I was reading The Rational Male and something about showing your sexuality made me think of how many sexual cues I try to hide away, and the biggest one - the erection. I think most men learn that erection is a bad thing (unless in a very specific context) and pay a high price to suppress it. It is a personal theory but I believe this suppression has deep roots into the male fear of being sexual with women. This requirement might be the main tool used to create betas/AFCs/nice guys.
Because in order to prevent it, you need to not allow your body and mind become sexual enough, you need to stop it before it gains momentum and do so with extreme prejudice. You see a hot girl, want to approach her, but maybe even before the hamstring the deeper psychological fear is "what if she will see I have an erection?"
Next time someone tells you about how sexually oppressed women are (which they might be) compared to man, tell them what it takes to all your life you need to make sure not to have an erection around other people.
Bluetinfoilhat 7y ago
How is hiding your erection oppression?? Should men just walk around with their pants down and erections out? WTF??
[deleted] 7y ago
The only female equivalent is probably the taboo around menstrual blood. Everything else is seen as hot by men, but potentially slutty by other women that wish to shame them.
I remember in a college class a hot blonde walking in after class had started. She had C-cups, no bra, boobs bouncing hard and on purpose with her walk, huge smile....and her nipples were hard as diamonds and everyone could see them clear as day.
She was proud and loved the attention. Every guy looked. Very different than if boner man came bouncing in.
NeoreactionSafe 7y ago
I'm okay with sexuality kept private.
We don't need public sexuality. In fact, it's really the constant attack of sexual images that is creating many of the mental problems.
I'd say we do better with less than more of this in public.
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Meatclap 7y ago
This seems like a quick way to harden someone rather than open their eyes. Comparing repressions (or scars) seldom does more than appeal to preexisting sympathy or start pissing contests.
Speaking only strictly as an American, sexual repression of men has always been high, as has the culture of sexual violence against men. The shame of unsolicited arousal of men, male sexuality that isn't controlled by females, or male sexual enjoyment that hasn't been doled out by a female partner, is a longtime issue people are only now beginning to really address like adults, and even then it's a minority. The public at large tends to have a herd mentality, many act without really considering (for example, language).
We have a lot of challenges we face with this problem, especially in gynocentric countries like mine, but I am truly impressed at how far we've come since my own adolescence in the 80s and 90s. Progress is progress, and try though people have with shame-driven guilt, humor, even passive or subversive media and imagery, the discussion is happening, and people are being a lot less jocular about it.
xinihil 7y ago
I flaunted my erections in high school. Lordy.
mugsaucecity 7y ago
Are u kidding me brah... you're just looking for shit to whine about
[deleted] 7y ago
no, its subtle brainwashing, and does affect you subconsciously.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmXGV65fRfs&list=PLj0JjUCx1S2240fj9gwhSE7PrqDwXrhlh
LordThunderbolt 7y ago
When I was a kid my mom used to tell me to tuck my dick between my legs because the bulge shouldn't appear and it looks uncivilized and improper. Thanks mom.
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PipingHotSoup 7y ago
I've picked at Amazon for a while, and I remember getting one book that was literally written for autistics on how to behave properly.
The book in a nutshell could have been called "Be Beta", but one point that stuck out sorely at me was on why having an erection is not a "public" topic, and how every time you have one you need to hide it. There was literally a picture of a kid with a boner crouched forward, as if that would somehow help.
What a sad situation it is when someone very socially awkward is supposed to cover up their autistic boner with a book or run around with their back at a 45 degree angle.
I'd like to see a redpill book for literal autists that would encourage a more brash and bold coping strategy: thrust that waist forward! Stand tall son, there's nothing to be ashamed of! If anything your boner is a blessing to be noticed and admired, you need to own it!
Someone decides to try and exert their subtle normie>autist control and makes some snide comment? Stare them in the eye and Agree and Amplify. "Yeah I'm hard, and I like myself and my body! I bet you wish you could do this!"
Instead, the truly marginalized are taught shame, and that they can only be happy through the approval of others.
Frankly if I saw an autist with a boner who was "owning it" instead of looking around shiftily and bending forward while holding an Obvious book in front of his crotch, I would give a hearty laugh and clap him on the back. Or the dick.
le_king_falcon 7y ago
The only way it will change is we were to change women. Which isn't going to happen.
Barry the obese beta getting a boner while sat next to Jane the cheerleader will never be socially acceptable as Jane would find it gross. How dare he get an erection?
Jane the cheerleader also doesn't like competition for the hot guys. She's beautiful, a straight natural HB9, why shouldn't she have first choice all the time. She doesn't like that Lauren who's less attractive gets the pick of the guys because she puts out easy, often and enthusiastically. It's way harder to coerce and control a man who's had his nuts emptied by an enthusiastic slut. So shaming Lauren is the way to go. Make her "dirty" so that not sleeping with her is a qualification in itself.
As long as women compete with each other there will be some shaming aspect of sex. Whether it's to reduce competition e.g. slutshaming and anti prostitution. Or shaming those deemed unworthy.
lulalady 7y ago
Everyone is sexually oppressed because sex is taboo in society for some reason.
Nudes can ruin a career, kinks can affect how people think of you, safe sex isn't taught in schools, etc. A lot of this is a result of religious ideology.
It's something that needs to change, but I don't know where we would start. Media? Policy?
AceBenedict23 7y ago
Agree apart from the safe sex isn't taught in schools part. Since 5th grade they were showing videos about safe sex and preventing pregnancy and STD's. By the time middle and high school rolled around people knew to wrap it up...well most people did. There's always that dumbass 11th grade girl that WANTS a baby.
My regular MD, chill guy was talking to me about safe sex and said there were 2 different girls at my then highschool who had specifically told him they wanted to get pregnant and were planning to tell their boyfriends they were on the contraceptive pill to accomplish this. Scared the shit out of me.
Heizenbrg 7y ago
I'm so glad I was raised in Italy and work for an Italian company here in the US.
We are a true redpill culture, no fucks given and romantic as well. If it wasn't shit right now over there you bet your ass I'd be there if the money was alright.
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McLarenX 7y ago
I don't think it needs to change. We have enough dumb sluts who are overexposed on corporate media for simply getting fucked in a "sex tape".
LazyMagus 7y ago
Religion gets the blame for everything bad. But feminism is as far from 'religious ideology' as it gets, and yet it is evil. So, blame human nature—ego and insecurity, and not religion, for the evils of sexual oppression on either genders.
Will_Die_Trying 7y ago
Semantics. The problem isn't 'religion', it's religious (dogmatic) thought - a thought process (worldview) not based or governed by rational logical thinking and empiricism.
Same shit, different animal.
kamwren 7y ago
Repressing our sexuality is what made civilization possible. The more energy people spend thinking about sex, the less productive they are. You basically want us as a society to become the loser who does nothing with his life but watches porn and jerks off all day. Sex is a vulgar issue as disgusting and pissing and shitting. We have to take care of it as quickly and quitely as possible, and would be much better off if we got rid of it altogether. Advocating to go back to a hyper-sexualized society is "feelz over realz" politics. Very toxic!
RedDeadCred 7y ago
Exactly. Knowing everything that's preached here about how women only offer good easy sex to a small fraction of guys while the rest are frustrated, why would someone suggest we go back to that? Marriage is for the vast majority of men that would be sexless if not for the arrangement, it keeps them motivated to work when they have to support a family, and it's the reason all successful societies have been marriage minded. When that attitude beings to wane so does society, see rome, Greece. Egypt, etc. And also modern society that has been experiencing a gradual movement away from marriage fpr the last hundred years and declining in accordance.
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maniclurker 7y ago
Your agreement isn't really necessary for observable facts.
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maniclurker 7y ago
Your argument was very weak. Europe was the birthplace of Catholicism, one of the most sexually repressive religions today. Atheism may be gaining traction there, but those ideologies are still going to affect your society for generations to come.
All I really need to do to directly refute your argument is to point out things that are directly repressive, and linked to religion, like circumcision. That practice is propagated by theists, and was introduced by them to suppress masturbation.
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aanarchist 7y ago
what better way to control people than through their sexuality? it's one of the most basic primal instincts people have right next to food and water
RedEyesBlueShades 7y ago
Controlling people is what makes society a society. Otherwise it an anarchist mess of people trying to subjugate each other, by any means necessary.
Given your username, I guess that's great in your opinion?
aanarchist 7y ago
No my friend that is not anarchy, you're describing what kind of people exist in this society. Anarchy means without rulers. I don't need laws to be moral, I don't take advantage of people or coerce them, I want win\win situations and will not deal with someone who wants to rip me off or use me. Other people have similar beliefs. You might too, idk if laws are all that's preventing you from being a murderer and a thief, but if so laws were necessary to control people like you, not me.
Maybe you should ask why is the world full of scum that tries to subjugate each other, rather than people looking to cooperate for the betterment of all who contribute?
RedEyesBlueShades 7y ago
Two words...
Human. Nature.
aanarchist 7y ago
it's not our nature, it's a sickness we've developed as a result of the false believe, this belief is called scarcity mentality, the root of fear.
newfoolery 7y ago
Scarcity is or was reality for most of human history and most of the existence of life itself. If it weren't, whence cometh the mentality?
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Consider how vocally TRP vilifies "the left," who champion individual liberation, sex positivism, sex education, birth control, abortion rights, alternative relationship models, and other tools and chattels of the plate spinning, never get married lifestyle.
Left/right politics is plugged-in behavior, it serves other masters by keeping potential allies arguing as mock enemies, instead of making threatening alliances along common interests.
If sexual oppression and taboos are giving you problems or TRP cognitive dissonance, don't neglect to follow the rabbit hole of right wing religious conservatism to see where that leads, before casting your lot 100% with the USA right wing.
slothsenpai 7y ago
Only for women though, and not for the common beta man who's only purpose is to serve and provide where they celebrate female promiscuity and hypergamy but shame men for having desire or standards. At least religious conservatism aren't hypocrites in that sense and practise their views equally.
teutonictoast 7y ago
"The left" may have championed sex positivism in the 1960's and for some time after, but I've seen a lot of sex shaming from their direction in the past few years. Don't forget the fact that countless times the people who championed a cause one day, sometimes become what they protested against the next day.
As you say, it can help to keep an objective outlook when using terms like "USA right wing". Most of all I see this place as challenging concepts that have had their honest criticism suppressed or mocked. Following the truth wherever it leads, however uncomfortable it may be to our sensibilities.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Agreed, and part of my point is, let US not become like that.
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[deleted] 7y ago
Trust me brother they don't promote those things with your interest in mind
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Just as TRP is a toolbox that each individual chooses what he needs for his life at this time and ignores the rest, so is politics a toolbox of ideas. Treating it as a box of two tools, where you have to choose one and reject and vilify the other regardless of need or context, is ridiculous.
[deleted] 7y ago
I understand that completely but you seem to fall for the doublespeak. Sex positivity is just being an unfaithful slut and the mainly male tax base subsidizing it. that's it that's literally all it is and they only want sex positivity for them not for you
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
I understand your point, but I have literally decades of experience engaging extreme leftist activist types. They almost certainly will try to attack a man on that front, but hypocrisy is their vulnerability here. Spin it such that oppressing your sex positivity is attacking the sex positivity of women too, with emphasis on the abstract women, not you, and watch the steam go right out of their argument.
[deleted] 7y ago
Hey, if it works for you I can't argue with that, I just choose to not engage.
Laterally_Cant_Even 7y ago
feminists are even worse than Christian prudes. At least Christians have a live and let live policy. Feminists will try to ruin your life if you go against their dogma. I can give plenty of examples.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Careful, brother... you stepped right back into the divisive right/left, us/them thinking I'm trying to warn about.
I can provide counter-examples till the cows come home, then at the end of the day, allies have cemented themselves as paper enemies, and those who would keep us as bickering enemies instead of uniting and actually changing/improving the US status quo go about their business, their work performed for them by us voluntarily, without them lifting a finger.
The left/right game is rigged so you can find elements of either side you'd be willing to embrace, but also such that you cannot fully embrace either without running afoul of some of your dearest beliefs.
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RedEyesBlueShades 7y ago
Hmmm... Not defending feminism, but Christians are not really better. Certainly not in their extremist manifestations. A bit old, but did you ever hear about Crusades? Not really a live and let live endeavour.
Throughout history Christians have strayed as far as it get from their own teaching of "offer the other cheek". And if today they appear peaceful is more a fluke of the era than anything else.
Laterally_Cant_Even 7y ago
The crusades were a response to a long time of Islamic invasions and slavery.
Real_Pokemon 7y ago
Correct.
I come from a part of the world that was directly exposed to those invasions. My grand - ... - grandpa fought in Vlad Tepes's ( also known as Dracula) army against the ottoman onslaught.
Seeing this false equivalence between Christianity and Islam rustles my jimmies.
Real_Pokemon 7y ago
Ah, the good-old "muh Crusades" argument.
It's amazing how liberals, in their push to promote the false equivalency of a violent Christianity compared to today's Islam, have to go back 1000 years in Christianity's past to do that.
Answer me this buttercup : what was the catalyst for the Crusades? What exactly led to the Pope to call for these incursions?
AsianZ1 7y ago
Incursions by the Seljuk Turks into Anatolia following the battle of Manzikert caused Byzantine Emperor Alexios Komenos to call for aid from the Roman Catholic pope, who sent out a general call for knights within the Latin Christian kingdoms to head to the Levant and recapture Jerusalem from Muslim hands.
Real_Pokemon 7y ago
Solid answer.
Appreciate the accuracy and detail. Maybe our friend can learn something today.
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Hillarysdilddo_2016 7y ago
I am always gaining new insights from this sub and I'm no fool.
Excellent post.
Additions: the left does not advocate sex positivism. They advocate social degeneracy.
Most modern people don't give a shit what you do in your own home. They do care whether that behavior leads to social cohesion and better outcomes or social chaos and worse outcomes. This is the fundamental delineator of left vs right.
Leftism uses cultural Marxism (identity politics) to usurp power from existing power structures. Don't be a pawn in their game.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
It's part of the oppression of alpha behaviour that women AND OTHER MEN suppress. Women in order to get beta bucks, men in order to avoid alpha competition.
It's normal and natural for all people to oppress the sexuality of each other to reduce competition. It's your job to dominate others and that means not being dominated. See through the lies and reclaim your sexuality.
Don't actually get your dick out in public, but do feel free to walk around hard as a fucking rock. Look proud while you do it.
I'm most concerned that she won't see it.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Well most people hide it in normal social settings where it would not be fitting. Or when you simply accidentally get one through to over-sensitivity without truly being turned on by someone.
You are right though, men are taught to avoid getting sexual. I remember when I was a teenager and I grinded a girl for the first time in a club. I was afraid I would get a boner. I did and was shocked she didn't walk away, instead she began rubbing her ass more intensely against me. Ever since I learned it's perfectly normal and I even aim to get one whenever I'm looking to be sexual with a girl. Same goes for grabbing and any other dominating action.
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trptwerp 7y ago
What makes it worse is that no one gives a fuck- not even other men. Guys who feel that they were robbed are told to shut up about it.
JohnnySkidmarx 7y ago
Ron Burgundy never tried to hide his. "Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection!"
[deleted] 7y ago
Anyone here watch Hulu's 11.22.63? There was a reference to one of the characters that keeps a clothespin clipped to his penis. In the 1940s and '50s, it was apparently fairly commonplace for mothers to put clothespins on their sons' penises in order to discourage masturbation. Basically dear old Mom would pull the foreskin over the penis and slide an old fashioned clothespin on. It would make an erection painful. It would be in little Johnny's best interest to keep pure thoughts. Unfortunately for Johnny in the show, the harsh punishment evidently turned into a fetish.
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dons90 7y ago
Um no, it's called keeping your genitals hidden and it's the same for both sexes. It's just a little more obvious for us guys.
[deleted] 7y ago
Bullshit. Men and women are treated totally differently in this area.
A hot woman wears no panties and accidentally shows a bit in public? No one cares, unless she has her legs spread open on purpose and kids are around to see. A guy goes commando one day with mid-length shorts and his wang accidentally falls out on the subway for a brief moment? He could easily get arrested.
RedDeadCred 7y ago
Except we love when women show cleavage and camel toe and tight pants showing every dimple in their buttcheeks.
Officer_Dick_Johnson 7y ago
And hard nipples. Don't forget the nipples!
kamwren 7y ago
I'm a guy and other guys' erection is the last thing I want to see in public.
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kamwren 7y ago
That's not the context OP's talking about. When no one notices you don't have to worry about it that you are oppressed, do you? I'm talking about situations where the thing stare rapes you. When it's close and persistent enough that you can't not notice it.
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luckinator 7y ago
Teenage boys should wear codpieces.
RPSigmaStigma 7y ago
I remember that so clearly. Finding excuses to not stand up so I could wait for my boner to go away. I actually started developing a sort of meditation technique to get rid of boners. The embarrassment and shame was real. I was so indoctrinated in the shame that I would even make sure that whenever I was standing my penis wasn't even "pointing" in a girl's direction because I didn't want to be threatening or whatever (threatening isn't even the right word, I don't even know what it was, just general shame over the idea of my penis pointing at a girl).
This kind of shit shapes men's ideas in very deep ways and the damage can last a lifetime.
[deleted] 7y ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmXGV65fRfs&list=PLj0JjUCx1S2240fj9gwhSE7PrqDwXrhlh
heal urself
bigcitytruth 7y ago
Gimme a break. Victimization over a boner?
HWstartup 7y ago
I spent 30% of my highschool trying to hide my random boners which just wouldn't go away.
I was picked on, scorned and laughed at by men and women alike.
Being in Blue pilled conservative India didn't help either.
It's a shitty feeling of shame, guilt and disgust within you and from others.
Looking back, I should have been proud of it and bragged about it.
My girlfriend had similar probs with big perky boobs which luckily never bounced. She shifted schools just cause the skirt was below knee length.
We've come a long way in terms of expression of sexuality.
anonymoustrper 7y ago
I know..... The worst of it for me was I never realized it was nothing wrong or was just natural till I hit mid-to-late twenties.. Heck. I used to masturbate regularly and feel guilty everytime, even to a masochistic tendency. Thankfully it didn't stick and I got over it, else might have turned out more schizoidal and may be even psychotic. And of course this being India, even fathers don't talk about it to their kids...
crazypolitics 7y ago
why do you cartoons cry so much? jesus....
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atlastrabeler 7y ago
What are you 15? I dont get boners randomly talking to women at all.
Lo-G 7y ago
As a 20 year old, if I haven't masturbated for a day or two, I'll get a boner from a slight breeze, let alone conversation with an attractive woman. I'm not repressed either. It just all depends on your testosterone levels.
Atuli 7y ago
I wish I did if I'm half chub my games on point.
dudeguymanthesecond 7y ago
All I gleaned from this thread is that trp is mostly teenagers. I don't get an erection with a woman in public unless she's grinding herself into my junk in some way.
jlife18 7y ago
That must suckered. My dick is loaded at all times
dudeguymanthesecond 7y ago
Just tuck it under the belt, bro.
Mike377774774 7y ago
I suggest you read No More Mr Nice Guy, you'll like it.
sithlordomega 7y ago
Wtf you guys hide it? I never do, granted i'm way Above average and I'm an egotistical bastard but still.
Loverofalifetime 7y ago
Good point considering it all about Testerone and probably the worst thing you can suppress
Orbiter42 7y ago
i like this post, but i think that something is being missed.
in body posture, "pelvic displays," are a sign of power and dominance. in particular to the subject. when men stand up straight, that angles our pelvis in such a way that the penis is on full display. many men are celebrated for (amoung other things,) their dominate stance, we unconsciously fight for the right to stand exposing our genitiles.
one thing i've noticed, when i stand proud and tall of who i am. when i hold frame. females all seem to want my attention. its like my body language is saying i've earned mating rights, and they can't help but notice.
edit, i guess i'm saying this entire thread, is one of the hidden ways society picks the alpha/beta males early. forcing beta males to take on a type lordosis/submissive posture, while alphas are celebrated and encouraged to show it off