THE GARBAGE COLLECTOR'S QUALITATIVE GUIDE TO THE FOUR BORDERLINE ARCHETYPES
Summary: The purpose of this guide to enable the men of TRP to visually identify women with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Edited for clarity and ease of reading.
Introduction
Women with Borderline Personality Disorder are dangerous, especially towards their sexual partner(s).
They use a predatory version of the female sexual strategy, whereby they will manipulate all of your masculine instincts, for the purposes of extracting your sperm, robbing you of your resources, and eventually destroying everything that you are as a man. There are many horror stories about men being cheated out of their lives here on TRP. This is a guide for anyone who enjoys having the capacity to value themselves, or otherwise wishes to regain the ability.
This is the first of what will be a multi-part series on how to quickly identify the Borderline Woman.
Content
This first post will be a lesson on how to identify the "Four Archetypes" of the Borderline Woman.
These are: (a) The Queen, (b) The Hermit, (c) The Waif, and (d) The Witch.
Each archetype reflects a unique resource-stealing strategy, as well as an insight into the delusion of the BPD mind. Due to her enormous exposure and frequent displays of BPD-like behavior, the subject of this post will be Taylor Swift.
After all... http://imgur.com/bxT8KFI
Included with this post are quotations from the book Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back when Someone You Care about has Borderline Personality Disorder.
These quotations will guide you when you are assessing how the BPD Woman is interacting with the people around her. They will also serve as a warning for what is to come should you choose to stay in proximity with one of these women.
THE GUIDE TO IDENTIFYING TO THE FOUR BORDERLINE ARCHETYPES
Italics are from “Stop Walking on Eggshells” by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason.
The Queen
This is your classic Narcissistic Borderline.
The Queen is the archetype that thinks that she's entitled to your worship. She is the most entitled manifestation, and will be the one caustically shredding apart other people when she thinks they're within earshot to hear half of it. She plays dumb if you confront her, but will later destroy your reputation in retaliation. You peasant.
Classic Presentation
http://imgur.com/gallery/mbBJoz0
http://imgur.com/gallery/I7997W9
http://imgur.com/gallery/ESCHs
http://imgur.com/gallery/Mgjh2AU
http://imgur.com/gallery/C1AhP
Typical Non-BP Thoughts about the Queen’s Behavior:
-
"I can’t meet this person’s needs; my best isn’t enough."
-
"Don’t I ever get to have any needs? (Better not say that, or the Queen will leave me.)"
-
"Why is everything always about her?"
- "If people only knew what an act the Queen puts on, they’d sure be shocked."
When The Queen is pleased:
http://imgur.com/gallery/wWElUJI
http://imgur.com/gallery/Ra9bt63
When The Queen is offended:
http://imgur.com/gallery/UadIxtt
When The Queen is “sad”:
http://imgur.com/B9XX9LU (Note her brief smile – she is getting the “correct” response)
Typical Emotions Stemming from the Non-BP’s Thoughts:
- Family members who the Queen shames, ignores, or gives superficial attention to learn that their worth depends on external things (cars, important titles).
- Non-BP’s self-esteem also suffers.
- Over time, Non-BPs feel used, manipulated, and angry at the BP and at themselves for catipulating so much they no longer recognize themselves.
ARCHETYPE SUMMARY: This bitch asks you to kiss her feet so she can kick you in the mouth. You are expected to be grateful for both.
The Hermit
The Hermit never runs out of things to be afraid of.
The Hermit is the one who will pathologically fail to deliver on her promises. She appears to be talented, maybe even sophisticated. She will trick you into believing that she "just needs help figuring a couple of things out". She will convince you that you are just the man for the job.
Unfortunately for you, there's always another "obstacle" in front of this woman, preventing her from contributing to the partnership.
She'll blame this, that, and the other... and eventually she will blame you. Once you've begun to internalize all of the fear she's forcing on you, she will think that you're a pussy and immediately lose all respect for you.
Classic Presentation
Typical Non-BP Thoughts about the Hermit’s Behavior:
- “Like the BP says, the world is unsafe and I should not risk trusting people.”
- “I need to protect the BP from the terror of the outside world.”
- “I am a faithful, loyal person and would never leave the BP to fend for herself.”
When the Hermit is “sad”:
http://imgur.com/gallery/no6xI6g
http://imgur.com/gallery/bnhfWr8
http://i.imgur.com/N26Ws2Z (This is the expression of the BPD hamster wheel. If this gaze is directed at you, that means that you and your possessions are in serious danger.)
When The Hermit has written you off:
When The Hermit is giving you shit:
Typical Emotions Stemming from the Non-BP’s Thoughts:
- “I feel trapped and isolated by the Hermit’s fear.”
- “I have trouble trusting and making mistakes because I know the BP will say ‘I told you so.'”
ARCHETYPE SUMMARY: This bitch asks you to push her car up the hill so that she doesn't have to turn on the engine, then turns around and charges you for the gas.
The Waif
Take a moment to skip ahead and look at the pictures under this subheading.
Notice the extreme difference in appearance between the subject as she presented between this and The Queen and Hermit states. This is the social chameleon at work. They are so different that one might even suspect that these are not the same person. That would be an accurate guess, since the Borderline Woman isn't truly any person at all.
The Waif is considered by some to be the most destructive of the archetypes.
No other archetype preys on the male protective instinct more viciously than The Waif. She's just so cute and helpless and hopeless and...
...she knows exactly what she's doing. She is a covert operator. You will do everything in your power to protect her from the world, and she will set it up so that you always fail her. She will likely succeed in convincing you that every single problem, from start to finish, was entirely your fault.
All she ever did was love you, after all.
Classic Presentation
http://imgur.com/gallery/d7OSKh0
http://imgur.com/gallery/uWPMxgg
Typical Non-BP Thoughts about the Waif’s Behavior:
- “She desperately needs help, so I must save her, no matter what.”
- “The greater the sacrifice, the more I show I love her.”
- “My needs are not as important as hers.”
- “If I learn enough about BPD, I can heal her.”
When The Waif has a savior:
When The Waif needs a savior:
http://imgur.com/gallery/3s16dQZ
Typical Emotions Stemming from the Non-BP’s Thoughts:
- “I like being needed, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the BP’s neediness.”
- “I get confused and frustrated when she rejects my help.”
- “Her behavior isn’t all that abnormal. I can manage it and so can the kids.”
- “I feel abused, and my self-esteem wasn’t all that high to begin with.”
ARCHETYPE SUMMARY: This bitch will float into your life and soothe your weary soul, only to psychologically castrate you. Afterwards, she'll claim that she's tried everything to make it work, but now she's ready to fall in love with A REAL MAN who will treat her right.
The Witch
The Witch is going to be the one that murders you.
Maybe literally, maybe only somewhat literally. The witch is a sadist, and pretty much only exists in two states: destroying you, and temporarily resisting the urge to destroy you. She will wreck everything you hold dear to "prove" a point, and desecrate all things sacred for the sheer thrill of ruining the things that matter to you. She is the ultimate at having fun at another's expense. Never reveal your weaknesses to this woman, and do allow yourself to be alone with her. She is so visibly insane that this part of the guide is hardly even necessary.
Classic Presentation
http://imgur.com/gallery/LJuVl
Typical Non-BP Thoughts about the Witch’s Behavior:
-
“I feel hurt, betrayed, and abused, and I am too scared or young to do anything about it.”
- “I will comply with what she wants. Resistance is futile. I will be assimilated.”
When The Witch is trying to stay contained:
http://imgur.com/gallery/a6dyQC9
Typical Emotions Stemming from the Non-BP’s Thoughts:
- Fear.
- Denial (on the part of those who could protect the victims).
ARCHETYPE SUMMARY: This bitch is torn on whether or not to kill you, because it would count as a personal failure on her part if murdering the shit out of you somehow caused you to end up "going to a better place."
Conclusion
-
Borderline Women are human parasites who will steal your resources if you give them an inch.
-
Borderline Women are social chameleons and are not able to experience proper human emotions.
- Borderline Women dupe well-meaning men by strategically employing the Four Archetypes.
IN CLOSING: Borderline Women are a HUGE problem for men. You are their prey, and the system as it is is currently not in your favor for recognizing the sort of agonizing abuse these types are capable of.
Therefore, you must take it upon yourself to learn how to defend yourself against these female predators
This is my own amateur research, and it was done specifically with the TRP community in mind. Too many men have been cheated out of their livelihood, and sometimes even their lives by these Borderline menaces. This work is a first attempt at helping safeguard men against this underappreciated threat.
BreaghaGreenEyes 7y ago
This made me love Taylor Swift again.
[deleted] 7y ago
OP thank you. I admire the quality of this post and having met my fair share of these archetypes it will help me a lot in the future.
[deleted] 7y ago
Hold frame, vet and kick to curb if she don't act right. Seriously. BPD women are easy to spot. They play act for a while like every girl does. But once that period is over, they'll start to do some real weird shit that will have you thinking "uh, wtf just happened?"
They'll also say some things that are odd, have emotions that are all over the place, especially their anger. A lot of small things that most people won't think twice about will set them off. They are also extremely impulsive; cheating, drinking, reckless spending of money are obvious signs for which to look. They're also emotionally empty, for the most part. Horrible self-esteem and self-image. My mother had BPD. Also, children of BPD parents are not doomed. You will need therapy though because BPD people are the last folks who should be having kids.
fatalbinoninja 7y ago
Holy crap. I married one! This explains so freaking much.
Dookiestain_LaFlair 7y ago
So is all this just cause you don't like Taylor Swift?
PANDAwaggon63 7y ago
BPD ex is what led me here. Hey shit did she fuck me up
RawgerOThornhill 7y ago
I was married to a BPD, her daughter was also BPD. Lived with them both for nearly 7 years, it was very intense. Key things to look for when determining if your current partner is BPD include:
(1) Self-harm. Cutting, suicide attempts, etc. My ex take on this was to dig into her fingers with her fingernails.
(2) Splitting: your partner will alternate between idealizing you and denigrating you, as BPD's are all-or-nothing. You (and they) are either all good or all bad, there is no in-between.
(3) They have addictive personalities, so expect abuse of drugs/alcohol, sex addictions, gambling etc.
(4) They tend to be paranoid, especially under stress. As other posters have mentioned, if they have lots of enemies or if all their previous relationships are now "bad", watch out.
(5) When they love you, they are incredibly passionate and expressive sexually. As the relationship progresses, you will become less and less idealized and more and more denigrated, until finally you are cast out. The intermittent positive reinforcement is like heroin: you put up with all the garbage just to get a little fix. This requires strong frame to avoid.
If you suspect you might be in a relationship with a BPD, get the book "Walking on Eggshells" and read it. Chances are >90% it won't work out, it is very hard to treat BPD as they cannot tolerate anything that suggests they are not 100% OK.
Basically they have an extreme, nuclear form of hamster that can justify anything, up to and including physical violence, murder, fraud and any kind of abusive behavior toward you and your family.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Very nice idea to make a series of posts. Well done with the flair, you have potential. I agree that bpds are probably the number one threat to your happiness. Though I doubt RP men would attract them since they usually target beta man.
Anyway I found this post to be lacking with any specific lessons learned and concrete talk about the inner workings of bpds. You are clearly interested and knowledgeable about the subject so it's a shame, given how well written your post was. I really hope you take everything from part 1 and make part 2 the post it's meant to be.
Also after seeing the twentythousand personalities of Taylor Swift in gif actions I can't help but notice how bland she is in the looks department. Where does this basket case get her entitlement from, I've dated hotter women than her when I was a teenager.
gkmedia 7y ago
The reactions from "when the hermit writes you off" bring back nightmares. I dated a girl (if you can call it that) who was a combination of all of those archetypes, and was more on the narcissistic personality disorder side than BPD (even if only exaggerated coping mechanism for deeply engrained feelings of worthlessness). Good post. I do think facial expressions and dramatic gestures can be a tip off, but there are better ways to convey warnings and red flags, especially because the type can be so predictable when you've already encountered them. Even things you thought were eccentric about one are the same in the next. However, you absolutely need to look within and ask yourself why you date this type. I had to. It's very much a co-dependency. A distraction from your own issues and perception of self-worth. I was letting my health and mental well-being slide for this absolute energy vampire, and although I think the world would be a better place without that type, it was no one's fault but my own
[deleted] 7y ago
OP has such a crush on TS
But this is a really good HOW TO guide on not sticking your dick in crazy
DiarrheaHelmet 7y ago
Just got through one paragraph and realized it was satire making fun of red pill. Pretty spot on.
Entropy-7 7y ago
The mindfuck is that the hottest DTF girl who completely rocks your world on the first date is probably BPD and will ultimately add more complications to your life than she is worth.
zigg-_-zagg 7y ago
Been there , done that . Out of the FOG now.
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
It's always good to hear that. Congrats.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
OP: you are confused between "BPD women" and "women".
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
That's the fucked up part. You're reading this and you instantly think 'AWALT'. But once you've experienced a girl like that first hand you will know. It's like doing coke after years of chugging Bud Lights. You think you know but you don't.
The level of crazy that bpd women operate on is on a whole new level. You won't know right from wrong, left from right and up and down once she's done with you.
Afterward you will initially assume every woman secretly is like that. Which makes you ruin allot of potential relationships until you calm down. From experience I can say that for sure.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
I've dated BPD once for sure, perhaps twice. It's not that every woman is secretly like that, it's that they are at the extreme end of behaviour, but all women show the same traits to a greater or lesser degree: neediness, manipulation, dishonesty, rapidly changing feelings emotions, blaming, insecurity.
[deleted] 7y ago
Was it you that called it the ADHD for women?
was some serious fire with that analogy
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Nope, don't think it was me... I'll remember the line though :)
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Obviously, you're still dealing with a woman. The point about Bpd is that their actions are so erratic and so unstable that they make for horrible time investments. You can't be her rock because she won't allow that.
Bpd women are drowned in emotion while regular women swim in emotions. Applying things like dread game to a bpd woman will actually cause negative results. Because even though she gets the tingles, her fear of abandonment outweighs it all.
I've dated both bpd and normal girls and I won't even keep close with the former. They are truly batshit.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Oh yes. The usual female solipsism and blame shifting is one thing, but the full BPD has to be completely cut out of your life. Then they stalk you. Which rather proves the point about them being batshit insane.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
The bpd I dated went on to break things off with me, when I instantly went ice cold she freaked. Tried to make me jealous, caused lots of drama. After a while she found another victim and tried playing him against me. At this time I found TRP and was generally over the whole thing. It was easier for me than most guys.
This girl tried contacting me trice with some small talk excuse, I didn't bite and I haven't heard from her since. It's been about 2-3 years now and at first I believed she'd come back to try to reel me in but after a while I figured I truly shook her. Which is weird since allot of people said they never heard the end of it.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
When dealing with stalkers (which BPD often do), the trick is ZERO contact.
The "never shake them loose" is because you keep giving them hope by maintaining some sort of contact. Even "do not contact me" gives them hope and motivates them. The trick as you did (and I did) was to give them ZERO contact.
Planner_Hammish 7y ago
This is good advice for dealing with life after Narcissists too.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Yeah bassically went zero contact. She tried to get me talking a couple of times. I guess this worked for her in the past. But I felt no reason to do so. She was just trying to get me jealous with some guy. When I wouldn't bite, she LTR'd him lol.
Which is weird since with normal women its usually the opposite, the less needy you are the more they want you. But with bpd you actually have to signal you're needy.
I guess I wasn't blue pill enough.
[deleted]
[deleted] 7y ago
Holy shit. This hit way too close to home. I dated a girl like this once and the Waif/Hermit sections were basically a biography of her.
I look forward to reading more of these.
Gus_Buckeye 7y ago
I dated a borderline (undiagnosed but she met all the criteria) for almost two years and it nearly destroyed me. This site called Shrink 4 Men, which is linked in the sidebar, literally saved my life.
If you're involved with a borderline chick there is no saving her. You can only save yourself.
Mckallidon 7y ago
Yep. Only guys like us can understand. They're so good at what they do. They will get the best of us unless you smash and next.
TermsOfColors 7y ago
One of my ex-girlfriends was crazy. I broke up with her not long after finding out she was seeing a therapist or psychiatrist or whatever. As you may guess, I caught a little bit of hell over that. Whatever. I ran into her last year, she has married/divorced twice since then and was actively trying to reel in number 3. There but for the grace of God go I.....
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
Like dodging a bullet aimed at your wallet.
Limekill 7y ago
LIFE.
From what I've heard with bpd, wallet is the least of your problems.
[deleted]
[deleted] 7y ago
Those pics and gifs were a little much tbh.
Fulp_Piction 7y ago
"You ain't supposed to see the whole eyeball on ANYBODY" - Dr. P
ek1995 7y ago
What the sandwich fuck is this?
PoofyPossum666 7y ago
I don't quite know but it gave me a laugh.
ek1995 7y ago
It read like some kind of cult manual lmao
bigk12345 7y ago
BPDs are intoxicating because they are hot and put you through a fucking roller coaster of emotions.
They are also chameleons. My BPD ex pretended to be a good wife material - she cleaned, cooked, demonstrated good motherly qualities.
And then insecurities plus her past started coming out.
Abortion, random stalking of past " abusive" exs. It was mesmerizing to see how a woman could justify all these things and blame others for her own faults.
Once she didn't get what she wanted( marriage) within short timeline, she fucked off to another guy and cheated on me. I was devastated. Another red flag were short term relationships prior to me - I was 2 years, longest before that was 6 months ( read fuck buddies).They are incredibly fickle and unstable.
After TRP, some shit clicked, I figured;
She came from a dysfunctional family where she father was a pushover to the manipulative bitch of a wife and ex hated his father for it. She felt justified in destroying my self esteem and taking out all the anger on me because of all men are pigs and did her wrong in her life.
The funny thing is they cannot pair bond. I know Rollo talks how women love differently but BPDs cannot pair bond at all. They are literally there to satisfy their own purpose and you are just a prop in their scheme- in my case, my role was to be the perfect, moulded husband that must adhere to her standards. Anything I said that went against her will , I could literally see her struggle to realize it by her facial expressions
AVOID!!!! AVOID!!!!
I think this link should be required reading for TRP and should be on sidebar.
http://www.sharischreiber.com/articles.html
beginner_ 7y ago
That's why vetting is a long process that stresses her patience. First you need to find a suitable women and then you still need to wait a couple years till you have kids (if that is you goal). And don't marry.
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
That website is fantastic and I would second having it placed in the sidebar.
bigk12345 7y ago
It definitely breaks it down in a concise, clear way.
I didn't even know what BPD was.
After reading the website, the light bulbs went off.
I knew what I dealt with was not ordinary.
BPDs are not for the light hearted. Average joes are taught to accept women for who they are, rely on communication and rely on happy wife, happy life bullshit while they emotionally mindfuck you. It is like they get a joy from bringing you down and bringing you to your knees only to dump you after and say " Yay, I did it".
Only to leech on to the next victim.
e4tshit 7y ago
I think the fact that humans like this exists is culprit behind why the current dating scene is what it is. Dating now is allowing time to go by to allow any crazy show. She's vetting me, I'm vetting her. We're both sizing each other up wondering if each other is a nut while smiling into each others face and laughing. I think it's difficult to have healthy interactions when suspicion is default, but at the end of the day you need to protect yourself.
For me, meeting a woman is like two people shaking hands and both have a knife behind their back. A relationship is when I decide to set my knife down but she keeps hers. I give my trust...I'm then royally punished for it...rinse and repeat. I'm not even angry anymore, it's just sad to confront the fact that a entire crop of women are ruined beyond repair. Self sabotaging robots.
bigk12345 7y ago
One of the biggest takeaways from TRP is that you are the prize.
I understand what you are saying and it sounds like you are clinging on the idealistic view of love. It is easy for us to let our guard down and enjoy the company of a loved one. Males get shit on from every angle and we just want to be accepted once in awhile. Women love opportunistically and will just shit on you as soon as they sense you are beneath them. That's why I realized vulnerability is not a virtue to a chick.
Funny to think BPD actually taught me so many redpill lessons before I even started reading TRP( albeit in psychopathic ways).
Where the screwed up part is that society reinforces womens' shitty behaviour. Since most of them cannot think for themselves anyways, women will just recite some preset, canned thinking .
" OMG. You would support Trump. You totally hate women" " OMG. You are a player. That is wrong" - as she can't figure why her vagina is wet from your player ways.
There are a lot of messed up women, especially since they run around and think they run the world instead of embracing the love model of men->women-> children.
That is just how it is. If we just work on career, health, develop social circle and make ourselves priority, that's the only option males have. Keep spinning plates in the mean time.
Marriage is obviously a fucking joke now.
I struggle with the idea of kids now. I would want some little dudes running around, but I don't think getting married for that reason alone is a good investment .
Temperfuelmma 7y ago
.
.
.
.
.
All of these resonate perfectly with my personality. Does this mean I have BPD?
Limekill 7y ago
Are you hot? How many gay guys have said that to you in the last 3 days?
bigk12345 7y ago
Quite a few. It is great for my self esteem.
bigk12345 7y ago
Maybe, maybe not. I am not a professional.
Temperfuelmma 7y ago
Oh. Well if it is, then BDP is basically the female version of the "Asshole".
The manipulative, abusive yet sexy.
I'm trying to understand BDP better and frankly I seem to have a better time spending with these types.
bigk12345 7y ago
They are not assholes.
They are psychopaths.
If you are an alpha male, you can stomach them for a bit but it is not worth it even if you keep them as fuck buddies.
The guy my ex dated said he was very dominant, been to jail, etc. She loved it, but her BPD tendencies pissed her off that she couldn't control it. Of course , her female nature loved being submissive at first , but afterwards hamster goes off as to why she couldn't control the guy who just left after the abortion.
Paratonir 7y ago
2 years ago back in my full beta days, I was "friends" with a waif who has the most beta cuck boyfriend the world has ever seen. They are still dating to this day, but it is fascinating to see life being sucked out of him progressively while he still blames her "emotional troubles" for any shit that she pulls off. I've never read about BPD archetypes until today, but I still knew that she was crazy and manipulative even as a beta. It's sad how some idiots are so brainwashed that they can sugar coat crazy behaviour when they see it and twist the blame onto something else.
BobbyPeru 7y ago
The term is "gaslighting. Google it. - some great links
Dream_21 7y ago
I love seeing more discussion of cluster B disorders in TRP. Thanks to OP for making this post and great comments. Cluster B women are something special.
For those of you who haven't experience one... you're in for a nasty treat if and when you ever do. It's the worst ingredients of women, super charged + NOS.
Study up, don't let taking the red pill make you over-confident.
Anyone transitioning from beta to alpha is a prime target for BPD women...
fullofblackness 7y ago
I would say that anyone recently transitioned from beta to alpha is a prime target for women in general...like I was in the past. It doesn't make these women automatically BPD though..
Dream_21 7y ago
Guys transitioning are an odd mixture of traits. All women yes, but cluster B women specifically. They are predatory above and beyond the average woman.
Cluster B women have little use for weak betas. True Chad Thundercocks are going to be immune to a lot of their crap. It's guys fluctuating in the middle with high motivation and drive to improve that will attract the true vampires.
They are satisfying and tasty prey for the succubus.
electricqueer 7y ago
Everytime I read info on BPD women I can't help but think isn't this behaviour how most, if not ALL women behave...
PM-ME-YOUR-SEXTAPE 7y ago
Rampant drug abuse, and I mean rampant. A long history of flings, etc. and the bitch put me on a pedestal so high my head was in the clouds within 5 mins of meeting me. Emotionally manipulative. You'll know it when you see it
Five_Decades 7y ago
Most borderlines aren't as hot as swift though.
bsutansalt 7y ago
While true, they do lay on the seduction and such that it feeeeels like the most amazing relationship ever. Many guys will think back to their BPD experience with warm feelings of how it was in the beginning. This is not to be confused with the honeymoon phase of all relationships. No, you'll know you were the victim of a BPD because it'll stand out amazingly well in juxtaposition with other relationships in that same phase of the game.
tl;dr - BPD relationships are super duper extra lovey dovey at the beginning and they make you feel like you're on cloud 9.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Agreed, I once met this girl who wasn't that hot at all. She took good care of her appearance and dressed well. But her body was sub-par. The girl was thick, bordering on fat, big headed. Her tits refused to look at each other, her ass was flat. I had considerable difficulties enjoying the sex.
Everything else however was from another level. It's like knowing what it's like to be happy until you take xtc. Borderline women lay on the loving so thick that you can't help but enjoy it. Everything about the beginning stages is easy. You feel like you can talk about anything with this girl.
What's happening is that you are in a positive feedback loop with her. You are new and you haven't done anything to hurt her yet. She idolizes you and everytime you respond positively this loop gets reinforced. You feel her appreciating you and you in return appreciate her and this keeps going. Which explains the intense honeymoon phase BPD's enter.
The moment however that you disappoint her, all of this comes crashing down and no you are in the negative spiral.
TyrannyVengeance 7y ago
Eh, I'm BPD, and I can usually turn that shit on whenever I want. The problem is it's addictive and the women I'm with want me to be their fucking drug all the time.
Thing is I'm aware or how fucking sick I am, but what can I do?
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
Her plastic surgeon did a fantastic job.
Credit where credit is due, it's not even noticeable unless you're comparing photos from years ago.
StotheGG 7y ago
She looks way older than her actual age, has gotten too thin, and her face looks sunken in. At least she got breast implants.
trppr 7y ago
Can you elaborate more on the difference between hermit and waif? They both appear to be operating around activating sympathy and protector emotions.
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
Yes, both strategies do activate the masculine protective response. The key difference is that the Waif uses innocent helplessness and the Hermit uses fear - both yours and hers.
The Waif's outward appearance is that of someone small and indefinite. She is very much like a child, and will prey upon the paternal aspects of your protective instincts. Just like with a child, you're opening jars for her, tying her shoes, running to the store for her, doing her taxes... until you're just doing everything and she's in la-la land playing with crayons or some shit.
If you ask her to pick up any of the slack at all, her eyes will get really big like a toddler, and she will start crying like she's a baby that you just smacked. You become wrecked with guilt, and decide to take on even more of her burden. She continues on with the crayons as if nothing's happened.
The Hermit is someone who looks more like she's got her shit together, with the exception of a couple of roadblocks which she will claim are outside of her control. Her MO is to send you off to conquer these roadblocks, preying on your "protect the homestead" instincts. She fills your head full of her bullshit fears, then will dishearten you with her lackluster appreciation.
You waste your time nervously anticipating having to fight dragons (as she describes them), only to discover that they're actually just some lizards that crawled into the backyard. The Hermit tells you that you did a bad job getting rid of them, and she should have just done it herself (not that she ever actually follows through). Eventually those lizards become equivalent to dragons in your mind.
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Whisper 7y ago
All of this is far too elabourate to be a good thumbnail. As a writer, you need to strive for clarity of basics over completeness.
Here's what people need to know about Borderline women:
They love you madly, until the first time you disappoint them in any way.
Then they hate you, and they will kill your pets.
Beware of any woman who idealizes you right away, and tells stories of all the horrible people who betrayed her and let her down in the past.
shzftw 7y ago
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splitting_(psychology)
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Your summary hits the key point missed - the flipping between adoration and hatred.
jackandjill22 7y ago
Everytime someone says something long these lines Im imagining Gone girl. & it scares the literal shit out of me.
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Arnoux 7y ago
I had a borderline gf for only 2.5 months.
Guys, this bolded text is exactly how borderline behaves. I had several breakups and this was really a different. Borderline is fucking sadist. Like literally she like others to suffer.
There were very very clear red flags, I just didn't recognized it in time.
BobbyPeru 7y ago
Well if it only lasted 2.5 months, perhaps you did recognize it in time. Give yourself credit where credit is due
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Hahahaha same here, 2,5 months brah! It used to boggle my mind how short that one lasted while the biggest beta cucks out there remain chained for over years.
Once you hurt them they turn into devils sadist and won't stop until they've got you.
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
Thanks for the tip, I edited the post down to reflect your suggestion.
PM-ME-YOUR-SEXTAPE 7y ago
Holy shit. Just dogged a bullet a few weeks ago. Chick was DTF on first sight, I just felt an odd gut instinct, and bailed. I thought it was bcs she was too needy, but no, she's fucking psycho
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Doesn't really matter as long as you don't get emotionally attached and distanced. Most of them won't burn your car right away..
reigorius 7y ago
Detailz on her being psycho please.
reigorius 7y ago
Oh, totally this. Especially the part when you disappoint them. Not sure if she was BPD. Maybe a light case. Beginning was truly awesome. Best sex ever. She came easily and often and it was just mad sex heaven. I'm a sucker for girls being caring and nice cooks. Add the sex and her looks to the mix, I started picturing a future with her quite easily and fast. When I disappointed her, in whatever unknown benign way, the payback was subtle, put totally tailored to my weak spots. When things didn't went the way she wanted and pictured, she retaliated. I don't know what kind of sorcery of voodoo she used, but it was invisible and got me emotionally. But I was hooked. Great body, absolutely fine sex, great cook and she had a nice family.
So I constantly reasoned away her behaviour that made me feel fucking miserable: 'it wasn't her day, something happened at work, maybe I was indeed a dick' and etc.
Maybe the first red flag was our first weekend away. Something happened (my cooking sounded too much something or whatever the fuck displeased her) and later in bed, after her first temper tantrum, she told me; 'now it's not perfect any more.'
To me the wish for things to be perfect should have been a red flag and even more the subsequent behaviour change and emotional punishment. I had oneitis... Not sure if she was BP though, but she got to me good.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
The reason the sex is that great with them in the beginning is because no other woman will surrender and idealize you like that this easily. It's a classic identifier that bpd women are the easiest once they decided to target you. They aren't necessarily easy sluts but rather easy sluts for their pedestalled victim.
Whatever it is you want they will do as long as you don't disappoint them. Combine that with her high levels of unrealistic attraction to you in the beginning and you will find her at her horniest.
The sex is unreal but all of it is just an illusion. Normal girls are that easy and you will have to pass numerous shit tests to get her to that submissive point.
This is their greatest weapon. They give otherwise reasonably beta men a taste of what it's like to be alpha. As long as she idealizes you she lets you be the alpha and you will be hooked at the power she gives you.
[deleted] 7y ago
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Stythe 7y ago
Chis rock has some legit stuff. His bit about platonic male friends to a woman being ducks in glass jars with a "break in case of emergency" sign on them is great.
Anyway, your bit on the next guy in line being the guy she's focused on is spot on. Even if the attention is apparently negative, he's got her focus. My ex met a friend of mine who she said she didn't like. Immediately I knew what was up, as he was her type. She later tried to orchestrate a swap session on his birthday where him and a a friend of mine fucked and her and I fucked in a hotel. She then mentioned she wanted to swap partners.
I wasnt to the whole thing but I wasn't against it either, so I was taking in the scene. She started to get upset and eventually threw a giant temper tantrum that led to us leaving angrily and screaming at each other, all because she had decided I wasn't into it. Once home she threatened to kill herself after the argument got heated. She pulled out a knife and put it to her wrist saying she'd do it. I grabbed it, put it over mine and said "c'mon then, show me" and she gave up, callapsed on the floor and started crying.
It was nuts, but this is one of the bigger arguments we had for what seemed like no reason to me at the time. In retrospect zi realised she orchestrated everything. Someome more experienced can correct me with their views but my thoughts are that she wanted to fuck him and my female friend, she planned the foursome with the female friend (they were both slutty girls) thinking she'd get both and that'd get her off. Instead I wasn't stoked and she got worried I might see her plan so she threw a fit to completely change the issue. And it worked.
This kimd of shit wasn't uncommon either, the form the arguments took just varied. It was a drama-coaster. I've never learned so much from anybody but I'd never wish it on anybody either.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
The self harm shows in many ways. If it's culturally unacceptable for her to hut herself she will do it in other ways. Getting in traffic accidents for example.
Same here, but I think this is mostly genetic and unlucky. Lots of BPD are skinny. Possibly those who are a little heavier develop stronger BPD tendencies because of the abandonment and rejection they face.
Me to but only to retaliate everytime this girl lashed out. I don't allow for manipulation or otherwise screwed behavior. There's always a counter attack planned for these people. Only later did I learn most of her attacks where done after perceived slights on my part.
What do you mean with that?
Care to elaborate?
For BPD women this is double as true because the way they usually have sex is by entering idealization cycles with some dude. Which is is partially consciously triggered by themselves. Their current boyfriend could never give her that newness high she gets from the honeymoon phase. So subconsciously the girl knows that if she wants to fall in love again, she needs to find a new target.
Very true, they test differently. I didn't realize this and that's why the relationship with this girl never lasted long. I'm a bad match for these girls long term because they fail to control me.
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bigk12345 7y ago
When they are miserable, they want the world to burn.
When they are happy, they take you to 7th heaven.
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Heyokalol 7y ago
This post is pure shit. Go masturbate to Taylor Swift elsewhere faggot.
oxnaes 7y ago
To all posters saying BPD is just female traits, wrong.
I was married w/1 kid for 5 years to someone who was eventually diagnosed w/BPD tendencies after I came home to her saying "goodbye, mommy will miss you" to my 4yo son, next to an empty bottle of pills. She had, at that point, been caught having affair and knew I was on way out, so to manipulate human sympathies and make me look like a scumbag , she developed "cancer", started running and shaved her head to look the part. I stuck around for too long, and was fully fluent in crazy as a result. Son lives with me now, and I'm hoping nothing was passed to him
jeff1328 7y ago
Jesus.....as someone who spent 2 years with BP "Waif" (nailed it to a tee I swear) this is scary accurate. Thank you for the post. I think a lot of women have various attributes of BP some more than others but as someone who is selfless its hard to identify when you are being prayed upon. Hopefully this helps a few open their eyes. I know I needed to open mine but by the time I did it was too late.
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
You forgot, in your research, the biggest point of them all: dysfunction attracts dysfunction. If you had a mom who has BPD, you have the male version of BPD. You will feel a natural connection with these types of women. It will feel right. you will feel wholesome. And then they slowly begin to poison you. BPD always have an agenda. Most women have an agenda when it comes to their social standing (for instance protecting their innocence if they're called out for being a slut) but BPD women have a plan from the very moment they meet you. They have decided you are the one. The seduction comes too easy.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
I've heard this said allot but I'm not so sure. I would label my mom BPD and my dad NPD. But every single personality test I did ended up with some psychopath/sociopath percentile.
Also had a quick ruin in with a BPD and honestly I felt no natural connection to her abusive ways. I liked the adoration in the beginning and being seen a god. But everything after that just didn't make no sense. I lasted about 2,5 months until I couldn't take it anymore and rid myself of her.
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
There are different types of BPDs as described in the article above. You said it yourself you initially enjoyed the adoration at the beginning. That was sucking you in. It was the other traits that turned you off.
I'm a sucker for a BPD waifs/hermits. The hipster girls who act homely and family-oriented and shy. But are really whores. I learned this the hard way. But I'm still drawn to it. I absolutely am repulsed by BPD queens. I notice they affect me. I am emotionally compelled to the slightest degree around them but the rest of their behavior is vinegar. I stay far away from them and their condescending attitude that seems to pierce through my social facade as if they're the little defeatist voice in my head being amplified by the woman in the room.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
I'd say Npd's and Psychopaths equally enjoy the adoration a Bpd but what sets them apart is the short time the Bpd can stomach them. Whilst the more frail men allow her to leach on them much longer.
Tyleroo8 7y ago
Psychologists agree that one of the main traits of the disorder can be summarized by "I hate you don't leave me." My father is a physician and married two BP personalities, fathering me and my little brother between the two of them. Since the age of 8 I've heard constantly from my father flee at the first signs of this personality trait. as one of the few children to grow up being taught standard RP practice AS a response to BP personality traits, I'd like to raise the bar and say that this is now a "normal" dysfunction that is literally being programmed into women. This trait is often handed down from woman to woman for generations (biological mom evidence of this being a trend in all the women in her family). I think it boils down to alpha women vs alpha men and the power dynamic. Obviously the justic system and society have severely expedited this process. At the end of the day it is insanity and fights natural human male/female dynamics. Experience: RP dad teaching me how to deal with crazy gash for 18 years and a strong grasp of human development.
Globetrotta 7y ago
Also true. My mom, grandmothers on both sides, and great-grandmothers on both sides all behaved as a BPD woman. In a Pavlovian manner, I emulated the men in my life and married a BPD. My mistake. I educated myself, and kicked her ass out of the house with nothing and no alimony. I'm deep in the MGTOW pool now. It's a good feeling, albeit a tragedy, to identify from afar so many crazy BPD / narcissistic women.
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TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
You're exactly right. Dysfunction does attract dysfunction.
The unfortunate truth is that the feminization of the west has made men vulnerable (or otherwise acclimatized them) to accepting female dysfunction by default.
Many of the red flags are actually glorified by blue pill logic. It's called "falling" in love for a reason, and that's because you're losing your balance and losing your frame. They claim that being vulnerable is what makes you a "good man." It's not. Vulnerable just means one thing: vulnerable.
Borderline Women will inject their victims with emotions that can force them into a heroin-like version of oneitis.
To continue the metaphor, the purpose of this first post is to show what "heroin" looks like. The dangers will be described in more detail in the subsequent parts. Right now is just about becoming familiar with the facial/expressive tells.
reigorius 7y ago
I enjoy that one meme:
If you can't take me at my worst, you have healthy boundaries.
BobbyPeru 7y ago
It also means a dried up pussy
bigk12345 7y ago
Feminism's empowerment and encouragement of strong, independent woman mentality makes it harder on men to realize that BPDs are no ordinary women.
You are walking a line between a modern fem-powered woman and BPD.
"Oh boy, there must be something wrong with you. You are not man enough and insecure because you cannot accept her "strong" personality."
Here is another article I came across yesterday.
Goood summary of BPDs as well:
https://blacklabellogic.com/2016/10/11/women-and-borderline-personality-disorder/
reigorius 7y ago
Dated a BPD woman once. Met her a the climbing gym and we started out as climbing partners. I found her attractive, but didn't consider her an option. For no particular reason. When I mentioned, for fun, she should take me out to dinner, she jumped on the chance. I didn't take it too serious, but when meeting up for dinner, it was obvious she did. Dressed to kill and ready to seduce. She insisted on paying and in the end we kissed, I grappled her fine titties and called it a night. During the weekend I got an avalanche of texts, proclaiming I was the one. A diamond in the rough. I was baffled, but my dick still picturing her petite titties, and thus still wanted to empty inside her. When I explained and warned her I was going to be busy for half a day and couldn't reply instantly, she went bananas when I was slow in responding. I was being cold, distant, blabla. I was dumbfounded. I told her she was unreasonable. She wouldn't take of any it. It was me, all me who made her feel that way. We met up the next day, because that was the plan we agreed on earlier. I tried to reason with her (lol). When she just did not show a shred of permissiveness and kept putting the responsibility of her feelings at my feet, I ended it on the spot. She already made me feel bad for her own erratic behaviour, I consciously knew she would make my life a miserable hell if she already acting like that for something she did. Noped the fuck out of there.
It was only after I told my buddies about this batcrazy girl, I learned about BPD. Guess it's a well-known thing among guys. Last thing I heard, she met a dude and got pregnant shortly after.
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
That all sounds accurate. Where you are different from men who have BPD moms/BPD issues themselves, they would not see the erratic behavior. It'd be played off so smoothly that they wouldn't see bs. They'd genuinely believe they led her on and she would have the advantage over his emotions.
[deleted] 7y ago
I don't think having a BPD mom destines a man to be BPD. Probably codependent and drawn to BPDs though.
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
Wrong. Do some research on the subject. The neglect and abuse from the BPD mother leaves an imprint on your sympathetic nervous system that turns you into a broken person.
[deleted] 7y ago
but its not necessarily BPD: I talked about all this with my therapist after being in a relationship with a BPD. Therapist had been a researcher in the field before she became an independent psychiatrist, knew a ton about BPDs.
She suggested that there was a good chance of being BPD or codependent from having a BPD parent.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
What is the sympathetic nervous system and what are the effects when damaged? NPD/BPD/ASD parents often produce psychopathic kids. In one way or another. Though I don't believe men tend to lean on the emotional/vulnerable.
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
The SNS is what's responsible for your 'fight-or-flight' responses. They're all the fucked up thanks to your parents. When a child is neglected by his BPD mom he learns to suppress many emotional needs because crying and whining do not get them met. The child learns that they need to behave favorably around mother to get their needs met. This generates a level of fear or shame to express how they really feel. Ever had a situation where you know you can fight but you freeze up for no reason? That's a fucked up SNS. Ever been in a tense situation where everyone is panicking and you're as calm as a hindu cow? That's a fucked up SNS.
In these two examples: I cannot relax around people. I just cannot trust them. My 'acting' switch is always on. (This would be my personal freeze up). When someone's in a room with me, I'm subconsciously tracking their whereabouts. Similar to how I might have been when my mother was raising me. Likewise I can orchestrate really fucked up social situations to get my revenge on people who fucked me over and enjoy the tense consequences with a calmness unmatched by other non BPDs. This is the fight response.
Psycopath's brain waves are on the theta frequencies which is mostly dream-like. Non BPDs brain waves operate on the beta waves which is high alert. This makes sense from the neglect and abusive point of view. The child had to learn how to cope and 'dial back' their feeling responses to certain things.
Now there is a spectrum of traits. I understand feelings and I experience feelings myself. But they are different. For instance, I learned the other day most people have memories based on feelings alone. That's new to me! I have memories based on facts/interesting patterns I observed/or intense negative feelings. The only memories I have based on intense positive feelings is sex (note: this is the parasympathetic nervous system responsible for the feed-and-breed responses. It makes sense that BPDs PNS > SNS).
We are vulnerable in the sense that other dysfunctional people pluck our weaker responses so much easier. Ever play pokemon? It's like normal people are water/fire/grass types. There's a typical cycle there of what personality affects which the best. BPDs are like dark/ghost types. Unaffected by the original triad of personality types but super effective to eachother.
BPDs can feel just like any other person. What they feel and how they feel is entirely different. There are times I know I should feel sadness for another person or a situation but the feelings simply do not come. I could just as easily be watching the Food Network.
edit: better examples
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Which is weird, I've often heard stories about sons living with their singe mothers that learned to cater to them and care for them ignoring themselves.
However when I was five my mother split up with my dad (he left her) and she turned to me instead of finding another man. Instead of catering to her I instantly distanced myself and cut her off. Maybe I had healthy natural boundaries but I can't ever remember a time where I did anything to adhere to my mom. She'd freak out about it to, throwing me on the street when I was a kid or generally trying to bait my sympathy by crying loudly.
Initially when I was younger I fell for it and tries to calm her somewhat, but I quickly learned she was manipulating me and ignored her cries when I was a teenager. My sympathy for her stopped aswell and funnily enough, so did her outbursts of tears. Every now and then she tried again and I would just shut down.
I've had to do psychological tests and all of them put me on the sociopath/psychopath scale. Very low bpd range and even npd qualities. Despite what you said about the damage a bpd mother can do to her child. I'm sure she did damage but I think I was able to shield most of it. My dad's your typical NPD and when he left my grandpa mostly took over. He was your classic stoic Alpha from the olden days. Maybe it rubbed off on me or perhaps I was a natural, but I never became a lackey to my abusive mother.
Everytime she tried I would retaliate to show her my boundaries. Equally when I ran into a bpd girl and started dating her I would also shut her down every time she tried to control me. I never let her and that's why we split after a short time.
Ah you're a chick
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
This reinforces the point. The child learns to behave a certain way to get his needs met and may become a surrogate daddy. This isn't always the case but common.
Sounds to me you are more healthier-minded about your boundaries.
I'm a male. Crying can be a healthy response in solitude to extreme emotional experiences. Don't do it in public. I'm in a position that you will never meet me. I haven't cried in years either. It was reinforcing a point.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
They said so, which is weird since I showed this instinct when I was about five or six. I might have picked up on it from my dad or grandpa. But still, I know guys with controlling mothers like me and they turned out completely different.
I've always been pretty self centered and unreliable on other people for emotional stability. So when my mother tried her emotional tricks on my like ignoring or causing drama, I simply outplayed her or shut her off until she calmed down.
My bad, I figured due to your name and that line that you were one of the female lurkers on this board. Personally I've been taught to never show weakness like that. So crying makes me uncomfortable. I'm also bad at comforting others due to this. I guess crying can be healthy if you need an emotional outlet.
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
Congrats. That's not always the case and you definitely came out better at the end.
LOL I can see that. For what it's worth, I tie no personal association with my identity and my online account usernames. It could have been "super dragon dildo" or "here2fckbitches" depending on the time of day, alignment of the planets, and my state of mind.
A lot men would agree with you. But men are people and human and should do whatever it takes to get over obstacles in life. I do agree never show weakness. But the reality is that we all feel weak sometimes. Let it pass and get over it. In retrospect I should have used another example. In fact, I updated it just now.
Mukato 7y ago
well shit. how can you fix it?
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
Dedicated therapy with a professional in the line of work regarding BPDs. Try to catch yourself having irrational responses (this is the hardest part because you are not aware of what's irrational). Most children of BPDs never get cured.
Mukato 7y ago
like a response to something and you think (why the fuck am i doing this? how does this make sense?) but yet you are doing it all the same?
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
You don't have those subconscious thoughts because, during the entire interactions, there are no red flags. That's the broken part of the man. He cannot see them. It seems normal. And if he does have a concerning thought, he is immediately shut down by the woman and he feels guilt/shame/confusion for himself and not about the woman. The Red Pill can help these men look for flags and help remind himself he is not the problem.
edit: to clarify. He is not being a problem. He may be broken and can avoid involvement in these future predicaments by working on himself but BPD men who are curing themselves need to understand they as a person are not a problem. Someone making them feel like they are would be the first sign of manipulation.
[deleted] 7y ago
Unless that person has dealt with the abuse the often accompanies being raised by a BPD parent. That person builds walls, learns to fight back and overcomes the tyranny of horrible parenting. Problem is later in life, those defense mechanisms are still there and are being applied in a counterproductive way to normal relationships. There's another thing to tackle in therapy.
postreformedpua 7y ago
I came here to see actual signs of BPD. But instead I found some weird Taylor Swift fan fiction.
ACTUAL SIGNS OF BPD
Evidence of self harm - Look on arms and legs for horizontal scars. BPD girls use self harm or 'suicide attempts' as the ultimate method for frame control. Often coupled with 'look what you made me do' or 'look how sorry / upset I am - I am the victim you can't be angry at me anymore'. AKA a nuclear shit test. One that would trigger empathy in even the most hardened player.
She has a history of experiencing rape or abuse - Especially if she mentions it very early into your interactions, maybe even before sex. Think of it as her doing you as huge favour and RUN. By having this talk she has put the frame for all sexual experience on to herself forever more. Do you want to find yourself saying 'do you feel safe' during sex? If not fucking RUN.
Has daddy issues - self explanatory.
Has fucked more men than a pornstar - Hard to find out unless she thinks you also have a lot of notches.
Crazily Sexual from the get go - We have all heard 'don't stick your dick in crazy' but we all know why it is hard to follow. They will send you a nude of themselves deep throating a live anaconda after the first coffee date. They are WILD and need no training. They will also get you killed.
There you are gents. If a girl has any of these qualities just put your dick away and make a hasty retreat or they'll have your balls sliced open before you can say "Debby is my sister! That is why I got her text at 2AM".
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Since Bpds uses sex to control their victims and keep men interested, how do they rack up a high N-count like some casual sex slut?
postreformedpua 7y ago
Their relationships aren't stable and they usually aren't with stable people so don't last long. They also enjoy sex as much as normal sluts so don't mind going on tinder to get exactly what they want. They don't always need a relationship and because they don't pair bond it is easy to do.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
From what I've seen allot of the more vulnerable BPs do need relationships. Their fear of abandonment compels them to not be alone. What you're hinting at is NPD and ASD girls.
Like you said, their relationships aren't stable so there's allot of collaterol damage and guys that fuck them in between. Though I wonder how they could fuck around without idealizing the guy that's banging them.
From experience BP's are very quick to mistake casual sex for deeper feelings. They don't pair bond but they sure as hell try to. Their frustration stems from their inablity to stay in love.
backtoroan 7y ago
Yup. OP, the taylor swift thing is weird.
psycrabbit 7y ago
You just destribed a girl I dated almost seriously. It's so informative to learn things like this even after the event. Thanks.
[deleted] 7y ago
another variation of the first is threatening self-harm (or even suicide) if you leave her / don't commit.
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[deleted] 7y ago
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postreformedpua 7y ago
Yes flattery I forgot about that one. They will learn what thing you are most insecure about and flatter you until you are no longer insecure about it. She will then - when you least expect it - use it against you to try and destroy you.
bigk12345 7y ago
So true.
On a first date, she bought me an outfit.
I didn't consider that flattery is what worked well at the beginning and them playing up to your values. But again, every woman does that too.
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
This advice is fantastic, it's definitely worth paying attention to all of these things. This post, however, is about identifying a Borderline Woman before you're close enough to learn these things about her.
I used Taylor Swift because she demonstrates the criteria so well, in both yours (using collected information) and mine (using visual cues).
It's good to cross-compare evidence, so here is some evidence using the criteria you've laid out here:
Self-harm: https://www.youtube.com/v/watch?v=tD1IPtYqpXg&start=66&end=147 (Pay specific attention to where she says "...and at first I would tell people it was a normal thing..." before continuing on with the story. Not hard evidence, but suspicious enough to be a red flag.)
Daddy issues: http://pagesix.com/2014/04/08/swifts-parents-are-difficult-and-controlling-her-career/
Fucked more men than a porn star: ✔️
I started investigating her due to a photograph that demonstrated an archetype that I was familiar with. I believe that there is something to visual identification, though I understand that not all people will benefit from it.
For those that aren't good with faces, the traditional criteria are still their best bet for staying safe. For those who are, this system could end up being a lot more effective.
JamesSkepp 7y ago
Self harm vid and quote, nothing BP there, she had an acciddent doing something.
Daddy issues, big MAYBE, since there is a high chance that it's the issues from parents (wan't a piece of the pie).
You derive this from some specific behaviour she does? EDIT: to be precise - what is the behaviour that the BP girl displays that says "slut" and is it a different behaviour fron non-BP "slut"?
There is a video in one of the links where she dances with the guy in question. There is nothing sexual in the way she is dancing. For a lack of a better explanation, look at where here "energy" or "attention" is focused. Not on the guy. This is not a "sexual mating dance", if anything she dances in a style I could call "stringing the betas a bit more". Seen this many times in nightclubs.
I admit, the gifs are amazning, but bare in mind she's a performer that she's basically expected to do things like this to create a show (contrasting emotions). I'm not saying she's not BP, I'm saying there is another explanation.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
From what I've learned BP women will end up with more men because their relationships are unstable. They also engage in revenge sex. Which only makes it worse.
I guess there's allot of self loathing going on with these hags. But I'm still undecided if that instantly constitutes a BP girl as a slut. The time I dated one I was sure she had fucked around but having had a four year relationship and being young still. I'd wonder how much she actually did.
Perhaps it gets worse with age
StotheGG 7y ago
I was at the tale end of my marriage. I got to know a girl who was absolutely beautiful. I'm talking so beautiful she could have been a Victoria Secret Model. Most attractive woman I've ever met. Incredible.
She was married. And I heard the story about how he was asexual. He had a disorder. He never fucked her. This guy was ugly as fuck, had a shitty job. Why they were together, by any objective measure, made no sense. Hell, he was fat and shorter than she was.
Anyway, I finally figured out a few things. 1) She was absolutely crazy. She made everything up, not only to me but to everyone around her. She was also with this guy because she could literally 'physically' dominate him. I'm certain he feared for his physical safety, as I'm sure she hit him besides acting like a fucking maniac. They had a daughter together and he was an incredible pushover. So, they will no doubt be married for life, unless she can find an absolutely 'sure' sucker like her husband, but with more resources, to replace him.
As someone else mentioned, here are some of the other traits.
Very sexual. This is particularly true if they are into porn. Bisexual women are far more likely to be BPD. There are reasons for this. One, BPD is often triggered by sexual abuse, so they have a more fluid sexuality and are more promiscuious as a result of this early abuse. Secondly, they actively use sex as a way to get and keep guys. They let you stick it in their ass, they like you to do rougher stuff than your typical girl, are willing to do threesomes, both because its tied to their abusive past and also because it makes them 'unique' to you.
Are very willing to change their belief structure or agree with you on topics, because as mentioned, they only mirror back what people say.
Also any woman who cuts herself. Fucking run. Shocking to see how many woman have cuts on their arms.
There is a long list that could be written and the only way to actually be able to avoid these women is to always value yourself more than he person you are with. So you leave, wether she's actually a damsel in distress or a manipulative bitch.
[deleted] 7y ago
My last ex was undiagnosed BPD. At the end, I had done enough research that I told her I thought she had it. Maybe it helped her, but I doubt it.
I've known a few others.
As you mentioned, their primary way to get attention is through their sexuality. So, par for the course, my ex did not have female friends to any degree (manipulative sexy shit doesn't work on straight women and other women don't want this tart around their boyfriends). Also, she flirted with all men without even knowing it and would make me and everyone else uncomfortable because she seemed to not know where the line was not to cross and how to act in a way that showed respect for the relationship (for instance, she would leave my side and go talk to men that she did not know for extended periods in a way that everyone found off putting and they would mention it to me). She was also bisexual (could use sex to snag some occasional female attention). She fucked like a demon and was very easy to bed initially. I broke up with her mid-relationship. When we got together to talk after 2 weeks apart, she insisted on taking me to her bed before we said a word. She knew it would soften me up and get me hooked again.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
They are basically never emotionally matured, less so than the average female. Bpds can be compared to 14 year olds emotionally. The neonatal facade they display is a first hand indicator your dealing with a bpd.
It stands to reason that these types of girls only know to control men with their sexuality. It's the easiest way for them to get what they want. You will read allot about how crazy bpds are in bed, this is because of the positive feedback loop. They become like this because men have reacted extremely positive to it.
bigk12345 7y ago
Thy are constant approval seekers .
They need constant attention and thrill.
Male approval is easy to get for a hot chick. They cover it up with the fact that they are "social".
My ex could not get along with girls, especially my girl friends. My girl friend pocket dialled me one time and BPD started freaking out, crying, told me about previous abortion and saying she was always by herself.
Mckallidon 7y ago
Yep. The BPD chick I was with was a pig. Smashed multiple times a day. Anal whenever. Would suck me off anywhere. While driving. In a park. Couldn't get enough. She wanted to fuck in front of people. I could pump 8 loads in her and she would beg for more. Threesomes. She sucked my cum out of another chick once. Was always trying to bring home other women young and old. We could fuck all the time and she still masturbated and watched porn. Into kink shit I couldn't even stomach. Liked being spit on and choked with a pillow case during sex, with my dick in her ass and a vibrator in her cunt. Asked for things that made me soft because of how crazy it was. Wanted me to bite her so hard she would bleed. Crazy shit. Would say the most fucked up shit during sex "beat me like a slave" and "rape me master". It took me years to even enjoy regular sex again. At 20 you think you've hit the jackpot until you realize how evil and nuts she really is.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Weird, from my experience they simply reflect what they think you like, both in and outside the bedroom. If she notices you like to go rough she will take it to a new level. If you're into outdoors sex, bam she's in. Nothing will take it to far for her as long as you don't leave her.
Personally when I dated this bpd girl the sex was generally normal. There were slivers and glances of her hidden experience but otherwise she really kept a lid. This was when she was deep into idealizing me and couldn't get enough. The problem was that she wasn't such a looker, kind of fat and this turned me off.
The girl picked up on that and held back sexually thinking I wasn't 'that kind of guy'. To this day I still think she believes this instead of the truth. Which was that she didn't arouse me.
Mckallidon 7y ago
I've heard that. Fact is she wanted these things and I was willing to provide. Obviously she learned this shit before me. This girl didn't lay it on at first. It was normal at first. And she was 3 years older Everything she suggested I had a positive response to lol. I'm a curious guy. I was 20 and needed to get seasoned like a wok. Overall she did me a lot of bad but man do I have confidence in the sack because of her.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
So how did she lay it on you?
StotheGG 7y ago
You did hit the jackpot. You didn't' get her pregnant. The only thing worst than being with a BPD woman is having her as the mother of your child.
Mckallidon 7y ago
Amen. Thank cruel Mother Nature for endometriosis so that bitch cannot contaminate the Earth.
[deleted] 7y ago
OP, you must like Taylor Swift a lot.
DoesNotMatterAnymore 7y ago
... but that's a story for an other time, Part II maybe?
Mckallidon 7y ago
Can confirm. Only woman who ever phased me was borderline as fuck. They're good at what they do. I knew most of TRP when people were still using AIM, having grown up always running with an older crowd, working in kitchens and construction sites. I always hung out with older men and grew up with a crazy mom and figured much out myself even without man wisdom.
They will get the best of us if we're not careful because they draw out our pure masculinity, and it feels good and powerful. And, because they will let you smash them as much as you want. It's a fucking trap. If you escape, broken or intact, without knocking her up, you will have seen the abyss within and without. And TRP will taste better than anything ever.
[deleted] 7y ago
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Mckallidon 7y ago
They suck all the man out of you until there's nothing left if you let them.
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TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
That's because Taylor Swift doesn't date black people.
JamesSkepp 7y ago
I have little idea about BP people, therefore cannot say if it is accurate description of the BP or not.
That being said, some of the behaviours in the gifs are just spot on. The acted out, overdone emotions are classic sign of manipulation. She conveying a message, not an emotion. You don't need to ACT emotions to show them.
By the gifs, one of my first ex-gfs was a Hermit. By the text description, she was a Queen.
This: http://imgur.com/gallery/ESCHs is a classic shit test. She pretends to be offended. Ignore it, she's attracted. I'm not saying this isn't (or is) a BP clue, might be, might be not. But, from experience, this IS as shit test.
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
The Archetypes are an abstract representation, and often occur in combination with one another due to the diffuse nature of the BPD. I chose that gif because it's a good example of what a Queen looks like when she has split black.
Now that you mention it though, I suppose it wouldn't preclude her from making a meal out of your dick.
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FriedMyBrain 7y ago
What experience exactly do you have with borderline disorder? Is this satire?
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
Excellent question! Allow me to explain the goals for this series.
This project is in response to a serious men's rights crisis which is disproportionately underappreciated by the public at large. The anecdotes shared by the men here on TRP stand as evidence of the massive destructive force of these women, but are brushed off or even laughed at by society at large.
Just on TRP alone, I can recall stories about broken/stolen possessions, damaged reputations, destroyed credit, divorce rape, intentionally sabotaged birth control, false rape accusations, domestic violence, threats of suicide (for attention), false litigation, the weaponization of children, the abuse of household animals, and other behaviors which can only be described as Intimate Terrorism.
TRP is familiar with the feminization of the western world. As this happens, the acceptability of feminine forms of violence will also increase. Therefore, it is essential that men learn how to quickly and efficiently identify potential sources of feminine violence.
The Borderline Woman is the single largest threat to men in this regard. There is a silver-lining though, as she is also the one waving the biggest red flags. Therefore Borderline Women are the perfect model by which to educate men on how to identify and avoid potentially abusive partners.
I simply believe that I've found a way to do it. It's my responsibility to share my insight with the TRP community.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
My only confusion with BPD women is their fabled sluttyness combined with their romantic admiration of their victims. Basically, how is it possible for a BPD to be a raging slut if she's constantly going through the idealization/devaluation stages.
This would suggest the only guy she's fucking at any given moment is the one she idealizes. Since they can't idealize more than one person at a time. If they find a new target they just devalue the latter.
So my lingering question is in what way are the able to rack up such a massive n-count. There are definite red flags that they are promiscuous but is there a component of their cycle we're missing on? Ie: while idealizing her perfect soulmate she always engages in casual sex with men.
It's easy for me to accept that normal alpha widowed/trashy women can became easy sluts because they lack the 'falling in love instantly' part which bpds excel at. To me though, bpds appear much more like naive young girls who just go through endless partners.
Whats the missing link here?
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
The missing link is that the idealization/devaluation stage can flip on and off like a light-switch.
The idealization stage will last the longest the first time it comes around, and she will try to convince you that you are the man of her dreams (as her delusion has temporarily convinced her as well).
Then you will make a mistake, and that will JUSTIFY (in her mind) her indulgence of her own insanity. Which more often than not includes fucking other men as revenge, since that's the worst thing that you could do to her.
It's the sadist's version of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Female solipsism taken to its extreme, because if she never unintentionally hurts people, then every instance where someone else "hurts" her must also be premeditated.
The best part is that she knows full well that her intention is to torture you (by her standards), but then she can suddenly and randomly re-idealize you, sometimes before Chad's even finished unloading in her ass. She might even come to orgasm off the "revelation" that she forgives you after all (i.e. she gets to simultaneously be the torturer and the martyr. She's devoid of sanity, so these things aren't mutually exclusive for her.)
She is essentially a young girl. A sadistic, hypersexual young girl who can still play pretend with a straight face and believe whatever she wants to believe to make herself feel good.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
I found that it's highly reliant on external factors like what kind of men she's meeting or how her personal life is shaping up. Devaluation is triggered by you (the victim) but re-idealization only happens if she needs something again or is desperate.
That's fucked up but a solid point. So you're saying allot of a bpds n-count is simply collateral damage where she fucks away her pain.
Actually, the worst you can do to a woman is commit to another woman and give that woman more commitment than you gave her. It's the female version of finding out your girlfriend had more extreme sex with some other guy while all you got was starfish.
This part didn't make much sense to me. As far as I know she can only idealize one person and that's the person that gets her unconditional endless fucks. Bpds do deliberately torture and attack those they perceive have hurt them (which is everybody). Also I've not observed Bpds end up with Chad. Higher value men, possibly. But a real Alpha doesn't even make it past their first 'test'.
Also idealization is never random I think, it's always based on some situational thing that then interacts with her cognitive processes. This might appear random but is always triggered. A good example would be some pop song that makes her remember you. She starts listening to it, begins the fantasy a new and suddenly your the hero again. Because in her mind you always have to fit the narrative.
I'm still not decided on if their promiscuity is the result of constant fluctuation in who she idealizes or if she approaches sex seperatly from romantic commitment. This ofcourse would be the ultimate low value indicator. Like a beta approaching commitment seperatly from sex would.
There also rarely no overlap in these idealization cycles. She can't stand the eternal silence of being alone and so she always needs someone around. If she's come to hate her current boyfriend she will still keep him around and let him fuck her until she finds someone new.
Your theory about revenge sex appears to only possible option since I don't think they are even capable of being attracted to multiple men at once (without the lowest one being devalued).
jeff1328 7y ago
This is gold. If anyone reading this hasn't experienced a BP succubus please bookmark this post lol.
Globetrotta 7y ago
My Iranian ex-wife is a BPD "queen" and I second this assessment.
badrowbot 7y ago
My ex wife is Persian as well. Identical story.
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PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Bpds are nothing like normal women. You won't understand unless you've experienced it. Even if you think you know bpd women, you won't know unless you've been targeted and idealized.
StotheGG 7y ago
If you think a BPD is just a 'female' you ain't never meant a BPD woman. Consider yourself lucky, but you are mistaken. They are a class apart, expressing female traits, yes, but in such a heightened form.
_the_shape_ 7y ago
Will second this.
There's "ah, typical woman! ::shrug:: lol", and then there's BPD.
Based on their actions alone, they are as close to (if not exactly what constitutes) "evil" in the malicious, out-to-destroy sense. They're batshit crazy, truly frightening. If (and I mean this is an enormous if here) you have a deep suspicion that a girl happens to be one, absolutely cross them off your list of girls you want to fuck, but they will fuck you harder than you ever dreamed of (both in a sexual and life-ruining way).
No question about it, BPD is the worst of the worst. These are the kind of individuals that get you to say things like "holy shit, how could someone do that to another person?" - that's how far they're capable of taking it.
I dealt with one years back, and it's easy for me to say that I didn't know better, but truth is I very well might have mistaken that same girl today for a genuinely shy, introverted girl next door type (i.e. her mask). She blew her cover way too early into our fling for me to stick around long enough for her to really sink her fangs in, but I'll never forget the experience.
hibloodstevia 7y ago
You are an idiot. She is in show business and people inside her inner circle are the only people who would know what is part of her image and what is her personality coming out.
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
Borderlines by default only have an image. There is no personality there.
That's what made collecting the archetype pictures so easy.
Mckallidon 7y ago
Yep. They're feminine psychopaths. Pure abyss wearing a mask.
[deleted] 7y ago
Would be awesome if someone put a bullet through Taylor Swifts little skeezer head.
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friendlysociopathic 7y ago
This is a really shit summary of two books on borderline personality disorder accompanied by pictures of Taylor Swift.
Fuck off Calvin Harris. We see right through you here.
Dustin_Bromain 7y ago
Any woman who displays these characteristics should be put down like a rabid dog; by firing squad, preferably.
Mckallidon 7y ago
Nope. Smash profusely. Then change your number and address.
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[deleted] 7y ago
I believe the key to recognizing unhealthy psychological problems in anyone is to be very present and very critical of their actions and emotions. If ever they do or say something that doesn't fit a 'normal' response, recognize it! Those are little snippets of the real person behind the mask.
bigk12345 7y ago
Don't ignore the redflags.
Trust your gut.
[deleted] 7y ago
From my experience, my gut feeling can be over ridden by my emotional attachment to a girl. If I'm honest with myself and judge her objectively, that's when good decisions are made.
bigk12345 7y ago
Your gut feeling is what is tipping you off in order to think about it objectively in a first place .
Mckallidon 7y ago
They slip on accident sometimes, but they also slip on purpose to feel powerful. When they can give you clues as to how fucked up they are and you have no reaction because you're clueless, they get off on it. Even more when you have a response and are trying to hide it.
Trump_will_win_2016 7y ago
This is a bunch of fucking bullshit and Taylor Swift pictures.
[deleted] 7y ago
Bro this post is long and it has formatting so it is a quality post.
JackGetsIt 7y ago
This is an excellent video as well for identifying BPD types before they get their hooks in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iihsbrwqZLU
TheGarbageCollector 7y ago
Thank you for showing me this. This man is amazing.
"Life with a Borderline is a BITCH!"
aanarchist 7y ago
even better, become an alpha man with untouchable frame who can make a bpd or bipolar woman make the conscious decision to control herself. she's had enablers all her life, all you have to do is break the cycle for her and she will love you forever.
Mckallidon 7y ago
You have no clue what you're talking about. It's not possible. It's basic fucking neurology. They're feminine psychopaths. Go fall into one and find out yourself. Good luck kid.
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Markley628 7y ago
Bipolar disorder is not psychopathy at all that's very ignorant, also no you can't just make them think correctly, someone with bipolar disorder needs treatment from a psychiatrist and therapist, it has nothing to do with enablers.
Mckallidon 7y ago
We are talking about borderline personality disorder dumbtard. Not bipolar. All therapy does, if they ever even do it, which they rarely do, is provide a game for them to hone their skills while masking their behavior better.
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Mckallidon 7y ago
Lol Borderlines do not "get better" with therapy you buffoon.
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[deleted] 7y ago
I'm so glad there are so many other men that understand what they're like
Mckallidon 7y ago
Too bad we have learned the hard way. But, it does make you appreciate the normal women that other guys think are crazy because they don't know any better.