This was my first post on TRP, and has been my most popular; almost 2 years later it still brings comments and questions. I've updated and revised it a bit for the current generation of TRP readers on EC weekend, enjoy!
I'm 49, and unlike my Brother and Sister, never been married. My family, especially Mom and Grandma, feel sorry for me and many think I've missed out in life without marriage and children; they would be quite wrong. Through having several relationships running concurrently, I feel a satisfaction as though I've lived several lifetimes in one. Instead of feeling like I've missed out as I face the waning decade of mens' sexuality, it's like being Lazarus Long and having a 192-year lifespan to look back upon. I will go to a happy grave.
My preference is LTRS; I've never been married or with a married person, but I find keeping more enjoyable and expedient than getting. Not everyone on TRP seeks this type of relationship, and I'm not an authority on everyone's multi-relationship methods, but I hope this decadal field report of my trials and errors helps to build the body of knowledge about applying TRP methods to managing multiple relationships.
Types of relationship
Not all simultaneous relationships are created equal! I've found across several turnovers of relationship groups, things tend to fall naturally into a semi-orderly pattern. When everyone is satisfied within their role in the giant web, they are likely to work toward keeping their role stable by not making waves they know will ripple to the others and cause trouble. Understanding these roles thoroughly, and treating/keeping everyone within the bounds and expectations of their positions can help you get managing multiple relationships at once down to an efficient system. Maintaining a strong, orderly hierarchy helps you prevent conflicts, and especially helps manage them if a crisis develops.
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The Main or Primary Always an LTR, this is the "official girlfriend" as far as your family is concerned, and the one who gets first priority at all the big holidays. If she comes from outside the plate network she is not informed of it. Sometimes a plate is promoted to main; they understand the situation and desire the position anyway. There is an unspoken agreement that the main will be shielded from all signs of extracurricular activity. There is also sexual meritocracy to my system; the main has first priority to sex, and plate activity falls off as far as 100% according to how well she keeps my balls empty. Even when this position is filled by a promoted plate fully aware of your sexual ways, the Main is #1 priority for sex, and she's tacitly considered exclusive. Plates get busy in bed thanks to soft dread, and I strive to keep them content in and out of bed myself. If another plate intrudes, the main is 100% defended and supported.
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Side Girlfriend or Secondary A favorite plate with whom you share an emotional connection and a full "girlfriend experience" while together- yet you're both able to turn it on and off like a switch between visits. Often someone in an LTR of their own or holding out for one, not a CC rider. Sometimes, side girlfriend status is a placeholder position for the new main when the current one attrits sooner or later, whether openly between you or implicitly. However, a main will seldom move directly to side girlfriend status, though a shut-down and reset through plate status again can be a successful path for this.
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Plate or Playmate A woman who is knowingly having sex with you on the side, for the sake of the sex only, with little to no emotional or resource input from you. Likely to be dating other men in succession, often not in LTR of their own. This requires the least input from you initially, so when everything goes smoothly it seems like the only way to go. Unfortunately, this is the most volatile type of side relationship, most likely to result in drama that spills over into your other relationships, from stalking, public blowups or confrontations, or expectations, and with the weakest bond they are more likely to bring STDs into the picture. Free plates often take more energy to get, keep, and replace in the big picture, when your goal is an ongoing, hassle free collection of women. If frequent new pussy is your goal, you must recognize and accept the risk it brings to you and your other current lovers.
- Mistress For men of means only; spending your own grocery money on a side woman is foolish, and outspending your main here is a dick move. A relationship involving open support of a woman in exchange for sex, whether cash, groceries, rent, or shopping. This might be a woman you have a love child with, a higher SMV woman than you could pull for free on an open "side" basis. For example a college student for an older man or a desirable woman with more than one longterm "patron"; or a favorite plate fallen on hard times with whom you negotiate better sex (demand,frequency,variety, exclusivity) in exchange for a period of support; sometimes you just find a great value and pride in bettering the life of someone who you're regularly intimate with. Beware of cognitive and emotional traps and wallow in it, if this brings you joy and possibly peace with your sex. Mistresses might get second dibs on major holidays, often the weekend before or after with your main, but this class of relationship has an explicit understanding that it is subordinate to the main, and she accepts this position without fuss or complaint as part of the financial deal. Least likely to incite damage to your main relationship.
How it began
After a blue pill early love life with serial oneitis relationships that bloom, stagnate, and die over time in a pattern familiar to many here, I raised my SMV and hit a stride with women by my 30s. A "crime of opportunity" occurred when somebody really wanted to be with me knowing I was in an LTR. It hit me, I could parallel process several relationships at a time, staggered at different stages. This both quickly filled whatever I felt I had missed out on when younger, and effectively sped up the throughputting of women through my love life in search of that ever-elusive unicorn, without necessarily speeding up or rushing the relationship process. Why have just one 4-year relationship when you can have that plus a couple of other relationships spanning 6 months-3 years during the same 4 years, plus a meta-lover occasionally from years before through years after?
My earliest experiences were straight-up branch swinging and cheating; this was before the WWW and I was winging it. If I could do it again I would study up on polyamory and go straight to consensual multiple relationships.
Relationship tracks
Long-term side relationships don't necessarily have a beginning, middle, and end like a regular relationship. The most durable and hassle free ones I've known were mutually able/willing to dial it up/down/on/off repeatedly over time, as other relationships wax and wane in our respective lives. Some womens' tracks spanned over a decade and the reign of several mains/others. Others ran their various courses and ended in one run. A couple came back for seconds or more, out of the blue years later. The important thing was, each ran at its own pace and opportunity, but by running concurrently, it amounted to many decades' worth of relationships for me over the course of the past 20 years.
Disadvantages of multiple lovers
It's not all parties and pussy without cost. Most men aren't natural pussy magnets with a constant stream of free groupies available. The average man must work to some extent for even "free" pussy, and multiple relationships bring compound and additional costs to the love game.
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Division of time/resources Multiple relationships are inevitably a zero sum game. Time and resources given to one are necessarily taken from the others. It's not a simple math problem; you must manage jealousy, priority, meritocracy, and more than just a calendar. The more serious your main becomes, the more you'll wrestle with the ethics of it all. You may wonder if X relationship would have flourished after all with 100% of your attention. These are some of the gigantic trade offs of this lifestyle.
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Occasional extinction-level events You might get a psycho-stalker who literally goes pounding on all of your other current women's doors, or someone who rallies one or more of the other women against you in a sudden coup. The happy, abundant life can hum along just fine for a long time, then suddenly go 100% into the shitter overnight. Effort spent managing everyone's expectations, keeping their needs filled, and avoiding unnecessarily hurt feelings in maintaining and ending individual relationships keeps problems from spreading to others; this is where your strong hierarchy becomes most important.
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Awkward moments When one lover sees another out with another in public; sometimes it can be played off, sometimes you're ducking back out the restaurant door or down a side alley, fortunate if the woman you're suddenly frog-marching a new direction plays along without fuss and raising attention. Having four of your current lovers manage to converge in the same room together by chance; one unaware, some knowing of others, none knowing all- now THERE is a dynamic to test your mettle! Then there was the time a low-tier plate showed up at my work with a dozen roses, and I had to fast-talk her out one door as the long-time heir-apparent to my main position walked in the other for our first official date as an LTR... and was slickly presented with a "surprise" of the roses and became an important part of my life for 10+ years after that... but 10 seconds sooner that night would have changed the course of our lives that 10 years!
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Overall lack of spare time You might find your other life activities, relationships, and hobbies limited by the sheer amount of TIME you spend managing multiple relationships. Accept that women are one of your hobbies and be at peace with it. Incorporating your outside interests with your plates can help with this; for instance, keeping my motorsports hobby alive for years AND taking different eager families on excursions many weekends per season. I follow my passion to my own fulfillment, many others get to share the fun without getting burned out- sometimes you can spread disparities of interest into a win-win for yourself and all parties.
- Holidays Oh fuck, Holidays! Manage everyone's expectations in advance to prevent blowups. For those you celebrate with, calendar them carefully, keep your promises, and remember the strength and efficiency of the intermittent reward schedule here. Instead of approaching holidays with a sense of dread, gloom, and botched relations through mismanagement, accept them as a challenge to spread as much happiness as you can with efficiency of effort like a love superhero. It's worth the logistical difficulty; holiday time spent together is X20 power comfort/fulfillment juice to women, invest now in those you would like to keep around all year.
Advantages to a man
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Variety Instead of being married to one woman, I've experienced a tremendous variety. Races, classes, cultures, traditions, relationship styles, power structures or lack of, intergender dynamics, traditional, alternative, tall, short, thicker, thinner, PhDs to high school dropouts. I've been able to taste so much variety in my time. I had a girlfriend older than I am now when I was 30, and dated someone less than half my age in my upper 40s.
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Hello, Abundance Mentality! I used to always feel like I was missing or misunderstanding something about the whole mating game; palpably uncomfortable without a relationship, somehow unfulfilled within one. Once I experienced having sex and maintaining relationships with more than one woman at the same time, everything clicked for me. Gone the Oneitis, the blue pill neediness and overarching fear of losing a particular relationship steering me to regrettable decisions. While this may sound selfish and nihilistic, actualized abundance mentality totally improved the quality and performance of my relationships, for all parties.
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No downtime Having parallel running options at all times pretty much eliminates the cycle time of breakup/gloom/recovery/getting out there again finally. There was a dozen-year run where I was single for a total of 2 weeks.
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Positive experience with multiple kids Not all mothers want you involved with their kids, and these make damn good long-term, low effort plates. For those that do, it is an opportunity for an interested man to enjoy many of the benefits and peak experiences of having over a dozen children, with minimal downside exposure. First days of school, graduations, birthdays, quinceaneras, sweet 16s, first dates, weddings, grandchildren. I've taught many city kids how to ride a bike, hit a baseball, build a good campfire, ride a dirtbike, shoot a pellet gun, recognize and navigate by the constellations, leave the place better than we found it, defend themselves, confront a bully, drive a stick, choose and buy a car, check and fill the fluids, and get a first apartment and eventually, house. I've been a part of the support structure as they meet, keep, and eventually get over a first lover, choose a college, start a career and family.
Critics might suggest it was bad of me to be involved because the relationships weren't permanent, and breaking up with the mother amounted to breaking up with the kids. While there is some truth to this, I've always strongly believed that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved. Time has confirmed in most cases where I have long-term feedback on the outcomes: Most of the women in question never went on to enter a lifetime bond with one man. Second and most important, all of the kids that I've had contact with as adults said that our experiences together were some of the most memorable and positive of their childhood, and they are appreciative of my involvement. -
Staggered cycles Women in close contact usually sync their menstrual cycles; plates who never see each other don't, so during any given week at least one woman in your life is out of commission and one is at her horniest. The downside is you'll have to mark your calendar or run an app to keep track of when everyone's ovulating; mnemonics like the moon are too easy to mix up in your head when two or more women are at play.
- Peak experiences A few short years after my dry Blue Pill phase of serial relationship bummers, I was filling my own sexual Guiness Black Book of Personal Records. How many girlfriends can you have at once? Five! What's the shortest time to have sex with them all? 36 hours! How long can you keep all that going? Not very. What's the most girlfriends you break up with in a day? Two, unimaginable to my old BP oneitis-riddled self. In the end, quality proved better than quantity. Managing large numbers was a thrill at first, but sometimes you're literally speeding from woman to woman and the abundance can become a burden quickly. For the long haul, it's much easier to keep 2-3 satisfied and on cruise control, than to maintain the record breaking numbers of your love life for very long.
Advantages to the women
Critics are no doubt fuming- HOW could you so selfishly take ADVANTAGE of all these women? I thought I'd mention some of what should be obvious advantages to the women, for their sake.
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Abundance is a two way street Many women are quite happy to maintain a steady non-exclusive partner for the same reasons as men. Having a good plan B man available part time is quite empowering- women who had a pattern of developing oneitis for jerks found this helped them break this cycle finally, as one firsthand example I've seen. Variety and a little social risk is exciting. I've never had to persuade a side plate or girlfriend to enter or remain in an openly secondary position.
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Filling in the gaps like a smorgasbord Not every person can be 100% of what another needs in a partner over the long haul. That doesn't always mean you must end things with a mostly quality partner you've developed a good companionate relationship and public life with. Having those certain needs filled elsewhere can actually strengthen the position of your main partner, though you're extremely unlikely to sell her on this point right after she discovers the situation by surprise! Your main might be an excellent companion, partner, co-parent, or whatever durable reasons for keeping but unchangeably passive and conventional in bed. An occasional visit to the adventurous tattooed chick and the butterface with the exquisite ass that loves to grind into you, and your main need never feel unwanted pressure to overperform or be replaced entirely. I can say with firsthand certainty- the right amount of variety on the side can make a main LTR MORE healthy.
- Familiarity and safety One-night stands are much riskier for women, both physically and emotionally. Having a regular lover even on a part-time shared basis allows a sufficient connection to exist, and reduces the stigma of sleeping around, in her own eyes and others'.
Summary
As an LTR minded man who rejected marriage and found serial monogamy frustratingly slow of a throughput for the time my life span offers, I found a love life niche in running several LTRs in parallel. There have been many costs and challenges and some mistakes and regrets, but looking back over the last 20 years, it's as though I lived several lifetimes in that period. In a world where marriage has been corrupted into a bad deal, this is one method for experiencing many of the good aspects of human pair bonding, as well as a satisfying variety, all within one lifetime. ^^Edit-Typos
SexdictatorLucifer 7y ago
Best post I've ever read here. As always, the "best post" is always determined by applicability. You just brought order to my life. I've been living it without knowing what I was doing. For example, I've been giving my main the type of respect you describe and it's been making me feel weird. Not because I don't think she deserves it, but because I've felt like she needed to be more "even" with the others. Now I know it's completely fine. The totem pole, the meritocracy, is absolutely vital. I've been fighting the natural way of it and I'm not sure why. The way you describe it is so natural. It's easy to try to control things and control your women. I'm now convinced through this post and experience that rolling with it is the best way, and in the end, is letting your natural frame determine how things unfold.
Askada 7y ago
Inspiring. You lived a life I would like to live, and I'm going to live. It's empowering to hear someone succeeded with that.
From my experience it takes a lot of effort to manage more than 2 women at a time, and free time certainly can be an issue, let alone solid frame.
That's definitely something I will gladly read again sometime.
Noolaw 7y ago
You just posted the much needed LTR plate theory for all of us. LTR lovers.
CptDefB 7y ago
I've never PM'd you about it, but I'll take this opportunity on Canadian Thanksgiving to tell you that this post changed my life. It helped bring me to a place of acceptance with women, and on some level, made them exciting again.
I now keep a main dish, a side dish, and rotating appetizers. They all know about each other, have "Fuck Yes" shining behind their eyes, pay for shit when we're out, gifts unexpectedly, respect my private time, submit to my dominance in bed and life... I was blown away that women could be this good, when you set the terms and stick to them even when their emotions try to rewrite the contract. BP me never understood that I could have it this good, by putting myself first every step of the way.
I have TRP to thank for helping to draw the territories of life, but I have this post to thank specifically, for helping me draw the map for my future with women. This life has also confirmed for me what /u/adderalabuse posted today. One day I will be a man of means, and will have 18-22 year old mistresses exclusively occupying my 3rd tier. Thank you.
Keep reposting this.
Cheers, bruh.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Thanks for the feedback, brother. This is an unvarnished report of how this type of life played out, warts and all. Let us all be clear that it was YOU who went out and took all the steps to actualize it in your own life. Good work, and the future is bright indeed.
Don't be surprised if you find your tastes and priorities changing over time. According to Maslow, as various internal needs and drives are satisfied and satiated, you will reach for ever loftier goals. For me, this resulted in cultivating a lower amount of higher quality connections over time. Some will follow a path of less connection and more quantity, others will get their fill of variety and settle into marriage and family.
One of the main lessons of TRP is to throw off the expectations of others and society, and live the life you want to live. Choose your path, and OWN it, Men!
schifosa80 7y ago
No one who spends life manipulating others/paranoid of being manipuleted is a secure happy person, for sure!
dingman58 7y ago
Excellent post. Thanks for sharing your wisdom
Yashugan00 7y ago
Thank you for posting your experience
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[deleted] 7y ago
3 plates is the magic number.
Make a PoF account, work it like a mexican for the first 3 days when you're at the top of the listings.
Get all the numbers you can, then weed out the drama bitches and the porkers.
3 is your magic number. 2 means you have to care about losing a bitch, and only having 1 bitch means she owns your dick. Try to keep a bitch or two wanting to be put in rotation so you can replace quick if you have to take an L.
They are called plates because you only have to give them a little shove now and again (some dick once a week) to keep them balanced on your pole.
If you are any sort of a Chad (IDGAF tall white fit attractive) expect to lose plates quick. They get that itis and you have to drop them. This is actually a problem you want to have.
RenaissanceMan79 7y ago
This is exactly how to play it. 3 plates that you see about once a week, 4 nights a week for yourself. Call them Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, LOL. Then when one plate falls, you've still got 2, you don't have to be in a rush to find a new one. I'm not there yet, but this is what I hope to achieve and maintain for shit, the next decade.
chiefbl 7y ago
These kind of field reports and comments has taught me more on life than anything else has (including my parents). Knowing thyself and with some visualization exercise, you start to imagine how you would want your life to look like down the road. When I first joined TRP 6 months ago, all I was looking forward to was being able to spin 5+ plates at a time for the rest of my life; Did I mention fuck marriage? Now I am steering towards, still spinning plate yes, but I am starting to realise I would actually like to marry one day (again, with the right intentions this time of course) for many reasons. However, this is definitely not my last decision as I am only 18. Life is ever changing, and that is why I appreciate life a lot more now.
Grateful for these posts and comments, showing different outcomes of life.
trippinallday 7y ago
If you ever do get married, don't get a marriage license and stay out of common-law states. It's all the potential benefits of marriage without being raped at the end of it. If you or she calls it quits, provided you've kept your assets separate, you're just done. No divorce bullshit, no alimony, no 50-50 split.
JamesSkepp 7y ago
Really good post. I mean the level of game and the frame you have must be incredible.
Did you ever tried to setup a threesome (or did you expect this question won't perk up :D, but it's also has a follow up queston)?
How would one start doing something similar? Does this require a "fresh" primary LTR that comes into it with the unspoken knowledge that she knows what you're doing OR can you do it with the current exclusive LTR?
How do you handle the "awkward moments"? Does it always have to be played as "open secret"? Say 3 of you meet by coincidence, you do a polite smalltalk and the "intruding one" plays along and leaves? IOW do you have a canned "routine" to handle this type of situation or is it situational each time?
How would you approach two "Primaries and you" LTR? Is this even posssible? Would it require for them to be at least bi-curious to attempt something like this or is this pure fantasy due to openly conflicting with the "need for an exclusivity, at least pretended one" and most likely unavoidable social consequences they wouln't be able to handle or accept?
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
No, I haven't tried to set up a threesome. Most of these relationships thrive in a don't ask, don't tell environment; they may be aware that others exist, but as long as it isn't "in their face" they will let ambiguities slide. I also take care not to allow them to bump into each other with me, and the few times it's happened everybody played happily ignorant in order to not make a scene.
You tend to see a two-woman triad (or n>2 harem) with the very highest value men, and even there it is rarely flaunted publicly in American culture. Polyamorous triads exist; a lot of the time they're more of a dyad with a third wheel in practice. The third wheel sometimes turns out to be the guy, so be careful what you wish for when it comes to threesomes.
This is the best way to do it, logistically the simplest and ethically the less troublesome. The Red Pill is amoral, but that doesn't mean you don't have your individual standards and limits; everybody does and we function best when we own them.
Nergaal 7y ago
Of curiosity, how many biological kids you got?
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Zero biological kids. Since I was a teen, I recognized the world as overcrowded and myself as too selfish to want to have a kid, plus I don't adore babies and toddlers. Nonetheless, when I became a step-father figure (to older teens) it was one of the most fulfilling times of my life, and also the hardest breakup eventually, though I'm happy the kids are still in occasional contact with me at 30.
_eskimo_brothers_ 7y ago
Do you have a vasectomy? Curious on your views on it. I share the same view about children.
Grade A post, I've thought about this a lot too. There are some girls out there that aren't a fan of that sort of lifestyle. "A girl will share a real alpha", says the masses here but I don't think that's always true. I had a plate that I had a threesome with, and she was very eager to please and she would have no doubt be fine with being one of the girls, it was a don't ask - don't tell sort of understanding. She was so smitten she wanted to pick up girls for me. I spun plates for nearly a year after a very long relationship ended - there were no exclusive talks but the want in their eyes was there. I enjoyed it very much, then I faded out from a few of their lives as I got busy with other things. It became easier to just focus on one relationship for the current time - which leads to the current girlfriend.
I do believe in the multiple gf approach still, but in most social circles it's not accepted. I would never blatantly advertise that I have multiple in most cases as I keep my relationships private and everyone I know, knows this but I do wonder where my next chapter leads. The current main would not be open for this - the jokes about poly relationships to gauge the feelings about the subject are a clear indication of this. While the companionship is great, the ability to take trips together is great, and the sex is great - which really all adds up to everything I want. I joke to some that I'm an emotionless robot. I'm not going to dwell on it when it ends. Our time is limited, the only thing we can control is how we react to situations - and I'm not going to spend a second longer than needed being upset. Abundance mentality is a great thing. As is a more Buddhist outlook. I'm not going to be crushed like the blue days when a relationship ends, but I'm not out to intentionally hurt anyone either.
Leave them better off if you can is still something I like to think is possible. I've already stated to the girlfriend I really don't think I want kids, and I know that she does someday. This is a pressure point I can see years ahead causing a break - she knows where I stand, but that won't and shouldn't change her mind. Never be the cause of a regret and all that. Most of her friends, our shared social circle, etc are having kids. While she is younger than I - that imposing clock is ticking down to being 30 someday and wanting children.
DisgustingIndividual 7y ago
Fuck the vasectomy. The male version of 'the pill' is being released next year I believe. Except it's an injection that works for 10 years at a time (and can be reversed).
_eskimo_brothers_ 7y ago
I'm well aware of vasagel, and I likely will have it done, just curious on OP's decision.
[deleted] 7y ago
While I think this can be an interesting experience, I would never engage in this sort of behavior simply due to the time demands.
Ultimately, women compliment my life, which focuses primarily on a serious and time-consuming career. My career is my LTR and my main plate. My LTRs, FWBs, and plates all exist to supplement my life, and I need the freedom to spur them aside at a moments notice if my career starts to lag or suffer because of them.
If this lifestyle looks appealing to anyone, this is a good guide, but this is where choice and preference comes into play. Personally, I could never spend this much time on women. Personally, I love emotional connections, but I still maintain that the ideal amount of time and energy spent on women is just barely enough to get sex whenever you want it. Any more would have to be because I want emotional investment and I know it won't affect other aspects of my life.
whatsthisgarg 7y ago
forgive the pedantry, but it's complement
I think details are important
[deleted] 7y ago
Finding discreet, young, tight bodied lovers has single-handedly saved my marriage.
Your write-up is excellent. Thank you for your post.
purplecabbage 7y ago
Would love to hear how you managed this with the wife. PM me if you please.
advancedatheist 7y ago
Also consider combinatorics as an experience multiplier. If you have six girlfriends and bed them only one at at time, you can have only six kinds of experiences with them. But take them to bed two at a time for threesomes, and you can have 15 possible combinations out of the six women.
DirtyProject0r 7y ago
This is fucking gold.
For the first time ever I am currently spinning two plates currently and the biggest disadvantage I would say is definitely the lack of spare time. I want to work on university, lift, hang out with my friends AND fuck both of these girls. I hardly have any spare time anymore so am planning to tone the commitment for both of them down a bit to get more free time to spend with my friends and most importantly on myself. Me first, they second.
E: Forgot to say this is a well-written post. I like the fact that it is not against the idea of becoming emotionally connected with any of the women you are plating. I have found that it has truly enhances my relationships with these women, while holding frame of course (that means they are never becoming my LTR).
[deleted] 7y ago
As a man from your generation, I can relate to everything you have said. I have been married before, so having been on both sides of the coin, I can tell you this for certain - your way is superior. No question. You seem settled into this, so you do not need my validation here. But just in case you ever have a doubt, trust your path. It is the better way to go by far.
shonthered 7y ago
Great post I must say. You gave a detailed explanation of your relationship philosophy (and strategy) which enables us (readers) to objectively analize pros and cons of said philosophy.
I was just wondering though, what do you do for living, or more generally, what kind of a lifestyle do you lead which allows you the time for multiple relationships?
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
I own my own business in the blue collar/industrial sector. It takes a lot of my time, and is part of the reason I didn't choose the path of marriage/family, because I would make a shitty husband and father being such a workaholic. Come to think of it, the only complaints about my "other girlfriend" taking up all my time have been directed at my BUSINESS.
In true overambitious ADHD fashion, I tend to have several unfinished projects and grand plans going slowly or sideways when relationships are active. When some or all of them drop in the Milankovitch Cycles of Love, there's no distress; I just end up getting a lot of stuff done and caught up.
Bigtimer88 7y ago
Loved this post, but I have one question for you regarding what you said about Polyamory. You said that if you could do it all over you'd read up on polyamory and do things that way. What I'd like to know is why you feel that way; To me polyamory implies that your women will also be banging other men, which in my mind is a negative.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
What I meant was, I wish I had access to the body of knowledge available from people who had lived it before me. Starting before the WWW, I had to figure things out for myself as I blundered along, sometimes making regrettable mistakes. Today, you have a wealth of information available, so people interested in nonmonogamous relationships can start and maintain them using tried and true rules and boundaries.
Aaah yes, this always comes up. The higher the relationship position, the more monogamous the relationships are presumed to be, but when it comes to the lowest-tier plates, with the least commitment and input from you, you have to be honest. You're not the only guy they're seeing. I've found it best to make peace with this in a mutual don't ask, don't tell manner. Others insist on monogamy in their partners, this is possible but more "costly" to obtain and keep in the sexual marketplace.
Gawernator 7y ago
Outstanding post, thanks for sharing your life
aanarchist 7y ago
you make plates sound like a complete waste of time.
TrumpSEXYMAN 7y ago
the death of the White race. Unfortunately the Red Pill also promotes killing one's own people
angryguy4444 7y ago
We care only about ourselves.
purplecabbage 7y ago
As a man in his 40's struggling with a zombie marriage, this post both inspires and humbles me. I'm inspired by what is possible going forward if I put the effort into it. At the same time I am humbled by what I missed out on earlier in life. Well done! Great post.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
I love that proverb that goes:
The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The next best time to plant a tree is right now!
Take it from me, 40s is not the end of the road; you have lots of great man-years still ahead of you.
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[deleted] 7y ago
This is shaming at its finest
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[deleted] 7y ago
This is how insidious feminized conditioning can be. This jerkoff believes he is merely observing yet he doesnt grasp that his idea of worthy goals and lifestyle must benefit women or it "gets old"
Man up! Grow up!. How dare you have happiness without providing for women
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[deleted] 7y ago
I wont keep up. I dont have to.
This isnt a debate sub. You cant shame men into violating rule zero. And you cant insult ECs
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PaperStreetVilla 7y ago
rule 0. Debate at PPD. OP has been removed for being useless
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