I'm pretty sure my XGF had BPD and she fuuuuccckkked my entire life up when I broke up with her.

First she falsely accused me of domestic violence and child abuse, being addicted to multiple drugs, and an alcoholic. Intentionally filed a protection order with no proof to prevent me from having a relationship with our daughter.

She used family courts and kept requesting supervised visitation and another protection order to prevent me from having a quality relationship with our daughter for a few more years. Of course family courts sided with her and even had the fuckin' audacity to blame ME as the problem, despite me having solid evidence of her ways.

To add insult to injury, she quickly moved on, moved her rebound into our home, got engaged, and encouraged our daughter to call him Dad/Daddy.

I was a good guy, provided financially, was a good father, paid for her tuition (which she ended up dropping a class she already passed...), was only a semester from receiving a degree and the bitch just hit the self fucking destruct button on our life. No fucking remorse whatsoever, she gave no fucks about how bad she fucked me.

In true SJW fashion, everyone told her how great of a mother she was, how strong she was, etc. etc. all that other fuckin' bullshit.

We're not all shitty people though /: I understand that a lot of us can be abusive, not want to get help, etc. but that isn't everyone, and individual cases tend to vary drastically. I, for one, desperately want to get help (I just want to be okay SO badly) and am highly aware and careful of how I treat the people around me. I understand that you had an extremely unpleasant experience, and I'm really sorry you had to go through that, but it's pretty hurtful to assume that everyone who engages with us immediately becomes an abuse victim. A lot of us tend to be extremely empathetic, too, but that often gets overlooked because people are just too wrapped up in demonizing us. I know all the stereotypes and where they come from but please don't generalize.

Had an NPD gf..Was the worst experience ever, I considered it a vital learning experience because the type is ridiculously predictable. After reading a lot of threads on here, I also came to learn they have many common habits and idiosyncracies. Strangely specific things they will pretty much all do.

The dolled up look they're so perfect at creating (why are they always the hottest women you meet as well?). The dead-eyed stare when they're about to tear into you for some unknown reason, the pointless circular/crazy-making arguments, weird/esoteric tattoos (might be more of an NPD than BPD thing because NPD tends to overproject themselves as above everyone else and other people just don't 'get' them as some kind of coping mechanism). The robotic and emotionally void/inhuman true self that shows when their stage of admiration for you wears off. Excessive validation seeking behaviours in general. Usually come packaged with drug habits or alcoholism, and probably self-harm. Emotionally absent parents, or a history of love/hate push/pull unhealthy dynamic with a parent (usually a single mom, who is also psycho herself). Extremely overblown reaction to any criticism followed by equally overblown hatred towards you and storming out. Mysterious disappearances followed by a scramble to tell insane lies to explain them, and overblown anger at any disbelief you exhibit (you don't need to say anything, she'll often immediately project guilt and assume you don't believe because of the way you were breathing). An insistence that they love you and attempts to control you while you have a gut feeling they're trying to do whatever they want on the side - and they are - one sided open relationships is something they all seem to love establishing. Attempts at triangulation between you and other parties. A strange obsession with any corrupt or immoral behavior. NPDs in particular will usually hang out with other people who they call friends but only see as a resource or enabler (money, drugs, alcohol, food, a place to crash, maybe just someone who puts up with their emotionally draining childish bullshit). If she's got a drinking problem, she'll hang out with the worst alcoholics so she can have an open bar, but also insist that it's because they are "good people with good hearts" or just 'better than your friends', because they also have a need to be seen as good, pure, or superior to others. Other women are invariably 'jealous', catty or constantly talking about her behind her back..because everything is about her. Calling you from strange numbers and just pausing on the line and other weird shit just to see what your reaction will be. If I ever feel I'm about to be sucked into the frame of one of these psycho bitches again and feel myself questioning my sanity or reverting back into Captain Save-a-ho, it's a hard next from here on out. I've learned my lesson well enough. I'm in 100% agreement with tossing them all in a nuthouse

Borderline Personality Disorder is one of the Cluster-B personality disorders along with antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. They are clustered together because many of the same symptoms appear across all four. They are called the dramatic, emotional, and erratic cluster personality disorders. That should tell you a lot.

Two LTRs that I believe I had, one was a histrionic and the other a narcissist.

The histrionic was a wild ride with a lot of great sex. Flirtatious, seductive, provocative are perfect words for her. She was an attention whore that could be easily influenced by others which let her to stray and chaos soon ensued. She left a train wreck in every relationship she was ever in, but sure could suck the chrome off a bumper.

The narcissist was the worst because they can be very manipulative. They lack empathy but they can fake it. She is self centered, has excessive entitlement, her perception of herself is bloated. She reacts very badly to criticism, lashing out in rage. Extreme manipulation, deception, and gaslighting is what she practiced most on me during and after the relationship. Once you stand up to a narcissist for some injustice in the relationship it's all over for you. She will knock you off your pedestal and will attempt to ruin your life and the relationships that you have with your children, family friends, your job. In a narcissist eyes they see you as either good or bad with no in between. Pure pain from the emotional abuse ensues. I have a daughter with this woman and it is pure hell on earth. She will attempt to punish me for any thing that she feels violates her superior perception of herself. I have to tread lightly and pick my battles. When I do stand up to her, she will involve others in the moment to claim harassment in order to punish me. False accusations are a common occurrence with this woman, and I was falsely accused by her, jailed and released for lack of evidence because the events were fabricated. There was no accountability or punishment for her actions.

It's important that you guys read up on these cluster-b personality disorder types so you could recognize them in women. Read many sources about these disorders, because I noticed that many places lack in a good description of the disorder with a detailed description of symptoms. It's especially important if you are considering an LTR. Once you see the signs/symptoms you can be proactive and be careful about an exit strategy. The narcissist will get their supply from you in any way they can, whether it is admiration or annihilation. Don't get married. Don't have kids.

I normally don't post on this sub, but for this one I had too.

My ex of 7/5 years had borderline, I figured it out years ago but I didn't end it. She threatened to kill herself, shit like that. Once she freaked out completely, tried to choke me and later on holding a pair of scissors threatening to cut my dick off. I ended it a year ago but I've found my balls again only recently, trying to get back into dating and failing miserably I found reddit, seduction, nofap and eventually the red pill.

I've read most things here and I'm changing slowly, nofap for a month now. I have a long way to go but I'm grateful for this sub, I'm grateful for women being how they are causing me to search for my answers.

Anyway, I can attest the OP. They will love you like no other, only to spit in your face calling you a dickless idiiot 10 minutes later. They will break you, they broke me, if they refuse to help themselves. Get out now!

BPD is just a nice way of saying "fucking psycho." Avoid.

Whats the difference between BPD, and a girl that's extremely insecure and controlling?

BPD people are seriously scary

Yes, and it's more common with women. Dated one once. Most guys have, although they might not know it.

They can be very nice, affectionate and sexual. Then it will suddenly flip and you go from being a saint to being villified as evil. Alcohol can bring on the change faster, as can being close to them.

They get the closeness they crave, then flip out with paranoia, alienating the guy, and then they're back to clingy and affectionate again. A few times round that loop and men dump them, and so they end up even more clingy and even more paranoid about men (obviously it's the man's fault).

Talk to a woman about her exes - how she treats them is what's in store for you regardless of their supposed crimes.

As a good and decent person, you will feel an overwhelming desire to help or fix them,

Yes. Never ever ever fix anyone you're in a relationship with, or who is hurting you. This is not fixing, this is enabling.

The manipulation of BPD women as they try to both attach-to and be-independent-of the world and people around them is extreme. They imagine the world is out to get them, and take extraordinary steps to protect themselves from the warped world as they see it.

These are the "bunny boilers" (which the film if you haven't already). These are the stalkers. These are the girls who assault you and then call the police to get you put in jail (I had one try and do this to me).

If you ever get a girl who alternates between adoring and attacking you, just walk away. If you ever get a girl who rewrites facts to justify her feelings of abandonment, just walk away.

All girls have moods, but those moods shouldn't involve emotional attacks on you beyond the usual little shit test). She shouldn't be saying things like "I feel rejected because you said X" when you never said anything like X.

My ex wife was BPD. The amount of shit I had to deal with was insane. I just thought it was normal because I didn't have any relationship experience (something she admitted she capitalised on to get what she wanted). Multiple suicide 'attempts' done just trying to get pity. Now I'm pretty sure her rape and abuse stories were made up for pity, but I believed it all at the time.

Once, late at night, a huge 7 foot dude just walked through the front door (which I'm sure I locked), I ran and blocked him, told him over and over ' you've got the wrong house' he only stopped and turned around when the dogs came running. Wife was upstairs on the laptop looking shady acting indifferent to the situation. I'm convinced she arranged it. She was into rape fantasises and the idea of gangbangs, etc etc.

Bitch was crazy and I am still recovering from years of gaslighting, manipulation and no intimacy.

Just got out of this. Feel really lost now. Trying to come back from it.

This type of woman was a direct cause of me finding this subreddit.

It's important to distinguish between BPD and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Borderlines have an intense fear of abandonment and will always come crawling back. Narcs will abandon you in a heartbeat without looking back. Both lie pathologically. Borderlines are very sensitive, and have magnified emotions, including empathy. Narcissists have zero empathy and instead simulate it, just as they simulate rage when caught in a lie. Narcs true self can be revealed by looking behind the curtain (or rolling tape-how quickly their tune changes). Borderlines do not give a fuck and will make bad decisions even when faced with arrest or embarrassment.

There can be overlap but I'd say narcissists are more dangerous, if only because they're closer to sociopaths. A borderline will go nuts and kill you in a fit of rage. A narcissist will poison your fucking breakfast cereal.

They are also masters of the push and pull seduction techniques, which makes them very addictive for many men. That is until these energy and joy sucking succubuses turned you into an empty husk.

Many mental healthcare professionals refuse to treat BPDs because how impossible it is to treat the disorder and the risks associated with it.

most girls with "borderline personality disorder" or call themselves bipolar do not have a real (biological) mental disorder and are just cunts who have been allowed to act like cunts their entire life. DO NOT ENTERTAIN THESE WOMEN AT ALL

something interesting i just learned about BPD: mental health specialists in the US feel pressured against officially diagnosing it, since it's a huge red flag that will result in being blacklisted by therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists who have dealt with BPD patients before. sympathetic specialists will sometimes still attempt treatment but will not diagnose, since it would technically harm the patient by reducing their potential avenues of treatment in the future.

also, if they do diagnose it, then modus operandi in the american medical community is to not inform the patient (and not treat them), lest they feel enabled.

http://archive.is/lQ3ig

so just think of how many functional borderlines there are in the united states at this moment. the vast majority will not seek out any sort of help, since denial is one of the core symptoms. the ones that do wont even be diagnosed! truly terrifying.

A-fucking-men, I recently got out of a LTR with a BPD chick. Her symptoms were further exacerbated by her constant drug abuse. Near the end I couldn't tell if she loved or hated me more. Steer clear gents.

BPD men typically remove themselves from the dating pool unless they are exceptionally desirable

What does this mean? Why would they remove themselves from the dating pool? Is it voluntary or are they just unable to find a mate? If so, why?

Being at a low point or inexperienced may make you particularly vulnerable to people with BPD but it's not even necessary. I've always been a bit of a "natural alpha" to use this subs terminology. Charismatic, successful, good shape, etc. I never had problems dating women and never really got serious about anyone until I met my BPD.

3 years later and I'm a shell of the man I used to be, fighting depression, trying to get my shit back together. Oh also I now have a young child from an "oops" pregnancy (it's mine I've checked). All I want is to co-parent and spend time with my kid with a reasonable person that puts our kids interests above adult issues. Instead every day is a nightmare of parental alienation and false accusations.

Heed these warnings.

Like many here, much of my draw originally to this sub was due to a past relationship with a suspected BPD ex. I accept my responsibility for things: I was naive and not well experienced in relationships - most of my life up to that time was spent on trying to better myself: school, work/income, hobbies, sports. Honestly, I didn't know what I had gotten myself into and thought she was just an emotional female. She has some health problems so I also gave her a bit of a break for that also. Knew her for years: from high school, mutual friends etc. When we went out years later, my gut told me from day one, something wasn't right, but I didn't listen to it. Thank god I had decent self-esteem and when it was over (1 year), I slammed the door in her face and went no contact. Have been so for almost 4 years now. Better for it, let me tell you.

These people are hell-bent on destroying themselves and not even realizing it. There is no fixing their behavior (nor should you try) and usually there is a stream of orbiters and enablers there to reinforce their bullshit. They hook onto you fast and may often use sex as the bait to keep you there. You are a toy, someone for them to use until they find a new toy. They will try to mirror you, tell you how wonderful you are and the next minute you are Hitler because you looked at them the wrong way. The lies, secret drug abuse, the deceit, the gas-lighting, manipulative tactics and trying to alienate you from your family and friends.

Stay away, if you sense the crazy, run and don't look back. It can haunt you for years, but damn, do you learn fast. I can identify these people pretty quickly now, so actively avoid. What helped me in the end was realizing that she's just a walking disaster. From time to time I do genuinely feel sorry for her that she lives in such a state of hell. The good times were good, I really cared about her (oneitis) but I've never experienced such pain either. But then I laugh because she is now living with a family of Juggalos and thinks she is one. They have no respect for themselves, so make damn sure you respect yourself because they won't have any for you either.

Dude, no. "Don't stick your dick in crazy" covers it enough.

She gave you endless signs she was crazy but you didn't care because you wanted the pussy.

I am pretty darned sure my ex-wife is bpd. One fucked up girl. I still get a cold sweat on when I remember waking up in the middle of the night to find her standing over me, with a kitchen knife glinting in her hand. I had oneitis for a nutter..... Jeeez....lucky lucky escape.

I found the red pill after watching most of the shrink for men videos who dicuss bdp a lot. Elam is quite annoying but Palmatier is terrific. Well worth a look. Think trp link to the channel on the sidebar.

"reddit Expecting the Unexpected: A BPD Breakup Guide"

OP, you should have no issues using this archive link (or similar archive sites): https://archive.is/BdDzJ

edit: Captivating reading, and as someone blessed to have dodged the bullets covered on this topic, I consider it sidebar worthy material.

Scan the articles at A Shrink For Men for more insight.

Borderline personality disorder was originally called "borderline insanity" before the PC police came along. The old name was appropriate. Steer clear.

Bipolar disorder, on the other hand, is something that usually can be treated with drugs.

Well on the other hand...

I used to think one of my exes was BPD, she had all that intensity and clingyness, mood swings and a terrible relationship with her familly that seems to accompany it. However, I know realise this was my fault for the most part, because I kept failing her shit tests and took her at her word rather than judging her by her actions. I was sending incongruent alpha/beta signals and she went slightly nuts as a result.

Yep. When I was a dumb kid, I dated one. HB10 for the record, which was my dumbass logic for dating her.

I still have the scar to prove it, I was stabbed with a 9" blade after a paranoid fantasy (The worst part of all this is I wasn't even cheating on her).

Oh, and you guys are gonna get a kick out of this: after the stabbing, I didn't leave her. Yup. I was that stupid.

I was in the country illegally at the time, so I couldn't seek medical treatment- I literally poured iodine on my gaping open wound, got real drunk- had her stitch it up (with a sowing needle and thread- which, in reality, endangered me more, and increased my odds of infection- I would have better off just trying to stop the blood loss with bandages- but I didn't know this) , crossed my fingers I wasn't gonna die, and kept dating her, showed up for work tomorrow, 'Hey man how are you, you don't look so good' 'NO, no, I'm fine dude!'

BPD people can be that charming, make you feel that special.

These people are dangerous. I know a lot of you tough guys think 'How's a 90lb bird gonna hurt a muscle man like me' but yeah, knives.

The breakup happened because I didn't approve of one her skirts, and I said 'If you go out wearing that, you're single' and well, she wouldn't change, so, I had to leave her, or I would never be taken seriously again.

Looking back, thank god, or I would have been with this chick until she found an artery.

especially since they have such tragic pasts

or they just exaggerate the truth to the point of deceit in order make themselves seem like they have a tragic past. BPDs feed on pity.

I dated a girl who was diagnosed bipolar/BPD/bulemic on and off for about 3 years. We eventually broke up; five years later she killed herself. I'm still getting over the residual trauma of that relationship. What a nightmare.

My first girlfriend had BPD. She was bat shit fucking goddamn crazy but she knew how to suck a dick.

Read through DSM IV. Helpful to put behaviours into context.

A borderline woman can only be influenced by fear. She does not react to applications of emotional or physical pain like the average person. Most men do not understand how to instill fear but rather rely upon administering pain to which she is immune. A borderline will kill you. If she hasn't tried you haven't spent enough time with her. Reality itself contradicts her ability to exist. As much as "You showed me pain, I'll show fear" sounds empowering and appeals to the nihilistic and self destructive tendencies of most men, few truly understand the techniques. Ask yourself this: Why have so many cliche catchphrases like this been bandied about here but not once has an example of a discrete tactic been offered? How would you rule with fear? Total and absolute fear capable of controlling a borderline? Most can't. Most don't understand the peak behind the curtain that is being hinted at.

So much talk about the dark traits, so little actual experience. Most men are not equipped to handle a woman that will kill them as easily as steal a sum of money. These are not women with which you casually play. They do not negotiate and they will not lose. Yet, they personify the feminine traits and are therefore irresistible to the generation of men that have been starved of the influence of femininity. There are gaping holes in the personality of a dark triad woman for which the maladaptive coping mechanisms cover. You'll never see it until she's stabbing you or pointing a gun at you. How will that make you feel when she's pointing your own gun at you? Think you can handle that?

A borderline woman is an unsuccessfully or incompletely integrated vulnerable dark triad. She is a survivor. But, survivors are nothing more than victims that didn't die. They can not be reformed, they can not be reasoned with. Feminism has allowed more of them into public.

Bipolar mom and borderline dad, yay