I apologize for linking a german only article (I Google Translated it) but it is such a perfect example and was posted on the frontpage of "Die Zeit", a reputable german newspaper.
I think it is an interesting "confession" and provides pretty good insight in the hamstering of the author and is a relatively short read if you can look over the faulty translation.
Infidelities are no reason for a bad conscience or a separation. Because love is much more than just sex.
Cheating makes me feel alive!
Knowledge and studies about the fact that most women and men during their relationship life have an escapade at least once are not new. I myself know cheating from different perspectives: my parents, who have cheated each other, a lot of friends who told me about her affairs, and even one's own experience. I had affairs and vice versa was also my friend during the relationship something with another person.
I have been treated from beginning to end, I have processed the separation of my parents, I'm not tying unable, on the contrary. I am actually been for most of my adult life in relationships and love. Nevertheless, I have had sex with other men a few times. I have not told my respective partners and would not reversed know whether there sometimes still another person. Sexual fidelity was never very much worth it. A long-standing relationship has so many facets, sex is an important, but also one of them. There is a difference between love and sex
Of course, every person has his own value proposition, by defining it or he a relationship. For me, love means so much more than just sexual intercourse: deep conversations, common ideals, hold together, comfort each other, laugh together. I do not need exclusivity in sex in order to feel loved me and to be able to pass on this unconditional love. Cheating does not mean to me that the emotional intimacy is disturbed to my boyfriend.
Even more: the claim of ownership "You belong to me, and me alone," the socially accepted rule for most intimate relationships, has always scared me. If this condition is imposed on a relationship, it will cause the cheating is seen as an absolute breach of trust. Because the expectation was: Confidence = exclusivity = love. The conclusion is then, lack of love that led to infidelity.
I do not think so. Love is not measurable, I love but no more or less, because I sleep times with another, perhaps even stranger. It does not change my decision to live in a relationship and support my partner want to. If my boyfriend had something with others and the relationship between us yet properly and feels good, I do not see that there is a problem in our partnership. Cheating to feel alive!
Of course infidelities happen among others if something is wrong in the relationship, sexually or emotionally. But there are just also cases where unfaithful people without anything going wrong. It becomes dangerous only when I want to compensate for something by the escapade, what I lack in the relationship. The times that I am unfaithful, arose out of a particular situation. It happened completely detached from my relationship, there was no dispute preceded, not a disappointment. For me it was rather the temporary fascination with another person by talking, shared experiences.
At the last time I can remember well. He was no stranger, does not irritate me anyway. In the time before I had ever ever thought again about how it would be like to sleep with him. Then he was with me, it was late, but I did not want him to go. He stayed overnight. Nothing was routine that I liked, but quite unknown it was not, after all, I already knew how it smells and that he has nice, soft hands. It was not arrogance that led to infidelity. Such moments have a certain quality: Something unexpected, which I did not expect. Touches, which I was perhaps not prepared. It sometimes feels that cheating gives me the impression of being particularly lively.
To me it is also happened that I fell in love with the cheating. Once I myself then to my existing relationship decided again for. After every escapade I wonder: Is this cheating without consequences remained for the heart? This is important to me because it makes me all the difference to an open relationship: I would love just one person sincerely.
mgfowler 7y ago
This article makes me wanna throw up
Steve_Wiener 7y ago
Cheating's not allowed under Sharia
hailhailhailandkill 7y ago
Apple never falls far from the tree. Sloots raise sloots. Smells like some lack of a decent father figure also. As for "a lot of friends", she goes with the herd-psych flow in her social circle. Then rotten apple spoils the barrel!
By the way u/Zerwas can you edit Freund's translation from friend to boyfriend in order to avoid confusion?
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PantsonFire1234 7y ago
What she's basically saying is that love (commitment) is more important than sex. So she doesn't understand the big deal because in her female mind, commitment trumps all.
However she still does desire sex with other men she was momentarily fascinated with and it makes her feel alive. It's not about the sex for her again, but simply to have the attention (commitment) of a higher value man. However shortly, until she goes back to her husband.
The male parallel would be that you don't care if your girlfriend has orbiters and beta-bff's. All of you give her commitment, but only you get the sex. And you probably rationalize this because you have female friends yourself and you think there's nothing wrong with that.
In both scenarios the couple gives each other sex <> commitment whilst getting validation from higher value prospect by giving away all your currency (sex with women and commitment in men).
The man is a time slut and the woman is a sex slut. Only losers handle in this way. Only losers need fake validation like this. People like this are tricking themselves whilst being ripped off by the party that pumps & dumps them or friendzones them.
Failures like this deserve to be ridiculed.
Fnaut3187 7y ago
Not very surprised about a German woman thinking this way. I've been living here for about 3 years already and I have noticed a lot of single German women in their 30s. Co-incidentally, a lot of German men married to Eastern European, Asian, Southeast Asian, Indian, Latin women. German women need to rethink their feminism. LOL!
PS: I also had a short stint with a really nice German girl who knew hot to treat men. So, this is not a generalization. Don't be afraid to approach a German girl. :)
ikbork 7y ago
that's why muslims are taking over that country.
Fnaut3187 7y ago
In a way, you are right. German people are not having as many kids (Thanks to modern feminism) as the Muslim immigrants. Gradually, the Muslim population will increase and native German population is going to decrease.
xmotorboatmygoatx 7y ago
Amen, brother (american biker voice)
BluestBlackBalls 7y ago
Substantiate your statement.
Sad_Larry 7y ago
Germany has taken more Muslim refugees than any other country, and has a birth rate of 1.38 per woman.
BluestBlackBalls 7y ago
So you are worried about being out voted?
BluestBlackBalls 7y ago
A quick 5min search revealed the following:
#German Stats
Last census was in 2011, the following are projected figures:
According to a 2010 PEW Research publication, 4.8m of Germany's population was Muslim, if we add 400 000^• to crudely match 2011's results, we can over estimate this figure to 5.2m. This would mean that less than 4.2% of the population is Muslim.
Observations
Asylum seekers in 2014 amassed to a grand total of 363 000.
On average, there are 3mil more women than man of Saxon heritage every year. Who knew.
1986 had a shitty total population of 56.5m people; wonder what happened there, why the drop?
Germans are not fucking enough, dropping the people of Saxon heritage by roughly 100 000 per annum as perhaps e last 5 years.
Foreigners are on the up, roughly 400 000 per annum^• as per the last 5 years.
Conclusion
I was expecting to chew you out for being a typical 'reactionist' but in terms of long term viability, you can't let this ~5% of your total population proliferate.
Why at the current rate, in 40 years you may have more foreigners in your country, making Saxon's the minority.
FUCK THE MINORITY, MAKE MORE GERMANS
Sad_Larry 7y ago
Exactly. It is not sustainable in the long term, nor is it even desirable in the short term. But the AfD is growing in popularity. Maybe they will take over before it's too late.
[deleted] 7y ago
ze.tt - we all know that blue pill truth-twisting permeates all kinds of media, but this platform was literally made with the sole purpose of hamstering! Not sure if at this stage it becomes sad or funny.... but in any case, it would be hard to write a better parody of it than this article.
Zerwas 7y ago
I never knew about it before but it seems that every online news outlet here in Germany now has these sub-platforms which follow the social justice narrative and similar views.
"Der Spiegel" has "bento" which is extremely similar and writes positive articles over the european mattress girl (who will be hopefully sentenced tomorrow). It is a worrying trend.
Your_Coke_Dealer 7y ago
In the US we just have Buzzfeed, Gawker, and similar shit. The rest of the media is pretty liberal, but at least the blatant stuff is well known as shit quality or clickbait sites
ecosci 7y ago
They dont want to be called loose women and use the relationship as a moral compass but most just believe that its ok to cheat and every good guy will fall for it thats why they dont ltr badboys because she cant one up those guys its too much competetion drives them crazy after awhile.
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ozaku7 7y ago
It's one thing if a woman wants to be sexually liberal and fuck every throbbing cock on the planet, but the cheating part is just ridiculous. Why not just get into an open relationship, or become swingers? She can't deal with her man having her dick in another pussy, but the other way around it's okay? Or because she does something naughty and shouldn't get caught, which adds to the thrill. It's like speeding or breaking other traffic rules for the excitement. Without a speed limit, speeding isn't exciting at all.
She just needs to find a notorious cheater herself without her knowing it, only then everything is fair play.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
She's everything you just described. I bet she got addicted to the thrill. But it started simply because she's a low value woman with an equal value boyfriend. Her deep psychological issues after the divorce of her parents made her damaged goods to begin with.
Probably got gamed very good once by some Chad, it made her feel alive (extremely validated) and after a couple of times she couldn't stop herself anymore.
Point is that this woman already sucked inside and out, so this was expectable.
jzekyllandhyde 7y ago
Men and women cheaters are in two different leagues. I always say it's easier to arrange a gangbang than a bukkake
ozaku7 7y ago
Reminded me of some guy on reddit telling how he divorced his cheating wife, and then she went on to have a gangbang with a bunch of dudes. But what really makes me wonder, is how you don't see this coming. There sure has to be some sort of sign that some woman will end up gangbanging half the city. If you're into it, go for it, but it won't be some shy introvert who is all classy.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Man that's just the worst story I've heard all month.
jzekyllandhyde 7y ago
I beg to differ, but I have no evidence
BluestBlackBalls 7y ago
I believe everyone does this, it's called Ego Centricity
ozaku7 7y ago
Everyone does, but she's is taking the cake, ain't she.
BluestBlackBalls 7y ago
Is your issue that she is better at being Ego Centric than most?
ozaku7 7y ago
She would be terrible to deal with, as she considers that she can do anything she wants while forbidding it to others. I would just next her.
BluestBlackBalls 7y ago
Stated explicitly, is your disdain founded on her — assumed — hypocrisy or on you expecting her to play the game of live by your rules?
Stated otherwise, why do you expect male 'virtues' from someone never conditioned to betoken masculinity, in any form?
rickyxp 7y ago
This just your fucking hamstering justifying all the bullshit you've done.
Zerwas 7y ago
I would go so far to say she knows that it is bad but she goes out of her way to proof otherwise to herself.
Basically she lies to herself in order to feel better about it.
I mean publishing something like that under your real name seems like she seeks redemption and confirmation at the same time.
Too bad she gets denied by every comment and, of course, common sense.
AdrianWerner 7y ago
It wouldn't be a bad aproach to life. What makes it fall apart is the fact that the husband doesn't know. So he didn't give consent, they do not share ideology and what she did is an absolutely a breach of trust.
And you can bet that if she got pregnant during one of those flings she also wouldn't tel the poor sap he isn't the father.
Chris_Phoenix 7y ago
"All of the things I'm doing are completely okay but of course I'd never tell my partner about them"
Zerwas 7y ago
Exactly, the interesting thing is that she published the article under her real name. So either she is so convinced of her hamstering and self-assured about her attitude towards cheating or she thinks nobody will call her out in these days of strong independent women (the comments all call her out btw).
BluestBlackBalls 7y ago
I bet that:
If she can sustain her polyandry, the 'call outs' will fall on deaf ears; or
The 'call outs' will be rebranded as public discourse, highlighting how small minded and patriarchal society has become; or
victor_knight 7y ago
Yeah, I mean why settle for one dick when you can have many, right?
PipBoyTInkerer 7y ago
Until you hit the wall, of course. Then it's "where are all the nice guys who will pay my medical bills from all these STDs?"
[deleted] 7y ago
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PantsonFire1234 7y ago
She's a wannabe intellectual. Women who try to develop anything outside of their image are overcompensating for the very lack of it. This woman ain't no looker and this explains all the garbage she unloaded in her article.
McLarenX 7y ago
You'll hear women say this about sex, but never about money. Money ALWAYS matters in a relationship.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Money equals status, provision etc. A.k.a. commitment. TRP doesn't preach this enough, the reason why women say shit like this. It's because they truly mean it.
Sex is a mans occupation, Commitment is a woman's.
Once you understand this simply concept it becomes much easier to navigate these weird stories. For you will be able to understand why women do what they do.
McLarenX 7y ago
Or just don't do relationships because there's no reason to in the year 2016.
stay_anon_stay_safe 7y ago
so what you are saying is that a man needs to give good sex for a woman to give commitment?
makes sense because a good dicking makes a woman feel so many tingles that she feels enamored
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
No, men want sex and women want commitment. The other sex provides what the opposite wants, it's a market of supply/demand. Which means that men give their commitment and women give sex.
Still following me? Okay..
..The reason why women get so tingled when you give her a good dicking is because it strokes her ego and validates her, that a man would be so aroused by her he can't contain himself. It proves to her that her sexual currency is of high value. Equally, when a woman is infatuated by a man and follows him around like a love sick puppy, this 'enamors' the man. Because it feeds his ego and validates to him that he is the 'best man' in her reality. I'm sure you've daydreamed about that, having a girl al giggly and enthralled to you, hanging on your every word, big dopey eyes laser focused on you.
It's why men are hopeless romantics and women are sexual fiends. The currency we want from the other sex is highly prized but getting our own currency validated by the other sex- is another high all together. It temporarily boost our confidence.
And this brings us to sluts and betas. These are failures because they 1. can't obtain the currency they so deeply desire (sex for men and commitment for women) and 2. are desperate to have their own currency validated by the other sex- because they doubt their self worth continuously.
This is why you will find men hopelessly looking for romance whilst not getting laid at all and women who constantly need to ride the CC-train despite having zero boyfriends.
stay_anon_stay_safe 7y ago
ohhh that's right and twisted, it's messed up that the girl feels validated because the guy wants to /fuck her/, since that means she feels valuable for an asset she was given at birth, not something she had to work for in any way. Makes me think of how guys have to put in work to get a girl, which brings some level of appreciation in having something you put in work to earn, while the girl is basically given the guys, which she can pick and dump like her daddy bought them for her.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Women are born and men are made. Consequently women can 'slut it up' and irreversibly lose their value. While men can grow from Beta to Alpha and actually gain value.
A hardened man is a beautiful sight to behold while a hardened woman is simply ruined.
Everything in the world has balance and when you start to look at these polarities interaction, understanding and navigating the world becomes much easier.
Don't envy women for having to put in less work than you do. They can also screw up easier than you. Couple of years being Beta might waste you some time but you can ascend from it. There's no such thing for women. Once a woman allows herself to be gangbanged, CC'd, hatefucked etc. The only thing that can help her is more lies. In reality though she's permanently ruined.
Men play life on hardmode but with multiple lives whilst women play life on easymode but with only one life. Again, balance.
stay_anon_stay_safe 7y ago
ngl i still envy them, even if they are "ruined" they sure as fuck enjoy themselves while they are at it, on the other hand having the short end of the stick as a guy is always hardship.
Though my comment was directed towards the idea that women don't have to put in ANY work to get rewarded, thus probably inhibiting them from actually appreciating anyone and anything, which explains why they have shit taste.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Our society caters excellently to women's endless desires. Girls just wanna have fun right. Though the fun stops when Chad walks. At that point her world becomes a living hell, full of cognitive dissonance. She tries to rationale it by saying he was 'a jerk' or 'things just didn't work out'.
But deep inside she knows it was because she didn't measure up to his standards. That her value is way below what he believes it to be. Which is why you see those sad & dead eyes every time she makes a picture of herself. The thousand cock stare is real.
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[deleted] 7y ago
That's why you just randomly start spending a shit load of time and money on some strange chick because it "makes you feel alive!" And watch her head explode.
Evileddie13 7y ago
One day, I LTR and she'll cheat. Then I'm going to do exactly that.
reckful994 7y ago
That sounds like too much work to prove a point.
[deleted] 7y ago
I agree. I'd never do that, but the idea of it is pretty funny.
JamesSkepp 7y ago
So if your bf/husband cheats on you, you feel amazing?
Oh, you mean "YOU cheating", not "cheating on YOU".
Typical woman. Me me me.
[deleted] 7y ago
"Cheating makes me feel alive!"
Unless I get caught. Then I never meant for this to happen.
[deleted]
Zerwas 7y ago
The empathy is not strong in her. Also she admits in the end that she "fell in love with the cheating".
She only thinks about herself. If the concept of monogamy scares her, why even have a normal relationship? Why not play with open cards? Because then she would face consequences like people leaving her or not even committing to her, she couldn't have her beta...
empatheticapathetic 7y ago
She only feels alive when mentally she's fucking over her partner. Otherwise it wouldn't be cheating, just fucking around.
This is the part that still gets me angry. My old oneitis literally couldn't wait to do this to me. It's literally just pure pleasure from fucking someone else around.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Simply case of a girl with daddy issues, combined with her being low value/low self esteem. Probably got Alpha widowed once or twice. Which left her frustrated.
Cheating validates her ability to 'land' a higher value man, although it is an illusion. I want to bet she's an HB5 and her husband is a Beta male of equal SMV. Whilst she fucks higher value Chads.
There are numerous fucked up psychological reasons why people cheat. Women mostly, since they are all emotions. If other men hurt her previously she will take it out on her hubby. Women are petty like that.
sd4c 7y ago
Yes and by mentally fucking over a guy, she gets the benefits of his time/advice/connections/money/space/attention without having to give up sexual opportunities to reel in a potentially better catch
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
What did your oneitis do exactly?
empatheticapathetic 7y ago
She got me very hooked on her (I was blue as hell) and then went out and got with a guy and trickle truthed me it over a few days. Enjoying every second of letting a bit more slip and me trying to not give a shit. Talking about how she's pissed off he hasn't called her yet and stuff. She never overtly said it, it was all covertly told along with her covertly putting me down. She was acting weird before she went out but I didn't understand why so it was probably pre planned.
After the 3 days of shit I just messaged "hey was nice meeting you. Had a great time, wish it went on longer but I'm not enjoying this anymore. Good luck" and hard nexted. Then found TRP the next day.
RamJamtheBarbarian 7y ago
This is funny. This is the kind of stuff that women do to destroy themselves. Men are going to (if not already) stop getting into relationships all together and just play the field continously. Then this security of having someone and this "unmeasurable love" will be gone to all women. ..but who are we kidding, there are millions of thirsty well conditioned(brainwashed) betas around to fill the slots of the cuck.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Well I know I will. Sucks for women though, I'll be infecting every man with my misogynistic hatespeach. Shitlord until the grave brah!
[deleted] 7y ago
People who say this kind of crap are just immature cunts.
Tarnsman4Life 7y ago
"Prepare to be my beta cuck provider, you will take duty sex once a month and like it"
RIPdig 7y ago
IMHO cheating is normal. Everyone alive currently has cheaters somewhere in their lineage. Also very normal you want to cheat but you don't want your partner to.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Men and women cheat for different reasons. Men take sex, women give sex. Men give commitment, women take commitment. So when a woman cheats she's giving sex for nothing and when a man cheats he's taking sex without giving anything. Basically the women is diluting the relationship by outsourcing the sex elsewhere. Whilst a man would keep the relationship balance of sex/commitment intact.
Here's a female version of the fuckery that OP's author is unloading on her SO: Man and women are engaged, women gives all the sex and the man takes it all. However! the man is also hopelessly enthralled to a much hotter woman who friendzoned him. This woman gets high time, attention and allot of money for presents and dinners. His wife gets less than half of his resources despite giving him sex. The other woman gives no sex but gets more resources.
BAM. Do that to your future girlfriend and she will understand what's it like to be 'cheated' on.