http://ze.tt/warum-ich-fremdgehen-nicht-schlimm-finde/?utm_campaign=zonteaser&utm_medium=teaser&utm_source=zon

I apologize for linking a german only article (I Google Translated it) but it is such a perfect example and was posted on the frontpage of "Die Zeit", a reputable german newspaper.

I think it is an interesting "confession" and provides pretty good insight in the hamstering of the author and is a relatively short read if you can look over the faulty translation.

Infidelities are no reason for a bad conscience or a separation. Because love is much more than just sex.

Cheating makes me feel alive!

Knowledge and studies about the fact that most women and men during their relationship life have an escapade at least once are not new. I myself know cheating from different perspectives: my parents, who have cheated each other, a lot of friends who told me about her affairs, and even one's own experience. I had affairs and vice versa was also my friend during the relationship something with another person.

I have been treated from beginning to end, I have processed the separation of my parents, I'm not tying unable, on the contrary. I am actually been for most of my adult life in relationships and love. Nevertheless, I have had sex with other men a few times. I have not told my respective partners and would not reversed know whether there sometimes still another person. Sexual fidelity was never very much worth it. A long-standing relationship has so many facets, sex is an important, but also one of them. There is a difference between love and sex

Of course, every person has his own value proposition, by defining it or he a relationship. For me, love means so much more than just sexual intercourse: deep conversations, common ideals, hold together, comfort each other, laugh together. I do not need exclusivity in sex in order to feel loved me and to be able to pass on this unconditional love. Cheating does not mean to me that the emotional intimacy is disturbed to my boyfriend.

Even more: the claim of ownership "You belong to me, and me alone," the socially accepted rule for most intimate relationships, has always scared me. If this condition is imposed on a relationship, it will cause the cheating is seen as an absolute breach of trust. Because the expectation was: Confidence = exclusivity = love. The conclusion is then, lack of love that led to infidelity.

I do not think so. Love is not measurable, I love but no more or less, because I sleep times with another, perhaps even stranger. It does not change my decision to live in a relationship and support my partner want to. If my boyfriend had something with others and the relationship between us yet properly and feels good, I do not see that there is a problem in our partnership. Cheating to feel alive!

Of course infidelities happen among others if something is wrong in the relationship, sexually or emotionally. But there are just also cases where unfaithful people without anything going wrong. It becomes dangerous only when I want to compensate for something by the escapade, what I lack in the relationship. The times that I am unfaithful, arose out of a particular situation. It happened completely detached from my relationship, there was no dispute preceded, not a disappointment. For me it was rather the temporary fascination with another person by talking, shared experiences.

At the last time I can remember well. He was no stranger, does not irritate me anyway. In the time before I had ever ever thought again about how it would be like to sleep with him. Then he was with me, it was late, but I did not want him to go. He stayed overnight. Nothing was routine that I liked, but quite unknown it was not, after all, I already knew how it smells and that he has nice, soft hands. It was not arrogance that led to infidelity. Such moments have a certain quality: Something unexpected, which I did not expect. Touches, which I was perhaps not prepared. It sometimes feels that cheating gives me the impression of being particularly lively.

To me it is also happened that I fell in love with the cheating. Once I myself then to my existing relationship decided again for. After every escapade I wonder: Is this cheating without consequences remained for the heart? This is important to me because it makes me all the difference to an open relationship: I would love just one person sincerely.