For most of my 20s, I avoided "dating". I don't like bars, I don't really drink, I don't particularly like spending effort hanging out 1-on-1 with people outside of the house. I've never had much money and assumed if I had to pay for dinner and drinks, it would break me.
Earlier this year, I wanted to get laid more, so I decided to at least try it out. I downloaded Tinder and Bumble and started approaching girls during my day-to-day. It was always the same routine online: flirt, converse for 1-2 days, get their number and set up a date at a bar or restaurant. At the venue, escalate physically, bounce to a second venue, and try to get them back to my house. On these dates, I would always pay.
Out of 10 dates with 10 different girls, guess how many I fucked? 0. I was throwing down $15-$30 a night to get nowhere.
So I changed up my routine completely. I did something that would make any modern-day feminist get her panties in a bunch: I stopped taking girls out, instead I invited them directly to my place on the first date. My results changed immediately.
I've fucked the last 7 girls I've hung out with the first night while paying virtually nothing. Two of those seven have even offered to cook dinner after I suggested they just invite me over because I don't feel like going out. The rest, I've either cooked dinner for, which I was doing anyway, or seduced with a couple glasses of wine at home.
Valuable lesson learned: if you just want casual sex, don't take girls out. You run the risk being framed as a beta provider and wasting time and energy on nothing.
If a girl finds you attractive enough, she will come right over and she will understand that the expectation outcome of this is sex on the first date.
deci-mator 7y ago
Very true. With genuine desire she will not give a fuck whether or not you take her on dates or all that shit. Because really all it is, is a few drinks and a whole lot of chatting, that's some shit you can do anywhere but betas take it the extra mile trying to make it the most memorable few hours of her life.
Finnezty 7y ago
That's what I don't get about people that use Tinder to start dating, I've thought of it as a "fuck app", not "let's get to know each other slowly" app, my first match asked me to either sexy time or not, too bad she was 200 miles away in another country.
corsega 7y ago
People flock to what's popular, unfortunately. Back in 2013 it was fuck city (apparently. I just joined a few months ago).
dissentforall 7y ago
I can second this. Around the time that tinder first came out. I was banging 3 to 4 girls a month on my free time and it never cost me more than a portion of a meal I was already cooking. Hell I didn't even have a car then. Sometimes they even borrowed cars to come over or cabbed it. It's actually even easier if you get them involved in the meal prep and make them feel useful from a point of authority. Most of them became plates of larger rotation and I never spent I dime on any of them. Fuckin 3 different cute girls a week with no investment on my free time is a pretty sweet gig.
It was even funnier to listen to the beta types at the gym lament how tinder and online dating is a waste of time and how they spent so much money on dates. Eventually they caught on that all the msgs I was getting were different women and figured I had some kind of magical method.
stawek 7y ago
Selection bias.
The girls who agreed to come over were dtf already. The ones you took out for dates weren't sure yet.
How many girls refused to come to your place as compared to going out?
corsega 7y ago
Oh, this is definitely selection bias. I'm not doing anything different on these "dates" that I wouldn't have at a bar.
The point of this thread is that using selection bias in your favor is very red pill.
poochman 7y ago
Only problem with that method, when I used to online date, was the very real chance of being catfished. A lot harder to bail when the chick comes to your place instead of meeting at the bar.
Also, I tend to wonder, if a girl is coming over a random dude's house, who she's only met online, to fuck, how often has she done that before? Has she fucked 100 guys that way? Are her standards absurdly low that she's fine rolling the dice like that? One of the many reasons I only exclusively date from real life approaches now.
Verificus 7y ago
Honestly, if you are the type of person that cares about how many guys a girls has fucked when all you are looking for is sex than you don't get how this works. Maybe ONS is not for you or you've told yourself its not to feel safe and comfortable, your mentality changes when you've fucked a small army of girls. I assume any girl I fuck via Tinder has fucked hordes herself. What else would she be doing on Tinder and going to guys' places? If I was looking for something more serious I'd still not mind fucking on the first date. The best girlfriends I've had were promiscuous as fuck. They were also smarter, funnier, more feminine and great in bed.
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1v1crown 7y ago
I think its really just about having your own place. I would take girls to bars and buy them drinks then say do you want to see my house and watch a movie. Never once had a girl say no. Chances of fucking were like 7/10. The biggest thing is just having a place to take them where you two can be alone in a non threatening environment.
Ripsaw1990 7y ago
Most recent lay off tinder was,"Have my own place, comeover lets fuck" 20 minutes later I was balls deep.
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[deleted] 7y ago
Used to work for me until I met a couple of real psychos. Be careful out there. Once they know where you live...
[deleted] 7y ago
i've slept with 30 different girls this year since jan 1, with most coming straight over, and not once have i had a noticeable problem. they simply have so many options that they really don't need a reason to just show up out of the blue or bug you afterwards - this isn't to say that a number of them didn't want to chill again.
dissentforall 7y ago
I had one chick try to keep my wallet after I left it at her place (2min walk from my apt). After jerking me around for a week I finally threatened to call the cops and she immediately gave it back and then tried to invite me over again...fuckin crazies.
[deleted] 7y ago
Agreed they will know where you live and you put yourself at risk of accusations against you. Better have CCTV to meet them somewhere else.
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[deleted] 7y ago
I had this exact same thought many times, once a bitch knows where I live shit can get dicey. So what do I do? Instead of a direct road to my place I take several of the side-streets and alleys in town on the way to my place. It confuses the living fuck out of them as they are following my vehicle or sitting passenger. They don't remember street names for shit, either.
Once I get to my place after an extra 3-5min of driving around they literally have no idea where they are and several have told me so. I mostly do it for humor and to take her out of her element, when a woman doesn't know where she is while you are in your element you can catch her off guard more easily. Not being able to recall where I live exactly is just a side bonus. EDIT: Having a clean place with a decently stocked bathroom helps too, almost every date I took back to my place it seems like a woman tosses a roll of toilet paper out the window every time she pees.
Ricardo2991 7y ago
You're also treating her...like a child!
ELLEN_POO 7y ago
That's kind of creepy tho. Like I would not want my daughter to go on a date with you bro
Chinchilla_the_Hun 7y ago
Oh FFS with the toilet paper...my wife's sisters came into town for a girls weekend years ago and nearly depleted our entire stock. I made them bring their own supply every time thereafter.
[deleted] 7y ago
Right? What the fuck do they do, wipe themselves then burn the rest of the roll as a sacrifice to the estrogen gods? I don't friggin get it. One girl claimed she had a period....really...she could've stopped the bleeding of a whole platoon of gut-shot soldiers with all the paper she just burned through.....
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[deleted] 7y ago
I don't do bars, honestly I had good luck with Starbucks as an initial meet place. I use that to screen them. Laying eyes on someone for 15min can tell you a lot about them immediately.
trpftw 7y ago
So strange you know, one girl I had a while ago was kinda confusing as shit. Great first few bar dates, then she outright asked for non-alcoholic date (which is great for me), and then we had one more drinking date and she decided to reject. Quite bizarre shit, but I could not figure out what went wrong because everything was going well.
All my overanalyzing logic has told me that she just became distracted by another guy.
So yeah... coffee dates & non-alcoholic dates are the way to go.
sex on the first few dates might happen with alcohol but only and only if she gets really drunk, but otherwise they will usually give resistance. If they're not getting drunk and keeping things "proper"... you're in trouble. You might as well have done only coffee dates.
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trpftw 7y ago
Wait you're having sex with them after a short coffee first-date? Or do you mean subsequent coffee dates?
If you badly need endurance, just get the benzocaine condoms. A girl accidentally made me use them one time and then she tapped out.
newmeforever 7y ago
good thing my apartment is gated as fuck! :D
therhymerr 7y ago
a crazy bitch will wait all hours to get in
newmeforever 7y ago
then ill call the cops for trespassing!
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corsega 7y ago
I don't have my own house. Read the thread.
[deleted] 7y ago
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corsega 7y ago
Schau dir mal die misc Tinder-Faden an: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=158339883
iliketreeslikereally 7y ago
I don't know, I wouldn't go to a girl's place after a brief conversation on Tinder myself.
She might look completely different from her pictures, she might be insane or dumb, it's too fishy and too much too soon.
cockatricejr 7y ago
Not an universal truth. I started online dating in the past 4 weeks and I've been really successful just following the basic protocol: meeting at a bar (I DO love drinking), being aggressive (sitting up real close, touching a lot) and escalating. Sex will come naturally at the second date, which is fine for me. I also don't have patience for sluts and I admire the self-control. It hasn't gone past the second date so far, and by treating them well they become a plate.
Way_Of_Man 7y ago
This sounds very close to Blackdragon's dating methods. As a matter of fact he's got a pretty interesting write up on why he doesn't do ONS at all
I have yet to test it out myself as I barely have the time to date the last year or so.
[deleted] 7y ago
The most success ive had in my life with getting laid was when I lived in a studio apartment with 3 of my buddies, slept on the couch in the living room and had a part time minimum wage job. Most girls under 25 (generally speaking) dont give a fuck how much money you make or if you even have a car.
It's all about the tingles.. but by all means strive to be wealthy regardless because money = freedom.
[deleted] 7y ago
Money does equal freedom and no matter what kind of family you came from (rich, middle class, poor) is something you should strive for. It's not about the expensive houses, clothes, private jets, etc., it's about being able to do what the fuck you want.
DarkCotton 7y ago
But what if doing what you want requires money?
[deleted] 7y ago
Then you are just spending money on yourself and she pays for herself.
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[deleted] 7y ago
[deleted]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.8991
corsega 7y ago
I'm not good looking. 9/10 body, 5/10 face.
dingman58 7y ago
So in women's eyes you're a 9/10
corsega 7y ago
False. Women care much more about facial aesthetics than body aesthetics.
If I was a 9 I would match with some 9s on Tinder and I never have.
qiang_shi 7y ago
Right... keep telling yourself that
Ricardo2991 7y ago
I've matched 9-10s on Tinder, but they never converse me... In real life, I meet 9-10s and can go all the way... I guess I'm about a 7 with extreme confidence and a good personality.
KyfhoMyoba 7y ago
Can confirm. I'm rated about a 6 and suck moose-wang on online dating, otoh, I can game 8-9s that are 30 years younger than me IRL.
corsega 7y ago
That's because any girl above a 9 uses Tinder for more instagram followers and self-validation and doesn't actually meet with guys on it.
I've done tests with male model profiles and it's still nearly impossible to get a date with a 9.
Firespit 7y ago
Please make a post about your tests.
corsega 7y ago
Basically this: http://archive.is/xcVoo
Limekill 7y ago
U should write a post about it.
wiseprogressivethink 7y ago
Yeah, that sounds like an interesting experiment...
slay_it_forward 7y ago
Also been done here:
http://www.tinderseduction.com/male-model-tinder-case-study/
corsega 7y ago
It's been done:
https://sirtyrionlannister.wordpress.com/
http://archive.is/xcVoo
BendAndSnap- 7y ago
Honestly, this has to be the most motivational shit ever for working out. I don't need preworkout after reading that haha
TitsAndWhiskey 7y ago
Can confirm, am not good looking but have had many tinder girls come over to my place for a first "date"
no_face 7y ago
Oh this is so hard to fathom. Everyone on this sub who has done 5x5 for two months thinks he is 9/10 body. Maybe post a pic?
corsega 7y ago
Not going to post a photo, but my body is very similar to the 1st and 2nd photos here (from this post, highly recommended read). I'm a competitive athlete, I've been lifting for 10 years.
[deleted] 7y ago
So you're a competitive athlete lifting for 10 years with a DYEL body? I'd say 1 and 2 are 6/10 bodies. The 9 is zyzz
lugubriusTRP 7y ago
Brad Pitt's body showcases good genes whilst any girl uneducated in fitness (Every single one BTW) will think zyzz's body is the result of roids, which it is.
Its like the difference between Chad that swirlied you at high school and a beta to alpha on trp.
BendAndSnap- 7y ago
Girls dont even fathom who is using roids. Its is he big and muscley? oh good teehee.
On surveys and polls: Choose the skinny fit guy
Real life clubs and social events/festivals: instantly wet at any dude with zyzz roid physique.
Its only when the roids get to disgusting size etc then desire falls off although you will still get women who love huge "disgusting" muscles.
corsega 7y ago
Clearly you failed to read the article. The whole point is that zyzz was the preferred body type for GUYS (you), yet women rate the first two body types as the most desirable.
beerthroway 7y ago
I read the article and have to point out the standard TRP principle of observing what she does or responds to, not what she says.
Women often SAY they don't like a bulky/bodybuilder type, but many men find as they get larger and larger, women have a harder tine resisting their body, like zyzz.
So in a survey that causes them to use their conscious mind,, they'll say they like the lean dude. FRs seem to indicate that getting that GLO body is really preferred though.
trpftw 7y ago
Articles like that are misleading, and hear me out on this. Just hear me out and I know your gut instinct will be to tell people "I know what I like and I can describe exactly what I like and girls like X because that's what survey-studies showed..." That is your natural gut instinct... but now hear this out:
Girls say: "oh I just want a guy that looks skinny like the 1st or 2nd photo. I just want a skinny good-looking guy." And then they talk dreamily about Hugh Jackman who is roided bodybuilding manliness.
Just like... men say: "Oh I never like women with too much make-up or big plastic tits or anything like that... I just want a skinny good-looking girl." And then you look at all the most-viewed shit on all the porn sites and it's big plastic tits and even the small-tit pornstars wear the most fantastic overly-done make-up.
The only logical conclusion: Men and women don't know what they want, until you show them. And when they talk about what they want, they don't really mean what they say because most average people are not artists/attentive-to-detail.
reigorius 7y ago
Or girls think long-term and short-term. Short-term, than muscular is fine. Long-term, than fit is fine, otherwise there is too much competition from other girls.
tough-tornado-roger 7y ago
I would not say those first two photos are skinny guys. Those bodies are both pretty muscular.
trpftw 7y ago
Yeah I mean though that they usually say they are OK with some skinny guy. They're ok with somewhat muscular guys. And they're ok with very muscular guys.
The reality is, the more muscular, the more desire... except when it becomes disgustingly huge like in a bodybuilding competition. Where it looks like he's pumped so much steroids and growth hormone.
corsega 7y ago
Exactly. The whole "Brad Pitt is so skinny in Fight Club" circlejerk has been done to death on lifting forums every since that movie came out.
You don't just wake up with a physique like that. Go look at other photos of him from the movie. That body takes work to get.
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trpftw 7y ago
Of course. I never referred to Brad Pitt as being skinny.
I was talking about the skinny guys that people show photos about saying "oh yeah I like a skinny guy like that."
[deleted] 7y ago
The most desirable one is coincidently what you are? Keep thinking that. Like zyzz didn't pull mad pussy.
So you're saying basically that you rated your body based on women's opinions, not yours.
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RedEyesBlueShades 7y ago
What a fucking retarded bunch of comments you are making.
Someone has to have a 9/10 body. Why would that not be OP??
Also, I think pic 1 above is Tyler Durden... and Brad Pitt at his best. You have NO idea how many women fucking love that body. So yeah, maybe he's 9/10 according to women. And that's really bad because you lift so Big Black Bubba can shove it up your arse.
[deleted] 7y ago
You're a fucking retard. I called OP out on his bullshit, if you want to stick your finger up your ass and jerk it while you look at some article saying women love the skinny big body, go right ahead. Don't call your body a 9/10 when it's literally DYEL. Do women like that Brad Pitt style body? Sure. Still a 6/10 on the real life non Cosmo magazine scale.
I couldn't give less of a fuck how much I can lift either, but I'm not here humble bragging myself as a 9/10. Take a trip to a real gym and not the local Anytime Fitness and you'll see what's up. I'm sure you're one of those faggots preaching all day how girls don't like "meatheads" while you sit on your couch drinking a coke.
RedEyesBlueShades 7y ago
You talk a whole bunch, but think very little. And don't answer the key point - someone has to have 9/10 body. Why not OP.
Keep telling yourself OP can't have a great body. It's all good, I'm sure OP will go cry to his mommy.
[deleted] 7y ago
Brad Pitt's body is a 6/10? I guess I want a 6/10 body then, as do most men, because most women don't want to ride a 9/10 like the article clearly claims.
If you could fuck a woman out of a cardboard box no man would own a house.
If women didn't like fast cars porsche would go out of business.
As much as you hate it, men desire the zyzz physique because that's what they think most women respond to, however the Brad Pitt style pulls more women according to the numbers.
ShallITinder 7y ago
How many girls are open to coming directly to your place though? I find that some girls are hesitant about it.
[deleted] 7y ago
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Luckyluke23 7y ago
yeah man, you have to have a way to screen girls, you don't want to bring some crazy back to your place.
fruguy 7y ago
I get there a bit early and buy a drink. That way they buy their own when they get there. If things go well we'll shout each other the next couple of rounds.
ChickenBalotelli 7y ago
Solid tactic and thinking right here: The drink out of the house 1st not to "try to get pussy" but to "screen her" and see if she's not just some annoying bag of complaints.
That's a chooser's mentality. OP take note.
corsega 7y ago
Don't have any problem with that method but I read people pretty well and I can tell how someone will be based on their photos and text conversation. Of the girls I've had over, I wouldn't necessarily hang out with all of them again but none of them sucked so much that they annoyed me.
fadadapple 7y ago
Oh I'm sure there was a lot of sucking ;)
Luckyluke23 7y ago
it's not any mentality really, it's just smart game.
ChickenBalotelli 7y ago
I disagree. It's a mentality to be the chooser, vs. the supplicant.
[deleted] 7y ago
I do this consisently, not just with tinder dates
Luckyluke23 7y ago
i would do drink for online game, but in person I'd invite them over if they seem ok.
[deleted] 7y ago
Good points, but keywords are: "If a girl finds you attractive enough."
corsega 7y ago
That should be the key word for every post on this subreddit. Looks are 80%. Here, we discuss the 20% wiggle room.
bokehnikon 7y ago
It might have been your IDGAF attitude that made the difference, not whether you paid or not.
Theophagist 7y ago
Ehhh I always avoid paying. Richard Feynman himself told a story where he bought a couple sandwiches with a girl to take back to her hotel room. She said "I also invited dude X from the bar." "You're worse than a whore." He said with a laugh and asked for the money for her sandwich. He went back to the bar to hang out with his friend (the one mentoring him through picking up girls) and was told "just wait." Later that night he banged her. Go Richard.
trpftw 7y ago
She was a whore tho, that girl had already invited him over to a hotel room. And then shit-tested with inviting another dude too.
But she was already in the bag before that sandwich move.
This won't work on all girls. But he definitely hit a homerun with that shittest. Just blew it out of the water.
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mr_nate_ 7y ago
You're right, but in a girl's mind, you taking her out automatically equates to you GIVING A FUCK. Of course you can fight the uphill battle of shaking her to the core and letting her body buzz in tingles, but a couple taps on an iPhone screen is easier.
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trpftw 7y ago
Yes, very few girls will go for a guy who invites her over to his own place the first date. It's just not gonna happen. Even for sluts it's not gonna happen.
My only guess is that he has a superb body-shot photo, and some girls will make exception to that.
DarkCotton 7y ago
It seems to me like you're using "pre-selection" incorrectly.
corsega 7y ago
Yeah, I think he means self-selection.
[deleted] 7y ago
How? First you have a match, which is just a skewed way of saying i'd let him fuck me. Then you chat, and ask for a date at your place. If she says yes, she is really just appending the original statement with "in the near future". Someones home offers privacy, a prerequisite for the bedside stuff, its litteraly the only advantage it offers hence why its a relevant use of selection. If she says nah id rather meet up in a public place, she might be unsure of wether she is actually DTF, of course she could still be but needs negotiation/silence the inner voice saying "dont be a slut".
corsega 7y ago
You're confusing preselection (PUA/Red Pill terminology) with self-selection (sociology terminology).
ChickenBalotelli 7y ago
I agree with not taking them out to "dinner", but I'm surprised physical escalation and "getting drinks" didn't work. Regardless, it's good advice to have them over at your place : )
corsega 7y ago
Logistics are also tough for me. I live in a residential area with no bars within walking distance. The closest bar is an 8 minute drive away. So a couple times I tried to get them back to my place and failed on logistics, other times I got them back but got tons of LMR. Several girls I continued to see multiple times and didn't get past first base.
uribezmenov 7y ago
I don't know where you live, but where I live its common to live 15-20 minutes away from the bars. So the problem isn't the distance. Also, in my experience girls CONSTANTLY lie about how far away from the bars they live. Weirdest thing. But you can too. 8 minutes becomes 5 minutes and nobody will ever comment on it.
ChickenBalotelli 7y ago
Man, if they're at your house, they're down for the dick. Although I'm not a huge PUA fan these days, some of their techniques might work...specifically cooling down when they say NO for a bit, then obviously attempting again.....Repeat...... Maybe come up with a clever game to play that involves being physical or has the potential?
I think a girl isn't really saying No til she's REALLY saying no.
Or you just kick her out and see if she changes her mind. "welp, I've got an early day tomorrow" and really coolly get her out.
Anybody else have some advice here?
Ricardo2991 7y ago
PUA overall can be hit or miss, but the PUA seduction tactics and seduction tactics in general work quite well.
ItalianoVero 7y ago
See this is why some people had issues with your title. You have your own place (well, a private room at least) and a car. If you were truly broke, you would be working two jobs, taking public transport, or possibly (not necessarily) living with your parents. If you are a student you are even more broke in terms of money AND time. That's when getting girls is really hard if you aren't in the top 5%.
corsega 7y ago
I don't have a car, I bike/public transport. And yes, I have a private room. Private rooms cost $400 to rent at the very lowest in many major cities. You don't have to be the top 5% to afford that.
If you want to make getting laid a priority, make the changes in your life to make it a priority. Don't whine about how life's not fair.
ItalianoVero 7y ago
Ok I guess I misinterpreted your financial situation. Your tactics still seem pretty bewildering. Are you really good looking? Shredded? Just trying to get a bearing on what is realistic so I know how much I need to improve.
corsega 7y ago
Shredded, but not good looking. I would guess that most of my success on Tinder at all is due to my body. Lift :-)
kalo_asmi 7y ago
Can you cite the body type? I'm in the same 5-6/10 face looks range and curious as to what size and cut to aim for? Also, do you have any tattoos or piercings?
corsega 7y ago
Posted elsewhere in the thread. No tattoos, no piercings. I'm not interested in alternative girls or cultivating that look.
kalo_asmi 7y ago
You mean the Fight Club Brad Pitt look? Thanks.
aanarchist 7y ago
did you also save the gas in your car by picking you up herself?
[deleted] 7y ago
How do you look like if you have this much success?
ReddittFeist 7y ago
Read this story on the physics of what you said :)
http://www.e-reading.club/chapter.php/71262/34/Feynman_-_Surely_Youre_Joking,_Mr._Feynman__Adventures_of_a_Curious_Character.html
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Location location location
KartagoPill 7y ago
This guy gets this. Give that man a cookie.
teakettle3 7y ago
what are you poor? 15-30 dollars is like 1 round of drinks.
troll16 7y ago
I live in SoFlo near Fort lauderdale and all it's beaches. Easiest, cheap date you can do.
"let's hit the beach, meet me at (halfway point between both our houses) at 7. We can catch the sunset too."
Then I just drive to a quiet beach that has a fishing pier that you can walk out on for 2$ each person, pay for parking another $4 and that's it. Bam, admire the beach because it is a beautiful spot and I could enjoy it for hours alone even, talk, makeout, go back to whoevers place. Repeat
[deleted] 7y ago
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troll16 7y ago
Fuarrkkk I'll contribute my Spanish Kielbasa to this bratwurtsing
Hungryforfood2000 7y ago
Note to self: but a house to invite chicks over.
note-to-self-bot 7y ago
Just in case you forgot:
but a house to invite chicks over.
Hungryforfood2000 7y ago
:( but I'm poor. Was what i was going to say. But in reality i co-bought a house with my brother 4 months ago, to rent for people. So i don't live there.
RealRational 7y ago
If you can afford to live on your own, you are, by definition, not "broke".
thawayred 7y ago
please, stop lying to yourself and on the internet. your "being broke" is different to other's "being broke".
Still, I upvoted the post because the medium is the message. You clearly stated your intentions and either she accepts or denies. no mind games.
subtle_nirvana92 7y ago
To be fair, he didn't say homeless.
corsega 7y ago
I rent a room in the cheapest house around in one of the most expensive cities in the country. Android phones cost $300.
If you're homeless and phoneless, not much I can do for you.
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bonekeeper 7y ago
Can one even jerk off with an old Nokia at their mom's basement? Reception must be terrible.
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thawayred 7y ago
What country? If you don't mind?
The average pay here is 3€/hr and rending an apartment cost so much. Most of people here live rat race, and the TRP's broke is much different from what I've seen around IRL
corsega 7y ago
USA. I do realize that other countries exist but the majority of this subreddit's readership is from North America so that's what this advice is targeted towards.
[deleted] 7y ago
3E/h? What are you Romanian? Average wages are HIGHER in Europe proper than in the US.
spacecase89 7y ago
I like this method and try to implement it, but I usually get stood up after making plans at my place. Do you think it is just a case of not lifting enough?
corsega 7y ago
You will have a higher flake rate with this method. There's no way around it. There have been girls in which I either subtly or clearly stated my intention was for them to come over, and they agreed, but when we actually made plans, they said they don't come right over to people's houses.
Just next them, there are plenty of other girls.
Ricardo2991 7y ago
Getting flaked on is one of the best things that can happen to you... It teaches you to not care so much and is great practice for maintain frame.
spacecase89 7y ago
Yeah, that's true, I have been improving my frame through this.
Ricardo2991 7y ago
You can also read The Speed of Trust, if you think it's a trust issue.
Anyways, women are not men. They don't value commitment like we do.
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Steve_Wiener 7y ago
These were all from tinder?
corsega 7y ago
Half from Tinder half from Bumble. Bumble leans older and towards more serious stuff but you will still find girls that are down. Plus, they message you first so you at least know they're interested.
mojo_juju 7y ago
regarding your method on Tinder
This has only worked for me a couple times. and they were both because I lowered my standards heavily to get laid: banged some plumpkins.
that was back when i first discovered tinder... I also had my own 1 BR apartment. (Currently living with a roommate)
anyways, practically all women I've talked to want to at least meet somewhere else first. makes sense-- kind of weird to go straight to a stranger's place with the intention to hang out (AKA bang out). yeah, most people aren't serial killers-- in fact the vast majority. Still, there could be some out there.
While I'd like to try your method, I don't want to lose a hot babe by trying it.
corsega 7y ago
Agreed that the higher difference in SMV between you and the girl, the less likely this is to work. Also, culutural/age differences (Europeans and women over 30 are less likely to want to come right over).
[deleted] 7y ago
Where are you located— Europe?
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microwave44 7y ago
this is your biggest problemo amigo
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qiang_shi 7y ago
Probably quote that, or it subs like your promoting bp
microwave44 7y ago
well that was almost english
p3n1x 7y ago
"don't want to lose a hot babe".... Work on that first. That is oneitus 101
dingman58 7y ago
Agreed here. You can't be worried about losing a girl you've never had. Not going to get very far doing that
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killm3throwaway 7y ago
No it is not, hes saying he'd rather not fuck up his shot at fucking a hot girl. Oneitis? No, he's just thinking practically.
elevul 7y ago
While true, it's extremely important for your mindset to not have ANYTHING that is even remotely about qualifying yourself to her. And if you're starting to think of what not to do to avoid "losing" her then you start qualifying yourself and slowly pedestalizing her because she's a hot girl.
killm3throwaway 7y ago
I agree, but the dude that the other guy tried to shit on was just trying to make sure he doesnt fumble his chances before hes even begun.
[deleted] 7y ago
I think most are scared of being catfished, so they at least want to meet for coffee..
I've been catfished myself, will never invite one directly over again
corsega 7y ago
If you have concerns about catfishing, get the girl to send a photo of her holding a spoon. Added bonus that getting her to send you a photo like this is a huge compliance test, she's going to feel more invested.
mojo_juju 7y ago
What happened in the catfishing scenario? we need the deets
[deleted] 7y ago
Ehh, I still fuvked her, but she was a little rougher then I expected
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draftmasterx 7y ago
How was that catfishing? Maybe I'm misunderstanding the term.
[deleted] 7y ago
Her picture wasn't accurate..
corsega 7y ago
That's not catfishing. It's just deception. Catfishing is pretending to be a completely different person, like 300lb Jamal pretending he's 18/f/ca.
killm3throwaway 7y ago
Well last time I got catfished we hung out anyway, he gave better head than my gf.
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Man-being 7y ago
So you discovered netflix and chill a year and a half after it became a meme? Cool story, bro. Tell it again.
unptitdej 7y ago
I'm happy it works out for you but why are you paying for drinks? I enjoy dates because I get to go out and discover a new woman. I only pay my part. If it works out we can go to my place or her place. If it doesn't work out it doesn't work out. Also, a date is also for you to screen her out. I think you project a much better SMV by not having her at your apartment right away because she has to work for it too. Just my thought, but if you fuck a ton with your way of doing things and you feel that photos and tinder conversations are plenty to screen someone then you're ahead of all of us and I'm happy for you bro!
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[deleted] 7y ago
You didn't get any STD's from doing this?
corsega 7y ago
Not that I know of, but I'm setting up tests right now. I've only fucked one of these girls raw and it was a girl I trusted that I saw more than once that swore up and down she was clean.
Read this if you are scared of STDs:
http://markmanson.net/std-guide
[deleted] 7y ago
What would people suggest for those who DON'T have their own place?
[deleted] 7y ago
Seems like a good first goal, doesn't it?
ex_addict_bro 7y ago
Those should get a single mom with BPD, saggy tits and a big flat paid by ex addict husband.
[deleted] 7y ago
Gee, if only we knew someone like that...
If only.
Lol, pawning off your sloppy seconds
ex_addict_bro 7y ago
"How can an angel break my heart"
juliusstreicher 7y ago
Trying to get out from under alimony!
Theophagist 7y ago
In the East Bay in California It's not a realistic goal for anyone making under 40k.
[deleted] 7y ago
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Theophagist 7y ago
I'm sorry, what is it that you mean?
Ricardo2991 7y ago
Hotel... In Japan meeting at the hotel is common. In America, we have cheap motels everywhere.
uribezmenov 7y ago
One of the first "pua's" (before it was even a thing) had this great video on how he had sex with girls in his car/club bathrooms because he didn't have his own place. He also didn't have money to buy drinks if i'm remembering right. Really funny to hear his method (Called himself the comeback kid or something similar). Just to show that not having your own place is a hurdle, but you can definitely overcome.
Sometimes when I sleep with a girl, I want to be able to leave quickly after, not bother my roommates, we're far away from my place, etc. This is how I do it/would do it if I didn't have a place.
Meet somewhere neutral (bar, or coffee place). One drink here. "I heard xyz down the street is cool."
Second nearby bar, one drink. In this time you "find the exits. "What part of town do you live in? Roommates? Pets?" etc. Then, "There's this really cool movie/thing on the internet I have to show you.." If she says whose place you say,
"I'd love to see your place.. my roommate has his parents in town for dinner/roommate is studying/ Internet went out last night", etc.
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[deleted] 7y ago
Go out with friends, do something objectively fun, subjectively fun or all three.
I don't care how much confidence you have. It's tough to sit down with someone at a venue and just go. That's just not objectively fun, imho; like I'd never go on a 'bro-date' to an otherwise normal venue. It's amazing though what activities are going on for free. Last month, for example, there was a LEGO, municipal zoo and brew day. Two weeks ago a museum had wine and astrology. That's objectively fun.
It's also got to be subjectively fun. OP doesn't have a spot outside his house he's comfortable in but he went out anyhow, he doesn't like spending 1 on 1 time but does it anyhow with someone new, he doesn't really drink but invited girls to drink and he was stressing about money but still spent money.
Tbh, I think the take away point is less 'invite them to your house' as much as it is 'you are not going to have fun if you are not having fun.' Fun doesn't just magically happen. Do something you like or do something you want to like enough times until you're comfortable with it. Find a place to hang that you can smile in without grimacing.
The girls who showed up to these dates who played out the clock had a big buy in. Those are potential closes. No conversion to actual closes indicates that there is a problem but it isn't the girls it's him. I think he's coming up with some crazy rationalizations like it was the girls fault that he couldn't close and that once dates came to his place they suddenly changed--as if those who came to venues were unwilling to come to his house--which is a bizarre thing to say aloud, much less take seriously.
Original_Dankster 7y ago
AirBnB. Rent a private condo in a trendy part of town. Just make sure that the pictures don't make it look to "feminine".
Fucking LOVE AirBnB. Love it.
RandyHatesCats 7y ago
Unless you're 100% sure she's DTF, this is a stupid idea.
Canadaismyhat 7y ago
That certainly makes it more challenging depending on how much you've worked on your skillset. A buddy of mine recently got a drink with a girl and fucked her in a tree walking back to the car..
KnopflerisGod 7y ago
Bullshit, trees don't walk.
[deleted] 7y ago
He mistook an ent for a tree.
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bokehnikon 7y ago
The title of the post "Being Broke . . " seems to imply OP has nothing when in fact he has his own place, assuming it's not mom's basement.
J_AsapGem 7y ago
This.it caught my curiousity until i saw he had his own place
draketton 7y ago
The actual point of this post is "don't try to win over girls with free stuff."
corsega 7y ago
I don't have my own place, per se. I live with three roommates in an apartment in a not-great area of town.
Sometimes if my roommates are around or if there's people hanging out at our place and I can't be alone with the girl, I ask about her roommate situation and hint at doing things at her place. Just be upfront and say "Hey there's people over at my place, how about we make dinner at yours?"
mr_nate_ 7y ago
Just leave your door wide open and tell her to moan as loud as humanly possible. You'll have an empty house in no time.
getRedPill 7y ago
Or people taking pictures and videos with their phones and posting on social media
microwave44 7y ago
this is actually the state of affairs in 2016
selfie with your climaxing friend as a prank
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getRedPill 7y ago
Somehow you need the "Date" part, i.e. go out together only you 2. This serves as a previous layer to know her better, see red flags and screen out possible crazy specimens.
Home is a very private place, you don't want anyone in or know where you live
__ROOSTER__ 7y ago
agreed 100%
I went from couple drink "dates", to meeting for a coffee to confirm we were into each other, to being able to figure it all out online and just have them come over.
getting a new chick a week to just come over became pretty easy
KaptainCavy 7y ago
When I go out on 'dates' with chicks I just don't pay. If the host/hostess doesn't separate the check I asked them to do so. But the key is to always bring chicks back to the house, so your method is great too. I like going out to bars/clubs. Everyone has to work with what they like, nothing more. If you have the money, sure spend it on the chicks. Let's get real though, if your not pounding drinks in her or tossing Gs on bottle service, your money is worthless. Any chump can buy her dinner. I think I'm just here to validate your post OP.
[deleted] 7y ago
How do you get them to accept to come at your place ? how much do you invest in tinder conversation ?
corsega 7y ago
Make it sound fun and exciting. Personally, I love cooking, so I get them talking about food and then imply that I think we should cook dinner together at mine. Sometimes I even send photos of past meals I've cooked.
And wine. I don't really drink, but girls LOVE wine.
10-15 lines before I get the number, texting is used for light flirting but mostly logistics, I set up the meet right away. If you want to invite girls right over you generally have to invest more than if you were meeting them in public. I haven't done this yet but I might start calling the more attractive ones to build rapport.
[deleted] 7y ago
Never done the calling but i think is a good idea... it looks to me you absolutely need to give her a "not creepy" vibe in order to be able to invite them first date at your place.
Also, could you give informations on your tinder pics? Also are you living in a city ?
corsega 7y ago
Main shot is me in a nice dress shirt, taken with a DSLR. Not looking at the camera, not smiling. Girls have remarked it makes me look like a movie star.
Second shot is me doing one of my hobbies (outdoors).
Third shot is a super douchey shirtless photo showing off my abs. It is pretty clear that I took this myself but it's not a selfie. Again, not smiling but looking at the camera. Funny story about this, the girl I hooked up with last night told me she showed me profile to her three female coworkers and they were scrolling through the photos and all gasped when they got to this one.
Fourth photo is me with a couple friends, smiling (social proof).
Yeah, I live in a city.
top-notch-alpha 7y ago
I suggest you get some cameras inside your house.
tehgreatist 7y ago
Sorry bud but the only girls who are going to blindly show up at your house without meeting you first are either stupid, ugly, or desperate. Probably some combination of the 3. I'm not saying you need to go trickin, but I don't believe this horse shit story.
[deleted] 7y ago
try it and get your own results
tehgreatist 7y ago
I have. I swear, some people In here act like they are the first to ever have success on tinder.
I'm just warning guys about a bad approach. Asking a girl to come over to your house before you even meet can be a big red flag, especially if you won't compromise. Even if she is down, she falls in to one of the criteria I mentioned earlier.
Do you really want to take advice from the 31 year old guy who pretends to see 19 year old girls on the side of his relationship?
Bitcoin-FTW 7y ago
Good post, and yes, dating can be cheap if done right. I'd even go so far as to argue that doing a cheap date is a much better way to start a relationship with a womanZ
However, let's not pretend there isn't a correlation between wealth and happiness/confidence. Getting in shape costs money even.
Put in another way: if your finances aren't on lock, or at least on the way to being on lock, you shouldn't really be wasting time dating ImO.
WIS_pilot 7y ago
I'd say I'm above average attractiveness, I'm an airline pilot, and I make ~$25,000 a year. I get laid more often than guys that make triple my salary. Younger women just don't really care about how much money you make.
CRITICAL9 7y ago
Any luck with Bumble? Never used it but I read about how it makes the woman send the first message. How does that work out for you, I could imagine it leading to low smv guys being shit out of luck?
corsega 7y ago
Correct, if you are low SMV you first of all won't get matches because their algorithm sorts more or less by percentage of right swipes, and second of all won't get messages if you do get matches.
CRITICAL9 7y ago
Yeah, also I heard lots of girls don't realise that that they have to send the first message and as matches disappear after a day nothing happens. Sounds like a waste to time but I'm still going to try it because I want to see how lame the first messages are from women.
[deleted] 7y ago
I have better success on dates in which we got dutch and pay only what we drank or ate, than when I picked up the tab. I just seem to next women who don't even offer to split the check on the first date.
beastboi27 7y ago
Last date was a long time ago..social dating apps don't help and hardly ever venture out to bars..too much anxiety to cold approah without alcohol. My excuses is i can't drive, i have to share a small room with my brother and i don't have a job right now. I tried getting a couple girls over but they always flaked out..even though they are the ones coming onto me..doesn't make any sense. I've tried getting advice like take art classes, go hiking..etc to meet girls but they are mostly old people on meetup. I don't know what else to do and i really don't want to waste another year like this.
corsega 7y ago
You are not in a place to be with women right now. Monk mode, bro. Work on yourself. Get a job. Move out and get your own room.
beastboi27 7y ago
Lol yeahh. That isn't possible for me to do right now. Wish it was that easy. I have gone through a few huge setbacks that are keeping me from really moving forward with my life and that's going to take...awhile. thing is, I'm not going to wait until I'm in my 30s to try and get a gf. I rather not try at all.