how to be alpha while suffering from erectile dysfunction? | TheRedPill

Forums.Red / TheRedPill / Uncategorized

rudi22

Posted 11y ago in Uncategorized - Permalink - Locked - 164 Views

hi guys,

i discovered this whole pua, game, redpill, manosphere stuff a few month ago. i was/am a member of r/nofap which lead me to seddit and from there i stumbled across this great place here.

as some of you might know, the heavy use of porn from an early age on, can couse erectile dysfunction. i havent watched porn for more the 100 days straight now and im working on getting my E.D. healed (thanks to this great board). but i am still not where i want to be. to be clear: i sometimes wont get hard even with a hot girl on top of me and i sometimes get flaccid while having sex. then there are also times where i have premature ejaculation, meaning i can only last for a few minutes.

it wasn't always like that and im confident in getting back to normal in few moth, maybe a year.

so i started to use some of the red pill stuff i learned in here, on a girl i met a few weeks ago. for example we were texting at one night and where my old beta habbits would always try to be charming and nice, i started to be more sexual, i even thought i went a bit to far by saying what i would do to here if she would come over to my place. to my surprise it worked and she came over to my place after work at 12.00 pm in the night. so i guess she was kinda turned on...

but when she was at my place, i couldn't deliver. i got scared and was asking myself what would happen if i couldn't get a boner. so we just watched 2 movies and went to sleep ( holy shit. can't get more beta). okay next morning i got my shit together and started some moves. she was fighting it and said she had to go home, to feed her pet. she also said that i had the whole night and didn't do nothing. but i staid on top of her. i was persistent while undressing her. she kinda fought back in playful way but i could tell, that she was aroused and that she wanted to sleep with me (of course i would never force girl to have sex with me!) so finally she gave in! i think me being bossy turned her on so hard, that she came in like 30sec. i never made a girl come this fast!

over the course of the next few weeks we had sex a few more times but it was't really that good. mainly because i came to fast or i wasn't able to keep up my erection.

so the question is, how can i still be confident, aloof and in a sexual frame where i am the leader, if at the same time i can not perform sexually as man should?

i try to not let i get to me. i try to be cool about it. but to be honest, it really is a fucking pain in the ass and it is eating my confidence little by little.....

Permalink

zionController 11y ago

Bro, bro, bro. Its not about her. Its not about going too fast. It doesn't matter if she gets off. It matters that YOU get off. The more you get off the more she will get off, which doesn't matter, but is an added benefit.

To have a boner, you need to be in the right frame. You need to be thinking "I'm gonna plough through this woman" - Its a very alpha mindset. If you experience the feeling of worry, it won't happen. If you experience anxiety, it won't happen, if you experience fear, it won't happen, if you need to pee so bad you might not make it to the bathroom... it won't happen. You get it right? She doesn't. She can just spread'em. She can feel weak and scared like a lost little girl and she's still good to go, and she'll think thats the way you're wired too. You're not. You sleep with her when you decide you're going to. If she's in your apartment, thats permission enough to escalate. Unless there is a clear "NO! STOP" you just go about your business.

Another note on confidence. The way you type suggests insecurity about this issue. Not capitalizing "i" for instance. Your weiner is fine. Its your mindset. What the best way to fix that? Go to the gym, put on 5 pounds, eat right. The first time someone says "Hey rudi22, have you been working out?" You'll feel like a rockstar and you'll say "Yeah a little" because no one likes a braggart. When that happens this problem will likely solve itself.

No fapping. I don't go at it for at least two, sometimes three days before I expect to meet someone. Work out a little before hand. I love a nice shoulder workout before I'm having company over.

Remind yourself that YOU ARE THE PRIZE and that its ABOUT YOU and no one else. She's there to get YOU off, not the other way around, partner.

Also, once you have sex a few hundred or thousand times, you will really internalize that going in a few minutes is sweet. Sweet man, Sweet! I go like twice a day, and I def don't wanna spend 30 minutes. anything over 15 is a bore. I have needs. Not enough time in the day to do everything. Don't worry about time. Its ABOUT YOU. If it lasts long its because YOU WANT IT TO LAST LONG. If not, meh.

Also, welcome.

rudi22 11y ago

Holy shit, that was redpill-slap in my bluepill-face and I needed it!

Thanks bro!

[deleted] 11y ago

You should feel like Tina after that. Now pay homage in the Temple of Iron until you feel like Ike.

zionController 11y ago

I'm glad you found that useful. Took me years of trial and error.

Also, you're not the first and won't be the last to go soft at some point. I was doing a girl doggy style who used to be fat but lost some weight and got fit. Anyway, as a side effect her boobs felt like deflated flesh balloons. Super gros. Anyway, I grabbed them while I was doing her doggy style and bam, soft as jello in about 2.5 seconds.

Also, nerves will play an effect too. Just start to have a dominant mind set. Focus on you, and everything else will fall into place. Tell her what a whore she is while you bang her. I love doing that.

RedHonest 11y ago

Dunno, I usually have the opposite problem: Sometimes I can't come at all. I last all night, and she gets butt hurt. But I finally figured out the psychological component to my arousal.

But here's my advice: Stop psyching yourself out while having sex. Just stop thinking and go with it, or whatever you need to think about while having sex that...holy shit, I'm in control. Look what I'm fucking doing to her...heheh.

But the rest of the day is where you're going to get your confidence. Exercise, you want that testosterone pumping. Be a boss in your career. Accomplish 12 things that day...normally you can only do 2 or 3. Show dominance in your interactions: Just assume you've already won, and wait for them to fold.

Be the prize.

redpillschool Admin 11y ago

as some of you might know, the heavy use of porn from an early age on, can couse erectile dysfunction.

I've never heard a reliable source say this. Does anybody have further insight on that?

I'm sure it's more common than anybody wants to believe. I discovered that I have a really hard time (lol) with even an ounce of alcohol in me. I've learned various tricks, like pretend to drink, or sip my drinks slowly.

All-in-all, ED becomes a feedback loop. I remember the first time I had a problem (it was medication related but I didn't know it at the time) it seriously fucked with my head. Then I had anxiety the next time, which of course causes it to get worse, not better.

Have you considered Viagra?

One thing that I have done - when it happens and I'm not expecting it, is to do oral/hand stuff on her, and then turn the situation around.

After she has one or two orgasms, look at her and say "we should take it slow.."

rudi22 11y ago

thanks for your response. i dont want to use viagra because in the long run i think it is healthier to solve the real problems behind it.

for some info on the E.D. start with this video. this is how i discovered that stuff, too.

redpillschool Admin 11y ago

i dont want to use viagra because in the long run i think it is healthier to solve the real problems behind it.

I'm not an expert, so take this with a grain of salt, but I'm under the impression that sometimes it can't just be "reasoned" away.

But assuming that this is entirely psychological, wouldn't it make sense to at least try it to jump-start your confidence, so you don't feel so anxious?

sambowilkins 11y ago

I want to make it clear that the connection between porn consumption and ED is a non-thing. The speaker in that TED-X video is largely referencing Zimbardo's writing in The Demise of Guys, a book that pathologizes the MGTOW generation. I have not seen anything to indicate a connection between porn and ED.

Which for you means your issue lay elsewhere. I would suggest consulting a doctor as ED is a medical issue and should be dealt with as such.