I originally posted this as a newbie and it was removed by AutoMod, so I’m reposting.

One of the bad ideas that I used embrace and something that held me back from having successful relationships with women in my Blue Pill days was the idea that to have a good romantic relationship, your girlfriend had to be your best friend.

Now that I’m Red Pill aware, I realize just how bad that advice is. If you Google [“Marry Your Best Friend”]( https://www.google.com/search?q=marry+your+best+friend&oq=marry+your+best+friend&aqs=chrome..69i57.4631j0j1&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8) or [“My Girlfriend is My Best Friend”]( https://www.google.com/search?q=dread+game&oq=dread+game&aqs=chrome..69i57.2335j0j1&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8#q=my+girlfriend+is+my+best+friend), you’ll see just how pervasive this advice is and why so many men would buy into this.

On the surface it kind of makes sense. Why not be really good friends with the woman who you will spend so much of your time with?

The reason why this is such bad advice is that it comes from the perspective of women, who don’t have a rational understanding of the true nature of their relationship with men.

To women, a friend is someone who understands them, will listen to their problems and invest in them emotionally without an expectation of performance. Can a man appear to do this for a woman and still have a good relationship? Sure. A man with game who understands female emotions can give the appearance, from a woman’s perspective, of being her friend. The problem is, from a man’s perspective, a woman he’s fucking can never be a true friend to him.

Sex is about domination, where a female submits her body to a man she deems superior in some way. Male friendship is about a relationship of equals. We bond with guys we respect or even look up to. When men try to befriend women the same way we do other men, we end up placing women in an equal or superior position, which ultimately jeopardizes the dominant position that’s so critical to maintaining good sexual relationships with women.

Being a friend to your woman in the same way you would a man can also absolve her of the expectation of performance and reduce the sexual tension that leads to attraction. If you treat her the same way you would a friend, it’s tougher to run dread game or impose radio silence when she misbehaves. The boundaries that are critical to maintaining a good relationship are harder to impose and enforce if she’s your “friend”.

Do women I’m with express the desire to be friends? Sure. I used to take that to mean that I should treat the women I wanted to be with in sexual relationships as equals, like my male friends. After being cheated on and disrespected a few times, I reevaluated my position and changed my approach.

Now, being "friends" with a woman means we can share interests and have a good time together, she can accompany me to activities that I enjoy and I’ll listen to a few of her problems while I’m lying in bed resting after sex. She perceives that I’m a good friend because of the way I make her feel. I grasp the reality, however, that she’s my woman, not my equal, and she definitely cannot be my friend in the same way a man would be.