Chatting Her Up: Beta Bait, With a Side of Nuked Hamster

In fairness, this was more of a tactical nuke, but the message conveyed was important.

So was out with a dancer this week.^1 She comfort tests me with some beta bait.

Her: "Will you still love me if I get fat?"

Now, the beta move is to offer her loads of comfort about how, ofc, you would always wuv her, forever and ever, no matter what, yada, yada, even if she devolved into some form of Bridge Troll.^2 Because that's what Billy Betafags and Nice Guys^TM do.

But, ofc, I didn't do that. I could have gone with something more abstract like "Still love you? I don't love you now," but that would have been less to the point. So with a look of half-disgust and half-confusion, I said:

"No."

I don't think a man had been that direct with her before. Plus I was looking at her with an expression of "surely you can't be that retarded?" on my face. She was a bit (only mildly) shocked, and I waited for it to pass and said, "Men care about this" and I made an hourglass shape in the air with my hands. "You have a lovely body. Don't waste it by getting fat."

This was met with a rapid-fire torrent of her qualifying herself to me about how she'd never get fat, and I shouldn't worry about it, etc., etc. I replied, "Good girl," and the conversation moved on.

The point here is that you should (a) maintain frame, (b) reject beta bait, and (c) set proper expectations. That last thing is important and carries more (pardon the pun) weight that you would think. My OLTR1 mentioned in a conversation that I'd told her once that by 26 her beauty would have faded and the bloom would be off the rose, as it were. Now, I said that to her more than a year ago, but it stuck with her, and has helped guide her behavior - I said it in the context of her drinking more alcohol than she "should", etc.^3 so I effectively "dreaded" her, but I did have her best interests in mind. Mine also, ofc, because I like her pretty, and don't want her to waste it, stupidly, on things like too much booze, cigs or drugs (she neither smokes nor does drugs and understands that either of those would be an immediate "dump-able" offense.) Women should be taught to fear the Wall^SPLAT! and to do all that they can to forestall their arrival at it.

Am I a mean or callous guy? Probably, but my girls don't turn into fatties because I've given them too much comfort, either. If that makes me a bad guy, I'm fine with it. Also, it's in their interest, not just mine, for them to maintain their looks. So that makes me a giver. /s

Takeaways:

  • Reject "beta bait". If she says stuff that's clearly designed to get you to tell her how pretty, or smart, or charming she is, or is "fishing for compliments", then that's beta bait.

  • Maintain frame. You lead, she follows, no exceptions.

  • Feminine women respond to, and do better under, masculine leadership. Set proper expectations. Praise proper behavior. Impose discipline when necessary.

Now go forth and SLAY!

^1 Ballet. Not strip.

^2 There is also the Blooper/naggy feminista "But what if it wasn't her FAULT? What if she had kids? What if she got infected with some kind of Space AIDS that made her gain weight, huh? What about that you misogynist bastard?!" To which I reply, "Men like what they like. If that upsets you, go argue with God. Or Nature. Or aliens. Or whomever put us here. Also, there have been zero reported cases of 'Space AIDS' that cause women to pork up."

^3 There is an age when only "too much" is enough and she was 21 at the time. Also - and men are well advised to heed this, also - you can't "out-exercise" cigs, drugs, shitty food, etc. All that stuff shows back up on your face and body when you're 40. And use sunscreen. No lie.