Chatting Her Up: Beta Bait, With a Side of Nuked Hamster
In fairness, this was more of a tactical nuke, but the message conveyed was important.
So was out with a dancer this week.^1 She comfort tests me with some beta bait.
Her: "Will you still love me if I get fat?"
Now, the beta move is to offer her loads of comfort about how, ofc, you would always wuv her, forever and ever, no matter what, yada, yada, even if she devolved into some form of Bridge Troll.^2 Because that's what Billy Betafags and Nice Guys^TM do.
But, ofc, I didn't do that. I could have gone with something more abstract like "Still love you? I don't love you now," but that would have been less to the point. So with a look of half-disgust and half-confusion, I said:
"No."
I don't think a man had been that direct with her before. Plus I was looking at her with an expression of "surely you can't be that retarded?" on my face. She was a bit (only mildly) shocked, and I waited for it to pass and said, "Men care about this" and I made an hourglass shape in the air with my hands. "You have a lovely body. Don't waste it by getting fat."
This was met with a rapid-fire torrent of her qualifying herself to me about how she'd never get fat, and I shouldn't worry about it, etc., etc. I replied, "Good girl," and the conversation moved on.
The point here is that you should (a) maintain frame, (b) reject beta bait, and (c) set proper expectations. That last thing is important and carries more (pardon the pun) weight that you would think. My OLTR1 mentioned in a conversation that I'd told her once that by 26 her beauty would have faded and the bloom would be off the rose, as it were. Now, I said that to her more than a year ago, but it stuck with her, and has helped guide her behavior - I said it in the context of her drinking more alcohol than she "should", etc.^3 so I effectively "dreaded" her, but I did have her best interests in mind. Mine also, ofc, because I like her pretty, and don't want her to waste it, stupidly, on things like too much booze, cigs or drugs (she neither smokes nor does drugs and understands that either of those would be an immediate "dump-able" offense.) Women should be taught to fear the Wall^SPLAT! and to do all that they can to forestall their arrival at it.
Am I a mean or callous guy? Probably, but my girls don't turn into fatties because I've given them too much comfort, either. If that makes me a bad guy, I'm fine with it. Also, it's in their interest, not just mine, for them to maintain their looks. So that makes me a giver. /s
Takeaways:
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Reject "beta bait". If she says stuff that's clearly designed to get you to tell her how pretty, or smart, or charming she is, or is "fishing for compliments", then that's beta bait.
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Maintain frame. You lead, she follows, no exceptions.
- Feminine women respond to, and do better under, masculine leadership. Set proper expectations. Praise proper behavior. Impose discipline when necessary.
Now go forth and SLAY!
^1 Ballet. Not strip.
^2 There is also the Blooper/naggy feminista "But what if it wasn't her FAULT? What if she had kids? What if she got infected with some kind of Space AIDS that made her gain weight, huh? What about that you misogynist bastard?!" To which I reply, "Men like what they like. If that upsets you, go argue with God. Or Nature. Or aliens. Or whomever put us here. Also, there have been zero reported cases of 'Space AIDS' that cause women to pork up."
^3 There is an age when only "too much" is enough and she was 21 at the time. Also - and men are well advised to heed this, also - you can't "out-exercise" cigs, drugs, shitty food, etc. All that stuff shows back up on your face and body when you're 40. And use sunscreen. No lie.
Trooper_1868 5y ago
Most girls I hooked up with got fatter after me. I think thats good right?
Andyive 5y ago
This applies to what I did recently. I told my girlfriend that she looks great in makeup because she still looks beautiful without it and she shouldn’t just put make up on just cuz she “feels like it”, it will hurt the longevity of her face and that’s is perhaps the most direct I’ve ever been with her about something because she’s the type of girl to constantly wear make up, and I am being genuine when I say she still looks good without it. She’s started to get bags in her eyes, and this also apart of sleep loss but it does also help to limit the use of make up
ozaku7 5y ago
Men should just be straight up honest. Neither would I be able to still love a hambeast. It's women who don't love themselves who allow themselves to get fat.
Well, there are a few who love themselves while they are hambeasts, but that's just their own fallacy protecting their emotions, and it's also the easiest way out instead of diet and fitness.
C2074579 5y ago
It's liberating to have standards and have a strong defense towards the manipulations of women. Side note: You telling me to go "SLAY!" made in laugh inwardly because I always see girls using that phrase (Ooooo, Girl SLAY).
odin1111 5y ago
thanks for this Uncle Vas, love your posts.
mette13 5y ago
Good post OP. Idc if the post can be summed up in a paragraph, its lengthy posts from EC's that make up the popular posts on this subreddit.
Kurush559 5y ago
I've only ever plated dancers (usually ballet). They have an internal self-sustaining 'don't get fat' mechanism
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Oh, no doubt. I suspect that's part of why she immediately started gushing about how she'd never let herself get fat, etc.
chrisname 5y ago
I thought you passed comfort tests by giving actual comfort.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
If you continuously give on comfort, you wind up with a 400 lb, entitled wife.
Truedemocracy4 5y ago
Who also views herself above you. It's amazing really. You could have six pack six figure six feet tall chad date chubby do nothing loser, but if he puts her on a pedestal she WILL eventually see herself as above him and treat him like shit
FormerBlueFool 5y ago
So true. Made this mistake early in life. Not with fat chicks, but same idea.
chrisname 5y ago
Even if you pass shit tests? With my ex if I thought she genuinely wanted comfort I would give it, the rest of the time I would give her shit (e.g. mime reeling in a fish when she’s fishing for compliments). I wouldn’t call it a comfort test if she doesn’t want comfort, that’s a shit test in disguise.
She did eventually lose respect for me but that’s because I was too passive and disorganised. I’m pretty good with shit tests, but if you’re not a good leader they see you as immature and think you’re entitled for wanting sex (it becomes transactional).
By the way do/did you have a YT channel called something like VasiliyZTv?
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Nope, nvr had a YouTube channel.
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KeffirLime 5y ago
In my early relationships, I'd always make promises I couldn't keep simply to avoid what I thought would make her sad. I thought she'd value my consideration of her feelings, instead they we're thrown in my face, and eroded attraction. Comfort tests are more important than some retards in the comments picked up.
They're the weapons used in the battle of emotional conquest. You keep failing these, she conquers, loses attraction and moves on.
They would ask me "Will you love me forever", "Do you look at other girls" previously I'd say "Yeah, ofcourse" or "No, never" thinking I'd just made her happy and avoided confrontation. Instead she'd start coming down with princess syndrome.
Now I simply say "I don't know how I'll feel next week, keep behaving and I'll keep loving you" or "Yes, ofcourse, I do"
It, was extremely uncomfortable to be this direct at first but It gets a lot easier. You don't have to say it in a mean way, just direct. Their "I need to win over his approval" mechanisms kick into overdrive, that's how you get rewarded.
Learn how to embrace direct answers, get comfortable doing it and never avoid confrontation in favor of comfort.
ozaku7 5y ago
How would any human be able to love someone who is full of shit?
KeffirLime 5y ago
You love them conditionally and for what they are.
ozaku7 5y ago
I mean that you cannot bullshit a woman, because she will smell it. In the end she just thinks you're a pushover who would stay with a woman who becomes fat. On the opposite side, she would leave your ass, so you don't share the same values.
A man knows what he is worth, and a woman wants a man who would be capable of walking away, not some beta faggot who would stay with her no matter what just so he has someone who he could call a girlfriend and not be a single loser.
TunedtoPerfection 5y ago
If this is the only thing people take away they will be 100x better. Same story I use to avoid confrontation by giving them what they wanted to here. Like you I learned quick that ends up badly. But, unlike you I got stuck in another trap along the way, indirect answers.
Here's the thing, people that do not have a reason to value their time, really don't mind indirect answers. It takes up time, and it ends up being so wishy washy you can just not an agree with pretty much anything said and it be a "safe" opinion.
But when you being to have reason to value your time, and you hang around people that do, indirect answer make you a dull piece of shit no one really wants around. Why?, because nodding an agreeing to some half heart statement if fucking boring as shit, shows no social intelligence and it what average people do.
WarViper1337 5y ago
One of the most important lessons I have learned around here is to always challenge women. Chances are she has spent most of her adult life with beta men ready to bend the knee her to her every whim. What those men don't realize is that she is repulsed by such behavior. When you stand up to her and tell her "no" and then guide her in how she should behave she will respect you even if she puts up a lot of resistance at first.
wizchalupa 5y ago
Men need to know how to say no to their women. However, it's a balancing act in a sense. Many men who first learn to say no act like Chuckie from Rugrats after he learns to say the word, acting like a little shit saying "No" to everything.
If your girl asks you to go get milk because you're out and she is sick with the flu, don't be a retard and say "No, that's a woman's job! Bitch, go get milk!"
Saying "No" is a powerful tool that should be used selectively; pick your battles.
Auxfite 5y ago
I used to always fall for comfort test back in my teens. Keeping a women is basically knowing psychology well. Good write up
flaxenbillows 5y ago
need some advice - how do you know when to build comfort and when to "pass" comfort tests by being basically the opposite of comforting? Surely you can't keep a girl around if you never comfort her or compliment her, whereas on the other hand the comments suggest that whenever you do reward a girl with comfort she will lose attraction. This is something I find very confusing and am struggling to come to terms with it. Thanks!
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Derive1334 5y ago
More time than it took for your reply.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Think about how many guys we have who don't know to do exactly that. How many guys we have wash up on our shores in askTRP who clearly know the answer to their question but lack the abundance and confidence to leave because they are afraid they'll never get laid again, so they fall into an LTR version of "happy wife, happy life" and ultimately become desiccated husks.
Guys fail on comfort tests when they shouldn't. The dominant cultural narrative is: "Girlz RULE! Boyz DROOL! Woman GOOD! Man BAD! Whatever dipshit thing that Vagina People do is AUTOMATICALLY RIGHT!!!"
Lots of guys grow up without dads, and young guys, even with dads, have been force fed this shit from day one. Those are the guys I am trying to get to, before they're posting over on whatever versions of "r-incels" or "r-divorcerape" as may exist.
KeffirLime 5y ago
"Dread for life, happy wife"
redaftrp 5y ago
I prefer, Happy life, happy wife. I choose my happiness, and women, being emotional creatures, will be drawn to me. Women feed off of their surroundings, no need to let them consume the happiness in the relationship by demanding to be pleased. Instead, do what you're passionate about, and take joy in living, she'll enjoy life too, because you are happy for internal reasons, not focused on her.
NohoTwoPointOh 5y ago
Considering that most men take the beta bait, the post is way more helpful than harmful.
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WarViper1337 5y ago
There are a lot of young men in here that may have never had a good alpha example in their lives. It is often said around here that it takes a man to make another man. The story presented by the OP may be a simple example of how to maintain frame but it still a valuable lesson to the newbies around here.
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WarViper1337 5y ago
I would agree but "going outside" has many meanings. The people here are going out of the box and networking with other men in a way that just "going outside" doesn't allow. There is an exchange of ideas from thousands of men here that can be rapidly accessed. Also if you are such an amazing alpha male as you claim to be and despise this subreddit then why are you even here. Your not even following your own advice lol.
Obwalden 5y ago
Come on bro you're missing the point of 90% of the posts to this sub. This is mostly just helpful shit to the general guy who just wants a woman that won't ruin his life.
In the case of this post it's just saying that you should let them know that there are things that would make you end the relationship.
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Obwalden 5y ago
Okay but that misses the point. This is simply a subreddit that helps (mostly young) men look into situations that they will experience in life and how they should carry themselves.
In a world where men are taught from a young age to "support everything women do" it's important to remind them that yes women can be fuckups too and not to encourage that behavior.
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Obwalden 5y ago
Homie how tf would someone work that out if this is all they ever knew? Not everyone has a strong male figure in their life to guide them into becoming a good man themselves. You also could've had a beta family member that gave you shit advice like "always treat women with respect" and "under zero circumstances should you hit a woman". Just terrible advice that will put you down a similar path they took to a life of misery.
This sub is a source of advice for men. If you don't need advice then become a teacher for those that need that guidance. If you're just going to sit here and complain about men trying to better themselves then kindly fuck right off.
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odin1111 5y ago
Imagine being this much of a faggot.
God, I can't wait till the forums are up.
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witchcoin 5y ago
This is like a noob-level shit test here. It's worth a paragraph, tops.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
I'm actually here to help the n00bs. And also more experienced guys who have blind spots in their Game. Also, it was a comfort test, not a shit test, so get thee to the sidebar to review.
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mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Once again you tourists miss the point.
Not all posts are intended for advanced TRP audiences. I can see this post resonating strongly with newcomers and those who haven't spent months studying up and reading up on TRP.
For many of us it was posts like this that got us in here in the first place because we were able to see ourselves in them
red_philosopher 5y ago
Honestly, it's good even for people who have been around the block a few times. It's a great example of black knighting.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
You hit the nail on the head.
To me, it's sort of amusing when we get a guy who shows up with some version of "This post is a waste of time!" and then sticks around to extensively argue that point. Why? It seems sort self-defeating, but hey, that's the interwebs, I guess.
redpillcad 5y ago
Yup...after a dozen examples of jerkboy behavior working some noobs try it and are happily surprised to it works a fuckton better than candy and flowers.
Pestilence1911 5y ago
Soooo much better.
I laugh at betas who pay for dates.
witchcoin 5y ago
You mean those who haven't read the sidebar?
Edit: there's literally a link in the sidebar "shit tests 101", it's a 5-minute-read and it covers everything in this post and more.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
So you seem to be pretty invested in criticizing my post. If it's not for you, perhaps you should say "Hey, this post isn't for me", and meander off to read other posts.
Not everything I write is intended for advanced-level Game ninjas.
redvelvet_oreo 5y ago
Ok so you are the expert on shit tests. Your criticizing OP but tell me how many bitches you slaying on a regular? You understand the concepts but are you even practicing any of it on the field? Somehow I doubt it.
IvyExcess 5y ago
Read his post history mate...one of the most valuable contributors around. Might be time to shutup and listen for a while, Mr.oreo
z2a1-9 5y ago
I've done this many of times! On point example.
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VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Oh, I dunno. I'm sort of in favor of irrational self-confidence, at least when it comes to Game. I mean, guys will fail with it, too, but sometimes you gotta swing for the fences, and to reach the fences, first you gotta believe.
awakenedspirit1 5y ago
This is my favorite part of the red pill. How to walk and talk like the top. Never saw it before. I'm swinging.
Proto_Sigma 5y ago
If you want people to buy your bullshit you have to buy it yourself first, basically.
Game 101.
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DeGENZerate 5y ago
This is the classic Red Pill maxim of irrational overconfidence and it works. However when I think of the future of TRP, perhaps rational confidence is better. We dilute our point by teaching lifting and other actions as a way to elevate and rationalize our confidence while at the same time claiming we need an excess that is unjustified.
There are more ways than just lifting to rationalize up to the required level. Yes be physically superior. But don't stop there. That means read a complex book to give you perspective over lesser bloop mentalities. You will reach a certain critical point where there needs no more faking but this requires a fundamentally elevated man
TheTrenTrannyTrain 5y ago
Heartiste's 16 commandments of poon
XI. Be irrationally self-confident
No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy than rational defeatism.
saucierlol 5y ago
And thats how you know that women are only driven by their emotions, because if they d stop and think for one second they d see that 99.9% of men are by definition, not top men. Regardless of what she deserves, its not rocket science to get that a man who boasts and is over confident is a man who is faking it, consciensciouly or not, yet they fall for it everytime.
WinjetRed 5y ago
I think an unspoken key concept here is the fact the you've taken care of yourself well. This would be less effective if you'd allowed yourself to age like crap. She sees this and it speaks louder than just your words.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Hmm. Well, in terms of my health, certainly, but I'm not conventionally handsome. I've stayed away from the shit that really fucks you up: cigs, drugs, too much booze, and women my own age. I'm also good at pre-qualifying women based on who I know likes me: tall girls, introverts, submissive girls.
One problem guys run into is thinking vertically instead of horizontally and chasing women who aren't as into them as the "Fuck, YEAH!" girl.
If there's some sort of fatal flaw or a girl thinks she's going to turn me into a pussy beggar or just give me too much trouble, in general, then I'm gone. I don't need the hassle. I had a girl tell me earlier this month how hard I was going to have to work to get into her vag, and, well, fuck that noise, so I ghosted her.
She popped back up after a couple weeks, and was like, "Man, I liked you, why did you disappear?" Me: "That thing where you thought I was going to be Sisyphus and roll the boulder up the hill on the 'no pussy' diet? Yeah, no thanks."
Maybe she figures it out, maybe she doesn't. She's a cute girl, so I'm sure there are plenty of betas who would be like: "Challenge accepted!", but I'm not wasting a bunch of my time trying to pry open some clam because some girl thinks it would be fun to torture me. Fuck.That.Noize.
ghostcel2018 5y ago
Oh what a jerk you are!
Meanwhile it's ok for women to tell men they're rejected because too ugly, too fat, don't make enough money, etc...
Lol I hate this society
memer935115 5y ago
This really shows that we live in a society.
Truedemocracy4 5y ago
They WILL get pissed at you but if you maintain frame they WILL later apologize for how irrational they were. Sounds like a chore? Welcome to relationships.
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Same shit with a *girlfriend points a ridiculously hot girl*, "do you think she is pretty?". Yea she's hot, there are a million fucking hot girls.
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Flpgneves 5y ago
What I always learn from your posts is: take risks. Faint heart never won fair lady, as the saying goes.
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