A recent post brought up the idea that there's something wrong with cold approach, specifically day game, referencing the fact that feminists think this is somehow sexual harassment (understand, this is a tiny, tiny, but very vocal portion of society--most women are not like this, and many, many women actually hate feminists as much as we do).
Here's the thing guys: if you follow the sidebar and general advice on TRP, i.e. lift, read books, have a mission, dress with some sense of style and fashion, and are socially competent, most women will actually THANK YOU for approaching them.
Why? Because it doesn't happen that often, or if it does it's not done well. Most guys are pussies these days swiping away on Tinder or offering their limp dicks on Insta with pathetic comments like, "yer so beautiful" on every girl's DMs. Yes, there are some communities and cultures where men are more aggressive, but even then, if your approach is on point, you'll still stand out.
The key is calibration. Should you approach a 9 if your SMV is at best a 5? Probably not. But there's nothing wrong with approaching a 6 or 7, depending on the circumstances. Should you approach a bitchy looking woman in the coffee shop with a sticker on her Mac that reads: "kill all men"? Fuck no. Obviously, you want to use common sense.
But remember: women live for validation--AWALT--and the best kind of validation they can get is to have a random man who looks composed and has his shit together telling her that she's attractive. Seriously, do you think girls spend thousands or tens of thousands of dollars every single year on clothes, makeup, and other bullshit and dress up every day spending hours doing their hair and makeup NOT to get noticed or to look attractive?
Right.
What I've found since doing cold approach is that when you're first starting out, you'll come off as somewhat awkward and/or goofy, but in that case if a girl rejects you, it'll be like putting a puppy back in his kennel at the pet store--you're not a threat to her and she appreciates the compliment. However, even when you're starting out, a lot of women will give you their number no problem.
What's cool is that as you get better, it almost becomes possible to avoid a situation where there needs to be any conflict. You get a sense if a girl isn't into the interaction and excuse yourself as soon as that becomes apparent, or when she says she has a BF--and you pass the shit test only to find out it's not a shit test--she actually does. Either way, you can bow out respectfully.
However--as stated earlier--if you're in good shape, take care of yourself, read books, and are a TRP man, you'll mostly get a lot of numbers and start going on a lot of dates if you keep at cold approach. You'll even start to pull some women that same day or night. Yes, sometimes you'll get rejected, but most women are thankful even then and it's rarely a big deal. I've only had one or two true blowouts in over 300 approaches.
Stop being afraid of rejection. It's not illegal to talk to someone in public. If you're so damn afraid of everything all the time, get off the sub and go join MGTOW. Because yes, women are bombarded by offer for dick all the time--but it's mostly online and via SOD (swipe/online dating). It's actually rare for a lot of women--even really beautiful ones--to get approached IRL, and most of them like it.
Additionally, there's are several huge advantages to meeting women this way:
1) You present as an alpha--you are being confident, socially adept, entitled, outcome independent, etc.
2) You're creating a narrative or a story of how you met, which women love.
3) If done correctly, you can immediately turn the dynamic sexual, so that she sees you as the kind of man who's adventurous and accomplished in bed.
4) Best of all: there is no better test of your frame. If you're failing at cold approach, it's almost always because you're not holding frame. So even if you still want to meet the land whales on Tinder, you'll have much better on dates and in relationships if you do some cold approach.
DarkMountain666 5y ago
Cold approach is something that I have always been afraid to do. I did it once, and I fucked it up due to nervousness. I haven't reached a plateau yet where I could say that my fitness level gives me enough confidence to do so, even when my frame got bigger.
warlordchad 5y ago
I guess the unfortunate truth is that you're going to fuck it up a bit at first--just understand that's OK. And like, yeah, the girl might not give you her number, but the odds are she's not going to freak out about it either. She'll just say no and you'll both move on.
But as you keep going and get better, your success will increase exponentially.
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warlordchad 5y ago
There’s no way cold approach should result in sexual assault. Talking to a woman is not assault. No lawyer would file charges against a guy for saying hi to a woman or asking for a number. And any judge would throw out such a suit. You’re protected by the first amendment.
But whatever—go MGTOW.
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warlordchad 5y ago
Dude I’ll do a post on cold approach later, but when people say don’t shit where you eat, that means you’re not hitting on girls at work or the gym.
The reason I don’t worry about girls getting upset is that when I cold approach it’s at a random bar, coffee shop, or at a park, on the street, etc. I don’t know the girl and she doesn’t know me—what makes women nervous is when it’s at work or somewhere they continue to have to see the guy day in and day out.
The beauty of cold approach is that if she rejects you, neither of you are likely to ever see each other again. And just to reiterate: TALKING TO SOMEONE IN PUBLIC IS NOT SEXUAL HARASSMENT!
iqbal002 5y ago
I once approached a girl in my college and she brought a big guy with her (not a brother or boyfriend ) but I handled it smoothly and thought it as "road to alpha" obstacle Because if I m really alpha I must be able to cope with such uncomforting situation
Zech4riah 5y ago
This is pretty much a myth we need to bust already. There is some (western) countries where girls don't get approached during the day but they are somewhat rare. Hot girls get spam approached in the clubs and they get plenty of approaches during the day as well. Stop with this "guys don't have guts to approach girls"-bullshit. Even the chodes of scandinavia approach in clubs so that should put things to perspective.
Imperator_Red 5y ago
Without commenting on the rest of the post, I just have to say that this is 100% categorically false. The women who "hate" feminists, or who at least refuse to call themselves feminists, are still passive supporters of feminism.
Think of it like the Islam/terrorist problem. Yes, it is of course true that the vast majority of Muslims are not terrorists. They do not strap bombs to themselves and blow up markets, or join groups like ISIS. The vast majority of Muslims are, however, passive supporters of radical Islam. That is to say, they generally hold the same beliefs and goals as the radicals and they provide passive support to the radicals. This takes many forms and includes things such as expressing support in public opinion polls, providing intelligence, refusing to cooperate with authorities trying to catch them, or donating money. By remaining passive supporters, they help advance the goal that they believe in with very little risk or effort.
Now let's look at western women. Many refuse to call themselves feminists because to a lot of men the word carries too much negative connotation. These women do not march in rallies or burn their bras or post drivel on twitter. They might even vote for Republicans. But despite their "moderation" the average woman is completely on board with the broad goals of feminism. There are very few women in this country who actually want to roll back anything that feminism has given them. They want the government to give them a leg up in the workplace. They want the government to force men to pay them child support and alimony. They are content with the protections they receive from the legal climate regarding sexual harassment/assault. And they sure as shit love their sexual freedom and the ability to throw their pussy at Chad without consequence.
So like the "moderate Muslim," the non-feminist western female is a passive supporter of the movement. The moderate Muslim stays out of the crosshairs of the drone and the non-feminist female stays out of the crosshairs of men/employers that hate them. Both gain from the movements they passively support without having to do or risk much themselves. They can best be understood as free riders, in the economic sense of the term.
Andgelyo 5y ago
The key is abundance. I get a decent amount of matches on tinder and okc (although that number is significantly dwindling now). 95% of my lays have been from tinder. I remember once asking a girl out for hot chocolate when I was driving through a ticketing booth (she worked there). Got rejected, laughed it off and didn’t give a fuck. Why? Because I already had a date lined up the next day. I didn’t even want to get her number, I just wanted to know if I still had it lmao
warlordchad 5y ago
I mean I’ve always said, if you’re getting matches with women you’re genuinely attracted to on Tinder and SOD, go right ahead—it’s the easiest pussy in the world.
What I’ve found—and I get that it varies from city to city—is that where I live, I don’t get matches with women I’m attracted to, and even when I do match, it’s a pain in the ass managing all the texts back and forth and all that shit. It takes too much time that I could use in other ways.
The beauty of cold approach is that most of your leads are good ones. Like, if a girl gives you her number and it’s a quality approach, she’s way less likely to flake or ghost than a bitch on Tinder.
There’s also something to be said for the fact that by so many thirsty dudes giving women so much attention on the apps and social media, we’re accelerating hypergamy, making women more squirrelly, picky, and arrogant. That’s true on both an individual level (you) and a collective level (all men).
Andgelyo 5y ago
True, cold approach is still the king. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do however never came around doing it. Fortunately I live right by NYC, where there is an abundance of women. Thanks for the advice earlier, I am still trying to get to your level of cold approach where I don’t care about what people think about me. Night game and club game is far easier for me.
JackNapier368 5y ago
Thanks for the post. Just started daygame and I love it! I get positive responses and that's why I'd like to ask you this.
Is it me or are 8's and 9's a lot more friendly and open to approach that 6's and 7's? I've noticed that 6's and 7's mostly say I'm an arrogant prick (which is womanese for 'fuck you being so confident, be more on my level!'
Just my experience, maybe I'm missing something. I'm not good yet at passing all shit test, I just learned about pressure flips, which will help a lot.
5's just hate me from the start.
What is your experience?
RPSilverfox 5y ago
I asked a HB8 30 years younger than me if she wanted to grab coffee the other day. Her response: that sounds good.
Just an example, but it’s actually very easy when you think about it. And if she’s not interested then 99.9% of the time she’ll be apologetic and say she’s sorry but she can’t for whatever reason. Like OP said if you’re a high value guy she’ll be flattered you asked.
JackNapier368 5y ago
PIMP! Are you 50/55?
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blingbladeade 5y ago
How did the coffee go?
RPSilverfox 5y ago
It went ok, we met on our lunch breaks the Fri before Christmas so haven’t really seen her since. She works in a doctors office near mine so will prob see her again after the 1st.
swaglordobama 5y ago
Women are very social creatures and will talk to anyone. Thinking about it like an approach is what creates anxiety to begin with, because an approach has a win condition and a loss condition.
Best advice is stop thinking in binaries and just be a social guy. Comment on something you noticed about her, the environment, etc then follow up on it with a story, questions, etc. You know, a natural conversation.
There is no approach, it's already open.
WeightsNCheatDates 5y ago
Great way to view it! You’re not approaching the land whale at the grocery counter, you’re not approaching the hairy old man hogging the bench press, you’re just making conversation.
SpiritStatic 5y ago
Each time I feel afraid or anxious to go make an approach is a prime time to rewire that instinct by doing it anyway.
278209AR948Q 5y ago
Some people understand the economics of time very well, so lets do a brief analysis.
Let's see the alternatives:
Cold approach.
Approaches via social.
Tinder & social media: first you "match", like all the other 100 guys. Then you talk. Jump through hoops. Get her number. Go get a coffee. Go on a date. Wait for sex "cuz I'm not like the other girlz". Have sex after meeting more.
Total time invested: too fucking much if you're building your empire.
Approaches via social and cold approaches. You skip most steps. Instantly know if there's interest. Escalate it to wherever you want/can.
Total time invested: a few mins, one night.
Not convinced and want to waste your time? Be my guest. I do have some more info to consider:
One of the ways leads you to prove yourself, jump hoops, directly compete with 100s of others and play in her frame.
The other doesn't.
Do yourself a favour and approach IRL. Your parents did it, your grandparents did it. How do you think babies were made?
chumjetze 5y ago
Online dating serves as a buffer to not face rejection, I think Rollo talked about it! Your comment makes 100% sense from afraid from a logical standpoint, but most people are afraid of cold-approaching people. Which makes it even better for us who actually approach ;)
pgroups 5y ago
So true. The only reason I'm with the girl I am now is cold approach. I didn't get her the day I met her, but randomly seeing her again a year later it was like something clicked. this isn't the first time that's happened either... just talk to a bunch of girls, just have fun, Ive realized you never really know what they think and it doesn't matter
[deleted] 5y ago
This is good. I’ve had great success with cold approaching in night time in my past and some in day time. Though I got lazy when tinder started becoming big a couple of years ago and started swiping instead. On photofeeler all my photos score a 9+ in attractiveness and they are also “exciting” with different places, doing stuff etc. I get a lot of matches (around 300 after some weeks), but it’s from chicks that are 3-7 points lower then me in attractiveness. It’s not hard to meet up with these, but they are more often then not even less attractive irl. After meeting a girl that looked good on photos but half as good irl a couple of days ago, I can only imagine how hard tinder must be for a dude less attractive then me. Tinder is a good compliment but seriously cold approaching is the way to go. I have a hard time to do both because as soon as I start to use Tinder, I will rationalize away good moments to approach more. Go for it if you can combine it well and want to lay girls less attractive then you, else focus on the reality instead. For getting the chicks worth getting through tinder, I think you have to be top 1%+. Also, I’m not going into some camp here to not use tinder, just my thoughts on it. If it works for you, do it. It’s not worth my time anymore, as I feel it’s getting harder as well, compared to a couple of years ago.
buttgoogler 5y ago
There's a post about percentage of successful lays/dates through cold-approach somewhere on asktrp and one comment struck me: apparently those "PUArtists" get an average of 5% successful lays. I'm not a pickup guru and neither am I humblebragging, but this is some major bullshit.
I can tell from my little experience with cold-approaching that if you've internalized sidebar, hold frame, lift, groom and dress well you have to get hella results with cold-approaching.
5 women out of 100 is a ridiculously low number and PU artists getting these results is tragic.
I guess this is the main point. The more you approach, the easier it gets to calibrate. Thanks for this.
majaka1234 5y ago
The issue is that PUAs filter out women because they almost always come across as disingenuous and creepy.
A buddy of mine is fearless but j fuck higher quality women far more regularly... He's talking about side bitches and number of approaches and roi and bla bla bla..
I'm just looking for a girl who isn't full of shit and just being myself (post red pill) and it works way more. All they "wait 30 seconds then touch her arm and neg her" shit just takes away from you showing your high value and holding frame.
I'm surprised they even hit 5% tbh...
buttgoogler 5y ago
Weirdest thing that most of them actually get hella paid for teaching some shallow strategies even despite such low conversion.
UncleWarwick 5y ago
I just read an old article from Good Looking Loser and he scored something like 14/100 from cold approach day game IIRC. 5-10% isn’t too out of whack.
Majority of girls aren’t going to like you.
But fuck man, that’s 1/20. That means you can probably score a new girl every other night just going out on weekends, at worst. That comes out to 52 new girls in a year.
That doesn’t sound horrible to me.
buttgoogler 5y ago
Yes, 52 lays a year isn't bad. But my point was that if you do what trp suggests you to do AND calibrate properly -- you can get much higher ratio.
Just don't base it around pure numbers. It might work at some point, but calibrating and upgrading your smv is the key.
masterbaterchief 5y ago
I'd believe that number. It seems high, honestly. You really have to step back and think how long it would take to approach 100 women or more. And what percentage of those women are actually good looking.
buttgoogler 5y ago
Time span doesn't play a big role when it comes to statistic about successful lays: no matter if you approached 100 women in 1 year or in your entire life -- you still get a 5% result.
What I mean was if your trp toolkit is on point -- you can easily get results better than that.
zestytacoz 5y ago
What would you say best case results really are? Because 5% is reasonable considering how many factors can affect whether it works out or not.
buttgoogler 5y ago
My own experience with cold-approaching is pretty small comparing to some folks out here, but i'd say 33% should be a good average (let's say every third girl you approach is a lay).
SuperCrazy07 5y ago
33% average seems unrealistic. It seems high for good looking guys with game.
Unless you’re only approaching horny, drunk girls at the club or bar.
buttgoogler 5y ago
I must thank my alpha-dad for my genes and trp for my frame, body and abundance mentality then. But you're free not to believe, I ain't trying to prove nothing.
zestytacoz 5y ago
That's really good stuff, and that's without crazy amounts of grinding?
Do you think that with more experience doing it you cab improve on that figure?
buttgoogler 5y ago
Depends on how you define grinding. Apply trp toolkit and, what's also important, calibrate properly. Just like OP said, don't hit on 10 if you're a 5 and don't open a pink-haired sjw landwhale with a sexist jokes. Pick IOIs and go for it with your best game and you'll be good.
zestytacoz 5y ago
Awesome. Thanks man.
AP_Jack 5y ago
If you don't mind me asking what were the two big blowouts you experienced?
warlordchad 5y ago
One was actually pretty hilarious. Me and my buddies were at a bar watching NFL football and this girl is a huge Saints fan and is rooting loudly, pretty drunk for it being like 11:30am (I live on the West coast), and wearing a shirt that says, "Breesy like Sunday morning." As she's walking past our table I'm like, "so why the Saints?" A good opener btw, where I'm challenging the girl and she immediately has to qualify herself to me which is a good dynamic. Anyway, she comes over and we start talking and then after a bit, she's like, well I'm going to get another drink. I stop her and ask, "are you?" And she's like: "what?" I say: "Breesy like Sunday morning?" To which she replies: "well you'll never know." Here's where I failed that shit test gents--I didn't say anything. The correct response would've been: Whoa, someone's got a dirty mind, I was just kidding--or something to that effect. But like a chump I said nothing and then she got pissed, on the way back to her table, saying: "fuck you!" to me, and when I tried to apologize and buy her a drink, she was like, you just need to walk away now... and I was like... OK. The second one was when I tried to hit on a girl at a bar recently, but she was in a four set with two other guys, and I started talking about my book, which is about a school shooting, and one of the guys was trying to ask me about how someone gets that mindset, and when I tried to explain it, he freaked out and blew up and got pissed at me as if I was trying to justify that sort of thing when I was really just trying to lay out the events that might cause someone to get to that point psychologically. Anyway, the girl just pointed her finger as in: you need to go, and go I did.
thiikn 5y ago
You fucked up, yeah, but really softly. You know, every night I go out I see plenty of guys having blowouts where (after failing a cold approach, getting rejected and being told to walk away) they ARGUE with the girl trying to explain why they were not wrong... Arguing with a woman is dumb, they'll yell and make you seem stupid, so NEVER do that. Just walk away, that's what you did. Wouldn't even call it a blowout.
ReturnsOver 5y ago
?
???
Damien_Scott 5y ago
I'd like to think I would say, "why don't you come over Saturday night and I'll make tacos".
greenlittleman 5y ago
In both cases you lost your frame, so shit happened. Explaining something to anyone is never good idea though.
warlordchad 5y ago
Quite true.
chrisname 5y ago
What does “breesy” even mean? Breezy? The song is “easy like Sunday morning” anyway.
WarrantMadao 5y ago
Talking about Drew Brees the God-King of New Orleans
WHO DAT
paniconomics 5y ago
I don't get it.
reallyeesah 5y ago
I exchange heavy eye contact with a lot of girls when I go out. Do you always go in if a girl makes eye contact with you? Obviously it has to be the type of eye contact where you just know it’s based on attraction.
Auvergnat 5y ago
Think of it this way: you’re at a cafe with friends when you look on the side and make eye contact with a landwhale who’s obviously staring at you. Do you hold eye contact? Of course not! You’d be to afraid she’d take this as a sign of interest and come talk to you.
And that’s why holding an eye contact is the strongest sign of interest you can get from a girl. Because if she wasn’t interested you can be sure that wouldnt happen.
buttgoogler 5y ago
Girls don't hold eye-contact with awkward billy-betas, as simple as that. They barely even notice them. Eye-contact imo is one of the strongest IOIs a girl can offer.
OfficerWade 5y ago
Really, I get eye contact everywhere I go. Sometimes I wish I was wearing a mask so I couldn’t be seen so much. I’m not really trying to brag it’s just annoying to be looked at strongly without any context. Did they like my hair? I appreciate people who acknowledge me when they see me.
Of course on the flip there are guys who don’t get the eye contact from girls they want.
Be careful what you wish for gents.
reallyeesah 5y ago
Definitely. It happens a lot but what’s the point of it happening if you’re not going to chase. Just a temporary ego boost tbh
buttgoogler 5y ago
If a girl is holding an eye contact with you -- approach. As easy as that.
reallyeesah 5y ago
Any links on trp about cold approach you could link me please?
buttgoogler 5y ago
Just read as much as you can and filter what's good for you and what's not.
I would also advise you to watch some cold-approach videos on youtube because oh my days does this shit gives you motivation to get off the couch and actually go work on your game.
MilkMoney111 5y ago
Watch RSD on YouTube. There’s a few guys (Max and Tyler?) I enjoy watching when I have some time. They show you how to be energetic and fun with strangers.
Also nothing beats actually going out and doing it. Go out and just talk to women everywhere. You’ll find out your own style rather than imitating someone else.
When you realize it’s not a big deal talking to strangers then you can start having more and more fun with it. Entertain yourself by being extravagant. Amuse yourself by doing funny shit with them.
Just make it about you and not them. If you get rejected and can laugh at how she rejected you then you’re good. You have a funny story now. Approach the next girl.
I do this with my bro who gets nervous around girls. We’re goofy when it’s just us. So I say let’s approach a few girls with the intent of making it awkward and being rejected. Once you remove that outcome dependence you can have fun and crack yourselves up. Half the time it actually doesn’t work and the girls eat it up.
Noblefiz 5y ago
Interesting you menioned that. When I first started learning about body language and whatnot, I ended up becoming addicted to the ego boost short term vidation instead of actually using that awareness to approach. My focus shifted into "I wonder how many IOIs I can get" rather than actually making moves. It's a bad place to be long term.
reallyeesah 5y ago
This is exactly where I am right now man. So hard to change when you’ve spend years doing it.
Noblefiz 5y ago
It can be but it's easy to change. The easiest shift is to shift from 1.) Get IOI 2.) Feel happy To 1.) Get IOI 2.)approach. The result shift will give your ego an even bigger boost than the former and it's awesome.
BlackVale 5y ago
When and where are cold approaches appropriate? I don’t really go out much or know people who do.
Damien_Scott 5y ago
The supermarket is full of women of all ages and types by themselves. It's easy to recon a woman and set up an interaction beforehand. You could even create some subliminal frame with the contents of your cart.
BlackVale 5y ago
What do you mean by creating subliminal frame with the contents of my cart?
LiftMeditateApproach 5y ago
just approach her, bro... you got nothing to lose!
https://i.imgur.com/NbbhaIj.jpg
DropDeadTyrant 5y ago
i want to cold approach this girl in my class. but, the only chance i'd have would be afterwards when she walks out. sadly though, i have the same class for two periods. so, if i left to try and talk to her, it'd obviously look like i was trying to flirt. but, besides this girl, i've had a lot of fun cold approaching. although, i've done 10 and it still takes me a day or two to work up the nerve to approach someone.
GreetMufasa 5y ago
In The Rational Male Rollo mentions something about "Sniper Mentality" (you know that shit they do in movies when they are checking the wind and waiting for the perfect conditions e.t.c.) I think you're doing a bit of it with that "one girl from your class". Invest in yourself more, especially in your mentality with outcome independence. It seems you are afraid to lose this "one girl" hence why you said "it'd obviously look like i was trying to flirt", you are outcome dependent.
swaglordobama 5y ago
Cold approach is with strangers. In a setting like a class it's now warm because the girl knows of your existence and has some judgments about your character.
greenlittleman 5y ago
Approaching people in your class isn't cold approach. Why would you approaching her would be considering as trying to flirt? If you being friendly with ugly girl it is you flirting with her? Learn to approach people just for the sake of being friendly. Stop trying to fuck girls just from first words said - it makes you needy and even creepy.
DropDeadTyrant 5y ago
I don't. I approach people for the sake of building confidence. However, you're lying if you say you ever talk to a girl just to talk to one. I don't do shit unless I expect to get something back eventually.
greenlittleman 5y ago
Then change it. It is not like only value woman could provide is her pussy. She could amuse you, entertain you, do things for you, help you meet other girls, etc. If you can't enjoy just communication for the sake of communication then things would be hard for you socially. Its like talking to guys only when you need something from them like money or status - it would be hard to get any friends like this.
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DoneScannedIt 5y ago
My opinion is that you (a 5, 2, 7, whatever), be open to approaching a nine or even 10; whoever. If your ego can handle the worst she can throw out, you still might learn something. I'm an old guy in decent shape. A 3, maybe. I approach anyone, if the impulse is there. I just "throw shit against the wall, to see what sticks", and try all sorts of approaches. If one seems to make some positive impression, I'll try it again, and again [edit: not on the same person] , to refine it and test its limit.
Hamlet_Prime 5y ago
I have started to get famous around my campus and city, I work in research and have started to get my pics and story put in newspapers and newsletters. I was told my work will start to be put on TV interviews soon.
I have a fear of approaching now because I don’t want to ruin my reputation. I am a grad student researcher in STEM and generally the “this guy fucks” identity would really conflict with what people want from a STEM research, business nerd and I don’t want to be less like-able because I need more good press about me for my future success. What’s the move here? I don’t have an answer yet. There’s plenty of Field Reports in TRP that say girls love to talk about being hit on as a secondary wave of validation, and I agree with it.
Damien_Scott 5y ago
Perhaps traveling outside of your sphere of influence might be in order. One major city over for a weekend won't be too bad once you bank some of that STEM money.
Hamlet_Prime 5y ago
Thanks. That’s a good idea and I can definitely get practice talking to people off campus too. One good thing is all the bars are downtown and away from campus life
monsieurhire2 5y ago
But . . . but . . .
What if THIS happens....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w1rTnWUGj4
masterbaterchief 5y ago
I'm glad you called that post out, OP. Also, even if your "smv" or whatever the fuck it is is "low", who cares? Go for that hot ass girl. The only way you'll ever get a girl like that is if you start from scratch. Working on talking to those types of women will slowly make it easier for you to approach future hotties. Why? Because you'll be come desensitized to them. Their attractive aura will no longer intimidate you, as I've read from the other commenters. I've been rejected so many fucking times and it has helped my confidence immensely. I don't fucking care anymore. I have my life together and all that jazz, in a sense. But with cold approach and constant rejection(also plenty of success), I'm slowly mastering the art of "not giving a fuck". Trust me guys, it's worth it.
KeffirLime 5y ago
Even the rejections are circumstantial, you never know their situation, they may have a boyfriend, they may be in a shit mood, they may just have gotten out of a relationship.
I had a girl I approached who flat out rejected me, 6 months later, same girl, approached and fucked her later that night.
What you're paying for is peace of mind for yourself, that's it. Knowing that it was either on, or not, not why it was on or off, that's irrelevant and will vary drastically from woman to woman.
It's so you can go home and not kick yourself because you pussied out.
excaliboor 5y ago
You know you gotta tell the whole story now, right?
lifeisweirdasfuck 5y ago
This. Women act based on their emotions in the present moment. One day she might hate you, another day she might want to fuck you. There's no logic in their behavior.
Most guys think that if they get rejected once, that means they got blacklisted by that girl. In reality, that same girl can become attracted to you if you hold frame and act like her reaction cannot cause you distress.
That's what happened: when I was a nerdy beta I was getting ignored by every girl in my school. After 3 years, I added 35lbs of muscle, drastically improved my body language and became much more confident. Guess what, they started all staring at me.
Build yourself and they will come. Men are made, not born.
_Icarus_Reborn_ 5y ago
Thank you for this. I've heard it before but it's definitely a source of truth that I keep needing to remind myself.
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
Planting seeds works incredibly well
WarriorMonkMode 5y ago
Back in the old days of man, harems were the norm whilst a bunch of betas fought amongst themselves for access.
So you can imagine the great risk and the great fear that a man in those times put himself through just for the opportunity to possibly be sexually successful. Not only was he dealing with the fickle nature of women, but also dealing with the mortal risk of the man at the top of a power hierarchy.
So yes, men have a reason to be afraid. It's just not a very good one considering the day and age we love in. 999/1000 you'll never encounter a dangerous scenario like that, considering that the withered vestiges of enforced monogamy still linger in society. The worst she can say is no. The more you cold approach, the more you'll be desensitized to the anxiety. The anxiety is simply your hind brain's conditioning since you never approach normally as a betafag. Once you show yourself that nothing bad happens physically after rejection, you'll be better able to cope with the fear.
It's just your instincts from a different time, trying to keep you alive.
sturbine 5y ago
Are there any ways a "top 20% attractive" guy should specifically do/tweak cold approach? I've been told I have the looks but having never cold approached, only exerted gravity at parties, I have no idea if there's a separate line of James Bond tactics or something. If this seems oxymoronic it's because I too am a bit of a pussy.
Not a troll, here's my photofeeler
Zech4riah 5y ago
Being good looking gives you around 30secs more time to impress the girl in cold approach. Learn the game dude.
arissiro 5y ago
If you’re as good looking as you suggest you already have a massive advantage. The trick here is just basic social competence: think of “game” and “frame” as charisma and “social skills” and you’ve learnt something much deeper than merely picking up girls. These are skills that will help you with any social interaction, not just getting girls.
These are my basic principles (my preferred environment is smaller lounge bars/restaurants rather than big clubs):
• You’re there to have a good time regardless. Inexperienced dudes who are there for pussy become very visible - they stand/sit awkwardly looking to pounce on anything and everyone can tell. You can just see their eyes swinging everywhere. This is not you. Your prime objective is to have a good night out with your boy(s), pussy is a bonus. Have this frame, and only scout subtly.
• Get a feel for the room (again subtly) - notice who’s sitting with who. It’s very rare that a pretty girl will go out alone - if she is, then she’s either waiting for a friend or her man. Always give them time to relax and never pounce immediately.
• You need some IOIs: get some eye contact going. This is obviously easier and less awkward if you’re sitting in line of sight. (You want to be visible in the first place!) If you genuinely feel like she’s giving you some looks then give her a smile and see how she responds - a smile back is a definite “come over here”. I actually had one chick I literally waived at (coyly) and that worked lol.
• Approach time: I don’t have any “lines” or any rehearsed shit: I walk over, I’m smiling (because I’m genuinely having a good time), I say hi, ask them how they’re doing and I ask if I can join their table. If they’re looking good I’ll tell them, though I won’t shower them with compliments - me saying “y’all are looking nice” is just a way of expressing my appetite.
• Now we’re sitting together: the mission here is primarily to have a good, fun time. Find out about them but don’t interview. Strike a balance between asking questions and making statements. Sneak in a few “racy” jokes, teasing, and gentle negging here and there. You wanna strike a balance between being friendly but not being friendzone material. This is where you do a lot of the pushing and pulling. Selfies help big time for building kino. (The situation I’m imagining here is a two on two). Take group selfies, and then take pics of your boy with his target and vice versa wrt you. This is where you can get some touching going on. If you can get her to pose by sitting on you then you’ve got a big boost. Use the selfie poses as a test of “intimacy”.
• If all the above has happened then you’re probably in: my bonus advice is to dance as much as possible. You don’t even have to be a good dancer, the point here is to escalate the communication from verbal to physical. (This also presents great kissing opportunities). I had this hot doctor chick I was dancing with a while back: we could barely hear each other and whenever we could the convo sucked, so we’d just dance (grinding dirty and all that shit), make out, get a drink, and repeat until we bounced. So dancing is a very big element for building kino.
markinsinz7 5y ago
What's your go to for bouncing off the dance floor? Whenever I do it it's hard to keep the energy up you know, like dancefloor->coatcheck she's sobering up now->catching a cab even more low energy now "o who is this guy? What will my friends think?" ->cab or 10min walk to end location (here I know the classic let's watch a movie or something but man the vibes hard to maintain)
warlordchad 5y ago
I would say just start for one, knowing that if you're in that top 20% women will take it as validation that you approached and will therefore be more likely to give you a number. There are tons of videos on YouTube about cold approach, but the best I think is Todd V. Watch his shit--RSD Max is pretty good too. Maybe I'll do a write up here about the basics of cold approach at some point.
sturbine 5y ago
You couldn't go wrong doing that.
warlordchad 5y ago
I gotchu--I'll try to put that out in the next week.
sturbine 5y ago
Also I've checked out Todd V, first time since he 'left' RSD. He's putting out really good content!
lifeisweirdasfuck 5y ago
This kind of posts are the most useful ones in my opinion. Giving practical advice and examples to explain how irrational the fear of approaching is.
I believe approach anxiety stems from inferiority complex. If you knew deep inside that your value is higher, you would not be scared of rejection, because you are the real prize.
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arissiro 5y ago
I would even go further and say - unless you’re a really good looking dude - you shouldn’t be on Tinder and that crap and should only be using cold approach.
What we call “game” and “frame” and all that shit is just a manosphere nerdy description for charisma, good social skills, and being able to project an image of high value. This is best accomplished in person, especially considering how fewer and fewer men are actually doing it. (I.e. Meaning the competition for cold approaches is drastically lower than niggas sliding in DMs)
Most men prefer the path of least resistance - texting, dating apps - which only means these paths bring the lowest rate of reward: old school game has greater risk and greater reward.
mickey__ 5y ago
Refreshing post, keep up with it bro
Vikingcel 5y ago
The only reason why I wouldn't cold approach is that I've got fuck all self-esteem as is.
Giant-__-Otter 5y ago
You also have too much ego. Cold approach will keep you humble, make you realise it's no good to step on your own dick. Then as the EC wrote,with experience you build yourself a titanium-framed sense of self-esteem and OI.
KeffirLime 5y ago
That's how you build self-esteem, small victories, like not dying when you cold approach.
Then you keep building.
Vikingcel 5y ago
Failure would only ruin t further. If I had a couple of of ptates already or knew I can get an easy date on tinder, it'd be b whole different game.
greenlittleman 5y ago
If you get date from tinder or couple of plates then you will consider yourself as "above all this shit" and would find other excuses.
Vikingcel 5y ago
I'd make pretentious motivational speech posts on TRP.
Snide remarks aside, I would approach with the confidence that my SMV is well high enough for me to be the prize. Hell, I'd approach just to make a shopping trip more fun, knowing I can get my nut off with a plate even before putting my freshly bought veggies in the fridge.
greenlittleman 5y ago
This is theorising. On practice you become more lazy when you get some plates. Even more - most guys become super lazy even if they just get one average girl to fuck. This is why redpill and seduction community isn't nearly as popular as they should be. Guys who could get some average girl to be with them wouldn't be motivated enough to learn something new to be more attractive.
z2a1-9 5y ago
Very true one must remove the fear factor and approach as much as possible. Let your inner alpha out, great post!
guccimaynyoon 5y ago
How do you pass the “I have a boyfriend” shit test
Demian- 5y ago
"what a coincidence, so do I, but you're so cute I'm thinking of trying girls out".
TheImpossible1 5y ago
First of all, feminists are not a tiny minority, a recent study shows 38% of women identify as feminists - this means there's a near 40% chance of the woman you approach being one and wanting to destroy you. I very rarely get involved in things here, because I don't do pump and dumping, I just like the improvement tips - but you're downplaying a significant risk.
Second of all, the risk is not worth it when you can just go online and swipe.
wayneinthegame 5y ago
I want to disagree with you, but one day i approached an obvious loony feminist outside of work. I wasnt working and didnt ask her out or even flirt. Just walked up and had short, normal convo. Next day i had anon complaint at work and must have been her.
To be fair, this is college town, she was obviously crazy feminist with guages in ears, blue hair, talking about pologamy etc....you can usually spot them and avoid
Mr_KenSpeckle 5y ago
What risk? Literally nothing will happen to you if you get shot down. Besides, they are doing you a favor by self-selecting out.
TheImpossible1 5y ago
Woman : wants to hurt men
Man : approaches
Woman : lets him in her bed
Next day
Woman : accuses of rape
Mr_KenSpeckle 5y ago
Oh, good grief! We’re talking about whether cold approach is or is not too risky because feminists would be offended about being approached on the street. All that will happen is you will get turned down. If they are offended by the mere fact that you approached, then they aren’t going to sleep with you.
The theoretical risk that some woman is going to falsely accuse you of rape because she secretly hates men exists no matter what approach technique you use. Just screen her and if she exhibits red flags, take a pass. Don’t make your life miserable wallowing in conspiracy theories.
greenlittleman 5y ago
Yes, women will sleep with you just for the sake of being good feminist and accuse you of rape, lol. If you don't want to be falsely accused of rape then:
Make girl beg to fuck her before sex.
Record things what happen either in video or audio.
But again unless you fucked 100 or more women it would be unlikely what any of them will have any problems at all after you two have sex.
Managicall 5y ago
If you are going to be that fat guy whom doesn't lift then start growing your own food and brewing your own beer because you need bait among a habitat that will support you.
Avoid books, we have the Internet now so anyone whom still has books is illiterate and their genitals probably don't work anyway.
"missions and sense of style" lol learn to roleplay and peacock everywhere.
Social competency is for suckers, use dad jokes and repetition. You don't even have to be a loving person just fail miserably at creating drama. Feed her tiny easy to recognize lies.