I have been reading TRP for over two years now. This is going to be my first post, since I think I can add some value from this experiencie. Lessons learnt are very basic but there's always good to keep them in mind.
(I'm not a native english speaker)
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EDIT: By friendzoned, I mean that she would see me as 'just a friend' even though I had changed (mentally and physically). She was the only girl that would still see me like that, and I wanted to change that perception. I do not have oneitis on that girl, I rejected to fuck her because I was with someone hotter than her. The whole point of this post is to argue and see how women act in situations like this.
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This summer I went to spend some weeks at a beach town, just as the 15 summers before this one. I have my group of friends there, good old friends. One of them, let's call her V, has always been one of my best friends.
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Even though one year ago I did have a building RP mentality, she would keep treating and seeing me as 'just a friend'. Obviously I don't suffer oneitis, and I don't care fucking her or not, I was just wondering "Why does she keep seeing me as just a friend If I'm not a bluepilled guy anymore?"
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So, here comes the other girl, let's call her M. So, M and V are bestfriends. I know them since a long time ago, we grew up together. My third night there, we went to a club. During the pre-party M was getting kindof physical to me, so during the party inside the club we made out. Afterwards we went to my place and have amazing sex.
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During the next days, I kept having sex with M, and hanging out all together with my friends group. V kept saying that she was happy that two of her best friends were "together".
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So here comes the WTF part: We had a beach party, we got pretty drunk, to the point that M sucked my cock with the rest of the group 5m away. After a while, I got in the sea, and V came with me. She literally said:
"You are not and have never been my type of guy, but now I know that you have fucked M, it's like.... I don't know. Why did you fuck her and not me? I am not attractive enough as her?"
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I wasn't going to answer to all that bullshit, so I just kissed her and place her hand on my cock. She gave me a handjob in the sea while making out. After that, we would go the sand again, so I just kept playing with M, because she attracted me way more. V would come afterwhile saying that what the fuck was I doing, bla bla... I told her that we are good friends, that she was drunk and that I was with M that summer.
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M eventually found out what happened that night, but she kept with me, because she knew that I wouldn't give a fuck if we would not have sex anymore. Being mentally strong and keeping up with your frame, is just magic.
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Lessons
- Women (most of them) are crazy, unpredictable and they act based on emotions. That wasn't a rational move. That girl would destroy a 15yrs friendship to ask myself for validation.
- Hold your frame. I had sex with a girl the same night I ''cheated'' on her with her bestfriend. If I had said her that I was so sorry and begged her to have sex, do you think I would keep fucking her? Very very probably not.
- If you are friendzoned, ofc it's needed to change and acquire a RP mentality, but it's also needed to take action. I could be sixpack Chad talking shit, but If I didn't take action, I would keep being a friend in her eyes.
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TLDR; Old friend friendzoned me, I fucked her best friend and all of a sudden, the other girl wanted to fuck me.
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Standard_Nebula 5y ago
What If women aren't crazy and unpredictable? What if they're just effective? What if all that emotion and unpredictability is a coordinated effort?
UpperRedSide 5y ago
After 15 years? Holy shit, you are a madlad.
yungassed 5y ago
If you really want to get the hamster spinning and get some wild sex out of the situation, you could have said "probably because I never termed the charm on for you, you sorta seemed like you would be boring in bed.".
Only would work if you truly don't care about getting with her, which probably wasn't your case since you orbited for 15 years. Either she gets super offended and leaves, or she tries her hardest to prove you wrong. Both is a win/win in my book.
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Thotwrecker 5y ago
This goes to show that there is no sexual strategy stronger that FHF. Fuck Her Friends.
There is nothing you can do to redeem a 15 year hard friendzoning where a girl doesn't even see you as having a penis. There is no game that will succeed here. Maybe a SMV raise from like 6 -> 9 will do it, but honestly a raw SMV raise is not going to be enough to fuck if youre a hard, sexual orbiter. Action that actually forces her to reconsider your SMV and makes her see fucking you as a socially validated option - this is the ONLY way in many of the deep friendzone cases.
FHF.
Every time I see some whiny post bitching about how a girl is using him for attention or validation, or how she uses OP like an orbiter, there is one simple solution. FHF.
If you can't fuck her friends, well, you have work to do and there's no point orbiting a girl if you can't fuck her friends. Pretty much all friendzone related woes clear up if you can honestly fuck her friends - not like "eh I could probably fuck if I set my mind to it", but actually doing so or having her realize that her friend is all over you.
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kyzen142 5y ago
" Women are fucking crazy and unpredictable " Crazy sure, unpredictable I don,t know man look at what happened that was pretty damn predictable.
oytrp 5y ago
OP, give your characters fake names.
Reading V and M makes this painful.
bradyo2 5y ago
Nice story bro, had a similar experience myself where I’d been friend zoned since my BP days, but I manned up, took the Red Pill and fucked all her friends before she all of a sudden wanted in on the action. Textbook.
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bradyo2 5y ago
Lol wtf made you think that
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tempolaca 5y ago
Just by looking at the title I know how: Your SMV increased naturally, her decreased naturally. After 15 years, any girl SMV is on the floor.
jomavi12 5y ago
15 years ago we were 9 years old lol
RPAlternate42 5y ago
15 years?
How old was this woman?
jomavi12 5y ago
RPAlternate42 5y ago
So a 30 year old woman suddenly finds her friend zoned, long distance orbiter attractive enough to fuck
Great, you've impressed a woman about to Humpty Dumpty her ass over a wall.
Women and men... Milk and wine
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wobbleelbbow 5y ago
you were the nice guy that she actually wanted to fuck after she hit the WALL. Better harsh truth than illusion that you "escaped friendzone".
jomavi12 5y ago
Poor girl HB9 hit the wall at 24.
antariusz 5y ago
Dear diary, I was friendzoned for 15 years, but now that she’s ready to settle down with a reliable stable man, I am there for her. See: nice guys do finish first in the end.........
jomavi12 5y ago
I was just a friend in her eyes, and I wanted to change that perception. The term 'friendzone', in this post context, stands for this. I didn't even want to fuck this girl nowadays, I would just fuck her as I'd fuck any other hot woman.
I see this girl like 15 days per year, so you see how I'm there for her lmao
Btw, I am 24. Thanks for the stable man stuff.
antariusz 5y ago
Ok, fine, she’s probably still riding the carousel, but the comment stands, because plenty of women do hop off at that age, right after they finish their college “party years”. Whether she’s 24 or 34, if she has “matured” and begins going for guys she wasn’t previously attracted to, that’s classic woman behavior.
jomavi12 5y ago
She began going for guys she wasn't previously attracted to 24h after fucking her best friend.
Makes sense
antariusz 5y ago
“The best friend” IS LITERALLY the guy she wasn’t previously attracted to. AF/BB doesn’t mean alphas get sex, and betas don’t get any sex. It means that women sleep with betas for resources, that includes emotional validation, or posting cute relationship photos on Facebook, etc.
Her “fuckbuddy” doesn’t hold her hand and cuddle with her and get cute memes posted to his Instagram account, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Whatever, fine, you’ve now completed an amazing transformation and you went from sexless loser to Chad thundercock, congrats. Clearly she is now your unicorn that you can now marry safely. Your own goal of posting for validation is now complete.
jomavi12 5y ago
You do need to have some sex.
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drbldmny 5y ago
dear diary I finally got a pity handjob from the postwall hag I beta orbited for half my life
jomavi12 5y ago
I don't see how this comment can be useful for anyone.
Cheers
drbldmny 5y ago
you're bragging about something pathetic
the_real_lunch_box 5y ago
he is not. this post contains very important red pill truths (preselection in this case). It's hypergamy in a real-world example. its why we post field reports here. to learn. it's not pathetic either. What he pulled off here is what all the chads were doing to your high school crush and all her thot friends when you were blue pilled.
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wobbleelbbow 5y ago
So.. assuming you got friendzoned in your teens (15 years old)... you just fucked a 30 year old post wall woman who was desperate for attention. That's not "escaping friendzone". And trust me, it doesn't take that many years to escape it. It takes only 1 year of lifting and getting your life in order. Your post sounds like immature humble brag.
jomavi12 5y ago
Read again bro, you did not get anything at all
wobbleelbbow 5y ago
Obviously you are oblivious to the truth. But you do you.
jomavi12 5y ago
She's 24. Pretty damn hot. I did not fuck her, coz I value friendship and I was fucking her friend, who was even hotter than her.
As I said. I wanted to change her perception about me. I didn't give a fuck about fucking her or not.
HB9 addicted to Social Media with tons of guys in line needed attention. Of course man.
wobbleelbbow 5y ago
so you got hots for her since she was 9???
nofilmynofucky 5y ago
Solid post, tiny error but fair enough cos you did mention English isn't your first language ;)
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BastaHR 5y ago
The old rule: more women you fuck, they want you more.
VolatileEnemy 5y ago
They seem to treat us more like cars rather than people they love.
"Ah this car will definitely make all the guys at work adore me..." But they don't love the car...
[deleted] 5y ago
Why do you think all HB8+'s love and drive Fiat 500's?
The only guys you see in Fiat 500's are gay guys or soyboys.
Having been a passenger in one there's just no way someone could actually enjoy using it...it's more like an appliance than a car. Yet the women who own them are SO PROUD of it... like owning it is a status symbol.
Then they drive them like you would a Ferrari hogging the outside lane at 60mph but that's another story...
TheBadGoy 5y ago
You have to wonder why the media and corporations would give so much power to such volatile creatures
Thotwrecker 5y ago
Imagine all of the traits of the perfect, habitual customer. Or in the modern age, a perfect, habitual content consumer. Does a perfect customer run out and buy whatever they see other customers buying? What type of consumer responds to sensationalist advertising? Does your perfect consumer use feelings of insecurity and a desire for social validation to purchase status symbols that they can't afford? If you're selling non-essential luxury items, don't you want customers who come with a co-signer that will finance the purchase - aka a BF / husband / orbiter?
Women provide the endless fuel for the modern economy, they are the hamsters spinning the wheels for social media, they drive viral content, they drive 70-85% of purchases. They are the spenders, the sharers, the tweeters, the snapchatters, the instagram influencers, etc.
Women are the product and the employees now of these companies. They spend all day generating revenue for these media / social media companies, and then they spend all their money and their husbands money / boyfriends money on shit. They are tricked into doing the grunt work of social and political campaigns - society has basically mastered the art of using women's need for drama and social validation to do corporate dirty work.
1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 5y ago
Its not hard to understand. Females buy more stuff then men, its a statistical fact, and a big joke, until you think about it... In a consumer based free enterprise system, the system will continue to empower them, if only to guarantee more purchases...
Mayhzon 5y ago
Because they are easier to weaponize with outrage culture and other dirty tactics. Women are social followers.
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[deleted] 5y ago
As RP men I think Its our job to strive to be better. Good for you for actually making real progress your other guys would wet dream about.
But I’m not sure how I feel about cheating tho. I guess if you weren’t in a relation ship and Just hooking up with m its fine.
Either way tho you’re doing better than most dudes in our generation so good stuff!
jomavi12 5y ago
I was just hooking up. I have never cheat on a girlfriend, and will never do
[deleted] 5y ago
You’re better then a ton of dudes in my college. I’ve seen people , once their GF leaves, they start hooking up with their side girl. It’s real fucked up
askmrcia 5y ago
Meh, the girls are doing the same thing or they like it when their "boyfriends" are hookin up with people on the side.
[deleted] 5y ago
For sure girls are doing it too (Mabye more than dudes) . But I don’t think anyone actually likes getting cheated on. I’m just trying to be a better man.
askmrcia 5y ago
Alot of girls don't mind getting cheated on. I'm sure you seen plenty of women run back to their boyfriends who cheated on them multiple times.
I know I've seen it over and over again. Trust me, the girls know that they are in relationships with guys that are known to cheat. That's why they tend to go with the guys that have the most options.
Edit: it's only a big deal when a woman gets cheated on when it's public knowledge and she has a reputation that her dude is cheating on her. Other than that, it's not a big deal
[deleted] 5y ago
I don’t disagree , but I don’t think they necessarily like the fact they are being cheated on . they just want a high status dude. Either way I don’t think it’s healthy for a long term relationship
askmrcia 5y ago
I made an edit in my previous post.
In response to this comment, yea they may not like being cheated on, but they will tolerate it. Point I'm making is that the guys you know in college cheating on their girls isn't as fucked up as you think it is.
They are most likely dating casually anyways because everyone knows most college relationships aren't serious.
And because they are dating casually, I would bet my car that those women are cheating on them as well or have guys on deck as soon as things go south
[deleted] 5y ago
For sure they got guys on deck. The amount of girls ik who have one dude for hanging with and one for sex is obsurd
HeadingRed 5y ago
Women don't often know what they want, but they almost always want what another woman has.
In this case, you. Nothing makes her want you more than someone else having you.
WarViper1337 5y ago
As others have already said, you activated her pre-selection bias. Once she saw that her friend, a woman that she considers equal value to her, fuck you it then drove her pre-selection bias into overdrive. By nature she can't miss out on what is in demand by other women in her peer group.
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sleepyinbk 5y ago
Beware of the too good to be true drunken friendzone escapade! Things can go awry in the most obvious of ways.
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Once i thought I'd finally made it happen after five years. It was my time! She grabbed me and pulled me into a bedroom during a party. Whooo it was going down!!
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Just as soon as she pulled off her top - she threw up on me. I wondered in the bathroom to pee and found her slumping into the tub. I spent the next ten minutes keeping her from drowning and trying to talk her into showering and putting her clothes on.
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I found a girl friend of hers and asked her to help drain the tub and get her showered off instead of chillin' in the vom tub she had been abandoned inside in the first place. With her in safe hands I slunk out for a smoke. I feel the act of barfing all over me and being super embarrassed about it afterward forever ruined my chances with that one.
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That and it was just weird that it almost happened anyway. She was always telling me how she could never imagine sleeping with me. I got the the vibe I reminded her of her dad. WELP
Auvergnat 5y ago
If you've been in the needy weak wussy position before with a girl, she will likely see you like this forever. For all she knows, that new alpha attitude and big muscles of yours are just a front you're putting to cover up your intense betaness. Never be surprised the people who knew you before don't accept the new you.
It's not your RP mentality that got you the girl. It's not your nebulous "taking action". It was purely preselection. Preselection is by very far the most potent factor in attraction. Very very far beyond looks or game or whatever. What makes a guy attractive is an elusive combination of things, and the proof that other girls want to fuck you is best hint that any girl could hope that she should want you too.
VolatileEnemy 5y ago
Not sure I'd agree with the last bit. The reason so many guys keep adopting the "friend first" beta strategy is because it does work (but way less frequently and it's time-consuming when you coulda been out there getting other chicks).
It's also a lot more prone to failure or being used as a prop when they fight with a boyfriend. These orbiters might actually succeed one day, but it might take a miracle or some rapid change in themselves. It's hard to negotiate from a position of weakness which is what being friendzoned is: a position of weakness.
You meet a hot girl, and she friendzones you, because well you didn't meet some criteria at the start. You might still succeed due to some other interesting reason which is why so many betas place their money on it in a probably vain attempt.
Making a move is not necessarily irrelevant either. It actually will instantly clarify your position for you. She already might know that you like her, but everyone has self-doubts. They're trying to figure you out too.
Being a lover is about trust and strong bonding. You can't trust someone who is a stranger or an acquaintance, so every girl you date will first have to be friend, but for some women it might take longer, due to say: anxiety of the girl, uptightness of the girl, greediness of the girl (thinking she can do better), abundance mentality of the girl (she has lots of apps to choose from), and a variety of strict criteria she has created due to her fantasies. Remember, girls, do all aim for getting married or having kids, and they need to select more carefully than men do: someone who can protect, someone who they can trust, someone with confidence, humor/intelligence, social standing, potential for success/ambition. They are assessing all this. It's very easy to fail. It's very easy to talk yourself into the friendzone or to talk her into rejecting you for silly reasons. Guys have had situations where they talk her out of sleeping with him even though they are in the same bed.
jomavi12 5y ago
Thanks for the answer
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Regarding to point 1. That's basically the story. I could not get rid the ''friend'' ticker until I took action.
It wasn't really friendzone by definition, I liked this girl during my BP days, that's right. Now not anymore, but I wasn't comfortable with her explaining all the shit of her private life as If I was her best friend.
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The only thing I wanted, is to change her perception about me, because she was the only girl right now that would keep see me as "just a friend".
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Pre-selection, in action. Why does she look at you like this now? Because her friend gave up the pussy to you, so you must have something going on that she didn't realize before.
AreOut 5y ago
golden rule : women gravitate to what other women gravitate to
which means you should have as many women around you as possible, you don't even need to fuck every of them, because other women will automatically suppose so anyway :) that doesn't mean you should keep touch with every woman you stumble upon but you shouldn't ditch them only because you don't plan to fuck them, you would be surprised how many HB8+ will show interest in you if they see you with HB5s around, they'll still want to show they are better than them despite it being pretty obvious
VolatileEnemy 5y ago
This HB9 was sure I had another girl. Sure of it. She was calling, texting, texting me to call her like as if: if I didn't it means that I must be with someone, making surprise visits to "catch" me. Offering herself, attempts to lure me back to her place with promises of naughtier acts (because I wasn't coming over anymore).
What had I changed, had I planted the genius seeds of dread, or did I really have another plate? No, I was playing chess and was sick of her shit and wanted her out of my life. She just became intolerable to talk to.
Had to gently nudge her into the car to leave my place. You try to get a hot girl and it's like squeezing juice out of a rock, you try to make them leave and it's like trying to crowbar a leech.
As they say "guys have trouble finding girls to date; girls have trouble keeping a proper guy around."
My point is, you don't even need women to be around you (just the thought of you being adored by women is enough, to evoke that thought just by showcasing value). Also women get intimidated too. An HB9/10 around you will drive away the competitor girls, and quite a lot of men will think they somehow have a chance at YOUR girl just by striking up their boring conversations (delusions are strong in many men). This is what also creates the feelings of grandeur and narcissism in hot girls. They get hit on so damn much even when they're with a boyfriend imagine that. And girls are quite ruthlessly psychopathic, they enjoy the conversation knowing full well what the "mark" (the guy hitting on them) is after in a vain attempt at making YOU value her ("look how popular I am, you better not ever leave me (for my arsenal of other problems) because men keep buying me drinks") and also for external validation.
As OP said none of it is rational. All emotions. They're not smart, even the ones with masters degrees are airheads. It is the celebrity, the high, of being in high-demand based on youth's attractiveness. Girls are not ignoring you because of some calculated decision or conscious thought, they're ignoring you because they have choice. It mushrooms into grandeur and narcissism.
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ImSteveMcQueen 5y ago
Nope. HB5s merely confirm you are a BB5. The HB8 won't be interested until you have HB7s orbiting you.
spistruth 5y ago
This comment has a lot of downvotes even though I think you are right.
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king_of_red_alphas 5y ago
This used to be my go-to technique, and still works quite often, though I don't explicitly try to do it anymore (it just too damn much time and effort).
Basically, friend zone yourself from the jump. Don't be stupidly asexual, or act like you don't think she's hot if she plainly is. Just convey and attitude of “Yes, you're hot. That's great. I'm not going to chase you”
Then, when you find a girl who is in to you that has ONE thing that the hot girl doesn't (tits, ass, prettier eyes, better style, anything). When you walk in with her THAT IS ALL SHE WILL SEE.
Have a good time around her while she sees the other chick showing affection to you. Still engage the friend zone chick, but be semi-patronizing. Like offer her a drink or something you'd do for an awkward friend at a party.
Her competition anxiety will often (not always) kick in and she might leave the situation if it's bothering her.
Then... Next time you see her in a context without the other girl - just watch how her attitude towards you has changed.
VolatileEnemy 5y ago
So this is an interesting thing though. You would think like if you as a guy were in her shoes, you'd just go after what you like. You wouldn't go after someone because other girls/guys like someone (I mean it might help but that it could be a primary motivator in some girls is crazy).
That's like as if society and social pressure is picking for her, rather than she picking for herself.
So here's my theory on that. Maybe, just spitballing here, maybe they actually enjoy the friendzone. You're basically a secondary boyfriend, they don't have to fuck you, they don't have to do anything, you still listen, you still provide emotional support, you still have fun with her- so why does she need to fuck you?
It's almost like the competition sparked by another girl, is more like "oh no fuck me she's trying to steal my guy, what does she have that I don't? I'm gonna have to bring out the secret weapon: the pussy."
Now why is that? I'm not sure, but I suspect that some women just don't think sex is that important.
Maybe someone who has had issues with very-low testosterone (before being treated), might be able to explain it.
king_of_red_alphas 5y ago
I think you’re probably accurate in thinking girls like guys in the friend zone because it’s low effort. They get a boyfriend without having to be a girlfriend.
This whole phenomenon with girls perceiving you differently when they see you with another high value girl is way more primal than that though.
I have literally had girls that had talked shit about me, claim they would never fuck me, found me unattractive, etc suddenly do a 180 when they saw another girl or equal or greater value clearly into me.
Depending on the nature of the friend zone, there may be an element of “oh no! I’m losing my lap dog” but this can happen without ever being a chump.
Much like the hot girl that loses some hotness once you’ve closed the deal, I think a guy can see his status sky rocket based on preselection.
sleepyinbk 5y ago
The key part of exiting the friend zone is usually alcohol. With me was most often the case of escalating drunken flirting and not an elaborate beach handjob spiral after some chick gets all drunk and insecure. Congrats on your splishy splashy HJ!
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I just wonder if it's kinda wack to be proud of taking advantage of some drunken fool while also cheating. I mean a drunk HJ is all good fun but the cheating is a lil childish.
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jomavi12 5y ago
Cheating? On a fuckfriend? What
sleepyinbk 5y ago
I guess I wasn't reading closely enough and overestimated your attachment to the girl
jomavi12 5y ago
No worries. I got your point.
Nutman-maddog 5y ago
Preselection at its finest. Classic AWALT
JohnIan101 5y ago
Confidence seperates the boys from the men.
PM_ME_YOUR_BARE_BUM 5y ago
Nice work. You're the man, seriously.
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Auxfite 5y ago
15 year friend zone? Your smv must be very low.
adminsaregayniggers 5y ago
the fact that you're getting downvoted so much shows this sub is completely overrun by NOWAGS, no wonder it has a bad rep
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jomavi12 5y ago
Not really. 190cm, worked up.
Shit happens in groups of friends.