A little over 4-5 months ago, after ending my LTR of 7 years, I decided to finally delve deep and do what makes me happy. I held off on taking Salsa lessons because I had this feeling in my gut the LTR would want to do it with me, and I am glad I waited because she is now taking classes at the same studio as of recent on her own time (the ex).
Within the first couple of months of being introduced to dance, I was inherently naive to relationship dynamics in the dance community. I was too focused on becoming a better dancer, and ensuring I do what it takes to see myself develop to a point where I want to be.
I attended a latin festival for the first time a little less than a month ago, and it opened my eyes up to a broader spectrum. I met two different ladies I am still in contact with till this day, one, I guess you could define it as a plate, and the second, she badly wants to suck the soul out of one of the instructors from the workshop festival.
Every time the three of us go out together, woman #2, always talks about this guy. Always.
"Why can't he say bye to me?" "He didn't even notice me when I walked in..." "He's such a good dancer..." "I don't know what to do, I want to make a move but I don't know what to say..."
The instructor is a tremendous dancer, and he exchanged numbers with this woman, but it could be clear he just isn't interested.
Seeing this woman obsess over this man verbally, and through her body language was one of the more comical features I rarely see in a woman.
Similar to anything else, there is power in status. Being a leader or a staple in any community, women will want to naturally flock to you and suck you off. They want to be a part of this instructors story because he can make a woman feel good for 2-3 minutes by doing sensual body rolls, spins, and dips.
Its an interesting dynamic, because you don't always have to be 6'6, and make $250,000 a year. This instructor is probably 5'6-5'7, wears skinny jeans, has a high top haircut, and is the 'last' definition of what you would masculine.
But he clearly knows what he's doing because he is happy, and does what he has always wanted to do as a profession.
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lifegifted 5y ago
Sorry, but I don't follow your story
It's pretty obvious isn't it?
DavidEagle68 5y ago
It’s a story with a firsthand experience
frooschnate 5y ago
Doesn’t bring anything new to the table
Avertus 5y ago
It seems that certain professions or occupation such as dancing or performing in a band appear to be more alpha oriented than others as you have more chance to attract women (other factors being constant ofc) simply by doing that profession
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geo_gan 5y ago
True, or she thinks he’s gay and so “one of the girls” in gossip group. As if there is no man there at all.
SensualSeduction01 5y ago
“You could define as plate...”
Tf does that mean? Are you banging these women or not? If not, they’re not plates
ZephyrBluu 5y ago
I think the definition of plate is rather loose. Rollo seems to use it as a catch all term for any girl you're at least talking to.
dr_warlock 5y ago
Regular sex no strings attached. No sex, doesn't count.
SensualSeduction01 5y ago
Na dude. Plate is a girl you’re actually banging.
[deleted] 5y ago
Yes, clearly being a high status male in a contextual thing.
Weird creepo high school teacher hooks up with 18 year old attractive high school student. Why? He is a very high status and authoritative male in his little bubble. In the outside world he is a poor teacher with a crappy car / apartment.
Women are so hardwired for this that they can't even stop themselves from jumping on the high status male in the weirdests of contexts. You could be a huge nerd pro-gamer, but if you are a top 1% nerd and you are at a conference of nerds and all the nerds love and adore you - BOOM, you will have women there giving tons of attention. WHY? Because women can't analyze you in terms of the entire United States or whatever, they are working biologically off of where they are (limited time and scope) - so wherever you are - if you can achieve high status it will hack their nature.
A prince is the highest status male in the world, hence these girls love the love stories about falling in love or marrying the prince (#1 high status). But you can be the prince of whatever small group you are, you just need her to get into that group and see everyone loving you.
[deleted] 5y ago
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[deleted] 5y ago
You don't need skills with money, fame and adoration from millions.
ZephyrBluu 5y ago
Sounds like social circle game in a nutshell.
[deleted] 5y ago
Yeah. I was just commenting. I don't make this stuff up.
Shankar_ 5y ago
Perfectly said, thank you so much for this man
double-happiness 5y ago
There was a red-pilled YouTube commenter or somesuch that I read a while back who talked about salsa lessons that he had attended. He said him and a more junior male dancer asked to dance with a girl at the same time, so in deference to the younger guy he bowed out and let them dance together. After that she never danced with him again.
odin1111 5y ago
So? If the red pilled commenter gets good enough shell regret it anyway, also, so what? it's better to help someone out than to try to bogard all the women, that's the opposite of abundance mentality. If the chick didnt want to dance with the dude ever again. . .well shes not the only woman in the club.
The right course of action would be to ignore that woman, forever, as it's actually QUITE FUCKING RUDE to reject a dance in dance class.
double-happiness 5y ago
I still can't recall where it was from otherwise I would link you and let you hear the guy's explanation for yourself. But IIRC it was just put forward as an example of female psychology - she apparently felt he had either slighted her by 'passing her on' to the more junior dancer or else she felt he had shown himself to be weak/spineless/whatever by deferring to the younger man. In any case, he fell down badly in her eyes and she rejected him from that point onward.
That's not the point of the story. The point is, he fell down in her eyes because he deferred to the younger & less experienced man.
By the way, just as a FWIW, the phrase you're looking for is 'Bogart' not 'bogard' - it comes from the saying 'don't Bogart that joint' which in itself derives from Humphrey Bogart's tendency to always be seen with a cigarette dangling from his lips.
Edit - I suppose the story has a lot of resonance for me because I was brought up to be very courteous and considerate, but as I'm sure you know, that approach doesn't go any way towards turning women on; for that you typically need to act dominant, decisive, and forward instead. That is really all the story is illustrating, is that in certain situations ingrained politeness can be a passion-killer, and RP men need to go against that and demonstrate SMV by avoiding deferring other, more junior men.
NabroleonBonaparte 5y ago
I see what you’re saying but it’s important to have abundance mentality.
Would you really keep a woman around who would go out of her way to avoid you because you chose to skip one dance with her? I bet if you plated/dated her she would pull all types of games to fuck with your head. That’s a crazy girl and by trying so hard to “get the lay” you’re in her frame and still beta.
This is why it’s important to have frame and have a firm idea for what you want out of life and what you won’t tolerate. This allows you to avoid crazy girls like the one in your story and find girls that are pleasant to be around.
Take pussy off the pedestal and make the BEST decisions to move your life in the right direction. Sometimes the right decision results in losing a girl.
User-31f64a4e 5y ago
Dancing is a shit test.
Will you do something useless, gynocentric and not particularly fun, just to audition for the ladies?
frooschnate 5y ago
You think lil kids dance for girls? Shit’s fun
User-31f64a4e 5y ago
Maybe if you don't play sports.
For physical activity, I'll take any contact sport (or pseudo-contact sport like soccer) over dancing any day.
But hey, if you don't agree, by all means downvote this below zero so nobody else can see the comment!
After all, it's only the leftie SJWs into censorship, right?
frooschnate 5y ago
Aight man I see what’s the beef. You prolly a white boy so you and your friends could never really dance and you hate it cause you feel stupid.
On the football thing, playing street football or competitive games in South America will leave you more bruises and fucked up legs than you can count. And unlike American sports, emphasis is on technique instead of physicality, that’s why your uncoordinated asses are so bad at it.
Really I’m just shooting the shit here. Thing is I go to a party or a club and start dancing with a girl cause it’s pure fun and I enjoy myself. I don’t dance to every tune they play cause I don’t like em all, but I can’t help not dancing to a favorite.
And if it makes you feel better, I played baseball at the international level when I was a kid. Two times on the Ecuadorian national side before I gave it up.
User-31f64a4e 5y ago
The average IQ in Ecuador is in the 80's, probably why you had to assume a race and then attack it. If you can't make cogent arguments, then ad hominem is the way to go!
Ad Hominem, in case your IQ is in the 80's, means "to the man". Rather than discuss the matter at hand, one smears one's interlocutor.
This is a favorite tactic on the left, and a big reason they need to get thrown out of helicopters.
frooschnate 5y ago
Good thing I‘m not the average Ecuadorian.
The white boy thing is not so much about the race, but just a group of people known for being bad dancers. Maybe not politically correct, whatever.
I don‘t mind ad hominems, that‘s just the real world and how people solve problems. Staying clear of fallacies only works if you‘re in a debate team or want some mental masturbation online with some geeks.
I just wanna know what your problem with dancing is. Dancing is older than sport and has been part of us since forever.
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Confidential_Report 5y ago
Even Russian navy dances. And they don't do it for the ladies. Plus it looks fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bw4mCWPWMHg
VoxVirilis 5y ago
I disagree.
Her pestering you to go dancing when you need to work on your mission? That's definitely a shit test.
But dancing in the abstract? Not at all. Remember the old Confucian proverb: "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance."? In order to be a decent dancer you have to master rhythm. Rhythm is an integral component of combat as well. Ask any martial arts practitioner if he noticed marked improvement in his sparring after taking up dance classes. Being a good dancer signals to a woman's lizard brain that you are likely to be effective in combat, and therefore a good bet as a protector. Combine solid dancing with a gym sculpted body and you've taken her to Tingle-town. She won't be able to explain why she thinks you're so "dreamy" because the attraction is taking place at the animal level.
Sure, it's an "audition for the ladies". But it's an audition that you as the participant understand better than the "judges". An audition you can't lose. She doesn't know she's judging your dancing competence as a proxy for combat prowess or "alpha" traits, but you do.
Flawless44 5y ago
Lol. You have no idea what you're missing out on.
Look up sensual bachata. Its basically foreplay right after you lead the girl out to the dance floor.
TruthSeekaaaaa 5y ago
Which is basically what he said... doing that for the ladies.
I don't know, I meet a lot of males and probably who enjoy dancing are less than 5, beside teachers obv.
Most of the guys dance for the ladies,and you know that
Flawless44 5y ago
I dunno. I enjoy foreplay and flirting because it's fun. I'm not doing it for someone else. Dancing is just a medium for it.
grumpieroldman 5y ago
The critical factor is that you need to be interesting.
InscrutablePUA 5y ago
SMV is always context dependent. Your salsa instructor who is wetting panties would probably be a nobody among D1 basketball athletes.
Also, latin dances are like sex with your clothes on. It's a good screen for who might be 'good' at sex and also turns women on.
swaglordobama 5y ago
Much easier to be a good dancer than a d1 basketball player, lmao. That being said, this is all superficial shit. Gets your foot in the door and gets you results but it's a shtick
MelodyMyst 5y ago
Gonna have to disagree with some of your comment.
Being a D1 player or any similar accomplishment is not a shtick.
Taking some dance classes in order to pick up chicks is a Shtick.
ZephyrBluu 5y ago
It's 'domain dependency', as Rollo puts it.
swaglordobama 5y ago
If you can't get success without it, it's a shtick. The only a man needs to attract a girl and maintain a stable relationship with her is his mind. All the superficial shit is just a way to get on women's radars and create passive attraction at best, and over-compensation at worst.
Jaereth 5y ago
Status is king and attractiveness a close second. Whenever you're the best at anything they come in droves.
I played in a band that was nothing special for a while. And guess what? The status that band brought me was nothing special as well. The one or two interested gals would always head to the bandmates that were more attractive than me. But most of the time there wasn't even that.
Then I played with a band that was fucking awesome. Probably the best in our town. The difference was night and day. I could barely get my guitar put away after the set and girls would come right up to you. Didn't even have to initiate anything. They would just get at you.
What's the difference here? I'm the same guy in both scenarios so i'm the same looking. I mean I do what I do on guitar i'm not a god but I get by. But the style isn't much different. Same venues, same crowds.
It's just that in the second case, we were hot. We were the in thing. Moreso in peoples minds than anything. But that's all it takes.
[deleted] 5y ago
I think confidence is king but yes, agree.
latinasonly 5y ago
i wanna hear some of your music , do you have any of it online ?
destraht 5y ago
I suggest changing "you" to "me". Maybe the last sentence as "They'll just get at you" if you want to do the 'you' thing. Of course you are just banging this out real quick but I think that its easy enough to catch in a quick read over and its a better style.
[edit] I'm no linguist but English you is a bit problematic compared to other languages with an intimate or plural you. It will royally confuse the hell out of a non-native speakers as well since they will be listening to a story about yourself and then suddenly it switches to being about them and they will wonder if you were lecturing them the entire time and that can be offensive. Additionally very sensitive and defensive types can become offended at being told "you" and through anecdotes I've determined that I don't need any more problems from these types than I already have. For the record I don't care about grammar from a Nazi standpoint (Godwin's Law ??) as long as its clear and English you often isn't and furthermore it can have a detrimental impact on a conversation as so I think its simply a bad habit.
Incel9876 5y ago
I find "you" to be superior here, because it implies that the typical man would probably see the same difference just by the change of status, thus strengthening the point of the whole post. If this confuses non-native speakers then tough, they need to get on native level of fluency, rather than fluent speakers dumbing themselves down to avoid potential confusion (unless it is some business situation and profits could be on the line).
destraht 5y ago
Its also a way to avoid triggering native English speakers' self-defense mechanism when confronted with a new idea. I think that you (and I mean you) can achieve better results by not telling a tense barely-hanging-in-there person "you". If they are at their limits processing something then saying "I" takes some some of the heat off of them. At least people should be aware of this and often its seems that people are having no conscious control over when they use "you" and "I" and they interchange them. That should be conscious.
sehns 5y ago
Or you could just dial down the autism and relax a bit.
Morphs_ 5y ago
Great remark. I used to tell stories in the "you-form" all the time. It's safe and impersonal. People generally are more interested in a story that is about "me". It makes a huge difference in how the story is felt.
destraht 5y ago
Our species is pretty much a master emulator so I think its safe to assume its implied. I think that the English language could use an upgrade here but that is so far out of reach. I definitely still do the you thing but with at least some pre-thought before it comes out of my mouth. When speaking with someone in a foreign country its tends to be safe if the conversation is already highly general. The problem is more when transitioning from narration to abstract general wisdom impacting "yous should do this" and then back to the story about yourself then back to abstraction. I definitely feel like half an asshole here but I'm trying to help.
TruthSeekaaaaa 5y ago
I've been involved in the latin world and you speak the truth... also, be aware when you picking up examples in that girl pool. Latin dancers are the worst women you can find on the planet, they got involved only because their life is shattered. They got or mental problems or some relationship/marriage failed or a combinations of those two. You can easily fuck pretty much anyone there as long as you have game though.
Regarding teachers/best dancers, yeah I've witnessed the same thing and I guess it's pretty much a status thing, probably women want to think they have fucked the teacher so they gotta be hot or somewhat special.
Anyway, the situation was astonishing for me and I gotta quit the dance world. Too much shit is going on there, way too much than you think. I've become pretty close to some key characters who explained how much cuckolding is going on even among long established couples. I made a 3some too and I really enjoyed it, the fact is... those people are fucked, stay away for you sanity
DavidEagle68 5y ago
You speak truth... one thing I refuse to do is announce this instructors by their name around these women. Once I start becoming a cuckhold, then it's over. I've lost frame, and lowered myself to some fanboy obsessing over some random guy who is probably stuck at a desk job like me.
TruthSeekaaaaa 5y ago
If you want to continue into that shitty world, don't become emotionally involved with any girl. Treat them like the worst piece of shit because, believe me, they are. Best of luck though
idgaf- 5y ago
I think it comes down to age... yeah there's a big group of older women with crazy lives. I'm more familiar with the college crowd and I think there are many good picks there, at least preferable over the tinder/bar scene.
TruthSeekaaaaa 5y ago
Yeah you got me there... my pool was 35+ years so yeah, they are carring a lot of emotional baggage. I should had specified... ty for point that out
Karmelion 5y ago
There are tons of different hierarchies for men to climb to the top of. Being at the top of any of them will make women want you. Dance happens to attract a lot of women and not a lot of men, further amplifying this effect.
rebelde_sin_causa 5y ago
Being a good dancer is a panty wetter
KeffirLime 5y ago
Being the best dancer amongst other dancers even more so. Situational Alpha.
Ihatemoi 5y ago
Fuck yea can confirm. As a latin american guy who learned how to dance and living in Nicaragua, being able to handle yourself with confidence in the dance floor and showing off your moves goes a LOOOOONG way towards getting pussy.
​
I just go to dance and I instantly become the alpha of the night.
idgaf- 5y ago
Yup, pretty common to see instructors date girls way out of their league. Dancing attracts lots of BP guys (including past me) because of how easy it is meet & get physical with girls. Lots of them have no game. But those that do can clean up.
The newbie girls are much easier to date / plate, they look up to good dancers. The regulars are more wary of their reputation, and have to be discrete.
mmishu 5y ago
Does it really attract that many guys? Are they actually ballsy enough? Surely they’re weeded out a few sessions in right?
askmrcia 5y ago
The guys rotate. So yes it does attract a lot of guys. Like the guys will take a few lessons and then leave. However, there's always a new batch in the next class.
The girls usually stay a little longer especially if they are single. After a few times they get bored and don't come back.
Least that's the case in my swing dancing club.
The newest girls are the easiest to date. I'm talking like first time or second time.
They are usually there to meet guys and like op mentioned, most of the guys have absolutely no game there.
Some guys stay a while and get serious with it though (like me).
Narcius 5y ago
Is swing that popular to get girls? I thought they would prefer a Salsa dancer.
Also, are there swing dancers that one can learn from at home? I check out justsomemotion who has some good tutorials.
askmrcia 5y ago
I can't speak for your area. But in Midwest (Columbus oh, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati and Indianapolis) yea swing is a great way to meet girls.
Salsa is too and I believe salsa is more popular and their dances are more sexual.
So both work. In my area swing is easier because of the culture of it. Like you see a girl sitting alone, there's absolutely nothing stopping you to go talk to her while a song plays. It's often how I meet them.
And that's because swing takes a little more energy than salsa imo. So you will sweat and will get tired. And while people rest up you can strike a convo.
Maybe salsa is the same way, I haven't been to too many salsa to truly comment on it though.
As far as videos, I don't know any. I actually pay to go to workshops and video record them myself. Plus it's very hard to learn the moves on your own with no partner.
DavidEagle68 5y ago
Can definitely confirm. Had to clean mine up within the last month or two, and had some recent success since I put more energy in Salsa and Bachata.
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