Last summer I hooked up with a girl from bumble. Second date f-close, sex was nothing special. We later had coffee and she broke into tears about how she was seeing a guy who cheated on her and she used me to get back at him. She wanted to try to make it work with the guy so her and I could only be friends. And besides, she was going back to her home country in a few weeks. Fine, whatever.
We text here and there after she had been back in Japan for six months and she said she's coming back to my country and is really looking forward to seeing me. I've heard this song and dance from other girls and keep my distance, knowing full well there's a half dozen other guys she's "really looking forward to seeing".
We didn't meet after she came back, but we later match on Tinder. We have a laugh about it and decide to get together for coffee. Coffee leads to drinks and we divulge our sexual relationships to each other. She's fascinated at some of the texts one of my plates was sending me at the time. I guess this is enough to make her feel open to tell me about her situation.
She was churning through Tinder matches meeting guys, getting the betas to pay for dinner, fucking the occasional good looking one, but she said in general she didn't want to have sex with them, or anyone. If they were rich and good looking, she would let them fuck her, but she wasn't into it, and was even repulsed in some cases. I asked her why--
"I'm looking for someone like my ex. The guy I was with when I met you."
"What's so great about him? You're meeting powerlifters with million dollar apartments."
"I don't know. They are nice. But I can't erase him from my head. I'm... Actually still meeting him sometimes."
I ask more about him, and here he is: mid 30's, BPD, emotionally abusive, shift supervisor for a car park (lol), lives with roommates, but lean,handsome, and endowed. The key point here is he gives no fucks.
The sum of their relationship is now:
Him texting at 2am: "Come over and fuck me"
Her: "Okay"
Him after sex: "Clean up my room and fold my clothes"
Her: "Okay"
Him texting her later that day: "Hey I can't see you anymore. Goodbye"
At which point she feels used and meets some nice randos on Tinder. Rinse and repeat. One super sweet Iranian guy whose house she slept at three days in a row, without her letting him touch her? She left his place at midnight, via taxi, because Alpha guy told her to.
I was fascinated throughout, and asked her, "How do you feel when he texts you like that? And how do you feel after he's finished with you?"
"I feel like I'm always going to be waiting for his texts. So of course I'm so excited when I see one. After I feel a bit dirty and guilty.", she said, with a coy smile on her face.
CharacterReindeer 5y ago
I'd laugh if this idiot didn't represent a vast, vast majority of women.
Ruueee 5y ago
You are a material worshipping protestant slave
S-Blaze 5y ago
Possibly. But at the same time getting a well paying job that you can enjoy for living a good life and is a no brainer. I don't judge people that settle for less but at the same time there's a form of respect for people with ambition. As long as it's not some scummy business.
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NitroDen 5y ago
That's great and all, but the value of your words should be able to stand without having to remind us that you are female.
Kevin19Fish 5y ago
Key points were he was handsome with a big dick. Looks > all
Revo_Luzione 5y ago
Bad case of AW, for sure. I've seen a few bad cases, this is up there.
derrtderr 5y ago
That rapscallion. Classic.
There’s a screenplay in here somewhere.
Fromfame 5y ago
That word made me fucking lol, incredibly old fashioned, will use that
Imperator_Red 5y ago
I love alpha widowing chicks. It's the only way you can come close to possessing them in the way that your brain craves a woman to posses. If you've ever wondered whether you've alpha widowed a chick, ask yourself the following questions:
If you didn't answer yes to at least a few of these questions, then you've never alpha widowed anyone.
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
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ozaku7 5y ago
The more I read this shit the more I realize that the bunch of TRP is just dating garbage. I've dealt with those women, and I have dealt with the healthy dose of women aswell.
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Why do you date garbage? Because it's the easiest and the only you can get, because anything higher is out of your league or simply too much effort. Not touching such women at a distance, you can smell them around the corner.
ex_addict_bro 5y ago
Here's your problem.
If a few older, more experienced guys wrote some stuff over the internet and in books, then well... wel.... I'M SPECIAL so it doesn't apply to me, right?
And unless a stupid bitch tells you something, OH NOW I BELIEVE.
You've been brainwashed well enough so you can't really listen to the advice from elders. You're special. Endorsed Contributors know shit. Books know shit. I'm so fucking special snowflake.
If all you do is listen to some stupid bitch, you'll be no wiser than her.
red_philosopher 5y ago
I can't say that skepticism for new folk is unwarranted. I spent every night I could out prowling and verifying every last piece of information from here that I could. "Trust but verify".
Now, it's just an accepted part of my reality. Props to OP for being skeptical.
OP, BPD doesn't make you emotionally detached. BPDs are stupidly emotional and dangerous. Psychopaths? Now there's your emotional deadbeats.
FirstLastMan 5y ago
After growing up reading heaps of bullshit on the internet I'm inclined to skepticism. Combine that with deep BP conditioning and, well, it's really hard to swallow some RP theory without seeing it firsthand. I'm learning.
blackpilled_normie 5y ago
Very well reasoned and logical response.
Congratulations, you got shit tested by an endorsed contributor and passed.
[deleted] 5y ago
Haven't we all seen it all our lives and just trained ourselves to forgive, deny and keep searching for the unicorn?
face_north 5y ago
Boy ! Wat a response. Where is my bag of gold
ex_addict_bro 5y ago
The thing I'd like you to see is, that listening to a brood instead of an experienced man is exactly the blue pill conditioning you're talking about.
Aerophage1771 5y ago
He...literally just...addressed that...
CainPrice 5y ago
I forget where I read it, but it went something like if a woman is really into you, it's effortless. She'll show up at your apartment at 3am with no underwear on, with groceries, and dust and mop the place before she leaves. She will hide under your bed until your girlfriend leaves and revel in how deliciously dirty and slutty she feels. Because she likes feeling dirty and slutty for you. Like your little slut.
If you're dancing and jumping through hoops, she's not 100 percent into you. Sure, she could still be pretty into you. Maybe 90 percent. And that's still pretty good. But if a girl is all in, she'll do anything to fuck you, no matter how silly.
Ansec 5y ago
That's hilarious. I know a few girls like that. It's almost textbook. We could literally write a text book on female behavior. Everything makes sense once you figure this out. TRP is like the cheat codes to women.
garrypig 5y ago
Why are girls like that into trashy POS guys that have nothing going for them?
ozaku7 5y ago
They have actually confidence and still an interesting live vs that boring dude who just games every evening and has nothing else going for him either. Sure he graduated, has a job, but 9-5 bore-me-to-death personality.
​
It's how you look at it.
Cdsmasher 5y ago
Being treated like a trash slut feeds some mental issues they have (daddy issues, thinking its what they deserve and need... whatever it be). It never "nothing going for them". Good looks, big dick (especially for loose big vagina hoes), extreme level of confidence (sometimes related to being retarded and not knowing how worthless they are compared to others)... something that gives them the TINGLES. "Muh fillingz".
​
It's pretty disgusting. Aim at becoming good at pumping and dumping such types (if its your cup of tea). For a serious relationship, make sure she qualifies.
garrypig 5y ago
Makes sense. The hoe I was banging went back to her trash ex that consistently beats her and has a dead end 7/11 job, looks like a wookie and just in general has shit hygiene (Meth mouth, super hairy, dirty clothes all the time). He’s also a whiney emotional bitch so that might explain stuff too.
She was a trash person too, but it just didn’t make sense that she would go back to someone who breaks her nose for not getting in a car.
carbonhexoxide 5y ago
Exactly. They should be going for NICE GUYS like you who will TREAT THEM RIGHT. smh
SensualSeduction01 5y ago
Not what he was saying tho. He referred to his living condition.
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Kevin19Fish 5y ago
No what matter was he was a good looking dude with a big dick
CptFizz 5y ago
graphical tl;dr https://i.imgur.com/kd455b0.jpg
universalabundance1 5y ago
where do you get comics the likes of these?
redpilled_brit 5y ago
autismville by the looks of it
russian_nigger 5y ago
a lot of good ones in that series
http://i.imgur.com/BAX9flB.jpg
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moltenw 5y ago
I think those comics are generally anger phase induced, but at the same time, pretty accurate and sad/funny depending on how you look at them.
That said, the first one about "Simon" seemed unneccessary.
I understand the "harsh reality" part of it, but at the same time, good on him for trying and having fun. Of course a crippled guy will have a much much harder time to get girls, but in the comic, it looked like his life wasn't that bad.
I feel like the comics are very much so in the woman's frame as well.
That's my take on them, at least.
ozaku7 5y ago
Simon makes the best of his life but it's definitely not something that gets the girls off. He's in the end just a boring nerd having it already hard to make friends to begin with. It's something that doesn't even entertain the ladies, it doesn't entertain anyone. It's boring.
moltenw 5y ago
First of all, compromising your own values to better accommodate women is entering women's frame, that's number one.
Of course, you can have or want to have values/qualities that ARE better for accommodating women, but you need to do it from your own frame, not women's.
"I will become x and z to have better chance at fucking a HB9"
vs
"I will become x and z because I like doing it, or even if I don't, I understand the neccessity of it in the real world." (example - lifting, becoming more social etc etc). There's a major difference between those two.
The boring argument - from "getting women" perspective? Sure. It might not get the girls off, but why do you care about getting the girls off in the first place?
The boring argument... for his own frame, it doesn't matter. If we are talking about getting girls, then sure, he definitely should change the "Boring" aspect, but again, it would need to come from a "I want to become less boring" vs "I want to become less boring so I can get women" etc.
ozaku7 5y ago
It's a transaction. They only give you something you want if you give them something they want.
Sure there is enough bullshit theories on how you can get everything without giving anything in return. But let's keep it simple.
moltenw 5y ago
Good point. I do sometimes forget that it would be selfish of me to get everything out of a girl without giving her anything in return.
I don't mean it in a blue way, I mean it more as "make her feel excitement, fun" etc.
ozaku7 5y ago
Any relationship whether it's a romantic one, or a friendly one, or a business one. Between two parties, they should receive what is fair for what they are giving. Much like I am paying 100 USD for my pants, I help my friends move while I expect them to return the favor sometimes while we enjoy a beer.
A woman will never be your sexmaid mommy who does everything for you and praise you just because you exist.
moltenw 5y ago
Disagreed here completely.
You don't do things with the expectation that you'll be returned the favor.
I help my friends move because they are good friends of mine, and if they don't return the favor, I don't care, because I never expected them to do so.
I also sometimes won't help my friends move if I have more important things in my life. If they can't understand that I have my own life and things to take care of and they decide to cut me out of their lives, then maybe there wasn't a friendship in the first place.
The only thing I do consider at that point is how much the "friendship" is only on my side, and wether continuous actions like that impact my own enjoyment in that friendship.
You can't change how they will act, you can only change how you act.
Have 0 expectations.
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HermitOfThe6Paths 5y ago
Seems like dude has alpha Buddha traits. He just has the quality that she can't keep away from
Ananonguy88 5y ago
Welp, that's actualy sad that her ideal of male is a parking lot guy living with roomates and treating her shitty.
I wonder what was her father like and her relationship with him. There are lot of girls like that but they are somehow damaged, not worth too much bother beside a ONS unless you are BPD parking lot guy.
nebder 5y ago
Women don’t give a flying fuck what the AF does for a living, only the BB. I don’t give 2 shits what my plates do for a living beyond making some conversation. They don’t ask me about my work beyond the once where I play it off.
You’ll be better served by not projecting male desires onto females.
p3n1x 5y ago
Biology is more powerful than your opinion of what "quality" is.
He is the only guy not kissing her ass. She fucks the guys with "good jobs" to satisfy her mental reputation, BUT, none of those bloops make her tingle.
omega_dawg93 5y ago
it's the challenge to get him, and/or change him... improve him...bc he's the one not chasing her. he's her special project.
plus he's probably fucking her lights out and dominating her which they love.
when/if he gives in, she will call him a loser and emotionally dump on him... and leave.
don't waste your time trying to understand women... esp women under 30.
FirstLastMan 5y ago
This whole thing was shocking to me in two ways.
#1 I've always been sceptical of AWALT but this girl comes from a very traditional household. Good relationship with both parents and she cared for her dad as he withered away from cancer over the course of 1.5 years. No history of abuse that I know of.
#2 Emotion (or just tingles?) can subvert hypergamous tendencies. She had access to objectively much better guys. But she is dead set on taming the wild boy who treats her like shit.
Ruueee 5y ago
I don't think you know what that word means
autoeroticassfxation 5y ago
'#1 Gave her an abandonment anxiety trigger that BPD boy preys upon. Imagine the fear and stress for long periods of time that the person you are closest to could pass at any moment, when you're young that scars you for life. Cluster B's always prey on past traumas. It appears to them like a hole in your emotional armour that they put a hook in. I swear they can see it just by looking at you. They are tuned to people's weaknesses. I'd estimate them at 5% of the population.
But yeah she is showing a massive character flaw by using these other men to bolster her ego only to feed their emotional energy to BPD boy. My skin crawls. Women love a vampire.
GerryxMotherfuckingx 5y ago
What do you mean by BPD boy?
autoeroticassfxation 5y ago
Borderline Personality Disorder, it's in the OP. They're in the cluster B group of personality disorders with the psychopaths, sociopath, hystrionics, and narcissists. Dangerous. And there's usually comorbidity with the other PD's in the group. There are no clear lines between them, the PD's happen because of a collection of different personality traits that everybody exists in the spectrum on, just usually not to pathological levels.
Go down the "cluster B" rabbithole on youtube, it's fascinating and will help protect you from them. The Vampire, Succubus, Incubus myths are based on them, they're more common than you realise. Start here.
GerryxMotherfuckingx 5y ago
Ha I've looked into all of this. It's super interesting that those myths were based on serial killers and sociopaths of the time.
Lately I've started to wonder and worry that I may be part of this group of people.
autoeroticassfxation 5y ago
I think everyone needs to reflect on their own behaviour and emotions to keep themselves in check. I could have been a narcissist if I hadn't checked myself and learned philosophy and psychology. But I've also been in relationships with 2 girls in the cluster B spectrum so I've been on the receiving end of it which gave me empathy for it. I also have issues with an abusive childhood.
Learn about it so you can learn how to improve yourself if you have some toxic attributes. Realise that if you address the behaviours, you'll make good behaviours habit, and that is how you progress.
gunman777 5y ago
She sounds like a disgusting human being.
EternalPropagation 5y ago
It's basic human psychology. That's like hating your dog.
redpilled_brit 5y ago
Yea, and I bet she's real pretty too.
Chaddeus_Rex 5y ago
And thats why you and the 251 boys who upvoted you, will never experience true desire and "love" from a woman, all because you think and write like a fucking woman.
All woman are like her. I have done this myself with seemingly well educated and family oriented girls (who love their mother and father) as well as ratchet hoes.
FirstLastMan 5y ago
I'm not gaming at the moment so I didn't really have designs to try to fuck her last night. I figured if it went in that direction... cool.
But after just our conversation I had to take a shower. Yikes
Zoddo 5y ago
For real. This is a great post, but boy did it make my skin crawl.
boy_named_su 5y ago
Her fuckboi sounds like a champ though
jackandjill22 5y ago
You are what you attract. Although those dudes just letting her float in their lives in take up space are partly to blame.
Embracing_Chaos 5y ago
And that's man name was... Chad.
CasaDeFranco 5y ago
He's a shift supervisor at a carpark in his 30's.
markinsinz7 5y ago
That a whole lot of them mate. Yea there's stable level headed girls but at one point they all were this ♤ girl
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grumpieroldman 5y ago
So she's submissive. Why do you care? Enough to be disgusted? Weird.
gunman777 5y ago
a) I don't care
b) I didnt say I was disgusted. I said she sounds disgusting.
whittlingman 5y ago
"Enough to be disgusted?" Seems like it questions if you are disgusted by her, more than it being a judgment that her personality just seems shitty.
I'm getting the sense you mean she seems like she has a disgusting personality, like as a person she seems disgusting.
Not like she is physically disgusting or icky or something like that.
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universalabundance1 5y ago
She can't help herself, like a drug-addict she is addicted to his pure masculine frame.
MurkyArtichoke 5y ago
Currently witnessing alpha-widowing myself. I think i had slight oneitis with this girl, but i've finally been able to stop chasing her and just realise she is just unshakeable. Very similar to your own situation, sometimes i just wonder how i can't see the red flags earlier. We started seeing eachother, things seemed fine, but she told me she still had feelings for her ex and wasn't looking for something serious with me. I thought, "fine, then we can just have casual sex at least", but she didn't give in to that either, just teased. After a while i could just feel her slipping away, she stopped texting me in the same way she used to. Wanna know why? She started talking to this ex again, who btw lives in a different country, and she travelled all the way over to that country just to fuck this guy and stay with him for a few weeks(she admitted this to me a while after). A friend of her showed me a picture of her ex when i met her at a bar once, and he truly looked like a typical top-notch chad. Tall, handsome, dark hair, muscles, the whole package. He doesn't do shit for a career though, but like it showed in your example; it doesn't matter.
I was just used to appease her need for attention and validity. It's a great lesson though. Once she's alpha-widowed, no guys will ever live up to her standards, even if he's a millionaire. The only thing that can break the curse is another alpha of the same calibre.
BigDino1 5y ago
How do you compete with these guys if you don't look as good as them?
FirstLastMan 5y ago
What I left out of the OP to keep it short on fluff is she told me about a couple of the really top-tier BB guys. She's in her late 20's and she said repeatedly that she wants to settle down (she knows damn well the wall is coming).
One middle-aged millionaire Chinese guy took her out over a period of weeks, bought her whatever she wanted, took her on a vacation, paid for every meal... And eventually offered her marriage.
He would probably buy her a car, they'd have a swanky apartment downtown, early retirement, the whole nine yards. On top of that she would get her PR because her working visa is going to run out eventually. But nope! Alpha dick is calling. She could fully conceptualize losing her future in this country to keep a guy who treats her like shit. So she dumped the Chinese guy. At least she had the moral standing to not marry him while getting dicked on the side.
geo_gan 5y ago
I fear most women would have done the opposite and used the Chinese guy as easy life while alpha on side as you said.
[deleted] 5y ago
That's what a smart one would have done. She's clearly a fucking idiot.
ozaku7 5y ago
You guys are so focussed on bitching at the women for not accepting your beta offering but choosing the alpha offering you cannot offer yourself.
​
Just accept that with women, tingles talk, not money. Money doesn't give tingles.
FirstLastMan 5y ago
In order to adjust behaviour for best results, we need to make observations-- that's all I'm doing. I don't think anyone is bitching here. If anything, I find her story to be tragically hilarious.
I learned a long time ago not to feel anything at all about whatever whims a woman feels.
ozaku7 5y ago
You're simply biased by looking for confirmation in your believes and focus only on one "wavelength of the entire spectrum".
AWALT is nothing but a "all dogs bite" mechanism. All dogs can bite, but not all dogs will bite if you don't behave like the cunt that they would bite. Just saying. If all you find is cunts, maybe take a look at yourself because you might be the asshole.
FirstLastMan 5y ago
This is one story about one girl presented as a demonstration of something I had a hard time believing when only reading it online. That's it. You want to read a bunch of my apparent personality traits into it? Knock yourself out.
ozaku7 5y ago
Rather that any posts on TRP should always be taken with a grain of salt because we don't know if it's an average joe or a total goober on the other side of the internet line, and it's still only one side of the story.
There is one simple truth, once you see it you start to stop giving a fuck about TRP altogether because you don't need that community anymore. It just clicks, k, thx, bai.
Xanax_Guy 5y ago
I understand being lean, handsome and IDGAF makes you more attractive but I don't get BPD. Does it make you attractive or just a coincidence? And if it does, How?
trp1784 5y ago
Idk about BPD in guys, in fact it's pretty rare, but having dated a couple BPD girls I can see the appeal. They have an insane sex drive, tons of energy, no inhibitions. When they are interested in you they are incredibly fun, no sane person can compare. There are a lot of more serious downsides though, long term they will really fuck up your life, but they are kind of addicting.
[deleted] 5y ago
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Men wear narcissism very well. It's been stated here plenty of times and in the literature linked from the sidebar.
​
Think of it pragmatically. A narcissistic man is controlling so she can slip into his frame, and he will always get what he wants from the world. She's confident she can always get from him what she wants. Women tend to be confident in their skills of manipulation.
p3n1x 5y ago
That is what SHE told him. Don't rely on that evaluation at all.
All women who meet a DGAF man will label him emotionally abusive. They will label all men who don't buy their bullshit as "emotionally abusive".
bakamoney 5y ago
Lol this is so perfect.
Irrelevant of how good you had it with a girl. Once its over - she will shittalk the fuck out of you to her friends and future partners for maximum sympathy points.
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max_peenor 5y ago
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4cax09/the_lightswitch_effect_why_women_rewrite_the/
geo_gan 5y ago
Emotional abuse of a woman - when you cause the Hamster to spin so fast and long it gets tired out ????
New_Guard 5y ago
Last summer, I was hanging with several guy friends at a beach party, and we were all rejoicing about freeing ourselves from our relationships, as well as complaining about the bullshit women put us through. I mentioned that the most recent ex several times called me a 'psychopath' because I failed to buy in to her emotional manipulation. That story was met with a chorus of laughter, because all the other guys had been called the same thing for the same reason.
geo_gan 5y ago
For a woman, not easily manipulated = practically a psychopath, given how easy she normally manages it with majority of blue pills.
SalporinRP 5y ago
Because the manic periods of bipolar periods are usually fun to be around. My ex was bipolar (found out months into our relationship) and the manic episodes were fucking awesome to be around. Crazy sex drive, outgoing personality, etc.
mojavelover 5y ago
Can Confirm. But the Bad times with a Bipolar are as equally insane.
BP's are fun as hell, but don't get attached. Don't go over 3 months of great sex and manic episodes or you're fucked. My ex-BP asked me to marry her, before she moved to Missouri from California and asked come with her. She left her dog and a handmade skull ring before she left.
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U-94 5y ago
Girls think guys' sudden disinterest in them after sex is BPD.
[deleted] 5y ago
Ok now that's some funny shit.
KarmicPrism 5y ago
I won't even talk to a female after I've cum sometimes. Zero interest.
U-94 5y ago
And that's completely normal.
KarmicPrism 5y ago
Definitely. But try explaining that to a bitch who just had multiple orgasms, and wants to cuddle like it's the end of the world.
FirstLastMan 5y ago
I was just listing all the traits she told me about him. I doubt BPD is good in any way except being able to be completely detached from other peoples' emotions at times
Throwawaysteve123456 5y ago
Okay. Help me out with this one. Everything I know suggests that a guy with BPD would have the least amount of game possible. He would be needy, clingy, and over-emotional. I don't get it?
mountainbiker178 5y ago
Unless she knows he was actually diagnosed with BPD, I would just assume that's her way of hamstering why he acts that way.
Haki_User 5y ago
Well you know the tip "Engage in her emotions, make her angry, make her happy, make her confused, push her away, pull her back" and all that shit? No one does it better than someone with BPD.
However there is a contradiction here, if he had BPD he'd have severe attachment dependence. Thus he'd be the one worried to death she might leave him.
geo_gan 5y ago
Would Heath Ledger’s Joker have this BPD trait? Trying to pin down what it looks like in action in reality.
Eccoedo 5y ago
Im more interested in your engage with her emotions thing... I have a girl around me that its behaving just like that, sometimes i can make her happy, sometimes confused, sometimes angry ecc just one week ago she texed me "leave me alone for some time". We usually met after some months, she told me that she is very attached to me but we end argue cause she is very egoistic. Even if she has a big attachement on me we still havent fucked, what am i missing? Ahah
KazarakOfKar 5y ago
Having plated a BPD girl once upon a time for almost two years I understand the allure. The complete lack of inhibitions , heightened sexual drive and general outgoingness of manic episodes is very attractive. I assume that is pretty universal between male/female and female/male attraction.
The obvious downside is the depressive periods. In this case hamster deals with the roller coaster ride because the only A+++ grade Chad she can really get her hands on consistently is this mentally fucked BPD Alpha.
In this case Chad is actually doing himself a favor by pushing her away during his depressive periods; she gets to ride him all night long when he is up and fuck off when he is no fun at all. He has basically weaponized his BPD for maximize attraction to this Alpha Widow.
growingstronk 5y ago
You are referring to BD, or bipolar disorder, which is charactered by (hypo)manic episodes and depressive episodes that oscillate between each other.
BPD, or borderline personality disorder refers to somewhat of a different disorder, but equally as alluring and equally as toxic
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HiggsBooze 5y ago
Can confirm. I had a bipolar guy in my family; in retrospect, his manic phases looked like him having a natural titanium frame, he could quit mid conversation, if he saw someone is not sharing his enthusiasm for whatever idea he was cooking; and guess what: usually, the younger the woman, the more enthusiastic she was. All this came at a huge price, quite literally, actually: he made a huge debt, lost his teaching job and from what I know works on a farm in Netherlands now.
growingstronk 5y ago
Initially, BPD can be even more hot than BD. BPD refers to an inability to see grey in things, so in her eyes (assuming it's extreme) you can't be just a great man with some flaws. You are the physical manifestation of a greek god on earth and she will treat as such, until you do something wrong. At that point you become the devil, and she will do everything in her power to destroy you
Cdsmasher 5y ago
Come on, have you all seriously not heard about "any emotion is better than no emotion" etc.? Most girls (broken/not relationship material) prefer the rollercoaster emotion ride, positive to negative, over a stable (i.e. boring) relationship. They need the high which they are addicted to. That's why all the drama. That's why all the sluttiness, cheating, "it just happened" shit.
​
BPD is a buffet for emotions.
Xanax_Guy 5y ago
Thanks for the explanation. That really helped the logic set. But is there an evolutionary explanation for this? The fun part is ok but being really unstable shouldn't be good for natural selection.
KeffirLime 5y ago
To her happiness implies care, sadness implies care.
His unavailable aloof attitude signifies high value, and better prospects, which evokes this happiness when available and sadness when unavailable.
This up and down emotional rollercoaster signifies to her that she must care deeply for him.
BPD is not necesaraliy the high value trait that's being selected for but rather the masking and appearance of an unavailable high value male.
SemiLoquacious 5y ago
There's a theory that BPD is the result of environmental mismatch: humans evolved to live in a certain kind of environment and we've been pushed into social arrangements that aren't compatible with our nature.
Cdsmasher 5y ago
Why are you seeking for an "evolutionary explanation"? Our society has turned into an abomination with little to no coherence to natural evolution. Social media leading people (mostly females) to spiral out of control with all the attention whoring, basing their self worth looking at others' adventures/happiness etc. They seek more and more validation and like addicts, they always require a bigger hit. Aging hits, and they all become miserable. Living like mindless drones with zero skill, no hobbies or passion (besides "traveling" lol). What do most women you meet focus on in their life? Just observe.
​
In such broken state, don't try to seek for some logical evolutionary explanation crap.
ZephyrBluu 5y ago
You do realize a shit ton of current RP concepts are based on evolutionary psychology, right?
Cdsmasher 5y ago
Of course it is. But being red pilled does not imply that one should explain/label every behavior as if it was all a national geographic animal documentary like an autist (which apparently many, many are).
KeffirLime 5y ago
It does imply that you understand male and females biological drivers. Why they do what they do and how to best navigate their inherent human nature.
New_Guard 5y ago
I haven't explicitly read this anywhere, but I'll submit my own suspicion that a large number of mental illnesses that relate to interpersonal dynamics (BPD, BD, etc) exist and are perpetuated in our gene pool not because they provide survival advantages in a broader, long term sense, but because the illness itself is parasitizing our evolved priority set in sexual relationships.
Example 1: You're seeing a girl who turns out to be bipolar. She's clearly unstable, and you don't want to give her any sort of permanence in your life because she would clearly fuck it up, but the sex is soooo fucking good, and her worshipful state when she's manic makes you feel like a total fucking god. So you keep fucking her. In a pre-birth control world, now you've made a kid with her. Bipolar disorder has parasitized your sex drive by making her more sexually experimental and exciting than the competition, so you effectively choose her, even though you didn't want to. The seemingly maladaptive BD genotype has now perpetuated itself into the next generation.
Example 2: A girl is dating a guy who's autistic. He isn't very good at reading social cues, and consequently, he's not super high in the social hierarchy, nor is he exactly a smooth seducer. But what he lacks in social ability, he makes up for in his guileless desire to be in a relationship with her. It seems clear to her that he's not going to be a cheater and will stand by her side faithfully if she lets him, so lacking better prospects, she makes him permanent. His lower level of social intuition has hijacked her evolved desire to find a parter who will give her long term investment, and the seemingly maladaptive autistic genotype has been perpetuated into the next generation.
Etc, etc. You can tell the same story for BPD, and perhaps a few other diseases. Maybe not all of them: I can't think of one for schizophrenia, for example. But you also have to consider that, evolutionarily speaking, the average age of reproduction was often at or just earlier than the onset of many types of mental illnesses. So some may have been selected for because of early disease symptoms before the disease fully manifests, and others may simply not have been selected against because they never appeared in any way until after reproduction had already happened.
Remember, evolution is a messy process, not a finely oiled machine.
LiteSoul 5y ago
birth control pills changed our world in ways we don't yet fully understand, it's a 'before and after' event.
As someone said, it's a bigger invention than the internet in it's impact
Chaddeus_Rex 5y ago
BPD is beneficial in a crises situation. People with BPD/deppressiveness are much better able to thrive when everything is turning to shit and everyone around them is dying. Women with BPD were better able to survive in the ancient environment that was full of danger.
Muscular_Sheepherder 5y ago
Problem is that it runs in families, and skips generations. So the mental illness doesn't necessarily increase your sexual survival advantage, although maybe other traits likely to be expressed in the families with mental illnesses do increase sexual value, like increased creativity
New_Guard 5y ago
Fundamentally, anything that makes you more likely to reproduce is an evolutionary win. As soon as you are no longer producing offspring, you're largely irrelevant from an evolutionary perspective (except to the extent that you help your kin to succeed and reproduce). So mental illnesses that exploit a niche in the sexual marketplace to increase the possibility of reproduction can lead to reproductive advantage (without even considering any of the associated increases in creativity, etc, sometimes seen in some mental illnesses).
The fact that many mental illnesses run in families and skip generations isn't an argument against my overall point. Mental illnesses, like most features in our phenotypes, are brought about by a complex interplay of multiple genes and our environments. A phenotype doesn't have to exist throughout the entirety of an organism's life and continuously down an organism's lineage in order for selection to act upon the genes involved in creating that phenotype.
geo_gan 5y ago
Can you give a BPD example? I can’t understand that one myself.
New_Guard 5y ago
Example 3: Sally has gone several years without having a satisfying relationship where a man really wholeheartedly invested in her, and she's tired of being plated. She goes on a few dates with a new guy who has BPD, and he's different from her previous experiences - they immediately form an incredible connection. He's so passionate and intense, unlike any guy she's ever experienced, and he's a wild animal in the sack. She knows it's very early in the relationship, and she knows she should be cautious, but she's already starting to think that maybe he could be a life partner. But then after a few weeks, he starts acting jealous and controlling, seemingly hot and cold at the flip of a switch. She feels manipulated, and doesn't completely like it, but it also makes him seem even more dominant and masculine, it's exciting, and it makes her want to bend over backwards to make him be give her his passion again. BPD has hijacked the normal emotional escalation of a relationship and tricked her with signals that he's incredibly in love with her, making her emotionally over-invest. In a pre birth control world, she has offspring with him by now, and his BPD genes have been passed on to the next generation.
Chaddeus_Rex 5y ago
Whats the difference between a normal guy showing signs hes fallen in love with her after a few weeks and a BPD guy doing the same thing?
geo_gan 5y ago
Thanks. Still not ???? what BPD is if I came across someone with it in real life which is worrying to me. Want to know it when I see it and avoid like plague.
New_Guard 5y ago
Yeah. There's a lot of resources out there on the Internet telling you how to be a good partner to someone with X mental illness. Don't fall for it. The standard societal message is "mental illness shaming is a problem in our country, and it prevents faultless people from going in for the treatment they need." I totally agree that they don't deserve censure for having their problems, and on an interpersonal level, they deserve arm's length compassion and reinforcement to get the treatment they need. But never ever date them. As soon as your psyches become entangled, their mental health becomes your mental health. No pussy is worth that.
Read up on depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder in particular. Fortunately, I've never dealt with BPD, but I've been with girls with all three others. I have no formal mental health training, but I feel like I should have an honorary degree for all the background reading and firsthand therapy I offered. Never again will I date a girl I know has any mental health disorder. If you truly hold yourself to that standard, you'll see that the redpill mantra that almost no girls are actually worth dating seriously isn't misogyny - it's just a simple observation based on incidence of mental illness (combined with a few other basic but rare necessities).
geo_gan 5y ago
The problem with dealing with any woman is it’s hard to tell if she’s actually crazy or if this is just how a “normal” female behaves ????. They really are on another planet in the way they think and react. I have some experience but like I said can’t tell if that was just normal behaviour. I agree best to avoid.
SensualSeduction01 5y ago
Nigga how the fuck did you arrive at that conclusion?
4gliders 5y ago
I wish I had a girl like this
scrappyo 5y ago
two words
WELL
ENDOWED
listenhereboi 5y ago
I don't see how it helps. I'm way above average in that department but nobody knows that until I'm already in. I'm nothing special otherwise as I'm not that tall and am a really slim build.
LeonardoDiDraperBond 5y ago
The thing that mattered the least from the whole story
KarmicPrism 5y ago
Don't knock it till you got a long shlong.
pill_miner 5y ago
The key point here isn't that he gives no fucks. It's that he's endowed and tall.
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tall_bacon 5y ago
If a woman is attracted to BPD, she was abused as a teenager or a child or never had a proper father figure, 100% guaranteed and you should stay 1,000 miles away at all times.
Going after the IDGAF irresponsible chad is expected, but not going after an abusive, mentally unstable person with mood swings and personality changes from BPD.
Flying_Wingback 5y ago
Why are you even interviewing her about this stuff?
Imperator_Red 5y ago
He's gathering data to share with ungrateful folks like you.
caneyfan 5y ago
Do you know why the CIA exists and why it’s so powerful? Intel. Let’s thank OP for providing real life recon work.
Flying_Wingback 5y ago
Not really, OP just putting himself in the friend zone doing that. We already know what Alpha widow is, don’t really need any more info to make ourselves feel good
Metallurg2 5y ago
If we knew everything and nobody wrote anything, how would this sub exist?
Unboundaries 5y ago
Lmao, and some dudes think you need money for a woman to want to bang them.