FIELD REPORT: “M” from Tinder
Caveat: It's been a very long time since my last visit here, and I haven't bothered reading any recent posts to get a sense of what the community is like these days. I have a field report, and I'm gonna post it. Do as you will.
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Summary: linked up with a girl on Tinder (first time success from that app), had good text convo, met up at a bar. Girl was fatter than advertised by pictures (common on dating apps). Great rapport, very good chemistry. Escalated physically at the bar, received countless IOIs and physical reciprocation, until abruptly parting ways at the end of the night. She drove to my place a couple hours later to have sex in the parking lot.
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Body:
Last Sunday. 4 day weekend for Veterans Day. Met her on Tinder, she messaged first. Started talking in the early evening, met up with her at a local bar that night.
Pictures: 7 in appearance. Attractive face, not athletic but with pleasant curves. Large rack, lots of sexy outfits in pictures.
Reality: 3 in appearance. Too much make-up (face by itself would be a 7 with more natural make-up), more extra weight than indicated in pictures. Large rack, wearing a skillfully put together outfit to make her more attractive / less fat.
Notes on this: I don’t fetishize fat girls, but I don’t immediately discount them based solely on their fatness. I’m not as attracted to her as I would be to an athletic girl, but the combination of her facial bone structure, demeanor, and the chemistry between us does equal some attraction.
First couple of hours spent building rapport (talk about our lives, explore some shared interests i.e. music, “getting to know you” phase). During this time, slowly escalated physical contact (hand on shoulder, hand on knee/upward to thigh). Consistently received IOIs (hair-twirling, shoulder movement, eye movement).
Conversation included how she liked my profile for being no-bullshit and direct, and she admitted that she had a young son and was divorced, something not in her profile. I held frame by reiterating that I had no children or ex-wives (something stated at the beginning of my Tinder bio), and told her that it was a non-issue for the sort of casual relationship I was interested in. She agreed enthusiastically.
Eventually found the right time to initiate a kiss. Well-received.
Shortly after the kiss, she mentioned another man she had been “talking to” (read: an orbiter). Encouraged her to fuck with his head. Began pointing out men she could go say hello to anytime she looked in their direction. Eventually, grabbed her phone while she had her snapchat open and sent a sexy message to another guy she was talking to, asking to let her “blow his mind”. Received heavy IOIs after this point.
At another point a bit later, I picked up her leg and faked playing guitar with it to the tune the band was playing, strumming down from her ankle to her inner thigh. Immediate rise in IOIs (startled laughter, lots of eye and eyelash movement, she began initiating touch without my lead).
Several times, she wanted to take snapchats with me. Continually went over the top to “ruin” the snaps by making effeminate gestures, pulling the cleavage-line of her shirt down, and kissing her during the shot. She kept saying I was going to “make so many guys mad”, to which I agreed and amplified (tell them to come fight me, tell them this is where I am, etc). During last snapchat attempt, I sloppily licked the side of her face. Enthusiastic, fake-shocked response. She began initiating kisses after this point.
Toward the end of our time at the bar, she began trying to convince me to buy her a beer (I was receiving a discounted rate for Veterans Day). Steadfastly but playfully refused, IOIs continued. She began saying that she needed to get home to her kid, but body language indicated that she wanted to continue escalating physical intimacy. We paid our separate tabs, and I led her out to my car. Opened the door, she got in. Tried to get her in the backseat, but she said it was too small (it was, it’s a small car). She suggested we “go to her truck instead”.
While walking to her truck, I could see the moment her rational processes started taking over from her hormonal desires. She kept saying things along the lines of “wait, what are we doing?” and “I should get home”. When we got to her truck, I pushed her against the door and started making out with her. She enthusiastically returned.
Consistently positioned her to move into the backseat of her truck (it was an SUV). Shot down every time. A few minutes of making out, and then someone started to get into the vehicle next to us. She seemed embarrassed, and turned away saying “i have to go, I have to be done”. Pulled her aggressively into one more kiss, then turned and walked away calmly, telling her to text me tomorrow.
Returned home, went to sleep. Was woken up a couple hours later by a text message from her. “Can I come fuck you now?”
Due to living situation (military barracks), I can’t have guests in my room after a certain time. Texted her “parking lot, or wait until tomorrow.” She responded “parking lot”.
Met her when she arrived, climbed into her SUV, and moved to a secluded and dark parking lot. Immediately moved to the backseat, began sex. She was fully into it, no hesitation. Super fun lay. Kept it going for a couple of hours, parted ways with plans to meet up again for more sex during the day.
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Lessons Learned:
- Show that you’re willing to give her away to another man. This demonstrates abundance mentality & a sense of masculine playfulness.
- If you have any desire whatsoever to have sex with her, continue to physically escalate. This girl is nowhere near as attractive as I would have liked, she has too much body fat. But I felt the chemistry, I knew she’d be fun, and I went with it. Physical escalation is communication, and will be reciprocated.
- No matter how well you think it’s going, don’t be upset when her mood shifts toward more practical matters (i.e. hold frame). If she ends the physical escalation to go home, don’t get angry. Keep in mind that this is now her entire perception of you, and your willingness to simply walk away can very much make her regret that you did.
- Be direct. If she wants to meet up and you have limiting factors, let her know what will work and what her options are (again, hold frame).
- Bigger girls are easy.
SoulRedemption 5y ago
I know a few guys are talking about why fuck a "3"?
From what I undeestand HB stands for Hot Babe, and the hot babe scale is 1 - 10. Which means, technically ugly chicks dont even make this scale. There should be an amount of attractivess already to be in the HB scale.
If I digress and put all chicks on the scale, we also have to remember perceptions vary. When some guys here talk about HB9 and HB10, in their life this is probably the highest approachable they had so far. What happenes later on if they meet an even a hotter chick? It wont be HB11. They'll get grouped as the less attractive girl previously as an HB10.
I think alot of us overshoot the scale too. So its possible one guys HB6 can be another guys HB4. And vice versa.
I enjoyed the post. He talks about the techniques and the approach. Which is the key take away for me. Also remember, just cuz a chick is HB4 its not always easy to lay. Their hamsters kick in. They also believe they deserbe better in relative to their attractive scale.
Gud stuff OP.
PS: Major point of OP, he hadnt been reading too much recently, instead applying what he already learnt.
classicverdant 5y ago
You are only lowering your standards by actually courting an ugly fatty. I would understand if you simply met on Tinder and hooked up right away. But to spend time with her in a bar, taking the effort to lift her heavy leg and what not implies you are somehow conditioned to think that you cannot aim higher. Aim higher
[deleted] 5y ago
Can you elaborate how exactly you refused to buy her a cocktail and how you held your frame?
_whistler 5y ago
Her: "You should buy me a beer!"
Me: "Nope, not gonna happen!"
Kept the tone playful.
Keep in mind, when she initially arrived she handed her card over to the bar tender to open a tab, so she already was in the mindset that she was buying her own drinks. This is easy to maintain.
Also, after the first hour or so, I said, "Hey, let's do some shots, I'll buy the first round." Same as I would with a male friend. Not gonna feed this chick shots all night long, but I buy two, you buy two, etc. Which is what happened.
Her asking me to buy her a beer happened once she realized I was only paying $2 for beer and she was paying around $5 per. By that time, the frame of "we each buy our own drinks" had been firmly cemented, and keeping it that way took minimal effort.
As several commentors have pointed out, this interaction was easy mode. She was sexually available from the get-go, all I did was flow through the interaction and not fuck it up.
[deleted] 5y ago
Yeah, just wondering how to keep it playful. Don't want the vibe to die off but I don't wanna be that desperate beta buying her drinks either. Did you just immediately change the topic after saying that?
_whistler 5y ago
Change the topic? Yes and no. I don't usually have topic-based conversations with girls, I keep it changing and flirty through pretty much the whole interaction. Even when talking about a topic - for example, we talked about bands we liked - I'll change the subject frequently with observations, arousal or push/pull language ('that pretty boy in the pink shirt over there wants you, you should go sit on his lap'), or whatever; and then change back to the original topic shortly after.
I think I started doing this unconsciously because I don't find most girls that interesting to talk to, but it works for me. Think of it as a sort of verbal change of venue. It conveys that my attention isn't hers to direct, and keeps her involved in what I'm saying without those drags in conversation when you both run out of things to say.
In the specific instance you're asking about, I really don't remember exactly what I did, but based on how I normally run things I most likely heckled her about trying to get a free beer and then went back to physical escalation. Physical escalation is the strongest part of my game, so I lean on it a lot.
MakoShark93 5y ago
Thanks for your service in this field report bro.
RedHoodhandles 5y ago
TL;DR
Guy meets with Tinder 7. Turns out she's a real life 3 with a kid. Due to significant SMV difference, date turns out to be easy mode. Guy cannot overcome LMR but because she's so underfucked, she texts him later and comes straight to the point to get dicked down. Guy hamsters all his right moves.
Gents whenever you walk down the street, see an extreme uggo chick with her child and wonder who felt the need to put his dick into that, this is your thread.
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bemore_ 5y ago
"Abundance, physicality, frame"
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https://imgur.com/a/rDFHyl9
CasaDeFranco 5y ago
This is why hambeasts feels entitled, because there is always some guy so thirty they would consider laying pipe to a what they define as a 3.
f0ster91 5y ago
LOL came here to say just that. Read this whole post as "Finally lost my virginity, are u proud of me boyz?"
I've gotten catfished from Tinder 3 times by land whales, as soon as I saw them I turned, walked out, and instantly deleted all contacts. Catfishes deserve no sympathy or you just encourage them to keep doing it and keep getting fatter.
Also I never meet Tinder girls for dates. It's her place or my place or we aren't meeting.
askmrcia 5y ago
Yea i blame my older brother and cousin as well. Those guys fuck anything. On very rare occasions they will pull something above a 6 but most times they are 4s and lower. And they honestly give no fucks if you call them out on it.
Nicolas0631 5y ago
So what ? If say men and women repartition is bell curve around 5, basically 50% of both sex are 5 or bellow meaning not everybody can expect to score a 7+ all the time. This is logical. Also as mens want quantity over quality, they'll accept to fuck lower score than they could to get abundance.
Also clearly the 3 score was pure physical general apperance apparently, but he was into her and likely the chemistry as he say, so likely she was more in effective 5-7 range when including everything, not just physical appearance. Remember that personal preference can shift the score significantly and also that there other aspects out there than pure physical appearance.
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And as I get it, she would be a solid 7 if she was slim with nice body features but just too fat... This is completely different from a girl that even slim and athelic would at best score 4 but is also quite fat.
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Anyway where the problem ?
RenaissanceMan79 5y ago
hamstering to justify banging a fatty. woman behavior
sorry but the scale is for rating looks and only looks. you want to rate personality, that's a separate rating, but honestly it doesn't matter unless you're looking for an ltr or friend.
woulda coulda isn't. she was a 3 when they banged and will likely remain so. this is more hamstering.
_whistler 5y ago
I'm curious, why don't you think I had the "right moves"? I thought I laid out my actions pretty clearly, and they worked the way they were supposed to. Yeah there was an obvious difference in SMV, so certainly "easy mode". But that doesn't negate Agree & Amplify, Abundance, Push/Pull, reading IOIs, or any of the other bits of my frame that closed the deal. Just want to know where our perspectives differ on this.
Also, not solely directed at you but just in general: what does this sub think a 3 looks like? A 1-10 attraction scale means that a 10 is your perfect sexual partner in every way, and a 1 is the lowest level of attraction you would still be interested in banging.
Just a little weirded out that because I rate this girl a 3, a lot of commentors take that to mean she's super ugly. Not the case.
RedHoodhandles 5y ago
By hamstering all your right moves I mean you couldn't do much wrong. Even if you somehow fucked up many shittests you would have banged her. Maybe just not on the first date anymore. There's not much to learn when the teacher gives you almost all answers.
Also it seems you've massively underrated that chick.
No. That's not how this works. At all. Here, as a rule of thumb.
Nicolas0631 5y ago
In that chart it is almost impossible to find a girl that is bellow 4 and most of the girl bellow 40 are at least 6 that far too gentle way to score.
_whistler 5y ago
You could be right, but I don't see the relevance. Is a Field Report now supposed to just be "Hey guys, look at me I've become Super-Chad because I passed all these shit tests and banged a 9 and her mom", or is it an opportunity to showcase how tried and true, dynamic techniques have been used to attain the desired outcome?
There obviously were shit tests - I recounted some of them - and I passed them. I'm not saying oh-look-how-fucking-great-I-am, because passing a fitness test is basic shit, and also because she was a 3 (or by that weird chart you posted, a 5-6). So what? The techniques are what matter in a Field Report.
Not that I mind the disagreement; iron sharpens iron. But I am a little annoyed that something I posted for the extremely new guys to use for a training-wheels-bang will probably not be as helpful because you and other commentors are fixating on the attractiveness of the girl, rather than the techniques demonstrated.
ArdAtak 5y ago
That's a BS chart. 6-2 and 6-7 are waaaaaaay hotter than 7-4.
_whistler 5y ago
Yeah I don't like his chart either, but mainly because I don't see attraction that way. Attraction isn't only on a scale, it starts as a binary proposition and then graduates to a scale
inwhen it assumes the positive position.Either you're attracted to a girl, or you're not. 1 or 0. If it's 0, 'nuff said. She's not a 3, or a 2, or a 1. She's a piece of furniture. She's a man. She's whatever else you don't want to bang. 0.
Now all the girls that are a binary 1, however, fall within some sort of range. You're obviously more attracted to some of them than others. Thus, 1-10.
This makes way more sense to me than that ridiculous chart.
ArdAtak 5y ago
No because then we can't compare a girl that you don't find attractive and one that your friend does. 1-10 comprises the entire spectrum of females. From grotesque to super model. Now we may still have varying preference and scales. It's a give that we won't always agree. You may bang anything you consider 4+. Your bro may draw that line at 6+. But at least when I come tell you I met a 9, you'll know what I'm talking about.
_whistler 5y ago
I'll know you're talking about a girl that you're attracted to at a 9-level. And because men are predisposed to be attracted to the same general features of women, I'll know that the girl will likely be pretty high up there on my scale, as well.
But this doesn't negate the idea that she must first fall within the binary proposition. A girl you rate a 9 has a statistically nonexistent possibility of being a 0 to me, 'cuz evolution. Maybe your 3 is my zero, or maybe she's my 6. I'm attracted to redheads so much that the girl I told my buddies was an 8, they saw as a 5.
Attraction as a binary is generally based in traits decided upon by nature. Attraction as a scale is far more subjective.edit: I'm editing because after re-reading that last sentence, I realize it doesn't say what I meant it to say. I'll rephrase.
There are certain things no man finds attractive - discounting the outliers who fetishize those things, of course. This is heavily related, although non all-inclusively so, to the binary phase of attraction. It exists, or it does not exist. And it's virtually guaranteed to exist if certain "attraction triggers" are in place: hip-to-waist ratio, facial bone structure, hair health, bust composition, etc.
The scale phase of attraction is much more heavily influenced by personal calibration. More nurture, less nature. I love redheads. Maybe you love blondes. I go bananas for chicks with a tasteful amount of ink. Maybe you're more rational, and see this as unwantedly impulsive and indicative of masculine behavior. Whatever the differences, the scale phase is where you will find the majority of them.
rodrigosuarez2k1 5y ago
I stopped reading at "3 in appearance". Why would you write such detailed report on how to bang a fat 3? Anyone can do it
_whistler 5y ago
It's not really a "how to", it's just a field report to highlight some things. No, banging a 3 isn't impressive, but I'm not here to get my dick stroked. The principles of male/female dynamics are the same from 1-10.
mich1990 5y ago
Congrats on learning the ropes. should be a confidence builder.
rodrigosuarez2k1 5y ago
Hmm call me crazy but i would rather jerk than fuck an ugly 3.
_whistler 5y ago
That's cool man, you do you.
[deleted] 5y ago
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_whistler 5y ago
Yeah you're probably right. I just like conversation.
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D1rkMcg1rth 5y ago
Girls love when you tease them about other dudes they are talking to, definitely abundance mentality. Great story and glad you pwn3d ch33ks.
[deleted] 5y ago
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Ansec 5y ago
Congrats! But honestly it's not that hard on tinder. If you're fit, have good pictures, and any game whatsoever, you can be banging 3 or 4 a month. You can even get girls to come straight to your place for a fuck.
_whistler 5y ago
I meant to respond to this earlier but forgot.
Here’s the thing: I’m not fit, I could stand to lose 30 lbs. I lift & run and do physical things, so I’m strong but fat I guess you’d say.
My pics are shit. I have pale, oily skin that definitely knocks at least 3 points off my looks in any photograph that isn’t heavily filtered. I know this, so I pick the best photos. But Snapchat is my worst enemy.
My game is on point because my frame is fucking ironclad. I’m not perfect, I still fuck up; but I do not compromise my frame, not ever.
All this to say, it’s less likely I’ll generate attraction in an on-the-fence girl through Tinder. But in person, I have a good success rate. This was the first chick I’ve ever even met up with from Tinder, and the fourth from online dating, period. But I banged 3/4 of these chicks, because I’m far more attractive in person.
Ansec 5y ago
Do a photoshoot. You can do it yourself with your phone. Wipe down your face and stage some pictures. Thats what I do. Make it look like it isn't staged but that way you can really improve your photo game. It helps if you have a friend. Put those photos into an editing software and make 'em pop. Try to get photos that make people really want to join in. Start with your hobbies.
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nebder 5y ago
Fuck the haters.
Welcome to tinder, where you say well fuck it I’m already here let’s see how this plays out.
Congrats on the W. My advice is don’t slot yourself into the “only less attractive women want me” spot in your head. That can happen from slumming.
Build on your success
_whistler 5y ago
Good advice. It's important to remember: always assume attraction. Doesn't matter if it's a 3 or a 9, she wants you until she makes it clear she doesn't.
Pretty much. Actually, I had a lot of fun with the girl from this report. I'm gonna see her again, but obviously not exclusively. Got a formal event coming up, so I'm casting my net out for some quality arm candy at the moment.
Always.