FIELD REPORT: “M” from Tinder

Caveat: It's been a very long time since my last visit here, and I haven't bothered reading any recent posts to get a sense of what the community is like these days. I have a field report, and I'm gonna post it. Do as you will.

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Summary: linked up with a girl on Tinder (first time success from that app), had good text convo, met up at a bar. Girl was fatter than advertised by pictures (common on dating apps). Great rapport, very good chemistry. Escalated physically at the bar, received countless IOIs and physical reciprocation, until abruptly parting ways at the end of the night. She drove to my place a couple hours later to have sex in the parking lot.

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Body:

Last Sunday. 4 day weekend for Veterans Day. Met her on Tinder, she messaged first. Started talking in the early evening, met up with her at a local bar that night.

Pictures: 7 in appearance. Attractive face, not athletic but with pleasant curves. Large rack, lots of sexy outfits in pictures.

Reality: 3 in appearance. Too much make-up (face by itself would be a 7 with more natural make-up), more extra weight than indicated in pictures. Large rack, wearing a skillfully put together outfit to make her more attractive / less fat.

Notes on this: I don’t fetishize fat girls, but I don’t immediately discount them based solely on their fatness. I’m not as attracted to her as I would be to an athletic girl, but the combination of her facial bone structure, demeanor, and the chemistry between us does equal some attraction.

First couple of hours spent building rapport (talk about our lives, explore some shared interests i.e. music, “getting to know you” phase). During this time, slowly escalated physical contact (hand on shoulder, hand on knee/upward to thigh). Consistently received IOIs (hair-twirling, shoulder movement, eye movement).

Conversation included how she liked my profile for being no-bullshit and direct, and she admitted that she had a young son and was divorced, something not in her profile. I held frame by reiterating that I had no children or ex-wives (something stated at the beginning of my Tinder bio), and told her that it was a non-issue for the sort of casual relationship I was interested in. She agreed enthusiastically.

Eventually found the right time to initiate a kiss. Well-received.

Shortly after the kiss, she mentioned another man she had been “talking to” (read: an orbiter). Encouraged her to fuck with his head. Began pointing out men she could go say hello to anytime she looked in their direction. Eventually, grabbed her phone while she had her snapchat open and sent a sexy message to another guy she was talking to, asking to let her “blow his mind”. Received heavy IOIs after this point.

At another point a bit later, I picked up her leg and faked playing guitar with it to the tune the band was playing, strumming down from her ankle to her inner thigh. Immediate rise in IOIs (startled laughter, lots of eye and eyelash movement, she began initiating touch without my lead).

Several times, she wanted to take snapchats with me. Continually went over the top to “ruin” the snaps by making effeminate gestures, pulling the cleavage-line of her shirt down, and kissing her during the shot. She kept saying I was going to “make so many guys mad”, to which I agreed and amplified (tell them to come fight me, tell them this is where I am, etc). During last snapchat attempt, I sloppily licked the side of her face. Enthusiastic, fake-shocked response. She began initiating kisses after this point.

Toward the end of our time at the bar, she began trying to convince me to buy her a beer (I was receiving a discounted rate for Veterans Day). Steadfastly but playfully refused, IOIs continued. She began saying that she needed to get home to her kid, but body language indicated that she wanted to continue escalating physical intimacy. We paid our separate tabs, and I led her out to my car. Opened the door, she got in. Tried to get her in the backseat, but she said it was too small (it was, it’s a small car). She suggested we “go to her truck instead”.

While walking to her truck, I could see the moment her rational processes started taking over from her hormonal desires. She kept saying things along the lines of “wait, what are we doing?” and “I should get home”. When we got to her truck, I pushed her against the door and started making out with her. She enthusiastically returned.

Consistently positioned her to move into the backseat of her truck (it was an SUV). Shot down every time. A few minutes of making out, and then someone started to get into the vehicle next to us. She seemed embarrassed, and turned away saying “i have to go, I have to be done”. Pulled her aggressively into one more kiss, then turned and walked away calmly, telling her to text me tomorrow.

Returned home, went to sleep. Was woken up a couple hours later by a text message from her. “Can I come fuck you now?”

Due to living situation (military barracks), I can’t have guests in my room after a certain time. Texted her “parking lot, or wait until tomorrow.” She responded “parking lot”.

Met her when she arrived, climbed into her SUV, and moved to a secluded and dark parking lot. Immediately moved to the backseat, began sex. She was fully into it, no hesitation. Super fun lay. Kept it going for a couple of hours, parted ways with plans to meet up again for more sex during the day.

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Lessons Learned:

  • Show that you’re willing to give her away to another man. This demonstrates abundance mentality & a sense of masculine playfulness.
  • If you have any desire whatsoever to have sex with her, continue to physically escalate. This girl is nowhere near as attractive as I would have liked, she has too much body fat. But I felt the chemistry, I knew she’d be fun, and I went with it. Physical escalation is communication, and will be reciprocated.
  • No matter how well you think it’s going, don’t be upset when her mood shifts toward more practical matters (i.e. hold frame). If she ends the physical escalation to go home, don’t get angry. Keep in mind that this is now her entire perception of you, and your willingness to simply walk away can very much make her regret that you did.
  • Be direct. If she wants to meet up and you have limiting factors, let her know what will work and what her options are (again, hold frame).
  • Bigger girls are easy.