This will be a short post, straight to the point.
Shit tests from women are neither good nor bad. They are simply to test your fitness. They try to poke holes in your demeanor to test if you're as strong as you're portraying. They are testing your evolutionary fitness. Simply an amoral truth.
A corollary that I've noticed is that the more you change as a person, the more shit-tests you'll get from men. That's right. Now obviously it's not sexual in nature, but the underlying concept is the same.
This pertains to the majority of the plugged in men who are weak (it does not apply to other men striving to reach their own peak potential).
They see you as different. They may have known you earlier when you were younger and softer, and they may have even liked you better before (probably because they could walk all over you easier).
But if they see you changed, if they see you get serious about your diet or career or lifting regimen, they will try to poke holes in your demeanor. They will challenge you not because they want you to be better, but because they want to see if you're pretending.
They wish you were still soft inside, and don't want to believe someone could change at their core. They might try to "bring you down to their level", the most important part of which is to "bring you down".
Never forget that you're on your journey to reaching your peak potential. Other men may shit test you to poke holes in your strength, to really see if you've changed.
Recognize what they're doing, immediately cut them out of your life, and use it as a filter to see who actually has the balls to join you on the journey of extreme self-improvement.
[@deeperthrill](http://twitter.com/deeperthrill), [www.deepthrill.com](http://www.deepthrill.com)
Eyeswears 7y ago
I wouldnt say it's necessary to cut out men from your life who shit test you. I may just be old-fashioned, but I thought men are supposed to bust each others' balls. It brings down fakers (good) and shows everyone who is full of shit who thinks he is a real deal (good). If you think your frame is big and strong from reading all little RP articles and posts but you're unwilling to be around guys who don't tolerate posturing and weakness, I don't think you're ready for the big leagues.
pizzae 7y ago
I really appreciate the examples you have posted, thanks for elaborating on this!
JFMX1996 7y ago
I strongly encourage anyone to:
Nothing funnier then when one of those dudes in the gym you knew from when you were beta comes to try to make you look bad when talking to a girl and utterly demolishing him with some witty comebacks after he tries to tease you so on. Make him look stupid, but don't get angry or emotional. Just like an obnoxious, bratty kindergarten aged step-child, tell him to fuck off and get back to talking to the girl. Haha.
The_Valuer 7y ago
This is the reason why when you can be totally fine with complimenting and be cool with other men accomplishments and you have the ability to make them feel good about themselves - it is a strong indicator of yourself as a strong man. I have a theory that if you consciously make the effort to be cool when other guys state their accomplishments and also encourage other men in their fortune, you make yourself stronger because you only feel comfortable to say it when you acknowledge your faculties of success and your skills when your friends are successful. so fake it till you make it. it is a muscle to work on even though I wouldn't recommend to do it in advance only when your friends say that it went good to them the other day. don't compliment when not needed.
bsutansalt 7y ago
What you are describing is a well-known phenomenon called "crab bucket mentality".
People hate being reminded of their own faults, laziness, and lack of success when one of their own breaks free of the mold and starts to find successes beyond that of the social group/peers.
AncientScrolls 7y ago
Most people dont have the willpower to do self-improvement in their lives. So when they see someone they know improving themselves and succeeding in life they´d rather push him to go back to his old ways since it "bothers them" seeing somebody who used to have the same problems as them succeeding. This is the famous "Crab mentality"
[deleted] 7y ago
Either don't have the willpower or PREFER to stay willfully ignorant (ie cant swallow the pill)
uttftytfuyt 7y ago
can someone give examples of shit tests, the things women say and how they say them ?
AncientScrolls 7y ago
Usually a women´s shit tests are disguised in some kind of joke about you or involving you and your skills. Lets say you started lifting and getting muscles she might shit test you saying "Oh so you been trying to become a player huh! You know thats not really how you conquer a a women´s heart do you?"
Or maybe lets say she makes an argument about something to test if you are going to keep your frame, point of vie and will remain calm without submiting to her wishes or perspective. Overall a shit test can come in all kinds of forms she asking for something for you to give, she crying or becoming emotionally unstable, a small joke just to see if you will lose your frame, having an argument with you about silly things and the list goes on. It can be incorporated in anything she speaks or does, sometimes they are hard to spot. But there are always some clues that can help you know if they are shit tests and as you get more experienced with women you will be able to notice when they are shit testing you and when they are just being "women". The best way to know if is a shit test: Usually only the women who already like you in some way or feel attracted to you and sees you as a potential lover, bf, one night stand will Shit Test you.
Papahoff25 7y ago
There are big posts on this somewhere, I'll try to find it and link it to you.
Edit: check the sidebar it's called Shit Tests 101
AFPJ 7y ago
Betas are literally women sans the vagina. Don't trust them, or their word.
They've no backbone, just like women. They were raised to act like women.
vagbutters 7y ago
I've said it before and I'll say it again about betas:
If it walks, talks, and acts like a bitch, it's probably a bitch. These pathetic children don't deserve to be called men.
TryDoingSomethingNew 7y ago
Agreed. If you want to get snitched on and accused or horrible things in a way that they can completely avoid confrontation and ruin your social circle(s), career, and more, than hang around a beta bitch.
I'll never give an "ok" guy a hard time, whether I agree with him or not, or like him or not, but a beta will. And betas deserve being called out especially in a way that exposes their cowardice.
An ass-beating would be a great prescription for them too, if you can get away with it.
I enjoy calling out the twats and when they get all "internet warrior" I mention I'll be happy to take care of it in person. Silence
Lifting has it benefits! ;)
vagbutters 7y ago
Remember, we're dealing with little bitches here, not men-- you treat them like you would a woman. Beating their asses to the ground is easy, but it would be breaking frame, and possibly putting yourself in a criminal position. Better to hold frame and let them suffer in silence. Trust me, these types of people have no real friends, and usually no women in their lives unless they're married (to a post-wall slut, at that).
TryDoingSomethingNew 7y ago
I suppose I have to agree with you. Maybe I over-reacted a bit, lol.
Good points - thanks!
atraw 7y ago
Now we are getting somewhere. Redpill is not about women, it is about life and your role in society.
Katavasis 7y ago
I get where you are coming from,but shit-talking is part of how men communicate.
We thrive when there's competition.
Of course,one should be able to tell the difference between malicious attack at your identity and friendly banter.
For the young kids though,i would not cut off friends of 20+ years so easily.If something is bothering you,you can straight up tell them and since they are not women lacking logic,they will respond.
If not,then you do cut them off.
A lot more has to be said about friendship.I am just offering a different perspecitve,that myself i am not sure if it's correct.
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johncrcf 7y ago
Different people use different kind of shit tests. It is so obvious when you start recognizing them. If you agree that men and women shit test differently why not go even further and differentiate? From my own experience I notice how people started treating me when I embrace the dgaf attitude and abundance mentality. I knew that some would go after my confidence like hungry hiennas. But these people weren't any good friends. They were mostly acquintances of mine. But it is easier to deflect their shit rather than from people who actually know your weaknesses and personal stuff. I still get shit tested on a regular basis by the people I know the longest and they know me pretty well.
I agree that men can shit test you in numerous ways. I have a friend who's nickname is "Fishy". Yes as repulsive as it can sound it really reflects well on his personality. He didnt have a GF for several years, he was vey awkward, socially awkward although he had friends but all those friends were his childhood friends. He'd constantly act like an idiot in front of everybody but not in a good idgaf way. More like in a sad embarassing idgaf im a loser kind of way. And he used to shit test me a lot. Especially when I started wearing dreadlocks. He used to insult me as he felt I had insecurity about my looks (acne, no style etc.). I would always tell him to fuck off but now I know I was that good guy who got easily offended by idiots like him. He always tried everybody's patience. Always being rude and trolling his mates. Back in the day I used to hate him. But now he has changed. He stopped that bullshit. Because guess what? He finally got some. He has a decent GF (fucks knows how maybe one of them actually found his psychopath/sociopath qualities attractive). So now he's a different man. Doesnt give his shit to anyone. He became rather friendly and social. Which is kinda good but sad at the same time because I know how bitchy and insecure he was before.
Tl;dr a guy changed his shit testing attitude after getting laid. Point - shit testing can be part of your own insecurity.
On the other hand I have people who tended to laugh at me when I went full vegan for a year. No alcohol no smoking only organic food and no meat or dairy. At first my best friends used to troll me non stop but after a few weeks they saw my frame and determination to go through with this shit. And nobody gave me shit 6 months in. Novody said anything and everybody respected my choice. Then one day I had to go to Georgian mountains to a hard and dangerous expedition. I knew it would be pretty hard surviving that without meat or dairy. So I made a rational decision to start eating it because I could have faced serous health problems otherwise. Ofc all my friends gave me shit for a month. But i knew my reasons and i just ignored them nobody cares now. Neither do i. They were just breaking my balls.
It can also be that they envied me. But what kind of envy is that if they eat meat and i started eating meat again? Where do i get advantage over them? Or they get over me? Their opinion does not affect my health. Ofc its nice to rub it in my face that i failed my veganism but well, even if its true, i didnt gove a slightest fuck. And when you are such frame of mind. You dont care about nature of shit testing at all. You just deflect them like terminator deflects bullets.
And I also break balls when i see a potetial in someone: i just instinctively have a laugh at them (not too hard ofc.) just to see if they really know what they are doing. Sometimes shit testing really IS subconscious.
Tl;dr My friends gave me shit when i became vegan and after a year i started eating meat again - extensive shit testing again. Both times after a short period of time it stopped because i stuck to my word and got through. Nobody teases me about it anymore. Point - good friends break your balls when they wanna see if you are a man of your word. And if they wanna see you fail youll never know for sure. But if you have a strong frame, you dont care either way.
So i believe that there are many different ways of tests let alone by men. Some are envious attempts to bring down your spirit. The others are just friendly ball breaking. Some we dont even know we perform on others. The fact is there will always be people that will play their little Machiavelian mindgames on you. People whom you consider close or at least good because you want to see the world a peaceful and beautiful place. Just don't be that naive. Not everbody is laughing with you. But for the sake of it, pretend it is exactly like that. Holding frame gives you a chance to always appear equally good to your enemies and friends.
clon3man 7y ago
There's a lot of ignorant people with bad advice, men or women. Filtering advice doesn't begin or end with jealous or skeptical men, it's everyone and for the rest of your life.
randomperson123321 7y ago
A truthfully valid point. Watch as the "friends", that you were going quite far in order to please in the past, with small to no appreciation and/or affection returned from their part start becoming aggressive, hostile, envious and jealous as you become a better man.
Watch them and make it one of your goals to never become like them, for the more resources you spend for others, the less resources you have for yourself. Not to mention that you will never be free having such a petty mindset.
NihilistMonkey 7y ago
Anyone who is serious about swallowing the pill and making real change in their lives will have to cut out most of their friends as they make that change. It's not malicious, but your friends are your friends because of common interests and shit. If you're literally changing who you are and becoming a different person, it stands to reason that your friends may not like the new you for whatever reason. They have an idea of who "you" are in their head and you are testing their beliefs by hitting the gym and banging chicks instead of smoking weed and playing Street fighter with them or whatever you did with your sad life before swallowing the pill. It's the same reason why we say to give up on that oneitis. The more time you spend with people the more hard-coded their script for how you should be behaving is. Your friends will always see you the way you used to be and so will that chick who didn't want to bang you two years ago.
Mobile formatting
SrPildoraRoja 7y ago
I find it difficult to handle. When you're starting to change but because of the nature of your job/duties you're frequenting the same places and people, you can feel their judgement. It's not like it's impossible to handle or anything, it's just that I'm aware of it and it kinda takes me out of the moment. Suddenly I'm aware of this dynamics and I'm out of "my zone". I think I still need to internalize a few things at a core level in order for this to not happen anymore
dRePe_Thill 7y ago
Had this thought the other day actually, since making changes I was surprised that this could come from males, but sound advice to cut them out when possible.
I think where there could be difficulty is cutting these men out in the workforce, social circle or mutual hobbies/clubs. What are your thoughts on handling the situation then?
hiaf 7y ago
I don't know about cutting them out. Shit, I still hang out with my old friends who recognize RP traits when it comes to women but still do loser things.
These guys knew you before you became RP, their jealousy isn't necessarily bad. The things that they say to "bring you down to their level" are just depressed rationalizations externalizing. This is why this sub is important, to identify information and act accordingly.
Maintaining frame is key, always. When they give you shit for changing up your habits then that is your opportunity to inform them in a positive way about growth. Cutting people out will leave you isolated and distanced, of course it's important to build new friendships but disconnecting some friends (unless they are toxic) is renouncing to what makes a man's success valuable. Advice is most valuable coming from someone who has overcome obstacles or succeeded greatly.
__
When it comes to the social aspects of work/study life, the best way is to direct your words to them in such a way that projects your indifference to them. Basic communication, no getting on their good side or whatever. Abundance is key, there are multitudes of people who value you, so if everyone likes this one guy and he doesn't like you; you are in a position to say fuck them. Obviously this doesn't mean become antisocial, but simply treat the guy like an inferior regardless of his superiority. -- Talk to them like you don't like them or care about them and are trying to gauge their brightness to see if they have any redeeming qualities.
Most of the time, you will find common ground and then some people are not so bad. If you really dislike someone because of their unnecessary bullshit tests, avoid them. The lack of interaction from someone will make them try to get you to like them, even if you eventually do, show indifference and reward them when they treat you nicely. In the end, it is the human mind, women gauge you to see how confident you are and men will too. Not too different, in fact, with men you can be dirtier and more offensive than with women.
kevinxv 7y ago
This is the type of shit that keeps me subscribed.
sickofallofyou 7y ago
I just tell my friends if they keep talking shit I'll take them upstairs and make a woman out of them.
SargentHaztagaspacho 7y ago
It was sort of like a punch in the gut when you realized the ones you could trust like family had this side to them. TBH, I was bummed out. Even might go as far to say it hurt.
Praecipuus 7y ago
Many times they'll do it only to reassure themselves they're still better than you.
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Yankee_Fever 7y ago
Well I guess your mom only fucks stupid dudes then
Rugby11 7y ago
Needed this this at the moment.
[deleted] 7y ago
Without examples I cant see what youre getting at exactly. Where I grew up, people got their kicks from making fun of other people and everyone got their turn.
egm03 7y ago
What do you do when this type of shit testing comes from your father?
Jackrabbit710 7y ago
My family started first, then boss at work, then friends. They all gave up in the end when the results started coming in
testmypatience 7y ago
Same thing you do with a boss but a bit more direct because your dad can't fire you. Respect but assertive when nessesary and ignore when it doesn't seem to matter. Backpeddling is NOT what you do. Stand ground with confidence or gain ground with assertiveness.
As an inventor from a young age and with an engineering father, I was always bieng told what I was doing wasn't going to work. I disagreed and just went about building things anyway. At one point was told to drive a certain way and I was older than 18. So I asked him if he wanted to drive and when he said yes I told him no that there was no way. Then said if you don't like it get out. So he got out and I drove away. Now he respects things when I say things and tends to not attack anything I say or do because he knows I don't stand for that shit. I'll be kind until you fuck with me then you get a kind warning and then a calm but assertive action.
It all really depends on the situation. You don't want to overreact and you don't want to be a pushover. Just know what battles matter and which ones are just verbal whining.
Frisky-Fox 7y ago
A couple of other interesting "shit" test men do is try and sleep with a girl as soon as possible. Often if they succeed too soon in the relationship (first night for instance) they typically loose interest in the relationship. Possibly as a test for coyness, and sexual reservation to prevent cuckolding.
Another test is that after seeing a woman for a while, a man will sometimes push a woman off onto other men, and then get disinterested in them if they take the offer. Another probable test for coyness.
Again, subconscious, but good to know for any RedPill ladies out there.
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redpillthrowaway34 7y ago
I agree with your post, except for one point:
I would argue that they like you more when you learn how to hold frame. They will certainly respect you more, anyway. We like leaders.
We don't really like the people we can walk all over. We find them useful, and we make them our bitches, but we don't really like them.
Also, I wouldn't necessarily cut them out of your life. Depending on the severity of the transgression, you can keep them as your friends. As long as you pass their shit tests, you have nothing to fear. In fact, I appreciate a little challenge from my fellow men.
Cutting them out of your life is not necessary unless they are naturally toxic people.
DadOnDabs 7y ago
I'll write a full field report at some point but I literally turned some dude who thought he was the shit making big money and talked down to me constantly into a little bitch. He would throw little tests my way to see if he could get me competing with him and I ignored them or flipped them. Threw subtle comments out the whole time to eat away at him. Usually the most talkative guy in the room and he stfu real quick.
Yankee_Fever 7y ago
Subtle comments are the best way to communicate to onlookers that dude is a bitch.
Women are very perceptive to things like that
BluePillTurningRed 7y ago
This has all been happening to me till I decided to stop ignoring it once it came from a closer friend.
Story: I hang out with him and another friend (all the same age), and they meet up 3 other people we know that were from a grade younger than us. They all talk on a groupchat on whats app and as soon as I got there, the 3 younger guys knew about personal things I thought my close friend wouldn't disclose.
Luckily i was pretty tipsy at the time so I handled it pretty well when they were poking at me with the L's I've been taking in life. I didn't sweat it and they ended up being pissed cause they couldn't phase me and ended up switching things around on them. Apparently one of them was pissed cause I asked about his "girlfriend" who he is with for 4 months and never had sex with then proceeded to pat him on the back and be like "You'll get it some day man, dw" in-front of all of them lol.
Overall, this isnt the first time when it came to hanging out in a group. It's some petty feminine type shit but I honestly thought the close friend I had moved on from shit like that. Clearly they didn't.
At the end of the day, there are no such things as friends (At least when it comes to disclosing your L's in life). The idea is to NEVER DO IT (only exception is your close family). Internalise that shit and project it into movement, don't broadcast shit. I'm already deep in some forever pre-conceived circle jerk roasting because I did the opposite.
My past reputation will come to haunt me with the silly things I did. I don't forget it, I own up to it, accept and embrace the fact that I still have the ability to change (which most people, EVEN your close friends and family will come to hate).It's much easier and comforting for them and their egos to see you being the same you, you were x amount of years ago.
Hopefully there can be a future topic made about changing your reputation around peers efficiently.
electricspresident 7y ago
Would really love a future post on this. Personally I feel it takes a strong combination of absolute frame/confidence with an even greater machiaveillian skill to pull it off but from some other places I've read the one thing you must have to negate the past, make the transition and solidify the new persona/reputation of yours is, power.
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ReddJive 7y ago
I was a company commander in the army.
Had a lieutenant come in. Been in the army all of about 5 minutes. After a few days I was beginning to suspect he was having problems with his sergeants.
Talked to my first sergeant. Sure nuff. They weren't respecting him.
I pulled him into my office. I told him these guys are killers. They've seen the elephant. They will test you. They will poke you in the chest. Every time.
Poke back. They'll respect you if you do.
Next day he did. Gave as good as got. Kid turned out to be pretty damn good LT.
Male. Female.
Don't put up with shit.
The_M0rning_Star 7y ago
Yes! In a dominance based society, your worth is always being tested from all sides. After all, if you are alpha, other men as well as women must submit to you, yes? When a beta tests an alpha, he's seeing if you're in a position that will allow him to beat you and become the alpha.
That being said, I don't understand the fear of shit tests, I fucking love them. All that rage that builds up inside you from having to live in polite society? When someone tests you, it's basically permission to unleash that. You get to say all those clever things that you cant say without being considered rude. Like a free pass. To many shit tests however, means you should cut that person out of your life the human version of "killing your adversary".
Aaren_Augustine 7y ago
One guy at work shit tested me hard. He looked like Ken from Barbie. Come to find out he was trying to vet me for his wife. Dude likes to watch as guys fuck the shit out of his wife. He told me to stop doing so many squats and deadlifts because it will make my ass look fat.
I laughed.
[deleted] 7y ago
Actually I've been approached by several swinger couples when I'm out with a girl.
They are pretty fucking sneaky.
A couple times I didn't realize it until her and I talked about it the next day then it was like....Oh. wow.
obama_loves_nsa 7y ago
Similar situation. I caved and joined. Then she brought out a dildo and asked if she could touch me with it. I just quickly finished and left.
Never again guys. No more degeneracy for me.
Docbear64 7y ago
Scared Straight : Swinger edition lol
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Ontop1 7y ago
I notice this when men comment on the way I dress. I'll get looks all day long from lady's and sideways comments from the guys. I love it.
RedditAdminsSuck_88 7y ago
In agreement here.
All my friends who got married in their early to mid twenties... are miserable. You can just tell. I can see the envy from their eyes when they see me, a successful single man not chained to a woman, lifting and in shape, low body fat %, living by myself in my own apartment, free to do whatever the fuck I want, when I want.
They give me a hard time for it. It's because they wish they were in my position, not because they actually think my lifestyle is wrong.
testmypatience 7y ago
That's not a shit test. That is people disagreeing with you and asserting their perspective as they don't agree that what you are currently doing actually provides happiness and think you are making a big mistake.
[deleted] 7y ago
Of course they give me a hard time for it too.
But then again my friends would give me a hard time for literally anything. And I do them too.
Because guys like bullshitting and fucking with each other.
Male shit tests are called being friends.
excal10 7y ago
When you have control and other people don't, they have a problem with your control and autonomy.
bteh 7y ago
I bet they try to talk you into how cool relationships are, maybe try to set you up with, "one of their cute friends", who is actually some mediocre girl who the wife works with whose biological clock is ticking down.
They know they're miserable but want someone to share in their misery.
Such is life.
RedditAdminsSuck_88 7y ago
Hahaha so true. If I had a dime for every post wall woman who has been introduced to me in a clear non-subtle attempt to try and get me to be interested in her....
The thing is, I am not an ugly dude. I view it as an insult when they do this to me. If I really wanted to be in a relationship, I could easily be in one, and with a woman in her peak, not past the wall.
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[deleted] 7y ago
They're divorcing insanely fast which is why you don't see them
thewrightstuff88 7y ago
Part of it is culture too. I'm Indian so a good number of couples get married by 25-26, especially if they are out of med school but just before residency because they are going to be busy as hell during that phase and most likely won't have time. Either that or parents, who themselves were married at a young age so it "feels" wrong for their kids not to do the same so the pressure increases.
SeemedGood 7y ago
These days you need to if you want to find a woman whose n-count isn't above 10 (or maybe even 20). If you're not marrying young then you're marrying a woman who will never be able to pair bond effectively unless she's Mormon, Baha'i, etc..
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asotranq 7y ago
Equality doesn't factor in things like basic biology
[deleted] 7y ago
I have a friend who is extremely succesful has a child and a wife. He has said having a family and a career is sacrificing your me time. So it's not that it necessarily means they are bitter but even if they are achieving their shit the one thing they can't have is time alone in an apartment. But yeah it's not like this friend of mine does petty things like that, but anyway he has achieved and broken far beyond what was expected of him and despite being wealthy is a good down to earth guy.
SeemedGood 7y ago
WTF? As if being wealthy would make you otherwise.
[deleted] 7y ago
Yeah it's a common phenomena especially so when it's self made wealth. Why are you acting if it's somehow strange?
SeemedGood 7y ago
This is just garbage. People are people, rich or poor. Wealthy guys are no more or less likely to be "down-to-earth" or "good guys" than any other type of guy.
The idea that those with wealth are somehow "less" down-to-earth, or not as frequently "good guys" is simply demagogued class based collectivism, and thus demonstrative of limited skills of either observation or logical construction.
[deleted] 7y ago
If you think being rich makes you an asshole you still need time on this sub. Frankly, it's another lie spoonfed to people since birth. That being poor or low value makes you morally superior and virtuous.
[deleted] 7y ago
I never said that... You are reflecting your own assumptions and meanings into what I wrote. I wrote it's common for people to change when they come into a lot of wealth. You made it to "Everyone that comes rich changes" in your head and now you are posting here some sorry ass "so blue pill" comments worth nothing.
Also I've said nothing about how being poor is. Again you reflecting your own meanings onto my writings.
RedDeadCred 7y ago
Indeed, it's often the opposite where wealthy people work harder, sacrifice more, and contribute more than poor people.
[deleted] 7y ago
It's a common thing that once someone gets rich they change. It's not an idea it's just something that happens regardless of what you think. Though it seems you've completely missed the point.
hellothrowawayayay 7y ago
Very common perspective from people who've never experienced success, to make themselves feel better about their lack of success. Exactly the crab bucket mentality this thread speaks of.
[deleted] 7y ago
Lol I just told your sorry ass about a wildly succesful friend of mine that hasn't changed. None of what you said applies to me.
What a useless comment. Which is probably why you are using a throwaway.
hellothrowawayayay 7y ago
What??? Not talking about your wildly "succesful" friend, talking about your lack of success, and how you and many like you internalize it with bitterness when you see others obtain something you desire but lack. I'd suggest you read up on Nietzsche's ideas about envy.
And nice, resorting to ad hominem. This is my main and only account, thanks.
[deleted] 7y ago
You know nothing about me and here you are screaming about my "lack" of success. I have no bitterness towards my friends achieving I'm happy for them. Trying so hard to make me something I'm not, lol you are desperate dude. You are one of those guys that can't take the lesson but have to hang on to some minor detail that doesn't even exist and have to argue it.
And yeah my "wildly" succesful friend is wildly succesful, he was making a great salary but now he is making top 100 salary in the country.
[deleted] 7y ago
That is by definition a blue pill mentality
[deleted] 7y ago
It's blue pill to recognize something that happens? Ok buddy, you keep posting your zero worth comments.
[deleted] 7y ago
Its the same loser mentality of "the jock that gets the girl MUST be an asshole".
Jealous much?
[deleted] 7y ago
I'm not lol. Trying to make me negative so hard. I'm happy for him. I'm not envious of achievement of my friends, especialy not money. Money didn't solve my problems.
[deleted] 7y ago
Why cut them out of your life if they aren't maliciously trying to hurt you? lol
Just keep frame and don't apologise for shit. Haters will hate. Who cares. Let them.
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crx1 7y ago
Extremely important topic and deserves to be covered in more detail here on TRP. Our male-to-male interactions are a critical part of our lives and can leave us guessing, sometimes as much as our interactions with women.
CommanderT 7y ago
I've discovered this to be true. Once I started to work on myself, I found my "friends" constantly disrespecting me and trying to poke holes in the new direction I was going. These were guys I grew up with and considered to be like brothers. It was a hard decision to cut them out, but the right one.
cashan0va_007 7y ago
Knew these dudes since diapers
oh well, I guess shit has changed
Fabolous the soul tape vol 2
Toker95 7y ago
Same here my friend, never looked back
Philletto 7y ago
I left a bad job situation and found the people I worked with despised me for getting a better job. Learnt from that to never bother with chitchat to grease the wheels of job place interaction.
wataDs 7y ago
I have a friend whom I wouldn't say "pokes holes" per se, more is in competition as I've excelled and surpassed him. His competition and demeanor was actually one of the driving forces behind me lifting dedicated for 2 years once upon a time.
At what point, for you, did their shit tests become a cut-them-out-of-your-life offense?
[deleted] 7y ago
The look on their face when you're flirting with hot chicks in front of them. Hot chicks neither one of you could have even said hi to 6 months ago. That look of pure jealousy... I can't think of a stronger indication of self development and progress.
noobonyoutube_ 7y ago
On another note, I'm in football right now and a lot of the naturally fit guys are spending a lot of energy making fun of me and putting me down because I'm working hard and getting on their level. Those who are your equals will try to bring you back down, and those above you will try to keep you down. Just find other Red Pilled men and stay strong
[deleted] 7y ago
Only those who are threatened by you will try and bring you down. Those that have had to work for their success aren't threatened. Why? Because if they're truly successful they've had to embrace the grind. Embracing the grind is where true men find purpose and there is no reason to turn another man away from his purpose. It's the ones who were naturally gifted, they're threatened because they fear losing somthing they have no idea how to acquire on their own.
TryDoingSomethingNew 7y ago
I totally agree.
Honestly successful men are not inclined to act like bitches to other men who just want to make their way in life.
The successful guys I follow on Twitter, podcasts, etc., are very down to earth and really understand what it's like.
noobonyoutube_ 7y ago
Exactly, that's what I was trying to say, but you said it better. Right now it's off season and it's all the juniors moving up for next season, and the juniors/sophomores who've been on varsity since day 1, and you can guess who's coming to respect me and who's trying to put me down
JFMX1996 7y ago
Man, the fuckin' football players. I remember those cucks. When they hang out in packs they'll act real alpha, but alone, they're as beta as it gets.
Now there's always that really chill football player that's sort of the outlier, often times there'll be a few of them on the team...you know, the more modest ones that are more laid back and cool to talk to. Those are the cool ones.
Remember when I started getting really in shape, I was getting teased by all of them. Eventually football season ended, and many of them went to wrestling. I'd gone in with only experience in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and started handing their asses to them. Not only that but in practices I would be leading them.
The trick is to use that annoyance you have of them as motivation in the gym, pushes you to be way better than any of them. When you're squatting a new weight, picture the other guy getting 5 reps with it, instantly you'll feel the heated rage to get 6 reps.
Working up, you'll eventually pass them all up and be more in shape than all of them. It's a story I see repeating not just with me but all across now. I graduated high school in 2015 but love to see the phenomenon of the unpopular kid getting in shape and leaving the naturally athletic kids in the dust, completely humbled.
Keep it up man, only use it as fuel and you'll do great.
noobonyoutube_ 7y ago
Oh I do, I don't expect I'll pass them up by the time the season starts, but I do think I'll be playing in the games against shitty teams. I made excuses for 3 seasons but this is varsity football, I want this real bad. I've got plenty of fuel, all that's left is to burn it before summer training camp
CoupDeGrace22 7y ago
You must remember that in essence,you are CLIMBING. As you climb,you either leave people behind or remain at their level. That's the nature of it.
Now if you are deadset that you MUST keep these people in your life,then wear your mask more often and brush up your machiavelli gifts.
[deleted] 7y ago
Yep. I made a decision after high school (shit school in a poor state) to go away to college, work hard, get a good job, etc. You have to downplay everything whenever you hang out with those people 'left behind' and you will hear excuses or backhanded comments all the time. Just have to laugh it off or cut friends if they are toxic
When you are in a position of 'power' ie higher than they are you can't 'punch down' without looking like a shithead
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Scandinavianredpill 7y ago
I dont agree with this, you should not ever tell yourself you are somehow better than your peers because of choices you make or improvements to yourself. keep respecting your peers, eventually they will respect that you have infact grown. the dynamic of your relationship will change and of course it might ruin it if you can no longer be exploited, but most friendsships can endure it.
Philletto 7y ago
The thing is they aren't actually peers if you make choices and improvements they don't aspire to or make themselves. I have no peers but there are people I greatly admire and respect and many who respect me. Peers only exist if you want to be defined by other people.
Scandinavianredpill 7y ago
Obviously Dgaf about People that want to keep you in a certain role regardless of your personal change. however most often it's decent people that just behave like human animals. they test you a bit before they accept the new you. If you want to be a natural and considered leader of any sorts id recommend you respect the people you lead. thats what works for me atleast.
takkun22 7y ago
it could be that you were simply changing in a negative way
no one ever thinks it's their own fault
knightmeirl 7y ago
Yup. It's hard to not take offense to criticism. Look at their objections objectively as you can, but don't sacrifice your conviction.
[deleted] 7y ago
If you start eating clean and start lifting you will get this all. the. time. Especially when out with friends or at the office and the garbage food comes out. Try to start your own business and you will instantly see the true friends (that's awesome, let me know if I can help) and Beta tools (that's impossible, will never work)
You will also have other 'leaders' of their group being hostile to you in subtle ways (we are adults after all).
buibeans 7y ago
Be the better person. You don't have to cut those people out of your life, just forgive them for being who they are. And understand why they aren't the way they should be. Be genuinely nice and don't waste time with worthless people.
[deleted] 7y ago
I find generally that women are pleased when I pass their shit test. They have the same look that you do when staring at a woman's nice ass.
Men aren't so pleased when I crush their little fitness test. They swallow hard, stare at the floor and their posture melts as they take their assigned (lower) place in the pecking order.
Sometimes, not often, I'll pass a dudes shit test and he laughs with me. This type of guy is worth befriending
aanarchist 7y ago
idk about anyone else but i'm still soft inside, i'm human after all with a heart. the difference is deciding to only let close the people who won't twist the knife when it really matters. if someone you knew in the past tries to tear you down after seeing you become a better version of yourself, it's because they're garbage.
LymanRP 7y ago
Great post. I'll also add that you should see it as a positive sign that people begin to shit test you... it means you're improving and the gains have become noticeable.
Couldn't agree more. Self-improvement helps to identify those friends you want to keep around vs. those that are not positive influences. The friends you'll want to keep around are those that are supportive of your improvement, or want to follow in your example. E.g. the friend that also starts a gym routine or wants to lift with you, or who also works out and swaps advice with you.
These negative influences are the 'crabs in the barrel' that Rollo speaks of in The Rational Male that will try to pull you back down.
vagbutters 7y ago
I still get this from some acquaintances, though nothing was as bad as when I first lost weight in college. I lost over 100 pounds over the course of 1.5 years, I think, and during the entirety of that time I had "friends" and family members putting me down, but in a subtle way. They wouldn't outright say "stop going to the gym, omg you're eating healthy!" Instead they'd attack me about other shit that I was genuinely trying hard at, e.g. balancing school while trying to diet+ work out, trying to study for my MCATs at the time, etc.
David_029_Tredecies 7y ago
...Or, in the Philippine bad influence or bad stereotype, it's called "Crab Mentality."
[deleted] 7y ago
So true. If you ditch hoes who try to bring you down and don't get the message that no, it won't be tolerated, but you keep bros doing the EXACT SAME THING, what are you exactly?
[deleted] 7y ago
In my experience male friends who bring me down have a much larger negative impact on my life. This is because I share more about myself , my dreams, aspirations etc. To have a person you share these things with try and sabotage you is much worse than some girl you don't share your deeper thoughts with.
1v1mebruh 7y ago
red_reality giving some red reality
vagbutters 7y ago
Men shouldn't expect true loyalty from women, only from other men. This is why it hurts so much more when people you called your friends betray you.
[deleted] 7y ago
Yup, they are much more dangerous.
[deleted] 7y ago
deleted ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.7112 ^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?
Hakametal 7y ago
Can confoirm 100%. I work in a bar with lots of conserative, old school men coming in. I'm a bit of a pretty boy and I've never been shit-tested on this level in my life... even compared to women.
I might write a post about this... but I encourage every young man to work in a bar for at least a year. you will build serious Frame, understand people a lot more, and see real old school masculinity.
[deleted] 7y ago
Different generations for sure. If you have the well done hair and nice style you will get shit on by a lot of (usually lower value) people. Some are in good fun, some are just pint up jealousy. Learning to roll with it is for the best
[deleted] 7y ago
yes I would read your post. I wanted to work in a bar but I believe I would have to work my way up... so it would be interesting to hear your story.
grachuss 7y ago
Not just "A Bar," but multiple nightspots.
HotTeen69 7y ago
What kinda shit would they say?
MuhTriggersGuise 7y ago
Alright, close up the thread guys. We have pretty boy confoirmation
Hakametal 7y ago
Funnily enough, this is exactly the shit I get haha
HeSpeakz 7y ago
Is there a height requirement to work as a bartender?
Mostass 7y ago
As long as customers can see you from behind the bar you're fine.
This1sMyWorkAccount 7y ago
I just experienced this today. I received a Fitbit Blaze for my birthday. So naturally I make an effort to take steps each hour to reach my goal of 12,000 steps in a day. It keeps me focused at work and healthy at the same time.
My co-workers are reminded how they are not lifting or exercising. The spare tire they keep inflating around their waist gets bigger every day as they wallow in doubt and anger.
rayyaal 7y ago
Friend:"Lmao dude was that a neg??" [In-front of the chick I was approaching? Really?] Me: "..."
Friend:"Haha he's on the 'eat nothing' diet" [Grilled chicken and beans are nothing? Nah gummie bears are better right] Me:"Stay fat, man"
Friend:"Haha dude at least I know my girl isn't a slut" [You've had the same fat pussy once a week for 3 years and you're 24] Me:"Keep up the good work"
Same guy tends to shy away when women or other dudes compliment me on how I look etc. The Jello-Bros are easy to spot once you're on the other side. The dude gave up after a few years of being around me post-change. It's just that during the transition he was very jealous.
The Tru-Bros are the ones who pat you on the back and say - out loud - "Man you're looking great - wish I could do that" or "keep it up homie you got this" and reach out for help when they feel they need it.
FleetingFox 7y ago
Sure, but we (people) also give each other shit because we think we can take it. It's called playful banter. Grow a fucking spine.
[deleted] 7y ago
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[deleted] 7y ago
This. When I got fat in college my bros were the close to tell me about it (in joking fashion). Helped me get back in shape. Good friends tell hard truths
[deleted] 7y ago
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CollaterLDamage 7y ago
this is jealousy? this is how i usually play with my friends. they shit on you, you shit on them and then yous laugh cuz your confident in who you are. i dont know your personal life, or the context but i wouldnt say it was jealousy (except that last 1).
the playfull bullshitting makes your game stronger. the important thing is calling it out when it bothers you and not being a passive aggressive beta. its universally known, confidence is key in all aspects of life. if your friends need to give you constant affirmation, well, i got bad news for you buddy.
now dont get me wrong, friends should compliment eachother, but teasing is a part of a good freindship. its a good mood gauge as well.
[deleted] 7y ago
I don't know why you got downvoted. There's also a difference between teasing and dropping funny one liners (and answering back something funny), and teasing the exact same shit every time you meet with friends
Keep the former, drop the latter. Shit gets old quick, find creative stuff
joedevice 7y ago
Exactly this. In general, the more I like someone the more I say horrible shit to them. If I don't like you, I'll be nice as fuck.
Cesare_MA 7y ago
You shit on your friends for eating healthy?
[deleted] 7y ago
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RmX93 7y ago
Then you'll stay alone with your big ego. Good luck bro
[deleted] 7y ago
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Astutekahoots 7y ago
"Find Jesus" .... well that's gonna be a pretty hard, considering Jesus NEVER existed in real life.
Move on man, and get out of that primitive way of thought. Religion is all about mental slavery, and it's used by the people in power to keep the people at the bottom, AT the bottom.
I still can't believe people haven't realized this yet.
Once TPTB knew that people stopped caring about showing an allegiance to/fighting for a king .... they invented religion and told people that, if they didn't do what "god" commanded ( and only they knew what that was) they would "burn for eternity") .... thus using fear to once again control people.
Well, weak minded people that is .... because only those weak in mind and spirit need such kickstands in their life's.
People who couldn't , without a "savior" deal with life and all it's trials and tribulations. They needed someone to blame in the bad times, and someone to celebrate in the good times.
Just like how the Aztecs and mayans would make sacrifices to the gods , in hopes of good fortune and rain.
It's just primitive, superstition. Steeped in fiction and served with a side of bullshit.
CollaterLDamage 7y ago
lets use an example from here
Friend:"Haha he's on the 'eat nothing' diet". if i laugh and say "and youre on the eat everything diet" it shows im okay.
if i instead say, "fuck off ,dumbass" it shows im not in the mood for that shit. its that simple.
[deleted] 7y ago
Yeah dude so many people on this sub are socially awkward and take everything to heart I swear.
Cutting off your 'friends' over the petty reasons people are giving on here is just sad hahaha
True friends rip on each other for everything. We don't talk about feelings and ego boost each other like a bunch of chicks.
BrackOBoyO 7y ago
'Tru-bros tell you that you are looking good'.
#notmybro
Cartz1209 7y ago
I guess we found the scumbags! :D
If a friend of yours gets rejected by a girl you should never embarace him (in front of the girl). No way! If you do, you are giving the bitch positive reinforcement of her choice to shoot your friend down. You are acknowledging that indeed your friend value isn't good.
Your friend already got rejected, so he won't be scoring that girl anyway, but by giving her the thumbs up you are actually making it more difficult for the next dude. You should do the opposite and instead of put down your friend, put down the girl - "Man, did this bitch just considered herself too good for you? Whaaat? Is she crazy? Why are you even wasting your time with 6s? Come, there are two hot babes right over there!"
Later on give him shit if you want, but for fucks sake, I repeat, don't do it in front of the girl. What do you gain? Nothing!
It's funny how it's never the players who have this type of behaviour. They are too busy scoring. No it's always the dudes that can't score and are constantly with their hands on the dick, that feel the need to put you down and make such a big deal when you tried but didn't score.
If on the other hand you approach a girl and start getting along fine with her, these are also the dudes that will mass approach her, like a group of hyenas after the lion has put the prey down.
So don't be this type of guy and don't justify it by saying "friends give shit to each others"!
cashmoney_x 7y ago
You might want to look up what a "neg" is.
Cartz1209 7y ago
I assumed it could also be used in the context of 'being rejected'. Will edit for better understanding.
Crotons 7y ago
A couple years after graduating, I moved into an apartment with two friends from high school. These same friends knew me to be a soft and meek dude. I never knew I would experience such an onslaught of tests when they noticed me changing in front of them.
It started with small things like "Why are you acting like that?" and "Are you depressed?". While these weren't necessarily that bad, I had a hard time diffusing them because I was just starting to learn about shit tests.
As my frame became stronger, the tests became more severe. They changed into "Everyone from high school still thinks your the same awkward kid you always were." and "Are you really so insecure that you need to pretend to be a man?". Those two managed to crack my frame.
However, those two tests were such a good catalyst in the progression of my frame that I demolished every test they threw at me after that. Since they were clued into what was going on by my frame breaking too many times they knew that I was trying to change into something that they didn't like.
Cue: the nuclear option - complete silence. I guess I broke my friend or was teaching me a lesson. I don't know. He spent 4 months of regular contact with me without saying a word. That was the most peaceful 4 months of my life.
mcavvacm 7y ago
Said it before but "friends" who do this aren't actually friends.
My friends encouraged changing, working out and eating better when I started.
Family was resistant at first though but not anymore.
GeorgeWallace1968 7y ago
Punch the guy. In the dick.
[deleted] 7y ago
just cause you like touching dicks doesn't mean we all do mate
markpf73 7y ago
Diet, exercise, and wardrobe is where this happens first - make them cry in self loathing and move forward with your plan for personal greatness.
Later it will happen when you are making all of the right choices around your career and advancing within or starting something new.
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testmypatience 7y ago
Please give some examples of male shit tests. Trying to figure out what you mean.
I'll respond to what I think you may be talking about, but please go ahead and answer if you have some examples.
I think what some people think are shit tests are just people pushing their luck to see how much ground they have or can have. This happens in business, this happens in stores, and practically any situation that is possible.
How you react to a situation seems very universal.
What you do as a reaction matters.
You can backpedal your position.
You can act aggressive.
You can be assertive.
You can be a pushover in your position.
You can do many more actions that are the "what".
Those are actions however and doesn't tell enough story. That means not having the why.
You actually realized you messed up
You feel threatened of the consequences
Trying to gain ground
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weballinHard 7y ago
Wouldn't it make more sense to nor cut them off and deal with them ?
blackedoutfast 7y ago
haters are good. if you've got haters, you know you're doing something right.
OP is correct about jealous males trying to use shit-tests, but in my experience there is a slightly different cause for getting shit-test type stuff from other men. getting shit-tests from guys you've left behind but it's far more common to see it coming from bluepill guys trying to whiteknight you. guys who might have just met you and aren't basing it on seeing your improvement.
a lot of bluepill guys will try to jab at you not just to test your resolve or to bring you down, they are trying to play the white knight and make themselves look better. but the bluepill point of view is so fucked up and distorted that it comes out as a shit-test. or just a straight up redpill compliment.
so for example you may have a bluepill male-feminist type guy orbiting a girl you are talking to. this orbiter wants to fuck this girl and wants to cockblock you. he realizes that you are masculine alpha fucker, but the bluepill has distorted his understanding of reality so much that he sees this as a weakness. so he will say something really gay like "did you even see that trump video? so disgusting, i respect women" and then smirk thinking he has scored points with m'lady (whose gash is now completely dry).
again the best response is to agree and amplify. you could make a pussy grabbing joke or whatever. but just be aware that you can and will get shit-tested by guys who you may have just met, not just old friends from your pre-RP days
anotherent 7y ago
AMOGS / TROLLZ = everywhere. Stay woke.
testmypatience 7y ago
Stop saying woke. It is one of the dumbest things you could say.
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Darth_Antonius 7y ago
So would passing these be the same as passing a woman's shit tests,or should these be handled differently?
sonicboomslang 7y ago
These commenters got some fucked up friends.
looc22 7y ago
If I like the person I usually invite them to the gym with me or something, offer to bring other people up with you. If they say no or make excuses you might as well forget it though.
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Canadaismyhat 7y ago
What is this- shitty advertising? Are you serious, sub?
maniclurker 7y ago
Take it as an opportunity to resolve to yourself not to behave like them. Learn to be a true friend to the people you value in your life.
Blacklabellogics 7y ago
One of the more insidious shit-tests in the areas of diet, lifting and work is the "You have made so much progress, be careful so you don't burn out" variant. Very common from family/close friends.
StoicBeard 7y ago
Holy fuck the timing.
So i'm lifting in this 'fitness' gym where I have free access there because im doing them some work. Two years ago I was just a fuckarounditis guy and lifted weak ass weights and I weighted 152 pounds.
There was this high smv guy abs good looks nice car. He befriended me because I was soft and I could do him some video work for his portfolio and he used to tell me some of his females client that 'liked' me. (hb6 at most)
Now that I have way more work and I'm lifting 3 plate squats and 4 plate deadlift while i weight 185pounds his shit tests are all over the place.
Should I cut him off?
[deleted] 7y ago
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darkmoon09 7y ago
This means that they were never your "friends" to begin with. A true friend doesn't react to your improvement like that, a true friend says "Wow man, you've really made some huge changes recently and you seem to be doing great, that's awesome bro, I'm happy for you."
True friends are hard to come by.
throw17453 7y ago
This is an overreaction in my view. Unless they are constantly trying to bring you down, and are providing no value in your life, then cutting them off isnt needed.
If they are poking holes or trying to undermine, laugh it off, reflect it back to them, look them in the eye and tell them to fuck off, completely ignore them, whatever.
Also an initial reaction may be as you described, but if you ignore or shrug off whatever emotional or negative bullshit they are trying to throw your way, and just keep doing you. Eventually you may serve as an example to them to improve or change themselves.
deepthrill 7y ago
That's fine, we may respectfully agree to disagree on this point. I view my time as so extremely valuable (narcissistic, selfish, self-absorbed, asshole, superiority complex, blah blah blah modern psychiatry terms, etc.), but honestly I have a very very high threshold of who I spend time interacting with.
That threshold is up to each man individually, and I fully respect your opinion and stoic ability to be able to just laugh off those who sometimes undermine you.
Just different tolerance thresholds I suppose.
To each their own, and thanks for bringing up a different opinion and backing it up with examples of how you'd handle the situation instead of just blindly attacking my opinion.
It's good the community gets to see two sides of a situation and rationally dissect it for their own benefit.
BluePillTurningRed 7y ago
I was told that if you ever had to cut off friends, you had to be diplomatic about it because they can feel hurt or anger (usually will, esp if done blatantly) and could sabotage you if there is any dirt they have on you. You don't HAVE to but it would probably be the best route to take if they were good to you in the past.
throw17453 7y ago
You're right with this I think. Alot of it is down to the situation, relationship with the person, and how you react to it.
There's little that phases me, and it's usually easier just to set a boundry than cut someone out. Usually cut outs are reserved for people who cross a line, or bring no value. However, as you say, where that line is drawn is up to the individual.
Also as an aside for you to put this in dismissive terms
Means they apply strongly, which would explain your stance.
Barvazon 7y ago
And why would I keep people such as these in my life?
redolas 7y ago
I study them, learn from them, get invited to parties by them. They try to screw with my head, I try to use it for my benefit. Keep them at arm's length though. They've lost my trust.
cantFindValidNam 7y ago
Life is a competition and generally speaking people don't like it when you're ahead of them. This is for me one of the most important RP lessons. They'll try to break you or take advantage of you and this is one reason why a strong frame is critical and why it's a bad idea to seek validation in others.
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
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