This is such a stupid, but fundamental point to make.
A quick stroll down memory lane... I remember drifting around in my 20's with a calendar on my wall, usually some type of forest critters staring at me with their glassy eyes, that was always 2, 3, maybe 4 months behind, with nothing ever written on it. I'd only flip it when I felt embarrassed that it was so far behind, and it was personal embarrassment because nobody was ever in my room to see it (red flag #1). I had no plans in my life. I wasn't a virgin, but the few women I did fuck always drifted into my life like dead pieces of wood. I was in mechanical mode, work, sleep, go to the bar on Friday and hope chicks will dig me, wake up feeling like shit on Saturday regretting how much money I wasted, do mostly nothing Sunday, repeat. All the time in between was filled with really, really low-tier shit that did not challenge me. In fact it was the opposite, it was repetition of forgettable, time-wasting leisure activities. Is it any wonder the women I fucked were average, dead pieces of wood?
This is what stagnation looks like. Even if your bills are paid and you aren't the lowest turd on the corporate ladder, you're still a schmuck like the other 99% because this is exactly how they live. And that gap is only widening with people shoving their entire attention into time-sinks like reddit. You could be doing everything to ensure your survival, but you're still a loser, and women can smell it. It's true, you're a loser by virtue that you're not winning, because you're not challenging yourself, and the tragedy is that you don't even know how. Sure you started reading pickup and getting "redpilled" but you don't even have any life experience to bring to the table. You are a drain on others, a leech looking for a hero to suck on instead of being one.
It's not enough to say "I'm going to make a change", "I'm going to become more attractive", "I'm going to hold my head high at the office on Monday". This is a placebo, this is your mind fucking with you only to stab you in the back later. Fat fuckers and landwhales do this all the time. You're rewarding yourself before you've even developed a plan, because who needs a plan? You've "survived" this long without one, right? The way of thinking that made you a loser before is going to make you a loser again.
So here is a piece of ancient technology I'm going to offer you which can change your whole life. It's called a "calendar".
Successful people have a full calendar - and they STICK TO IT. Their arrangements and plans always come first. If something new comes up, you have to weigh the importance, and re-schedule your original activity. Every single day, you need to be doing something new. Don't fly by the seat of your pants or try to "memorize it", write it the fuck down and do it. When your calendar is full of shit that is new, new experiences, new things to accomplish, to learn, you are creating a pathway to become successful (which is the bedrock of attraction). This is not black arts, all successful people do this, and the extremely successful have assistants to fill their calendar. Do 1 new thing every single day no matter how small it is. Add in travel when time allows. For the new habits and activities you build, continue to do those things while still committing the 1 new thing you wrote down for each day of the week. All the game and "shit tests" you can memorize on this sub mean fucking nothing if you're the guy in his 20's (or god forbid 30's and up) who is still drifting in his own loser-mill, frozen in time & space yet still aging, because he didn't manage his time.
CaptainBW 5y ago
Oof...this one stings. Thank you OP I needed that read.
theredcandy 5y ago
Spot on.
The best time to start is right now.
Keeping all of these things in mind is retarded. Write them down and free up your brain. It’s an easy way to build habits.
Jordan Peterson has a great video on using a calendar and not letting your schedule tyrannise you.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
I haven't heard his talk but I am familiar with some of his other material. I've started his 12 Rules which I'm sure is very useful advice. People spend too much time trying to figure out how to get motivated, when all they need to do is write down something small, do it at a specific time, and repeat that format. It helps people find out the things that they like in life and then devote more of their time into learning that instead of idle nonsense like videogames, message boards, and whatever people do "when they're bored". The concept of being bored means there is a serious organizational problem. Listen to an audiobook hiking a new path, read a book in the airport on your next destination. It all compounds and enriches you.
dutch411 5y ago
Keeping all of these things in mind is retarded. Write them down and free up your brain. It’s an easy way to build habits.
theredcandy 5y ago
Cheers. I probs won't read it soon, but I watched the video /u/1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v linked.
The "if you can do it in 2 minutes, do it right away" bit is helpful. Forgot about that one.
On the subject of productivity, Cal Newport's blog is great.
Personally, my approach is a bit more minimal. I'm adding little habits as I go along/as needed, seeing as trying to overhaul my entire system has always been overwhelming for me. This way, even if it's slow, I'm still doing a bit better than before. I'll reference Newport and Allen if/when there are problems along the way. Right now, it's working OK.
1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 5y ago
For the busy people who just want the highlights:
Getting Things Done (GTD) by David Allen - Animated Book Summary And Review https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCswMsONkwY
qitjch 5y ago
Thanks for the video, that was a great overview if the process.
blkMGTOW07 5y ago
I listen to that video as well as one on orocastination several times a day. It keeps me in check and makes me feel guilty for wasting time
theredcandy 5y ago
No need to watch it several times a day. Guilt can be useful, but don't let it be the only thing that gets you doing things. It's not sustainable, makes you feel bad and then you feel worse when you procrastinate again and then you feel guilty and the cycle perpetuates.
Picture a future you that's done the work you want to do today. He's one day closer to being the future-you of 6 months from now and so on. So that's a very clear reason/motivation to do what you want.
Doing something is a helluva lot better than doing nothing. It's ironic that I found this Confucius quote on Tumblr about ten years ago, but "it matters not how fast you go, so long as you do not stop".
Obviously, it'd be nicer if you could be more efficient, but increase your efficiency slowly. Accept that whatever you can do right now is all you can do. You can't go from doing jack shit all day to being workhorse. These things take time. And sometimes, life happens and you fall off the wagon, but beating yourself up over it is gonna make you un-fall off it. Just jump back on, do a little better next time,
In one year, a little will become a lot more than it initially was.
I can be very neurotic and anxious, and it's only recently that I've been able to get out of this funk. Every month is a little bit better than the last.
Confucius-Bot 5y ago
Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it.
^("Just a bot trying to brighten up someone's day with a laugh. | Message me if you have one you want to add.")
blkMGTOW07 5y ago
I repeat those videos so it can enter my subconscious mind. I catch myself thinking about being productive often because of it now. Repeatedly listening to something is the best way to tap into your subconscious and have it run in your essence on auto pilot
theredcandy 5y ago
Oh I see, makes sense.
I do that through writing. For e.g, my comments to other people's situations on TRP are an almost direct reflection of what's been on my mind lately. It's my way of interacting with what I'm learning and drawing connections between things.
I do re-watch videos or re-read articles/posts too.
blkMGTOW07 5y ago
I once heard that when a group of people start to have the same mindset (TRP for example) their collective thoughts start to align with eachother. That would explain why a lot of my questions are answered here before I get a chance to post then lol
theredcandy 5y ago
A big part of TRP is individuality, which makes this a very different place to say, a feminist message board. Group identity, right?
If you look at the Masters of whatever field, be it in pimping or cooking, you'll find that they just have different approaches and mindsets to what essentially boils down to the same thing. Which makes sense because their mastery of the subject is coloured by their own unique choices and experiences in life.
But that's a bit of a tangent. We're all thinking about roughly the same shit – how can I be a better person and how can I improve my sex/romantic life? We're all out there trying things, and likely using similar search terms.
Depending on personality and circumstances, we're testing out slightly different things in a slightly different order.
What doesn't work gets scrapped or lost somewhere, and what does work rises to the top. And of course, there's also something to be said about popular opinion not always being right, but that's just nitpicking at this point.
The sheer amount of people on this sub also increases the likelihood of you finding someone else you can relate to. For added context, this was already happening when the sub only had about 150 subscribers and a few dozen threads.
p_and_q 5y ago
I agree with the fundamental message but disagree with your choice of technology. Calendars are nice but they are event and date driven. If you miss an event or task: boom! task lost in the void of time. My suggestion, buy a smallish bulletin board, some pushpins, and a pack of flash cards. Divide your goals into smaller tasks and give each task a due by date. Divide the board into 3 sections: To Do, In Progress, and Completed. But if a calendar works for you, no need to reinvent the wheel.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
Once things get complex and you are planning around other immovable things, like trips or events, it will become a necessity.
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Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
That is the mindset of a lazy person. Why track my progress? I'm not saying this is you per se, but people who don't write things down and develop a concrete plan will often spin their wheels and fizzle out back into their comfort zones.
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Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
Tracking progress toward a goal, like, lose X pounds, is a learned habit. It takes people sitting down and getting serious. That's not what I mean by track progress, I mean set extremely small and achievable goals. The point is to get people to identify their pattern of "fear" and realize it is a self deception. If they want to get more obsessive about their calendars, more detailed and intricate, more power to them. But if you can't write down 1 new thing to do per day, for 5 days straight, you're in a serious mess and should probably get on meds. That's the alternative. I think you're over-analyzing what I'm telling people to do here, the goal of the exercise isn't just to manage their time better, but to overcome fear of new things. Filling your time with the same nonsense is how people stay in their comfortable zones and never progress. That is essentially every beta bux guy in the world.
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Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
Uh, no? At the same time, is it healthy to consistently not follow your plan when a plate calls? If you can never tell a plate "no" (or even yourself "no") then you clearly aren't spending your time on important things. There is more to life than jizzing on a whore's back who you have no plans to start a family with, but if you aren't making plans that matter or you don't value them, well that's your choice and you will have to live with it.
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Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
The answer is plan better. I want to masturbate right now, but my calendar says I have to do X. What do I do? Do you see why this question seems silly to me? You can actually jerk off later instead of cancelling what you had planned. If all you do is cancel your plans to do what you want, well what's the point? Do what you want and stop asking me questions, you clearly have it all figured out. Do what you want when you feel like doing it and fuck tomorrow, that's beta shit.
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Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
I'm not trying to be a dick to you, but your question is fundamentally personal. You're asking me what you should value. I'm saying you should value being a man, a man is more than his whims and desire to get laid. A man is also more than a set of talmudic rules. It is considered divine revelation that you should be able to do good work on the sabbath instead of rest, at a time when the punishment for work on the sabbath was death. This means that rules were made for men, not men made for rules. You ever met a woman who didn't want a goal driven, ambitious man? Do you think someone who follows their whims with no plan is going to have a higher chance of succeeding than someone who does? Does that mean women want someone who never makes time for them because all they do is follow their rules? Stop worrying about alpha and beta, no woman will ever call you beta for turning her down because you had plans. It's literally the exact opposite, have some respect for yourself.
SlySoothSayer 5y ago
This just red pilled me a second Time
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
Don't ever waste your time, and if you feel your attention slipping into idle nonsense, snap out of it in complete disgust and walk away. You die the moment you cycle back into the familiar, like burying your body in the ground. Fear and comfort are not opposites, they are 2 sides of the same coin. Comfort is the "good cop" in that relationship, he wants you to take the deal. Fear is rattling you, trying to scare you into submission. If you let fear have power over you, you will never be free to act. With comfort, you will never want to act. In that manner, comfort is far more dangerous. You will understand after you plan (with a calendar) to face your fear, and are triumphant.
Don't join the netflix and chill generation, they are the walking dead.
sadomasochrist 5y ago
Credit here because I most certainly am going to hijack this for future writing. It's just such a well crafted word and self contained description for what you've just written.
zaparans 5y ago
Women love keeping calendars.
Alpha_Jedi 5y ago
Discipline is the key. Cheers.
lightfire409 5y ago
Time is the only thing more valuable than money. You need to track both.
One very effective yet easy way to do this is to keep a private google calendar of all your activities. At first, don't schedule your time, just track what you do for a few weeks. Every 30 minutes just write the one thing you did most. After a few weeks, analyse your time and start to cut back on time wasting ones (which there will be an astounding amount). Start preemptively scheduling simple tasks in the future, you will find knowing you have to do something at X time makes it much easier to accept and act on that activity.
A calendar is a checkbook for your time, an incredibly valuable resource. I've wasted far too much of my 20s without it.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
The only reason I don't tell people to start by tracking what they did during the day is because it requires mental labor that doesn't have an immediate payoff and they are more likely to stop keeping up. By just adding 1 modification per day, you get into the mode of filling your time with new activities to the point you will want to take an inventory of the shit you're currently doing and cut out the fat. Someone in this thread replied that just choosing to use a calendar is mentally tedious, it's understandable. I know the feeling of doing something that seems like redundant, unnecessary work. It's the old "I don't need a plan" guy showing up to kick you at your lowest point. By the time you start tracking what you did during the day, he's going to remind you how hard it is because of constant distractions and rationalize about how those distractions are more important than your stupid little plan. Self sabotage is so real that if you don't start small, you don't start at all.
lightfire409 5y ago
Yeah good points. Definitely important to start out with small, incremental improvements that have demonstrable benefits.
I like being about to look back and see exactly what i did at what times, so that keeps me going.
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ajayhemant 5y ago
Yes practice is important. But still theory is important too. They go hand in hand. You can't learn everything by practicing. You need to have a balance, a framework and yes a plan. Plan for practice but don't overlook theory. You need both and yes the ratio must be 50% each. You can't learn from your own mistakes always. I suggest mastering a module, then practicing next week, then journaling your progress and yes then reflecting what you learned.
Last advice. You have to make (devise) your own rules. Practice only filters what works for you and what doesn't.
htbf 5y ago
One new thing every day ?
What kind of new thing are we talking about ?
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
A specific piece of equipment at the gym you've been avoiding. Walk new path or any path at all if you're sedentary. Commit to kicking a ball around in the park on Thursday. Using a new word or memorizing a joke. You don't have to think outside of the box, you just have to build on borders of your current life experience.
alpha-zach 5y ago
Hmm new thing everyday. I might try this. That’s some pretty high value shit right there.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
Start small. Even if it's using that 1 piece of equipment at the gym you always avoided. Learn prepare a new meal. Go somewhere else than the place you usually hang out at. You don't lose in life, you learn. If you don't learn, then you're losing out. And remember to write it down exactly what you want to do and on what day.
NormalAndy 5y ago
There's real synergy between doing something new and doing something you are afraid of.
New gym equipment is the classic. People don't do it because they know they will suck at it and look like a dick at first. So it's the perfect opportunity to not give a shit about other gym rats and get building yourself from the ground up- again.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
I think people can alleviate the fear of new things by planning to do them at a certain time. When you know you are going to this exact thing today because you have to, you're more concerned about figuring it out so you can accomplish it than how you look to people who probably aren't watching your every move.
alpha-zach 5y ago
I hadn’t thought about little things like the new piece of equipment. I was thinking new places to go/adventures. My calendar has been 3 weeks full for a couple years but all work. I was wondering about finding a new adventure every day that seemed exhausting, fun though.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
If you set your sights too high for everything you might miss and that creates negative momentum to fall back into old habits. Travel is great, but you want to have activities and expand on things you are already interested in to become more proficient and avoid the feeling of "going through the motions". Going through the motions should only be reserved for work.
Not to mention, you will meet new people and you can ask them for recommendations on more things to do. You should never find yourself with a shortage of things to do.
alpha-zach 5y ago
Yeah def not gonna over do it. I’ve been doing a new adventure weekly lately. It’s been a good experience. Switching to daily would be too much. I was relating that the simple things like new piece of equipment was a stellar idea.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
It can get smaller than that. Commit to learn a new joke every Monday, then TELL that joke on Tuesday. It's truly endless if you just commit to making a small change, and the feedback will make you want to do more.
redpillbanana 5y ago
Great post.
Related is Seinfeld's "don't break the chain" calendar method:
https://www.writersstore.com/dont-break-the-chain-jerry-seinfeld/
DONT_reply_with_THIS 5y ago
This is why I'll never smoke again. Don't want to break the chain.
empatheticapathetic 5y ago
There’s an app called way of life that can do this for multiple habits. Someone wrote a post mentioning it.
I set it up a few times but never used it honestly. Using a calendar is great but this was too pointless for me to stick to regarding my menial habits that I’m already on top of.
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Zerwas 5y ago
It really sounds simple but is so fundamental.
I always got weird looks from other guys at college for having my calendar but guess who always had his deadlines and appointments on top?
Just an observation but basically every woman has her personal calendar when it comes to school, college or work and private life. Another reason why they generally are better in school/college.
In my opinion it helps massively to write the things down you have to remember, the process of writing helps to memorize even if you dont have to. A digital calendar is only an addition for me, so my phone helps with some of the most important stuff.
But really, especially if you are in college: Get a calendar and stop missing deadlines etc. immediately! Reliability cant be overestimated.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
A calendar is a strength program for deadlifting fear and tossing it into the nearest dumpster. I think people should start out with a physical calendar the same way I prefer physical books to a kindle or what have you. A phone is full of distractions to the point it's not longer a tool but a tyrant of people's attention.
KookyDonut 5y ago
Hmm I've never considered using an actual physical calendar. I might try it out in the future. For now I'll stick with the bullet journal as it's working pretty well so far.
[deleted] 5y ago
I do so much better with a real calendar/organizer. I have my assistant sync it up with my google calendar but if I start messing with online calendars and trackers I will waste an hour fiddling with it.
AceofRains 5y ago
I keep a calander of a hot nude IG model I used to follow before I dropped social media. I find it helps draw attention to the calander. I mark it off every day before I leave my room and prefill paydays and big events at the start of a months. One thing I could do better is start regular grocery shopping and presetting a menu on the calander so I know what to make and when to better follow my budget.
TheseNthose 5y ago
Reddit is a timesink to me because work is a timesink. Most jobs are unfortunately.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
This is understandable. What happens to a lot of people is the time-sink mentality bleeds into their personal life. They make excuses, are "too tired", or genuinely are burned out because they've made some shit-shoveling phone job their "life" instead of a phase. This too is a result of not planning to expand your way out of your current lot in life into something more fulfilling. Even if you haven't laid down the road from start to finish where you want to go, by limiting your new experiences, you're making it impossible to even figure it out at a later time.
sky_fallen 5y ago
I wanted to upvote this 20 times for the part about being unable to progress unless you go into new experiences. It's not so relevant for older folks that just need to stfu and lift and work their business but it's vital for growing up. I lost so many years just because I didn't know what to do and had no money to try new things.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
People become driven into death by their own fear. It's so easy to hear "face your fears" but it goes in 1 ear and out the other. Once you actually plan to face your first fear, you learn the nature of fear is the whiny kid who absolutely needs to get shoved into a locker. Everyone is out there trying to spread fear just to even the playing field, but you don't have to play their game.
lurktolearn 5y ago
Yup, for those who are skeptical on using a calendar and/or a to-do list, it does free up your mind. You no longer have to memorize shit. Now you can focus on other important stuff you have in mind.
Once you start using a calendar and/or to-do list, it gets addicting to cross it out and see your progress.
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Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
If you can't muster up the desire to write simple things on your calendar or a sticky note reminding you to read it every morning, then you need to hit rock bottom. Something has to happen to knock you off your feet and directly onto your face. You will need to question your own future, not just "what do I want to do", but "how do I want to be?" The comfort of white noise has to be shattered, rendered completely muted. Every minute you fall back into staring at the computer screen or at stupid memes on your phone, you feel like something is being stolen from you. Because it is. You will have to account for your time after it's already gone. If you had to interrogate yourself about how you spent your last 10 years and broadcast it to the whole world, that should be traumatic enough.
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xdrunkagainx 5y ago
Not sure where I saw it on here the other month. But there was a comment "I could do it if I wanted to, doesn't mean jack shit until you do!" I live by that motto now.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
It's true. There's of course a focus on approach anxiety in this sub, but approaching women is only half. If you muster up the courage to talk to a woman, but you go home and live a repetitive life, you have utterly failed as a man.
Count_Giggles 5y ago
This comes at the perfect time.
Two days ago I started a journal/calender - a bullet journal to be precise.
I did some digging on youtube about the setup and there was this guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rKQQByxaBw
He wrote down 4 core principles on somewhere at the beginning of the journal. one is
don't prioritize your schedule; schedule your priorities
stuck with me
doctorcoolpop 5y ago
no idea what you're talking about
Dehryll 5y ago
If anyone's ever read Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, there's a section that touches on how writing things down solidifies (and almost obligates) one to take that action.
Like door-to-door salesmen sometimes have you fill out paperwork making you state, "I will buy the product on _____ date" if it isn't immediately available. American POWs in the Korean War were given prizes for writing pro-Communist propaganda by the Chinese, even if they didn't believe in what they wrote, but many eventually began to believe their own essays.
It isn't 100%, but drastically increases the chances one will follow through with the action.
It helps a lot to write down your goals, even if it's last-minute and on a piece of scratchpaper. Doing it in the presence of others solidifies it even more. Basically self-brainwashing.
Protip: This is also a really good way to quit smoking and other addictions.
[deleted] 5y ago
you mean mirage
fucking illiterate dumbass
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
"A mirage is an optical illusion caused by atmospheric conditions, especially the appearance of a sheet of water in a desert or on a hot road caused by the refraction of light from the sky by heated air."
"A placebo is a harmless pill, medicine, or procedure prescribed more for the psychological benefit to the patient than for any physiological effect."
There's 2 things that are never as big as you think they are: Your importance, and your intelligence.
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GoCleanYourRoom 5y ago
Spot on OP.
A schedule should not become a tyrant that forces you to stick to it. It should be a tool you use to plan how to have the best day/week/month/year possible, to further your goals and to free up time.
[deleted] 5y ago
A tyrant calendar still isn’t bad. As long as it gets you off your ass and doing stuff
salandra 5y ago
Holy shit, i've been finally feeling alpha for the last month and i just started using a calendar in may, it really has made a huge difference. i vouch for /u/Wrath_of_Trump
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
Starting down the path isn't about time management, it's about facing your fear and killing yourself, the one who judges you.
salandra 5y ago
oh of course, but a calendar still has a huge impact
PhaedrusHunt 5y ago
Warren Buffet has no calendar. I kind of do. But I'm no Warren Buffet.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
He probably doesn't have a phone either. At some point you have to pity Warren Buffet. He has access to anything, but may prefer the comforts of a quiet life to balance out the madness of managing a financial institution, including repetitive meetings, conference calls, shareholder updates. His only fear is probably losing the money, which he will not face until he croaks.
"And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also."
starkfuture 5y ago
Yeah, it is called WAR & DISASTER. Just think about it.
bitchpotatobunny 5y ago
This is solid advice. It also coincides with another "every day" motto I find important, which is "learn something new every day." Even if it's just a word, or a new road that can be used on your commute, just something you didn't know the day before. And while you may find yourself with a routine that is improving yourself, you can always find time to experience/learn something new.
Time management is a fundamental skill of which its importance is often overlooked or understated. I've had poor time management come back to bite me in the ass more times than I'd like to admit.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
Learning something new isn't just about becoming more knowledgeable, it's about understanding what fear is, and how the world you thought you knew was a lie. A self constructed lie, with a little help from all the retards out there pushing their fears onto others in an attempt not to feel alone in their insufficiency.
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