When you marry a woman, cohabit with her, or enter into an exclusive relationship and remain exclusive for an extended period of time, she becomes comfortable with you. Comfortable that you are invested in her. Comfortable that you’re not going to leave her. Comfort, time, and familiarity breed contempt.
After spending a mere 30 seconds on the internet, you can find a massive list of stories about men complaining that their wives and girlfriends are mean, ungrateful, judgmental, bitchy, crazy, and so on. It’s become something of a societal trope. Something we laugh at. Women who proudly wear T-shirts proclaiming that they’re a bitch. “I’m a great girl. I just get a little crazy sometimes! LOL!” If you can’t handle her at her worst, you don’t deserve her at her best, right? Real men ought to be able to handle a strong, independent woman who isn’t afraid to express herself, right?
Things didn’t start this way for these men. These women used to be great girls. Fun, pleasant to be around, sexually generous. Their eyes lit up when they saw their men. They smiled. They gave him that look. They would spontaneously touch him. They would do things for him. They cared what their men thought. They cared whether their men were happy. They did things to make their men happy and felt pride in doing so. But comfort, time, and familiarity breed contempt. These men let their women get too comfortable and too familiar. They invested too much time.
The common Red Pill response to a bitchy woman is to laugh. Agree and amplify her shit tests. Apply dread game and put the fear of loss back into her. Maybe even soft next her, demote her to plate, and put the actual realization of loss back into her, not just the fear of it. Or even hard next her if she’s being especially unruly.
After all, if you’re “alpha” enough and pass enough of her shit tests, she’ll magically behave herself, right? Well, maybe for a few days. Then you’re back at it again. But if you’re a good leader and teach her and train her well, she’ll become a good girlfriend, right? Nope.
Because women fucking know better. They don’t need to be “led”. They already fucking know better. Women know that men don’t like sexless bitches. You don’t have to tell them that. If you find yourself having to talk to a woman about her poor behavior – something she already damn well knows – then she’s already proven herself not to be wife or girlfriend material. She knows better but is choosing to be an ungrateful, mean, sexless bitch out of contempt for you. She thinks you’ll put up with it, because you’re a loser who can’t drop her for somebody better. Maybe you ought to prove her wrong.
But all women are mean, bitchy, crazy, and ungrateful some of the time. All women shit test. If you’re looking for a woman who doesn’t, you’re actually looking for a pet dog. A well-treated dog is always grateful and never mean.
So if you intend to interact with women, then you need to expect shit tests, bitchy behavior, meanness, craziness, and a complete and utter lack of gratitude for everything. You can’t just drop every girl who’s ever a bitch, or you’ll never get laid. But you need to have limits. Enforce boundaries. If you let a woman walk all over you and shit test you at will, you’re going to be a very unhappy, very sexless, very invested loser who lives with a nagging, cheating, bitchy shrew.
One way to gauge the status of your relationship is the stranger test. Watch how your wife or girlfriend treats strangers.
If your wife or girlfriend is a bitch to everybody, she’s crazy and unstable and you need to dump her right away, change your phone number, and move. Unless you have a good system for hiding bodies. Don’t waste your time with sociopaths and the mentally ill.
But if she’s not (which is most women), then the problem isn’t her, it’s you. Don’t focus on how she treats you. Watch how she treats others. Everyone. Grocery sackers, waiters at restaurants, her friends, her family, strange guys who hit on her. Everyone. That will help you put things in perspective.
When your wife or girlfriend is being a mean and ungrateful bitch and pissing on you, remember, she’s not a bitch. She’s just a bitch to you. She’s perfectly respectful and pleasant to her friends, to her co-workers, and even to strangers she meets on the street. She wouldn’t dream of being a bitch to others, because she knows that being a bitch will get her de-friended, fired, and blow any chance of a good impression on a stranger. But she’s a constant bitch to you because she thinks you’re a loser who can’t do anything about it. If you dropped her for another girl without making any changes to yourself, that other girl would be just as bitchy to you a few months in.
Does your wife or girlfriend do things to you, refuse to do things for you, and say terrible things to you that she would never, in a million years, say to a friend, to a co-worker, or to a complete stranger she met at Starbucks?
Then she respects you less than she respects a total stranger. She is treating you, the man she supposedly loves, worse than she treats bystanders at a coffee shop. You get her at her worst, while some random guy in line at the bank gets her best behavior. Her most pleasant, attractive, respectful self that she only showed to you back when you were dating and she thought she might lose you if she misbehaved.
Do you want that woman back? Do you want to be treated at least as well as she treats her office-mates and strangers she meets while running errands? You know, with basic human decency and respect instead of utter contempt, meanness, and a serious lack of gratitude?
Fuck that. Did you just think “yes” to yourself? Fuck that, and fuck you.
If you chose this woman to be your girlfriend or wife, she should be treating you better than her friends, co-workers, and random strangers she meets. Other people aren’t doing shit for her, you are, and you’re expecting the same respect that she gives to a stranger? You’re giving away your time and investment for free, as though you’re worthless? No wonder she pisses on you.
Do you know why she’s nice to that stranger, but a bitch to you? Because that stranger’s opinion of her is still in flux. That stranger can walk away right now.
Be more like a stranger to her. Do your own shit, live your own life, and let her wonder who you are, who you’ve become, and why, all of the sudden, she feels like she doesn’t know you any more. Make her audition and re-audition for the role of your wife/girlfriend every day. Make her feel as though your opinion of her is constantly in flux, like she could fail at any time. Like tomorrow, she could lose you. Like her status is hanging by a thread.
Because you are a not a stranger. You have power over her. Whether she likes sex, your money, your time, the status of being next to a cool, good-looking guy like you, or whatever else you bring to the table. She wants something. Be forever willing to take that something away. Even give it to someone else. You worked hard to earn your shit. Make her work twice as hard to earn it from you so you can turn a little profit on that shit of yours.
Check out this and other content on The Red Pill's off-Reddit site. Here's a link.
Dolphinsbeatemc2 7y ago
Men's biggest complaints for women: "She changed". Women's biggest complaints for men: "He won't change".
fistofbolts 7y ago
Going through this exactly right now, really needed to hear this truth, thank you.
momomotorboat 7y ago
Life atm is proof positive of this. It never turned bad, luckily enough, but it got stale and lost it's luster. I tried to work at it with her. Had enough of her shit, withdrew, went monk and moved out.
Went from dead bedroom to drained balls.
ChadThundercockII 7y ago
Prostitutes, man. Once you make it a habit to pay for sex, women and any other thing in life that makes you lose frame won't anymore.
People who lose frame and get disrespected are needy faggots. Stop being a needy faggot.
Edit: This also provides you with dread and abundance. Plus, pros are the nicest women after your mother.
Hypersensation 7y ago
Is this sub just a bunch of virgin retards or what? Top post of the week, what a fucking joke.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
It's a great racket. As long as nobody cool like you posts here, I get to be king of the internet.
Hypersensation 7y ago
I can hardly say that I'm cool. Not that only real women blabla. Bad people end up in bad relationships. Delusional people say it's not their fault. Become the best person you can be and find someone who treats you with respect.
Women and men alike, are assholes. Don't be one and meet someone who also isn't one.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Let me know how that search for an equal partner and a relationship full of respect and communication goes.
tolerantman 7y ago
There are a lot of good quotes here
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[deleted] 7y ago
I wrote an observation on ThanksTRP about this. Which you should treat your SO exactly the same they treated you. You should ONLY date someone who is on your level.
Most beta men don't understand this, just let their women bitch on them.
Do this next time when your SO bitch on you: Tell them you are not my material, deny their action and break up immediately. I had this girlfriend 10 years ago. family gave me privilege to get in county club cost $75k initiation fee then $25k every year. I only need to pay $25k every year since family were long time member. We bought few friends to play tennis, golf regularly. Had drinks and some good dinners.
After 6 months this girlfriend thought she is in secured position and start comparing me to others, bitching about her friend got more hand bags than she does, and she is about to find a better MEN, while in front of my friends.
The two days later I cut all her access to my house which gated with security, lift access to my office and garage(downtown building, which also gated with security), county club deny her access in front of her friends.
She cried over telephone and I hang up within 5 second with no regard. Her mother called, but thanks to my old self, which not stupid enough to give her a second chance. It was simply a:K bye.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Spot on. Had this plate once, she treated everyone like garbage except for me (plus other men/women in power). She was rude to the McDonalds woman, strangers who hit on her, to her friends, to her beta orbitters, her friendzoned guy, ex boyfriends, hell even her sisters and parents. It bordered on abusive at times. Yet I told myself things were different from me, stupid beta me. Eventually I got the same vile treatment.
The only ones she was polite and nice to were men she wanted something from and women she tried to befriend. First class user. When she had them she abused them.
Side note
Besides rude bitchy behavior being an indication of a shit test or lack off respect it can also be a sign that a girl wants to break up with you. Women avoid conflict, she'd rather create a fight in order to break up than give it to you straight.
She'll push your buttons to get you to explode. If you try to take it or pass it like a shit test she'll just amplify the rudeness. She wants out. Probably is cheating or thinking about cheating with someone already and she just wants an excuse.
D-White 7y ago
Sounds like what I've seen as inevitable for months now. Sex has never been an issue for us though. She is actually very insecure about how I cheated on her before we were married, but therein is the problem...theres an inherent blockade to anything I attempt to exert dread-wise. That blockade is her splitting, and in its worst form comes with absolute disrespect and distrust, unique displays in their unusual disconnect that's had me researching BPD criteria (she's been previously diagnosed, within the last decade, with chronic depresion, PTSD, and OCD tendencies, all of which I've scarily considered, lately, might just be symptoms or misdiagnosis).
I was very close to making an appointment today to discuss this with a professional, still might. We have kids, and married red pill was a late find for me, but I considered the information from their. TRP is much more ruthless to situations like mine.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Shit damn man, you're married and you have kids with a BPD woman? You should watch your and your kids back twice everyday. Once you reached the 'hater' phase she's gonna try to destroy you- don't let her.
D-White 7y ago
We've been together over 6 years. What do you mean by hater phase?
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
If she's truly BPD then she will eventually quit the adoration for you, somewhere around the time where the fear of losing you has evaporated. Then she will replace is by push/pull tactics and hating your guts. Nothing you do will be good enough any longer.
I'd recommend you read up on the disorder and make sure your wife qualifies. For your sake and your kids. Women like that can be quite damaging to children.
D-White 7y ago
If she indeed has such a condition, she is at least functional. She's prior military and keeps a clean house, stays reasonably productive for a woman. The detrimental part is her destructive nature with people and relationships.
Honestly, I'm relieved she went to that extent. Makes it much easier on my conscience moving forward with terminating my relationship with my daughters mom. I had enough experience to do so prior, but I took another gamble on "making it work". Its a very hard thing to truly own turning away from your own path with a person. I take a large responsibility for my choices in mate selection, and procreation. However, the best time to end a relationship is 20 years ago, the next best time is now.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
What made her so unbearable?
D-White 7y ago
Splitting first and foremost. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Her negative, disrespectful, apathetic attitude has festered since I decided to marry her. Worst decison I've ever made was thinking marriage would make everything BETTER. This was my thinking before the red pill. The ignorance I had then has caused me some pretty hard times the past two years.
I'm on my phone or I'd go more in detail. I still need to get my things from the house at some point. I feel as confident as I could be though I guess. Keeping things together is a challenge, but I'm doing much better than when she left right after I got out of the military.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
That's the moment she went hater. She secured you and isn't afraid to lose you anymore.
Good luck getting your live on track and protect yourself and your children. Remember that she's not your friend, in fact she's closer to an enemy. Be ruthless and defeat her. That's the only way you can save yourself.
D-White 7y ago
Indeed, the worst thing to happen in our relationship was marriage. Thanks for the thoughts man.
Redpill_Hannibal 7y ago
In series "Mad Men", there was this scene, where Betty Draper, the wife of the main protagonist, wakes up next to her husband, with whom she has daughter and son, looks at him and asks: "Who are you?".
I was like "yep gotta aim for that kind of separation".
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[deleted] 7y ago
And both women fucked other men and made their husband's lives hell in both those series. Just don't marry. Be a stranger because you are a stranger.
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[deleted] 7y ago
Honestly it just highlights the truth behind Archwinger's post.
Redpill_Hannibal 7y ago
Don cheated so many times, he had it coming
[deleted] 7y ago
Don should never have married. Problem solved. I was never able to finish the series because I got progressively more pissed at every character.
TomFoo 7y ago
Sad thing is, our digital community here shows that even if he didn't cheat, he still would have had it coming. Beta Don, who would've thunk it.
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103342 7y ago
This is something that I had in my mind for a long time and this idea was of great use for me. Great post.
Also, this explains why a lot of women cheat on very alpha dudes with apparently lower value guys.
It is about being different and looking for validation, when the validation of "her man" is already there and valueless.
[deleted] 7y ago
"Just be Alpha enough and she won't cheat." Maybe a step while swallowing the pill. Maybe.
And then you understand that a guy doesn't have to be anything other than NOT YOU to trigger tingles. Sad
For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
[deleted] 7y ago
I think it is more like:"Just be Alpha enough so she know she will be dumped if she cheat."
103342 7y ago
Yup. That is one tough pill to swallow.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Guys take this far to bitter. Just do the exact same thing their doing. Honestly now that I know I've discovered my own sexual desires to bang various women. Fucking some meager six on the side while my solid eight is going to a birthday- all because this girl has a bigger ass than mine- + I 'm triggered by new things.
How can you feel guilty nowadays? It's truly liberating.
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ApexScorpion 7y ago
I've been saying this in my head for a long fucking time now. Please tell me you have a reference to the person who said this.
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nuferasgurd 7y ago
It's from the Bible, ecclesiastics I believe.
SoRedSuchAlpha 7y ago
Ecclesiastes, yes. Or Qoheleth, as Jews and academics call it. Or "Wisdom," which is what Qoholeth means.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
It's gotten really bad. If a woman is pretty certain there's no chance of getting hot and she's a little horny while out at girl's night, she figures what the heck. Even if the other guy isn't that great. What's the harm? Her man back home will never know, and nowadays, society has reduced sex to an unimportant, trivial, purely recreational act.
That's really the crux of it all. Sex used to be important. Something committed couples did to express love and make children.
Once we reduced sex from something important to something purely recreational, sex was no longer the foundation of a "relationship". People are expected to pair off and be relationship partners based on personalities and common interests and butterflies in their bellies, even in the complete absence of sex. Sex isn't something foundational for them any more -- it's just something they occasionally do for fun, unless they'd rather watch TV.
And likewise, sex outside of the relationship just isn't that big of a deal any more. People get more angry about the lying than the actual sex. The sex is just some physical thing people do for fun anyway.
remyseven 7y ago
Sex is trivial now and has been greatly so since the sexual revolution and the advent of the condom. Consequences are almost a thing of the past as we enter into a Brave New World (remember those orgies?).
If there were more repercussions for having no strings attached sex, women would be less likely to be promiscuous because there's greater risk and long term consequences.
Women in America today are a new species - completely unhinged. Fight Club had it right: "I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need."
[deleted] 7y ago
Right man, right time, right circumstances, low risk of detection - a woman WILL cheat.
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[deleted] 7y ago
No. Because nearly all the time, all four conditions aren't present.
And occasionally you actually have a woman who doesn't cheat even when the conditions are met, because she's actually worth a shit and actually cares about her man.
[deleted] 7y ago
Archwinger said it something like this in a comment I wouldn't know how to find.
Let's say you had a woman with a clear opportunity to cheat. It's a very attractive man, the time is just right, ambience and atmosphere are perfect, and she is 2000 miles from home, on business, where no one knows her. She could cheat with this very, very attractive man who is pushing all the right tingly buttons, she will never see this man again, and there is no way anyone will ever find out.
99% of women will think fleetingly about it.
of that 99%, around half will think quite seriously about it.
of that half, maybe half will take a few steps in that direction and flirt openly, and respond to the advances, but stop short of cheating.
And of the 25% that's left, around 80% to 90% (or about 20% of the total) will go ahead and do the deed.
SoRedSuchAlpha 7y ago
This is one of the most reasonable things I've seen someone say on the subject around here. I should save it to slap down the more paranoid among us.
[deleted] 7y ago
If she thinks you won't find out..its 100%. Same percentage of dogs who eat bacon offered by strangers
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Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
My wife's a smart woman. If she really wanted to cheat and really wanted to get away with it, I'd never know. If I wanted the same, she'd never know. Between work and home, she doesn't have a lot of opportunities, but they come around from time to time, and you can always make opportunities. I don't think she's actually cheated, but you never know.
But like I said, if she really wants to and really wants to get away with it, I'd never know. So no sense laying awake at night worrying about shit you can't help.
In fact, if she is/has, it's better I don't know. If she knew that I knew, that would bring things to a head, and we'd get divorced. I'd lose my daughter. If she thinks she's getting away with something and snickers to herself while staying married, I get to keep my kid. Win-win. But I don't think she's cheating.
However, all women have the potential to cheat. My wife's still battling her baby weight, works from home, and doesn't have any interesting hobbies. I doubt she's attracting lots of non-losers begging to fuck her. But if a really cool, non-loser guy that she regards better than me made her feel special, I have little doubt she'd go for it.
RP_Vergil 7y ago
Before Enlightenment : Chop Wood, Carry Water.
After Enlightenment : Chop Wood, Carry Water.
It's the highest level of accepting that things in life simply just happen and all you can do is control what you can. So why worry too much about the inevitable.
ApexScorpion 7y ago
I like your response. Its like lifting a weight off of yourself in thinking that you have to control your wife. You cant, so why worry about it? Its almost as if you don't care. You've seemed to detach yourself from your wife and shifted most of your love to your daughter, who needs it the most. I understand this type of thinking doesn't happen overnight. Bravo.
Physio_Tool 7y ago
Patrice o neil said you should be able to walk in on your wife fucking another dude and say "phew thank god I just walked in on my wife fucking another dude" as if said in a sigh of relief. He said anything else is your ego
103342 7y ago
Yup, this explains why girls these days would rather have casual sex with complete strangers than with known guys, even if they are overall "better".
Sex with a total stranger is more exciting, because it is different and carries less weight.
When you remove the "importance" of sex, you have what you have in most western countries these days: Easy to have casual relationships, almost impossible to create a deep and fulfilling relationship.
Also, I follow your posts for almost a year and a half now, some of them really helped me a lot.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
All of that is fine but these same girls also want a relationship. Their constantly jumping from one camp to the other. It's tiring.
Sometimes they will purposefully hold off sex if you're high in SMV and RMV. They want to capture you like some Pokémon.
It's true that women sometimes aim for the less valuable guy. They feel like they can truly let go with them because they weren't looking for a relationship anyway.
Women love to compartmentalize.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
I read a post a few years ago from some guy who, honest to God, rearranged his entire apartment to put his bed in his living room and his living room in his bedroom.
He'd be coming home with some slut, they'd have all but fucked in the parking lot already and were just about to head home to seal the deal. She'd walk in and see his badass living room with all of his badass stuff...
And suddenly, she'd start backpedaling, claiming she wasn't like this, had never done this before, it was too much too fast, maybe they should get to know each other first, blah blah bullshit blah. She saw his awesome pad and how put together his life was after riding in his cool car and got it in her head that she wanted to date him, not just fuck him, so she immediately tried to do damage control and pretend she wasn't a slut.
After that happened enough times, he rearranged his apartment so the bed was right there and women didn't see his cool living room.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Thanks for sharing that story man, this was exactly as I suspected. Someone mentioned it in a post a while back and I've been running with the idea. Makes perfect sense.
Women are greedy fuckers that want both money and sex. She will put you in whatever box best suits her. Rest assured that this girl quickly adjusted and removed an entire list of sexual favors she would have done for that guy- the moment she saw his house.
Alpha as fuck be damned, women know most guys don't LTR a slut. She's gonna hide that fact really well in order to chain the guy up. And he'll get lower quality sex in return.
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clonegreen 7y ago
I've wondered about this, does this mean that the women who engage in sex with strangers have some sort of inherent flaw, or does society trick them into thinking it's a minor thing, and unimportant?
103342 7y ago
Yeah, society encourages promiscuty without warning about the consequences. So it seems like it encourages sex with strangers.
I don't think women that do this have a flaw. I love these kinds of women, but wouldn't even consider them for LTR.
clonegreen 7y ago
Yeah, that's where things get botched however.
The pool of genuinely enjoyable, obedient, and stable women is depleting. Making the likelihood of single parent children being raised from loose women a common scene.
Which in turn leads to inadequacies that reduces the likelihood of healthy growth in society.
103342 7y ago
At the point I am right now I couldn't really care less about society.
I would love to have children though. But I'm not gonna do that until I have some way to guarantee that my assets are safe.
mustard5 7y ago
I love it when I come on this sub-reddit and find something that validates my sense of reality.
I've been pushing into doing my own thing for the last month. Part of that has been taking control of my environment. For a while this working well for me in my relationship with my wife. I was getting sex whenever I wanted it. I was getting affection from her that was spontaneous and impromptu. Things were feeling good! I didn't get too carried away with it though. I'm still on a course of being my own man first and foremost.
Monday she texts me and asks if I can do some shopping (I shop for myself, because I'm sick of eating the crap food all the women in my house eat.) I think to myself, I'm going shopping, sure. I can assist her and take some of the burden from her life and I'll be taking control of my environment.
Tuesday comes. I'm getting shit tested. Respect has dropped off. Teenage step daughter is chuckling at her mother ridiculing me, while said step daughter is cooking their dinner with all the ingredients I bought from the shop the day before (I cook my own meals). I think to myself, here is another lesson. Now that they have food in the house, they feel in control and life is going their way. They seem to take for granted that I will always be at their beck and call. Next time I get asked to take up her slack, I'll be suggesting she get her own shit together. I'm too busy living my life to deal with hers.
Wednesday morning. I'm up cleaning up the kitchen that the step daughter fails to do after cooking. My wife walks past me with this challenging look on her face. I smile, but say nothing, carrying on what I'm doing, being in control of my environment. She seems surprised I'm not reacting to her insolence. I finish clearing everything away and kick back with my coffee and cream on the computer (day off), put on some music and start writing. She comes over to me as and says goodbye. I absent-mindedly and with little conviction tell her to 'have a good day' with a half hearted kiss. I can tell that her mind is working overtime wondering what I'm thinking. I continue to play the mystery game. No need to telegraph my punches. :-D
I'm going to enjoy every moment I spend on myself this week. It's glorious being me. The new man dependent on nothing else than myself.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
It always amazed me that PMS was selectively applied to the boyfriend or husband, yet these women kept their jobs and families.... and mysteriously the PMS gets worse as the relationship develops.
Bottom line: give her commitment and you are handing her the opportunity to take you for granted and walk all over you. Women are too weak to resist this opportunity, men are manipulated into being proud to accept this dumb fucking role as whippping boy in the relationship.
No... fuck that...apply dread from day one, never ever release her from it.
Maybe maybe maybe she's a good girl who will still treat you well if you commit to her, but chances are she isn't so don't take the risk.
aBitClearer 7y ago
My LTR was particularly bitchy with PMS last week. One min I was superman, the next I didn't love her, so I told her she couldn't come over until she got her act together. Boy did that change her tune. Since then, as soon as she walks in to my place, I've been fucking her face and making her choak on my cum, and lord has she taken my orgasm to the next level. She blew me four times last Saturday night, and vigorously at that, made the initiations every time. Period gone on Sunday and fucked her silly at will, even when she was on the phone. Great sex and the best consecutive orgasms to date.
Now I don't know how long this will last (I'll find out in 3 weeks), but it was dread game that brought her to her senses.
BluepillProfessor 7y ago
Damn! This post was like a bullet right in the eyeball.
One of the most succinct arguments for Dread Game in LTR's ever written and so common.
I like to quietly call out women for disrespecting their husbands. As they deny it with a shock and hubby nods his head it is LLLOLLOLLLOZZZZ everywhere.
1991Kira 7y ago
This. I'm going to get this framed and hang it on my bedroom wall so it's the first thing I see when I wake up every morning.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Respect is reinforced up or down at every interaction. As a man, you can NEVER become complacent about maintaining your frame and SMV, especially in a LTR or marriage. It's best to set a strong precedent with early relationship tests and misbehaviors. Once a pattern of disrespect has become entrenched, it IS possible to bring it back from the brink; many men who swallowed the pill after getting married have turned dead bedrooms and harpy spouses around. However, this is a difficult path and it doesn't always work out in the end.
Everyone, including her, will be much happier in the relationship if you lead her well from the beginning, including shooting down shit tests and disrespect, firmly and consistently.
[deleted] 7y ago
That's exactly why I went in monk mode while I digested the pill. I had to work on my frame and my SMV. I cut until my BMI was 23.2 and then started lifting/bulking after 10 months of monk mode. Then after a couple months of bulking I decided that my frame was strong enough that it was time to get back in the game.
I am in an LTR right now. We fuck probably 10-15 times a week and she almost never shit tests me. She's only fallen out of line a couple of times and she gets swiftly and intensely corrected. I've never been in an LTR this healthy before and it's definitely due to being as alpha as I possibly can, while knowing how and when to sprinkle in the correct beta qualities.
Forcetobereckonedwit 7y ago
Love it. Keep it up. Best of luck in the long term. It ain't easy.
polakfury 7y ago
Isnt it the norm to set boundaries early on in the relationship anyways? Seems like people dont even now a days.
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polakfury 7y ago
But I dont take shit from nobody!
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upupvote2 7y ago
Sunk. Cost. Fallacy.
I get what you're saying, but ultimately it's probably a good idea to plan an exit strategy where you're not completely fucked over.
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SoRedSuchAlpha 7y ago
There's the sunk cost fallacy, but also the genuine cost of transition. Branch swinging takes time, energy, and often money. It's often rational to stay in a pretty-good established relationship even if it's possible to get a slightly-better one through great effort.
upupvote2 7y ago
You make a valid point; I hadn't considered that. I guess a person would have to weigh up the pros and cons of staying compared to moving on.
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RedPillHanSolo 7y ago
Exactly. "Saving our marriage for the kids" is just hamstering. I suspect that it goes for both men and women.
cptspiffy 7y ago
I agree that if you cannot get along, you should split up. I suspect many guys "get along" with thier wives, but I think that is setting the bar pretty low.
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cptspiffy 7y ago
It's really not, but you won't understand if you don't have kids. I didn't.
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Rhunta 7y ago
It is possible to understand even if you don't have kids.
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RedPillJohnny 7y ago
Blue pill ricker Chris Isaak has some surprisingly Red Pill lyrics and this song is the theme of this post...https://youtu.be/C87uqSTkJd8 Kiss Me Like a Stranger
ApexScorpion 7y ago
Had a girl tell me she didn't fell like auditioning for me anymore. Felt like I was mystery. Felt like she was always on thin ice.
Funny thing is...I was just being myself. Guess that grew too "familiar" also.
What do you have to say to this?
I fully agree with the post btw.
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Forcetobereckonedwit 7y ago
Well said Archwinger, great post. I have learned to go the extra mile for my women, and I expect and receive the same. When that changes, I change...women.
Suchnamebro 7y ago
In other more harsh words make sure your woman treats you like your dog....barks at everyone else...loves you unconditionally
disposable_pants 7y ago
Too often people on here just shout "next!" as if it's a reasonable solution to a problem you'd find with any woman. Moving on to another, new problem that's no worse than the one you're dealing with isn't a very good idea. The devil you know, and all.
Gstreetshit 7y ago
I'm very fortunate because the thing I can take away is sex.
[deleted] 7y ago
This really drove what you're getting at home. Women frame dealing with their shit as a privilege. Lol as a privilege
I'm sitting here laughing at the absurdity. And to think I was blind to it.
DoxasticPoo 7y ago
Holy shit, that made me burst out laughing too
[deleted] 7y ago
women will be as shitty as you let them.
they treat it like that because every bit of feedback they receive reinforces it. It's a simple thing, but the idea of rewarding good behaviour, and not rewarding bad behaviour could have a huge effect on this bullshit.
or just make every girl look unfuckable to the thirstiest of men... I'll probably keep to the former
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
Kind of the same deal with vaginal and anal sex
"You can fuck me but no anal though. That's special for my bf."
Thank you, women, for giving your shit hole special value to the committed men you love.
Women literally give us scraps and say "this means everything to me" and we buy they're bullshit at the highest price and we think we've got a deal.
They're great business people.
Shitty people but great business people.
p3n1x 7y ago
So are you, technically, right?
Change your perspective through acceptance of facts. They are what they are, you have zero control over this. No reason to piss about it. Enjoy them, move on, enjoy another one.
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
Preaching to the wrong person buddy
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Entropy-7 7y ago
FIFY
IHTS (I Hate That Shit)
You find out she took it up the hoop from her Chad ex who had a dick the size of her arm. . .repeatedly. . .but won't indulge you.
RealRational 7y ago
Except they're terrible at business.
awalt_cupcake 7y ago
Great business people =/= great business
They just got what it takes
AND YET THEY STILL FUCK THAT UP
smh
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Same here. It's almost expected. The wife/girlfriend who's a raging bitch to her man, but just fine to everyone else is practically the standard. The man is supposed to feel honored that she's comfortable enough with him to drop any pretense of respect or niceness.
Fuck that noise.
GuitarHero07 7y ago
As always Archwinger, your writing always hits the nail on the head. I think this ties in very nicely with the concept of frame.
In most relationships, the frame favors the female. Think about it, a man proposes marriage by getting down on his knees to buy a woman an extremely expensive stone!
This symbolizes that it is a "privilege" to protect her, provide for her and to have sex with her. In fact, it should be the other way around or at least an equitable deal/arrangement. I think it's a pretty good deal for a woman to enjoy my time, company, the fruits of my money and my penis.
If she can find a better deal, she is welcome to look for it. But if she accepts, she must do her part and bring value to your life. Does she bring you good sex? Money? A powerful father in law? A good mother to your kids? Pleasant company? Some combination thereof?
The problem in so many of today's relationships is that men have completely ceded control of the frame. It's not entirely their fault though; the Feminine Imperative is strong in today's society. Men don't even know they are being ripped off.
TomFoo 7y ago
Fight fight fight. Nag nag nag. Passive aggressive silence. Passive aggressive silence. Passive aggressive silence.
Then bam! You and your LTR finally arrive at your (her) friends' house for a nice little dinner party. Faster than Ben Affleck can make yet another bad movie decision, she changes persona, beaming like an angel who farts flowers. You shake your head in disgust and familiarity.
This is literally every couple in the world.
But this is because you broke frame. This is because you haven't dreaded her. This is not because your SMV isn't high enough; it's not getting higher.
So what you originally paid for was a Aston Martin. What it turned out to be was a 1st gen Honda Civic. Now you learn that you have to pay again, except this time will be the price of a few Vanquishes, but the performance and comfort level will be of a four door automatic '97 Acura Integra at best.
You: "Why are you treating me worse than you treat your friends who you don't even like that much?" Her: "Because you are my bf/husband! Stop being so sensitive and man up!"
Fuck that noise, indeed. I'm just gonna steal race cars for a joy ride every now and then.
sd4c 7y ago
Sunlight is the best disinfectant. If she's yelling at you, bust out your cellphone and roll tape. Watch her story (and tone) change the instant she realizes you're recording her. The hitting and shoving stops. The accusations now contain "justifications" for her rage in every phrase. She'll drag up wrongs she thinks you'd be embarrassed to be known, as excuses for her actions, even if they've been long forgiven.
If you have the means, pre-emptively set up cameras everywhere you legally can. Make sure your legal bases are covered (have signage up, no cameras in the bathroom/bedroom, etc). Make sure your car is covered. Make sure they're streaming to a cloud backup because she can and will eventually disconnect them (or destroy them) when she feels a strong need to abuse you in isolation.
It's sad that it's come to this, but better safe than sorry. False accusations of domestic abuse are rampant these days and "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".
p3n1x 7y ago
Breaking frame generates the fear that you will fail to protect her reputation, and can be the catalyst for this nasty behavior.
thawayred 7y ago
I can confirm.
It remembers me my ex that I have told a joke and she barely moved an eyebrow. Week later on house party Chad (tm) tells the same joke and she almost pissed herself laughing over 5 minutes.
this also relates to her behavior, not just her looks: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1c/8e/a7/1c8ea718bce052570568b92499c780f2.jpg
To the frame: it is impossible to rival in her in smv when you are both 25. Endless uphill battle.
d0lphinsex 7y ago
That picture hits home. Fuck. I'm sooo glad it's over.
masnera 7y ago
wow...that kind of life sucks...i feel good that...at 35 i still am not married.
[deleted] 7y ago
I'm going to add a caveat also. archwinger is a little more passionate about it than most.
Have fun with it. If she's gonna be bitchy, enjoy yourself... at her expense. If it's a game to you, then she can't piss you off. Like that youtube video of the monkey who keeps fucking with the tiger.
sure, you can 'fuck that noise' but eventually, you won't have to. You wouldn't lose your shit if a 4 year old was acting bitchy, why does that big teenager get the real deal?
p3n1x 7y ago
Manipulate their emotional state with the strength of your genuine calm and happiness!
Think of it like a win, win for all parties instead of at someones expense.
Remember, she is acting like this because of your failing in the first place.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Back in my early marriage days, I couldn't wait until we got to her friend's house so she'd finally stop being a bitch for a second and start acting normal. We'd have a great night out with friends.
The second we were in the car and the doors closed, the smile would literally fall off of her face like runny make-up, and we'd drive home in silence. I'd attempt conversation a few times, and she'd just sit there and not respond, or give me one-word responses. You don't want to lead the man you married on with pleasant behavior, or he might think that husbands and wives are supposed to have sex.
[deleted] 7y ago
My ex is like this with our kid two. So frustrated with him one-on-one, but once she gets out in public she is superhero mom.
Also, bitch management applies. How happy is your dog going to be if you aren't taking her out for walks and exercise? if she is at home with you she is not going to be socialized as well as if you take her to the dog park regularly. Women are looking for a partner to go out with, men are looking for a partner to come home to.
Most men are ragged out from work and want to recharge @ home. Most women are under-challenged at work and need to go out and expend their energy and they actually get a bump from the energy of the people there. Women love being around high energy men. As the man you can't let your work de-charge you so much that you are getting your woman the exercise and and socialization she needs. Otherwise you come home to a dump on the floor and ruined drywall.
BluepillProfessor 7y ago
Yep, this behavior is pure anti-slut defense- or more properly anti-husband sex defense. Works better than a chastity belt.
[deleted] 7y ago
lol, instead of denials, just make yourself unfuckable by bitching.
And why wouldn't she? If the guy is putting up with it and not going off to fuck the neighbour... he has no options but to put up with it
Bucks_trickland 7y ago
So I should fuck the neighbor, I knew it! She's smoking hot, and of course, way nicer than my wife to me.
[deleted] 7y ago
Not necessarily, just make her feel that at any point, you have the potential to fuck the neighbor if she is not satisfying your needs.
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mypasswordismud 7y ago
You're not alone man. This is why we keep growing.
Metalgear222 7y ago
I still encounter this, at a party hanging out in my room with a few friends and some drunk stumbling underage girl bursts into my room and starts being obnoxious and flops down on my bed without hesitation. I asked her to nicely/jokingly to get up and leave. Her response: "you should be happy there's a girl in your bed."
I asked again more stern. She repeats herself. Unreal.
DeltaRecon2552 7y ago
Pick up, throw in floor. Problem solved
Bruiko 7y ago
"I'm actually gay that day, thanks".
Forcetobereckonedwit 7y ago
"You should happy I'm not having all my friends buttfuck you, cum in your vapid ass, and post up vids online. Now get out of here."
disposable_pants 7y ago
Awful reply. Absolutely nothing good can come of that -- it's the same as throwing a tantrum.
Forcetobereckonedwit 7y ago
My experience has been different than yours. I'm assuming you are speaking from experience. I often find that calling them out in a sharp and demeaning tone wakes them up for a moment or two.
disposable_pants 7y ago
It doesn't matter what it does to them. Even if they react positively to it (which is extremely unlikely if you don't know them well and just plain-old unlikely even if you do) the rest of the group will think you're an asshole. And if everyone thinks you're an asshole, for all intents and purposes they're right.
Think as you like, behave like others.
Forcetobereckonedwit 7y ago
I still hold to my statement and disagree with your groupthink attitude. I think that kind of behavior has gotten us in the sad state of affairs we're in now. I very much like your last however, when you're not in a position to rock the boat.
"Think as you like, behave like others. "
truthyego 7y ago
No dude, absolutely wrong. Most people are stupid and obeying cultural programming like feminism. Sometimes the only person doing anything to help them is hated and reviled.
Public opinion doesn't mean shit except for times when you need or want something from the group. The kind of group think you're talking about that tries to bend reality to public opinion is how we got to this state in the first place
disposable_pants 7y ago
So, for instance:
If you act like the asshole no one wants to be friends with, you're going to miss out on the many benefits of having friends. You can't wait until you need something from them to turn on the charm; you have to not be an asshole (and I'm talking about a real asshole, not someone who's brash and irreverent) the vast majority of the time.
TRP isn't about changing the world. It's about how to be successful within the world as it exists.
truthyego 7y ago
Right, but just because some group of people thinks something, does not make it true. You said that if a group of people thinks ur an asshole, that you are.
Lots of groups out there with differing opinions
disposable_pants 7y ago
No, I said:
The point is that it doesn't matter if you're the second coming if everyone -- even just everyone in your local group of friends -- thinks you're an asshole. If you're an asshole in the eyes of people you care about, you're going to suffer the consequences no matter how you personally think of your behavior.
Think as you like, but behave like others. This is basic stuff.
poopcasso 7y ago
Fucking awesome post man, enjoyed it a lot.
[deleted] 7y ago
Funny, I've always done this, but it's how they treat service staff.
i do like how you have it go the other way. She doesn't want sex... with you, as the standard deadbedroom trope.
in this case, she's only a bitch... to you.
h8tersgonnah8 7y ago
You contradict yourself several times. I think you kinda hit on the point that if she thinks you are a loser and the next one will too... Maybe then its time to work on that loser part of yourself. You keep saying all women this and that. Kiss your mom with that mouth? Just because you feel confused sometimes about womens behavior dosent mean all men feel confused.
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stingrayxx 7y ago
Well not if you try out some bananas instead of peaches ;)
audscias 7y ago
No thanks. You keep your banana in your pants.
[deleted] 7y ago
Broad strokes, but I'd say this also applies to friends as well. If your friends treat you like shit and are supremely nice to strangers, wake up, you're the beta. And they think you can't walk away. So get up and walk.
chrisindub 7y ago
Just have a low tolerance threshold for behavior like that.
Respond with cold, distance and become scarce.
It's basic conditioning 101.
Get a book on how to train a puppy, same principles.
[deleted] 7y ago
Great insight. One of the reasons I keep reading TRP because I don't want to eventually become that guy with the defeated look on his face while his wife or girlfriend nags, bitches and berates him in public.
RedMoonAscendant 7y ago
It definitely works for that. I think Archwinger describes my first LTR perfectly, and is the opposite of my current (post-TRP) LTR.
TRP makes everything better between a man and a woman.
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RPFlame 7y ago
This advice is so powerful in so many other contexts, I'm not sure if /u/Archwinger knows it and simply opted to focus on relationships only for the sake of understanding.
Career? Fuck yes, have options, be good at what you do automatically makes you desirable. Have you seen software companies and what they do to keep their talent happy? At Google they even placed playgrounds, basketball courts, even free beverages and food in the premises, so that they are sure to keep their engineers right where they want.
It even happens in fucking restaurants or stores. Become the frequent and there's a chance the owner will start serving you with qualitatively worse food than before. Smaller portions, delayed order. You are a frequent now, he doesn't have to focus on keeping you around. Very few shops actually give more fucks on satisfying the frequent - you can see them in the movies!
It also works with "friends" (using quotes because I'm talking about acquaintance type of friends, not friendships endured through time). The biggest slap in the face moment about that came to me when I was in middle school, when my supposed buddy turned around and told me "but we don't need you, you need us" and back then I felt like he's a giant asshole. Too bad it took me years to figure out what he meant, I was that much of an idiot.
Long story short, acting as if you have options won't work for long. You have to have the characteristics that makes people go "this isn't just an act, he can stop coming if he wanted to". It's more than just changing your demeanor, you have to embody abundance mentality, otherwise people will see through your bluff. And for that to happen you need to put hard work in every aspect of your life. Until you get there, people will always treat you as if you're faking it, with all that this means.
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[deleted] 7y ago
It's not a fight though. I fight with peers... I handle my kids. And that's what she is.
Treating this as a real fight gives the implication of equality. I'm not ready to give my spouse that luxury... I may shut it down, i may fuck with her for my own amusement. i sure as fuck am not treating her like an arch nemesis
CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 7y ago
I'm keeping this and claiming I came up with it.
polakfury 7y ago
How do you keep up your high level of dread game yourself?
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[deleted] 7y ago
It all boils down to whether you're perceived as having other options, even if you don't. Options as in dumping them for someone else. Remind them of recently divorced and now single mutual female friends. I am even so bold as to mention my wife's sister who is now single after a 30 year marriage. I have been with my wife for 30 years also. Women change their behavior instantaneously when they realize you have other options.
polakfury 7y ago
From where though specifically ?
"Despite what they claim, most women do not care at all that a man is married" Wow that bad?
"I'm also what people would call an alpha, " How would you describe yourself in detail in relation to this Alpha bit?
"I was trying to be a nice guy she pretty much kicked my teeth in" What were some personal examples?
setzer_ 7y ago
Great post archwinger. I know comments like these don't bring any real value to the discussion but I like to express my gratitude
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Gross_Guy 7y ago
I experienced a relationship where this really hits me. My girl and I were happy we were in love and I had my shit together. But I got too comfortable, too lax. She shit all over me knowingly. That's what really fucking gets me. She knowingly was such an evil bitch to me and knew just how to personally destroy me. It took time and isolation but I'm coming back now. I've been maintaining my weight, working out and bettering myself constantly. I didn't let it crush me or get fat and complacent from it. Fuck man, reading this just makes me feel the sadness from her again. But I'm not afraid. I can face it now and I keep it as personal experience for future endeavors
cosine88 7y ago
That part is pretty straightforward. Work hard, lift, run, do your thing.
This is the hard part, and communicating how to do it over text on TRP is really hard. This needs its own youtube video, Elliott Hulse style, except he's not machiavellian enough to make that video.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
If you ever feel like nine tenths of the problems and stresses in your life stem from the women in it, then the solution is more women. I know it seems like the exact opposite of what you would need, but most antivenoms are themselves toxic.
TomFoo 7y ago
Post-sex morning-after rush after banging a new partner all night is amazing.
[deleted] 7y ago
You know, it's really funny. Sixty years ago, our society told men to be open books, to be nice, kind, and basically good. Treat a woman reasonably well if she's showing you some interest. If she shows you interest, you show her some back. In other words, you should not be a "stranger". You should be showing her intimacy. You should be intimate, as in close to her, as in demonstrating your relationship bona fides, as in uniting your life with hers, and her with you.
That's how you attract a woman in 1956.
Now, none of that is attractive. None of that works to get a woman interested in you.
Now, if you want a woman interested in you, you do the opposite. You wall yourself off from her, don't tell her anything about yourself, keep her at arm's length. Keep secrets from her, don't let her in on what you think or how you feel.
And be something of a bad man. Not bad as in criminal; but bad as in you could just up and leave at any minute. Not assholish, but sometimes DGAF, sometimes slightly rude, sometimes offering her a little kindness here and there. Give her just enough to keep her guessing about what you'll say or do. Be unpredictable, secretive, mysterious. If she shows you some interest, you show her some back, sometimes. Most times you act as if you don't care, or that it's cool and kind of nice, but doesn't really register with you.
You treat her no better than that secretary at work who you know only by first name and is cute enough for you to notice but not cute enough for you to really care all that much about. You treat her no better than most other people you know.
So, now, to attract a woman to you, you do have to be something of a stranger. You're not close to her. You're not intimate with her. You're not interweaving your lives together. You're keeping your lives separate and apart, because at any moment you might up and leave, never to be seen or heard from again.
You keep her at arms length. You don't share things with her. You don't give her things, you don't tell her things. You're not showing her any kind of good faith, because she doesn't really expect it and would piss on it if you did.
That's how you attract a woman in 2016.
sd4c 7y ago
This is why moving in together is a terrible mistake. It's hard to go to work, earn an honest living by putting in a hard day's work, and be alpha afterward until bedtime. But it can be done, provided you have a couple nights off here and there, to recharge.
Move in together, all that changes. She's bitchy? Won't put out (or goes dead fish on you)? She yells at you? Not much you can do if you live together, because you can't legally kick her out. The closest thing you can do is to stay gone for the night, in which case you're entrusting her with all of your possessions at home: your old family photos, computer, pets, kids even. There is nowhere to retreat.
Moving in together is good for women, because eventually they learn all your weak spots, habits, and have a monopoly on your bedroom space. Bedroom space you'd need to interview any replacements, because having your own crib is a huge boon to any pick-up action. Chicks so seldom have their own place these days- the young (aka attractive) ones almost all have roomates or live with their family. If your gf has boots on the ground in your apartment, she's got you by the balls, and knows it, and will eventually exploit this advantage.
[deleted] 7y ago
I know some here will be proud of their dark triad traits or newfound "badassitude", but self-reflective men that have normal brain wiring and had a good upbringing will tend toward treating a woman as you described in the 50s, even without strong conditioning (hard to test, I know). This is somewhat independent of alphaness. You can have the good, strong, gentleman that is not a pushover but is friendly and kind to people simply because they feel good about doing those things and have genuine empathy. These guys, hopefully, attract a decent LTR that will not require brutish treatment. However, if they are not so lucky, then I don't think they'll be happy being untrue to themselves and purposefully treating someone in a fashion they think is "poor". So, they are opting out. Women as a whole have turned even "good" alphas away from wanting to be have a LTR with them.
I suppose there is some secret sauce where a good guy doesn't have to transgress his own morals and can still have a woman treat him well long term, but I've only seen it a handful of times in modern times.
My hypothesis is this: in ancient times, where we spent most of our time evolving as a species, someone with alpha traits but somewhat kinder disposition could not lead or attain resources for long because another alpha without moral restraint would kill him to take his stuff/position/etc. So, back then, appearing decent and being an alpha was not observed, at least for long. So, women's brain circuitry make the association. It's similar to "why don't more companies act very morally in terms of labor and environmental treatment?" and a part answer is "all such companies are outcompete/bought by their competitors without such constraints".
0_fox_are_given 7y ago
You really don't have to be a bad man. Guys who were nice guys seem to think the opposite is being a fuck face.
In reality you just have to have a bit of back bone and lead.
If you're dependant on her in any way, you're cucked.
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vagbutters 7y ago
Spot on explanation. There was a day and age where beta tendencies meant that you could still get married and have a faithful wife. This was before every wife could fuck twenty Chads before marriage or get her pussy slammed while you are working to support her. Society works well when it punishes a woman's infidelity and general promiscuity.
NietzscheExplosion 7y ago
Of course. We are the product of 2 billion YEARS of this behaviour. How, COMMA, EVER: It doesn't mean we completely regress to animals.
vagbutters 7y ago
I'm genuinely not sure if your English is bad or if you were trying to be clever/emphatic, but "however" is one word.
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Forcetobereckonedwit 7y ago
You got it. It really doesn't matter how lame that is. It is the way it works.
God_Mode_Challenge 7y ago
This is true. I was raised a beta Christian. The idea of being amoral with my sexuality goes against everything I was raised to believe. I know all the RP theory, but can't help feel shame and guilt for "plating". I feel like I'm using them. I know the truth, but the neurological triggers of shameful emotions persist and hold me back from being a full Machiavellian. I would love to find a unicorn that I don't have to treat shit to keep keen, but I have zero expectations of this occurring. Sad.
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God_Mode_Challenge 7y ago
I totally agree. The way I think, and therefore feel, is definitely changing. It's much easier for me to put myself first these days and not get caught up in other peoples shit. But pumping and dumping is the final frontier. I had been taught that woman hate this, but I know the truth is they really enjoy it. Just hits a nerve as its the polar opposite of what I was raised to believe.
Forcetobereckonedwit 7y ago
Makes me very sad too. I wish it was different but the more I pay attention to women's actions over the decades, the more it rings true. Sigh...
TooMuchToDoo 7y ago
My ex-girlfriend was pretty much the polar opposite. Her attachment style was extremely clingy, and in essence she wanted nothing more than to "hide me away" from the rest of the world so that she could have me for herself. I thought she was a keeper, until it was brought to my attention that all of my friends--and I mean all of them-- thought she was a self-centered bitch. Thankfully my friends cared about me enough to prevent me from proverbially shooting myself in the foot, and I ended that relationship.
What does this mean? It means that if you're on the opposite end of the spectrum, where women are so enamoured by your presence, be wary about her behavior. Don't be afraid to ask your friends their raw opinions of her. Listen to how she tells her accounts of interacting with others-- remember, actions speak louder than words. Just as /u/Archwinger said, women can be very different people when they're not interacting with you.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 7y ago
Taking a step back, we can genericize this a bit.
We often note that women are like water, taking the shape of whatever container currently defines their boundaries.
Women aren't people. Women are masks, make-up, clothes, voices, and dances. They're person-like, but not really people. Whoever and whatever is going on around them defines who they are at this minute. Change who's around them, and they become somebody entirely different. They don masks and costumes and dance for whatever crowd is present.
Is there a real person inside, at the very core of that being? Who knows? How can you know? You'll never know if you and she, alone, holding hands, kissing, watching TV, fucking -- is that the real her, or is that just the mask she wears for you? I mean, she sheds it so easily the second somebody else is there. If that was really her, would it be so easy for her to suppress it and change into someone else at the drop of a hat?
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CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 7y ago
Cohabiting is good if you do lots of stuff away from home. It can actually add mystery.
But it means living a restless life.
I recommend joining a private members club or sports club and spending time with men there. Further your career and build network, while building mystery.
Dont tell her where you have been.
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[deleted] 7y ago
What should guys do if their wife/ltr will not let the issue go when you come home from somewhere or leaving to run an errand and you don't tell her? As in, you are going to get groceries and she asks where you're going? Or you come home from the library and she asks you where you went and will not let it go if you answer vaguely?
aleddito 7y ago
I always wanted to do this when i lived with my exgf. I would do that sometimes, going out to do stuff by myself, but most days I'd have to do stuff in my computer, so i couldn't get away. And i don't have that much stuff to do out anyways... Any tips?
Anyways, last few months my project at work got insane, i would leave in the morning and come back home dead tired and very late at night. Few months later she broke up with me out of the blue. Ha.
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Polishrifle 7y ago
Fuck it dude, go to the bar and have a fucking beer.
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[deleted] 7y ago
You need to be careful with "wife material" girls as well. I just dropped one who bought me shit, woke me up with sex regularly, paid for herself when we went out and worshipped the ground I walked on. It's a ruse. None of that was because she loves me, it's to make me love her. That's the trap. Once she has you she'll try to convince you to marry her and/or dump a kid in her, then you lose forever. The only real solution is to cycle them in and out. It keeps you sharp and them competing for your attention. Even the "good" ones.
ApexScorpion 7y ago
Excellent alternate perspective! I kind of had one of those too. Took me so much strength to get away from her. Abundance mentality is so important for this reason. These are the ones that men can't let go of. They fluff you up and then turn cold in an attempt for you to give them something. By that time you should be addicted to them because they've done things here and there that "no other girl will ever do for you again". And of course men believe this.
Its crazy how they can do all of this and still turn cold on you.
D-White 7y ago
I, too, feel trapped in this way.
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[deleted] 7y ago
I fuck other women. Always. I do what I want, she's going to do the same. The door is always open and she's welcome to walk out of it any time.
[deleted] 7y ago
I'm trying to convince my sons of this, but Blue Pill me did a bit too good of a job bringing them up under my Blue Pill wing.
i hope they don't have to lose everything before they learn that they have to play the game by their own rules, or don't play at all.
[deleted] 7y ago
And mom probably paints you as a hedonistic shitbag in your absence. This is a really sore subject for me at the moment. The girl I dumped was dumbfounded. But she did everything right! So did my buddy's ex-wives. This year they both took his kids to opposite ends of the country and filed for increases in child support. He shot himself last week. This shit is not a joke and I really hope you can reach your boys early enough.
mirlalt 7y ago
You gotta deal with that in your own way, and I'm sure we're not getting the whole story with your ex, but currently, words on the screen, there didn't seem to be a NEED to drop her.
Generally the advice here is to simply refuse requests for commitment escalation and if they want to stick with you then they will
[deleted] 7y ago
Chick sent me a pic of the ring she wanted. This was a drop.
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Forcetobereckonedwit 7y ago
Fucking right in the feelz. Ouch. Sorry. Bet the ex wives resent the fact they may have to travel to funerals so the kids can be there...IF...they let "their" children go at all.
[deleted] 7y ago
They were both there and every bit as disrespectful to the occasion as you would expect.
Forcetobereckonedwit 7y ago
I suppose in their estrogen addled minds, "He" failed the ultimate shit test. Again, sorry you lost a friend to this kind of terrorism. It's very painful but I am blessed to have found TRP.
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[deleted] 7y ago
To be fair, he served in the same Corps I did. The USMC, until the last couple years (thanks Obama) is RP as fuck. Every one of your leaders and instructors tells you that all women are unfaithful leeches and that if you should have a wife you would have been issued one. Suzie Rottencrotch, Jodi, dependapotomus, etc. There are so many USMC tropes to warn you. Some don't listen.
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SoRedSuchAlpha 7y ago
Army, Navy, and Air Force leadership are social conservatives of a more genteel type. They respect married men way more than single men. If you're an officer hoping to climb the ranks, you need to get married.
Also, the armed forces give tons of benefits to married couples, especially when it comes to housing. For low-level soldiers, living alone is not an option. If you're married, you can live with your wife; if you're single, you room with other single men in a huge barracks.
[deleted] 7y ago
From day one you are inundated with statements that no one loves you but your mother, your girlfriend is fucking Chad while you're gone and that they will rob you blind. Female Marines are called wookies or WM's (Walking Mattresses). USMC has never minced its words on these things. Official branch stance means nothing in the ranks.
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[deleted] 7y ago
Women don't belong in the workplace.
SwissPablo 7y ago
Comfort is dangerous. Never stand still.
Su-Wu_Red 7y ago
Great post. You just dropped some serious knowledge on us. Thank you.
redfallhammer 7y ago
She should also treat you better than she treats her fucking pets. I've fucking seen that shit.
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trpJK 7y ago
Very insightful and easy to use advice.
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Entropy-7 7y ago
I find that I hold my SO to a higher standard than strangers (or FWBs/plates/ONS/PnD as it goes down the hierarchy) but the measures are much less radical. I won't call out a new date (potential ONS) as quickly as an LTR, but I won't give a hard next to an LTR as quickly as some lesser being.
Women can be like that too in the sense that they will nit pick or bitch at you over smaller and smaller things as your relationship progresses but less likely to throw the relationship in the ashcan until a major blow out.
Is it a question of her being more of a bitch or is she just raising the bar on you. Is there any effective difference?
leftenant_t 7y ago
"Be more like a stranger to her" pretty much means do not engage a LTR.
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leftenant_t 7y ago
They have their game and we have ours. They don't hesitate to play hypergamy so we should be relentless with our polygamy and maximize our self-interest.
Mortos3 7y ago
Yeah all I could think after reading OP's advice was "this kills the LTR."
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Physio_Tool 7y ago
The polarising, black and white nature of most all TRP posts will infect vulnerable men. Most men on this forum use TRP to replace the father figure and mentor they never had and unfortunately if you don't question the source and filter the information everyone else is espousing then it can lead people down the wrong path.
Ill say this: Reality is reality. Sure. Awalt. Sure. But the concerted effort by us on here at TRP leads to nothing less then a life spent on attracting the very thing we seek to avoid. With such a filter built to detect morally repugnant behaviours, everyone is a moving target and everyone is at arms length. Its the life of an escaped convict. Its Edmond Dantes who gives up on humanity after his 'friends' and his woman betray him. But its a foolish Life of paranoid shrewdness. The truth is in the middle and if someone wants an LTR then their are ways to go about it that are win/win but you want find the answer from the overly zealous people still stuck in the anger phase (not saying archwinger is but a lot are)
mirlalt 7y ago
And every shrewd man will never get divorce raped.
harsha_hs 7y ago
Not exactly, even if you're in LTR you can remain a stranger if you don't explain the rationale behind your decisions on simple things and speak very few words and keep walking away from her whenever you get opportunity
leftenant_t 7y ago
Then what's the point of starting that LTR in the first place? That way you would be depriving her from the emotional security she desperately needs. Chances are she would start looking for a BB.
harsha_hs 7y ago
you're not there for her emotional security. She can get it from her female friend or a BB friend(she won't fuck him, I guarantee it). Hang around with this girl only when you're enjoying it. Don't explain rationale behind ur decisions. Being alpha is not being provider to her, you're provider to ONLY yourself.
leftenant_t 7y ago
I see your point but you would be better off with spinning plates than an LTR like this.
harsha_hs 7y ago
As long as u get what u want, u can spin plates or consider an LTR
EdvardMunch 7y ago
I like the part about women who don't shit test being like a dog.
I was with a girl who would perk up and nod her head at suggestions, like a dog. It got so uncomfortable to talk about anything serious because she seemed fine about everything. I got bored, and it felt stupid being with someone who seemed to lack a mind of their own. She never had a concern or a frustration.
Forcetobereckonedwit 7y ago
I had to next a 2 year girlfriend due to an empty head. It was rough. I still wonder if I made a mistake. She was really cute, my "type" of body/look, worshiped the ground I walked on, blah blah blah. IQ of about 90. Extremely trainable. I just had to move on. I need brainpower to get excited by a chick for more than a weekend.
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FLFTW16 7y ago
If your puppy shits on the rug and you smile and pet your puppy and only speak in nice tones, the pup learns to shit on the rug. If, however, when your puppy shits on the rug, you raise your voice, stomp your feet, and shove the pup's nose in its own mess, it will learn that it fucked up and to not shit on the rug again.
Did you set yourself up for failure by not playing with your pup? By not taking it for long walks to expend its energy and shit in the woods and piss on lots of trees and smell the assholes of neighborhood dogs?
Likewise with a woman, set yourself up for success by living a worthwhile life. Take her out for long walks. Fuck her senseless and teach her how to fuck you and please you. Have a quality social group with plenty of female competition so she can smell the neighborhood pussy on you. If, even after all of this, she shits on the rug, you shove her nose into it.
kalo_asmi 7y ago
More accurately, you're looking for a unicorn. AWALT. But certain types of behaviour from females genuinely point to our faults. Learn to distinguish these from run of the mill traits, and you will know exactly what to improve in yourself.
That's my tldr of the post. Thanks OP for the reminder.
CharlesThundercock 7y ago
This post is Gold AW.
When I first stumbled upon TRP and began (clumsily) applying some of what I was learning, my Wife immediately started picking up on the changes, and expressing her concern over them.
"I don't feel comfortable the way I used to. It's like I don't know where I stand with you now."
"Sometimes I'm not sure what you want anymore, or even that I'm what you want anymore."
She'd say something to that effect and it would immediately register with me as a bad thing. I'd rush to the rescue, offering comfort and re-assurance to quickly assuage all doubts of my undying love.
After all, your woman not knowing where she stands with you and having a deeply held internal re-assurance that you'll always be there for her is a bad thing, and bad for your relationship, right?
It's not until you deeply internalize the pill and grasp the true power dynamic at play that you realize that comfort, validation, and assurance are all POWERFUL tools at your disposal. You can, and should, use them to reinforce and maintain your frame. You are a high value man and she is fortunate to have you. Your comfort is a wonderful and valuable thing which should be held and only given to a kind, submissive woman who has earned it.
She doesn't know if she's in your good graces? GOOD, let her work extra hard to get in them.
She doesn't know if that 5 pounds she's picked up has reduced your attraction to her? GOOD, let her pick up the pace on the treadmill to burn them off.
She doesn't know if she's fucking you good or often enough? GOOD, life isn't going to be worse with extra blow jobs now is it?
Your comfort is very much like her sex. Don't be a cheap slut and give it up for free.
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RPsage 7y ago
When an LTR takes an extremely low level of maintenance on top of other benefits you're receiving, it's worth it.
[deleted] 7y ago
It's when a dude wants kids, otherwise there is no point. Don't know any work arounds to this.
returnofthemackX 7y ago
Dude you are everywhere with the knowledge clouded with hate.
wewewawa 7y ago
I'd like to know what country each of these posts are from, and the ethnicity of your spouse. I think there will be a pattern.
Can someone setup a poll or chart?