The original post is at the top of the dating advice sub right now.
I don't think I've ever seen a more perfect example of how a nice guy thinks and how little he understands women.
The date started out well enough for him from the sound of things. They're out getting drinks, she's flirting with him, and when he suggests dropping off his car so that they can drink more she asks to leave her jacket and purse at his place. He gets excited because in his mind it means she's going to spend the night with him. Sounds like everything is going swimmingly. Annnnnd then his blue-pill tendencies kick in and he drops this bomb:
"In an effort to try to feel the situation out (and also an effort to be a decent human being) I told her that if she needed a place to crash, she could sleep at my place without me trying to have sex with her."
So much respect. She must be dripping wet with all the respect he's showing her. What a great guy, right?
He continues on:
"She thanked me and said her legs weren't shaved so it wasn't going to happen anyways and I explained to her that I don't sleep with people for the first time when they are drunk anyways."
Totally understandable. A woman isn't just going to go out of her way and shave her legs before a night out drinking with a new guy. And what kind of monster would have some drinks with a woman then expect to possibly have sex at the end of the night? Only sexual predators, of course.
At least this guy's the life of the party though. Maybe his fun personality will make up for his niceness.
"We had a drink, got in the uber and started making our way downtown. (insert piano music here) Here is where things start to go downhill. I HATE busy bars and clubs. My idea of a good time is drinking a couple bottles of wine at home with a friend or two. Clubs are just loud. You can't talk to anyone and you can't do anything other than having strangers sweat all over you. I didn't tell her this of-course because she loved bars packed with people."
Ok, maybe not...
"As she drank more, she began spending more and more time on her snapchat. This is another thing that bothers me. A few snaps would have been fine but it quickly became a constant thing. And they weren't snaps of us, they were just snaps of her."
As if that wasn't enough to tip this guy off, here's the best part:
"At this point we were only half way through our scheduled bars for the night so after what felt like hours I asked her if she was ready for the next bar but she said she wanted to stay at that club for the rest of the night but I was free to leave and meet up with her again later. She was my date for the night, so of course I opted to not split up. I probably should have though because before long this big guy with a square head walked up to me and asked if she was my girlfriend. I foolishly said 'no' and he proceeded to grab her by the waist and began grinding on her. She was totally into it. So at this point, I didn't want to be the jealous date that breaks it up and I sure as hell couldn't dance with her from the front anymore so I just stood there, dumbstruck, and watched them 'dance'. I swayed back and forth with the music so as to not be the only person standing still on the dance floor."
Not only does he stay when she's already told him to leave in a nice way, he awkwardly "dances" while his date is grinding up on Chad. But that's ok... He puts up with it because he doesn't want to look jealous. That is, until another guy comes up and reminds him of what's taking place right in-front of him:
"I couldn't tell if she liked it or not. A guy came up next to me and asked 'isn't that your girl?'. This snapped me out of my panicked trance and pushed me into action. I put an arm around her waist and locked eyes with squarehead. He backed down and quickly disappeared into the crowd. She seemed disappointed but, to be completely honest, I don't know how she felt about the situation."
It's always a good idea to make sure other guys know she's yours, especially on a first date. Obviously she'll be all over him and eager to make sweet tender love after that display of bravery.
"We danced for a while then left because it was bar close. We silently rode an Uber back to my place at which point she informed me that her roommate had called her another Uber to get home. She took her stuff, said she had a lot of fun, then left. I sat on the couch and had another drink, emotionally exhausted"
Alright, alright, in all seriousness. This is a bummer for the guy, and he made a lot of mistakes. He didn't treat her like a lover; he took sex off the table when she was clearly a little into him because he wanted to look like he respected her; he stayed at the club when she tried to get rid of him; he stood by while she was grinding up on another guy right in-front of him; and he got jealous and claimed her as his own when he sensed the date slipping away. A lot of guys have had moments like this. The movies tells us this is how we should act if we want to get the girl, but as we all know, life isn't a movie. At least this guy learned a valuable lesson, right?
"I don't know what lesson to take from this or how to enterpret the meaning of it but I thought I would get it off of my chest and share it with you guys. I hope I don't come across as too negative or entitled. Thanks for reading this huge mess."