When we discuss men, women, alpha, beta, nice guys and assholes, this sub tends to speak as if these are diametrically opposed, mutually exclusive binary states. But that's not precisely true and this belief will hold you back and make you unhappy.
I'm not gonna turn this into a post about psychology, but there is research that states that depressed individuals tend to speak more in absolute terms such as always, never, all, none etc. I'm sure you recognize this phenomenon here on TRP, it's even in our motto, AWALT. It's no secret that a lot of the guys on here are unhappy because of their experiences and the state of society today. It's understandable, but do you really want to model your view of the world after someone who is absolutely miserable?
Binary thinking limits you, it makes you miss subtle nuances and it also makes the world you inhabit a miserable black and white place where everyone who is not your friend is your enemy. You should avoid this at all costs. There is a nearly unlimited amount of information and you can only process so much. If you look for the signs that all women are out to get you then you can easily find more than enough information to back up this idea.
Just as you are an individual, so are the people around you, and yes, this includes women. I'm not saying that you should go hunt for a magic unicorn, in fact I think you shouldn't. What I am saying is that you should put a little more effort into understand the people around you, men and women, and your relationships. Don't automatically go to the heuristics and maxims of TRP to explain your experiences. Many people will live up to the stereotypes we throw around here, maybe even most. For some it will be a partial fit, but for some, dare I say it, it will not fit at all.
Furthermore, some of these categories are not always mutually exclusive. For example, alpha and beta; it is possible to provide the assertiveness and raw sexual attraction of an alpha while also providing the caring and providing qualities of the beta in one individual. As an upside, this will confuse women because they won't be able to put a finger on your true nature. You defy all stereotypes, which is immensely intriguing to them.
Just like the 'nice guys', who are obviously both betas and assholes (when they don't get what they want, which they don't, because they are weak), it is possible to be an assertive alpha without also being an asshole. Example: I forbid my girlfriend from eating sugary snacks like ice cream. She thinks this is because she is getting fat (she's not, because I make her eat healthy), and gets upset. Instead of amplifying this and invoking some dread, I assure her that it's because I want her to live a long and healthy life with me, and that I also don't eat ice cream despite working out 6 times a week and not running any risk of becoming fat.
Of course, I care more about her physical shape than her health and longevity. But I don't want to be a manipulative asshole and cause her more psychological anguish than necessary, so I frame my subtle manipulations in a more positive light. I'm still assertive and dominant, and I assure you that she's eating out of the palm of my hands and begging for my dick several times a day, but I don't need to be an asshole to do it. Of course, if she's out of line I will set her straight, but I'm never mean about it because I don't have to be, nor do I want to. She likes that I check her when she's acting out and that I sometimes tell her what to do, because she knows I am older and wiser than her. She is attracted to dominance and assertiveness, not cruelty and abuse.
There is a place for the alpha/beta and the nice guy/asshole stereotypes, but they are just that. Stereotypes. They are heuristics to allow us to quickly make snap judgements and communicate an archetype that we all instantly recognize in an efficient manner. It's a tool for communication and fast initial judgements, NOT a complete model for understanding or explaining reality in it's awesome complexity. Don't fall into the trap of binary thinking, or you and those around you will suffer for it.
In closing, I'm not sure what I should flair this. Leaving the decision to the mods or any suggestions in the comments.
kylerosa21 5y ago
I have been finding this to be true recently.
I view alpha and beta as a spectrum. Being completely alpha is basically Dark Triad, and being completely beta is Blue Pill. Red Pill leans more to the alpha side of the spectrum. The reason i say it is a spectrum is because there is always some sort of beta characteristics in each and every person, and is needed in each and every person.
There are moments in relationships where you need forced beta characteristics to increase the relationship’s longevity. Being always alpha is not conducive to anything long-term, but helps get you there. The most redpilled men do in fact have some beta characteristics and apply them as needed and only when they know that it won’t affect their frame with the woman.
liizzsar 5y ago
Says a person who's very obviously never truly loved another human being.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
If that's true you should probably feel bad for me instead of chastising me.
DeeplyDisturbed1 5y ago
I posted something very similar about a year ago here (different profile) and it got shat upon mightily. Must have been my timing.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Yeah tbh I thought this was gonna be buried at best.
It might be a sign that TRP is becoming more mainstream. As it's becoming less of a fringe community it makes sense to see a kind of watering down of some of the more radical stances people take on here.
If so, I think that's a good thing. Everyone needs TRP, and it's the best antidote for the scourge of feminism.
Alpha_Jedi 5y ago
The world isn't a binary place. Sure is black and white, but there's a lot of grey in between. SJW's love to think in binary.
pabz_is_keww 5y ago
Definitely agree. Most sentiments on TRP are 90% directionally accurate but it seems like some dudes on here have been hurt so much by women that they are truly hateful towards them.
SpaceEnthusiast 5y ago
I'm convinced that this kind of binary thinking is a necessary step TOWARDS nuance. Let me explain. When you've been BP all your life, it's hard to have a nuanced view, because any of your views will be near the BP side of the spectrum. When you find out the RP part of the spectrum, you latch on for dear life, because it gives you so much new information about women and life. And now you separate things into BP and RP. But now you have a lot more informational power. You've found out what the extremes can be, or at least the near-extremes. It is NOW that you are capable of proper nuance, because everything is contained in between.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
That's a very interesting point. While I wouldn't say it's always necessary, I'm sure that it helps to see both extremes. That way you experience first hand how none of them are perfectly congruent with reality.
SpaceEnthusiast 5y ago
Yea. I went from my first relationship, which was very long term, to having a lot of ONS and plates, both of which are extreme situations. Now I'm settling into a more middle ground of having 1-2 great girls with me and a ONS here and there on the side. By exploring the extremes, you can find what balance works for you best.
Theseus_The_King 5y ago
This needed to be said so badly.
rapeturd2006 5y ago
Holy shit. You should get a t-shirt with that on it. It'll be bigger than "do you even lift bro?".
TRP has some (some) good advice, but like all reddits, is filled with retards that say stupid shit like this totally un-ironically.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
It's a bit wordy for a t-shirt, don't you think?
El_Shakiel 5y ago
Want ideas for a t-shirt ? Just browse his reddit history.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Wow, that was a weird one. The internet huh, what a ride man.
thebluesSV 5y ago
Thanks for the post I really needed this, I was already starting to feel miserable seeing awalt everywhere to confirm my own bias.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
No problem. All women are not like that, but you should not assume you can find one of the exceptions. Plan for the worst and don't be surprised if things go south. Then you won't be bitter either. Have fun and realize that most things end.
Koryphae_ 5y ago
Plan for the worst i.e. AWALT...
The acronym does not mean every woman WILL cheat.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
The meaning behind the acronym is obscure and if you ask 100 RP:ers you will get 100 different responses. The wording, however, is very clear and absolutist. This post isn't really about AWALT, that's just a natural example to use in this sub.
But yeah, I agree and your interpretation is obviously similar to mine.
SemiLoquacious 5y ago
Binary combination can be used to your advantage.
Like if a genie was going to give you wishes. If he gave you three, lots of people would probably throw away two wishes with desires of luxury, then hold back on the third wish for a while. If he gave you one, then many people would wish for one thing and still desire another wish.
But a genie that gives two wishes gives the most. To the typical mind, an opportunity of two wishes would tune into a person's natural binary thinking patterns, so they'd make two wishes complimenting each other.
And for a practical example of binary thinking being useful, next time you go to a job interview and the employer says "do you have any questions?", you ask two questions. Ask the first which you had planned out, then ask one which expands. You'll impress the boss, you'll pull it off naturally, and save yourself if the first question came off wimpy.
The_Lightskin_Wonder 5y ago
This needs to be sidebarres and put into the introductory. You will never grasp TRP if you don't learn the middle ground, and knowing when to differentiate an excuse from an actual circumstance you will stay in the anger phase.
People come here and become more depressed because of how frustrating the truths are and use the "truths" to explain there frustrations. It is what it is, If what women do angers you ; you haven't swallowed the pill.
If you explain a girl rejecting you as being a bad person then you're in the anger phase. We say AWALT because a lot of people in here will make exceptions when they shouldn't, lighten up and embrace TRP.
bipedalsentient 5y ago
people who fall into binary categories or make themselves out to be in one, are people who don't know themselves yet.
helloseven 5y ago
Read in to psychopaty and borderline narcisistic disorder. Seek help. There are ways to cope and deal with this. Remember, you are not alone.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
You're in the wrong sub. Also, no, there are no ways of dealing with psychopathy.
helloseven 5y ago
Who are you to tell me if i’m in the wrong place. Oh wait.
ToryTosh1922 5y ago
Great post.
As someone with Aspergers, I know a weakness of mine is that I tend to take things too literally. I've been working on this throughout the past year by rejecting simplistic black and white thinking unless I absolutely have to use it i.e. identifying a red flag and instead focusing on nuance and depth.
I have to admit it has made my life happier. I perceive everyone as a potential ally rather than the incel mindset that the whole world is out to get me.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Yeah, that's an even bigger issue with women since you should never listen to their words and always try to perceive the intent or emotion behind it. I used to do it too, but you learn.
Being a bit more forgiving in your interpretation of the world is difficult and sometimes you get stuff wrong, but I think it's ultimately a happier path than the safer, more cynical one.
Luckyluke23 5y ago
great post man i learnt alot thanks :)
Matacks607 5y ago
Yes, as true as the whole AWALT thing seems through observation it's still an absolute. I prefer to think AWALT really only applies to a women's mating tendency and not necessarily her humanity as a whole. So it's just one aspect of one of her behaviors. Her other behaviors, including how she conducts herself in her personal and professional life are entirely human. She's only animal when it comes to mating. I think of them as day walkers like in the movie blade. They can be both human and vampire.
[deleted]
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Well look at the balls on this one. Not to rain on your parade but someone made that exact same comment already.
[deleted]
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Listen captain Save-a-hoe, I think you're in the wrong sub. This is TRP and we don't do white knighting or moralizing here. Maybe you should fuck off back to safe-space reddit where you'll find some ideas more in line with your feminine sensibilities.
[deleted]
Razkolol 5y ago
Yea it's becoming dangerous for icecream companies if op continues his rampage, sales are already dropping fast.
Razkolol 5y ago
He's an asshole for not letting the girl transform herself into a big sack of unfuckable fat, yea, such a deepshit, he's helping her maintain her fitness level and beauty, he should let her live the way she wants to, eating mcdonalds and icecream, such a manipulative asshole. Irony apart if more guys did this there would be more hot fit chicks around, your beta ways are destroying the smp bro, you're letting your girls get fat ruining them for the rest of us.
[deleted]
Razkolol 5y ago
There are certain rules and boundaries that you need to set, if you don't you'll end up with a fat ugly bitch bossing you around, but hey maybe that's what you want, everyone is different.
As for the forcing part I didn't see OP mentioning any beating or punishment for non-compliance (which could easily be done if you open the bdsm door xD) so I don't see why you're getting so white knighty, OP's girl won't suck your dick for defending her, sorry.
[deleted]
Razkolol 5y ago
You talk about manipulation but 99% of the time women are the ones manipulating, usually for material benefit, "x did y for my friend, you never do y for me" "x bought y for my friend, i could use y you know", this results in material benefit for the girl, what did op do again? Manipulated her into not becoming a fat pig, you lack so much logic that i'm starting to think you're female.
edit: I'll stop here, your argument is "manipulation is wrong mkay?" mine is "results > means" we're not gonna agree, I think that op is doing good manipulating chicks into becoming fit, i like to see more fit chicks around, fit chicks > fat chicks; you think we should be able to live in a utopia with unicorns dancing around and that people are equal and all the left wing narrative. World has a lot more problems than OP not letting his gf become a fat pig, wanna make the world a better place, volunteer, help starving people in Africa, donate to charity, don't bring bullshit moralizing lectures founded on garbage here.
Treanwreck 5y ago
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes." - Obi Wan Kenobi
one_eyed_zoro 5y ago
The irony of that statement is that it is an absolute. Beyond that, I actually like the Sith Code from the novels.
Peace is a lie, there is only passion. (This line teaches that we are always driven by base passions of needs & wants as well as the emotional responses to life)
Through passion, I gain strength. (This line teaches us that we must understand and harness our passions to preserver through obstacles and challenges we face)
Through strength, I gain power. (This line teaches that once you have the ability to turn your passions into strength, you will have the power to create change in your life)
Through power, I gain victory. (This line teaches that applying your power to your life, you can create lasting change and get what you want from life)
Through victory, my chains are broken. (This line teaches that by taking charge of our lives and changing it to get what we want, we are longer bound by what others want for us or our own internal limitations. This line is probably the most RP as it can be taken to mean breaking free of BP thinking)
The Force shall free me. (This line teaches that our will and our minds are capable of freeing ourselves is we wield it. We must be aware, understand, and apply all that we learn in order to break free)
Jedi are a prime example of BP thinking. They are always trying to please the Republic and being its white knight. They suppress their own desires and needs to serve others.
Treanwreck 5y ago
Holy shit. Never thought about that, they even have the light saber colors lol
[deleted]
TheDevilsAdvokaat 5y ago
This is true in general about life. People love binary categorisations for everything, especially causes - but for complex things there are often complex causes. People are attracted to the simplicity of binary (It's nature! No it's nurture!) and often are misled into trying to shoebox things into it.
People prefer not to deal with complexity, and some people are actually incapable of it.
adam-l Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Actually, there are two kinds of people. Those who love binary categorisations for everything, and those who don't.
[deleted]
anon35201 5y ago
This phenomenon rears its head in computer programming. There is a multiple choice test that can be given to a student as they begin a pursuit of computer programming. https://blog.codinghorror.com/separating-programming-sheep-from-non-programming-goats
It establishes whether or not the person will be physically able to contribute to the field of computer science after a decade of practice. The test has high information gain, meaning the test captures something of the human mind that separates programmers from non programmers. The questions are of a nature that lure the reader into using the kind of ancient brain binary thinking that humans use by default to stay alive in the jungle 800 thousand years ago. The educational system teaches binary categories in all school classes using pre-industrial assembly-line school system ideologies.
The point is, we're living in a universe that is made of spacial fields, there is no such thing as categories anywhere in this universe. Heck, there's no such thing as "things", there is no object permanence anywhere, only probabilities. Future and past are two gradient fields stretching out in two polar directions from one field. It's all gradients from negative infinity to positive infinity. One exception is the imaginary realm of boolean algebra and numbers, discrete mathematics and set theory, where human brains prefer to operate.
You can see this phenomenon much pronounced in people who have lost most of the real estate inside their minds, the mentally disabled, the very elderly, people who hit their head and are running on 10% to 30% of the cognitive horsepower they had before. You talk to them about something, and you get this distinct feeling that you're talking to a speak and spell.
the... dog.... says.................... woof woof. All Object W has property P. AWALT. The brain that derives an automatic repulsion whenever a category is linked via hashmap to a value pair is the one that has what it takes to drill down and be a programmer.
Psychocist 5y ago
Ironically, on the binary nature vs nurture assertion.. Programmers are not born. Any human brain with enough brain-cells has what it takes to drill down and be a programmer. Think of the incredible complexity involved in basic language and communication. We're built to think on these abstract levels.
I've been a self-taught programmer for the last 8 years. Contracted, full-time, building my own software business.. nothing special about any of this. If you can think logically on different levels of abstraction you can be a programmer. Perhaps the focus on logic is what keeps most women away :P
Fyrjefe 5y ago
I love your reply. You speak as a person who not only observes reality but is in love with what it is and what it can be. This sort of passion will take someone a long way. This is all paramount to working towards your mission.
[deleted]
TheDevilsAdvokaat 5y ago
Funnily enough, I'm a computer programmer.
anon35201 5y ago
Computer programmers are over represented as the thoughtful and cerebral beta males, so this this sub is a lightning rod for such people. You ask first how you can be of service and use machinery of higher mind to service the larger tribe. Code monkey have big warm fuzzy secret heart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYodWEKCuGg
We're entering the age of the beta male rebellion to tyrannical alphas, manifest though redpill and Trump's MAGA and Qanon, the DNA based pendulum phenomenon described here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdQpLDm6c0w
I see push back though, type alpha beta redpill stuff on youtube, you get blasted in the face with new dysfunctional family beta male feminine imperative programming. The people who have something to lose are throwing sand into the gears.
TheDevilsAdvokaat 5y ago
Yes. There was a fascinating article recently about hypergamy gone wild - Norway,. I think? And they found the bottom x% of males had been rejected by women completely...they were still being used to PAY for females via tax though.
anon35201 5y ago
At some point in the last 200 years, the western cultural experiment that said allow women to get educations, take any job they wanted, the right to own property or objects, invest in any hard or liquid asset, choose their husband, and have the right to engage in politics and vote is something brand new under the sun that had unintended consequences. This western secular ideology goes against 3500 years of laid down tradition and cultural technology. Europe is a sign of things to come in America.
Western secular ideologies are manifesting a cultural disease now that is causing birth rate to fall so far below replacement that the political ruling classes fear it's going to threaten their bid at maintaining levels of dominion over their world. So the knee jerk solution is to make up manpower quotas by importing uneducated Muslims from parts of the world where Islamic State still has an indominatable male patriarchy, where each fertile women has between 8 and 15 children. Islamic State has their baby factories at full tilt. Women have nothing to do but twiddle their thumbs if they don't procreate all the time. Give that a few hundred years and Muslims will outnumber Americans 1 million to one. Importing Muslim fighters to America is like a vaccine. A little preview of Islamic Terror wakes up the immune system.
MGTOW is an attempt to remedy the disease. Destroy marriage as an institution, the Christian Church designed marriage under a very different set of ideologies that are no longer in effect. So it's like a car engine with too many parts removed, the engine isn't putting out, and so starving out the input feed to the system forces a redesign: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=9&v=nO6sjWnc1rs
TheDevilsAdvokaat 5y ago
Yes, this seems to be exactly what is happening.
TRP is a reaction against women "gaming" the dating/ sexual system.
MGTOW is a reaction against women "gaming" our culture.
Psychocist 5y ago
It's strange. I'm used to dealing with complexity in a very conscious way (been programming for almost a decade) and yet I catch myself in binary thinking with regards to many things. I see it as different levels of distinction. If the only terms I know are nature vs nurture, I have no choice but to think in those terms (at least when communicating). Linguistic relativity I think it's called.
Considering humans engage in great deals of complexity when translating images to sounds and deciphering meaning from sounds to then translate back into images to process in the brain as they communicate with each other.. who are these people who are incapable of dealing with complexity? Seems to me even people of below average intelligence are capable of dealing with great amounts of complexity.
TheDevilsAdvokaat 5y ago
I've been programming about 40 years (yes, I'm that old)
In fact, I remember programming my first computer - the educ8 - with dip switches. No mouse or keyboard or even a monitor.
The "display" was 8 leds arranged in a line; so you could see the contents of a byte at a time. Ripping stuff...
Memory was 256 bytes. Each location could store an operand OR data; it depended on how you used it.
I remember writing a program that added numbers together, but pretty soon the sinclair programmable calculator came out and I got into that instead... that was the beginning of a long journey....Vic 20, commodor 64, amiga, ti99, the beeb.. I can't actually remember them all. (ummm...an apricot was in there somewhere too. Someone thought that would be a cool name for a computer that was intended to challenge apple. Hilariously enough the monitor was amber coloured (like an apricot). I think there may have been a peach too....)
There are different levels of complexity, plus there are a lot of complex things (Like processing vision) that are done without conscious thought. But conscious thought seems more difficult and requires more control...people who are perfectly capable of kicking a ball or shooting a gun might struggle with vectors or quaternions even though they seem to be using them unconsciously to guide their motions.
So I wonder then what is it about conscious thought that requires more processing power than unconscious thought? I suspect it's because unconscious thought is to some extent "laid down in the hardware' (IE the brain, in structures and subnetworks that have evolved over aeons) whereas conscious thought is all software.
So take for example ray tracing. Do it solely on the cpu (IE conscious thought) and there is a signicifcant performance decrease compared to say using a gpu (Specialised structures or connections in the brain)
So...yes, they can, but they're using algorithms/ hardware that was gifted to them from previous generations / species.
Psychocist 5y ago
Kudos! I thought I had it hard in the beginning. I wish I could have watched the industry unravel over the last 40 years.
A journey is a great way to describe it. I always feel like programming hijacked my attention. Sometimes I wonder how I get paid to have so much fun. Is a hard ride to get off! Always something to learn and improve.
Good point RE differences in consciously managed complexity and unconscious complexity. I think that's about right, but I would expand and say this "hardware" is not just built up over aeons. For example, I'm sure there are plenty complex things you do in programming without conscious thought simply because of how many times you've done them - they've become habits, have formed grooves in your thinking, etc, same goes for vision and writing and talking and walking and any other ostensibly complex task we've simply come to handle through exposure.
Unconscious thought is simply the brain running on autopilot so it doesn't have to waste energy processing every last piece of information that comes flooding into our senses. We have to be unconscious about most things.
I think we're approaching the nature vs nurture and fixed vs growth mindset debates. I am very much of the strong opinion that nature provides the base materials to almost everyone (perhaps notably differing through gender and intelligence), and that we can largely determine how to use those base materials to achieve many levels of ability. As you say, there are different levels of complexity - so we'd have to specify the kind of programming. But I'll forever stand by research done on brain plasticity that anyone with the base materials can handle many degrees of complexity. In general terms of programming (control flow, logic, data structures, etc) I don't think there is any special kind of impenetrable complexity the average person cannot handle; they just don't want to (most people are lazy-minded). In contrast, there are definite areas of complexity (eg theoretical maths) that some brains simply don't have the intelligence reserves to handle at all.
TheDevilsAdvokaat 5y ago
"I am very much of the strong opinion that nature provides the base materials to almost everyone (perhaps notably differing through gender and intelligence)"
It's a lovely thought that speaks well of your inner desire for fairness, and I would like it to be true, but I don't think it is. Just like our physical size, physical strength etc there's quite a bit of variation between individuals.
Brain plasticity is interesting but these things are really on the frontier of science and what we "think" about them changes - for example I think it was only 10 or 15 years ago that they discovered that the adult brain can grow new neurons; until then the accepted wisdom was that it can't. I expect many more surprises in store but then again so does everyone.
Basically, just as people physically come in a whole range of sizes, speeds and strengths and colours, so too do their mental capacities differ. It's a lovely thought - very egalitarian - to think that we may all start off with a clean and equal slate but it's objectively untrue. For example as well as being physically handicapped some people are mentally handicapped too. These are just gross and obvious variations though; as you said in your earlier post there's a whole range of graduation from those who are far less capable than an average person to those who are far more, intellectually and physically. it's not a comfortable thing to think that not all children are equal (I wish it wasn't true) but I've always preferred truth to comforting fiction.
One of the things i think of sometimes is this:
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal"
The declaration of Independence is flawed because it's based on wishes rather than reality.
I would say that it's self evident that all men are NOT created equally, either physically or mentally or financially or legally.
The problem is, if we admit that not all men are created equally, that brings us to the question of why are we treating them equally...and that's such a can of worms they preferred not to open it.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Unconscious thought is faster, because it requires no deliberation, but sometimes less accurate. If a man is walking towards you with a smile and hands raised he is a friend, but if he is snarling and running he is a foe and you should strike before he does. The price for not acting in time is potentially being killed, while the price for acting in error is less severe. You can't have both speed and accuracy, generally, as with all things, one thing has to be sacrificed for the benefit of the other.
There's a very interesting book about conscious vs unconscious thought called Thinking: Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman. If you haven't read it I highly recommend it.
TheDevilsAdvokaat 5y ago
I think I've encountered it before (possibly excerpts though) and it was very good.
And yes, in the past speed of thought was more important than depth. These days though the ability to think in depth or creatively can be richly rewarding - both in the personal sense and the financial sense. The more our society evolves the more important depth becomes as opposed to speed.
Thanks for the reminder though I might try rereading it.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
It's interesting to think about whether we'll eventually evolve past our unconscious minds into something that's primarily conscious, analytical and rational, kind of like Spock from Star Trek.
There's actually a very interesting story about a guy who lost the ability to make emotional decisions due to brain trauma. Eventually he stopped functioning, because he analyzed trivial things like "should I pick blue or black ink to sign this contract" for ever and couldn't get anything done. He'd get stuck for hours in the cereal aisle trying to make the optimal breakfast purchase, comparing price, weight, texture, taste, nutritional value etc.
TheDevilsAdvokaat 5y ago
"It's interesting to think about whether we'll eventually evolve past our unconscious minds into something that's primarily conscious, analytical and rational, kind of like Spock from Star Trek."
There's a guy who appears to have the ability to actually program his mind consciously...Daniel Tammet.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Tammet
He undertook a challenge to become fluent in Finnish (a famously difficult language) in a week - and at the end of a week was able to be interviewed in Finnish. He passed the challenge.
Do you know the name of the guy you mentioned? I'd like to look him up.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Wow, that's really cool. Gonna look into that guy more closely.
I think his name was never publicly revealed because it turned out to ruin his life completely. But there's a radio program about it where I believe they interview one of the doctors who treated him IIRC. Very interesting stuff but they don't go into depth about the neuroscience behind it unfortunately, if you're into that stuff.
https://www.wnycstudios.org/story/91642-overcome-by-emotion/
TheDevilsAdvokaat 5y ago
Thanks for the link, I'm going to read!
And yes, Daniel is a fascinating person and I wish I was as smart as he is.
magx01 5y ago
It all starts with parents/parenting.
Fyrjefe 5y ago
TRP definitely functions as a surrogate father figure. Because of the collapse of the family, many young men haven't had a masculine role model to teach these dynamics. As another has mentioned in this thread, the delivery here has to be blunt and proscribed so that young men can learn about archetypes again. Only with observation, practice, and time can society change and reorder itself.
ChrimsonChin988 5y ago
Yes ultimately nothing is black and white. The reason why people on this sub tend to “exaggerate” is to make things more clear, especially for newbies.
Understanding the nuances of TRP is the ultimate goal. However as many of us started with BP thinking, which is one “extreme” let’s define it as white for this example. To be able to understand the nuances, which are in the grey area, you first must understand the other side of the spectrum as well; black. Black is TRP.
Only when you’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum you will be able to see the nuances and achieve maximum potential. You can’t go from BP to understanding the nuances, you must go RP first.
Therefore, we tend to exaggerate things on this sub because, remember that, ultimately you have to read between the lines. To put very nuanced points and concepts into words and make it understandable is extremely difficult, that’s why we show the extreme points of the spectrum.
Tldr; You can’t learn and experience the nuances/middle ground unless you’ve seen and experienced the extreme parts of the spectrum (BP/RP).
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
I agree with this and if we are choosing between extremes then red (black?) is certainly the lesser of evils. You have to learn the rules before you break them.
But nuance is good too, and it's an area where I believe this sub sometimes comes up short.
Born2flip 5y ago
Very rational and intelligent post.
[deleted]
terryboyyy 5y ago
You kind of solved this shit in my head I’ve had for a while
Zech4riah 5y ago
This is something I base my comments most of the time. Usually I'm labeled as a beta, bluepilled, purple pilled or cuck but I don't care because I totally agree with this:
My own experiences don't support binary version of AWALT. Not especially here where I live because the girls aren't nearly as slutty as in US.
redpilldick 5y ago
5 year member with inaction, 6 months of effort starting this year, and I find myself in an LTR with a girl who has ZERO red flags. Thanks for this post
fukdembitches 5y ago
Exactly.
However, feminism lacks the necessary intellectual depth to comprehend nuance or provide a logical basis. Most feminists cannot even come up with a uniform definition of what is feminism.
Modern feminism is a contradictory nebulous mess. To mask this, feminists define their arguments in nothing binaristic orthodoxy to justify their infantile dismissal all counterarguments as sexist or misogynistic.
Modern feminism lacks the intellectual maturity to deal with any counter argument. This is the main reason why many feminist arguments are shallow, not backed by statistics, and solipsistic.
Their adherents childishlyresort to labels rather than critically engaging opposing views. This is why they are so easily triggered. They are retards in the literal sense.
There exists the prospect of serious harm to the intellectual fabric of western society by allowing this cretinous ideology to gain prominence culturally and politically.
Why do you think most feminists are opposed to free speech?
Because they are too stupid to stupid to sustain any argument against their idiotic beliefs.
abudun79 5y ago
A missing counter-weight to a lot of post that took RedPill truths to unhealthy conclusions! Thank you very much!
It sometimes reads like some people missed to improve life and hamster their realization of some negative common ground into the improvement. I'm sure not every author had the intend to make it all black-white and sometimes uses that as a style or to make points clear. But I am also sure a lot of people new to the RedPill might not digest every article in a way they benefit from.
randarrow 5y ago
This is one of those places where "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" is good. The Think Win-Win chapter covers this. Don't just focus on comprise though, look for solutions which makes both people think they won without either compromising.
guccigoggle 5y ago
I think over exerting the idea of alpha/beta is a depressing sniveling thing for any grown man to do. Belief in yourself, and moral high ground should guide us, but for some reason external motivation(sexual prowess, money, body type) is what plants the seed. These are actually good things and are necessary to life, not prizes. I think people should apply Red Pill to your roots, where in life do you think you got off track? Is it childhood, teen years, college, career. Apply principle where you lack ability and branch out.
adirp 5y ago
> it is possible to provide the assertiveness and raw sexual attraction of an alpha while also providing the caring and providing qualities of the beta in one individual
You are literally describing the male unicorn, something everyone here should strive to become (provided they want a LTR).
MarkGuil 5y ago
I see what this "post" is about...So basically you disagree with AWALT? That's all you had to say. I mean, it depends on what you say ALL WOMEN are like. Obviously if you mean hypergamous you mean ALL. All women have vaginas and XX chromosomes, and have female brains. Most people in TRP don't say ALL all the time. They are just sick of saying "NOT ALL NOT ALL NOT ALL" 24/7 and get tired of it. On the contrary, they almost never bring up the numbers of females or people in general that fit the description unless speaking on statistics and just leave such numbers up for the reader. All in all, if you think you've found a unicorn and she's shifting your brain, or situations that make you want to drive more in between the roads, so be it. But don't try and disguise it. That's not honest.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
This post is about binary thinking, not AWALT. Calm down there slugger
MarkGuil 5y ago
Same to you slow poke. This post is irrelevant.
[deleted]
ksmith3244 5y ago
I was thinking to myself while reading this “wow, this guy really gets it”. This isn’t a post addressing positive thinking, it’s about the balance of power while considering mental control. And I agreed with everything said until you mentioned you forbid your girlfriend from eating ice cream, and from there it only got worse. To start, your lifestyle choices shouldn’t dictate what your significant other does, or doesn’t do. Forbidding her to do something for her own “well-being” doesn’t make you an alpha in a relationship, it makes you controlling. Even if she thinks it’s not about her physical appearance (when you clearly said it is), it’s manipulative to control someone without honesty. Being an alpha in a relationship means putting your significant others needs before yours, I agree it can mean checking them when they’re out of line, but respecting their decisions as a person ALWAYS. This goes beyond eating habits. It’s always facing the door when eating at a restaurant, or getting up to check a noise in the middle of the night, to name a few examples of “alpha” tendencies. It is NOT telling your girlfriend she can’t eat ice cream and her “begging for your dick” because you’re controlling. I found your post interesting, and while I think you’re on the right track for distinguishing dominant and non-dominant personality traits and the combination of the two, I’m certain your idea of an “alpha” is a bit skewed. Just something to consider.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Look, if she wants to have ice cream I'm not gonna pry it out of her hands. It's more like we're at the store, and she says can we get ice cream, and I say "no we're not eating that shit, it's not good for you", and she says "okay daddy you're right". Sometimes if the sun is out we'll have a popsicle, I'm not a goddamn tyrant. It's not about the ice cream, it's just the first example that came to mind.
I agree that my behavior is manipulative, but manipulation is not good nor evil. Manipulate means to change. When you pick up an object you are manipulating it. I am manipulating her for her good and for mine. Ice cream does not make her life happier or more fulfilling, it deteriorates her health (sugar is INCREDIBLY bad for you) and her body, and she knows she shouldn't have it. I'm being a positive influence without hurting her feelings.
Koryphae_ 5y ago
I thought the optimal strategy communicating with women was to convey messages without speaking i.e. attention withrawal, etc. So saying 'You should not eat ice cream, because of X' sounds like speaking to a man, giving orders, talking logically, does it not? In that sense, you seem like a tyrant. Shouldn't the whole mindset of a man be rather like 'Enjoy the trip or get off the ride'?
But I could be off completely here.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Well, my girl is pretty sensible and she generally respects my opinion and tends to follow my lead, she often says as much. So for trivial things like this I can just speak my mind and say "this is how it is", and she knows I'm right on a rational level. Emotionally, perhaps not so much, you make a good point.
You're probably right that I could frame my message in a way that's more digestible to her. I don't think punishing her with attention withdrawal or similar over something as trivial as ice cream is reasonable, but I might have greater success with a more emotional appeal.
At the end of the day though, it's hard to change someone's mind at the deep level necessary to bring about permanent habitual changes. For now I'm content if she eats healthy around me.
As to your greater point, I don't think non-verbal communication is the key. Rather, it's non-rational, I.e. emotional communication. It can be harder to invoke emotions verbally, which is why actions are sometimes more effective. However, it's not about the delivery system, it's about the recipient system, if that makes sense. Speak to her emotions, not her rational pre-frontal cortex.
MasonTaylor22 5y ago
Infinite shades of gray, and endless spectrums of color. Try to avoid polarized opinions.
GarytheGreat123 5y ago
Black and white, man and woman, left and right, 0 and 1, positive and negative, yin and yang. It’s the nature of our reality. When you do not rest in one state and continually flow between the two, that’s when you can truly take the world by the balls
MarkGuil 5y ago
You're gonna be 50% male 50% female? Lol. You don't have zero dollars you have 30 cents. The middle ground is only a means to emotionally concerve yourself. Or to satisfy something similar
[deleted]
GoCleanYourRoom 5y ago
The absence of nuance has had devastating effects on the political and cultural landscape recently. Dont become one of those morons that views the world as black or white.
[deleted]
lbrownlbandit 5y ago
I've recently been thinking a lot in line with this logic and recently even been debating the idea everything we do with women also applies to men. Be it a subsect of men but I have seen it time and time again where trp knowledge that I would use on women would apply to men. Even ideas such as AWALT and such where guys behave the exact same way as people describe women.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Men are becoming increasingly feminized, and testosterone levels are dropping. Women and feminists are encouraging men to adopt female sensibilities, and weak men are falling for it.
Men are ruled by biology just like women. We can't fight our nature. Just as there are patterns among female behavior, so there are with men. Sometimes these patterns overlap, sometimes they do not. Really we humans are pretty simple and dumb creatures.
Born2flip 5y ago
I don't think a lot of you realize just how far the rabbit hole can go for guys who are naturally assertive and dominant. You do gotta turn it down a notch. I used to smack my chick around, push her around, and manipulate her so much she was real fucked up. I was laughing to myself about one of the guides in here talking about gaslighting. That's shit abusive people like myself would do naturally. I never read a guide, it just comes with being an awful person.
After a couple of years of this she stopped eating and started losing a ton of weight and tried to off herself. I used to have a viewpoint that a man should never show any weakness and my whole life was just violence towards anyone I thought would challenge me including her. I got in fights everywhere I went.
In reality that's just ridiculous and a deep seeded insecurity hiding as masculinity. That was ten years ago, and I grew up. I grew up to be a healthy individual with healthy relationships. Part of it was letting go of some of that control.
You have to have a balance. The world is cold and cruel, and I used to say you have to be colder than the world is to make it. In reality life can be a journey to enjoy or a war you are constantly fighting. It's all on your outlook. If you think the world is against you, or in the case on TRP that women are against you, that's exactly what your world will be like.
I liked this post, because as a rational person coming to this site for the first time last night I was thinking "Wow, this is some ridiculous group think bullshit written as an extreme reaction to the game between men and women changing." This post and the reactions gave me a different outlook on The Red Pill. Being a man is about thinking for yourself, and that is what the OP did here, which is braver than people swallowing any fucking pill. You swallow someone else's pill absolutely, then you are nothing more than a sheep following absolutes set by another man.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Although you took it a lot further than I ever did, I recognize that combative mindset from how I used to be. It doesn't matter how well it works, because it's no way to live. Thanks for sharing, you don't often hear about people who come back from that place.
There is a lot of anger and toxicity in TRP, but also a lot of good, insightful stuff. It's just not always framed in the most palatable manner. Like any community we have all sorts. I'm hoping we can make it into something a little healthier, but I'm not trying to tell anyone what this place should be.
RedForEducation 5y ago
Flexibility does not. Mean middle Ground, it. Means being flexible to all points on the bell curve. The. Middle is a placation attitude
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Not sure what you're referring to but I'm not advocating for a middle ground. You should be able to move up and down the scale as necessary when it suits your goals.
mark2262 5y ago
This is such a great post. if everyone on here can really just process this information, I think it will cause a drastic and positive shift throughout this entire sub
fitzrhapsody 5y ago
It's a hard thing to accomplish, because most other communities online don't promote critical thinking whatsoever. Is something vaguely conservative/liberal/independent? Better downvote it and not engage! Does something contradict my beliefs? Insult the person and don't actually think about the argument!
I don't think TRP is any worse than many other subreddits, on any side of the political spectrum. Unfortunately, the more negative/angry posts there are here, the easier it is for those lazy people to dismiss and ridicule TRP. It's really sad, but maybe, over time, we can rise above.
mark2262 5y ago
This is all true. I still believe that despite it being a hard thing to accomplish, we should still persevere because who knows? We may just become that one subreddit that stands out above all the lazy people that dismiss and ridicule us. Because think about it, those ridiculing people aren’t just coming at us. Their fixed mindsets cause them to do it in every aspect of their lives.
Let’s be the change.
TrenGod37 5y ago
Fucking awesome post. Been thinking about this since I came here. Most guys on here come and give advice as if things are black and white.
“All women WILL cheat”
That’s not true. There’s a lot that just won’t. They can. And of course anything is possible but that doesn’t mean your girl is going to fuck the next chad the second you’re not around. This thinking is not only crazy but will literally drive you to misery and fuck up your relationships.
These are principles we lay out. Not law. Pick and choose what works for you. What you see to be true and fit within your own frame. And live accordingly
Another thing I think we forget at times through this journey is HAVE FUCKING FUN. It’s literally the most important thing in all of this shit. We tend to get caught up in life. And making the right choices and strive for perfection. It’s not possible. Whatever your mission is. Make sure you’re always having fun with this shit.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
This is the key, really. My value structure leaves me more open to negative outcomes than a safer stance of assuming all women/people are evil, but it also gives me a higher possibility of a greater reward (more fulfilling and deeper relationships with others).
It's not the only or perhaps even the best way, but it's the one most in line with my goals and desires.
zuixihuan 5y ago
I think the reason a girl will cheat on you is as nuanced as the whole "nature vs. nature" debate. Everyone understands a huge portion is based off character. But people don't focus on the logistics enough. It's the same thing anyone who is into pick-up focuses on. If you get a girl in a great mood, it is easy to get to a place to do the deed, and no one is around that will judge her for it, you have the lay in the bag 99 times out of a 100.
It's the same thing if there is a possibility your girl will cheat on you. If she has complete shit character, she probably will at the first possible opportunity. Maybe if she is extremely stubborn about her virtues, there is just no way she will. Maybe.
But really it is some mixture of the two. And if you have a high-quality woman, the second one, the circumstances, are the only thing that should worry you.
Veretox 5y ago
"HAVE FUCKING FUN" I recently realised that I've been acting like a stiff moron, having little to no fun, while swallowing the pill hard and fast.. and you know what? I found a fb convo with some guy from highschool/long ago, and it reminded me; how fun it and I used to be.. It seems like I reverted back into that laid back state with a snap of a finger like speed. To have fun is to live a fulfilling life. That is all there is too it. Look at Arnold in pumping iron if you want to know what i mean.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Always getting the upper hand isn't worth much if you're miserable all the time because of the joys you sacrificed to get there. Pumping Iron is such a great movie, what a character he is.
[deleted] 5y ago
[--removed--]
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
I agree 100% and I see why things are the way they are here. Still, I think injecting a little nuance here and there is helpful.
[deleted] 5y ago
[--removed--]
max_peenor 5y ago
Unfortunately, learning a better way to juggle hand-grenades isn't as advanced or nuanced as people may think. Most don't leave here to improve their lives. They leave here to try to try and fix their previous life.
Indeed, if you have grown such that you don't feel like you need to visit here, then cool--go forth and slay, traveller. It's slow suicide if you think you can evolve red pill awareness into a comfortable container of shitty old situations. You either categorically reject old shitty situations or at a bare minimum your position in old shitty situations. I'm not telling you what to do here. Stay married. That's your choice. However there is no way to be who you used to be and be ok in the marriage, no matter how much new, shiny armor you wear.
VeganBaguette 5y ago
https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/middle-ground
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
I claimed that it can be the truth, not that it must. You fell victim to absolutist binary thinking, and comitted a logical fallacy of your own in failing to understand what I'm saying.
Pynewacket 5y ago
AWALT is not a motto of the sub, but the concept that women's sexual strategy is underpined by hypergamy.
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
MotivationCheck 5y ago
This is why I hate AWALT. It’s such a nonsensical thought process to categorize any group of people as “like that”. Not smart homies
bad_news_everybody 5y ago
I read AWALT the same way I read the expression "Every gun is loaded."
Literally true? No. But you wouldn't point a gun at yourself and pull the trigger, trusting that it is unloaded. Thus you should never point a woman at your wallet and trust that she's fine.
You might be dating someone who isn't "like that" but how can you tell? Short of the most rigorous verification, you should handle with care. A gun in your hands can't hurt you if you don't let it.
dulkemaru51 5y ago
AWAW, All Women Are Women.
Women = Like That... they are WOMEN
They all share similar, hardwired characteristics, such as hypergamy.
Their innate programming manifests in various ways. TRP is a set of observed facts that are broken down into universals, like AWALT. With experience, people are able to predict future behaviour that varies greatly from individual to individual and between environments.
AWALT is not supposed to mean, for example, that all women cheat. That is an extension from the core, the core being AWALT, that has no basis in that core.
Take the fundamentals with you, resist the urge to draw imaginary conclusions, go out to operate in the world and observe and you will be able to draw your observations to those fundamentals, guaranteed.
midnightreider 5y ago
I agree with you, binary thinkers will take that line to the wrong ends, thinking that all women are filthy cheaters. I’ve seen posts on the exTRP sub explaining TRP made them horribly anxious about their relationships and they couldn’t handle it. This sub also teaches to look for women with good family relationships and upbringings as a way to mitigate your risk of being cheated on, so AWALT is certainly more of an explanation for varying degrees of human nature, not a box to slam all women into. Nuances.
MotivationCheck 5y ago
I’m pretty binary in my thinking, until I realize I’m thinking like an idiot. The worst is, AWALT has its truths for the most part, you just have to discern what’s widely applicable to women and what’s not. Not every woman is gonna fuck another man while she’s in a relationship, but just cause we read about it so often here it might seem “normal” to categorize women like that.
midnightreider 5y ago
Exactly. This sub can become an echo chamber for a lot of chumps here, and it’s unhealthy. Not because the ideals are wrong, but because it isn’t healthy to be constantly hearing stories of divorce rape and guys scoring with girls in “committed” relationships when you don’t have the context of your own experience. Sure, I have friends who have been cheated on, have fucked married women and girls with boyfriends. I also see girls I know who have boyfriends turn men down because they’re already committed. The common theme? The cheating women aren’t satisfied for whatever reason, and the faithful ones are. If she isn’t satisfied, she’s going to go somewhere else eventually. There’s much more to it than just my brief summation, but that’s AWALT in short. I went to high school with a guy who’s girlfriend was asked by fucking Ronaldo to have some drinks with him wherever he was staying, and she turned him down. Trust me, her boyfriend was absolutely nothing compared to Ronaldo, but she was satisfied with him.
Stick to the sidebar, and use field reports and RP examples as reinforcement for the sidebar material.
zuixihuan 5y ago
I'm going to copy a comment I made elsewhere in this post because I think it fits your comment really well too:
"I think the reason a girl will cheat on you is as nuanced as the whole "nature vs. nature" debate. Everyone understands a huge portion is based off character. But people don't focus on the logistics enough. It's the same thing anyone who is into pick-up focuses on. If you get a girl in a great mood, it is easy to get to a place to do the deed, and no one is around that will judge her for it, you have the lay in the bag 99 times out of a 100.
It's the same thing if there is a possibility your girl will cheat on you. If she has complete shit character, she probably will at the first possible opportunity. Maybe if she is extremely stubborn about her virtues, there is just no way she will. Maybe.
But really it is some mixture of the two. And if you have a high-quality woman, the second one, the circumstances, are the only thing that should worry you."
JamesP2018 5y ago
"It's understandable, but do you really want to model your view of the world after someone who is absolutely miserable?" Has nothing to do with it. Inherently the man who sees the world more clearly and can accept what he sees is going to be more in control of his life in the long run than someone who does not. Pulling random science stuff out to make points, happiness more or less stays the same through out life in studies done on it. People who are temporarily unhappy because of an updated belief system aren't special snowflakes in this regard.
Lambdal7 5y ago
You're advocating for a binary view of the world, because that person then sees the world more clear. You couldn't be more wrong.
This is what dumb people do who have difficulty understanding nuances and can only hurr durr one way or another.
If you're smart, you can see a differentiated view of every aspect making you able to make the right decision in situations that are not always entirely clear.
Someone with binary thinking has very coarse social skills and isn't able to navigate the social situations effortlessly, will not get invited to social events, is a loner, have less job prospectives. Then he thinks "I dont need anyone anybody! I'm so awesome, they can all go fuck themselves" sitting alone in his room and playing video games.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
I disagree. It's not obvious that "life is miserable and people are shitty" is always the correct interpretation. It certainly is sometimes, but not always.
I think you can be realistic, clear and lucid about things without being cynical. Your view on the world has an impact on your happiness, and if being happier comes with a slight risk of being wrong or look like a fool sometimes then I'll take that risk. I see what you're saying but I don't think always assuming the worst is the optimal approach if you want a rich and happy life. If your goal is different then your approach maybe should be different too.
JamesP2018 5y ago
What you are now talking about seems to have nothing to do with what I was trying to convey. I'll restate in a different way. Make truth the number 1 pursuit and everything else can be sorted out later. Morality and implications of what is found have no place in the initial search.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Truth is my number one pursuit, but you are hopelessly mistaken if you think it is attainable. Absolute universal objective truth is forever outside of your grasp. You can try to get as close as you can, but there are multiple ways there. You can't know which one gets you the closest, so I advocate to choose a road that gets you reasonably close while also not making you more miserable than necessary.
JamesP2018 5y ago
I find nothing to disagree with in this statement.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Oh she certainly does. But when she's with me she's stuffing her mouth with my dick and not ben & jerries, and we're both happy. This post is not about ice cream or controlling people.
fitzrhapsody 5y ago
I point to posts like this as examples when outsiders immediately label everyone in the TRP community as sexist assholes who hate women and only want to get laid. This is self-improvement. TRP is self-improvement. Everything here focuses on self-improvement. "Getting girls" is important, but secondary. Your post is excellent. 1000% this.
To me, TRP is about helping people get into healthy mental and physical shape first and foremost, then understanding how people actually work/think, not just how society lazily tells us they do. It's about taking personal responsibility, being able to adapt to situations and understand why people do what they do, and critically think for yourself, as opposed to the rest of society that seems focused on forcing people to swallow and regurgitate PC rhetoric like a mindless drone.
Oh, and it just so happens that having those skills might also get you laid. Shocking!
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
That's what I would like TRP to be too, but I find that's often not the case. But I see why people take such an absolutist stance here, they want to distance themselves from their former BP selves and make it easy for newcomers to digest.
Unfortunately though, I think that this rhetoric sometimes turns away some of a more sensible and gentle disposition, who might benefit from TRP:s teachings. It's got a kind of almost radicalizing feedback effect.
mmerijn 5y ago
I needed to read this post today, thank you OP and have a nice day.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Glad you enjoyed it, I hope your day improves buddy.
andtoc 5y ago
I'm curious. Do you know any examples of celebrities/historical figures who have both alpha and beta sides? I'm finding it hard to imagine what such an individual might be like.
[deleted]
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Not that I can think of right off the bat, but there probably are. When I say beta, I mean beta as in a gentle protector and provider, not a submissive, feminine soyboy. I'm sure there are many people who are decisive and assertive while also having more caring qualities.
MarkGuil 5y ago
I really hope you didn't suggest being beta AND alpha. Why would you want to be beta? It's just stupid.
[deleted]
[deleted] 5y ago
[--removed--]
max_peenor 5y ago
Check.
Uh huh.
Oh yeah. Lived that shit show. Never again.
There is no nuance. You can delegate tasks, but you cannot delegate leadership, not even the tiniest piece. You ARE always responsible. Or not.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
I'm not speaking about leadership, but I do agree that leading/following is generally a binary relationship in any given moment. With that said, there's still a big difference between using terms like 50-50 and 1-1 or 0-1, because 50-50 implies the possibility of 25-75 and other blends that may be more optimal but are not possible in a binary representation. It's still more nuanced than saying you're either A or B, which is the point I want to get across without making any suggestions on what the optimal mix is.
However, my post is also about how some phenomenon that TRP generally speak of as being linearly correlated are in fact more orthogonal in nature, such as dominant/submissive and mean/nice. I am certainly not advocating some 50/50 yin/yang mix between alpha and beta, I am saying that different mixes are possible and it's not obvious that 0-100 is always the best one.
[deleted] 5y ago
[--removed--]
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Still not talking about leadership, the post is about metacognition and how to think.
I also don't think there is evidence to support the fact that 100% leadership is optimal in organizations. In the military and romantic relationships maybe, but certainly not in creative intellectual pursuits. This is a bit of a tangent, but strict leadership hierarchies can lead to worse outcomes when it comes to more cerebral work than factory assembly and the like. I think you are oversimplyfying, ironically in another display of binary thinking.
I see what you're saying but you're talking about something other than what I'm talking about.
[deleted] 5y ago
[--removed--]
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
I already conceded that strictly leading is preferable in romantic relationships so why are you still arguing the point? You're so dead set on proving me wrong, although you seem confused on what I'm actually saying, that you're just rambling on about inconsequential topics and coming off like a broken record.
You're being needlessly confrontational while not really saying much of anything. My post is still not about leadership. I get that this is probably your favorite topic but at this point I feel like you might wanna go write your own post cause I'm not the guy you should be arguing this with.
[deleted] 5y ago
[--removed--]
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
No, my post is about binary thinking. It's right there in the title. I agree there are a lot of spergs, but I'm not telling TRP to stop speaking in absolutes to spergs, I'm telling people, spergs or no, to stop thinking in absolutes because it's harmful. You can speak however you want as long as you don't try to tell me what I mean by my words or what I understand. And there you go again with the "must". I'm actually a fairly intelligent guy and I can determine for myself how I should speak to people.
The TRP discourse has a place and I see why it's useful, but it also has limitations. So maybe sometimes we could try having some adult discussions too?
[deleted] 5y ago
He’s saying you’re not writing to the audience and therefore doing everyone a disservice.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
I know what he's saying, I'm writing to a different audience than what he thinks. I also think he's underestimating the community. Look at the score, it's 90% upvoted with lots of comments in agreement. "Doing everyone a disservice" seems like a misjudgement.
[deleted] 5y ago
[--removed--]
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Read the language in my post again. Do you think it's aimed at below 90 IQ retards? It's a friendly reminder to anyone who understands it, because even I tend to fall into binary thinking now and then. You've clearly got both feet firmly planted there despite apparently being far above the rest of the gutter trash here. By all means, stay there if you like, I don't give a shit.
And did you really have to throw in a little "u mad" quip at the end there? That's below both our dignities. Why are you even posting here if that's how you view your fellow redpillers, are you just stroking your ego? Those are rhetorical questions, by the way. No need for further responses.
telytuby 5y ago
“Retards speak in absolutes because they’re retards” you say this after saying “we have to speak in absolutes” basically just called yourself a retard, congrats. OP makes a really good point at how a lot of posts here are people who take things like AWALT literally and think that if you EVER show ANY emotion your LTR will leave leave you. Obviously neither of those are true in every single circumstance, although I’d wager that you believe they are true in every single circumstance. If a guy never showed any emotion to someone who he’s meant to be emotionally involved with, she’ll leave right then and there.
Edit: thankyou OP for this post seems like it was really needed and you can see the majority of people agree.
turtlings 5y ago
Especially your feelings eh?
And why are you shooting yourself in the foot and calling yourself a retard. Stop letting your emotions dictate your conversation input.
anabolic92 5y ago
One of the clears examples of those binary thinkings, that lead to the extremes, is often seen on asktrp.
OP feeling insecure because, for example, her LTR/plate has done something suspicious (note, just suspicious not disrespectfull).
The answer is "ghost, delete her from all social media, drop stuff in bags" without knowing half of the details that might be worth asking the OP before coming into that conclusion.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Yeah, it's the safest response but it's kind of a chickenshit move in my opinion. You can't really go wrong because there's no risk involved, but of course there's also not much opportunity for reward.
It's hard to form meaningful relationships if you drop everyone at the first sign of trouble. That's fair if you're not interested in one, but relationships with women can be very rewarding and fulfilling as long as you don't expect too much from them.
anabolic92 5y ago
As long as there is no boundaries crossed from the other side, that should have been stated at the beginning of the relationship, or a clear disrespect it's better to end on good terms with anyone, men or women.
At the end of the day the world can be such a small place and you don't know when you might need the help from the persons that have been in your life.
_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_ 5y ago
Yeah I kind of glossed over the ghost part, I agree with that. I don't like burning bridges if I can avoid it, even if someone slighted me. Revenge is petty and doesn't really benefit me in any way. It's an emotional response, not a rational one. It's how women behave. I end all my relationships on good terms if I have the chance.
deon10 5y ago
Sidebar this please!
What an awesome and necessary post
[deleted]
BaelorsBalls 5y ago
I love this post! I’ve been thinking about this but didn’t know how to put it into words and you captured it perfectly
Schhwing 5y ago
Dichotomies serve as good illustrating models. AF/BB, or lover/provider being an invaluable one. However of course you don’t need to shame yourself for straying from a hard line or showing some ‘niceness’ or humanity.
The key here is to make your life the best it can be for you. Everyone is different in ways, which means what will be comfortable for one, won’t be for another. Find the shoe that fits and wear that.
[deleted] 5y ago
DING! You just proved AWALT is bullshit but then immediately dismissed it.