Disclaimer: this includes some hardcore meta
This is a repost updated for quality, to fit new posting rules, and an ongoing writing experiment. It is the meat and potatoes of all my RP perspectives, and is a eulogy to 3 very RP individuals. My grandfather, my mother, and my father. I'm in business (big, international) born and raised, so if you're in business and doing well, you'll likely understand this much better. If you're not, then please keep in mind, the sheerness of this is not limited to financial or corporate institutions, it is the function of the machine of human interaction. Simply, in a quantitative industry, it becomes more stark.
Note, value is not about sex, sex is something you buy with value, or passively is offered as a bartering chip for your internal value. This post is NOT about sex. Though it does cover how to "afford" it frequently.
Summary
This lesson provides insight on a (my) lifestyle based on managing value, internal, and external, and the functions in regards to how the world views your value. It additionally leads on how to recognize and build value in yourself and others, and how to leverage it passively and actively.
For those who need RP terminology, value is what you bring to the R.M.P., and what is passively exuded in your S.M.V. It is both your fuel and currency for getting what you want from the world.
Synopsis 1: defining the terms
Value. Almost every post in trp and mrp are about failing to have it, failing to maintain it, failing to utilize or recognize it, and how to increase it, internal vs external, how to measure both, etc. Imagine that you're running a house party, and value is on the menu 24/7. It is your cost and your profit. (the kegs, activities, people you supply, vs what they offer you in return.)
Definition:
What is value? Value is what the world sees in you and wants. Quite simply, if others want it, it has value. Additionally, your value is no higher than the highest bidder. This is not to confuse it with being strictly external value, as value comes in flavors, internal, and external. They are not mutually exclusive, that was an inclusive "or".
Internal value
Internal value is anything which improves what others want from you by improving yourself. These values are important in that they cannot be taken from you except in extreme circumstance. This is why trp always says to newcomers, GO LIFT. GO READ. GO GET EXPERIENCE. Other noted internal values are education, above average levels of field specific training, temperance, fortitude, perspective, abundance mindset, and integrity. Internal value is how you go about securing external value, as it is your fuel for your external expenses. A high internal value lets you gain external value more often and at a larger magnitude. In other words, build your body, mind, and skills, to afford what you want. Internal value is not regulated by others anywhere near as heavily as external.
External value
External value is important as well, though it has a cost. External value can also be taken from you at a moments notice, tragedy, misfortune, or even some idiot with a knife can separate you from your external value. Things like nice cars, clothing that is trendy, or being in the bosses evoked set (read as go to guy), can shift quickly and with barely any warning, and require a large upkeep of energy. Keep in mind external value isn't only physical, charity and trust are also external, as well as your public image. 'Charity and trust especially should be treated as incredibly high maintenance'
Application: How to treat, build, and spend value? Treat internal value as a long term stock investment. Build it, build your portfolio, and your passive income will replenish faster and at a larger amount right? When you buy that nice car or refresh your wardrobe yearly, or want a classy night on the town, it's better coming out of the yearly passive income (dividends, bonds claimed, etc) than your monthly active income (your jobs paycheck) isn't it? The same goes for internal value as opposed to external. So you build lifestyle changes, lifting, weekly outings, speaking to everyone, saying no happily. On to the actual lesson.
Synopsis 2: the how and why
You are what the world sees you do. If you're a person who is constantly adding value to the world, people will want a slice of it, who doesn't want nice shit? Everyone thinks they have something to trade, many think they can get some free! (read entitled people /women) The world is endlessly hungry, bigger, better, and stronger than you. It will fuck you. It will crash and consume everything at your party and leave nothing for you. This is why external value MUST come from excess. As a party dwindles in size what happens? The fast starters move to a new venue, most will lag about until competition is too fierce, some will close the shop and lick the plates. If you're good at managing your value, the party costs you nothing active, you could throw one every day without actually hitting your daily (spending) account.
The danger of ignorant practices
If you're really bad at managing your value, you will eventually have nothing left to fuel yourself, you will first lose external value, and damage your internal. It's like buying meals for a date when you don't even have savings. When you can't afford rent. When you haven't bought a gym membership. When that new car is more important than finishing your college education.
"The man who kills a man, kills a man, the man who kills himself, kills all men." -G.k. Chesterton. Do not kill yourself 'and all future opportunities' by outspending your value.
You must internalize that to give value cheaply or for free is suicide. There must always be a sufficient exchange.
You must always focus your time on increasing the size and quality of your value. Since the goal of any rp individual is to increase net value (progression), you need to consider others into your equation. Connections are the biggest external value asset you can tap into, but you must be selective in who sits at the table. Both because you are the company you keep, and also because it creates scarcity 'in access' to a real bounty of resources, 'your hard built party, your value'. This especially falls into the realm of charity, give selfishly or not at all.
On charity
Anyone who comes to your table can beg, but they have to be a VIP to be seated. This isn't to say you don't calculate the gain of playing the benevolent God, it actually raises interest in the table when done correctly as others believe there's a chance at entry. This is the massive, singular value saver in saying NO. Say no when anything and anyone isn't cost effective. This shouldn't even be difficult, if you really understand the above you know how important it is to safeguard your internal and external value. Would you allow someone who walked up and demanded 4 hours worth of cash from you to open your wallet and help themselves? No? Good. Then don't let some random non VIP eat from YOUR value banquet without trading the same in THEIR value to you.
Your value is a limited resource, very limited. The less time you spend building your internal value, the less often it can be spent without damaging it's replenishment rate. It is an upkeep that only grows and never ends. You are the owner, bouncer, and host, and you're using that surplus of internal value to purchase/attract others who bring you external value. No one will save you except yourself, the world does not care about you and if allowed, will try to consume you. Do not be jaded about this fact. Be happy. The world is dependable, now you know where you stand.
It is not just a temporary perspective
It is your duty to improve yourself so that you can add value to those that can add value to you in kind. It is the ultimate truth of anyone who expects to gain anything from the world in a meaningful way.
For this reason I heavily suggest doing as I do, and applying the 80/20 rule. 80 percent of your time should be spent increasing internal value while only 20% should be used purchasing external value. Before you schedule going to the club, 'which costs you time, a cost everyone must be aware of' make sure your schedule includes 4 times as much for internal value building. Lifting, education, public speaking training, podcasts, career advancement, whatever it takes, most of your day should be focused on improving internal value. When you go out to enjoy spending your value, not only can you have peace of mind and focus solely on managing the clientele, you will have clients begging to trade with you.
General rules of value management if you have a high income job, hell, general for anyone.
1: don't ever discuss money around women. Not how much you make, not what you do, not what you're worth.
2: don't ever offer to pay for anything. She probably just by speaking to you has figured out you're in the upper demographic, maybe from what you wear, maybe the car you drive, maybe because you swipe that card a little too casually.
3: no gifts. If you're the type for ltrs, the big dates sure, but don't go crazy. She should be happy to have your time and attention.
4: no 'emergency handouts'. Couldn't make rent? Not my problem. Need something for class? Not my problem. The kids need new shoes? They're your kids, aren't you a strong independent woman?
5: modesty. Don't flaunt what you have. Ever. Advertising external value excess damages your position, defaulting it to provider. Advertise only internal value excess. (this can sometimes flip depending on who your chasing. Shit, Milfs and cougars are crazy.)
6: everything is a contract. The world wants to eat you, if your relation is landing you a net loss, 'like a business deal' note how it happened. Drop the deal. Learn for the future.
7: if she checks out, and you want more, pre nup or gtfo. No questions asked. If she resists even in the slightest, you made a misjudgement, get over it, there are others.
8: Don't invite people to look into your nest. They need to earn that information.
Tldr
Value comes in two flavors. Internal, and external. Internal is what cannot be taken from you without extreme circumstance. External is what you trade to others, and is fickle, easily removed by even chance.
80% of your time and effort should be in building internal value. The rest can be buying with external.
Lessons planned
Why you need a yearly monk-done
Vetting different levels of women.-done
Value Management (updated)-done
Agency, you have it, stop ignoring it! - done
Silent or vibrate only, making it easy to be busy- upcoming
Goal building and follow through (updated)+upcoming
New addition: frame, from a philosophy major and practicing stoic-done
Addendum; thank you all for your input and critiques. I'm happy to have helped a few, and I can't wait to improve more, until the next lesson I will definitely be taking any questions and complaints.
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SonOfTerra92 8y ago
"Sex is something you buy with value" No truer words have ever been spoken.
whisky1111 8y ago
So "value" is about turning yourself into a yuppie circa 1986 with a 1st edition copy of "Think and Grow Rich" in your designer briefcase?
Keninishna 8y ago
value is not the same as reproductive value, although they can be similar and exchanged at times. I have a successful career and make lots of money and well educated and work with other very successful people, yet no girl is interested in me. Why? I don't have the confidence of being alpha, I've only banged two girls ever and I'm 31. I will go on dates and stuff occasionally but as soon as the girls try to make it a habit where money is involved I drop them. If not it becomes a really expensive relationship and you get put in to provider role.
Really you just have to be chad thundercock, thats the guys they want to have a one night stand with. think hotchickswithdouchebags dot com. Not a fancy buisnessman. This is a conflict of interest because TRP style is to be professional not some low class college frat guy or drug dealer.
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Keninishna 8y ago
A few thoughts I have so far are:
money is ingrained into society, its like blood for society, it keeps things moving, growing. The problem is as OP stated its external value and it can be taken away at any moment yet we rely on it everyday. So a girl can lie and say she likes you cause she thinks your attractive only to obtain money from you, a girl can be honest and straight up trade money for sex, or a girl can actually like you and money is just a consequence of reality. So how can you tell the true motivations of women? well unless you can read minds you can't. I have a lot of friends who say things like "you can't pickup a bartender because she just flirts so you tip her well" same thing with strippers. The thing is I've picked up and fucked bartenders and strippers without paying them anything. Bartenders/strippers get horny too. Women can be clever as well so you generally have to resort to a rule of thumb type system and cut off women that might actually just like you. I don't actually mind paying for women as long as they are congruent and treat it like an afterthought. Invariably though some women turn into golem from lord of the rings when you deny them money flow and say nasty things. At that point its like having a pet wolf that bit you, you have to put it down or its just going to keep biting you harder. Some attractive women though learn to deal with their egos and do things like charity work, help the homeless etc.. Once that happens though their judgement corrects and you can't fake your attractiveness as easily.
Money is power and women are attracted to power, I was friends with a brazillian model from hong kong and she would tell me about the super rich guys she would date that drove ferraris just for a few miles around the city blocks. I think she was turned on by guys that have amex black cards (no spending limit). I think the guys treated the girls like another luxury item, ferraris are nice and also expensive.
So whats the strategy for the average dude like me and you? Only thing I can think of is exploit the fact that women get horny and want sex. The lust factor. Think of the movie knocked up, seth rogan knocks up whatshername even though hes a low value male. As long as your attitude is to be non judgemental so as to elicit slutty behavior and also being the guy who is down for a good time. Ironically I think a lot of these girls aren't actually sluts, well who am I kidding they are all sluts.
TheOneTrueMagnet 8y ago
Power is power. Leveraging power into money happens all the time, but do not forget that while money and power correlate, they are not the same.
[deleted] 8y ago
Meh; Suicide might just be the only option for some of us. If it's all about living the life you want; what about those of us who do not want to live?
And this is why I hate it. So very, very much. All the excess, all the ridiculous frivolity... There is no reason for the world; at the very least, there is no reason any of us should want to live in it.
GiskardReventelov 8y ago
Great post, I really like the 80% value bulding and 20% spending rule. Thanks for sharing this information
KilluaKanmuru 8y ago
Value is a commodity. I like it. It makes sense. The party analogy was falling off the rails. The article would flow better by discarding that analogy.
[deleted] 8y ago
Edited it out. I'll continue editing it to be more concise. Thank you!
Geleemann 8y ago
First reply I've seen that addresses what could be improved in OP's post, and not just saying "Well, I dunno if you're in business, but you're certainly not in writing because Robert Heinlein did a much better job of explaining value in Starship Troopers."
the_dwarfee 8y ago
being in the bosses evoked set? I read that far
trinitys_dildo 8y ago
Great post thanks /u/Metalaggeddon.
I have a "good" white collar job which I like.
I'm struggling with the "what do you do?" question. I think girls ask it partly to make chit chat and partly to assess provider value and social status.
Initially I can play it off with some dumb funny answer. But they seem to get suspicious of why I won't answer and end up not trusting me or thinking I'm hiding something. Which I am I guess.
There was one girl who I eventually told and then we got into a stupid conversational loop where she kept assuming I was embarrassed or such about my job and was reassuring me and I would respond that I'm not embarrassed and that I avoided saying because it doesn't define me then I'd change the topic. She would change it back. Round the loop again.
London-Bananas 8y ago
I disagree on the pre-nup. Even if we assume it won't be thrown out, you're fixing a problem you created yourself.
Saying you will marry with a pre-nup is like cutting yourself to the bone for no reason and saying it doesn't matter because you'll put a band aid on it.
Don't marry, ever.
[deleted] 8y ago
Sidebar this shit. Or put it in the banner already.
Some brodudes just don't seem to get it.
throwaway_divorce_11 8y ago
You're goddamned right.
I'm only -$70,000 in debt and fighting for full custody against a (literally) crazy person and her monied, enabling family and their hired aggressive, bottom-feeding attorneys. Good times.
[deleted] 8y ago
what if I feel like we have a special connection and she's unique?
[deleted] 8y ago
What if she divorces you 10 years later and leaves you broke and broken? It's about risk management.
[deleted] 8y ago
Fair. However there will always be those who do choose it, if i were to do something dangerous I'd prefer an attempt at safety rather than none.
TruckerJohn 8y ago
Not getting married IS the attempt at safety though. Marriage is, fundamentally, a formal acknowledgement you'll be with your SO forever and ever and ever. Well, a prenup just says outright "maybe we wont." That's not a safety measure, that's a defensive measure. The safety measure is asking your SO "let's stay together forever" and they say yes, and give it the old college try without involving ANY government in the picture.
Castremast 8y ago
And i'm pretty sure prenups can be nullified in court, so you aren't safe especially if you have assets and your SO needs financial help after divorcing. Fuck marriage, it's the worst deal you can make.
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cocaine_face 8y ago
Can you find that post again? While I don't want to get divorced, I'd like to hear it. It seems like similar tactics could be useful for an unexpected pregnancy too.
I'd always considered emotional manipulation/covert threats to be a good idea in such a case.
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[deleted] 8y ago
I need a mentor. Someone like you. Where does one find one? I am lost. But I feel my potential is limitless. Please advise. This picture is a good idea of what where I am. What is my purpose? Thanks for any suggestions and/or advice.
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[deleted] 8y ago
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[deleted] 8y ago
Oh, check that again, they are not mutually exclusive.
Your job, is probably external, your career is likely internal, but both can be both. That's up to your circumstance.
TheRedRain 8y ago
Somebody make this guy an EC already...
[deleted] 8y ago
Lol. Just help me improve my system and I'll do what I can to share.
Seriously though what a compliment!
[deleted] 8y ago
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[deleted] 8y ago
Power is the ability to influence the world around you. People included. Value is a reference to that which gives you potential and sometimes actual power, internal (passive) and external (active), but it's no guarentee. Leveraging that potential is still on the individual.
Not that I had worried about or considered, though now that I think of it, yes it does. Then again broadly many things a person does could easily be integrated into (imho) something so foundational in a person.
Not at all. There are likely others that can or will take the initiative to go into detail, I don't feel competent enough to cover that without research.
DestroyAllBarriers 8y ago
What do you mean by "the world is dependable?"
The perspective that internal and external value are in fact a market trade is incredible and fog lifting. I know TRP talks a lot about the market place but putting it in this purely transactional way makes it so much clear. But it also brings me to questioning whether or not there is any real companionship between people?
randomkloud 8y ago
of course there can be companionship but if you think value calculations arent involved you're deluding yourself. I'm not saying people make a list and keep an account but it just happens subconsciously for most people. when there is an imbalance in the transaction you will find the relationship will sour prety fast.
erbalot 8y ago
That conclusion keeps coming up for me as well. And TRP's answer to that is what? That everything is transactional and there is no real companionship as you put it? Anyway I've been meaning to ask if TRP just boils down to objectivism. I can't help but see parallels between this problem and Ayn Rand dying isolated and miserable after trying to steal her friend away from his wife. Maybe I'm just thinking about it too deeply or something.
Sergnb 8y ago
Yeah I have problems seeing the world as a purely transactional when things like altruism exist and a majority of friendships are built on proximity and likeness in interests rather than "trading" values. There are certainly examples of people abandoning their friends because they perceive they are inferior to them, but it is generally agreed upon that those people are shitty friends to begin with. In my particular circumstances, I was adopted by a group of people to enter their friendship group even though at that moment I was a lazy, uncharismatic, ugly mess of a person. Yet I shared some common interests that sparked a friendship relationship that is stronger than ever 3 years after.
This post has me questioning the nature of that relationship and the reasons that relationship grew in strength in a relatively short period of time, but at this point in time I have witnessed first hand what I believe to be purely altruistic intentions to build relationships with no ulterior motives.
I don't know, although, like everyone else here, I am desinthetized from the delusional, bubbly disneyland view of the world that many people seem adamant on teaching the young, I am similarly skeptical of this overly cynical, objetivist worldview, as it seems like an overcompensating reaction to the idealistic and optimistic one after seeing it doesn't hold up to scrutiny, but is similarly based not on rational thought and empirical reasoning, but on skewed emotions and an irrational desire to have answers for everything that happens around us.
Then again, the fact that I hold these beliefs has also clashed with plenty of basic trp "truths" (like AWALT, for example), so I don't know if any of you are going to agree with me.
If anyone thinks I'm talking out of my ass feel free to let me know I'm always up for discussion
[deleted] 8y ago
Value is not only physical. The emotional satisfaction of having a social circle, gaining confirmation, and feeling "wanted" are massively important to many people, and they're willing to pay a high price. For example look at the tendencies of battered women or men in relationships.
I feel this is because the term "friend" is vastly overused. Most people are only acquainted with you, friends supposedly are incredibly rare, the kind that last a lifetime anyway. For example, I have 3 "friends" whom I rarely see, but we're family by all accounts. To me that's a friend, my happiness is actually tangentially contingent on their well being,and vice versa. The majority of people I hang out with day to day, will never come close to the level of cooperative relationship.
3 years isn't bad depending on the age, wait until a decade has passed. Whose still around? Whose still supporting, criticizing, and growing with you?
Altruism. There's that word again. I find it very unlikely to exist in the pure form. There is always a motive, though I think often times the motive doesn't carry much weight in application, and is likely not premeditated. The action is still a positive one.
I definitely disagree. I am incredibly happy, actually to pull from another of my comments, "i love people. As individuals. The group is rather crappy but the individuals can be quite amazing, either in good or bad ways. I love that" I also do not believe this outlook to be inherently cynical. I think its simply a system that the most successful (in multiple ways including self actualized and happiness) have internalized and live with. A praxeology not a philosophy. Much as trp is. Really it's knowing when to say no, and knowing what's important to you well enough to quickly and effectively remove detrimental influences.
Don't worry about being agreed with. Worry about what works for you, and be critical in your system, disagreement is healthy. As long as you're willing to improve your system to make yourself happier easier.
Wouldn't presume that. In fact I'd advise against offering discussion with an opener of self doubt or depreciation. However thank you for an interesting comment. I enjoyed it, though I feel I half posted one of my next lessons by responding to you! I hope some endorsed or vets can contribute as well. I'm certain many wrestle with this... Reality vs desire for the perfect lense, kind of dissonance.
[deleted] 8y ago
Spot on i'm afraid I have nothing else to add besides that.
krieggz 8y ago
This needs a lot more upvotes.
To me this is a real redpill post. This is useful, tangible information. Thank you.
razorwan 8y ago
This is something I've been thinking about even before I found TRP. But then, what do you really say when someone asks you the straightforward question "what do you do for a living?" Do I really tell them I'm in med school, do I lie, do I dance around the subject?
The last thing I want is a money-grubbing post CC whore in a LTR with me. I want to judge them before they see what I make, so that I can see how interested they are in me.
RPmatrix 8y ago
telling her you are in med school is not 'talking about money'and IF she wants to assume things as a result of this knowledge, you don't want to be with her
I guess this is why many medico's marry other people in the game, a bit like actors and cops, as it's not the easiest 'job' to understand for many people and while some people might study medicine with the hope of a big income, IME most drs aren't doing it for the money, or they'd be studying something else
That said, many drs discover after they've graduated that 'medicine is not for them' BUT they're not going to waste their degree and become self centered dicks dealing with patients they DGAF about, as they see medicine as "just another well paying job", (IMO it's a commitment, a vocation, unlike many 'careers') The difference in dealing with people as a dr is incomparable to say, banking.
They might both be jobs, but like men and women are both humans, the similarity ends quickly thereafter
Saying you're a banker =/= rich, it may imply a high income and anyway, it's not like she's going to be spending it unless you let her!
Saying you're studying med = saying you're basically a poor student gaining debt, and the money is a way off yet!
Also, as women get older they should be more independent, not less, so, no, as they get older, which means they should 'need your money' even less!
In my opinion, that is.
m
drallcom3 8y ago
You can still talk about your job. Just don't drop any hints about your salary, how much you spend (e.g. flat), what you save and how you invest.
Jobs are such a big part of our lives, you'd look like a social retard if you never talk about yours. She probably already knows that you're well off before that question comes up anyway.
dmystery 8y ago
How old are you? I'm just starting Med School but over in the UK so in my very early twenties.
Girls at university definitely do treat medics differently and swallowing the pill will hopefully better allow me to manage my response.
razorwan 8y ago
My parents are of a culture that encourages arranged marriage, so I see all the ears pucker if someone says they're going into medicine, so that their "pure" daughter who rides the CC can get a BB to provide for her. Trying to avoid both arranged and love marriage situations where I'm required to put my med school status up in the air.
simple_mech 8y ago
Just dismiss the question.
Jokingly say: "it's a secret" or "you have to earn that info". Anything along those lines then flip the spotlight on them.
razorwan 8y ago
Not to sound like an ass, but I feel like this would work for maybe 2 seconds for a mutual giggle before the question comes back like a boomarang dildo
Jack_Sophmore 8y ago
That would make you look like a social retard to keep your job a secret. WTF.
cleftscout 8y ago
Tell them you don't like to talk about work or school while you're out. Beating around the bush is awkward, but a consequence is that they will cost likely assume that you make a lot of money (if you're dressed well) or don't have a job (if you're in a tee shirt and sandals.)
Lying isn't a good option for a possible LTR, it could cause their hampster to activate at any time about it in the future. CC's are usually pretty easy to spot. Try telling them they need to give you a reason for you to open up because you don't tell just anyone everything.
Sergnb 8y ago
That last line is actually what I would recommend anyone to do at that situation, I have used it plenty of times and it has transformed a bland, interrogatory-esque conversation, into a tensionless, playful and enjoyable chat.
If you play it off playfully and light heartedly, making it clear that you are being intentionally defensive while still being willing to open up for the right person, the person you are talking to can interpret it as you being mysterious but not in a tryhard way, which means you are not a desperate loner, which means you have had this type of conversation before and someone may have possibly hurt you, which means two things, one: another woman has been with you (playing off the classic pivot validation), and two: you are a sensitive person but you have built walls as a defense mechanism, while at the same time you are not being weird or overly defensive about them. Needless to say, women find it really endearing, as there's at least 4 or 5 good traits you have showcased right off the bat with 1 single well said line. I encourage everyone to use it indiscriminately.
RedPope 8y ago
For anyone who needs a more detailed explanation...
Her: What do you do for a living?
Me: We don't have to talk about work. I don't care WHAT you do, I want to know WHO you are. What makes YOU interesting?
You're now demanding she demonstrate her value. She is auditioning for you. Basic bitches will be dumbfounded. They have no answer. Their life is bars, friends, and television. Watch them squirm, unable to answer.
But if you meet a woman who can pass this screening, be prepared to answer those questions yourself. One of your answers should be related to travel. Tell her of the most amazing place you've been. A wild story from somewhere exotic.
She will eventually return to her question about work, and if she passed your screening, give her a generic "I'm in the X industry" answer. It no longer matters. You will have already explored so many other avenues of conversation through this exchange. Topics far more interesting and personal. She won't classify you as "another boring worker drone" -- you're the guy who travels to amazing places and does amazing things.
Red_August 8y ago
Flipping the script to make her audition for you is excellent. One can use this in various situations too, and not just for their usual tiresome give-me-your-male-pedigree greeting bullshit. It changes the entire dynamic in a very fundamental way.
In my experience, how you deliver it entirely depends on the girl at hand - some need a hard script flip to get a good shaking for being so mechanically mercenary in asking, with others, you can also have a little fun toying with them at first - I'm a 'pet groomer', a 'pornographer' - or any random provocative answer works. They'll find that they need to work a little harder for you to take them seriously, and it can also set a lighter, flirtier tone.
razorwan 8y ago
I feel like this could come off as too strong or a deliberate play to avoid her question. I mean I guess it's the best possible choice when asked a question like this that you want to avoid.
RedPope 8y ago
Her value is less than mine. We'll talk about what I want to talk about.
Sounds all "Internet Tough Guy" when I write it out like that. Nothing could be further from the truth. For years I struggled with low self-esteem. Finally, I quit looking so much at myself, and began watching other men. I quickly realized I was holding myself to unrealistic standards.
TRP talks about striving to become the top 20% of single men. Laughably easy! Half of all men are making ZERO effort, and the majority of the remainder are clueless/brainwashed. They routinely self-sabotage through ignorance. The competition is pathetic. Women are absolutely right: The average man is a loser. He is his job. He has little else to offer.
That woman in the bar is not interested in my career. Her question is simply an early stage screening to weed out losers. I'm not one of those guys, and I prove it by taking control of the conversation and leading it to actual interesting topics. Topics that show my true value: travel, adventure, excitement.
She isn't really asking about your job. She wants to know your value. Give her the answer she wants, not the answer she asks for.
razorwan 8y ago
I get that, but how do you stop yourself from becoming an Alpha Bucks if you reveal how much you make?
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ItIsMyPrivilege 8y ago
I agree with the number points, especially the first couple.
The not paying for anything is huge. If a woman can't respect the fact you each should pay for your own shit, then she isn't someone you want to date. That may weed out a lot of girls, but shit, not a lot of girls are dateable.
If she expects me to pay for shit in my 20s, she isn't for me.
I think more guys need to hold firm to this, especially when younger. Maybe more so older? I wouldn't know as I'm young (24, please tell me I'm young) but girls shouldn't need shit from me financially, otherwise I don't really want to be sticking my dick in them, at least not for long
Edit:
Seen a ton of replies:
If you're making bank and some girl can't afford to go on vacation with you, sure get her to pay for what seems right. Get her to INVEST. This is key.
Yeah if you're going on a 3k vacation some place and she can only afford 1k, but makes 30 a year (30k take home lets say), you're having her throw like 3% of her annual income on a trip and you dropped 2.5% (80k take home) of your annual income. She invested more but you still paid for $500 of her shit. That's one way I think to generally look at it. How much is she investing or "losing" with you. The more she invests the better IMO. It shows commitment to you. If she stands to lose more when things break off (time, money, her youth, etc) then I feel better.
[deleted] 8y ago
24?! somebody call the home, we got an escapee!
[deleted] 8y ago
I agree, though I covered that in lesson 2, vetting levels of women.
Though I should say, this changed based on what your hobbies costs are and hers. The older and more established you get, the more likely you'll have to cover her to enjoy yourself.
Strictly on your own terms of course.
EscapedTheMatrix 8y ago
I have a question. If I invited a girl to get ice cream, should I buy it for her? It seems so trivial that not doing so would look really dickish, especially since I invited her out.
But at the same time, it's a first date and I don't want to set the precedent that I will be paying for our dates in the future. But again, not paying for something so small almost seems trivially selfish, like not holding the door for her or something.
Reddthrown 8y ago
Absolutely if you're young. However, if you have a good job in your mid-thirties and dating a 19 year old, you should pay for the dates you organise. That's my view anyway.
cocaine_face 8y ago
That's typically been my experience/idea too.
If a girl has a job and is earning money, then she pays around half. I'm probably making a bit more than her, so I'll occasionally cover something, if we're fucking.
With girls who are pretty young and either don't have a job or are making maybe $100/week or something, I'll typically pay, because the cost isn't very great for me, and it's a good expression of power - as long as she understands you're doing it as an expression of power, and not because you're worshiping her holy vagina.
Thizzlebot 8y ago
What's the difference? I understand what you are trying to say but the end result is still the same.
cocaine_face 8y ago
It really isn't.
Sometimes I want to go out to a place.
A girl can't pay. I know she can't pay, it's not just a way of using my resources. I want her there anyway. Perhaps she's hot as fuck and will give me good social proof. Perhaps I've fucked her before.
I'll offer to take them (on rare occasions) because it is my benefit. You have to play it by ear - recognize who is making a play to play you like a fool and extract resources from you for no benefit.
Thizzlebot 8y ago
Ah yes thats the point I was missing. It's more of bringing her along just to show you can, not just paying to be "nice".
Philhelm 8y ago
That's a fair point. If money isn't really an issue, it also establishes a position of power to be the one who gives.
Zebleblic 8y ago
So if you make 80g and your so is making 30g and you want to do something they can't afford you won't pay for them? If I want my gf to go skiing, I'll have to pay for a lot of the shit because she just can't afford to do it. I'd make her split the hotel and buy one or two of the meals, but I'll have to pay her rentals and lift passes. It's not that she really even wants to go, it's that I want her to come learn and enjoy it with me.
Zagiggity 8y ago
I feel like in this situation, you find things she can be responsible for. If you're paying, she's making sure bags make it to the room, that you get a massage, and she contributes to the overall experience. This exchange doesn't always have to be monetary - she can still work for your your time/commitment.
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robonubbins 8y ago
GF and random ho are two different things. There is additional investment in a LTR where you receive other value from her (cooking, cleaning, whatever it is in your house).
If some plate wants you to pay for everything, GTFO.
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rpscrote 8y ago
rule of reason, which is implied in everything on TRP.
I wont tell a girl what I do, how much I make, or pay for shit until she's abundantly proved she's not a gold digger. Then I just pay when I feel like it or do the ol every other sort of thing. I'll pay if there's something I want to do she cant afford like you say, but that's only when its hit LTR and she's been thoroughly vetted.
Philhelm 8y ago
A smart gold digger would offer to pay for you, charm the hell out of you, and play the loooooong game.
ChairBorneMGTOW 8y ago
And a man with practised "fake beta game" can spin that plate for months or years. Been there, done that.
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MoneyStatusLooks 8y ago
What if you make $600k and she makes $30k and you want to go on some badass vacation and bring her along. No way can she afford this shit. I'm not subverting my lifestyle and living like a poor man just so she doesnt have to pay for shit. I don't care if i'm seen as a provider or whatever, I want to live like a king.
I dont agree with the hiding what your net worth/income thing as well. I'm proud as fuck that i'm wealthy and what I do for a living. I don't go around opening people with "hi I make $600k, how are you" but if someone asks me what I do, or asks me how much I make, I might skirt around it, but they are knowing that i'm rich and proud. You think if you ask Donald Trump how much he makes he starts trying to hide it? No, if it's an important part of who you are, you are proud of it, you hold frame and tell them that you make a fucking tonne of money and are the shit. Never be ashamed of being better than other people.
[deleted] 8y ago
I make excellent money. I don't tell people how much. It's never been an issue.
Chances are, if you're breaking the 200k mark, people know. There are too many signs, no need to actively advertise. I guarentee people are quite aware you're in a different tier. They're probably aware you're several tiers up. Especially women.
Tell them if you like, just expect it to pile on more gold diggers. That's up to you. In my experience it is much easier to vet girls when they don't know precisely or even close to the amount. As long as you exude abundance mentality, tempered with repeatability.
That being said, what works for you does, I can't know. I very much appreciate the perspective though.
On buying things so that she can do them with you, I have no problem with this. None at all, shit I've bought a computer for a girl, I'll be taking one on a cruise with me this upcoming summer, I'll cover high cost trips and venues.
But these are rare gifts and it's explicitly paid for at my discretion. If anyone asks for something, they're speeding towards to door at an accelerated rate. The only exceptions being my 3 closest friends (who are serial entrepreneurs) so with them there's always payback. Not exactly the same, yes?
Above all maintain equivalent exchange. She gives you what you desire at a higher value than what she costs you. I wrote in the rule since few men I interact with understand this, and it's sorely misunderstood among those who need it most. It must always be YOUR choice, and your benevolence. Not her wants.
Thanks again for the comment. It got me thinking.. I love that most about this community.
hirjd 8y ago
Difference is, you decided how to spend your money. Spend it on a girl? Your choice. But these blue pill fags give up that choice to the woman. Woman wants new shoes and tells the guy and he buys it. A good litmus test is whether she would be angry with you if you didn't buy it for her. If she would, and she would punish you for not spending, then your money is her money and you're a fag. But if she'd still be happy and willing to spend quality time with you then it's your money. Just don't use my logic to be an idiot and get scammed. Which is why spending should almost always be YOUR original idea.
foldpak111 8y ago
I'm an entrepreneur that's still coming up. Flaunt that shit homie. Nothing but motivation for guys like me. I wonder what all the people who hated on you when you were coming up are doing. Lol don't even want to know
CQC3 8y ago
HIS SO MAKES 30K WAGE GAP CONFIRMED.
It's true though, if you make 600k you'd probably have to really fucking TRY hard to hide the fact that you're wealthy. There are just things that come with that sort of income that are flags of wealth.
People might not know you make 600k, but if you make that much I'd wager it's probably going to be easy to assume based off lifestyle and looks that you make 200k+, unless you're one of those lifestyle fucks that lives out in the desert in a fucking hut with nothing but a desk, a bed and a transistor radio along with some coloring books.
foldpak111 8y ago
Make 600k can confirm live in desert hut come at me
Zebleblic 8y ago
Well if I was making 600k you know she would be a stay at home mom pumping out and looking after kids.
CQC3 8y ago
See that all the time near where I live, wealthy fathers and the moms look almost as good as the daughters because all they do is workout, buy the best products, get the best services and eat the best food.
MoneyStatusLooks 8y ago
Yeah, I see that in the future. Im only 27, so thats not happening yet.
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Algernoq 8y ago
What the fuck do you do that makes $600k a year?
I worked like hell to get an engineering degree and I struggle to net $60k a year after taxes.
I'm guessing you're in either high-end sales or have a product business...
[deleted] 8y ago
600k? Many ways to make that. The difference is active or passive.
Active? The right connections plus /or a decade of specific training plus a few years of high level vetting.
Passive? Inherritance. Severe corporate lawsuit. Prodigy. Serial investor or entrepreneur. Possibly lucky single investment (Google in 99 level, Apple before the iPhone. Etc.)
foldpak111 8y ago
Business ownership for sure.
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Philhelm 8y ago
He lost more money wasting time on his post than I make in a year.
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bluedrygrass 8y ago
He was obviously talking about taking a coffee and the likes. The case you mentioned is rare and specific anyway. It doesn't usually happen. Usually males always offer to pay for things their females could probably afford better than them.
Zebleblic 8y ago
I hate paying twice for fast food shit. It just takes so much longer. Just alternate who pays and get it done and over with. But who really cares about 5$ honestly.
ItIsMyPrivilege 8y ago
I like the alternate paying thing. I pay for chipotle today, you pay for chinese tomorrow or whatever it is
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blacwidonsfw 8y ago
I make a lot of money and I care about 5$. Besides it's not about the money it's about showing where you stand to a girl.
Zebleblic 8y ago
Well if it's a short term of under a month I agree, but if it's over a month, just take turns paying and quit dicking around with payments. Just wasting time
randomkloud 8y ago
people earning single-digits an hour
Zebleblic 8y ago
If you only make single digits an hour you probably need to quit going out with girls and invest some time in yourself.
randomkloud 8y ago
true, but we all know men dont behave rationally around women.
jimjackjoe 8y ago
your tl;dr at the end should be your summary at the beginning. right now your summary says "i'm about to explain to you about value"--it doesn't summarize your message. i'm only pointing this out because you mentioned you wanted to adhere to the new formatting rules.
[deleted] 8y ago
Thank you, let me do a better summary. I'll get on that. I really appreciate the feedback.
NegitiveSinX 8y ago
OP, could you put links to your previous posts you mention to make it easier for us to go back and read them?
[deleted] 8y ago
Uhm... Yeah I guess I can do that. Anyone can access them by searching their names or checking my submitted content. They're the only things in it. Don't have access to my computer today but late tonight or tomorrow I can do that.
joshsoowong 8y ago
I broke the first rule of value. A group if males and females were sitting on the front porch. One of the females asked me what my job currently is. I told them. But this was after I asked another male what he did.
-Quotidian 8y ago
To a point. What you are seen or known to do or to have done certainly shapes how the world--and the people in it--behave around and towards you...but one of the main messages of TRP is that we are more than what we have become. In the business sense: yes, absolutely. In terms of value...possibly more so. You don't need to see someone lift or read to figure out that they're big or well-read, after all. But you don't need to be seen every step of the way.
This was uncommonly cogent. Thanks.
RPmatrix 8y ago
yes, and some people observe and deduce a lot from a little e.g I wrote a brief 'release' form for a guy I was working for, after a contract went south, and as he watched me he simply said "you have great handwriting, it's unusual to see someone write like that these days". I was writing in cursive. It impressed him! It's surprising what can/does with different people.
That was a turning point in our relationship as he realized there was a LOT more to 'me' than he had first thought. I spoke to him yesterday, coincidentally
Dale Carnegie was the first I know of to explain this behavior and it's potential benefits in How to Win Friends and Influence People
This guy has a mid sized construction business and since then has continued to send work our way, also, we have never had ANY problems working with this guy, he's open to our ideas and is wise enough to know a good thing when he hears it, it's a pleasure working with his company.
You would never pick most of the very wealthy people I know/have worked for or with, as they don't display it. I have friends who could afford stables of supercars and drive a VW of Ford! They don't want people knowing about them, they already have enough people that already do and 'want to put a finger in their pie' one way or another. Being very rich can be rather lonely as you never know who's out for your money unless you only associate with people of a similar or higher income
This guy is one of those very wealthy guys but you'd never guess it from how he looks, it's only his extremely relaxed manner which gives him away a little, otherwise to look at you'd never guess! His wife is an archeologist and he has 2 girls under 10! Lives in an upper middle suburb in a nice but nothing special house. And a thriving construction business! He was telling me last year that "his accountant insists he spend more money and at least, that he buys a new car!" haha! I wish!
I've come to know him quite well and all through my handwriting! Who would've thought!?
TL:DR
It's an old saying 'don't judge a book by it's cover' ... especially in countries like Australia where 'ostentatious displays of wealth' are seen by the really Rich as "vulgar" .. so they don't happen to much down here, you're just as likely to be called a dickhead for driving a supercar by your mates as be admired for it!
You will often never know that a person's very wealthy, unless they want you to know
What was that conman who faked being a pilot's name? IME there are lots of wannabe type people in this world, people who will "talk the talk" BUT can't/don't "walk the walk" as they're faking it.
Sure TRP says 'fake it till you make it' but there's a point where 'faking' = lying, and you don't want to get to that point.
Think of those hedgefund traders who fucked up big time and tried to 'gamble harder' to 'win it back' ... as Kenny once said, "You've got to know when to hold em, and when to fold em, and when to walk away" before you get caught as a fake"
don't be that guy who gets called on his 'high level' bullshit, it's social suicide and recovery is extremely difficult
Nice try OP, better than most who don't even bother trying in the first place and you've begun an interesting discussion, cool
[deleted] 8y ago
I'd agree. Sort of. Trp tells us we can be more, if we were already more people wouldn't be here learning and struggling to be more in the first place.
narazz 8y ago
When is half life 3 coming out?
mightysultan 8y ago
Awesome post, great content.
grachuss 8y ago
This is actually something I'm curious about. I make about $150k a year with my job and real estate. Yet, I love wearing t-shirts shorts and flip flops everywhere i go. I have an old car that gets good milage.
Do I have to buy a nice car and clothes or does it matter?
rollinstone123 8y ago
Try it out and see how you like it. You are the valuable one regardless of what you wear and drive. So why not go get a bespoke suit for a few grand (which you will/already need for work anyway) and test drive an expensive car? If you enjoy the experience then go for it. I like dressing nice and driving nice cars but still have old t shirts with holes in them that I wear because I want to.
[deleted] 8y ago
Do you want a new car and nice clothes?
If so, go out there and get those things. If not, there's nothing wrong with having an older model that gets good mileage and dressing the way that you want to.
It's all about living the life that you want. Nobody here can answer these sorts of things for you.
blacwidonsfw 8y ago
I think dressing nice can double your perceived smv. A car doesn't really matter,
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 8y ago
Depends on the situation.
I drive up a hand me down that is 13 years old, it is rusting (cant do anything), 230k miles. I never had a decent car. For me, I think having a good car is in need, and something that will last me for a while.
rpscrote 8y ago
getting nice looking clothes pays dividends. It doesn't need to be expensive, it just needs to look good and fit you properly. Often times more expensive things are higher quality but not always. I usually do moderate quality + quality tailor = nice looking but affordable.
newls 8y ago
I only buy new clothes once a year because I'm extremely Laconic and frugal, but charity shops (I think you call them 'goodwill' shops in America) can have very nice clothes at really low prices.
jaimewarlock 8y ago
I am like you, I hate formal clothes. I still wear t-shirts & cutoffs, but now I try to make sure they are new. Don't wear out your tennis shoes, make sure they are new and a decent brand. Switch your flip-flops to the form fitting Birkenstocks.
The same with your car, keep it. New paint job, new seats, replace the upholstery, ect. Spend a few grand.
Now you look quirky and kept your old values. That has it's own sexual appeal.
newls 8y ago
I prefer casual clothes but I only buy new stuff once a year, or two years. I have a pair of Converse that I've beaten to death for about 8 years. They're pretty stylish and comfortable so I'm getting the exact same pair as a replacement.
Though I do like to look good in formal wear, I only pick extremely well-fitting stuff, and the 6% bf definitely helps.
London-Bananas 8y ago
Only buy what you need, 99% of Americans are in debt simply because they buy shit they can't afford to impress others.
You can totally get away with driving a beater car if you hold frame. Women will shit test you to the end of the world for it because your car doesn't provide any value or status to them
laere 8y ago
Those people are called sidewalkers according to fastlane millionaire. They put themselves in debt just to appear rich, yet they provide no value outside of self-consumerism and watching tv all day. Then they wonder why they're in debt.
RedBigMan 8y ago
Don't forget that some older model cars (as in 20+ years old) actually look distinctive compared to the cars of today which all more or less look the same except for the logo slapped on the hood/trunk which can be a bonus even if the thing is a beater.
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ProductivityMonster 8y ago
I don't believe this. Sure, there are some idiots who do spend frivolously, but most are in debt from student loans, mortgage, medical bills, etc. - necessarily things for all but the rich to progress in life.
London-Bananas 8y ago
Although loans and medical bills are unfortunate for US citizens because of how fucked their system is, a mortgage is for a house to show off or because your wife "just fell in love with it"
I can't link on TRP but search for the all time top posts on this sub, there's one called "to be a man is to be a slave" or something like that.
Piroko 8y ago
Well, I dunno if you're in business, but you're certainly not in writing because Robert Heinlein did a much better job of explaining value in Starship Troopers.
[deleted] 8y ago
Of course he did. I'm certain it's been done better by many people. I'm just doing what I can. Every post I'll improve.
redzorp 8y ago
Really? You're comparing a posting on a Reddit sub to the writings of an internationally renowned novelist?
No shit Sherlock. Famous novelists will generally do a better job writing. So what. They aren't posting here. We are.
Geleemann 8y ago
And yet here you are putting in your "$0.02" while also providing no value to the discussion; not even a hint of what the OP could do better, or change.
Hardparty 8y ago
please elaborate because i love Starship Troopers
Questionablechoice 8y ago
"Value" has no meaning other than in relationship to living beings. The value of a thing is always relative to a particular person, is completely personal and different in quantity for each living human — "market value" is a fiction, merely a rough guess at the average of personal values, all of which must be quantitatively different or trade would be impossible. … This very personal relationship, "value", has two factors for a human being: first, what he can do with a thing, its use to him… and second, what he must do to get it, its cost to him. There is an old song which asserts that "the best things in life are free". Not true! Utterly false! This was the tragic fallacy which brought on the decadence and collapse of the democracies of the twentieth century; those noble experiments failed because the people had been led to believe that they could simply vote for whatever they wanted… and get it, without toil, without sweat, without tears. … I fancy that the poet who wrote that song meant to imply that the best things in life must be purchased other than with money — which is true — just as the literal meaning of his words is false. The best things in life are beyond money; their price is agony and sweat and devotion . . . and the price demanded for the most precious of all things in life is life itself — ultimate cost for perfect value."
"You! I've just awarded you the prize for the hundred-meter dash. Does it make you happy? […] No dodging, please. You have the prize — here, I'll write it out: 'Grand prize for the championship, one hundred-meter sprint.' " He had actually come back to my seat and pinned it on my chest. "There! Are you happy? You value it — or don't you?" Mr. Dubois had looked surprised. "It doesn't make you happy?" "You know darn well I placed fourth!" "Exactly! The prize for first place is worthless to you . . . because you haven't earned it. But you enjoy a modest satisfaction in placing fourth; you earned it."
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Algernoq 8y ago
From "Starship Troopers" via Wikiquote:
Sounds pretty RP...Heinlein thinks that if no one except soldiers could vote then there would be no Decline because soldiers would know better than to keep voting themselves benefits until civilization collapses.
Anger Phase
red4455 8y ago
Had no idea, thanks for posting the quote, totally RP.
jimjackjoe 8y ago
ok, so i am not crazy for not being able to comprehend his actual point. thank you. everyone else seems to "get it" so easy and it is 96% upvoted right now--what is it that i do not comprehend that they all comprehend? i am glad someone did not comprehend along with me.
[deleted] 8y ago
Ask me a question. I'm certain learning to explain more universally will help me out, and maybe I'll even help you.
jimjackjoe 8y ago
well your post is stickied and has 8.8 million upvotes, so obviously you can explain universally in a universal sense. why do you think this is?
[deleted] 8y ago
No idea. You still haven't really given me a specific question. Do you mean what is it you don't comprehend? Why don't you comprehend it? Why do others comprehend it?
I suppose I could say the tldr is the most simple way of putting it, and it has been edited several times since your post, maybe scan it again?
jimjackjoe 8y ago
upon reflection, I guess that was a gayley-obtuse question, my bad.
to me your post boils down to something like "developing inwardly is the most important way to develop because you will also develop outwardly by extension. prioritize inward development." i don't think it's much more complex than that, yet here's all this explanation and writing around it.
like this:
this is so complex and difficult for me to follow (yes, i understand finance--that's not the confusing part). all the metaphors get mixed up and jumbled (as far as i can tell--apparently most people understood fully). how can this clarify anything to anyone?
to me, the point of writing is to simplify, not make things more complex. however, i do believe this type of post helps clarify and simplify something for a certain type of mind--just not mine. I've seen a lot of posters developing these complex, systematic inner-theories, and i'm always left thinking: how does splitting hairs so much really help them? but i do believe it helps people like you, don't get me wrong.
the inner-workings of your mind must be quite different from mine. it's kind of cool actually. takes all types. so i guess overall your post startled me because it made me recognize how much men vary in the way they process/understand things.
[deleted] 8y ago
Wow. That's really insightful. I appreciate the input! I think a good idea from now on would be to avoid metaphors.
You see, I write a lot for my company, at least I used to, (we have a writing team now) mostly anthologies and mechanics, so I'm used to explaining something using multiple metaphors, and for people looking for reference material on a Fantasy landscape.
I've always had an editor/copy editor to work side by side with me, but I don't use business resources for personal posts of course.
I really wish there were some RP editing sub where you could run posts by accredited editors before submitting. I'll definitely apply your thoughts in the future, at the very least in the tldr and summary.
Thank you again for the illumination.
Jack_Sophmore 8y ago
All I know is I VALUE my time too much to read through this whole thing. It seems to be rambling and incoherent and he makes several assertions without giving any substantiating reasoning behind his ideas. These are meaningless feel good platitudes and I suspect OP just downed a venti latte and has too much energy right now.
red4455 8y ago
Same here, didn't really follow/understand the whole thing. Although some points I can nod to, I feel the whole business angle isn't a good one to use.
DeputyDelicious 8y ago
On mobile, but will edit with specific quotes later. This shit is way too longwinded and word choice is very wtf. Couple gems in here though. To be clear I agree with you. I feel like people upvoted this after reading like 2 paragraphs, but not the whole post.
ElectroSauce 8y ago
I agree, I found the piece difficult to parse.
__Archaeus__ 8y ago
This is an incredible post. I have not felt the world makes so much sense.
MY value is something I build with the currency of time.
This should be sidebar material.
Thank you.
TRPJZ 8y ago
It would be nice if you linked your past links to this post since you mentioned them.
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