As we know, the Relationshit Relationship Advice sub often acts as an unintentional source of Red Pill truth. A few days ago I happened across a particularly interesting thread. What happens when your girlfriend's ex is Chad Thundercock himself? The story and comments from the Blue Pill peanut gallery are quite revealing. Let's walk through the post. Bolded lines have been added by me for emphasis.
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I've been dating my girlfriend, "Liz," for almost two years now. We, frankly, have an amazing relationship-- we're compatible in so many ways. She's my best friend and I can't imagine life without her.
Right off the bat we can see that this guy is deeply Blue Pill. "Best friend," "can't imagine life without her." Remember guys - anytime a girl refers to you as her "best friend," that's a pretty good indicator that you're in her Frame and that she sees you as beneath her.
You are not your girlfriend's "friend." You're her lover. But in today's Blue Pill paradigm, we're all equal and there are no authority figures. Everybody is everybody's friend. Parents are friends with their kids. Teachers are friends with their students. Naturally this sets the stage for a volatile and detrimental relationship.
As to "can't imagine life without her," I truly hope that everything works out for this guy in the end, because he's already on the road to putting a noose around his neck if they ever break up.
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She's always buying me little gifts, and she says I'm the best sex partner she's ever had. Sometimes she'll brag to her friends on zoom about how wonderful she finds me, and sometimes her friends say they are jealous! In short, she's such a sweet girl with a big heart and we love each other. These past two years have actually been the best ones of my life.
This segment is more interesting for what it doesn't say. It doesn't say that she finds him sexy. It doesn't say that she finds him hot and handsome. Being the "best sex partner" =/= being the most sexually gratifying.
I've been on both sides. Pre-Red Pill, one of my "girlfriends" always told me how sweet, funny, generous, and kind I was. What she didn't say was that I was hot or sexy. In several months of being together, she never once let me have sex with her or expressed any interest in doing so. In retrospect, I don't think she was ever sexually aroused by me.
Post-Red Pill, I met a girl for whom I was clearly a physical and sexual ideal. We had sex within 30 minutes of meeting and went on to date for over a year. She constantly told me how hot I was, how I brought out every nasty sexual fantasy in her. She never once said I was nice; instead, she often called me an asshole. And - not to gloss myself - she once said I was "such an Alpha."
To be clear for the spergs, there's nothing wrong with being "nice," but if that's all you are, then you're in trouble. Girl #2 once said something like "you're an asshole, but I know deep down you can be sweet." You want to aim for Han Solo, the scoundrel with the heart of gold. You need her to believe that she brought out the sweetness in you with her feminine charm, it wasn't just given away for free.
All that mushy stuff aside, here's the issue...
Well first, I should add that Liz is way out of my league, physically. She's like, a real life Instagram model. My buddies say they are jealous of me. Sometimes strangers hitting on her in public is a bit of an issue, and I can only imagine what her DMs look like... As for me, I think I'm a 5/10. Liz says she thinks I'm attractive, and I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but... It's hard not to feel a little insecure when your SO is a total catch and you look like a mountain goat.
I will agree with the peanut gallery here and say that OP probably has some self-esteem issues. If this girl really is an HB9 Instagram model, then I highly doubt that OP is really that ugly.
I'd say that OP perhaps was a 5/10 during high school and college, gaining several points during his early 20s. But while his body is a 7 or 8, his mind still sees himself as a 5. That's very unfortunate, but it's common. It takes time to internalize your own physical appeal if you weren't always the hawt guy.
That said, assuming this girl really is a point or two above him, the relationship is indeed unstable. Who knows why she got with him. Maybe his family is rich. Perhaps he's an engineer at Apple or something and makes some serious bank. If she really is IG model-level hot, then it's possible that she went through an earlier Epiphany Phase. I often see this with hot girls, who mature much faster than Plain Janes because they spend much of their youth around older men.
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Before Liz and I got together, she dated a guy who I'll call Chad. Now I'm a pretty straight guy when it comes to orientation, but even i can see that Chad was... physically appealing. He looked like he came straight out of Bay Watch or something. I saw an old picture of he and Liz embracing on the beach in their swimwear, and honestly they both look stunning.
However, other than that I know very little about Chad. Liz never talked about him, other than to say that they dated for eight months and he was a colossal asshole. That does bring me some comfort.
Anytime a girl calls an ex an "asshole," that's a Red Flag for possible Alpha Widow. Again, you should be that (lovable) asshole in her life.
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So, the event--
Liz was in a zoom group with her girlfriends, just chatting about stuff. She does that a lot, especially with the quarantine stuff obviously. I was in our room upstairs (we live together in a university apartment) browsing reddit. I felt the need to pee so I silently slipped out of my room and started to make my way downstairs. This brought me within earshot of Liz on her laptop.
I was going to just walk down to the bathroom, but I froze on the stairs when I heard my name said by one of Liz's friends on zoom. (Liz virtually never uses headphones.) I didn't hear exactly what was said, but I did hear another friend say "What about Chad? Does everyone remember him?" There was a flurry of talking about Chad that I couldn't't quite decipher, but I do know that Liz said "oh my god you guys" in a funny/exasperated tone. I did get a flutter of anxiety when I heard his name though. Then someone said in a playful whiny voice "why'd you get rid of Chad, Liz? He was our eye candy!" There was some laughing. Then another friend said "yeah, now we have OP. " It was in a complaining tone, and honestly it hurt. A real punch to the chest, even if they tried to play it off as a joke. At this point, I'd expect Liz to defend me... Which she kinda did... By saying "oh my God, you guys. I know OP isn't eye candy like Chad, but he's an amazing guy. Chad was an ass."
Hearing that was more than a punch in the chest, I felt my whole body just freeze. And a lump immediately formed in my throat. I really wish I could focus on the positive of her saying that I'm amazing, but all I can think about is her saying that Chad was "eye candy," and I'm wasn't.
I eventually was able to compose myself and walk down to the bathroom. Liz greeted me and I said hi like nothing happened. But I was shattered inside.
It's been a couple of days since I overheard her say the Chad thing. She's been pretty wrapped up with work, so thankfully I haven't had to put on much of a performance. But I've had a lot of time to think... I've turned that moment over and over again in my mind. I know that Liz really loves me... But the fact is that, no matter how much she cares about me, no matter how compatible we are in other areas, Chad is categorically superior to me in one particular area. Liz finds him objectively more aesthetically pleasing than me. There's no way around it.
I want to be Liz's best everything. I want to be her best emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. But there's one area I can never be her best. And that just hurts, so bad.
Now we're reaching the crux of OP's dilemma. On some level, I think all guys want to be told they're sexy, handsome, hot, and so on. They want that genuine desire. Something in OP's peripheral awareness is signaling that his girlfriend doesn't have that raw, feral sexual desire for him. Most guys will simply bury those feelings and use Blue Pill logic to rationalize them away. That is, until they're confronted with unignorable evidence to the contrary. For those who haven't, I urge you to read Rollo's "Saving the Best" essay.
That's why strippers and cam girls are so appealing. A stripper once explained to me that "I don't sell sex. I sell fantasy." It's about feeling desired. Guys come in for the illusion and fantasy of experiencing what they never received from their wives and girlfriends. It's actually quite sad.
Now to the comments, which consist of the typical Blue Pill fare. I'll paste a few of the common sentiments. It's appalling to read. Straight gaslighting that completely invalidates this guy's feelings. Naturally we all know that if this story was posted by a girl, the peanut gallery would be clamoring for her to dump him with all the usual "you deserve better, girl" nonsense.
OP is huffing like a child over her not defending him correctly.
He’s being pissy and petty
You don't need to talk to your gf about this, you need to talk to a therapist. The problem is 100% you and not her.
Dude, with this attitude of yours, you are going to ruin a good relationship with your gf. Stop being an idiot.
Note that OP has done nothing to merit this level of vitriol. He never says a bad word about his girlfriend anywhere in the post. But because it seems like he's verging on a Red Pill moment of clarity, the natural response of the Blue Pill mob is to beat him into submission. Man up, do what you're told, stop being a pussy and get over it. At best, we have the legions of Post-Wall women and Beta males who weigh in with similar stories, assuring OP that everything is okay, go back to sleep, just ignore the man behind the curtain.
This is why the Blue Pill is so fucking confusing. These women probably really do love their husbands, but in a platonic sense...not a raw, feral, lusty sense. There are so many marriages and relationships that seem happy. Maybe they even have sex. But now OP will always have this nagging doubt over whether his girlfriend does the same thing in bed for him that she did for Chad.
Addendum
Alright, I see I'm catching some flak for the "you're such an Alpha" anecdote. See my full response in the comments. Obviously I don't mean to say that a girl has to literally tell you that you're hot, Alpha, whatever to show genuine desire. She can demonstrate that well enough through her actions. In both of my examples, the actions backed up the words.
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_decay_ 3y ago
what I'd answer to that redditor is: so fucking what if an ex is more appealing than you? that doesn't mean anything! she's with you now! I'm currently single, but my most attractive ex hasn't been the one I've been the most fond of. My last gf was a 10/10, beautiful, like a doll. Yeah sex was amazing but she wasn't my most fun or enjoyable relationship, not because of anything wrong with her, it's just that she really hasn't been my favorite, and there's nothing wrong with that. I know I wasn't the most attractive guy she's ever dated, and that never bothered me, why should it? I know I'm not really that attractive, and never will, even if I really put effort into it, so why be mad of something out of your control?
JameisBong 3y ago
If he didn't live with her, he wouldn't have to listen to her and her friends babble. There will always be a hawter, more jacked more ripped motherfucker. Live your life and don't ever give a fuck.
FortnaitPleier 3y ago
So whats your conclusion OP? I dont see anything that makes sense from you except trying to make fun of this guy who was extremely sincere...
From what i see he just got black pilled, no red pill can save you from this stuff..
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Imagine thinking your an alpha just because a girl told you so and you have a 15cm alpha dick when she has taken some 25cm iron dicks before you, how does that feel in your glorious alpha paranoia?
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Again you made an example that shits on TRP own mission and just tell me that no matter how much you try to become better it will never be enough, but yeah it will help you get laid you if you didnt previously...
trollreign 3y ago
How the fuck can he rationalize these two things at the same time:
God, that's retardation-level insecurity.
Dr_LoveRD 3y ago
If your gf , or any woman you are dating as a straight man hasn't been with anyone hotter than you, you have aimed so low you'd be better off fucking slampigs on tinder. If you are seeking high value women there's a 100% chance she has been with/is currently being hit on by guys taller, hotter and richer than you. And still, none of it matters if your frame is worth a damn
ToraChan23 3y ago
What I took from that BP post the most is that a woman’s friend group is highly important and often overlooked.
Her friend group is a huge red flag waving in a lot of men’s faces.
frontiermarine 3y ago
You can really tell from the bitter comments here are from guys that have never experienced genuine desire from women before
throwabcdaway4 3y ago
Im not sure if you are defending the idea everyone should look like bay watch ? Because no matter gow much lifting you do there will always be a more attractive guy
DubbleFUPAwitCheez 3y ago
It took me becoming red pill to realize the "my girlfriend is my best friend" idea is utterly blue. Just like the scale to measure a man and the scale to measure a woman are not the same, the scale for a best friend and a girlfriend are not either. They can not and should not be compared.
CyanMagentaYellowB 3y ago
While I agree the two are not comparable and that a line should be drawn somewhere, a long term partner should still have some of the traits that makeup a friendship. Otherwise there isn't really a point of entering a long term relationship.
uwey 3y ago
A measure of a man is how much fuck he give.
Really.
The one you need to control is your life and money, rest of things in life is just support.
You can drop your children, your wife, your girl friends, you parents, and literally sell out anyone at any given moment.
You are the most no fuck given person of the world. Perhaps most unpredictable. You are a true Alpha at that point because only thing ever hold you back is yourself.
Be prepared and did unspeakable things are two different world. Be a realist and don’t fucked up, because you only got one shot, so make it count.
pacosw 3y ago
With my ex, sometimes told her that I wanted to be best friends and she even got offended saying that I was her lover not her best friend, and she didn't want to be best friends, cause then the attraction will die off
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Xercister 3y ago
While I wasn't all red pill when I started dating the one concept that I figured out on my own is that my partner/lover/wife/ex-wife cannot be a friend. I don't date friends and I do not keep in touch with ex's after a relationship is over. I've never said, "She's my best friend..." because I never believed they could be the same. I would never do the things with a friend as I would with a lover, etc.
I'm glad that when I found TRP that my one belief was at least one thing I got right.
Bama6419 3y ago
Great point on the ex lovers. I have a few male friends that are always in contact with several ex's. I tell them that if it is an ex, then the default should be zero communication. When they shoot me surprised looks, I try and reason with them by asking them what are they getting out of the relationship. They usually have no answer, or worse, some answer that relates the emotional benefits of friendship. Then I point out all of the time, effort and money spent on the ex's and my friends get defensive and imply that I am cold-hearted. Even prior to my exposure to this sub, I never understood that need to hang on to an ex. It is a pitiful experience to watch my current girlfriend's ex's go out of their way to do shit for her even with me being present and while she is fawning on me. What is even more incredible is that sometimes her ex's will go out of their way to do nice things for me in some convoluted attempt to gain her attention and goodwill.
_Icarus_Reborn_ 3y ago
I got absolutely lambasted on my alt account in a sub for saying that exact same thing.
I can't remember the sub or post, but stated that exact thing.
All the bloopies came out and said how said they feel for me etc.
Xercister 3y ago
That's the beauty of TRP. We learn that it doesn't matter what anyone says, no fucks given. I'm going to do what I want to do and if you don't like it, well that's your problem.
You really got to love the internet. Anyone can say whatever they want because there are no repercussions. I bet these same people wouldn't have the balls to say these things to our faces if given the chance.
FoxTrot1337 3y ago
Man, my gf once told me that I was her best friend. I paused and looked at her, she was expecting it back like she just told me she loved me for the first time. I shut that shit down and told her that her best friends are her college friends or childhood friend. Mine is living 3 states over who I catch up with 2-3 times a year. Got fucking butt hurt.
_DeezNuts714_ 3y ago
That’s an autistic response.
Anonymous2k18 3y ago
at least respond with a solution if you're going to call somebody autistic lol.. how would you respond then?
purduered 3y ago
So how should guys respond then? It seems majority of this thread is that the whole gf/wife being best friend is a blue pill view of the world. Just agree and amplify?
TheGreatConst 3y ago
"It is so cute, now be a good friend and go buy me a beer."
ebaymasochist 3y ago
"Hey BUDDY.. Wanna go out and pick up some bitches tonight? Glad my 'frieNd' is coming out and not my 'gIRLfred' cause she probably wouldn't like That!!" Wink wink, elbow nudge, give her a wedgie.
She'll find her way back to her proper role.
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Schroder8823 3y ago
In reference to that last paragraph:
I'm starting to believe that any LTR will eventually turn into a platonic hellscape. You can delay it, but thirty years down the line even Chad Thundercock will have mutual feelings of lackluster.
diejager 3y ago
Well, what makes the feelings of lackluster is the downfall of competition anxiety. You can have a good LTR, provided you can maintain this competition anxiety high enough.
And the beta would say; "but the point of a relationship is to achieve safety and it is not fair to women to make her Always doubt that you are cheating on her". The point is: if you are in a relationship that your girl faces competition anxiety as you cheating on her, you failed, she is not a girl to engage in a LTR. (I'm not even gonna talk about the point of safety in something outside you os wrong).
adtheimpossible 3y ago
Okay who gives a fuck if he’s more attractive than you. There are 4 billion other men that your woman would rather fuck than you. Hollister models are probably the top-tier men that’d she start with. You going to cry your ass to sleep 3,999,999x over again? Build and maintain confidence in yourself mí amigo, YOU got DA JUICE, YOU DA MAN, walk around with another extra pep in your step and tell yourself in the mirror before you head to work in the morning,“ There ain’t no other guy I would rather trade lives with but myself, I’m a dangerous and good-looking son of a bitch.”
GetBehindMeSatan666 3y ago
Man, I cringe so much going through the relationship advise subs. I cant even read them because I pity the poor blind bastards.
If you start throwing any redpill ideologies around in there you are attacked by the mobs and have 100+ down votes in less than 10 minutes. I was recently attacked pretty hard by someone who went through and saw that I sub here and AskTRP.
Truly is sad how many men stumble around blindly with woman and their suicidal thoughts when its so obvious what they need to do even to them.. More pussy for the rest of us here I suppose
KlayThompsons_Weed 3y ago
Too many women on that sub giving their shit opinions. It’s to the point that you should follow the opposite of the advice that sub gives you.
ProductivityMonster 3y ago
ehh, if you phrase it right it'll get upvoted or at worst zeroed. Just remove all TRP terminology and don't be so dramatic/judgmental. Lead them to it - don't force it down.
GetBehindMeSatan666 3y ago
For sure but the real toxic ones dig through your comment history lol. If you mention anything as simple as hypergamy, or "all/most woman are like that" youre a crucified by the femnazis and white nights.
Most men are so blue pilled and soo desperately wanting the same love from a woman that their mother gave them, They are as blind as any animal during a rutting season.
The old saying "Lead a horse to water". I have abandoned friends for being so BP'd and blinded they are beyond help and unwilling to see any other spectrum. Thats relationship advise subs in a nutshell.
EDIT: I posted the sub on accident and my original comment was removed. Forgot we cant do that. Understandably so
ProductivityMonster 3y ago
The comment should be so well-phrased as to not have anyone be digging through your comment history, but I agree it's a bitchy move for people with no life.
sers00100 3y ago
Just Fuck her best friend (female friend) and compare then.
2bitgun 3y ago
I agree it's more a problem with him than it is than it is with her. When all the covid shit ends he should hit the gym.
beyonderdabas 3y ago
Doesn't matter keep the frame steady
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taroopher 3y ago
I personally dont care about being pretty. Men are meant to be ugly. We are not supose to impress girls. If you cant stand her ex I recomend you find another gf. I left my ex because she enjoyed making sex with her ex more than me. I was offended because sex is something very sad to be compared. I just found another gf. My new girlfriend has an ex who is really pretty. I don’t fucking care it does not have anything to do with me. As long it’s not related to sex I don’t care.
[deleted] 3y ago
normies..
brasilgringo 3y ago
Allow me to direct you to the timeless poetry of Steel Panther where the OP can find his appropriate reactions:
TLDR, Panther-style:
You really want me to be some other guy
But I can't even try, cause that guy's a lie
And when I try to be him, I just wanna cry
So that guy should die, that fuckin' guy should just die!
I wasted too much time fucking you!
I wasted too much money buying shit for you, too!
Wasted too much time fucking you!
Funkypianopleya 3y ago
Dude the comment is perfect, It definitely is his fault. This sub is full of comments like this. Get over yourself, it is not her fault its yours. Take responsibility for your own life and stop living for her and start living for yourself. Do you think Chad ever thought about what she thought about him... obviously not, That's why he was an asshole.
He does need to work on himself to become more confident and stop worrying about the other guy. If the girl ends up leaving him let her go. Learn to love your self over your partner and if she ever leaves replace her with someone else.
I've been in love before and been cheated on. I had enough self love that i dumped her ass on the spot. Sure it hurt but you move on to the next plate and the next and the next.
catsdontsmile 3y ago
Honestly he's 100% at fault. He needs to stop crying and go lift. He says he wants to do the apple of her eye but doesn't do shit about it. Being attractive is 70% effort, 30% DNA
compositionzero 3y ago
There's no helping someone like that. He probably works in video games and will apologize on twitter for being a serial rapist when she accuses him of grooming her ten years from now.
0ToTheLeft 3y ago
Leaving all red/blue pill logic aside, the dude is stupid. If i see a photo of an ex of my gf, and the dude is ripped with 6 pack and blue eyes, i dont need to spy on her zoom sesions to know that that dude is physically more atractive than me lol. What kind of stupid fantasy he created on his head?
The main problem is that this dude views his girlfriend as an unicorn, and he faced the reality that he is not her unicorn. She fucked someone more attractive than you? big deal dude, how fucking mentally weak you need to be to be so affected by this?
Another important thing to notice, see how their girlfrieds talks about him and chad? That is the biggest red flag you can get, when their friends are stupid superficial bitches, do you really expect that your unicorn is going to be any different? Common...we PICK friendships, if she is surronded by stupid hoes, you should be able to do the math. No real (good-person) friend will talk shit like that about your current partner, is disrespectful to him and her. If one of her girlfriends talks like that about me, i expect her to be upset and put the bitch in his place, that is how a worthy-LTR women would behave.
ToraChan23 3y ago
He thinks that him being the “good guy” boyfriend compensated for his lack of sex appeal.
He couldn’t be any more incorrect.
Hnsl245 3y ago
It’s not about the color of the eyes you absolute moron it’s about the eyes’ shape, if anything dark eyes are the most preferred by women on men https://www.theawl.com/2010/06/why-you-lust-for-brown-eyed-men/
“tall, dark and handsome”
Vynxe-Vainglory 3y ago
I don’t know about that. Girls go absolutely crazy for striking blue eyes. I’ve never heard them say anything about any other color eyes. Nothing.
This article seems to be talking about other masculine facial features, and I’d say that those are still a requirement even if you have blue eyes as the test suggests, but faces being similar, I’d bet on the blue being preferred.
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Casanova-Quinn 3y ago
I agree. This dude naively thought everything was perfect until he realized that his model tier girlfriend had a model tier ex boyfriend. Like no shit dude, what did you expect? You think this model chick was only banging average Joes? This dude is insecure and it will probably ruin his relationship down the road.
RedGille 3y ago
exactly.
fuck everything else - it's only what YOU DO NOW with what you have on your hands that matters, not who she fucked before you or even what she still thinks about him.
And that is called frame. The only problem OP has is lousy frame.
Instead of keeping his big terrible secret inside, he should have laughed about it straight to her face, find some gay name for that Chad and make fun of him.
It was an inadvertent shit test and he failed it.
CDBaller 3y ago
If he had any kind of frame, he would lift. He's just bought into the perception that his body can't improve beyond the soft ball of fat it currently is.
ToraChan23 3y ago
Making up a gay name for Chad and making fun of him isn’t maintaining frame; it’s a childish thing to do and indicates that he makes you feel some type of way.
A winner never has to talk down to their competition.
bjcm5891 3y ago
I really loathe to be one of these guys who obsesses over "alpha" or "beta", but for me there's nothing more alpha than getting on great with her ex (should your paths cross) and being completely unaffected by the notion that this guy and her used to date.
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TheMailmanic 3y ago
Straight facts lol. That's the thing about bp mindset though... BPers think that girls are turned on by a nice guy who doesn't lift because muh personality. The entire BP worldview is a fantasy in denial of reality
0ToTheLeft 3y ago
Thing is, you dont need to be the most attractive guy, yeah you should maxime your SMV when possible, but holding frame is going to be far more important that if your abs shows on the instagram pics or not. The dude doesn't understand how he landed the HB9 and doesn't understand how to manage the relationship long term, plus is up to his neck in BP fantasy. The reality check is going to be brutal, he is going to hit a wall at 900mph.
Hnsl245 3y ago
This retard doesn’t even know his shit, dark eyes are the most preferred by women since they are the most dominant colour trait. It’s “tall, dark and handsome” not “skinny pale and weak”
bjcm5891 3y ago
I have blue eyes and (after my voice) it is the physical trait I've received the most compliments from by girls over the years.
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Turkerthelurker 3y ago
The "dark" is referring to a tan.
Eye color is very subjective and women have different preferences. Novelty is attractive, whether that be green, hazel, blue, or unusually dark eyes.
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Hnsl245 3y ago
Sorry I thought you were the guy I replied to before, I take my insults back. Read this to understand my point better:
Women go after dominant/dark/masculine traits. These traits include height, wide shoulders, dark hair/eyes etc. you get the point. It’s why women go after dudes like Michele Morrone. Being aesthetically pleasing is really important but being also dominant is what concludes your appearance, it’s that which dark eyes manage to do on an aesthetically pleasing face with hunter eyes. It’s where the phrase “tall, dark and handsome” comes from, it’s about emanating dominance and masculinity
Aside from that and from a completely fair and logical judgement from some of the comments that I read on your profile, you are an absolute autist, a completely sexually inexperienced nerd and you shouldn’t even utter a thing about sexual dynamics, you don’t know shit about what women want and I am cringing hard rereading your sentences with that knowledge now. You don’t know a thing about women and it shows in the most cringy ways, spend more time reading books and lifting weights if you ever want to improve, I am saying this for your own sake
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Turkerthelurker 3y ago
Haha all good. That last part was brutal
shawdowr 3y ago
This is the most real comment. Thank you
tuckermalc 3y ago
Ditch her, like you should've done ages ago.
bone_shadows 3y ago
this is a very long, non abridged version of "alpha fucks beta bucks" i couldnt bring myself to read the whole thing but im firmly confident the guy hasnt seen a day in the gym in his whole life. Being physically attractive is something you can work on, and he's obviously missing something. Also it sounds like he should choke her more in the bedroom. and as far as the girl saying "she says im the most attractive guy shes been with" yeah dude. every girl sayd that about every guy shes with. its not even about "what she doesn't say" females you are with romantically with complement your sex, looks say that you are the best they ever had blah blah. blah, each guy they are with they will say this. say this, why? it is beneficial to their mother hood and securing you by making you think you are the best. it may or may not be true, regaurdless its all ego bullshit anyway. if you know you are the best and secure about it you are not making posts about her ex on reddit. lol sorry but ive been that ex, and i have heard the dirt that current boyfriends try to spill on you, he will. most likely take the blue pill route and try to demonstrate why hes better than chad and do nothing to actually improve himself (shit talk) i just laugh because these guys would pretty much finish a old sandwich i munched in the back of my car (quite litterally). so they have to talk shit, make posts like this for validation from other plebs "oh dont worry she loves you for you" lol, i know it all to well being that ex, and im not even chad thundercock.
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D50HS 3y ago
My opinion would be don't settle for mediocrity.
Why invest in someone who doesn't have a genuine desire for you and fantasizes about an ex all the time? Just to bring about blue-pill goals?
Virgins Only.
max_peenor 3y ago
I don't know. You tell me. What has worked for you?
SigmundRoidd 3y ago
That’s life
If any of you have played a sport, done a martial art; boxed, bjj, Muay Thai, if you compete in bodybuilding, or do powerlifting meets, you WILL realize the genetic disparity that exists in this world.
There are guys out there who are big, strong, fast, have ridiculous fight IQ, and pick up activities way faster than the average person.
You have to learn to create internal self worth and not compare yourself to other people. It’s not a linear game, Johnny bravo at the gym might not have your job, or he might have a much better one than you, doesn’t matter. Look at yourself by seeing how far you’ve come, not where you stand.
Most guys nowadays have no self worth, because they have no accomplishments, they’ve never done anything. They jerk off and play video games, then are jealous of the guy who’s a 2 NCAA champion that’s been wrestling since he’s 4.
Build a foundation of respect for yourself by doing things in life. You won’t be mike Tyson, Chris bumstead or Hershel walker but you’ll be someone you’ll respect.
Broseidons_kiss 3y ago
Most of these self image issues are solved by being your best self. We all have an image of who we are - and who we aspire to be. If we are 100% sure we are doing our best every day to get to that point of self-perfection, these issues don’t cross your mind. Find you peak, climb it, and see if that shit bothers you anymore
matagad 3y ago
you can ponder on it forever or you just dont give a shit. if she enjoys your body and is willing to do every sexual act she did with her hottest partner i dont see a problem.
BriefcaseHead2 3y ago
Invest in your self improvement grind for a couple of years with active learning and implementation of methods and you will become the hottest partner they've had, never get attached and drop her as soon as she does anything annoying which will filter out the low interest girls. Then only the ones who see you as 'ultimate alpha chad' will be around.
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uhmfuck 3y ago
Original post please. It sounds like you’ve selected one particular comment because it confirms your beliefs.
I want to see the general consensus because I doubt it placed that much blame on OP. I’d imagine it was more supportive from what I know about the sub.
CrackDaMarco 3y ago
Someone send this motherfucker a PM, because that sub is not gonna help him.
throwlaca 3y ago
>one of my "girlfriends" always told me how sweet, funny, generous, and kind I was
I had many girlfriends through my life, more than 20, I think not a single one ever called me something nice. I've been called a bastard, a psychopath, evil, uncaring, emotional distant, self-centered, cheap, greedy, etc.
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saiyantmr 3y ago
What an unfortunate fate, almost tragic to be born a man and live in the shadow of a woman.
beachbbqlover 3y ago
Clearly the correct response is to improve yourself.
oprahjimfrey 3y ago
I have always hated people who say they're girlfriends/wife/husband is their best friend.
Jcorb 3y ago
Real talk?
I'm 32, never been in a relationship, and dread some shit like this happening to me. Even knowing I act very "blue pill", I find myself spinning in that same loop, and I really don't know how to change my mentality.
Like the guy mentioned in this post, I fear that at best I wind up as "the nice guy" that a women settles for, instead of being truly desirable. Hell, I can't even wrap my mind around the idea of being "independently happy", I always have this nagging feeling that "man, I really wish I had someone to share my interests with". Which, yeah, super blue pill.
I dunno. Guess I honestly wonder if it's truly possible to change my mindset.
mrrooftops 3y ago
You'll get there if you get over yourself. People will start giving a shit about you when you start giving a shit about you. In the meantime: Boo hoo
FormerBradFutureChad 3y ago
I like your analysis. This part hit me:
I've been on a crazy grind since April in terms of fitness, and while I do look in the mirror and notice a difference, I don't think that I've improved all that much aesthetically. I approached a chick earlier this week cashing me out who I'd say was a HB8 and 6 ft and got her number. Just a few texts into texting and she's already saying how she was impressed by me asking her # and how she didn't believe such a hottie asked for her #. Mind you, 6 months ago I was pretty chubby for being 6ft and was pretty insecure so I was a bit taken a back lol
After swallowing the pill, everything I do is for myself, but it's nice to receive a little validation here and there - I'll call them checkpoints haha
Great post!
KillYourInnerLoser 3y ago
Throwing my own experiences into the mix here too: I was "skinny-fat" most of my life and only recently leaned out to the point I have abs (there's before-after photos here). I've had a few girls literally stare at my abs/pecs and touch them - and all I can think is "Are you staring at me? You actually think I'm hot???"
As with most self-improvement, there's a "lag" between improving yourself and your self-esteem catching up.
Good post by the way, /u/Psychological_Radish.
-Andy
FormerBradFutureChad 3y ago
I like your posts and website Andy so it’s pretty cool to see a reply from you haha
I’m getting where I want to be BF and looks wise I think, but my game and abundance mentality gotta be worked on as I’m already fucking shit up with the girl I mentioned above..
Keep killing it!
KillYourInnerLoser 3y ago
Thanks mate. I post here when I have the time. Glad to hear you're kicking ass - let's make 2020 (and 2021) our bitch.
TheMailmanic 3y ago
Classic BB. I bet lifting never once crossed OPs mind
DrGandu 3y ago
But but he trains his Fornite character’s stats 6 hours a day!
LiveAFTSOV 3y ago
You dont "train stats" in fortnite.
TeamLitten 3y ago
No no, don’t downvote him when he’s right lmao
banned_by_cucks 3y ago
Not sure what his score was when you posted this, but they’re not downvoting him for being right — they’re downvoting him for being aware of such a meaningless/trivial thing.
TeamLitten 3y ago
What’s so bad about being aware of an extremely popular video game? I know playing video games too much is bad but playing video games in general isn’t a bad thing
l1ght- 3y ago
This is not the comment thread for education, but I learned this yesterday:
Gaming is probably worse than any hobby out there. Your brain is tricked into thinking you are progressing & improving your life, really you’re just unlocking the new outfit or item in a game.
This is in addition to the dopamine you get from games.
It’s actually incredibly bad for you, yet I still find an hour or 2 on the weekends to play
[deleted] 3y ago
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banned_by_cucks 3y ago
If you’re in high school, then I’m afraid none of this is really relevant.
Korrangar 3y ago
It's repetitive and played by 10 years old, wake the fuck up
TeamLitten 3y ago
Hahahahahaha, look I’m laughing at you. Listen, I don’t play fortnite because I don’t care about it, but what you said was dumb
banned_by_cucks 3y ago
Realistically? Nothing.
But it’s kind of like saying, “No, Joe’s dick actually isn’t that big, I saw it one time at the urinal”
Really just banter if anything.
I would also say most conversations about video games tend to be cringey when they try to enter circles that aren’t related to gaming either. Not to mention, 95 percent of people who play video games play too much of them.
TeamLitten 3y ago
Maybe not 95 percent, but I do agree that a majority of people who do play, play them too much
acoltismypassport 3y ago
I'd say 95% is conservative. Outside of a few guys who exclusively play FIFA with the bros over beers, pretty much every 'gamer' is a socially disabled sperg who hits it 4+ hours a day
LiveAFTSOV 3y ago
I play fortnite and dota 2 with my brother, nephew, niece and one of my girlfriends. We destroy try hards who play the game all day. Lol
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Psychological_Radish 3y ago
Then don't read them, idiot.
boy_named_su 3y ago
with the right diet and a personal trainer, he could probably look great shirtless in about 6 months, but I doubt he ever would
dr_warlock 3y ago
That's the first thought I had. You're jealous of swole guys getting chicks but I've never heard a word about you hittin the weights. Too many fuckers wanting to be loved for who they are, trying to find the one who will accept them and never need to invest and bust ass to become valuable.
-
That should be the first thing an askTRP poster needs to confirm in their intro. Are they lifting or not. If not I am way less inclined to read further, much less help. There's a good chance many of your issues wouldn't have existed or would have been higher quality if you did lift.
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boy_named_su 3y ago
this is not true. you can lose 7 lb of fat a week. i have personally done it. not fun. David Goggins has done it (90 lb in 90 days). It's in his book. His book was fact-checked
I don't recommend doing it though. it requires all of your physical, intellectual and emotional effort. I'm just saying it can be done, because the now-deleted comment above said you could only lose 1 lb of fat
you can put on 2 lb of muscle a month
women prefer lean and muscular first. then lean. then muscular (but w fat)
Sumsar01 3y ago
Losing much more than 1% of body weight a week will put you in danger og muscle catabolism which is counter productive and good luck being in a 10k caloric defecit within a week.
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Sumsar01 3y ago
I believe empirical evidence and physics over your 6-point body fat scale, calipers (which both has a uncertainty of more than 10% of bodyfat btw) and your stupid measuring tape. Strength can go up for many reasons not related to muscle gain. Especially if you aren't highly trained.
ebaymasochist 3y ago
Dudes a fucking idiot who sites one of the most extreme examples of someone dedicating every minute of every day and almost killing themselves to meet a deadline like it's something anyone should even attempt.
Tarmyniatur 3y ago
In a 10 week study with and without steroids in populations under 45 with weight training experience the result is a gain 4 lbs of muscle naturally.
That's closer to 1.5lbs per month for trained athletes.
Grandazer 3y ago
I would like to know how it is possible to put on 2lb of muscle a month.
been going to the gym for 2,5 years and I have managed to put on 17 kg. I am at 19% body fat and I just hit plateu. No muscle gain. No fat loss. no strength gains. nothing since 6 or 7 months.
Tarmyniatur 3y ago
The things that I observed helped, on me and multiple progress reports:
Nutrition:
Eat more protein. 1g per lb and up. Measure it, preferably with a scale. CICO is not exactly CICO if you account for calories needed to digest proteins, you could lose weight on your current diet if you switch macros around.
Don't drink calories. That includes shakes. Protein powder is a good option only if you are on a budget. Use an elimination strategy to see what foods are bad for you. If you experience bloating, gas, diarrhea, eliminate from your diet.
Track cheat days the exact same way you track normal days. A cheat day is not for stuffing yourself with no guidance, it's for enjoying quality meals with different calories/macros than your normal diet.
Rearrange alcohol consumption, especially if you enjoy beer which has a lot of empty calories. Drink higher proof, quality alcohol on the rocks or with no calorie mixers.
Supplements:
Limit. Do some blood work to see if you are vitamin/mineral deficient, use cron-o-meter or some other tool to view what you don't get from diet and only supplement that. However, the following is proven to work:
If you are on a caloric deficit you should supplement a good quality multivitamin. Bloodwork and diet can also dictate what you should take. Vitamin D, zinc, omega 3 in addition to a general multi.
Protein powders are only if you are on a budget, it's the lowest cost per gram of protein. It's also not exactly a supplement, more in the nutrition category.
Creatine is very effective if you respond to it. Might want to test it. 30% of people are non-responders.
Caffeine is great for a multitude of reasons. Best pre-workout, but avoid expensive powders that tack-on unproved gimmicks.
Green powders are great as a substitute for a multi, especially when loaded with herbs which are very micronutrient dense.
Most other supplements are a waste of money if not taken to improve a medical issue.
Training:
Read Mike Israetel's volume requirements. You shouldn't care what program you follow, you must care what the weekly frequency and volume for each body part is.
boy_named_su 3y ago
2 lb/mo is close the the max you can do, natty, as a beginner. it falls as you lift more. if you can do half of that, you're doing great
you're also gonna put on a fair amount of fat at the same time, so would need to cut afterwards
and you have to be close to perfect
rockyp32 3y ago
You do not need to be in a surplus to build muscle
Grandazer 3y ago
Yo thanks dude I made a screen shot of the comment will Def take everything in consideration.
boy_named_su 3y ago
good luck, bro. let us know how it goes
EmirSc 3y ago
Wow nice reply, what if I'm the opposite have like 40 lbs over my ideal weight, how do I start?, I'm doing mostly if 16-8 but want to start calystenics
boy_named_su 3y ago
I'd aim to maintain your strength while losing fat. Then bulk up a bit after you hit your goal
Lift twice a week. Stonglifts til you suck, then madcow (can find on the same site).
Eat enough protein. Same omega, d3, zinc, magnesium. Add hydroxy methyl butarate to minimize catabolism. Can drop to 1500 cal a day on non lift days. Add more protein and cals on lift day (60g, 300 cal)
Then do as much cardio as you can. I can do about 3000 calories of cardio before I wanna die. Biking is good for calories per hour
Tarmyniatur 3y ago
The things that I observed helped, on me and multiple progress reports:
Nutrition:
Eat more protein. 1g per lb and up. Measure it, preferably with a scale. CICO is not exactly CICO if you account for calories needed to digest proteins, you could lose weight on your current diet if you switch macros around.
Don't drink calories. That includes shakes. Protein powder is a good option only if you are on a budget. Use an elimination strategy to see what foods are bad for you. If you experience bloating, gas, diarrhea, eliminate from your diet.
Track cheat days the exact same way you track normal days. A cheat day is not for stuffing yourself with no guidance, it's for enjoying quality meals with different calories/macros than your normal diet.
Rearrange alcohol consumption, especially if you enjoy beer which has a lot of empty calories. Drink higher proof, quality alcohol on the rocks or with no calorie mixers.
Supplements:
Limit. Do some blood work to see if you are vitamin/mineral deficient, use cron-o-meter or some other tool to view what you don't get from diet and only supplement that. However, the following is proven to work:
If you are on a caloric deficit you should supplement a good quality multivitamin. Bloodwork and diet can also dictate what you should take. Vitamin D, zinc, omega 3 in addition to a general multi.
Protein powders are only if you are on a budget, it's the lowest cost per gram of protein. It's also not exactly a supplement, more in the nutrition category.
Creatine is very effective if you respond to it. Might want to test it. 30% of people are non-responders.
Caffeine is great for a multitude of reasons. Best pre-workout, but avoid expensive powders that tack-on unproved gimmicks.
Green powders are great as a substitute for a multi, especially when loaded with herbs which are very micronutrient dense.
Most other supplements are a waste of money if not taken to improve a medical issue.
Training:
Read This. You shouldn't care what program you follow, you must care what the weekly frequency and volume for each body part is.
Ebrii 3y ago
are you following a program and eating enough?
Grandazer 3y ago
A Program in the gym hell yes I follow it religiously. When it comes down to eating tho I just have no idea what source to believe. I have just recently (4 days ago) started eating foods that are high on proteins and fats but little to no carbs at all and I am eating a whole bunch of them.
Ebrii 3y ago
I think it doesnt really matter, just hit a high caloric intake (surplus if you want to grow) and enough protein, rest of macros is up to you. And of course from whole foods, no junk.
ebaymasochist 3y ago
For how many weeks?
That first week does not count. No one is losing 100% fat in the first week.
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ebaymasochist 3y ago
What are you doing that you have 30 or 40 pounds of fat to lose?
Tryna be clever? No now I just think you're full of shit.. that's where the most weight probably comes from. Second from muscle loss
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ebaymasochist 3y ago
I'm looking into this further. I'm reading about this Goggins guy in Men's Health and it's insane. Not healthy at all. But I guess it is possible if you're willing to torture yourself.. Dude how did you not get injuries? Did you just feel like shit every minute of the day? And what was your physique like after?
I went to school for personal training and we did not learn anything this extreme, obviously because it is dangerous and would be a huge liability to train someone in this manner.
I've lost about 12 pounds in the last two months and some days wake up 2 pounds lighter than when I went to sleep. But I don't count that as weight loss since it's from dehydration overnight. 5000 calorie deficits outside of a planned fast is just mind blowing. Are you alright?
[deleted] 3y ago
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ebaymasochist 3y ago
When the hell did I say I don't understand how calories work? 35000 calories in ten days- You're losing a lot of muscle too, no way around it
You're the one who claims to have done it. I'm asking you what it was like, not to explain what a caloric deficit is. I don't do damaging shit to my body like that and I'm curious so either tell me or not. Im not going to do it either I'm fine at 184.
throwwayhubu 3y ago
OP, the line about being amazing in bed /= satisfying her sexually is a fucking hardcore pill guys have to swallow and it merits its own post. Girls will fawn and weep over small dick dudes who dont eat pussy and never make her cum. No girl will be anything more than temporarily impressed if you fuck good. What matters is her perception of you as an alpha. If you are her absolute highest ranking male, you can straight up piss on her and make her clean it and she will be more sexually satisfied than a guy who can last 4 hours and give her multiple orgasms who isnt max alpha in her mind. In fact, most women will see it as a sign of weakness if you care too much about her physical sexual pleasure, they prefer it if you just use them like a masturbatory device.
Psychological_Radish 3y ago
I agree. And I hardly ever point it out because so many guys are extremely ego-invested in their supposed prowess in the sack.
Ever notice that girls always complain about how some Chad never cared about "her pleasure?" How he would cum and just "roll over" after? Again, there's anything wrong with being good in bed - I believe that sex should be pleasurable for both people - but that has nothing to do with being Alpha or Beta.
aesky 3y ago
Patrice said it best: "When you meet a bitch how do you fuck them? Do you fuck them with love? No! You hate fuck them. The problems start showing up when you care too much"
crimsonpowder 3y ago
I've gotten to the point where I don't care. I literally told her "if it's not enjoyable, then fake it because it helps me get off"
LiveAFTSOV 3y ago
I enjoy eating pussy out. The smell and taste is fun for me. Enjoy your sex life.
EmirSc 3y ago
A connoisseur, I enjoy it too, 69 the bitch and stand up like you're going to finish the round with a neck break
throwwayhubu 3y ago
Yeah me too and if you held a gun to my head and said I had to make a woman orgasm then oral is the best bet, especially from behind that stuff looks amazing but I'm just talking about this from a theory POV.
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VirgilCaine_ 3y ago
This was a mistake I made for years without realizing it, but a very important lesson nonetheless.
BriefcaseHead2 3y ago
Yup. If she views you highly you'll fuck without foreplay and she'll act like it was the best, sexiest thing ever. As soon as I stopped eating pussy and trying to give them an orgasm first like what stupid fucking advice I read online, and focused on pounding the ever loving shit out of them with 100% of my strength, I started getting callbacks.
throwwayhubu 3y ago
Come to think of it, foreplay is like an admission price you have to pay for being beta in her eyes. The girls that have given me the best reviews and most clingy behaviour have all been " panties to side go in raw while choking from behind " while i used to fucking massage and eat out my ex to multiple orgasms and then she'd be like "nah im done"
DubbleFUPAwitCheez 3y ago
Absolutely correct. Most turned on I've seen a chick I grabbed her by the throat and put her on her knees. She sucked down my dick like it was water in the desert. Best head I ever got. She was turned on and all she thought about at the time was pleasuring me.
BriefcaseHead2 3y ago
So happy that this is realistic to me and no longer a 'red pill fantasy'
recov3r 3y ago
I don't think people in that sub would suggest him to lift. So guys moral of the story lift like your life depends on it.
ToraChan23 3y ago
Even if he had the body of a god, his mindset would still fuck him up in the long run.
Plus, he wouldn’t be lifting for the right reasons. He should be lifting FOR HIMSELF, not just to beat Chad. Because even if he forms a body better than Chad, once he gets it he is unlikely to keep it since he didn’t do it for himself.
recov3r 3y ago
Yeah true, but there are chances that if you do start lifting you might have shift in your state of mind as well. Its a well know fact that men who have lower level of testosterone act like chicks, look at all those soy boys emotions controls them they think like girls. With lifting when your body changes for good and you raise your SMV people starts noticing you and Girls starts giving IOIs as well its better to lift than crying in the basement that your gf finds his ex chad bf more appealing. There are very few people who would chose to lift in this situation, majority will bitch and moan as Building body takes discipline and hard work.
ToraChan23 3y ago
Not exactly, because then he would think it’s the muscles that got him there, and not him himself. I’ve seen it before where a dude gets a nice car or loses weight and gets lean, but he is still that broke fat dude inside who never considered that it was HIM who worked hard and got lean or worked to afford such a car.
What do you expect a loser guy would do with an increase in testosterone, but no self confidence in himself? That’s like my car suddenly having a full tank of gas, but I don’t know how to drive.
Even with IOIs, if he doesn’t know what to do with them, they’re worthless.
Lifting is 100% mandatory, of course. But that alone won’t get him the results. He needs to change on the inside as well as on the outside for it to really matter.
TheDoorOfOsiris 3y ago
Lifting doesn't fix everything. Sometimes niggas are just ugly as fuck, lifting or not. Lifting fixes a lot but my God not everything.
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Psychological_Radish 3y ago
That was my instinctual response reading this. Aspiring to out-Chad Chad is certainly better than sitting around crying woe is me.
That said, it may be that there is nothing he can do to extract her sexual best...if, indeed, I am correct in my assessment that she isn't giving it to him. We don't know the full dynamic of the relationship, but always better to simply start fresh if you're like the guy in Rollo's essay.
rockyp32 3y ago
What should the thiught be . The first thought is to become better than him but is that a healthy mindset?
TheUnsteadyDonut 3y ago
Mate, honestly being called "such an alpha" is not that cool, I actually think it's a bit cringy. The fuck does that mean.
I don't know, i usually don't end up talking about how "sexy" I am with the girls that I am seeing. But a convo like this: "You are so sexy, psychological_radish." looks fucking cringy.
She likes me? She keeps seeing me. I don't need reassurance that she likes me telling me about it.
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Psychological_Radish 3y ago
I wanted to illustrate two extremes. One was a girl who didn't have sex with me at all, the other was a girl who literally couldn't keep her hands off me. The "such an Alpha" comment was a bit jokey on her part. I don't remember the context, but a girl is never going to say something like that, even in jest, without some element of truth in her mind.
People here think that this is Fight Club and that no one in mainstream society is aware of what is discussed here. Not true. I've been hearing more and more girls use terms like "Alpha" "Beta" "incel" and so on. Not many, but enough to gain my attention.
I always hesitate to bring up anecdotes from Girl #2 because they seem so comical, like a parody of what a Red Pill relationship would look like. But it's all true. Whenever I use stories that involve me, I do so in a matter-of-fact way because it's the easiest way to illustrate a point. I don't do it to gain flattery from random people on the internet.
I took pains to emphasize that I'm not glossing myself. I don't prance around this sub with a big swingin' dick going I'm so Alpha bro, because I definitely am not where I want to be. If that's not enough for you, then take a hike.
TheUnsteadyDonut 3y ago
Fair enough. I totally understand the feeling of I am not yet where I want to be. Cheers for the explanation
bowhunter6 3y ago
I think what OP meant was that chicks that are into you will tell you that shit all the time “you’re so hot / you are a sexy mfer / I need your cum in me / etc”. I know mine do, and I have jettisoned those that don’t, because life is too short to be with a bitch that doesn’t lust for your dick.
TheUnsteadyDonut 3y ago
I prefer to have sex with someone with a creative and intelligent mind with which I can have conversations than a bimbo lusting for dicks.
All of them got the hole, not all of them are worthwhile.
bowhunter6 3y ago
I don’t disagree with any of that. You can have a bitch lust for your dick AND be creative and intelligent. These things aren’t mutually exclusive.
TheUnsteadyDonut 3y ago
Fuck I love how calm and agreeable people here are. You cant have these conversations on Reddit.
That's fair enough mate. I agree
[deleted]
SKRedPill 3y ago
OP is a guy with poor self esteem. He doesn't realize she's looking out for her needs, while he is very needy.
The worst part? OP seems to fail to realize that muscles of all things are the ones men have maximum control over. You can totally grow them.
In retrospect if OP gets over his stages of grief, this experience will actually be a good lesson for him. Most people live in childish logical ideas of what love is and it really takes an absolute kick in their gut to wake up and see the truth.
The-Wizard-of-Oz- 3y ago
Cmon. More physically attractive doesn't mean Chad thundercock.
Dimenzije90 3y ago
He still has a chance. Just hit the gym and fix your frame. That could get him miles ahead.
LosConeijo 3y ago
I dont understand if you have added the whole bold part or just made it bold.
Sorry, it is clear now at the end of the post.
Longgbottom 3y ago
I need more reading on this. What is the the epiphany? Please explain
Psychological_Radish 3y ago
Sidebar or Rational Male book
ReimsHistoriae 3y ago
If your SO sees you as a friend, there is nothing stopping her from downgrading you to "friend" status sooner or later. She has to admire you and look up to you in some way or else her love will gradually or suddenly erode. And in my experience, it's always better to burn the ships and leave if that happens than stay orbiting, hoping to get that pussy again.
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rjb_1990 3y ago
If she's not willing to have sex on your command she is not a good partner for you. The girl I'm fucking has sex with me whenever I want. I just have to ring her and she's always down. Unless she's working of course. Even when she reschedules she doesn't leave me in the dark about anything. This guy needs to grow a pair and leave. If you don't find me hot or irresistible then I'll find someone else who does.
PhoneOnMyName 3y ago
What to do when you're not either good looking or sexy.
eddielovett 3y ago
Wait how is it blue pill to tell this guy he should man up and stop being a pussy? That’s exactly the correct advice. He shouldn’t compare himself to this girls ex and be an insecure little bitch. That will cause him to behave in unattractive ways and make him lose the girl.
The thought of this dude tip toeing down the stairs and eavesdropping on her conversation then getting all butthurt is so cringey. He deserves to have his heartbroken so he can not be such a delicate little girl in his next relationship.
Psychological_Radish 3y ago
You and everyone else in that shitshow of a thread are missing the point.
Yes, the guy clearly has low self-esteem. I pointed out as much. In that sense he needs to either get in the gym or shut up about it.
The Blue Pill teaches you to take everything at face value. The Red Pill teaches you how to read between the lines. And my assessment is that this guy is likely the same as the dude in Rollo's "Saving the Best" essay. He is very obviously Blue Pill and Beta. He perceives, probably correctly, that there is an SMV inbalance. His "insecurity" stems from a nagging doubt in his peripheral awareness over how much he really arouses her. As I point out, she appears to admire his Beta Bucks traits, but apparently doesn't say anything that would indicate Alpha arousal. That's telling.
Why and how she ended up with him matters, as we well know. But the Blue Pill tells you it doesn't matter.
eddielovett 3y ago
So you’re saying it’s blue pill to not care how much he arouses her? Idk man. Reading between the lines sounds an awful lot like operating in her frame.
He’s insecure because hes obsessing over why she’s with him. If he disregarded that entirely and focused on himself the insecurity would slowly vanish.
Even if he was self aware about her being attracted to his beta qualities instead of being horny for him that doesn’t change anything. You’re trying to take her subjective experience into account when you don’t have to. Who cares if she was more sexually attracted to her ex, he is playing his current hand successfully if she’s with him and not the other guy. He can definitely improve himself and her raw sexual attraction could increase over time to exceed those of her ex. The point is it’s redpill to not care either way. He should focus on himself, his pleasure, his development and not obsessively compare himself to another man and second guess her attraction.
Psychological_Radish 3y ago
I don't have time to address this further here. Read Rollo's essays including "The Desire Dynamic" and "Saving the Best." Hell, probably need to read the entire Rational Male. Red Pill is much more than "muh idc wat the womenz think."
eddielovett 3y ago
I read the entire rational male and I still think we only have so much brain power and it should be focused on developing ourselves instead of worrying about the nuances of how others perceive reality.
superkewldood 3y ago
The fantasy of being desired by even prostitutes is real, it’s called bounded authenticity. I read a good article on it in an Anthro class in college. Interestingly a lot of the prostitutes that ended up liking a guy and giving it out for free would always get ghosted by them as it violates the bounds of their transactional relationship that still seemed ‘authentic’ yet within the bounds of that client hooker relationship https://link.springer.com/article/10.1057/fr.2011.20
LiveAFTSOV 3y ago
We need the "how to seduce hookers into getting it from them for free" guide today
mtriad 3y ago
Meh
Another TRP theory guesswork here. No much to conclude but I can only guess further:
What I read on this guy is that he thinks like a woman, writes like a woman. He's all worried about looks, something woman do a lot more. He wants to feel special, loved and nurtured. This is very feminine.
So yes the answer he received is quite valid.
But he should be providing these things instead and not caring about that bs.
If it was with me (nowadays) I'd just have laughed off and would crack some joke on her. Because in my mind if she eventually wants to leave, then just fucking just do, I will replace her in no time if not before, and get another one as hot or hotter or just remain single because I don't give a fuck.
The reason he's worried about this thing is the reason she's eventually leaving.
Pooddit 3y ago
Work on yourself as much as you can and walk with your shoulders back and you head held high. Don't get attached to women, they are not your source of pleasure. Working hard on your own life is. Women will be drawn to this and you will be able to reward yourself with filthy sex with them. Do not get butthurt when women occasionally go for better/more genetically gifted men. That's just life, accept it. These men will pump and dump them anyways and you get to watch these women act so beta trying to get commitment from them. Just stand back and do your thing and not let it get to you how nature works and they will give you consistent pussy, no problem. Think of all the fatties you pass up. That hurts them but they're not working on themselves so they don't get to get with you. You're gonna be somewhere on the scale of 0-10 but if you work on yourself you can be on the top end. If you work on your game and cultivate abundance you could be a 4 and at least still have opportunities. If you're possessive and controlling and cannot accept how reality works, well you get nothing.
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strikethrough123 3y ago
Wanna know how sexy she finds you? Note how she sucks your dick. If she’s straight giving you gawk-gawk-5000-backwards-twisty vacuum-tongue-loop every time, then she finds you attractive. If she only does it once, she wants something. If she never does it, then she only uses sex to keep you on her leash.
If you’ve never gotten your dick sucked.. well.. sorry buddy. Go lift.