As we know, the
Right off the bat we can see that this guy is deeply Blue Pill. "Best friend," "can't imagine life without her." Remember guys - anytime a girl refers to you as her "best friend," that's a pretty good indicator that you're in her Frame and that she sees you as beneath her.
You are not your girlfriend's "friend." You're her lover. But in today's Blue Pill paradigm, we're all equal and there are no authority figures. Everybody is everybody's friend. Parents are friends with their kids. Teachers are friends with their students. Naturally this sets the stage for a volatile and detrimental relationship.
As to "can't imagine life without her," I truly hope that everything works out for this guy in the end, because he's already on the road to putting a noose around his neck if they ever break up.
This segment is more interesting for what it doesn't say. It doesn't say that she finds him sexy. It doesn't say that she finds him hot and handsome. Being the "best sex partner" =/= being the most sexually gratifying.
I've been on both sides. Pre-Red Pill, one of my "girlfriends" always told me how sweet, funny, generous, and kind I was. What she didn't say was that I was hot or sexy. In several months of being together, she never once let me have sex with her or expressed any interest in doing so. In retrospect, I don't think she was ever sexually aroused by me.
Post-Red Pill, I met a girl for whom I was clearly a physical and sexual ideal. We had sex within 30 minutes of meeting and went on to date for over a year. She constantly told me how hot I was, how I brought out every nasty sexual fantasy in her. She never once said I was nice; instead, she often called me an asshole. And - not to gloss myself - she once said I was "such an Alpha."
To be clear for the spergs, there's nothing wrong with being "nice," but if that's all you are, then you're in trouble. Girl #2 once said something like "you're an asshole, but I know deep down you can be sweet." You want to aim for Han Solo, the scoundrel with the heart of gold. You need her to believe that she brought out the sweetness in you with her feminine charm, it wasn't just given away for free.
I will agree with the peanut gallery here and say that OP probably has some self-esteem issues. If this girl really is an HB9 Instagram model, then I highly doubt that OP is really that ugly.
I'd say that OP perhaps was a 5/10 during high school and college, gaining several points during his early 20s. But while his body is a 7 or 8, his mind still sees himself as a 5. That's very unfortunate, but it's common. It takes time to internalize your own physical appeal if you weren't always the hawt guy.
That said, assuming this girl really is a point or two above him, the relationship is indeed unstable. Who knows why she got with him. Maybe his family is rich. Perhaps he's an engineer at Apple or something and makes some serious bank. If she really is IG model-level hot, then it's possible that she went through an earlier Epiphany Phase. I often see this with hot girls, who mature much faster than Plain Janes because they spend much of their youth around older men.
Anytime a girl calls an ex an "asshole," that's a Red Flag for possible Alpha Widow. Again, you should be that (lovable) asshole in her life.
Now we're reaching the crux of OP's dilemma. On some level, I think all guys want to be told they're sexy, handsome, hot, and so on. They want that genuine desire. Something in OP's peripheral awareness is signaling that his girlfriend doesn't have that raw, feral sexual desire for him. Most guys will simply bury those feelings and use Blue Pill logic to rationalize them away. That is, until they're confronted with unignorable evidence to the contrary. For those who haven't, I urge you to read Rollo's "Saving the Best" essay.
That's why strippers and cam girls are so appealing. A stripper once explained to me that "I don't sell sex. I sell fantasy." It's about feeling desired. Guys come in for the illusion and fantasy of experiencing what they never received from their wives and girlfriends. It's actually quite sad.
Now to the comments, which consist of the typical Blue Pill fare. I'll paste a few of the common sentiments. It's appalling to read. Straight gaslighting that completely invalidates this guy's feelings. Naturally we all know that if this story was posted by a girl, the peanut gallery would be clamoring for her to dump him with all the usual "you deserve better, girl" nonsense.
Note that OP has done nothing to merit this level of vitriol. He never says a bad word about his girlfriend anywhere in the post. But because it seems like he's verging on a Red Pill moment of clarity, the natural response of the Blue Pill mob is to beat him into submission. Man up, do what you're told, stop being a pussy and get over it. At best, we have the legions of Post-Wall women and Beta males who weigh in with similar stories, assuring OP that everything is okay, go back to sleep, just ignore the man behind the curtain.
This is why the Blue Pill is so fucking confusing. These women probably really do love their husbands, but in a platonic sense...not a raw, feral, lusty sense. There are so many marriages and relationships that seem happy. Maybe they even have sex. But now OP will always have this nagging doubt over whether his girlfriend does the same thing in bed for him that she did for Chad.
Alright, I see I'm catching some flak for the "you're such an Alpha" anecdote. See my full response in the comments. Obviously I don't mean to say that a girl has to literally tell you that you're hot, Alpha, whatever to show genuine desire. She can demonstrate that well enough through her actions. In both of my examples, the actions backed up the words.