It is hard to be a (masculine/red pill) man as son of a single mother. Women are born, men are developed.

Thank you so much for this post man. I'm in recovery of the nice guy/asshole complex created by manipulative losers who gaslight women as cruel and heartless just because they don't like lousy men who try to make up for it with supplicant kindness. These terminologies and bitterness toward "chad" "alpha fucks" and "hypergamy" is at the crux of what holds so many men back. Theres an animosity toward that which they are trying to become and it prevents it entirely. Figure out what it is women really like about men and every last one of you will realize you can be a friendly person and get laid like all hell. To be perfectly honest you mostly get trash women going after the brooding, agitated, emotionally numb and chip on his shoulder guy with a leather jacket, you know the "bad guy" stereotype. Honestly makes me wanna throw up. Most guys who slay with chicks are funny, assertive and socially skilled, making them laugh and smile all the while doing the same.

I needed this post so bad. I feel like I'm to much of an asshole because I think compliments are killing the attraction, while a genuine compliments are good. I know this is to much of black and white thinking, but I still have a hard time to find balance.

I just had a date last night that didn’t go as planned because I was too scared to say and do certain things. As soon I finished I was literally projecting negativity because I thought “god why am I such a little bitch”. I been feeling like shit since and I retreated to the red pill to help see if I could fix this. That paragraph about beta behavior is so accurate of how I feel, I realize self moping and taking my failures like a child doesn’t help me at all and I realize I’ll try again and do better.

Although it really wasn’t the point of the post, it really did help so thanks.

A lot of the behavior you've described as healthy could be seen as asshole behavior if viewed from a blue pill perspective.

Bluepill/Beta/Nice Guys often have low-self esteem, and low self-worth. They don’t pursue what they want, because they don’t believe they are good enough to have it. They put everyone else’s needs before their own. They try to please everyone. They are people-pleases, approval seekers, validation seekers. They are dishonest and indirect about what they want. They fear confrontation, conflict and emotional tension. They are co-dependent. They expect others to read their minds. They have poor boundaries. He runs from his insecurities, limitations and flaws. They don’t deal with things in the moment. They seek happiness from others. They put up with disrespect. They take rejection like a child, and live in their inner child. They personalize and internalize negative self-talk. They are needy.

​

In other words, traits commonly attributed to women. Unhealthy males are feminine.

​

A RedPill/Alpha can simply be a healthy male. He has high self-esteem, self-worth and self-acceptance. He pursues what he desires, because he believes he is good enough to have it. He makes his desires, wants and needs his main priority. He is honest, direct and clear about what he wants. He doesn’t people-please, seek-approval or validation. He doesn’t seek happiness from others, but knows he is responsible for cultivating it in himself. He has boundaries. He can handle conflict and confrontation. He deals with things there and then. He doesn’t put up with shit. He is self-accepting. He owns his insecurities, limitations and flaws. He puts what he wants, above her. He can use rationalizing and logic to over-ride negativity and limiting self-image before they’re internalized. He takes rejection like an adult. Is non-needy.

​

In other words, traits commonly attributed to men. Healthy males are masculine.

​

It's as simple as that. Women desire men. Not other women.

Excellent post and it points out the problem with this community. Guys here are trying to be assholes but they only manage to shift from unhealthy behavior to another.

I describe myself as the "safe asshole" and pretty much every girl who has heard this description agrees with it. Im nice until my boundaries are violated or girl shittests me. Then I become the asshole who enforces his boundaries and doesnt take shit. As long as the people behave and dont challenge me, Im nice.

Girls say hate when I teach manners to actual douchebags or selfish people but then they secretly admit that it turns then on when I command respect and make people behave.

Be nice, be healthy, be the cool fun guy - as long as the people deserve it.

Good analysis but also very binary analysis that lacks nuances. Rarely any one checks out all the points of any of your two lists (beta/niceguy vs alpha/jerk). It's more like a mix of the two with variation in percentile.

For the sake of using an arbitrary exemple, one can be trying to please everyone because one's co-dependant and quite needy but one also has boundaries and puts what he wants above what women want. And therefore might end up in like the 66th percentile of beta, (which simply means one would be more beta than 66 persons is a room of 100 individuals.)

Absolutes and archetypes often help categorise different type of profiles but rarely represent anyone really.

Some are more beta.

Some are more alpha.

But with almost infinite variations and diversity of profiles.

Absolute alpha UberChad™ is rare af, 99th percentile, (and is of course not wasting time reading trp because he incarnates trp theory itself naturally) but yeah, he eats all the cake so you wanna be that guy. And the good news is you might already sort of have some personality traits in common - as long as you're not : Absolute beta Niceguy™, who is also crazy rare 1st percentile, and doesn't even get to smell no cake. You absolutely don't want to be that guy but let's assume that, as long as you're here reading, you probably also share at least some character traits with him.

Women go for some other guy she says is a ‘jerk

Female language translation: "jerk" = attractive guy who prioritises himself over her, the relationship and the female imperative.

Done right, being selfish and prioritising your male sexual objectives is extremely attractive to women....... but they also hate it because it goes directly against their own sexual strategy.

For example "I fuck other women" is attractive and also being a jerk. Same for "no, I won't cook and clean for you, I'm too busy at the gym". Same for straight up not doing what she wants and doing what you want instead.

Same for passing shit tests, being attractive to other women, flirting with other women, indifference to her, unreactive and non-prioritising her feels, etc.

Hence "jerk". She finds it attractive. But it's not in her sexual best interests.

This is devilishly effective on the little emotional masochists that we like to put our dicks inside.

I'll have to somewhat disagree. The strongest foundation of attraction beyond the physical is confidence. Not necessarily being healthy/unhealthy. Novices will often be surprised at the amount of well-groomed girls who fuck with nobodies.

The underlying problem is more about their perception of such behaviors. They believe it's either black or white: "They don't like nice guys? Fine, I'll be an asshole." They don't understand that not being nice is not the same as being an asshole. Similarly, an A- is not the same as a B+. This mentality ultimately makes them avoid grey areas. And when confronted with such situations, they're clueless on how to act.

OP, you're falling into the same trap. There's no one type of behavior that can attract women. TRP display the boundaries in which we should operate; we're left to figure out the rest.

They personalize and internalize negative self-talk

Can someone explain this sentence a little deeper? What does it mean to "personalize" negative self-talk? Like the negative things you say about yourself in your head may be projected into reality?

So true. But I've met many a so called alpha or player who has deep insecurities and also flees from them. Most of these females got problems too. Like energy attracts like energy.

Had a plate say something that got me thinking: my brother is “nice” to my sister, whereas I am more of an asshole (from a protective sense).

She said your brother is more reliable, but you actually know her.

Is being nice anything more than the superficial? “I don’t care who you are, I’m checking these boxes, now you have to sleep with me”.

Is being a “jerk” nothing more than refusing the pleasantries? Poking and prodding (shittesting) is just trying to figure out who you are when you don’t think anyone is looking. I think being a jerk is really just about shittesting women (while holding frame so they don’t feel judged).

Fucking finally a good theory post. Well done man

Thank you for actually writing your post like you said you would in the other thread! This is really great material, side-bar stuff. Cheers

Your paragraph describing nice guy beta is the clearest single description I have seen of this behavior. Very well done.

That's a smart shift in perspective, you are absolutely right !

Please post this to married red pill. Some of those guys need this before they Rambo. Rp culture needs more balancing to recognize the positive traits of healthy charisma.

When I first came across the redpill I first thought that women were the problem. I thought that I was the ultimate, self-sacrificing, caring, providing man and that it was just modern women in general who didnt appreciate me. Then, as I matured and read history, I learned women have always been like this.

Religion and morality had created insititutions that hid and masked the nature of hypergamy from the naked eye. Thus, when I thought upon the image of women my traditional upbringing communicated, I was thinking of a version of the fairer sex that did not exist. So then I concluded that my family was the problem.

I thought that if my family had just taught me, or shown me the ropes of inter-sexual dynamics I wouldnt have been left behind. I rationalized that it was because the combination of growing up with limited interaction with women and the attitudes towards women my family/media instilled, that I was romantically unfulfilled. But then I realized that most men are growing in this same feminized environment. I learned that the lessons my religion,family and the media were telling me, to always respect women, werent even inherently wrong. So who else could take the weight of the blame for my bluepilled suffering?

I then finally concluded that the problem had been within myself. I did not understand the importance of, or even how to, respect myself. If I had just known how to respect myself, I would have always been in frame. I wouldn't have put any pussy on any pedestal. I would have ownership of my life. I would be able to even reepect women or men for that matter so long as I was respecting myself first. If I had respected myself I would be an authentic human being. I had to take ownership of my problems.

Ive never been the same since.

Youre only an asshole to someone when you respect yourself before respecting them. This is why people are attracted to assholes. Because they are the few real characters in a sea of NPCs.

I had recently realized this but in a different context. Physical attractiveness is directly correlated to your health. The way you think will make your face, body, and behavior more or less attractive, even in ways you might think are impossible. Positive, unstressed thinking will make you have a better gait when you walk, better posture, healthier looking skin, more symmetrical appearance etc. I was 2 inches taller after I started working out, partly because I had more bone density, and partly because my mood was good on a much more consistent basis. I also have a much more attractive face when I'm not stressed and not thinking about base things.

If your a dark triad you'll learn how to mirror "healthy guys" aka Alphas. Hopefully, your just a nice guy and then you can truly become a healthy guy with some work. Dark Triads do get girls though, some girls are attracted to them because they like abuse for various reasons. So don't feel bad if you're a dark triad. Oh, wait you can't.

This must go to the sidebar

The key is to be the Nicest Asshole.

Needed to read the end. Thanks for sharing.

Yep. Women don't like 'nice guys' but many of them (the mentally healthy ones) don't like assholes either. They might fuck an asshole a couple of times but women with decent mental health get tired quickly of the negativity and manipulation.

You don't want to be 'nice' as in needy and a push-over. But you don't want to be a dark triad manipulating cunt also. Not even for the sake of women, but for the sake of yourself.

Girls want an attractive man that is usually nice but at times an asshole too. Someone that stands up for themselves, and although he considers the needs of others as well, his own interests still come first. They want someone who fucks them like the little cumsluts they are but also who cuddles with them afterwards and holds them when they cry.

Nice guys are on one end of the spectrum, assholes on the other. What is optimal for most people is somewhere in between.

I find it so weird when people here say: "don't be yourself" when it's literally the only way to be a healthy male without being a faker.

I respectfully disagree. I think you are projecting a male moral dichotomy (being cooperative vs competitive) onto women who are inherently amoral.

I think women are attracted to a man's ability to dominate other people. The method of domination is irrelevant; you could be a psychotic criminal or beloved pastor of a megachurch, it really doesn't matter so long as you have power over people.

I think men ponder big questions about society and cooperation vs competition but I've never gotten the impression that women care about these ideas. They don't care if you're healthy beyond physical health.

I really love this post and it explains things so well. I feel like a lot of this post is worded properly to reach BP/PC mainstream circuits.

I always say this - being a “nice guy” pussy pushover is deceptive and you’re hoping to attract someone by pandering to them than being intrinsically attractive. That has also flown very well with moderate, mainstream circuits. Basically saying be high SMV in words that they can digest

red pill "helps" to get your dick wet no matter what your health is, but I agree completely.

> I see many guys who have been ‘nice’ to women, only to get nowhere. Maybe a lot of these guys think ‘well, being nice didn’t get me anywhere, so maybe I should just be a cunt’.

​

This is the beginning of self correction, you are seeing a new pattern, you are making radical changes, a sign of intelligence.

You choose a hateful ideology , a feminist view point, there is nothing wrong with challenging social norms. The definition of nice and asshole

is political and made to serve women.

​

> Many ‘nice guys’ don’t realise it isn’t their ‘nice’ behaviour that is the the true turn-off. It’s the fact that these guys are unhealthy.

​

No , women say they will marry you when they are 30, you are safe choice.

​

> A RedPill/Alpha can simply be a healthy male. He has high self-esteem, self-worth and self-acceptance. He pursues what he desires, because he believes he is good enough to have it. He makes his desires, wants and needs his main priority. He is honest, direct and clear about what he wants. He doesn’t people-please, seek-approval or validation. He doesn’t seek happiness from others, but knows he is responsible for cultivating it in himself. He has boundaries. He can handle conflict and confrontation. He deals with things there and then. He doesn’t put up with shit. He is self-accepting. He owns his insecurities, limitations and flaws. He puts what he wants, above her. He can use rationalizing and logic to over-ride negativity and limiting self-image before they’re internalized. He takes rejection like an adult. Is non-needy.

​

Nice guys do all these things and quite a few alpha are lacking, you are once again using a female narrative, to virtue signal.

​

> Women are attracted to strong, healthy males. If you weren’t that, and my description of Nice Guy traits resonates with you, then own your part in things.

​

Shaming male for not being successful with women, men issue aren't themselves, it's a reality issue, once I understood reality , I was able to get women, I push for sex more, I walked away when no sex was promised, that was my real change,

[deleted]

This post resonates with me. Thanks for your contribution

"I simply need to cultivate the healthiest, strongest version of myself" I love this!

i chose the black pill. I believe that women choose men based on their social status,money and looks. Even the nicest women will always choose a man that scores high with those factors. Personality is A prerequisite and is not an option. A nice guy that scores higher in social status,money and looks always trumps the bad boy biker/drug dealer. A good looking nice guy will always defeat a an ugly bad boy. Superior genes and upbringing will always be preferred by women.

Very good write up, thanks.

Your understanding and depth of thought are apparent.

Wow, great post.

I think you are really onto something.

​

I think the word "strong" is more applicable than the world "healthy" though. Girls are also attracted to unhealthy, strong males as well though. I have seen plenty of sociopaths, who are strong or manipulative, also do well with women; despite doing terrible things to the women who love them, which demonstrates that they weren't healthy.

This is the best post ive seen in a while. Summed up a really important aspect of redpill its easy to get confused about. Cheers.

Thank you for posting this. Should sticky this post for people who come here for woman hating.

You really laid out the cause of most of the anger phase here. Men are mad because they were lied to about women yes but also because of their own behaviors and what they allowed to pass as acceptable for so long. I look at my own behaviors before my awakening and I see myself in all of those traits you listed. I would be mad at women for rejecting me who probably didn't even know I desired them. I would do favors for them, be kind to them, I would expect them to "just get it" because at the time I wasn't man enough to go for what I wanted. During my anger phase that was the true root. I didn't hate women but I hated myself for being that naive and weak willed to behave like that for that long without change. The true awakening is seeing how weak you were and how much you can and have changed once you know the truth. Great article, I honestly think this is side bar worthy. There is much truth here especially for beginners.

This is embarrassing to admit, but I showed a lot of those unhealthy traits your described in my last relationship, and I still feel the need to be validated by my ex to regain my self esteem 2 months after she broke up with me. How do I go about becoming healthy?

What if you had a MF running roids aesthetic af like Zyzz coast blast shit. He healthy nah. He nice nah. He get Bitches yeah. Talking mental health self esteem I see you brah! If you think I’m an ugly neck beard fuck my IG quinlanacevedomaverick and I don’t get bitches brah. Also don’t fuck with roids btw natty as of yet

Why are we quarantined? The admin don't want you to know.

Register on our backup site: https://www.trp.red and reserve your reddit name today.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Enjoying your posts recently. Keep it up bro