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The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.
Posted 10y ago in Field Report - Permalink - Locked - 2.5K Views
Created By redpillschool
The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.
The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.
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[deleted] 10y ago
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DoxasticPoo 10y ago
This is the way to go.
Don't trust her. Always get the information you need.
If she's not banging these dudes, you have an attention whore. And that's not LTR material. But it is every-now-and-then-bang material.
If she is out banging other dudes, I would cut her off and move on. Plenty of other chicks out there.
meowlolcats 10y ago
but guuuys if you really love her you shouldn't need to check her phone. You should have faith in her and trust her to be faithful to you.
Haha jk
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
Finding something on her phone by chance is one thing, but going full detective through her phone is something a woman would do.
[deleted] 10y ago
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trpup 10y ago
I would love to, and this was my initial plan. Unfortunately valentines is 4 days away, and I don't want to take her out. Where to go from here?
Words of wisdom. I would love the full truth, but the valentines here is fucking up my plans. I also have a time period exactly 10~ seconds to snoop through her phone. Not enough time to read through all this.
I'm surprisingly not hurt so far, but we'll see what happens in the coming days when the feelings really sink in.
I'll be honest, I was always a "I trust her to do the right thing she would never do anything and I think a person's privacy is important" But I am a pragmatist so I think EVERY man should look through his girl's phone. It's a look to into the mind of a woman.
You might not like what you see, but you'll see the truth.
anonimouse628 10y ago
If you're interested in continuing the relationship, ask to look through her phone with her there. Theres a decent chance she hasnt fucked anyone, just orbited, and its your call where you draw the line. Checking her phone and shaming her for the clearly-unacceptable side relationships is the only chance to continue on with her.
Of course if she refuses to show the phone, you know she's fucking around, just call it quits. Be careful not to let her delete shit then "change her mind". She WILL try to do this. Document concrete specifics (like what you already saw, who, etc) so you wont end up second guessing yourself when she starts lying/trickle-truthing you.
Just remember, there are no unicorns. The odds of finding a girl who DOESNT orbit betas for attention is close to zero. In any relationship you'll have to catch it and draw hard lines and enforce them.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
Listen, there's lots of shit you can do.
Go to her house, have her take a shower, simply take her phone, exit her house, drive somewhere where she won't know where you are, put your phone on airplane mode and you'll have as much time as you need to look through her phone.
Then make up so me excuse for it, use your imagination. Or just tell her straight up that you saw the pic, and you needed to know for sure. Who the fuck gives a shit. You're not going to marry her. You're more important than her.
She already sent pictures of herself to another guy. I'm assuming these are lingerie shots or nudes?
Dogenificent 10y ago
If you don't want to take her out on V Day, don't take her out. Concern yourself more on what you want out of your relationship and your woman than theoretical mumbo jumbo.
You're not hurt because you don't care. You're already numbed out from trying too hard to get something you've been told you should have. So now you're resentful that she's not giving you the relationship you've been told you deserve. Do yourself a service and break up with her before you kill each other.
[deleted] 10y ago
The most important tip for any relationship, ever.
TheCasualHistorian 10y ago
Fuck Valentine's Day. Let one of her beta orbiters take her out for an expensive dinner. Go have whatever fun you want that night and make her wonder why the fuck you didn't call her or plan anything. You're not her entertainer.
[deleted] 10y ago
THIS.
AfterC 10y ago
Hit the clubs on V-Day. Guaranteed chocked to the brim with girls seeking validation.
TheCasualHistorian 10y ago
Amen. Make sure to go Thursday as well since girls will be hoping to meet Prince Charming ahead of time so that their Valentines Day is like some Kate Hudson movie. When they run into The Prince it'll be already too late.
YoHomeToBellair 10y ago
Dude, you say you aren't putting her on a pedal-stool. Why on earth would you make plans like that for someone you think is cheating on you? I mean like, maybe if you were going strong and like 2 peas in a pod sure. But if you felt you should give her a special V day she should be a special lady... I'm really sorry you feel this way about her, but you can't change those feelings. And this doesn't seem like the kind of lady who is looking for a special someone to share V day anyway. She just wants her pussy fucked any day of the year. But like most woman, won't say that outright for fear of being slut shamed. Remember, what women say is almost always far far far from the truth. They say they want someone special == they want lots of dick.
robesta 10y ago
At this point is be scared to look through my LTRs phone. I was pretty crushed when I looked through my ex wife's phone and found out about all the dicks she was taking. Plus she has a password, so that reduces the temptation. I'm 99.9% that my current LTR isn't taking any dicks on the side right now. I don't think she's attention whoring either, but who knows.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
I agree with this, don't waste your time. Keylog her, or her phone and figure out what the reality is so that you can know for the rest of your life, and then structure your life in a way where you won't need to do this for next time.
I don't do relationships, and if I did, her sexting some other guy would be enough for me to end it. I'm not stupid, it doesn't matter if there was more to it or wasn't more to it. I'd understand the reality of the situation and book it out of there before it affected me negatively.
He could also tell her that he cheated on her. Run with that for an hour, she'll probably throw what she did with other guys in his face.
[deleted] 10y ago
Emotional and physical cheating each lead to the other.
2comment 10y ago
I'm going to caution this is highly illegal (at best you can do your own computer and if they use it, that's their problem).
If an ltr is making me doubt her so much, I'm just going to drop her. No woman is going to cause me this level of anxiety.
I remember one paternity statistic that if a man doesn't think a woman was cheating, it's not his only 1.9% of the time, and if he does think she's cheating, that goes up significantly, like 29%.
Instinct and gut sense is powerful. In some cases, we ought to listen to it and not need validation.
RedBigMan 10y ago
I would imagine one factor is at work there.
Men who are sure their woman is not cheating are more likely to be alpha and confident.
Men who suspect cheating tend to be beta and supplicating.
We all know that beta dudes push their women away. Alpha men draw women into their frame and keep them there by sheer force of will and personality.
still_very_alive 10y ago
Looks an awful lot like confusing correlation and causation. Isn't it more likely to be the other way round? People who are being cheated on can spot the signs, and are thus more likely to suspect their kid isn't theirs?
RedBigMan 10y ago
Either way your gut will sense when something is wrong long before you intellectually know what is going on. At least that is how it is for blue pill guys. We know what that feeling in our gut means... NEXT!
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
If we could get that study, that would be awesome. Do you remember anything about it more specifically, maybe some keywords we can search?
2comment 10y ago
I don't remeber the study (I read it in this sub), but I took the stats from wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-paternity_event#Rates_of_non-paternity
The references there are okay as well, and googling keywords like nonpaternity and "low paternity confidence".
One such article cropped up right at the beginning: http://www.psc.isr.umich.edu/pubs/abs/4910
autowikibot 10y ago
	
	
	
Section 3. Rates of non-paternity of article Non-paternity event:
^Interesting: ^Paternity ^fraud ^| ^Misattributed ^paternity ^| ^NPE ^| ^Return ^of ^results
^\/u/2comment ^can [^delete](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=autowikibot&subject=AutoWikibot Deletion&message=%2Bdelete+cfbw3m8)^. ^Will ^also ^delete ^on ^comment ^score ^of ^-1 ^or ^less. ^| ^(FAQs) ^| ^Mods ^| ^Magic ^Words ^| [^flag ^a ^glitch](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/autowikibot&subject=Glitched comment report&message=What seems wrong: (optional description goes here)%0A%0A---%0A%0AReply no. 51690:%0Ahttp://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1xify3/checked_my_girls_phone_found_exactly_what_i_was/cfbw3dn)
RPGoon 10y ago
So, at best we can expect only 1 in 50 kids are not the husband's. I don't even like those odds. If I ever have a kid I'm doing a paternity test ASAP. Trust but verify.
[deleted] 10y ago
I love you autowikibot
[deleted] 10y ago
Fucking beta downvoting in this thread again. Why would you downvote that guy? Because "Boohoo, you can't go through a girl's phone"? You people disgust me. We need stronger moderation to keep these idiots out of here.
Zergrushin 10y ago
I downvoted him because he spelled it "expiriance". There's no excuse for that.
[deleted] 10y ago
That's something I can agree with.
cozycoffeecake 10y ago
This. I'm convinced there are more anti-RP lurkers than RP posters on this board.
Mightyskunk 10y ago
SRS is way too big, and it's just hate for everything good on Reddit.
[deleted] 10y ago
you should try posting out there in some place like advice animals.. you will get more downvotes than you've ever seen. Its kind of fun.
The world isn't ready to be unplugged
goodbytes95 10y ago
Anti-RP lurker here. You're probably right.
LetThemEatWar32 10y ago
I don't know about this. I agree with the TRP principles, but I also value privacy and feel like that's crossing a line. When the cops break in without a warrant, no matter what they find, there's no justification for it. Same applies.
He should probably just leave her.
[deleted] 10y ago
Shit dude, I wouldn't go through a girl's phone, and if one went through mine it'd be instant relationship ender. Privacy is important to some of us, we do not all have self esteem issues that need satisfied through snooping.
Mightyskunk 10y ago
My wife and I have an open phone policy. Full snoop. Hell, if mine's charged and hers isn't, and she has to go to the store or something, take mine. Leave hers to charge. Vice versa. Then again, she's pretty happy I'm on TRP, as it's killing my beta.
One of her friends called once while she was out. I answered, talked for a bit, then got done. When my wife got home, I told her. Now, she knows I think this friend is hot. So, she asked me if I told her to keep wearing those yoga pants.
I told her hell no, that stays safely in my head for my own viewing pleasure.
Fun wife I have.
This really went off course.
DragonflyRider 10y ago
I iwsh people would get over the idea that Alpha= "mean and hateful." Alpha= "Clear in thought and action" to me.
If you want a healthy relationship, be who you say you are, and demand that she be the same. if she's not, or you're not, why the fuck are you even trying?
2comment 10y ago
It's funny how the betas would be all like "honesty is the best policy" in r/relationshits or wherever, but when it comes to putting their money where their mouth is, like with a policy like this that is really laying it out there, they'd scream murder and privacy violations.
Mightyskunk 10y ago
We have four kids. Privacy is a thing of the past.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
Mightyskunk 10y ago
You could say the same thing to her. Wouldn't necessarily make it true.
strimpboi 10y ago
Could be a false sense of security. Keep an eye out for a hidden burner phone.
[deleted] 10y ago
Google voice also
[deleted] 10y ago
While I wouldn't let her watch over my phone, that actually doesn't sound too bad.
Mightyskunk 10y ago
It's an awesome deal. I love it.
CarterKillss 10y ago
as long as she drops you a nude or 2 for on the go haha. let the booty roll
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
DanReggins 10y ago
Downvotes here mean "still plugged in." You might disagree on a specific tactic advocated by GLO, but he's far from plugged in.
Offensive_Brute 10y ago
i thought reddit fuzzing votes only effected content karma and not comment karma.
[deleted] 10y ago
I agree with LubeOil. Even if he doesn't give a shit about her anymore, it's still useful, because he can learn something from it. I bugged my ex-gf's phone as well when we were still together, because it's just a useful thing to see if that bitch is cheating on you or not.
[deleted] 10y ago
how'd you do that
[deleted] 10y ago
She's got an android. There is an app called cerberus, which is meant to be used for tracking a device after it's been stolen.
If you know the password, you can track the location, read the sms and a lot of other stuff, all without the person ever knowing anything about it.
RedPill_Rorschach 10y ago
Wow, that's very illusive, man. ;)
But seriously, I wouldn't do it unless it is your phone you are lending her because it could be illegal and too much trouble. If you doubt her enough to snoop, you doubt her enough to dump her is what I think.
Zergrushin 10y ago
You mean elusive.
theubercuber 10y ago
Vote fuzzing is 10% tops (except for 3000 karma megaposts), and often doesn't kick in to that full 10% until there are hundreds of upvotes.
Also the 'snooping' advice isn't to 'catch' her or anything. It's to get the guy to stop hamstering himself and realize this girl really did something shitty for a long period of time with no guilt or second thoughts.
Conphas 10y ago
This. Right NOW the OP is angry and determined; two or three weeks from now the "what ifs" start fucking with his head. Unless the OP makes a heroic effort to bang any potential slam piece that even looks in his direction (i.e. preoccupied enough to keep the what ifs at bay), he's gonna have to deal with them. Knowing 100% that the sloot was dirty makes that process much less painful.
[deleted] 10y ago
When there's smoke there's fire, brother. If you have to deal with trickle truths then it's not worth the time.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
My advice for people in that situation is to do what they want to put all that crap to rest. Then structure their life in a way where they don't have to do this shit.
I guess I look at things as a system of probabilities, and what puts me off is not if the girl did something, but rather the situation in its entirety. Variables like how she thinks, who she talks to, how she talks to them, her upbringing, just literally everything like that; anything and everything of importance is a variable I look at. Once all variables are understood, what I get put off by is a bad situation, and I would book out of a bad situation.
I can see shit coming from a mile away. It's also possible that using this strategy I will severely fuck up my analysis somehow. It's very rare because you learn to read people and their actions, and when you have a full picture of everything, it's going to be right like 95% of the time. Maybe she didn't cheat, but you're 95% certain that she will, or that she's that type of girl, or etc.
I hope someone takes something out of what I'm saying.
cozycoffeecake 10y ago
This is the way I look at these things too. You let shit like OPs girl g on for long enough unchecked (read: without dumping her), then you're gonna get cheated on and get confronted with walls of tears and if you leave then they will beg and beg for you to come back. But it's all a trap, they will cheat again. You just have to put your foot down. Be done with the shit.
Speaking from much personal experience.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
Agreed. I'm done with it as well, for the foreseeable future. Considering changing default end game goal to non-monogamous as well.
And to add to what you have said, when she comes crying back, if you want, you can make it so that she serves your every desire.
cozycoffeecake 10y ago
Yes. But, if you had feelings for the female and she betrayed you then, at least for me, it isn't even worth it to have them in your life anymore. It's better to hurt them with your success and knowledge of your plates than to communicate with them whatsoever. Because they will still be plotting on how to get you back under their control so they can abuse you. Even more so, I do not think they hurt in the sense that we hurt. Their emotional pain seems very shallow and temporary, although they will exaggerate it and put on a show of tears as if they were a young child again crying for their will to be met, not knowing what it means to be told, metaphorically and figuratively speaking for the sake of irony, "Man up. You chose the actions you did, now you deal with the reality of the consequences of those actions and everything it implies."
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
I agree with you. That's why I don't give my feelings to these girls.
I can tell you that you can ultimatum everything after a girl does something. It's a pain in the ass, but if someone wants to go through the trouble of constant and perfect holding of frame and the readiness of walking at any moment (you will probably have to walk a couple of times), they can have the girl do whatever they want.
But they will be plotting, and you will have constant shit tests. I get bored of that. I already had that full control of a girl. It's not special for me any more in that sense, so the burden becomes greater than the benefit.
I agree, it's a fucked up type of emotion. IMO it's not real like we have it. To us, that emotion is strong enough that we opt out of dating sometimes. I'm not doing any LTRs, fuck that. But for girls, they get fucked over, and they have no problems going straight into other relationships. It's very different for them.
And I completely agree with your last sentence.
Bjass 10y ago
I tend to do this with every woman before I get serious that way I know when things start acting weird.
[deleted] 10y ago
just the usual red flag stuff.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
This is what Red Pill helps with, a really good theoretical understanding of how women work. Once you combine it with a practical approach, it's hard to be wrong.
You'll see different things from a mile away.
It's like being a very experienced lifeguard or [insert job here], and you just know that the way a kid jumped into the deepend, he/she doesn't know how to swim. There's no specific thing that made it look like that. It's the combination of what the kid didn't do and everything else about the environment. You just know.
[deleted] 10y ago
Yep: initially what brought me to TRP theory was experiences of my own going from fat, beta loser to a fit, damn good looking alpha man accomplishing every goal I set while planning for an incredibly rewarding future career in Engineering. People, not just woman, treat me so differently. This kind of change teaches one so much about human behavior, in one's own culture at least. Only caveat; I can't enjoy a conversation with most people. Too many people ignore deliberate use of language and just give away too much of their own insecurities and flaws by painting a picture of themselves they wish were true.
DarkCorvid 10y ago
Fascinating statement. What do you mean by 'deliberate language'?
[deleted] 10y ago
He has to learn from his mistakes somehow. I support that message. Sexual strategy is amoral.
SeekingAlpha 10y ago
You're taking that quote somewhat out of context. "Sexual strategy is amoral" means "what works works no matter the feels or right/wrong of it". It does not mean, as some seem to believe, "pursue your goal without any regard for ethics"...that's pure hamstering.
[deleted] 10y ago
If you can figure out by dissecting her history where you fucked up you're less likely to fuck up next time.
Ethics are a sliding scale, I wouldn't murder someone for aforementioned goal but I wouldn't feel any qualms about reading her shit. High functioning psychopaths are the master race after all.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
That's not hamstering. That is adopting the dark triad trait of pursuing self-interest with disregard to ethics / social norms / implied responsibility.
Very lucrative thing to do. My life has improved significantly after renouncing all the shit people and society place on you to do. What you should say, how you should say it, you know what I mean. Now I just speak my mind and don't give a shit. You will make some enemies, but other than that, life is good.
SeekingAlpha 10y ago
It was a misinterpretation of the quote. Your follow-up clarifies the confusion.
Most here would agree (not that you GAF!) on the benefits if disregarding others, however, you may fall into the minority when it comes to breaching another's property.
Ah well, enjoy the decline!
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
I'm well into the minority. With every day that passes, I become more self-centered and likewise my quality of life improves.
I'm well past caring about the state of this world. I do care about some things. Doctors without borders and starving children rate the highest on that list. Pretty much anything the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation concentrates on.
[deleted]
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
I think someone's a little mad.
[deleted]
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
I'm concerned with my own success. I'm getting my results. That's what matters.
I couldn't care what anyone thinks.
[deleted] 10y ago
Just because I downvote the post doesn't mean I disagree with it. This post is just another "TRP confirmed" post, we have hundreds of those every day.
[deleted] 10y ago
I wouldn't want someone going through my phone. Lets be honest. Phone snooping is for women.
youngbulker 10y ago
honestly if these girls are too stupid to realize phones have locks/pins/patterns or give them out freely to their bf's they deserve whats coming
gg_s 10y ago
Like Marissa Mayer (Yahoo! CEO).
YoHomeToBellair 10y ago
That line of thinking doesn't really make any sense. One could say that you're the beta for not having an alpha enough approach. No real alpha would be so insecure to read text messages like a high school girl on his FB's phone because he thinks she isn't his one and only. Maybe the people up voting are betas, and the people down voting are alphas?
[deleted] 10y ago
No real alpha? You're the guy who says who's a real alpha and who's not?
Let me tell you something, bro. I know what women are like, and that's exactly the reason why I chose to spy on her. No please stop this "You're no real alpha" bullshit.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
It just depends what stage the alpha is in. I had to snoop on my ex, back when I had a relationship. It went good for me because I learned some reality behind how women think. She wasn't doing anything, but there was some shit that was surprising to me. Things that were in the closet that I would never find out.
The information that I learned of helped me on my path to becoming more red pill (more understanding of how it all works).
It was a much higher net positive than if I would have simply not snooped.
But right now, I see no reason to snoop. If I'm in a situation, I'll most likely be able to ascertain the background reality of what's going on and take actions accordingly. I have the luxury of not having to snoop because I can figure out without it.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 10y ago
Thanks for the advice mate, but I'm safe. Just knowing that it's illegal is a useful thing though.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
How is she going to find out if you keylog her computer? It's completely hidden, and it stays dormant.
DragonflyRider 10y ago
My sister just caught her husband doing this shit, wondered why he was so paranoid, didn't say anything, and hired a detective.
She got the kids, the house, the car, the dog, a large alimony payment...If you're gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough.
EDIT: I just realized this might be seen in two ways: Anti TRP or pro TRP. I was mostly saying that if you take this route, you better be ready for the consequences! He thought he was alpha as fuck. Now he can't afford to buy condoms, much less go out and hit the bars.
rubixd 10y ago
Going through someone's phone should only be done if it seriously smells like cheating. Breaking someone's privacy is wrong, some morals need to be maintained in the dating world.
Just to be clear: in this situation I would have done the same, and not felt bad. I just don't think breaking someone's privacy by going through their phone should be taken quite so lightly, or accompanied by the phrase "you people disgust me".
[deleted] 10y ago
So you wanna dictate the way I'm supposed to act? Do whatever suits you best, but don't tell me or anybody else here about how we're supposedly morally wrong.
rubixd 10y ago
No. You can and will do whatever you want. I'm just saying I think you're an asshole for saying people who don't automatically breach privacy are disgusting.
[deleted] 10y ago
Cut her off like a gangrenous limb.
[deleted] 10y ago
Next her. Go lift
drallcom3 10y ago
Yeah, dump her.
Your feelings about her are already not the best. Don't bother explaining it to her or talking about it. You know she'll turn it on you.
Red_Work 10y ago
This guy gets it. Have an upvote.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 10y ago
Doctor; "what seems to be the problem?"
Patient; "My girlfriend, she..."
Doctor; "lift"
Patient; "Wha.."
Doctor; "LIFT!"
[deleted]
[deleted] 10y ago
Of course he thought of it, and then he experienced the usual sense of loss/scared feelings/no one will ever find me attractive again mindset that is so common in men. He came to this board because he wanted encouragement and a nudge in the right direction, which is of course to leave his slut girlfriend.
Katoska 10y ago
Why do you hate it? OP asks what he should do next, advice is to kick her to the curb, move on and continue with life. Where is the problem with that?
[deleted] 10y ago
You think he should stay with her? Think of it this way...is this woman good enough to be the mother of his children? Is this woman good enough to put all his love and resources into for the rest of his life? Would you want the mother of your kids flirting with other men/sending cute pics? Is that the kind of woman you trust? The OP knows what he has to do, knows he deserves better than her, he just needs some support from this forum. OP posted this situation to this forum knowing exactly the kind of responses he was going to get, he's just looking for confirmation.
insickness 10y ago
Well, it's not clear what the situation is. Is OP exclusive or non-exclusive with this girl? If he is exclusive with her, one of his options is to drop her down to a plate and see her every three weeks. I've had girls straighten their shit out and get in line after doing this. If they're not exclusive, then who fucking cares what this girl does? It's not cheating if they were never exclusive. I'd continue to fuck her. It sounds like they were exclusive and he put a lot of thought and energy into this girl and he might have feelings for her too. In which case he probably should next her. But the answer is far from clear cut.
[deleted] 10y ago
"It sounds like they were exclusive and he put a lot of thought and energy into this girl and he might have feelings for her too."
How is this not clear cut?
insickness 10y ago
Where in his post does it say he's exclusive with her?
[deleted] 10y ago
"Never cheated on her even though i had chances from hotter girls"
insickness 10y ago
Alright, then he should drop her down to non-exclusive. Problem solved. She sounds like a bit of an attention whore anyway so I wouldn't want to be in an LTR with this girl.
Invalidity 10y ago
Does it even fucking matter? She sent pictures to another dude and they're in some kind of relationship. If you're gonna stick your dick in something, you don't want to catch something without knowing what your full risk is.
insickness 10y ago
It does matter. If I'm not exclusive with a girl, I don't care what she does. I don't ask her. I don't snoop her phone. She's a plate. She can do whatever she wants just like I can do whatever I want. Once I start to care, she's not a plate anymore. And sending a 'cute' picture? It wasn't even nude. Who fucking cares. If she's my girlfriend it's a different story. Are you really gonna snoop a girl's phone when you're not even exclusive with her? Welcome to the land of insecurity.
Invalidity 10y ago
He keeps on saying it's his damn girl and everything in his post indicates more than just friends so I'm gonna make a valid assumption with his rant that they are in some kind of arrangement beyond the FWB level.
Even in those multi-partner relationships, you'd want full disclosure if someone is fucking 3 different people every day of every week.
insickness 10y ago
Are you kidding me? Until we're exclusive I don't ask who she's dating and she's not allowed to ask who I'm dating. Anyone with any relationship experience knows that if you ask her whether she's dating anyone else, she's going to turn around and ask you the same exact question. And if I'm not ready to be exclusive with her, I don't want to know.
sasaraix 10y ago
Doesnt matter if she cheat or not. Sending sexy picture to guy is over the boundary. She is not LTR material.
BorMato 10y ago
Yeah he doesn't even need to go snooping on her phone because the sexy pic thing is already over the line.
NEXT
[deleted] 10y ago
I'd soft next her - never mention what you know, just start treating her like an absolute cunt; call her over to fuck, then ask her to leave, cum in her face, record it on your phone, cancel plans last minute for no reason, tell her to work out more, make her cook meals for you, then tell her to wash up, just generally be a complete asshole to her, really fuck with her mind, and definitely start fucking other women. Then see how her behaviour changes - and her phone habits.
dandeezy 10y ago
If you're not invested in this girl, don't be dramatic about it. No confrontation etc.
I'd say cut contact for a month and be fwb from here on out. The state of the world didn't change, just your perception of it. You don't have to give everybody the reasons of why you do things, just do them.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
And now you see why we assholes do it. Can't lose being an asshole.
As for what you should do? Couple of options.
Keep her where she is and fuck other girls on the side.
Pretend that you're keeping her where she is and only use her for sex and fuck other girls on the side.
Actually downgrade her to fuck buddy and fuck other girls on the side.
You can openly fuck other girls or hide it, up to you. I would personally use her to my maximum self-interest. If that means hiding it, then that is what I would do.
What the fuck is this? /r/relationships?
TfahsNoriEht 10y ago
Gettin there
afcpoop 10y ago
This.
If she doesn't have respect for you and is obviously USING YOU for whatever reason, you should do the same thing. People will tell you to talk about it with her but she won't have any accountability. If anything, talk to her about it and TAKE NOTES ON HOW WOMEN LIE AND MANIPULATE. You know, she probably does love you and everything. She just wants more from other sources. Take what you can get and stop focusing on honoring boundaries she obviously ignores. Spin plates, she is.
[deleted] 10y ago
she probably loves the way you make her feel*
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
I know, that's the fucked up part. They don't have the same love from their side. It's so different, the way it works.
Sturmgeist781 10y ago
Your name is inaccurate. I totally like your opinion.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
I kept posting on /r/relationships, no one would take my advice. The OP would post an update, I would link back to my original advice and it would be 95% on the mark. Bitches just didn't like reality and downvoted me. So I threw on this name.
Then I found trp, and now all is well.
Digitalabia 10y ago
You're an idiot. Of course your g/f isn't super loyal; you're a dick to her. By your own admission you didn't do anything to make her feel special. Most of the guys on TRP are lonely losers and not someone from whom you should take advice. Women want to feel like they are your best friend and equal. If you do that, you will be fine. Any other method is doomed for failure. Terms like 'beta' are overly simplistic and nonsensical in the real world of love.
nerdyfitnessguy 10y ago
Use the collective wisdom of the millions of guys this has happened to and downgrade her. She gets nothing but dick and a Happy Meal (if she behaves) from now on. You're back on the market.
SmokeU 10y ago
Downgrade. She obviously isn't marriage material, even if that is what you were looking for. It's time to start exploring other options. Don't tell her what you found, you will just be seen as crazy and overprotective, which will ruin your chances of fucking her friends. Just give her a taste of her own medicine, treat it like a hot piece of ass and start seeing those hotter ladies. Keep that fish on a line until you catch something bigger. Keep the power in your court and dump her ass on your own terms. But DO NOT ask her about the texts. You already know enough to know she is no unicorn so save yourself the heartache and the drama by making moves biased on the information you already have because it's all you need. And don't tell her why you want a break either cause that will really fuck with her hamster brain trying to figure out why she isn't good enough. Only to eventually realize you knew about her orbiters. And next time she is in a relationship hopefully she won't be that dumb or needy. Hopefully.
robesta 10y ago
I think you just ghost and don't talk to her again. You don't need to explain yourself.
[deleted]
deepthrill 10y ago
No it's not.
Emphasis? The point of ghosting someone is that there is no emphasis on anyone anymore. You're simply gone.
Since when is standing up for yourself and removing yourself from a toxic situation not contributing to your personal growth?
You don't have to use every situation as a chance to "practice" confrontation. Sometimes it's better for you to leave a situation. I don't go looking for bar fights or political debates so I can practice confrontation, for example.
SHIT SHOULD NOT NEED TO BE SAID OUTLOUD. She already knows what was expected of her from the "exclusive" label.
Disagree. No matter how he says this, it's going to come across as sincere, and I seriously doubt it will help him. You're making excuses or reasons for him to stay with her and give her the chance to change, while others are saying to find someone who doesn't need a second chance to change.
[deleted] 10y ago
Edited my post to make it clearer. You seem under the presumption I was suggesting he give her another chance. I wasn't. I don't understand why suggesting to run from a relationship and not confront it before you leave is good advice.
deepthrill 10y ago
Well, you suggested confronting her and possibly still fucking her:
In my opinion, once you've been in a relationship with a girl, it's exceedingly difficult to relegate her to just a fuck buddy without any emotional attachment. By keeping her around as as fuck buddy, you're essentially allowing her to stay in his life. I think that is, to some degree, rewarding her behavior by giving her sex (even though he can stand up for himself and not be exclusive with her anymore).
Do you believe the OP would be able to simply turn her into a fuck buddy and keep her at arm's length? I think it may be possible for some guys, but a healthier perspective (and one with less emotional risk) for the OP would be to leave the situation.
Running from something usually has the connotation of fear in our society. I would phrase it as turning his back on her and walking away smiling towards other, better women.
But analogies aside, I would ask you: What is the goal of the confrontation? In any situation, even if it's emotional, I have a goal for my actions.
If his goal by confronting her is to change her behavior, then I would say that's giving her a second chance to change.
If his goal is to vent to her, I would say he should vent to his male friends and not her.
If his goal is to give her a chance to explain herself, I would say that's not standing up for himself.
If his goal is to "practice" or overcome any anxiety of confrontations, I'd say there are better ways to achieve this.
In all seriousness, what would you presume the goal to be by confronting her?
Edit: I see your edit "Then get out and never look back." but my question to you stands: what is the goal of the confrontation?
JD42305 10y ago
I see it from both sides. I did the ghosting thing. Girls are clueless. Unless she was blatantly gangbanging 5 guys around the time that you were supposed to see her, she will never know she did anything wrong. Ghosting her is pretty easy. If you use it as a tool, good. But if you use it as some subconscious way to punish her without confronting her, that's weak. If you need to get your shit, you'll probably need to communicate to her. Grab your balls, hold your frame, and talk to her telling her that you are leaving the relationship and it's final. That's a harder thing to do as a man. If you simply just don't care enough to talk to her, good. But if you're doing it to teach the batch a lesson, it's weak, and it won't change her. Whatever you do, do it for you not to her.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
Thank god you came in here and laid out some sense.
robesta 10y ago
Well said. And as for the "second chance to change", women DO NOT CHANGE, they are what they are.
deepthrill 10y ago
Yup. His post reeked of /r/relationship advice.
Some (see /r/redpillwomen ) make an effort to improve themselves and change positively by stifling some of their more baser instincts. But you want to find them after they've made an effort (if that), and definitely not before they have, and have settled in to their existing solipsistic ways, which seems to describe OP's girl.
robesta 10y ago
I guess it's possible, but it would take some serious self awareness and determination. Turning off the attention whore is a journey not a switch. Plus, no matter what, OP will never trust her again.
JD42305 10y ago
I'd be interested to have a census of truly what type of girls joined that sub. I wonder if some of these girls were actually manipulative attention craving whores in the past. Or if they're all post wall already.
deepthrill 10y ago
Whatever their backgrounds are, they are definitely self-aware, I'll give them that.
[deleted] 10y ago
This is excellently put
[deleted] 10y ago
What a fucking waste if time. DTB and work on your career OP. Doing oibsess or rationalize or try to mend this shit. Draw the strongest boundary possible and get rud of her.
robesta 10y ago
To paraphrase, you're basically saying to turn her into a plate. That's not bad advice. He has to decide how bitter he's going to be about the abuse of his trust and decide if her pussy is worth the effort it would take to downgrade her.
As for the "secure in confrontation" piece, I disagree that actively confronting women is a good thing. I used to do that in my beta blue pill days and it never got me anywhere. Why bother? She actively did not have boundaries with other men. What are you trying to get out of her? An admission that she is an attention whore/straight up whore? Good luck ever getting that out of a woman. Even if you did, what difference does it make. OP thought she may have been a whore and she proved him right, it's up to him what he does with this knowledge.
Nexting her isn't bad advice. There are tons of women out there and there is no reason to have that kind of drama in your life unless you so choose.
[deleted] 10y ago
I'm not talking about doing it coming from a "beta" frame. I'm talking about a way of facing fears and growing a more masculine energy. Men face their fears. Guys these days don't try and desensitize themselves to rejection, confrontation fear, etc etc. They let people push them around and don't call girls out when they act like sluts. Fear is the strongest motivator for humans. Maybe she'll avoid fucking around in her next relationship if you give her the reasons you're leaving. Who knows. I'm just saying don't take the easy way out and just "ghost" her. It makes your brain think you can do that with every uncomfortable situation.
robesta 10y ago
Your job isn't to fix this chick for the next guy. Fuck her and fuck the next guy. Not your problem.
Ghosting her is literally the opposite of letting her push you around. Going ghost on someone you're in an LTR with is not "the easy way out." You spend time developing comfort and a connection with someone, and you are dropping them from your life immediately. Its not easy. Its maintaining respect for yourself and not tolerating toxic people in your life.
FuriousMouse 10y ago
Men say what they are going to do and then do it.
robesta 10y ago
Or they just do it. Why does he owe her an explanation?
FuriousMouse 10y ago
He doesn't, it is about "Owning your environment".
When you make an commitment, be it work, relationship, buying a car or something else, you don't just walk away from it without saying a word.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
Why can't you accept that "owning your environment" = "doing what benefits you"? If it's better for him to just hard next and not look back, what's the problem?
I've hard nexted someone like that. Just up and disappeared. I wasn't going to waste a second more of my time with her. And then I went and did shit that I find interesting instead of talking to her for whatever the fuck reason I would need to do that. I was done with her. I could gain nothing more from her. So I cut everything. Talking to her or anything like that would be wasting my time as I gained nothing from it.
robesta 10y ago
First and foremost, owning his environment is deciding who he allows in his environment. She violated his boundaries. A committed relationship is not a blank check. Moving on is not the bitch move.
deepthrill 10y ago
Might make him feel better. He shouldn't do it for her, but for himself if he wants.
robesta 10y ago
Agreed. Talking to her about it will not bring closure and she is not going to change. Not sure what the point of talking to her would be.
deepthrill 10y ago
Yup. Well it's the same reason people feel the need to vent here depending on their stage in this process. It may be only to be cathartic which might have some value to some people.
Redonqulus 10y ago
Blow her off, go fuck the hotter girls you refer to.
robesta 10y ago
I think if he was a blue piller, he may have get catharsis by bitching her out and giving her a hard time about her cheating.
He did say he found exactly what he expected tho. The fact that he expected that shows he's red pill. Since he's red pill, why bother hearing her hamster spin. Just next her and call it a day.
FuriousMouse 10y ago
It is a part of "Owning your shit", it is your problem, you handle it.
robesta 10y ago
That's the point. She's no longer his problem.
[deleted] 10y ago
Fuck her best friend. Then send her the pic.
-
Fuck bitches.
Lipophobicity 10y ago
The relationship is over, she is seeking other males, if they are fucking her or not at this point is almost irrelevant. You have 3 choices:
If you are the type of guy who would be bothered not knowing, get the smoking gun and next her. If you can't find proof, then just use #2 below
Downgrade, don't even mention the phone. If the sex was like you described then plating her should be fairly easy to do.
dddude1 10y ago
Any updates? are still hanging in there and not taking her out for valentines? Has the rage kicked in yet? lol
elmariachi304 10y ago
I like the downgrade to fuck buddy approach. Get yours and get emotionally detaches asap
Offensive_Brute 10y ago
I like option 2 for your situation. confrontation and snooping imply that you give too many fucks. Just quietly and without confrontation put her on the back burner.
ilike2partyhowaboutu 10y ago
Just drop her and don't let her know why.. telling her won't make a difference.
siqniz 10y ago
Why go though all the trouble of snooping? You already know what happened, just scoop her out a few more times and be done with it
AbsoluteAltitude 10y ago
Drop the plate, go to the gym, fuck another one. This chick isn't LTR material, sending flirty bullshit to anyone but you is more than enough to next the fuck out of her
[deleted] 10y ago
If it were me and with 50 years of life experience I would play it cool.
Gather evidence, pictures texts. Any money she owes you, and then decide, do not do anything hasty.
BorMato 10y ago
I would agree. Keep a level head, play it smart.
kentpilot 10y ago
Try talking to her?
nninja 10y ago
Next her. Also, why the fuck are you "taking her out all the time"? You should have better things to do and smarter ways to spend your time and money.
SgtSplacker 10y ago
Attention whoring is cheating..
[deleted] 10y ago
Yeah. that's the funny thing that a lot of guys don't realize.
SgtSplacker 10y ago
Women use sexual tension to generate orbiters. Any kind of sexual suggestion no matter how subtle is cheating. Any kind of situation that if left unchecked can lead to sex is cheating.
TRPsubmitter 10y ago
I would do a combination of 2 and 3.
2) She should be dead to you. She is still available pussy so don't burn the bridge, but she is low priority in the sense that you aren't emotionally invested anymore. Game other girls starting NOW. But you can certainly fuck her more often than just once every 3 weeks. Use that resource while it lasts.
3) I would straight up tell her; I know you been creeping around with other guys. Don't be specific or tell you snooped her phone. She knows what she did and if you say it, she will say "how do u know?" but she knows deep down inside it's true.
So tell her that you will be fucking other girls. She can do what she wants with whomever and it's cool. But don't expect to game you while you sit on the sidelines.
Result: she will try harder. She will "redouble her efforts". She will be on guard. If she thinks she has something to lose (you), she will probably cut the guy off, at least temporarily. By stating outright, you will pursue other options, that shows she could lose you. But no matter what she does, still pursue other girls. She is NOT a gf anymore
This is the way to manipulate your way into getting her to submit. Prepare for even better blowjobs and better sex. Remember that she is basically a child with her hand in the cookie jar; she needs an authority to slam it shut on her knuckles, spank her and set boundaries for her to cherish and follow.
medguy22 10y ago
Please listen to this guy. It's a game-changer when you realize being mad doesn't help anything. Always ask yourself, "What is the course of action that will bring about the greatest good for me?"
routesixtysix 10y ago
To me you sound insecure that you don't trust your girl. Even if she is going for extra compliments why don't you have faith? I mean if you are doing a good job in the sack and emotionally then she shouldn't have a reason to leave. If she does then you are lacking something...
trpup 10y ago
I have no faith in god, how can you tell me to have faith in a woman?
routesixtysix 10y ago
I don't see why you brought religion into this... But anyways like I said it sounds like you have no faith in yourself. If you were doing it right she wouldn't need anyone else.
trpup 10y ago
I'm telling you having faith in things is stupid, i do not accept the concept itself.Where do you get this psycho babble from? Are you a woman? This is classic woman shaming.
She's cheating on you, therefore it's your fault. LOL
klabboy 9y ago
One we have faith every single day. You have faith that when you sit on a chair it doesn't break. You have faith that when you fall asleep you will wake up tomorrow. I don't even know how it's possible to reject faith as you would turn into a non moving human being incapable of doing anything if you lacked/rejected all faith. Faith is not just a religious thing. Faith brings about real world change. Like having faith that you can go to the gym and get bit muscles.
I've heard that women cheat to replace the relationship while men cheat to Supplement the relationship. But clearly if she is cheating on you there is not something good with the relationship and you should break up with her right away.
throwawaybeginner 10y ago
I was in a similar situation but it was a lot more messy, even after I found out and confronted her, she cried and begged me to stay and I tried to make it work and "fix" the relationship. After going through her shit and finding out it was even worse than I thought I realized I had no feelings for her anymore and just left. Soon after that I found TRP, and I realized me being beta might have bee part of the reason we broke up. But anyway from my experience, learning more about the other guys has made it a lot harder to get over her. Seeing her or any of them on campus fucking sucks. I still imagine her doing stuff with them and get depressed once in a while. At the same I don't know if i would have just straight left her had I seen all the things she did. She wanted to be fuck buddies after I said I was done, but honestly fuck that. You betrayed me you don't deserve my dick even if I was the "only one who made you cum". I straight ghosted her and WISH I did it back when I found out the first time. It would have been 10 times easier to get over that whore and get on to new pussy.
[deleted]
[deleted] 10y ago
Agreed, options 1 and 2 are the only options. Don't waste your time looking for more evidence, OP. She's not worth a real portion of your time.
DanG3 10y ago
You can't feed a women 100% Alpha in a LTR and expect her instinctual brain is going to "see" YOU as LTR material. Women are instinctually looking for beta security and providers - as well as Alpha traits. Yes, it is the Alpha that attracts their attention, gives them the gina tingles, and gets them initially hooked. But, if you don't (occasionally) show you have a beta side they instinctually start looking for betas. They don't necessarily know why, nor can they stop themselves (any more than you can turn off a hard-on). So, IF you want to keep a QUALITY woman in a LTR you have to provide BOTH a mix of Alpha and beta - at various times of her cycle, at that!
That said, this chic sounds "young" at best - if not an attention whore or cheater, at the worst. Cheaters are going to cheat, and if you want to deal with all that shit there are ways to Game her ... or fuck her over (mentioned in this tread). In any case, she is not LTR material and it is actually the best revenge, and best for the Manosphere, that she learn that her behavior is NOT acceptable to Men. KICK HER ASS UNCEREMONIOUSLY - without drama or fanfare - TO THE CURB.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
Wow, that's beautiful. That Red Pill was just handed to you on a silver platter.
Sturmgeist781 10y ago
Could have started a train on her and recorded it.
/shrug
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
punis1 10y ago
Just watch Kate Upton's scenes and that movie is great. Disregard the rest.
Wings_of_bacon 10y ago
Yeah this thread is full of the stuff that makes trp look bad. You mention a guy that you seen a text in the first week. Are you guys "exclusive"? Have you gotten something verbal that you are dating? Im also guessing you guys have been "dating" for a few weeks. The truth is she is spinning plates with you.
ilike2partyhowaboutu 10y ago
I watched that whole trailer... how oblivious to reality can women be if they don't know the guy they are banging is married?
czabak 10y ago
I was about to suggest dread game, but given the fact that she's already sending out slut pics to other dudes I would cut contact and move on ASAP.
MMonReddit 10y ago
What's dread game?
ilike2partyhowaboutu 10y ago
"If you don't suck my dick how I want it.. there are plenty of women you know who will.."
So either she starts sucking.. or she starts walking.
Sturmgeist781 10y ago
Or she starts using teeth.
ilike2partyhowaboutu 10y ago
Yeah.. ok.. taken from the Tank Girl script:
"Don't be stupid. She's gonna bite it off.
The moment I feel teeth, you feel lead."
ButterMyBiscuit 10y ago
Sidebar, bro.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 10y ago
Newbies cannot into sidebar
[deleted] 10y ago
Every time I see you comment I am amused by your wit and then in awe of your username. I fucking love that band.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
ButterMyBiscuit 10y ago
http://therationalmale.com/2012/03/27/dread-games/
Sturmgeist781 10y ago
Thanks BMB
Varrian 10y ago
Julius Caesar once said "My wife must be above suspicion". As in there should not be even a single doubt cast upon her being faithful to him. If you have doubts, fb that shit and find one you don't have to worry about.
I understand that in TRP we say AWALT and expect them to cheat as is their hypergamous ways but that doesn't mean you should be checking up on her every five minutes. If you don't want that shit in your life, kick her to the curb.
[deleted] 10y ago
I agree that checking her phone consistently is clingy and shit but it seems reasonable to when the opportunity presents itself. If you check her phone now and again and have clear proof that she isn't pushing the boundaries of the relationship, that is a fuck of a lot better for peace of mind than beta "trust" or alpha "assurance". If there's one thing we can agree on in this sub, both alphas and betas get cheated on.
RedPillD 10y ago
Who is this comment intended for? This isn't OP's wife and it's the first time he checked her phone after he felt she was cheating.
Varrian 10y ago
The principle applies to every relationship you have. Are you gonna wait till you're married to put this into practice? I sure as hell will not.
RedPillD 10y ago
You're still plugged in. I can agree with everything except your first two sentences. If you've read the sidebar and the many posts that pop up about not getting married, and you still want to get married, whatever.
But, the whole point of dating is to determine if a girl is LTR material. "My wife must be above suspicion" applies to your wife. It applies to the girl you've been dating long enough to decide to sign a contract in which you receive nothing of value in return.
And lets take this further. "Must be above suspicion" sounds noble and shit but it is denying the nature of women. I wouldn't apply this to my wife even if I ever got married. No one is above their nature.
Maybe you'll get lucky and find a well raised, RPW girl, be alpha enough to not create the desire for her to cheat, and live in circumstances that don't allow her to cheat. But "above suspicion" applies to unicorns, and unicorns don't exist.
Varrian 10y ago
Did you even read the post I made? I said that the principle applies to everyone you date not just your wife. The entire premise of your argument is just enforcing what I said. I'm saying if you have suspicions that a chick is cheating you should next her. What the hell did you read?
Secondly, nowhere in there did I ever say I was getting married. Read too much of TRP to be that stupid. Please read this shit before you post next time. And don't put words in other peoples mouths; it's annoying.
RedPillD 10y ago
Yes, you could not get married and this statement would still be correct, but it is implying you are planning on getting married.
Here is where we are not agreeing. You misrepresented the quotes actual meaning. Reading just those two sentences without context, like I did, I interpreted that quote to mean, Caesar cast aside all feelings that his wife was ever cheating on him because that is the "noble" thing a husband should do. I interpreted it as Caesar is the one not casting the doubt. But after reading the historical context, he meant others. Since he was a politician, if anyone thought poorly of his wife, they would associate that negative connotations with him. And so, even though he personally thought she was innocent, he divorced her because others thought she was guilty.
So coming from someone who has not heavily studied European history, I hope your jimmies weren't rustled too much, it was just a misunderstanding.
Varrian 10y ago
Here's what we're gonna do:
We're gonna agree that this guy needs to next this chick. Then we're gonna stop assuming shit about each other and move on.
If you had to look at most quotes in context they wouldn't apply to any relevant situation that people use them in. Let's just agree that this guy needs to move.
Doomsday_ 10y ago
She's almost certainly cheated.
The proper response: fuck her best friend.
[deleted] 10y ago
no your mistake is to think that a true LTR is possible at a university. sorry, but school is just as much about fucking as it is about learning.
sluz 10y ago
Downgrade to Fuck buddy until you find the Next.
grizah 10y ago
If you are at the snooping stage. Trust is lost and you should probably end things anyways.
Hardparty 10y ago
NEXT
[deleted] 10y ago
I don't understand all the shit in this post and thread.
You don't trust her. You don't seem to care that much about leaving her. Why confront her, snoop, or whatever? That's beta shit honestly. Just tell her the way things are going to be and move on to the next one.
birdwontquit 10y ago
So you didn't answer my question if it was a nude, but I'm assuming it wasn't since if it was you would have said so.
Here's my opinion, and where I break with most of the advice in this thread: no other woman you date will EVER be any different. You wanna next her and find another one she will still be talking to five guys on the side. That's just what women do. If she cheated on you, sure, dump the bitch, but understanding and embracing what women are like from the jump will serve you far better in the long run.
lono12 10y ago
Truth. They're all like this. You need to get over that fantasy of finding the one and being happy forever and start spinning plates.
phathack 10y ago
NEXT
abcd_z 10y ago
No, there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you can do everything right and she still doesn't behave the way you want her to. That's what happens when you are in a relationship with another person with free will: you can't really control their behavior.
[deleted] 10y ago
Ask her the questions you require to learn from the situation without giving away what you really know. After that tell her what you found. Don't be sad, angry or upset but just emotionless. Once you do that, tell her it's over and you're simply just disappointed in her.
LostontheAverage 10y ago
You sound beta as fuck op you need to get the fuck out. Let her know what she did, though because how else can a dog learn? Keep it short and sweet. I went through your phone I saw what you did, I'm out! Keeping her as a fuck buddy when she is talking to 5 dudes while in a relationship with you sounds like a good way to get an std from a whore that will take any cock she can get the second she doesn't have to be careful when shes texting. Also seriously get tested
Gold-Summary 10y ago
You can't fix someone who's broken. Like a guy texting her is ok if it's work related but if it's flirting and if she's encouraging it, then well you know the answer. No sense talking about it. This isn't a discussion. She'll evade the truth, cover it up or deny it, gaslight the situation and try to tell you it's all in your head. So no sense wasting that couple hours on a chat.
Men are things of action. We act or we don't. The fact we discuss anything on TRP is only to help us act in a way that is congruent to TRP philosophy because it's better overall in terms of results. If it wasn't we would be doing something different.
The philosophy is to do what works... and clearly what you've been doing isn't working if she is gonna disrespect herself like that.
So moving on...
If you need a fuck buddy, that's up to you. But you'll be getting some other guy's leavings so to me that's not something I would personally do, but that's your call. What can happen is a particularly nasty girl will start cuckolding you... fucking another guy bareback almost immediately before meeting up and fucking you, and then asking you to go down on her before sex. She seems like she is like that... you wouldn't be paranoid thinking she might do it to you if you still fuck her once in a while. Some chicks love to hurt men.
My feeling is there are lots of other women around. Just stop talking to her and walk. Don't explain it. Save your time and energy for someone who understands how to treat a man with respect.
If she knows you're into TRP, she knows that orbiters are a big no-no, and she did it anyway.
Jaereth 10y ago
I would ghost on her. I heard that a girl I was dating was kissing another guy at a bar one night, and as soon as I heard that (from a trusted friend of course) I went to her apartment, got all my shit I had there and left.
The thing is, with all that hamstering that goes on, they still know. In the back of her mind she still knows what she did. She called me crying and apologizing immediately when she came home and discovered I had pulled out of there. There was no asking "why did you leave" "why are you mad" she knew what she did wrong and simply apologized.
People try to portray men who cheat as absolute dogs. Women should be held to the same standard as men (right fems?). I would give her as little information as possible and just move on as fast as you possibly can. If you guys were supposedly in an exclusive relationship and she's sexting some dude at work the ships half sunk already, and that is more than enough reason to get rid of her assuming you respect yourself.
le_king_falcon 10y ago
Same shit, different day, different woman.
Don't go ghost on her.
Tell her to her face what you saw, then leave and go ghost. Don't say you're hurt, don't even say you don't forgive cheating. Just the cold hard facts and walk. It is less aloof but its showing her that you have your principles and your frame. Plus you won't have to deal with the whole "why are you doing this to meeeeeee?" charade whilst she puts out feelers to work out of how fucked she is.
elderstorm 10y ago
But he needs to know if she cheated. If she's willing to send pics, she's willing to smash
le_king_falcon 10y ago
If she sends PIC next her.
Once she's gone doesn't matter if she sucked every dick on earth as long as you get away STD and string free.
elderstorm 10y ago
That's what i'm saying.
football1010 10y ago
OP get another girl to phone your girl. The girl will introduce herself as a person one of these orbiters is seeing. Have this girl ask your girl if she has had intercourse with orbiter. Next she will tell your girl she got infected with HIV as a result of intercourse with said orbiter and follow up on her initial question. Fear of an STD will get the truth out of your girl real fast.
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[deleted] 10y ago
I'd say stop wasting your time with her and move on. Once you've lost alpha status with a woman to the point where she's looking for alternative dick, it's really hard to regain that status. You're better off figuring out where you went wrong and finding a new woman that you can keep under control.
kasp-throwaway 10y ago
If it was me I would sit her down and go "I know"
Don't reveal what you know and say she has one chance to come clean. After all at this stage it doesn't really matter you know shes betrayed you and right now it is just a matter of scale. Doesn't matter what she says here but it's over however you might find out the truth and you don't need to go through all that shit on snooping further.
Just tell her flat out it's over after this since she hasn't been honest and more truth will probably come out. If you want her as a plate then say something like we will see what the future holds and then meet her every 3 weeks or so.
However using ex's as a plate is usually a whole bunch of drama but you could just cut the drama when it occurs.
ThisisMalta 10y ago
If u downgrade her to just sex, wrap your tool bro..she'll be desperately wanting you back in a LTR and girls do crazy shit when they want to keep a man..you don't wanna get this chick preggo.
fillymandee 10y ago
Truth.
drewbaccha 10y ago
Where there's smoke... There's no point in staying in a house while it's burning to the ground. Ghost or demote her and move on.
[deleted] 10y ago
Real talk, and I know I'm gonna get downvoted for this, but why are you even writing this?
I mean why are you even remotely surprised? You didn't treat her like a girlfirend, like a girl who should be loyal to you, so why the fuck do you care if she isn't loyal to you either? Sounds like your just fuck buddies anyway.
Stop seeing her if you can't handle it or just continue to fuck her and do whatever the hell you want with other girls.
Also, going through her phone sounds like a beta tactic to me man. Funny how you call yourself a alpha and this other guy a beta when you do shit like that.
I don't think you might be as "alpha" as you think you are if this rattles you man.
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
Telling her anything indicates that you care what she thinks and/or feel the need to explain your actions because they might be unjustifiable. Fuck that. Call me Casper.
BTHspooner 10y ago
I think it's bull when Beta White-knights get caught up on the morals of going through phones and personal belongings. If anyone here has watched 9 1/2 weeks and then been in a real relationship they will understand that woman are all pre-programmed to be jealous beings that can't help but be "bad little piggies" and go through your shit. My gf has been staying at my house while I am away at boarding school this weekend and I pulled the same thing from the movie to test out how accurate that scene was and I wasn't surprised at all to hear that she had gone through every one of my drawers and every nook & cranny of my room. Usually when the woman goes through your shit it's because she has something to hide as well... I guess when I get home I'm going to have some snooping to do... And your down-votes can't stop me.
heist_of_saint_graft 10y ago
What exactly does he do in the movie?
BTHspooner 10y ago
There is a scene where he is away from home and leaves his girl at the house for the day. She ends up snooping through his things. He then calls her and while speaking to her on the phone and asks if she has been going through his things. I can't remember the quote exactly but here is a script. I would try hitting ctrl+f and then typing in "snoop".
Lets_get_Medical 10y ago
I'm a spiteful person when it comes to things like that ,it's my nature. An honest man would either Confront her or leave it alone and leave her.A manipulative man would get more information and attack with facts she can't prove.
The thing is, it all comes to the same outcome, that she still fucked with you and this is something you need to understand. Either learn to let it go or become real childish (like me) and get even.
Trust me you don't want to go fucking cousins and sisters because, you're still a human and you will gain sympathy and in the heat of the moment get back with her or try to justify your actions which defeats the purpose of those same actions.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
A manipulative man would user her purely for his self-interest.
I'd dread game her into cooking me stuff, while I fuck others on the side.
Lets_get_Medical 10y ago
Manipulative people are opportunistic, it's not as simple as stringing people along. Manipulative people don't technically do it on purpose they do it instinctively, and self interests (to say the least)is not one of them. A selfish man would use her for his self interest.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
The more practice I get with it, the more instinctive it becomes.
Lets_get_Medical 10y ago
but not in the manner i'm speaking of. I'm reffering to manipulative people who do it toto feel good. Manipulative people , are usually people feeding off of emotional stress.
NeoPlatonist 10y ago
Ghost her.
truthfortrolls 10y ago
Doesn't sound like it.
Xein 10y ago
There's no definitive proof she cheated. If I take your story as truth, it seems like she is craving some more validation from guys and is doing exactly that. If that guy is triple texting her and has been after her for months, I have a hard time believing she is suddenly going to want his cock. That's probably the guy she bitches to about her "asshole bf". The flirty pic pretty much ensures that the orbiter stays in orbit. Even betas need tossed a bone here and there, ya know?
If you don't care too much just disappear on her. Nothing would need to be said, it's implied that you don't feel like dealing with her shit, but she'll never get to actually hamster about it to you.
If you think the sex is too good or she's that much fun to be with, I would downgrade the relationship. Meet up less, talk less, be more distant, focus on other girls more.
Whatever you do, don't do #3. It leads to too much hamstering. She probably has 10 explanations ready to go for you.
trpup 10y ago
That guy is different. I have no idea who the man on the phone with the sexy pic is as she has him under a nickname. I know they work together.
I might do three, but I'm going to ghost on her till at least valentines day is done. fuck that shit i'm not taking her out.
RedPillExclusive 10y ago
Find a new girl in the meantime.
[deleted] 10y ago
You've already commented some good intentions. I think you're on the right track. Keep working that trickle truth without seeming too concerned.
Could probably fuck her on the side, if you'd want that.
[deleted] 10y ago
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YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
IMO, you can't. It happens even to the best of us. It's not worth my time. I don't see any benefit of doing a relationship. It's just added stress.
If you can't get a girl, a relationship is good. But when you can go out and bang a girl that you like/pick the same night with consistency, it just becomes added work to do anything else.
Why not strive for fuck buddies rather than relationships?
shkizzler 10y ago
I recently started browsing this sub and i seem to be misunderstandings something. So many of the comments in this thread have been blaming the girl but to me it seems like the fault lies with both parties. If this girl needs to have other guys for either emotional or physical attention doesnt that mean she thinks she cant receive such things from OP? OP stated many times that he had "out alphad" her friends and that he did everything right but obviously this is not the case if she still cheated on him.
phantom_ranger 10y ago
You must have never dealt with women before...
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
That's the thing. It's not possible to satisfy every single criteria, no matter what you did.
Try this analogy. Imagine the alphabet, 26 letters. Each letter is something that can be done to the girl. As a partner, you can only do E-M. The rest you can't do.
If you dread game her (Letter: M), then it nullifies security (Letter: E) and other letters that I won't get into.
If you're in an LTR satisfying things like spending time with her (Letter: F) and doing things of a non-sexual nature (Letter: G), you cannot have a relationship that is extremely highly sexualized by default (nullifies Letter: Z) (similar dynamic to an affair, pure sex/waiting for sex).
Then there's also the reality that you can't constantly satisfy all of E-N that you are capable of. Do you know how much work that is?
In other words, there will always be shit that you can't satisfy by default.
There will also be things that you are capable of satisfying but cannot realistically satisfy at the 100% level for the duration of your relationship.
It's a crude analogy.
Let me know what you think of this.
shkizzler 10y ago
thank you for replying. Ive never considered it that way. As a male I only think of things that I must do. Also, Ive never been in a situation where I've had to concern myself with who or what my girl is doing, so i cant really contribute any anecdotal evidence. However i still believe that a truly strong individual, i mean someone who isnt just following a prescribed "alpha" or "Beta" code, would never allow such a thing to happen to themselves. i know that may seem harsh but in my opinion simply acting alpha doesnt mean much in the long run.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
There's a reason that upwards of 9/10 people that I highly respect not doing LTRs in their early 30s.
It's not a coincidence that every one of these smart people don't do it. Red pill is not the only community that I am a part of. The other people that I respect in other communities (every one of these people is high on the SMV), mirror these same traits. None want to give up the benefits for the costs. Some shack up because they got someone pregnant.
Continuing the analogy of the previous post:
The letters gain and lose importance for the girl based on her and her environment. Sometimes it may be necessary to up the dread, then reduce the dread. Then again, if she wants A,B,C, and T-V, you can't provide that.
The only thing holding you to her is that what you provide is better than what those other letters provide. Sometimes it's simply not possible because it she will either outright prefer the other letters or temporarily prefer the other letters.
dr_bloodmoney 10y ago
There's a common theme in TRP: "Please tell me that my situation is different!!!". If it bothers you, next. If not, put her # on the play list.
If it bothers you, why is that? Sounds like you need to look at what you are doing for yourself.
"i got done fucking her like shes never been fucked before" - I can't tell.
SomersetRaglan 10y ago
So when girls cheat on alphas with guys like this, I'm scared it fuels the white knights who believe that in the end, a girl will get tired of an "asshole" and go back to the nice guy.
What I'm curious about is not so much what OP did wrong, but what did the other guys do RIGHT? What did they do on their end to get her to cheat on him?
robesta 10y ago
He probably wasn't fucking her. She probably just loved the attention.
harold_bf 10y ago
I'm actually interested in a response to these questions.
TheCasualHistorian 10y ago
From personal experience I was pretty aloof and didn't give the girl a lot of compliments or nurturing. Some other guy 14 years older than her came along and dropped cash and rained compliments and "love" down on her which I, as a student in another town, could not do.
She always complained she wanted someone who would put her at the top of their world. That's exactly what she got - too bad she got sick of it and cheated on him 2 months into their marriage. OP's girl is probably thinking the same thing - my boyfriend isn't nice/neglects me and I want a guy who will treat me like a princess and shit.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
LOL they got married. Music to my ears. People just drop like flies don't they. It's some surreal shit to just watch it all happen and unfold in front of your eyes.
I think that so far, 4 marriages have ended where I specifically noted to my buddies that they would end within a year.
SomersetRaglan 10y ago
how did you know? just curious.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
Nothing showed me that they would last.
Just the opposite, lots of stuff that didn't add up.
Difference in SMV
I can tell the girl is bossy and likes to lead
No indication that the girl has any sort of self-restraint or impulse control
Guy is beta smart, but doesn't know much about women / game. Doesn't understand how it works.
Lots of shit like this.
SomersetRaglan 10y ago
thanks. have you seen many successful marriages?
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
You'd be better asking folks that have seen more marriages than I have.
Here's what I see. Married people drop off the grid. They finish work and go straight home.
Antisocial, dare I say afraid to do new things and talk to new people because they are insecure about their marriages. They will hamster a reason not to go to a bar with friends from work.
Lots of problems with sex / dead bedrooms.
I know some good marriages between low smv couples.
The way I see it is that if you satisfy a woman's solipsism / hypergamy, you will have a great marriage. Check out some of the threads on /r/redpillwomen. I'm not a fan of that. I had that relationship dynamic, while it was good, it's not something I prefer. My life is easier without it.
SomersetRaglan 10y ago
thanks for this. i also find that while the rules apply to everyone, when both people in a relationship are lower in demand things can work out well.
sometimes i wonder if the guys over at /r/cuckold are onto something (in terms of a strategy for betas to keep women in a relationship by allowing her to sample as much cock as she likes while still getting validation and comittment from them), but even there every now and then a guy posts about his woman leaving him for one of their bulls.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
As far as I know it's insatiable. You can only keep it in line.
I would highly recommend not to do any cuckolding shit. You will go through some fucked up stress that is not worth it.
Worst case scenario, get a woman like the ones at /r/redpillwomen, take a look at /u/demonspawn 's post history and try to get a girl like the one he calls digits.
SomersetRaglan 10y ago
I like keeping things casual. Women are much nicer to me since Ive stopped offering committment.
I subscribe to that sub because its a fantasy of mine to be a bull, and its hot reading about guys fucking a chick while her 'bf' watches. Its the ultimate power trip-taking another mans woman, in front of him, and then leaving both of them without a care in the world.
Im sadistic.
birdwontquit 10y ago
What's a flirty pic, like a nude?
[deleted] 10y ago
It doesn't matter
YouDislikeMyOpinion 10y ago
I initially assumed that it was a nude / lingerie pic. But now I'm not so sure.
birdwontquit 10y ago
I think if it was he would have said so.
Kelly_Gruber 10y ago
Should of fucked her in the ass then broke up with her on the spot after.
trpup 10y ago
HAHAHA
hilariously, I tried this, but I couldn't find the fucking lube
Jaereth 10y ago
Really? So your fridge doesn't contain ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, butter or jelly?
[deleted] 10y ago
Forgot tabasco
elite5472 10y ago
sounds like a hotdog
[deleted] 10y ago
I personally would call her the fuck out. Yeah i went through your phone, she can be mad about that, but guess what, shes cheating. low level but cheating nonetheless. If she apologises profusely and shows signs of possibly not being a whore in the future ride things out but always be more aware of what transpired. And i would say the only way shes going out on valentines day is if she takes YOU out. if shes not cool with that stance ghost her.
britainistan 10y ago
Alpha males don't get cheated on. You're more of an insecure, possessive beta male moron.
oharalions 10y ago
Fuck the truth and fuck her. You fuckers are pussy . Ditch her. Be on.
[deleted] 10y ago
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iluminatiNYC 10y ago
Word. Getting mired in the details is irrelevant in this point. Does it really make a difference if she was messing with 2 guys as opposed to, say, 5?
nivek7913 10y ago
Ha this is almost exactly what happened with my ex and I, except it was only one guy (but she definitely cheated). I didn't show enough attention, so that's why I pick and choose from TRP philosophy.
But as soon as I found out, it was over. And if she hasn't cheated, she would have. She was looking for an escape plan, because that's what women do.
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p_esco 10y ago
I say leave her and start spinning those plates.
Idontlikekarmawhores 10y ago
I d go with 3 but she will never GF material after this BS. Keep her as FB.
RRBeachFG2 10y ago
I liked the way you slow played the situation and let her make the first attempt at communication. I definitely could have done that better myself in my last LTR; I would constantly spout out the only plausible answer before her fully explaining the situation, and now that I think back on it this always provided her a way out...
mikelovesvegas 10y ago
Sort of this. Explain to her that you, as a man worth dating, don't put up with bullshit like this. Tell her that she might be better off respecting the next man she dates instead of acting like a whore.
Doctor_Mayhem 10y ago
I'd say 2 and 4. Make her a plate, snoop more.
Filter your inbox, because you're gonna get a few texts from keyboard alphas saying you're a rejected beta. Lulz.
[deleted] 10y ago
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SmokeU 10y ago
More likely 5 different guys of higher quality than your sister.
[deleted] 10y ago
Part of leading your life for yourself isn't about checking your girls' phone.
Get rid of her.
dousche 10y ago
Please write a follow-up. What did you do?
jkonine 10y ago
She's gonna be pissed at you for going through her phone regardless. It depends on how much you like the girl.
You gotta understand that chicks fucking love attention. Just the attention alone can get women off. And in today's world with social media, it's easier than ever for them to get addicted.
So I really don't care what you say about fucking her better than anyone has ever fucked her blah blah blah. Clearly it's the attention that she wants. Maybe you're not giving her that kind of fix that she wants/needs. There's probably a very good chance that you simply can't. I've found that a lot of women are like that these days.
Now, she isn't actively cheating, so you don't have to get mad at her. Just kind of acknowledge that maybe you can't give her all the attention that she needs. Also, you should give her shit for all the orbiters around her. God, I was so sick of all of them that were orbiting my girlfriend that I made it my personal mission to get them laid. I legitimately felt bad for them. But women don't know how much it sucks to be one of the guys they friend zone but still reach out to on a regular basis for attention.
You won't reach her if you make it all about you or even her. Just kind of get her to acknowledge that maybe she has an attention seeking problem.
slcjosh 10y ago
Just dump her ass. Tell her you know she is not ltr material because her behavior is unacceptable, tell her to get her shit, and to leave.
[deleted] 10y ago
I'd downgrade her to a plate and start banging some other chicks.
The rule of thumb is - if a girl is attention whoring from other dudes then she is ready to be gamed for sex. So, it's only a matter of time.
She's cock carousel-ing. If that's what she wants to do with her life - so be it. Treat her like the whore she is. Make sure you wrap it and ditch your oneitis.
sd4c 10y ago
1) Flirting with someone over text is not cheating.
2) Why were you looking through her phone? You should not care at all, who fucks her, or what she does when you are not around, as long as she sees you when you want to screw, and screws you as long as you want to and how you want to. What more do you want? A relationship? There is nothing in a relationship FOR MEN. You refer to her repeatedly as "my girl". No one is yours. They will all cheat. Assume that every woman you ever date, ever, is gangbanging random guys on the reg. Because some are. Disdain what you cannot have... in this case, a woman's "loyalty". It doesn't exist.
3) STDs? Don't be a pussycat. Wear a condom.
4) Go out and fuck ten other girls. Then report back with how upset you are about this one.
[deleted] 10y ago
Don't feel bad. Sometimes you can do everything perfectly and this happens to you.
Unless you're worth millions or a movie star women will rarely compromise their life style too badly to be with you.
FuriousMouse 10y ago
Alpha men don't do this. You should say what you are going to do, why you are going to do it, and then do it. It reinforces the image of you as a strong individual.
Worth a try. The best way is if she thinks she got the idea.
Don't expect her to admit anything if you just "talk". If you are going to next her, sit down for a talk, tell her what you are going to do and why.
When she understands you are serious she may start leaking some bits and pieces of truth in order to look less slutty.
This could be a precursor to (3), just be prepared that she will use this against you.
No matter what you do, it looks like your LTR is over.
deepthrill 10y ago
I THOUGHT WE NIPPED THAT "NO TRUE SCOTSMAN FALLACY" SHIT IN THE BUD!
Cut that out and don't lecture about what a "real" alpha would do.
Fucking ghost her if you want, OP.
FuriousMouse 10y ago
You are misunderstanding the word "fallacy". "Fallacy" is a false logical statement when used for reasoning.
Saying "A male lion will defend it's pride, when challenged", is not a logical fallacy, it is simply a statement on how lions normally behave.
And yes, there are "Alpha men" traits, and "B" I did not use the word "real".
3rt41 10y ago
Talking about being alpha, your logic is flawed.
What you are saying is exactly this:
"You should say your cheating girlfriend that you are leaving her for good, because she is a cheating girlfriend and then leave her, because it reinforces the image of you as a strong individual"
The big question here is: Why?
Why should you reinforce your image in her eyes? You don't need that.
You don't need her validation and every second of your time you keep wasting on this person is time taken from your life.
A real alpha would just turn around and walk away.
Every waste of more energy is a pure mistake in this scenario bro.
FuriousMouse 10y ago
You are doing this both for yourself and also for your image. No, you don't need her validation but you can be sure she will be running all over town to tell her version of the breakup story.
If you sneak away from the relationship like a thief in the middle of the night, without leaving a message (talking to her) , then that's how you will be know, to much of a wimp to confront your own GF.
3rt41 10y ago
And why would someone care?
Do you care what people think about you? Because most guys just don't give an actual fuck.
I actually wouldn't give a drop of fuck about her and what people would think about me.
And you also talk about confrontation.
To me, a cheating girlfriend is someone not deserving the blessing of me burping in her face.
How can you confront someone that is nothing to you?
Dude i think you are on the right way, but keep going.
FuriousMouse 10y ago
Giving a fuck about what other people think about you is very much a part of the redpill.
What people think of you has consequences and those consequences are the reason why most guys come here.
3rt41 10y ago
I like the fact you have your very own idea of what trp is man. Me? I don't give a fuck. Cheers
Jessie_James 10y ago
Your next move is to simply decide what your standards are. Do you want to date a woman who is texting 5 other guys? Is that her best behavior, the best she can be, and if so is that the level of respect you demand?
If you like being treated like one of many, you do nothing.
However, if you like to be treated better, then you move on. There's no reason to snoop, tell her why, or anything else.
It's all about deciding what YOU want, that's all.
Do you want a woman who you can trust and doesn't make you have to resort to lying, sneaking around, and otherwise lowering yourself to her level?
The gut feeling you have, the instinctual feeling you talk about? TRUST IT. Trust yourself.
Side note: She is a smart woman, smarter than you (in my humble opinion). She has FIVE guys (or thereabouts) all competing for her attention, all giving her 100% of their time, energy, and effort, to please her. In return, she only has to give 20% to each guy. Her risk to reward ratio is far better than yours, and even if you bail she has only a 20% loss of reward to risk. I've dated those women, and the minute I find out that's there game I move on.
[deleted] 10y ago
I've always felt my gut but was educated to not listen to it...BIG LIE ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT! It never lies even in the face of evidence to the contrary
1)ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT GENTLEMEN ALWAYS ALWAYS!!!
2)Use her like the tramp she is now that you know, don't let her in on your knowledge just fuck the shit outta her as required.
Edit: Wrap it up tight.
3rt41 10y ago
radio silence
TheCasualHistorian 10y ago
This describes in perfect detail how I used to act with my girlfriend. In hindsight I should have taken every opportunity to cheat (some chances were glaringly obvious) not out of spite or disloyalty but simply because it would have built an abundance mentality into my brain which could only have strengthened me in the relationship. Instead I lost confidence which led her to lose respect for me and cheat. For anyone on TRP in a relationship, never lose that abundance mentality. You are capable of much more than the girl you're with; remember that.
blowlinesfuckdimes 10y ago
Should send a flirty sexy pic to one of her girl friends and leave it open in plain view
subzero800 10y ago
Sounds like you're jelly of the betas, bro.
[deleted] 10y ago
Act like nothing happened screen cap her phone with your phone post that shit on your facebook and her facebook and contact all of those dudes and tell them she's chatting up other dudes while she has a boyfriend and that she is a whore, maybe embellish a bit and tell them you found out cause you got da herp or something, shit tell her the same if you got proof of her fucking with man-whores put the fear in her, call her a worthless whore and a failure and never talk to her again. If she was legal post her nudes her FB profile and the proof on 4chan's /b/ and /soc/ and she may be harassed until she locks up her profile.
If you don't want to or cant do these things make sure you've settled these things and you know the full picture then call her a worthless whore and never speak to her again, really let it sink in how worthless she is, she'll probably torture herself for years thinking about you. That sort of shame is going to be crucial in fighting the sort of hedonistic ideology that led her to cheat.
[deleted] 10y ago
So, pay no regard to the legal ramifications of your actions? Sounds like a bitch to me.
[deleted] 10y ago
What ramifications? You oust her as a whore and she's likely too broke to take his ass to civil court over libel.
As for the 4chan shit as long as she isn't underage and he protects his Identity with a thinly veiled barrier the law can't pin him.
Good2Go5280 10y ago
I'd confront her. You wouldn't have snooped if you weren't suspicious. You wouldn't have been suspicious if she weren't messing around. Cut her loose and make her feel really shitty about it. Let her have her betas. Hell, let her have EVERY beta in the world.
trembley3000 10y ago
Depends whether or not you're done with the relationship.
If you are, I would go with option #2. Only piece of advice is be very straightforward about what you're relationship is to avoid her getting crazy/jealous as much as possible.
If you aren't done with the relationship I would try #3 or #4. You never know, she might just have to know that her slutty texting with these guys isn't an acceptable behaviour for a relationship with you. If you find that she keeps on doing it, then go option 2.
Also, if you do confront her about it and she starts saying shit like "you dont trust me, why would you snoop my phone". Just stay on topic about her slutty texts and how it isn't appropriate for a relationship with you.
tedcase 10y ago
Option 3.
alkyjason 10y ago
I'm not trying to sound like a prick, but if the above statement were true, she would have no reason to seek out the 'D' from some other dude. I'm guessing this other dude is packin' a stuffed sausage bangin around between his knees.
trpup 10y ago
The name had been there from the first week I met her. He's an old flame.
Walt the beta is a different guy.
re the other shit; she's said it herself.
[deleted] 10y ago
Hypergamy doesn't care.
roadywan 10y ago
Move on and give Walt a shot at it...barring the possible of onitis, I find that most orbiters don't really limit themselves to one possible option.
Let them have at it, once Walt declares himself as "taken" he'll abandon his other possible targets thereby releasing a few more validation craving hamsters out into the wild. As a result he's doing you a favor by enriching the field of targets.
It sounds like a fair trade off to me anyway.
iluminatiNYC 10y ago
I would go for option 2. You're otherwise getting along, and she's giving up the ass on the reg. There's no need to get extra unless you think homegirl is doing anything else. Just strap up, break her off and have your fun. :)
[deleted] 10y ago
4 and replace confront with option 3. Also start buying extra safe.
kick6 10y ago
I'm having a hard time understanding why people draw the line between attentionwhoring with orbiters and physical "cheating." They're both unacceptable.
[deleted] 10y ago
I'd just quietly dump her. Some people prefer downgrading, that really isn't my thing.
It'd be way too easy for this to blow up in your face if you tried to actually give her an honest answer.
paradigmx 10y ago
Wow, I thought this was supposed to be a pretty much alpha male sub. Seriously, I'm sorry for your situation op, but snooping though someone's phone to get answers is a chicken shit thing to do, talk about passive aggressive behavior.
DanG3 10y ago
Full disclosure and openness is very realistic and acceptable in LONG TERM - "exclusive" - Red Pill relationships, because ... by definition (of Red Pill) both partners are aware of the real tendencies of each other, among other things. Full disclosure is both insurance and assurance of exclusivity. It is Red Pill to "trust but verify." It is beta-slub to naively 'love and trust.' The latter pretty much defaults to the (beta) feminine construct of "marriage vows." And, we all know how well they work out . . .
paradigmx 10y ago
I disagree, even in long term relationships, a person has a right to privacy, and I say this as the D in a 24/7 D/s relationship (Dominant/Submissive, complete power exchange relationship.)
I have the pre-negotioated right to read any correspondence my Submissive has with anyone at my discretion. But I leave it be, and if I suspect anything might be up, I confront her directly. Maybe my situation is more unique however, D/s relationships do require much more communication than your standard egalitarian relationship.