So, long time lurker here...and I figured I'd share something.
I have an ex best friend of like...10 years right. This guy chose my ex during a nasty BPD fueled break up so he could bang her (fucking shocker.) Stole a bunch of my shit, slanders me on facebook whenever he gets...whatever.
My ex was also a "chef" but her cooking blew worse than she did.
However, his ex and I have been chit chatting. He tried to bring her on my ex's team, failed, and lost all chance of keeping his woman.
Fast forward 2 months...her and I start talking. I actually listen to what she has to say, but not get overly invested. I tell her about the positive moves I'm making, how I'm putting my life together. I just told the truth, put it out there, hid nothing, it flowed so easy.
I'm moved into a sweet bachelor pad, wiener dog is healthy, tasteful shit on the walls. I invite her down to town for a night...and she shows up dressed like this gorgeous 50's pinup house wife. We're talking pearls, stockings with seams, garters, all of it.
I then made a classic new york strip steak with home made baby reds, nailed the sauce perfectly. The steak was cooked perfectly, I took great care to engage her in conversation whilst focusing on the steaks. Perfect sear on both sides, and very juicy and easy to cut.
She absolutely loved the food, said it was one of the best steaks she ever had.
Then I fucked her for 4 hours afterwards, and as she crawled away from the bed shaking, she told me:
My god he was never even close to that good.
----
That's how it's done lads, that's how you beat these cunts. I killed two birds with one stone, I out cooked an evil ex...and absolutely smashed the ass of my ex best friend's ex....my god that woman is gorgeous.
"Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!"
oldboldpoet 4y ago
Real story: you made and ate Ramen noodles and then pulled your own noodle while imagining this story
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esha795 4y ago
OMG! this must be the most delusional wishful thinking ever written on reddit.
You sir, need a visit to a doctor and learn ENGLISH.
I'm moved at the appalling state of your English where you used "I'm moved" to say "I have moved".
HurricaneHugues 4y ago
He fucks your ex, you fuck his ex. That's true love.
hazelstein 4y ago
Good To hear that bro. Fuck Yes.
Don't catch no feelings.
drop the recipe for the sauce though xD
LLL3peat 4y ago
Gordon Ramsey has a 5 minute video on a simple pan seared perfect steak on the YouTube explaining this:
https://youtu.be/AmC9SmCBUj4
Seditionist205 4y ago
Minced Garlic mixed with fresh amish butter. You melt it in the pan whilst the steaks are searing and then drizzle it over the steaks as you flip both sides.
Simples.
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3gm22 4y ago
That sauce sounds delicious right?!
Vikingcel 4y ago
And, like, what?
Below average humble-brag.
Balderdash79 4y ago
It wasn't a humble-brag.
It was a straight-up bragging ass brag from a braggart.
And it was fucking awesome.
TRP needs more posts like this.
Let us know your successes, bro. We want to hear about it.
"Haters gonna hate. Hoes gonna hoe. Players gonna play. GO NIGGA GO!"
Vikingcel 4y ago
If you want more content like this, I recommend reading 50 Shades. That's about as useful as this, but much more elaborate.
Seditionist205 4y ago
Well she's coming back over tonight with home made brownies and more "treats."
So I dunno man, maybe it's below average...but I'm banging a milf who check marks my fetishes.
All in all a good friday night.
Vikingcel 4y ago
You can write that in your diary. There's no take away for the community.
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throwabcdaway4 4y ago
Username checks out.
Dont make the mistake thinking you are any part of this community.
Vikingcel 4y ago
I'm very clearly a much better part of the community than you.
TheRedPike 4y ago
/u/torinogreen
Enough, you two, or I'll make you get a room.
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SuperCrazy07 4y ago
Glad you had fun, but you’ll have even more fun when 80% of the joy you feel isn’t coming from a place of anger/revenge.
Seditionist205 4y ago
I'd say more like a 60-40 split
ex_addict_bro 4y ago
Where did you get that meat from, was it also from a dumpster?
IncitingDramah 4y ago
Although I'd usually agree with you 90% of the time....
Theres a special place in my heart for the vengeance bang. Sometimes you got to fuck an ex's best friend, or best friend's ex. Especially if you want to flip the social dynamic of a social group.
Promise you the social group will hear of OP, see the blatant BS beta works of his friend and he got the win all around.
He got a relatively easy plate, social proof, and the delicious taste of revenge all without harming his social standing or jeprodizing reputation with BP behavior.
10/10 machiavellian, would do again.
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Seditionist205 4y ago
Same dumpster I got my ex, Ohio.
The_Belony 4y ago
What/who tasted better tho?
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Phoenixtorment 4y ago
Revenge porn with a milf.
Ok.
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TyroneTheDriver 4y ago
Wait so your ex left you and got fucked by your "best friend" and you put on a show to get to nail her again?...
Seditionist205 4y ago
No, I left my ex and he tried to swoop in and bang her, and he failed. Now he's crawled into a bottle shit talking.
As for his ex, she ditched his ass and two months later we hooked up. She wanted to try new things, and I provided it. It's a strict fwb.
TyroneTheDriver 4y ago
Oh, good for you man!
Hes not really your friend, btw.
i-am-the-prize 4y ago
That was funny. Good for you.
You fucked a hot woman, who came to play and dressed the part, mighty well, and that's the key part.
53withtrollhair 4y ago
Savage Sword was a GREAT comic
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