Each time I think I've seen/read it all, a post like this pops up.
Summary: While dating who a 20-year-old woman believes to be the perfect man, she finds out he was repeatedly raped as a child. Her tingles slowly fade away as she believes he is no longer the "macho" man she once 'loved.' She distances herself from her boyfriend and soon begins contemplating breaking up with him. In the comments, she gets raked over the coals.
The Rundown: I will run through this amazing example of women in love piece by piece.
Im a 20yo woman currently dating my 24 yo boyfriend of 5 months.
Hes tall, muscular, blonde with blue eyes. Hes also really dominant and works at a start up doing marketing. In general hes very smart, funny, yadda yadda you get it. I like him.
Basically, he is everything a man should be; handsome, strong, dominant, works a great job presumably making lots of money, and has a great personality. She believes she truly knows him and likes every part of him. However, even this isn't enough and, as we will soon learn, once emotions and the hard truth come into play, the woman wants to ditch.
However even though our sex life is good hes been having trouble performing starting a week and a half ago. I thought it was me at first so i asked him and he started to break down a bit before crying. Hes just started seeing a therapist or "counselor" about his childhood.
Then he tells me that he was raped as an 11 year old by his stepbrother, multiple times when he was young. This floored me as up until this point he seemed so macho and sort of like a "tough guy" and now hes confessing to being raped by another man while completely being in tears and holding me.
I would like to quickly point out that it only took 1.5 weeks (not months, not years, weeks) of poor sexual performance for her to start questioning her boyfriend.
This is the crux of the story. Her macho image of him, a superficial image, has been shattered, replaced by who she believes to be a weak man for crying and seeing a therapist for an extremely distressing event.
Of course, the guy is macho. Even after going through this horribly traumatic experience, he still built a life for himself. Presumably went to college, earned himself a great job, and, in general, keeps moving through life refusing to let the weight of this event hold him down. That is true masculinity; he pushed back against the weight of the world. But this woman doesn't see that, only seeing that her masculine man is revealing his feelings, relying on her for emotional support, being revealed as damaged goods in her eyes.
He broke down in front of her crying and holding her as he poured out his feelings. In that moment, he was reliant on her and she thinks, "A man crying? My perfect man relying on a woman to solve his emotional problems? I can't have that."
A big rule on The Red Pill is to never reveal your hardships or show their effect on you to the person you're dating; it shows weakness. Recognize your emotions, use them, but never shout out in anger or cry in front of your SO. Of course, I'm giving this man a pass because rape is, obviously, an extremely traumatic event that changes your whole life. This guy did everything right; he never revealed himself and instead went to a counselor. The dam of emotions simply broke at the wrong moment, and what was revealed to his SO was a flawed man.
I held him back and let him vent but i ended up leaving (we were at his apartment).
I completely understand that its horrible being a rape victim but honestly i dont know if i could see him the same way again. I had this image of him thats completely shattered and honestly everytime i see him text me I just feel weird now.
At least she recognizes that the reason she feels weird is because her macho image of him has been destroyed. Instead of being with him and helping him through this small breakdown, she contemplates leaving at the first sign of trouble, at the first showing of real emotion.
My best friend thinks i should try to keep dating him for a bit but im really not attracted to him like i was before. We're not broken up yet but im considering it kinda. AITA?
"My man is perfect in every way, but went through a traumatic life event in his childhood that was probably in no way his fault showing a crack in his armor? Sorry, no longer attracted." Is she an asshole? The answer is obvious.
Takeaways: There are many warning signs for men to read that can be helpful in their lives.
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A woman's love is not the same as a man's love. Her love is almost entirely opportunistic, generated by the amount of tingles the man can provide her. A man's love will persevere through thick and thin in a relationship. A woman's love will waver at the slightest hint of weakness from the man.
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Never stop improving, never stop moving forward. Always strive to be better than the guy next to you because your SO is always looking for that better man to swing to.
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If your SO wants to leave, let her go. If a woman's masculine image of you is shattered and her love is gone, it is impossible to get it back 99% of the time . Remove her cleanly and move on with improving yourself and take the harsh lessons to heart. She isn't worth your time, and I hope this girl breaks up with her boyfriend because he deserves much better.
- Never reveal your true emotions to your girlfriend/wife. Find male friends or a therapist/counselor to vent to, but never your SO. On paper, this guy was perfect; good looks, good job, good personality. Once he revealed a chink in his armor, she was gone even if the chink was a traumatic event that was out of his control.
Rikvidr 5y ago
Doing this to us. That's what the OP had to say.
Rikvidr 5y ago
It only took like a dozen comments of people criticizing the girl for the mods to lock the thread.
Zech4riah 5y ago
Great post but this is a faulty message which keeps coming up:
Yes you can reveal your true emotions. What do I mean by this? Well, you can and you almost should reveal your true emotions once in awhile if you desire the girl to be around longer and build a connection with her. But there is a little but. If you decide open up a bit about tough shit you have gone through (and you should sometimes), make sure you bring them up in a context that you can handle or have handled that shit. And don't do the mistake which the dude in the story did - count on her emotional support and hope that she will fix you.
Casanova-Quinn 5y ago
That's the problem. Not the admission of being raped. Women want a stoic man, a rock to lean on. They do not like being the rock.
Ivabighairy1 5y ago
Never, EVER, show your real vulnerabilities to a woman. Always give them fake, fluffy stuff ... I go nuts over pics of kittens, please don’t tell anyone. Than the real shit we deal with.
WarriorMonkMode 5y ago
He fucked up by revealing that his success was not, in fact, effortless.
Women don't love you, they love the idea of you.
It's not fair, but it is the way it is. If you want understanding and unconditional love, get a dog.
MoodyBrizo 5y ago
Dogs can't understand you. And they only love you because you feed them.
magx01 5y ago
Not even that is true but ain't no one ready for that particular black pill yet.
AKnightAlone 5y ago
Hey, I'm shallow in my own ways, but I don't think that changes certain things about the value I could express to the right person. Just because a pet is trained around certain factors doesn't make the experience you have with them less valuable.
When it gets down to it, we're all just playing roles. Some tactics fit the part better than others. Personally, I just want to figure that out for myself, because I'd like to feel happy with myself and with a loving partner in the future, and apparently the component I ignore in that equation is what I need to do in order to express strength and value.
PerplexingPegasus_ 5y ago
To quote a piece from rollo’s empathy article.
A moment of weakness is all it takes.
ChrimsonChin988 5y ago
Shouldn't surprise anyone who has read the sidebar tbh.
It's not that she's distancing herself because he was raped or has a trauma. Women aren't that evil. It's that he created this macho image which he has now shattered by CRYING and displaying weakness. This shattered the image, she feels conned. Game over.
To add to this, I firmly believe that even if the woman in question here had also been raped and already opened up about it beforehand, even if she went through the same experience, she would still lose attraction when he opens up. It does not matter where it's coming from; weakness is weakness and it's unattractive to a female.
bondbandito 5y ago
She's just overwhelmed that he couldn't keep it together, not that he was raped.
Anyway, I think probably she's not a good catch, a product of present buy not fix culture.
halfback910 5y ago
This guy will be fine. He'll realize to lie about his past to the next girl and he'll be fine. He's sexy and successful.
ChrimsonChin988 5y ago
I don't even think he should lie about it, waste of effort. He should either never address it or address it early on and own that shit.
Where he fucked up is by giving her leverage over him. He showed weakness, she knows this can be used against him by her or anyone for that matter. That is inherently unattractive to females. Really to anyone in that regard but especially to females.
My rule is that even if you give another person leverage over you (by accident), make it seem as if you gave them no leverage at all, show indifference. For example; O, you can blackmail me with with that video recording? Ok, I don't care, show it to everyone I'll still be here and I'll be fine.
bowhunter6 5y ago
I agree. If he is tough enough to succeed despite all that’s happened to him, he’ll survive this minor kick in the balls, too. He’ll probably be better off now, having learned the hard way that your woman is not your best friend, and that you can’t show weakness despite everything movies and TV tell you.
halfback910 5y ago
I also, frankly, think the only person who should know about your therapist is your therapist.
the99percent1 5y ago
Except the fact millions have read about his story. Lol. He may be anonymous but if he were to ever stumble across her post, he will realize and regret real quickly his moment of blunder.
And fuck the girl seriously. She could've spoken privately about it with a friend but instead choose to share on an online forum. Like seriously.. she's the one with real issues.
halfback910 5y ago
I mean... not millions but point taken.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
Hopefully. However, this whole thing may have been precipitated by his psychologist being a shithead who gave him bad advice, and will tell him that he should 'be honest about his feelings' to all of his womenfolk.
halfback910 5y ago
He's likely going to a therapist for trauma so they probably wouldn't even talk about his relationships with others in that way. I think his therapist would probably consider his ability to have a functional relationship that he didn't intentionally sabotage a pretty major victory for him.
Quite frankly if he's got control of life enough to be fit, successful, and have functioning relationships his therapist really only needs to do some minor repair work and slap on a coat of paint. Compare this to figurative major foundation repair that they have to do for most people.
He might feel guilty about being raped. And helping him overcome that guilt is a challenge but not impossible. It clearly hasn't stopped him.
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Hyper_Sonik 5y ago
And what if your image has changed on the sense that you used to be seen as weak, but changed into a masculine "bad boy"?
magx01 5y ago
This. Guys need to understand literally everything is filtered through the lens of their ego. It's ALL about how it reflects on them/their status in the female hierarchy.
AKnightAlone 5y ago
Let's take a moment to consider this.
I tend to think of things in a complex and very nuanced fashion, essentially in the manner of Jordan Peterson. One thing I've recognized is the tendency for basically everything in the psychosexual dynamic to involve a Yin-Yang battle. What this makes me wonder, as far as the idea you mention and something I haven't yet considered, would be how this would relate to the opposite of what we expect. All of this stuff is almost always the opposite of what we expect. And I bring up Jordan Peterson, but I would also add that I'm very far Left in most of my views, yet I acknowledge that everything goes in both directions.
What I'm wondering is how that statement would relate to the nature of the psychosexual dynamic.
Why do we inflate the self-esteem and self-worth of women?
Is this because men deflate their value? Yes. Our tendency is to be fully objective, and this degrades women. Cue feminism.
Why do men get ignored, hated, and treated like monsters?
Probably because we're so used to seeing men as the glorified heroes(because we are, and we're basically twisting society toward being tired of that circlejerk.)
Directly to the point:
Why don't women love like men?
Because men are degradingly objective and honest. Well, this isn't actually why, but it's how men react. The real "why" would probably be a far more directly degrading answer... Like, women who are caught up in illusions are actually ultimately more objective, thus enhancing their likelihood of survival—probably even because their apparent naivety makes men far more willing to defend them—whereas men being more directly objective allows us to more easily indulge in the fantasies that allow for our survival when we prove our objective value.
How do women actually love?
By lying to themselves, denying their objective nature, and glorifying themselves anyway.
Ultimately, in conclusion:
Women deny their objective nature(aka: reality) and ultimately fall prey to indulging in it. The Yin is the black side, yet ironically pop culture and our general tendency only sees that pure center.
Men accept our objective nature, and ultimately this frees us to see things in a much more deeply valuable way, and this is why we run off to war and spend our lives slaving away for the sake of our loved ones. Men are the Yang side of the equation. We're so often treated like this dark and evil enemy, yet our essence, if we could just stand the fuck back and look at ourselves, is good.
Of course, both sides are basically a fractal that goes back and forth between dark/light or good/evil or whatever nuanced terms you'd like to apply, but the general idea stands. At the very least, we're on equal ground. If we weren't, we wouldn't have survived through aeons of existence up until this point.
SKRedPill 5y ago
Men really need to learn how to cope with past pain and trauma in their own ways - a men's space would be good for it. But if had to tell what worked for me, it was "The Power of Now" - over time I've begun to see how much my mind's accumulated over the years that I don't need and is simply holding me back and often ruining my day without me knowing it.
That and meditation. Nature gave men the nothing box in their brains for a very good reason. It's a man's best friend if you know how to handle it.
Anyway, I expect nothing more from relationships that are no more than fulfilling your own needs alone, which is what all relationships have become.
rus9384 5y ago
My thought: a human gets what he is after for. If you want a woman who likes to see you ONLY as a dominant and therefore never reveal your true emotions you are at risk of having a break in relationships. You were not completely honest, your image differs from reality and so on. And when the truth comes out the result is obvious. Won't you run away if the "girl" *accidentally* is a trap?
Personally, I don't believe that every woman would be that asshole. Assholes can be of any kind, sure. Women. Men. Every kind of a person can be an asshole. I don't think that every woman wants a man who is always dominant. Look at womenTRP. They give advices to let a man be dominant. If every woman wants to be subservient on her own, why would they give such advices?
So, I dispute the advice to always show yourself as dominant if that's not natural to you. But you should be clear on that soon in order not to waste your time.
AllahHatesFags 5y ago
Women are constantly complaining about the "toxic masculinity" that forces men to hide their emotions and not let themselves cry or be vulnerable. So you have this guy, who is otherwise pretty alpha according to her description of him, discard his "toxic masculinity" and break down in front of his gf. And what does she do? Does she comfort him and thank him for sharing his emotional trauma with her? Of course not! All this crying he was doing was drying up her pussy, so she goes on reddit and tries to see if ANYONE will give her a pass for dropping her emotionally damaged but otherwise perfect boyfriend. Women need to shut the fuck up about "toxic masculinity" because they are the ones enforcing it, not men.
OneRedSock 5y ago
It's a shit test.
Women want to know if their man can handle his shit -- his life, his stress, his work, the trials and tribulations, and ultimately her and her children. This is his sexual fitness as provider. But how to find out if the man can do these things?
Why not make up a phrase that could be parroted as the root cause for all issues that are even tangentially related to men? It would also be great if this phrase could be used to shame any male trait or expression of masculinity that goes counter to a woman's interests. And what if this phrase, when accepted by a man as the root cause of his problems, would openly divulge his own poor sexual fitness without the woman even having to lift a finger? This phrase would be the ultimate litmus test for sexual fitness, and the men who accept the principle are snitching on themselves.
This phrase is "toxic masculinity" and it is a shit test.
u-r-silly 5y ago
It's only "toxic masculinity" when it comes from men they are not attracted to.
Thunderbird93 5y ago
Bruh, solid analysis there m8. Ur name is fucked up but funny too
throwaway-aa2 5y ago
Well it goes deeper than that. One trait amongst many toxic groups, is their inability to pursue their own, based on their own set of rules. Women will talk about this toxic masculinity and shit... but if a woman treats a man negatively, counter to their own beliefs, other women don't seek out and lambast those women.
When you make rules and draw lines in the sand, they must be enforced. There has to be negative consequences. When a specific gender, lambasts another gender for stepping over a line in the sand, but not their own gender for stepping over that same line, the line isn't worth acknowledging. People (and specifically women) don't understand that the truth for a lot of their ideals lies in how they're enforced and acted upon.
bright-morningstar 5y ago
This stuff is real. I've had few accidents like these. Made me re-traumatized. Never ever open up to any women about your traumas or past accidents.
FKaroundNfindOUT 5y ago
So true. I tore an ACL. Had it surgically repaired and needed help for 2 weeks before I was fully mobile again.
A 3 year relationship only circled once before, like the turd it truly was, it clogged the toilet and overflowed shit everywhere in the form of a sharp and very visible decline in respect for me on her part.
She seemed genuinely shocked when I went total radio silence after a quick breakup chat.
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RonieGarret 5y ago
Do you regret that? I guess not so much. You have boundaries and thats better than making fun of your dead friend.
Set boundaries and dint regret broken plates. There are more important things in life.
AsfridrRik 5y ago
Sorry... Sorry... Malarkey. Bull. If you're looking for a FWB or another plate with no long-term potential, sure. Keep your baggage put away. If you're looking for LTR, then it's an important part of vetting to know that your potential partner is able and willing to handle your baggage. Know what you're looking for and cater to your audience.
The woman referenced by OP is a POS, as is the one you're referring to.
All women are scared of a man who shows his emotional baggage because it challenges the pedestal that they've place the man on. Vulnerability can be construed, very quickly, as weakness. The woman who can see their fear and recognize that he, too, is human, and has baggage, just like her, is the one worth keeping around, because she is aware of her shit and has the potential to work to overcome it.
Happy hunting.
bright-morningstar 5y ago
The thing is, most women, like %95 of them can't handle the true heavy baggage of men like the OP describes. They just like the hearing stuff from men slightly, like where man acting like he is too dark person and almost he is at the edge of sharing everything but backs off, he shows how heavy his trauma is but doesn't tell because he feels it is too painful, and girl enjoys this big drama show, then they have sex, and he is still mysterious but obvious person with heavy baggage. That's happened to me. But when you open up that baggage, thing like rape, pyschological torture and abuse, humiliation in heavy doses, if you open up things like that to even LTR girls who you think could take it, they would see you as weak too they're biologically adapted to quit weak, and those stories shows how your soul broken by another person, that means you're not though as you look you are or you can still show that weakness in future and maybe allow her children to get raped.
AsfridrRik 5y ago
And it is unfortunate that many women (I would say closer to 85%) can't handle the emotional baggage that men carry from trauma. It's true, many women simply don't know what to do with it. Just as not all men are natural alphas, neither are all women. And it's a helluva woman that has built that ability to call herself on her shit to try and make herself better.
Are they consciously thinking "Oh holy crap, he's going to let my children get raped?"
Usually no. They suppress that icky POS thought and hide behind "I can't handle this, he's changed, etc." These women aren't worthless, by any means, but they're not necessarily LTR material. That's why catering to your audience is important. Being rejected for your trauma suuuuucks. But it's rejection nonetheless and a part of the process. So while it's hard, if you're desiring more than a FWB or willing cum dumpster, then it is important to vet prior to revealing your trauma and being prepared for the rejection should it come.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Refusing to show that, as I said, is fine for casual partners. Want something deeper? Show your depth.
bright-morningstar 5y ago
I agree with the acceptance of situation and selecting the opening according to the audience. I think even for casual partners, time and the style of showing is important, if you feel grounded and you feel you can articulate the situation fixed to a woman audience then it will probably be better when you tell it, she would even get charmed and feel tender. There comes the skills of storytelling and reading your opponent and being aware of the situations, what to do when, when to do what. But all these stuff beside, I think it is not necessary to share those things with anyone until you're married or smth, it is highly emotionally risky zone, you feel like shit, and when you see the reactions she is making. You cannot see such a devastating thing in your life again, believe me. All those years you keep those things as secret and you wait till the day to share someone who could understand you and see your pain as it is. But the reality is really different than that. She just made fun of me like how the fuck I got stuck such a thing or telling her such a thing, she pretended to listen then she started to laugh and like in a most humiliating way, lol. She just shove the redpill to my mouth that day. These kind of things really makes you irritated by the humanity.
[deleted] 5y ago
When you say accidents, it sounds like no one was at fault...
bright-morningstar 5y ago
Whos fault is it?
GiraffeOnWheels 5y ago
Well, did you learn a lesson?
jonpe87 5y ago
You cried near of your woman it's over. My mon has this joke about my father: "He cried when his dog died, but not in the funeral of his own father." Actually he didn't cry when his dog died.
blacklightsleaze 5y ago
Honestly, this post looks fucking fake.
" Hes tall, muscular, blonde with blue eyes. Hes also really dominant and works at a start up doing marketing. In general hes very smart, funny, yadda yadda you get it. I like him. " and then he was raped and she want to cut him off, while making a reddit post. Fake af. If she want to cut him off she won't make a reddit post and being that honest.
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CainPrice 5y ago
The issue here isn't that this man, when he was an 11 year old child, was overpowered by a larger, stronger male. That's not what's turning her off.
It's that her man, this perfect specimen who's hot, successful, and fun, turned out to be damaged by past trauma.
It's not that he was physically overpowered at age 11. It's that he was traumatized, now he's seeing a therapist, and his emotions are affecting his life today.
He was the perfect guy, but now she knows he's not perfect and is actually damaged goods.
It's not that he was weak at age 11. It's that he -is- weak now. He's seeing a therapist and he cried in front of his girlfriend when thinking about a terrible trauma.
If a man thought it was unacceptable weakness to see a mental health professional and to cry about a past trauma, society would call that toxic masculinity. But it's a woman thinking it, so it's just a dating preference.
scissor_me_timbers00 5y ago
I think the crux tho was his current crying and holding her tho. I think if he had stoically informed her what had happened and he was seeking therapy for it, her response may have been different. And then just cried in therapy. But his emotional breakdown and neediness towards the girl is what broke the image, not the actual knowledge of the rape. At least that would be my read.
EndTimesRadio 5y ago
Bullseye.
TheImpossible1 5y ago
Notice some of the top comments are women trying to turn the narrative by saying how men left them for the same thing? (doubt that)
writewhereileftoff 5y ago
She's not thinking. Its all her biological urges. No logic, just pure biological efficiency & its ruthlessness. Dont show weakness.
warlordchad 5y ago
Well and additionally, if a girl is raped or assaulted, she’s strong and a survivor, but at the same time can use that experience to virtue signal, shame, and avoid taking responsibility.
When it happens to a man, not so much.
But the true problem was that his dick wasn’t working. Women can’t handle that—it calls her worth into question and disrupts the feelz.
the99percent1 5y ago
Yup.
The guy broke down crying to her was his downfall and admitting to seeing a therapist. Never and I mean never ever show weakness and vulnerability towards your woman. Especially during the attraction phase.
He could've played it off like a boss but ultimately, failed the shit test so hard he was going to be nexted be her.
Truedemocracy4 5y ago
Thing is all men aren’t perfect. We may not all have this level trauma of course. But no man is the perfect bastion of masculinity women wanf
bringer_of_glory 5y ago
It's not that he is traumatized, it's how he handels the trauma. He leans too much on her.
Another problem is her few on relationships. She doesn't want to see and love him for what he is - with his good and bad sides - but to hold on to the image she had about him. Now, she wants to find another man, that is in line with this image. But there is no perfect man/woman or perfect relationship. It's what you make out of it.
So actually he can be lucky - now he can find a more committed partner and she will hopefully understand with time, what a relationship is really about.
throwaway-aa2 5y ago
GOT EM!!!! How poetic is this shit. I can just see the wheels turning, trying to figure out a way to justify this... and there wouldn't be an effort to see the truth... the effort would be to "immediately" go "ok ok how is this justified, can I find anyway to justify this... there has to be something.... ummmm".
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the99percent1 5y ago
Let em. Girls and soy boys like this will never improve themselves from achieving greatness. It's always an external problem that they can't resolve.
SexdictatorLucifer 5y ago
Very true, and while I don't think its necessarily right, at the same time I don't blame her for losing attraction. I had something similar happen around the same age to a lesser degree. Never actually got penetrated like this guy was, so perhaps that changes things, but I doubt it makes that much of a difference as the real effect is psychological from being sexually dominated at a young age. It was a friend of mine who would occasionally force himself on me and basically pretend I was a girl without actually fucking me. Kept happening until one time I just told him to stop, and he did. Never did it again. I put it behind us, we kept being friends and played football together in high school. I still talk to him occasionally to this day.
A lot of guys experience once they hit the intense hornyness that comes with puberty and they don't know what to do with it. It's very common among boys that are cousins to have this type of occurrence. Most guys look back and think "damn, that's awkward" and move on. I will say, for a guy in his 20's to still be traumatized by something like that IS a bit weak, despite being penetrated. Deal with it like you should have a decade ago. And don't cry to your girlfriend like a bitch.
NOW, this is assuming his "step-brother" was close in age and hitting puberty. I think being molested by an older man at that age is a completely different story and will actually fuck you up bad in the head. Most homosexuals were raped by an older man at a young age, etc...
GodOfDinosaurs 5y ago
I'm actually not sure about this. It could very well be that knowing he was EVER weak or overpowered is killing her attraction. I could see her having the same reaction even if he had not broken down.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
I see it as just the opposite. Everybody knows that all people were weak-just think, all people were little crying babies whose pants were full of shit, and were washed by their parents.
No, the problem was that the dude was crying like a faggot, wanting, no, NEEDING, her support. If a man HAS to cry, for death in the family, dog dies, loses his AR or AK47, he had fucking well better not be holding her while he does it!
ETA: Forgot to add: Old Boy gave her both fucking barrels at the same time! He didn't say 'Well, I've been going to a psychiatrist/wtf for a few weeks." He just let her have it. Also, he was clinging to her, crying...he didn't say "Hey, Babe, I can't make it over this week. I've been dealing with some stuff..." He also didn't say 'I may tell you about it...'
She was wanting a stiffy and he starts with the waterworks and self-disclosure!
max_peenor 5y ago
Yup. We don't get a free pass just because something bad happened to us. The universe simply doesn't care what happens to the sperm factories. They are a dime a dozen. On the other hand, the baby factories can still make babies regardless of how damaged they are (excepting physical damage, of course) and uterus contributes to the long term survival of the species.
good_guy_submitter 5y ago
Except women are helpless and die without men.
http://www.returnofkings.com/32053/this-accidental-experiment-shows-the-superiority-of-patriarchy
max_peenor 5y ago
Yes, but they only need a subset of men to make that happen. History is basically the retelling of the same story over and over--how to dispose of excess men and concentrate resources to the winners.
WarriorMonkMode 5y ago
Bad shit happens to every man. The difference between men and boys is that men use it as an opportunity, not to be wasted or squandered, whereas boys use it as an excuse.
Every tragedy is another chapter in your book. Make sure it's each chapter is worth reading. Make your book thick. Bitches love thick stuff.
Heinous_White_Man 5y ago
I did touch on these points, but I probably should have made his weakness in the present the main point rather than his weakness in the past. Although I question whether she would have had a different reaction if he didn't cry and breakdown, but told her about this event without the emotion. I don't necessarily believe that her attraction for him wouldn't waver at least a little.
Either way, it's true that now he is seen as weak by seeing a therapist and crying in front of her, and is now, in her eyes, damaged goods.
Selexus 5y ago
Having had a similar traumatic experience (8yrs old.....school teacher... :( ) i have told less that 10 people in my life what happened, and that includes the police officers.
2 of those are now dead (a good friend and my mum), my sister doesn't know, my father doesn't know. This was very deliberate on my part.
The first person i told (very emotionally) was a girl that, in my BP days, i thought was the one. the relationship crumbled and i internally realized that this began after i had told her of my past.
The other people i have told, i have deliberately recanted my experience in clear unemotional tones. I do not talk about my feelings, only events, when explaining the series of incidents. The exception to that was my good friend Jon. He had a similar experience and i was able to discuss things in depth with him. He committed suicide (many other factors, not just the abuse) so the one person in the world who understood was gone. And that was ok too, because i had understood him, and he I.
Having talked about it, and having deliberately concealed it, i know and understand that the feminist psychological trope of "not bottling things up" in partially true.
After talking to Jon i now know I'm ok. I don't need to tell anyone else. But if i hadn't talked about it i may have dwelled on it to much, i may have internalised it....
My current LTR knows. I told her once. Very unemotionally, without detail. It has never been mentioned again.
Talking about trauma is (for some) necessary, but be careful who you tell.
shaggyctes88 5y ago
Sorry to hear that man, however you are here, and I believe in you.
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Selexus 5y ago
What makes you think I haven’t?
I’ve stood outside his house with a knife in my hand waiting for him to come out. Absolutely the truth. This was 12 years after the events. 30 years ago now.
Turns out he had died a couple of years earlier. A family lived there now. Until you resolve in your heart to kill someone, you don’t truly understand what you are capable of. Yes I may have bottled out when face to face, but I was genuinely disappointed to find death had a taken my opportunity from me.
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the99percent1 5y ago
It was a shit test. He could've said "let's fuck now and see whether im underpeforming."
And boom, her attraction for him would've multiplied.
He failed the shit test in the most 'wtf' way possible. And now millions of internet strangers have come to know of his fuck up. Lol. He sounds like a smart guy so he will learn from this blunder.
magx01 5y ago
Ah, no. Once he cried it was over.
Managicall 5y ago
I don't care if he just got raped in the ass by the mailman that is no excuse to shit at the dinner table. Manners are what separate us from animals.
DrMrJrSr 5y ago
So would you rather him bottle his trauma and "man up" today, just to go psycho from repression tomorrow?
Managicall 5y ago
Since when is a single sentence a reply? You got anything more than a cheap comeback? English is clearly not your first language. From what region of Europe do you come from?
You (not u/DrMrJrSr) either want the partner in front of you (not u/DrMrJrSr) or you (not u/DrMrJrSr) don't and you (not u/DrMrJrSr) leave them. Narcissism has no place in the bedroom.
I'm learning Finnish right now so I can translate English better and not have to put up with people whom cannot articulate a theory of mind. English does not change sentence context of every object and verb due to the subject's identity. In the future I hope the Internet has algorithms to route around this common source of ignorance. Currently I use a plugin to detect these speech patterns. With web page translations being so common now days everyone is on Reddit and don't understand what they are reading worth a damn. You can call it global correctness or NPC speech, but its a real problem. Identity politics, gay lisps, and abuse of pronouns are all signs of cultural failings with sexual problems in the bedroom being the least of our worries.
DrMrJrSr 5y ago
Found another "Anger Phase".
It gets better with time bud..
[deleted] 5y ago
Yep. Taking the story at face value, if a woman is fully vetted for a LTR, this is probably information she needs to know. However, it has to come from a position of strength, of having overcome. Women love that shit.
FractalNerve 5y ago
Experienced the same. She loved me and was a model, taller than me and everyone was eyeing her. I have beaten a gang alone who were making tremendous trouble and also raped a girl whom I got revenge for. But it was of course totally unappreciated by the victim who I carried home..
However my girl loved the soft and weak looking fearless, careless crazy alpha that I was. Until I opened one day a few months in and told her I got mobbed at school and had suicidal toughts, but overcame them, fought and won against the whole school every break or hid when adrenaline rush was too much. Regardless of the "win", now I had a crack in her imagination. A contradiction, something that negates all my greatness in her head.
CainPrice 5y ago
Frankly, as asshole as it sounds, I'd never seriously date a rape victim.
Which sucks. Rape is terrible. It's not the woman's fault. A bad person did something horrible to her.
But as a result, she's damaged inside. She spent the next two years after her rape having casual sex with everyone she could in some desperate psychological attempt to reclaim her power and sexuality by having sex by choice on her terms. Then spent the next two years after that being a complete prude for similar reasons. And today, maybe she's more balanced, but there are still some sex acts I can't do to her, some ways I can't behave, some things I can't say, because they're all triggers to her past trauma. Meanwhile, she's spending 150 bucks a week to see a therapist and her mentality regarding sex is completely different than mine is or than a non-rape victim's mentality.
It sucks, because it's not her fault. Somebody bad did something terrible to her. But it's not my fault either. Why would I let her past trauma affect my sex life?
However, women do like dark and twisted pasts. If you were raped at age 11, murdered your attacker, saw a therapist at age 12, and you're hunky dory now and not losing your erection or seeing a therapist or breaking down crying at age 24, and it's just a cool colorful story from your past, women love that.
DDzxy 5y ago
What if she WASN'T affected by it anymore? She hates whoever did it and wants revenge out of principle, but doesn't give a shit anymore.
CainPrice 5y ago
It wouldn't be my problem because she wouldn't be my girlfriend. Any woman who claims to be a rape victim goes into the sex-only box. That applies to women who were actually raped as well as women who use the more modern and far looser and less horrifying definition of rape. I don't want to seriously date either of them, for different reasons.
[deleted] 5y ago
Yep. One of my girls was repeatedly molested by her stepfather, and thrown under the bus by her mother when it was reported. Brutal stuff. I can do almost anything I want to her, outside of use my hands on her vulva, for reasons you mentioned.
I will say this: she has worked very hard to get past it. Not all victims have.
Yep. My grandfather was a pedophile. He never got a hold of me, but even at 8 years old, I knew he was evil and I could probably get away with putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. I got my first gun at 5, I have known how to handle guns since before my first memory, and remain convinced almost 40 years later that it would have been immensely satisfying to end that piece shit.
​
[deleted] 5y ago
My first long ltr as an adult was with a forced date rape victim in college. This is years before regret rape became a thing, I believe her story.
You are correct in your analysis
friendandadvisor 5y ago
Regret rape prosecution has been around for at least 60 years, probably forever.
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batman_carlos 5y ago
That is why men should never cry
Camp_KillYourself 5y ago
Stupid manosphere virtue-signalling bullshit.
"My friend and comrade was blown up in WWII...I'm not a pussy though so I won't cry as he dies in my arms"
"My daughter died of cancer at 3 years old. I won't cry tho cuz I'm not a pussy, I took a cold shower instead"
wanderer779 5y ago
It's not that you can't cry it's just being cognizant of the effect it has on women.
Some shit happens and you're sad. You wanna cry, but your wife is sittinf there and you aren't sure how she'll react. You can cry in front of her, and it will probably be alright, but you also know you're creating work for yourself. There's a good chance of more shit tests, cheating, whatever. Or you can just keep a stiff upper lip and wait till you're alone and cry it out and avoid all that. In poker terms, crying is almost always -ev.
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friendandadvisor 5y ago
You're distorting the mythos, though, aren't you?
It's OK to cry, just not to seek support from women while doing it. Because, men will never find support from that source. At least, not by crying.
Camp_KillYourself 5y ago
Distorting?
OP said NEVER cry. I never said anything about expecting support so that is distorting my point.
Life can be unbearably shitty at times. Someone that's never lived or experienced anything would come up with some bullshit like "never cry" obviously shit happens that is awful.
Obviously don't be a blubbering idiot about stupid shit but when shit gets real (like the examples I mentioned) I don't look down on any man that would shed a tear under those circumstances.
Battagliare 5y ago
That is why men should never cry infront of strangers,women and childeren*
There you go, fixed it for ya.
batman_carlos 5y ago
I prefer not cry... I don't know how to do it properly
Battagliare 5y ago
If you dont know how to cry properly, its possible that you are suppressing your emotions. Because its a natural urge actually.
Helmet_Icicle 5y ago
Not crying is just as weak as inappropriately crying. You're still reacting to a stimuli under its control instead of creating action based on the best available choice to retain your self-control.
You need to invest in significant self-reflection, and learn how to effectively express yourself.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
This here. SJWs always say that 'toxic masculinity' declares that 'men should not cry', which is, of course, a lie. I'll be the first person to say that it's OK for men to cry, but, I'll also be the first to say that only a super bitch dumbfuck no balls chicken shit excuse for a man would actually cry in front of women. That or somebody that is a victim of SJW horseshit. (Of course, if your mom gets murdered right in front of you, or something totally out of the blue like that, it's acceptable, but, some psyche drama like OP has, no fucking way!)
Yz250mudbogtractor 5y ago
your a stupid fuck arent you? what are you, 18 years old? almost sound like an SJW yourself
quantumsyndrom 5y ago
Dude, the guy was raped. That's an incredibly traumatic experience for anyone.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
Definitely.
But, you know what? If he cries in front of another bitch about it, he'll end up in the same boat as this time.
warburgio 5y ago
Cmon were speaking about 20 yr old. Why would any girl that age stay with a drama guy.
DocZTheRockstar 5y ago
Being raped is serious. Screws you all up. He felt he could let out this with her. His "partner" turned away from him. He was probably told women are the more caring. Couldn't be more wrong.
tengo_una_pregunta 5y ago
Took the bait hook line and sinker lol. The internet savyness of the average redditor has really tanked the last couple of years.
KneesForThee 5y ago
Seriously. Regardless of the endless mantra of AWALT we champion here, this post was nothing more than a troll. Keep up guys.
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Managicall 5y ago
Hardships and effects thereof not realized into mitigating behaviors of motivation are not part of any identity. If you continue to passively sit there and accept punishment then you will be punished and the sooner the better because nobody needs that shit.
If you aren't part of the solution then you are part of the problem. The simplest way to avoid this is never ask a question that you do not wish to receive an answer nor tolerate anything to go unanswered. Accountability is a trait sought after in mates.
420KUSHBUSH 5y ago
One of the most important rules in speaking/rhetoric, anytime someone mentions the word "but", you can automatically disregard what that person said before the "but" since its more than likely them not being honest
With that being said, some people suck. The world is not a perfect place. Don't let it get to you, there is good out there. If you focus on the negative, the negative will come to you. If you focus on the positive, the positive will come to you
Humon1902 5y ago
Isn't that horrific? Isn't being in a relationship all about being intimate... if you have to bottle yourself up and put on false airs just to keep your place, you're not really being intimate with the other person, you're not really in a meaningful relationship.
People have got to be better than that.
I've heard third-wave feminists talk about how men are disgusting monster pigs who want to take advantage of women and use them and it's such an obvious misrepresentation of us. This reads to me like the manosphere version of that. I don't think it's rational to use one twisted bitch to explain away the pathology of all women. I think (hope?) that actual, mutually beneficial, productive, honest love is possible.
If it's true that women are all self-serving cunts and I have to pretend to be a fake "invincible" Superman version of myself to keep them... fuck it, I'll stay single. :/
LittleGanymede 5y ago
Preech Brotha. This was the comment I was looking for.
This thread is full of people essentially saying "he wasn't man enough because he showed weakness."
He had his life together and could function on a day by day basis. Yet because he decided to open up in private to someone he thought he could trust with all of himself they, the people in this sub, are calling him a pussy.
What a load of horseshit.
I pity the existence of anyone who feels like they have to be this stone wall of emotion in order to keep their "loved ones" attraction.
What I can agree on is that a man opening himself up to a woman is not attractive. Maybe it's not necessarily unattractivve, but it's not attractive. IF a woman is still attracted to you after opening up to her then she is attracted to you DESPITE you opening up because you are attractive enough to her for her to accept your moment of weakness.
That in and of itself is a very sad and pitiable truth and one reason I stay single.
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AlphaAndy 5y ago
No, lying is weakness. If you're too chicken shit to tell your girl how you feel then your asking to get chucked.
LittleGanymede 5y ago
The is contradictory to the top comments in this thread. Most are saying you should hide your feelings.
AlphaAndy 5y ago
hiding your feelings never leads anywhere good, its a beta behaviour
LittleGanymede 5y ago
Not according to literally all the top comments here.
Why do you believe most people here disagree with you and advocate for hiding signs of weakness and feelings of vulnerability?
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RedForEducation 5y ago
Try not to stray, the rules apply outside of our thunderdome threads.
To answer your question, yes, if a girl wears her victimization as an identity, no good comes from it, and you will be labeled as the badguy.
In the case of this post, the purpose is to show you that your woman does not care to be the emotional tampon to a guys pain. Confess at your own risk
The-Protege 5y ago
Maybe she never loved him and simply loved what he projected.
huey764 5y ago
Isnt this the case with most women?
The-Protege 5y ago
Well then maybe we should all be ourselves. I have definitely obtained some great tools from TRP but my girlfriend and I have shared our emotional traumas and we are perfectly fine. Maybe it's just me.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
Great idea.
Great idea.
Yeah, really great idea.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I think my scrotum just split from laughing so much.
smokebowlington 5y ago
Really appreciate this analysis.
drkinferno72 5y ago
God damn this man really pulled himself up
I'd shake his hand and buy him a beer
Nergaal 5y ago
I bet in a few years from now, this woman will remember the relationship with this guy as having been abusive, and full of regret-rape.
redpill77 5y ago
Men are protection-objects (if you're alpha fucks, provider-object if beta bux), stop crying about it.
Also, please put some work into editing and coherence. Your 2nd and 3rd takeaways are things you didn't address at all in the post.
GodOfDinosaurs 5y ago
To be fair, the comment section roasted the hell out of her. But one does wonder if the women making those comments would have had the same reaction whether they wanted to or not.
DakJev 5y ago
Read this in the mgtow subreddit. This confirms that women are not your “partner” in every sense of the word. As being a partner impies equality and trust, a equal companion to live by your side. But, hypergamy demands inequality, as it is always reaching for higher. Which is all too easy in our current society of dating options for women. After reading this, I’ve completely given up the idea of finding a women as a “partner.” Its going to be the pump and dump lifestyle for me. EVEN a dog wouldn’t lose respect for you if you cry. I can make another thread about this, but I once cried in my nursing program when the discussion was about a patient death. Yeah, I was fucked in the head and a pussy back then. But to see all the women in my class pussy’s dry up faster than water in the sahara desert was a whole other world of fuckery. Just get a dog.
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DakJev 5y ago
Um you make it sound like what I'm saying isn't correct. Women overwhelming respond negative to men who cry, DESPITE saying they want men to open up. Fact. I sound bitter? Well that's cuz I am. Hard to not be bitter when you been lied to about the nature of women your whole life. Get out of here with your low IQ reply.
vivid_mind 5y ago
They want men to open up so they can easily spot those who avoid.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
Def.
Further, I think that when they say they want men to open up, what they mean is they want to hear "OK, Babe, I've been holding this back, but...OK, here goes...My last name isn't X, it's Rothschild! Oh, I'm so, so sorry I haven't been honest, boohoo, can you forgive me?? The family lawyers always said that the Trust fund would be endangered if I spoke of it, but, I wanted to tell you for so long! BTW, I also want you to fuck the poolboy after we're married."
PhattyBacon 5y ago
Same thing as saying "we don't like being hit on in the gym, supermarket, bars, clubs, streets, restaurants..."
It's all bs to cull the wheat from the chaff
GiraffeOnWheels 5y ago
So you saw the truth and now you're bitter. Get past the anger phase. Dangerously approaching incel territory.
silwr 5y ago
Lol this is a b8 and you ate it whole.
largepaycheckaddict 5y ago
OP getting shit from posters who would most likely do the same thing as her but have never been put in that position. AWALT. Had a similar thing happen to me when opening up to a GF about the physical/psych abuse from my father growing up.
This is the reason men don’t act all “emotionally available” and why it’s best to never share disturbing shit like this with a woman. Talk to your dad, grandpa, best guy friends (shield brothers), or therapist. Seriously guys there’s many options for you to open up about this stuff without wrecking a sexual relationship.
SwoleyMoleyFrijoley 5y ago
Women do not want damaged goods. A porsche with a knock in the engine could blow up at any time. Women are not your friends, they are your adversaries in a negotiation for sexual access and resource provisioning. This guy showed his weakness and that his product was flawed
bemore_ 5y ago
I'm curious how your relationships are ?
SwoleyMoleyFrijoley 5y ago
I have great relationships but they are based on reality not Disney love. I know they're with me because of my status, money, looks, game, etc. I consider myself a good person and I treat her like a queen. However, the queen is the king's bitch and she knows it. I do not prescribe to the love conquers all bullshit. Love is effort. She puts it in, so do I. She doesn't? Neither do I.
bemore_ 5y ago
My ears perked up when you reffered to your partner as your adversary not your friend, surely that's not healthy
What about love in a spiritual sense ? Wouldn't you say our existence and expression have anything to do with this higher purpose ?
I always lead my girls down this road, via friendship. Many of them want to give and receive love for it's own sake. More often they can only do this via children/family/pets.
Many others want to leverage sex for resources/status and men vice versa, and this is usually when the ego/mind reffers to people as adversaries, cos it's literally a tool evolved for acquisition
ProFriendZoner 5y ago
I'll bet he won't do that again.
Thunderbird93 5y ago
I enjoyed the reductionism to value economics. I lost my virginity to a stripper who said cops raped her but that's a ghost situation. Dude should have kept his problems with the therapist
SwoleyMoleyFrijoley 5y ago
Show significant weakness to a woman you won't be loved more you'll be seen as damaged at best or exploited at worst
Nexus_666 5y ago
My sister told me this a long time ago: Never under any circumstance cry in front of your girlfriend, unless you want her to break up with you.
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Loze1 5y ago
Wow, really goes to show how you can't tell women anything negative about yourself. Read it in the sidebar. I think by revealing his emotions he fell for the blue pill media trap that he'll get closer with his SO. More men need to sit down and watch good old Western shows like Gunsmoke and Bat Masterson.
Michael_Uchiha6 5y ago
Never seen 'em, but all of a sudden, I feel like watching them.
[deleted] 5y ago
On the flip side of this, I know a couple in which almost an identical situation happened, but the woman was incredibly supportive, and they’re still together years later.
Then again, the guy in question is 6’6”, a footie genius, and a mensa member, so it’s not a fair comparison for mere mortals with trauma.
bondbandito 5y ago
Be careful, someone by the corners is about to scream "BUT AWALT"
CommanderBlurf 5y ago
The minute she sees him as replaceable, though...
K1KK0_1t4 5y ago
Not easy unless the president of mensa is 6'7.
Checkmate, low IQ manlets!
Ananonguy88 5y ago
Before we start chanting AWALT, consider that receiving such emotional weight after 5 months of dating probable tinder match guy can be quite heavy for a girl looking for Instagram brag material. Be honest, if a girl broke down crying to me about childhood rape after 5 months of casual dating I'd also reconsider. Drama is not what most of us look for in dating, an modern youth are especially unable to lift their own weight, what about other ones. Instagram model of life where everything is perfect and amazing polluted both males and females and there is no place for such breakdowns now in casual life. I think it starts to work both ways nor females nor men are able to give or receive emotional support to each other since I'm also nexting on any drama symptoms now (I did not before and I regret it). Very sad, but that's were all of this is going. Even most parents and families are shit at this stuff now days.
Treasure people that still can still listen, share and give support, for me it's circle of good friends that were being selected out through years and trials, not even family can replace them. Rest are just fun and fucks.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
To be fair, it's quite a burden for any human to have your SO break down one day and do a hex core dump of more than half a lifetime of unprocessed and repressed childhood trauma.
The man was damaged goods through no fault of his own, but objectively he was in no shape for an LTR with that mental time bomb ticking. I don't know his life story, but this crisis could and should have been prevented by effective therapy before he met her.
The phrase "toxic masculinity" has become freighted with conspiracy theories, but we're honestly missing the boat if we try to pass off repressing psychological problems to the detriment of self and others until they explode out of control like this as healthy masculinity.
TommyTheThird 5y ago
Wow this is a great point that I hadnt considered. Thanks fr this.
[deleted] 5y ago
Piling on to this excellent point-
a 20 year old human is hardly fully emotionally developed or equipped to even deal or empathize with such a horrific situation if they’ve been raised in the mostly safe and secure West. Its completely unrelatable if the worst problem of your entire life was was that you got a shitty car for your sweet 16 or some other truly minor in the grand scheme first world problem.
A 20 year old Syrian who experienced the end of civilization as they knew it could relate much easier to a massive trauma such as this man’s past.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
Partly this.... weak for needing her support, weak for seeing a therapist, weak for crying.
But she also now perceives him as sexually subservient and submissive to someone else.
That is happened when he was 11 is utterly irrelevant to her.
It's all in her phrasing:
and
Notice she didn't say "he is a victim of sexual abuse". Instead it's "raped by another man". The focus is on him as the loser in this interaction. Women are allowed to be victims. Men are not allowed to be losers.
Even though this happened when he was 11, it's enough to destroy his dominant image in her eyes.
And yet if men dumped women every time they posted a pound-metoo hashtag the world would run out of cats within weeks.
Women do not love men in any way at all. They feel attraction, need, joy. But their so-called love has no sacrificial element, very little giving, negligible support.
[deleted] 5y ago
I laughed at my gf and dumped her when she told me she got raped the night before. Shouldnt have left me at home to go out with her "friends".
Battagliare 5y ago
Its harsh man, i get it but its really harsh.
russelln 5y ago
Disgusting. Shit like this alnost forces me back into the anger phase. But you just have to breathe and let it pass at this point.
DocZTheRockstar 5y ago
Yuuup. Sounds about right. It does not matter how masculine a man is, a woman's hypergamy and manipulation will turn him opposite unless he knows their nature. After her image of her man gets distorted, she will see him in that way forever. She won't help him, so he should've never relied or put his emotional baggage on her. Treat her like a child. If a man is falling through hard times, seek help from anyone else other than her. Never let her know about it. It however makes me sad cause she is suppose to support her man through hard times, but hypergamy does not care. That's how a strong relationship is suppose to be, but due to female nature, it isn't
Truedemocracy4 5y ago
So true lads. The fact she asked about it after a week and a half of bad sex is pathetic. Anything could cause that (stress at work, family stuff, etc)
Hell it doesn’t even take a trauma like that for a woman to lose respect. Women build up this image of you and if you break from it they move on. I’m jacked now but used to be fat years ago, whenever I share this women they got turned off so stopped doing it. Similarly, sharing family problems is a big no
I would say it’s a relief the comments call her out on it but watch what people do, not what they say. The OP would probably say the same shit a month ago in the comments section
hivro2 5y ago
I would say that her level of stupidity is an outlier.
Judging by the comments I don't think one person agreed and I'm assuming there are other females on that sub.
throwaway-aa2 5y ago
Na. Couple of things:
dartfulavenger 5y ago
Speaking as a man I would find the idea of a hot woman in the eqivalent scenario equally unattractive.
BigYellowLemon 5y ago
Oh man the comments are glorious. Go on the removeddit link. A really good comment was removed by the mod but honestly I ain't even mad as the mod explained they agreed 100% with the comment but simply had to follow the sub rules. Also on removeddit you'll see the girls deleted messages abd honestly, lime someone in the thread said, I cannot tell whether the girls actually a troll or just a complete psychopath.
If the story is real, obviously she's the definition of a cold heartless bitch, but I'm not surprised abd it makes complete sense. Humans are programmed animals, and emotions are simply a matte of inputs and the genetics of the brain; this is especially true for the "masses", the "basic bitch" girls.
It's as simple as she's an animal programmed to be sexually aroused by a dominant man; by telling her his secret she now knows he's been "dominated" by another male in the past, and her female pecking-order-driven brain immediately and subconsciously lowered his status in her mind.
Virtually all girls work like this, and it's all subconscious, this pecking order. Men don't have this to near the same extent and thus their opinions, feelings, and relationship of someone won't flip on a dime like a girls will.
Girls perception of a man, besides her son, is capable of flipping within a minute, from the love of her life to someone she's indifferent towards. Not all girls but the majority of them.
This is a trait that's proven very useful for past women and spreading their genes. It's helpful in a tribal setting both for inter-tribe relationships but also for when the tribe is influenced by a foreign party. This trait is good for dealing with men in her own tribe, as well as dealing with foreign men.
Just know that if the roles were reversed it woukd ve completely different. Not all men will stay with a rape victim, but barely any men will have their sexual attraction immediately disappear towards the person. A women's attraction to the man will immediately vanish, while in the opposite case the man will stay the same or even become more protective - and the men who leave will leave because it "isn't what they signed up for", not because "she can't make me hard anymore" (while women WILL say "he can't make me wet anymore now that I know he was raped").
RPLawyer 5y ago
Feminists be like: " bUt mEn mUsT sHoW tHeIr eMotIoNs mOrE".
See where that leads ya?
MilkMoney111 5y ago
Usually this can be solved by simply fucking other women she knows. She sees other women experiencing all those feels you once gave her.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
The man was whining to her like a bitch. Sad, but, true.
I know, I know, I'm not half the man he is. But, we all know the woman isn't flawed-she is doing her part. The guy isn't doing his. Neither are the asshole, but, HE is the malefactor, just as an insane person cannot be guilty of committing a crime, but, yes, the person DID do it. He IS unfit, because he cried in her arms about his problems. Just because he got fucked over by life doesn't mean that we should excuse him and castigate her.
If we must know who the Asshole is, look to his therapist that probably advised him that it was 'alright to share your emotions with..." the girlfriend.
DeadliftRx 5y ago
I got downvoted straight into hell over at MR for stating that it is anyone's right to personal preference and no one should ever have to deal with an S/O with this kind of baggage. I stand by that belief, and this one:
She didn't leave him because he was raped. She left him because he showed weakness in dealing with those events.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
I agree with this, but, I believe you understated his behavior. He didn't 'show weakness', he fucking blubbered like a motherfucker, and hanged onto her like a baby, depending on her for support.
DeadliftRx 5y ago
Honestly, I'm not putting ANY blame on the dude. Who knows what we went through - right? I certainly don't. But that crippling experience doesn't change female nature.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
I 100% agree with you.
Actually, whenever I talk about people being weak pussies, it's because 80% of the time, I was in that exact same position, and I know what and why they were doing the faggy shit.
It's because of the BP conditioning. I call these people pussies not because they are hopeless, but, because they are not living up to their potential.
Now, if I call them hopeless pussies, then, yes, of course, they are hopeless!
cafeitalia 5y ago
Just like you will dump your so called perfect girl in a situation like this, she dumped her perfect man. Looks like she is true red pilled.
oldman_stone 5y ago
if you want to brake up with a chick let her know something like this, I would then give it 3 weeks
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OracleofFl 5y ago
Now let's imagine that the genders were reversed and a woman revealed that she had been raped at 11 years old and then the guy ditched her. I suspect that the XX Chromosome crowd would be all over the guy for doing that.
eeeehshure 5y ago
It's most probablly a troll
blr1998 5y ago
I think its one of those experiments where they repost the same thing in 6 months, change genders, and compare responses.
Camp_KillYourself 5y ago
This has to be a fucking troll post, no woman is that direct in saying something like this. They would be wishy-washy
The way he writes sounds like a way a man would:
"But as a woman, just separating yourself, can you understand why i would just instinctively feel this way after seeing and gearing this? Wouldnt hearing that your boyfriend was penetrated by another man and seeing him cry excessively change your view of him when hes acting completely opposite? I think alot of the posters here are men but i think women might be able to understand what im saying a bit better."
Appeals to logic...
"But in your specific comment its a bit of a false equivalence to compare a man being raped exactly to a woman. To clarify rape is HORRIBLE no matter what sex. But women being raped is more common and its not exactly common to see big guys get forcibly penetrated. Even if they were young. It does sort of shake that "masculine macho" vibe that they have. It may sound harsh but thats the reality at least in my case right now."
Women don't talk like that lol
There's also no other post history on this person, so shitpost.
No other women on the post seem to agree with him ("her") which usually tells me his hamstering isn't up to the par of modern women.
GiraffeOnWheels 5y ago
So she's trans and gay lol. Nah, solid analysis.
Heinous_White_Man 5y ago
Honestly, I did consider this. It seems a little too extreme for it to be a real situation, but I've also read so much fucked up shit that turned out to be true, that I wouldn't bat an eye if this was a real woman.
On the flip side, I have to question; who doesn't think they're an asshole after thinking this? It's not like she would need confirmation. Even if it is a troll, I think there are still good reminders here even if the story ends up being fake.
DakJev 5y ago
Even if it is a troll post. I can confirm that girls really do act that way if you cry. You have to see it to believe it.
Camp_KillYourself 5y ago
They would not be this direct though. They would blame it on something else. And say he's not attractive to me because he's "withdrawn"
"I feel like we've moved apart"
"I don't want to leave him while he's going through this tough time BUT..."
warlordchad 5y ago
Yep. Quick example: I was in a bar finishing my second novel and I cried after I wrote the last word because it finally felt like I got the right ending... female bartender saw this and reacted with a look of disgust. Women don’t give a fuck about your feelings. They care how you make them feel. And honestly I don’t blame them. Do they want the guy who cries all the time or the chief who cuts off the heads of his enemies? Who’s better for her offspring?
friendandadvisor 5y ago
I read this as 'the chef who cuts off the heads of his enemies?'
Carry on.
Shaman6624 5y ago
Hm whenever I show my true emotions to my girlfriend she is all over me.. Why is that?
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Snowaey 5y ago
Why is she a bad person for not being attracted to him anymore after seeing him cry?
You can't negotiate attraction.
throwaway-aa2 5y ago
whoosh
Let me break this down for you.
Of course. "We" know that. Red Pill guys. You know.... the misogynists, who have a QUARANTINED community, up there with... you know... "racist" communities... because we're clearly in that bucket. So that's the first point... it's yet another piece of proof that we know what the fuck we're talking about.
The other point: don't show weakness as a man to a woman. They're not equipped to hear it, and still be attracted to you. Again, an idea mainstream media, and mainstream society, would deem to be incredibly sexist. Also: keep in mind in this example, the guy she's dating is a "perfect man". So imagine if this shit happened, and the guy was like a 7 out of 10, or an 8 out of 10, instead of the 10 out of 10 that is being portrayed here.
To break down your last point: yes, you cannot negotiate attraction. But what's the deeper meaning there, as it relates to this post?
Keep this in mind: the whole point of this subreddit, especially when it comes to storytelling, is to give you reference experience that matches up with what we're taught. "oh, you don't believe our teachings? exhibit A". It serves to ground the teachings, and serve as a constant reminder.
I'll actually go even further: I will say that they're bad (at least in current society). They're ruthless, and their liars about their true nature. Which is fine... we just live in a weird time where our female ancestors made decisions that have led to all around unhappiness for both men and women, not understanding that we "should" be leading. But I mean at their core, they're not bad for being attracted to something. It's just all the bullshit that surrounds it is the problem... and stories like this are meant to just make you wake up to reality, and to also just laugh at how dumb some other people are that they don't believe this shit is real.
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pbar 5y ago
She's not. It's completely natural.
He'll know better next time.
Standgrounding 5y ago
Because shes extremely shallow
DocZTheRockstar 5y ago
Im pretty sure being raped as avkid will mess you all up. Leaving your partner because of something like this is indeed being a bad partner. A good partner helps the other through it. Forget the attraction part. Think if he was married to her and broke down. She gets a divorce and takes everything he has making him even worse, and probably commit suicide.
Snowaey 5y ago
What the fuck? Of course it would mess anyone up? Not saying anything about that?
Can't blame her for not being attracted to him anymore though, why would she not break up with him if she's not sexually attracted to him anymore? It just makes sense to not be sexually exclusive any longer, since the fundamental thing that makes a relationship is that you're both sexually attracted to each other. Might not be how you want it to be, but that's how it is, so enjoy the decline.