Throughout most of my undergrad I was in a long term relationship with someone I met in first year. This person was the first person I truly loved. I did date before her but this girl had me sprung. It's important to note that I had a very simpy outlook on women and relationships at this time. My female role models, like my mom, instilled in me that women are God's gift and should be cherished and worshipped since they are the ones who endure pregnancy, give birth, etc you know where I'm going here.
Well I was always that guy in university that everyone had high expectations for. I was in a great program at a prestigious school, and I had solid grades, and a great work ethic that I exercised everywhere (including my passion for body building, pun intended). Everyone expected I'll be that guy who gets his MBA and ends up making 200k a year. I also did a few (legitimate) modeling gigs (not instagram shit) so I would say that I'm good looking. I don't want to sound cocky but I'm setting up the story here. Oh yeah, I was one of those simps who believed in spoiling your girl with gifts and attention. Basically I was the poster child for the ideal boyfriend for women.
Fast forward to my final year. We break things off cause I begin to realize I'm the guy pulling the weight while she got increasingly lazier and entitled to what I provided her in terms of attention, support, love, gifts/surprises, etc. I realized I kinda had some part in this because I created this high expectation of myself to her that I had to constantly meet in order to keep the relationship happy.
Shortly after this I enjoyed my time being single for the first time in a while and got to fuck women who were waiting from the sidelines for me to end my relationship with my ex.
Got to realize how superficial these women were. They didn't give a fuck about me, they only cared for who I was in terms of image and how they would look next to me. Of course this made me miss my ex cause I saw her as someone who actually gave a fuck at one point.
Probably 3 months after the break up, a string of bad luck hits my life. Won't go into too much detail but I'll explain a few things for context. Two family members who raised me as a kid (grandparents, since I grew up poor and both parents had to work full time) passed away abruptly, my crew of my closest friends broke up because 2 guys went to jail for fraud and drug trafficking (one guy fled the country when he realized it was getting hot and was later tracked down in Australia). Also, this fuck nigga friend I had was drunk driving another friend's car and scrapped it against my car while I was sitting in it pre-ing with a couple friends before a party and was able to pin the blame on me even tho my car wasn't moving. I refused to pay for damages since I didnt do it, but that guy had more pull in the group due to being one of those phony nice guys and got me exiled from my friend group. My little sister tried to commit suicide twice. And a bunch of other shit too. I started binge smoking weed and drinking to mask all these feelings of loss and disappointment because I really had no one to talk to about these things. I lost my support system, and started to get lonely. I stopped working out too since I lost passion for it. Things got worse when I lost my job after the company restructured and things at home got worse.
It got to the point where I was down and out. Other friends I spoke to just figured I would eventually just 'get over it' or 'figure it out' since I was pretty much bulletproof during school. I started cutting these people off. I started cheating on women i was dating because I knew they didn't really give a fuck about me. And essentially I dug myself into this hole of loneliness and depression. Matters got worse when I couldn't land a real gig after graduating and was working random jobs to make money. Eventually I became homeless cause matters at home got really bad.
Well this continued on for some time and I became increasingly more desperate for a real connection with someone I care about and I reached out to that ex because I still kinda blamed myself for spoiling her. I sent her a new message saying I really need someone to talk to since my life has fallen apart and I have no one to go to. I couldn't believe what happened next. I got a notification on my phone that someone viewed my LinkedIn profile, and I saw that it was her. I put those random jobs that didn't pertain to my degree on my LinkedIn to show recruiters that I am currently working while applying. She soon after messages me saying the typical "she's not interested and she's in a better place now". It blew my mind how someone I thought so highly of was just another superficial woman. I wasn't even trying to get back with her since she was in med school on the Caribbean.
Well fast forward a couple years. I tripled my networth in one year and doubled it the next. I landed a huge opportunity in upper management at the capital markets division of a big 5 bank in Toronto after whoring myself out with underpaid consulting roles. She must've heard through the grapevine becsuse she started viewing my profile again, and eventually hit me up on some "you were my first love and the bf who treated me the best, and I just want to apologize for everything and say I really would like to get to know you again" shit. Ignored her. And now I get bday, new years and Xmas texts from her.
I do think there are good women out there, they're just rare. Women these days are raised so poorly to be so superficial as they are, they lack accountability, maturity and compassion, and they're fickle when it comes to relationships and ideas of loyalty and honor/shame. Like even when I landed this role, there were women who I was completely platonic friends with prior to the role, who began inviting themselves over to my condo for drinks and openly flirting when I landed this role. What kinda shit is that?
This whole experience taught me that you need to consistently be on your a game to garner respect and care from women. Working out, making money, being well dressed and groomed, and staying focused on what makes you successful will always guarantee you women. From there you vet out the ones who are worth building with. But you have to recognize what they're initially attracted to.
studentsensei 5y ago
You know I don't want to bring up race but I have to ask since we're both black (I assume), but what is your background?
I raised in the city dirt poor and I listened to a lot of rap growing up. I always idolized rapper's lifestyle because to me it meant freedom. It didn't mean I wanted to be "rich", I just wanted to be the master of my life.
It's hard to be "blue pill" listening to songs like "Shawty Wanna Ride Wit Me," because it's a gold mine of truth. Rappers talking about stealing and fucking your bitch is a real thing, and you have to learn to not love these hoes.
I used to be treated so well at school when I had money to buy things from vending machines, but like shit if I didn't. I once wrote a chick a poem once in middle school and she showed it to her boyfriend and he beat my ass. I would also like to add that I was 4'10 in the 6th and 7th grade.
I learned real quick that the lyrics I were hearing was true even after we moved into the suburbs. Bitches ain't shit, niggas ain't shit, you will get got if you don't learn the game, period.
Rap teaches you the game, it's deeply embedded in our community, but so many people choose to ignore it.
I once dated a chick in high school that had a boyfriend that went to a different school. When she told me that she had a man I literally said verbatim "FUCK your man" and she laughed. I used to play fight with her in class, slap her on her ass, and treat her however I want. Then she broke up with her boyfriend to go to prom with me.
Everything you need to know in life you can find through Hip-Hop. You know the game. Study it and apply it.
tunsku 5y ago
I'm laughing at these nig nogs clinging on to the only tiny fragment of music that constitutes their "culture". Hip Hop only exists to make money.
studentsensei 5y ago
Hip-Hop is a part of the music industry and the music industry's primary goal is to make money. The point is that the people that make the music have been dispensing red pill truths for decades and those of you who are just now discovering these truths are behind the curve.
bigkyrososa 5y ago
I'm black and yup, I was red pill before I even knew red pill existed due to hip hop. I grew up idolizing guys like Dame Dash, Jay Z, Cam'Ron, 50, Master P, Ghostface, etc. People who would be considered the definition of 'toxic masculinity'.
SlayOfCourage 5y ago
Got any recommended playlists?
Gr0o0vy 5y ago
as Bill Burr said "women wait by the finish line" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctU7P14dS98
Ruthieovertherainbow 5y ago
Please excuse me while I tell it how it is, growth comes from being challenged.
Doing a lot of nice things for someone and then thinking you are owed perfect love in return just isn't the way it works. It's like a little kid giving a classmate toys in an attempt to win their friendship. Things are nice, gestures are nice, but they just add to something that is already real. They are not a substitute for the real thing. The real thing is RARE, that's what makes it so special. Your still young, I would guess around 24/25 from your story, and not many people have met the perfect person for life at your age. Your attitude towards women is going to end up a self-fulfilling prophecy. You come across as being bitter that you are so perfect yet you cannot find true love. The bitterness shows that you are not in the right place to attract a healthy relationship in your life. You sound to be intelligent, attractive and successful, and of course you will have more women interested in you because of that, but somewhere, in there, amongst all that superficial interest will be someone whose soul connects with your soul. She might be the same sort of person as you, fed up with attention and seeking something meaningful. But if and when you do find that, do nice things for the person out of the kindness of your own heart, not expecting undevoted loyalty in return. If at any point you start feeling worse because your efforts are not being reciprocated, and are being taken for granted, then just stop doing it. Work on developing a pma towards women, and you might just get what you're expecting.
bigkyrososa 5y ago
The best jokes write themselves LOL
You're extremely off target here and part of that is due to how I articulated my story, and part of it is your own cliché assumptions. I have dated women before and after her. I have never wanted to spoil any other woman that I've dated on the level of this particular ex. And no, I never expected anything in return whenever I do something for someone. I wasn't raised to.
The point on loyalty isn't about this ex. She was never disloyal. I'm talking about other women in my past and experiences I've heard or observed from friends.
Story Time: One in particular was a girl who crushed on me in the past who took the same course as me back in my undergrad. We used to study together in the library. She had a boyfriend that she was planning on proposing to if he didn't by a particular time. And there were several times where she slurped up my kids in my car and would later to post a pic with her bf on IG as her #mcm or a relationship-y picture. One time he picked her up right after we finished, and we're just chilling on campus, and she kissed him on the mouth when she hopped in his car (the type of dumb shit women do to signal to their bf that they're not cheating on them with a male friend). Dude was a complete sucker and honestly that shit opened my eyes to how sick people (ex. the girl) are.
Ruthieovertherainbow 5y ago
You came across as talking as though it's your natural instinct to want to spoil someone, but now you think nothing of women as they are all superficial bitches, and that you are not going to waste your time on them because they are all deserving of your disgust.
Who knows, maybe all the women you have come in contact with are one dimensional and only looking for somebody to prop up their image and give them a good life. Maybe they don't really have much interest in you as a person. However, I can only speak from my own experience, and I haven't had a single friend who fits your description of what a typical woman is. None of my female friends online are like that either. I'm not like that.
Regardless of this, success is attractive to people. My ex who I was with for 14 years spent much of it living on handouts from his mother, and I had little respect for him for not wanting better for himself. As much as I am mildly disgusted by lack of ambition, I am attracted to success. Of course people find success attractive, along with drive, passion and charisma... these qualities often leads to excellence which is reflected by a higher wage. And passion and intelligence are sexy! Who would you be more attracted to, a deadbeat woman working part time in a cafe wearing battered shoes with a bad haircut, or the same woman who is a successful interior designer and is making money and looks prettier as she has the means to take care of herself? Let me remind you these are both the same people. Of course you will want someone who you are proud to introduce to people you know, so that when they ask her what she does for a living, you won't want to sink into the ground. Of course you will prefer someone attractive, because we are visual creatures, attracted to youth, symmetry and health.
bigkyrososa 5y ago
I never said 'all women' and I have never called women bitches. In OP, and my other replies here, I even state that I think good women do exist. You're clearly not reading and you're adding your own spin to things here.
And, I have heard all of this before, and I have seen it go out the window when an opportunity with a guy with paper shows up.
Ruthieovertherainbow 5y ago
So what percentage of women do you consider to be basically whores then?
A good friend of mine went on a few dates with a well know sports player. He was interested, she wasn't despite having a working class background.
I wasn't interested in a guy who was pursuing me despite him earning a lot in the city. Then I went and briefly got infatuated with a guy who basically worked for free in a band. Neither were the right person for me. You cannot choose who you get feelings for. And people do get genuine feelings for each other. Love is a real thing, google it :)
WOLFY-T 5y ago
Very real. I always intuitively knew this, that's why I stay in my zone towards greatness. Not into chasing women that chases anything that reflects money anyway.
Vikingcel 5y ago
The take away here is that when you're model hot, you can act like a total cuck and still get ez ass.
bigkyrososa 5y ago
the world does open up to you if you're attractive. i won't deny that.
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and we all come from humble beginnings.
redvelvet_oreo 5y ago
LOL Jesus women really check dudes LinkedIn now at days? For fucks sake.
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jetsdude 5y ago
I relate with a lot of your story. Good for you for turning things around and focusing on yourself.
tunit50 5y ago
Good to hear you made the comeback man keep it up thanks for sharing.
nicktesoriero 5y ago
Respect man, keep working hard
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flapjacksrbetter 5y ago
Did u hatefuck her? Lmao. Eh thats a waste of time. Just block her number
bigkyrososa 5y ago
nah just ignored and haven't seen her since the break up.
​
why even go down that route when she showed her true colors and i pull way better looking girls now? they need to put my jersey up on the rafters some day.
Hegend1999 5y ago
It is researched when a male is in desperation, or in "broken mode" like you were that kind of vibe REALLY unattractive to women. And I can kinda understand that from an evolutionary perspective. But from a man's perspective it seems like betreyal when women react like that. It sucks, but at least she was honest. It's much better then pretending to be kind and understanding(acting) meanwhile in her head she's cursing you as a spineless, useless man who can offer her nothing.
bigkyrososa 5y ago
Oh well, like Future said: we put that bitch in rotation.
conquersex 5y ago
I read your story and liked it a lot. I have a different background but I was also a hopeless 'lover' who would pedastalize women to goddess status; I wasted most of my university years doing this. What I feel sad about after reading your post is that even though you seem to have realized that women are superficial and fickle, you are still chasing their respect and care.
I'm not asking you to be celibate (although that is the greatest option IMO) but why don't you go your own way? (MGTOW). Sooner or later you will become attached to a woman and marry her, or let her get close enough to you (more than a plate) to the point where she'll be able to hurt you financially, emotionally, or even physically and then you know what happens. Money goes, cops come, life is ruined.
From what I read you seem to have gone through a huge slump, pulled yourself out by your own sweat, blood, and tears, and now have made yourself into something you can be glad of. Why do you want to leave this vulnerability open? Imagine spending your time with someone who sees you as a walking pleasure-pole with a bunch of $$ sticking on it. What kind of 'respect and care' are you expecting from these creatures?
I'm not sure if I can link to posts on other subreddits. If I can, someone let me know, and I'll link some disaster stories from the MGTOW subreddit which will wake you up really fast. Also a religious perspective on women's reality. PM me if you want those links. My life has completely changed the moment I cut off women completely from my life, started avoiding their association like the plague, and tried to rise beyond base pleasures and find out what being a man really means. I used to be a drug addict, and a porn addict and your life's part where you dug yourself into a hole using intoxicants really resonated with me as I too tried to block out reality using them. But now I've turned all of it around and I feel better than ever. Seriousy, PM me if you want some unsolicited advice on how to take your personal state of being to the next level.
P.S - Check my account's comment history and submitted history and you'll find some religious comments and articles about sex, celibacy, and women if you search a bit.
EDIT : I have a hunch that many subscribers to this subreddit will cry about me suggesting this man to lay off girls and go MGTOW but if that's all you have to say, please don't bother commenting. My advice is for this man and others like him who have realized the shallow, vacuous, and shifting nature of girls. Others who still want to tango with fire, go ahead. It's your neck (and dick) on the line.
bigkyrososa 5y ago
MGTOW is corny man, and full of losers who would rather go fishing than get laid. I would never associate myself with them. They literally assume either all women are the same, or the quantity of poor character women is so high that the risk of getting manipulated and fucked over by one is too high to even make dating worthwhile. living life in fear is not a good way to live life. i would much rather game the system since i understand exactly what women want. and, most importantly, i have met tons of women who are exceptions to the rule (like i said, they're rare).
​
I'm not chasing anyone's validation because i understand that at the end of the day it's all temporary. a man's value in society is attached to his output, and if that output falters, his value goes down. Also, its foolish to deny the importance and value of a sufficient support system (which every successful person has). what i subscribe to instead is 'happy life, happy wife' (the sequencing is important). look at dudes like Kevin Hart, Kobe, and Jay Z. if you put yourself first and you're highly successful, your girl isn't going anywhere, even if you cheat on them. and even if she does, you'll still have your shit together to easily move on.
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my experiences changed me. i always hold people (including myself) accountable now, and i never make excuses for bullshit or fuckerey. this is key to avoid getting fucked over by women/people in relationships/friendships because ignoring red flags is the number one reason why dudes get jammed up.
conquersex 5y ago
I thought AWALT was a core tenet of the red pill philosophy.
It is. I don't need to prove it - there are countless horror stories - false rape accusations, false abuse accusations, crazy ex'es etc.
There's always a man who can (and in many cases will) out-chad you if the circumstances are right.
You might not escape unscathed every time.
I won't argue with you if you think MGTOW is people who are living in fear. Removing something negative from your life is not fearing it, it is simply optimizing resources to achieve maximum happiness. We have a limited amount of time and energy and we choose to spend it wisely. PM me if you are even slightly interested in becoming free of women. Good luck.
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
OP hasn't seen jail time for a false rape accusation, or had half of his life's work taken away in a divorce settlement. Hey did you know that in some states now, a domestic abuse accusation is an automatic arrest and charge?
While women will get anxious over every nightly news horror story thinking it could happen to them, men will think they are different, they would do things better than the next guy. It's a common narcissism and part of the reason men are the natural risk takers.
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conquersex 5y ago
Also natural recipients of 'bad luck'.