Throughout most of my undergrad I was in a long term relationship with someone I met in first year. This person was the first person I truly loved. I did date before her but this girl had me sprung. It's important to note that I had a very simpy outlook on women and relationships at this time. My female role models, like my mom, instilled in me that women are God's gift and should be cherished and worshipped since they are the ones who endure pregnancy, give birth, etc you know where I'm going here.

Well I was always that guy in university that everyone had high expectations for. I was in a great program at a prestigious school, and I had solid grades, and a great work ethic that I exercised everywhere (including my passion for body building, pun intended). Everyone expected I'll be that guy who gets his MBA and ends up making 200k a year. I also did a few (legitimate) modeling gigs (not instagram shit) so I would say that I'm good looking. I don't want to sound cocky but I'm setting up the story here. Oh yeah, I was one of those simps who believed in spoiling your girl with gifts and attention. Basically I was the poster child for the ideal boyfriend for women.

Fast forward to my final year. We break things off cause I begin to realize I'm the guy pulling the weight while she got increasingly lazier and entitled to what I provided her in terms of attention, support, love, gifts/surprises, etc. I realized I kinda had some part in this because I created this high expectation of myself to her that I had to constantly meet in order to keep the relationship happy.

Shortly after this I enjoyed my time being single for the first time in a while and got to fuck women who were waiting from the sidelines for me to end my relationship with my ex.

Got to realize how superficial these women were. They didn't give a fuck about me, they only cared for who I was in terms of image and how they would look next to me. Of course this made me miss my ex cause I saw her as someone who actually gave a fuck at one point.

Probably 3 months after the break up, a string of bad luck hits my life. Won't go into too much detail but I'll explain a few things for context. Two family members who raised me as a kid (grandparents, since I grew up poor and both parents had to work full time) passed away abruptly, my crew of my closest friends broke up because 2 guys went to jail for fraud and drug trafficking (one guy fled the country when he realized it was getting hot and was later tracked down in Australia). Also, this fuck nigga friend I had was drunk driving another friend's car and scrapped it against my car while I was sitting in it pre-ing with a couple friends before a party and was able to pin the blame on me even tho my car wasn't moving. I refused to pay for damages since I didnt do it, but that guy had more pull in the group due to being one of those phony nice guys and got me exiled from my friend group. My little sister tried to commit suicide twice. And a bunch of other shit too. I started binge smoking weed and drinking to mask all these feelings of loss and disappointment because I really had no one to talk to about these things. I lost my support system, and started to get lonely. I stopped working out too since I lost passion for it. Things got worse when I lost my job after the company restructured and things at home got worse.

It got to the point where I was down and out. Other friends I spoke to just figured I would eventually just 'get over it' or 'figure it out' since I was pretty much bulletproof during school. I started cutting these people off. I started cheating on women i was dating because I knew they didn't really give a fuck about me. And essentially I dug myself into this hole of loneliness and depression. Matters got worse when I couldn't land a real gig after graduating and was working random jobs to make money. Eventually I became homeless cause matters at home got really bad.

Well this continued on for some time and I became increasingly more desperate for a real connection with someone I care about and I reached out to that ex because I still kinda blamed myself for spoiling her. I sent her a new message saying I really need someone to talk to since my life has fallen apart and I have no one to go to. I couldn't believe what happened next. I got a notification on my phone that someone viewed my LinkedIn profile, and I saw that it was her. I put those random jobs that didn't pertain to my degree on my LinkedIn to show recruiters that I am currently working while applying. She soon after messages me saying the typical "she's not interested and she's in a better place now". It blew my mind how someone I thought so highly of was just another superficial woman. I wasn't even trying to get back with her since she was in med school on the Caribbean.

Well fast forward a couple years. I tripled my networth in one year and doubled it the next. I landed a huge opportunity in upper management at the capital markets division of a big 5 bank in Toronto after whoring myself out with underpaid consulting roles. She must've heard through the grapevine becsuse she started viewing my profile again, and eventually hit me up on some "you were my first love and the bf who treated me the best, and I just want to apologize for everything and say I really would like to get to know you again" shit. Ignored her. And now I get bday, new years and Xmas texts from her.

I do think there are good women out there, they're just rare. Women these days are raised so poorly to be so superficial as they are, they lack accountability, maturity and compassion, and they're fickle when it comes to relationships and ideas of loyalty and honor/shame. Like even when I landed this role, there were women who I was completely platonic friends with prior to the role, who began inviting themselves over to my condo for drinks and openly flirting when I landed this role. What kinda shit is that?

This whole experience taught me that you need to consistently be on your a game to garner respect and care from women. Working out, making money, being well dressed and groomed, and staying focused on what makes you successful will always guarantee you women. From there you vet out the ones who are worth building with. But you have to recognize what they're initially attracted to.