Hello, Baba G here. I just received an e-mail from Avery Hayden in which he wrote about two different mindsets; a scarcity mindset and an abundance mentality. These types of mindset are the direct opposites of eachother. So, how are these types of mentalities important relative to being yourself?
Bluepilled you
If you’ve ever been bluepilled, or are at the moment, I’ll take my bets that that didn’t prove out to be successful. Bluepilled men are the result of indoctrination of generations of feminism. As most of us here know, as a man you must recognize her actions and not her words, but because the type of communication that men conduct, the general man assume that we must recognize her words as well. Because men are true to their words, men, in general, assume that female communication works the same. Men who realize that this isn’t the case will be the ones to get the women in the end. Women aren’t to blame for this, however, because this is the result of human evolution; women evolved shit-tests, to be able to filter out the shitty genes. Unlucky for women, with the redpill toolkit, every man can technically pass the filter of shitty genes. This is why women dislike redpill; women want to be special relative to their competition, if they are the only ones who can get the man with the body and cock of the Rock, they can brag about it and they’ll be at the top of the social hierarchy that women compete in. While at it, I’d just like to point out that feminism is a thing, not because men treat women badly but because women treat women badly, but because they’re solipsistic they won’t recognize what they do to each other hence they blame men. The women who have too low SMV will put the blame on men - women with low SMV doesn’t necessarily have to be ugly, they may possess a low SMV based on how shitty their personality is. I’ve seen tons of cases where hot women convert into crazy cat ladies, and this is because feminism is radicalizing them and mindfuck them so bad that they freely choose to climb down the ladder of SMV, hence the conclusion that women and not men are bad for women.
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Female nature
You might think right now, what has this to do with being yourself? It has EVERYTHING to do with it; women in their nature are insecure due to their competitive nature amongst eachother. Women, no matter how many guys they have drooling after them, will always question their looks, because they know in their whole source code that the wall is a real thing, and when they pass the wall is a gray zone which is the sole reason for why women, no matter what age they are, almost always see their own flaws as dominant traits and can’t see their beauty as a whole. Because of this insecurity, women project their flaws, hence why most of them are full of gossip and shit. Speculatively, this would be the reason why women, in general, are against prostitution; because they don’t know where they’d fit on the market, i.e. how much money their bodies are worth, it gives them a bad feeling, and because women are feeling-based thinkers and not logic-based thinkers, they’ll in most cases not realize their bodies’ true potential.
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Your role
What you need to do is NEVER to question what a women feels when she’s around you, because this’ll give you a scarcity mindset. What you need to do is assume that she wants you to tube feed her with your plumber gear, because that’s what SHE wants you to assume. She wants you to be so down to earth and confident in your actions that whatever she does won’t affect your emotions (Read: Stoicism, newcomers). Basically, you have to be so true to yourself that you view yourself as a king with no restrictions, and live that way. Every girl won’t sleep with you, and that’s an objective truth; not every girl will ever like you, and I’d argue that it’s nearly impossible to sleep with every woman in the world (3,5 billion women?). You probably understand this logically, but even though it is nearly impossible to sleep with every woman in the world, you want to have your mindset as if you CAN sleep with ANY woman you want, whenever you want. If you assume you can sleep with any woman you want, you’ll become more selective; you’ll become the price. By being more selective, pussy won’t control you as easily. By becoming the price, you suddenly become interesting. None that has entered a competition has ever settled for last. Every competitor wants to win, but few possess the mentality of picturing themselves as if they’ve already won. This is what differs boys from men, losers from champions. If you want to be the best, you have to convince yourself that you in fact ARE the best. Doesn’t matter if that is true to an objective reality, because you live in a very subjective reality and relative to you, you might be the best there is. Chant this mantra, and you’ll soon enough see success in women and other parts of life. Summarized, always assume the best outcome for yourself in anything you do.
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In closing
Being yourself is bad when you have a scarcity mindset; by being yourself while having one, you’ll only pedestalize pussy more, and you’ll appear as if you’re desperate. This is because your actions are based upon what you believe SHE will like. This is something that is generally considered unattractive among women, and this is fairly well known among redpillers. What you instead need to do, is to base your actions upon what YOU like. This is where “being yourself” is good; if you act based on what you want to do because you want to do it, you’re being yourself concretely. You do what you want, not based on what you believe someone else wants you to do, but because you want to do it. See the difference?
Women love men with a clear path and vision. The female rollercoaster goes insane when a man she admires tells her what to do and takes command. If you can show her that you know what you want to do because you enjoy doing so, she will enjoy whatever that is as well; as you know, female rational thinking isn’t all too evolved, and because of this she can’t too easily rationalize what it is that gives her emotions a rollercoaster ride - this is where you as a man come in. You can rationalize for yourself what you yourself find funny to do, and under the premise that she admires you, she will pedestalize your rationalization, hence her emotions will go apeshit and you’ll have a new plate.
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EDIT: I've realized that my title phrasing is incorrect, but I'd like to elaborate how I thought and I'll use myself as an example.
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If I'm to say this myself, I'm a pretty genuine guy; in most of my social interactions, I just want people to have a good time and feel good about themselves. Because of this, I pedestalized pussy; I had the mantra "I'm looking for the right one" in my head, or I atleast thought "I don't want to settle for anyone" and this effectively led me to never escalating with tons of women who were dying to have my; since I didn't want any of them, I didn't show that type of interest, I was just genuine and I was probably viewed as a some (purple pilled) combination of AF/BB. Whenever I did find a potential LTR, I overinvested, became attached, ditched and heart broken. Long story short, after I've learned a lot of redpill theory and loads of other psychology factors, I've actually have had a change of heart. Since the truth pill is bitter, my persona has changed a bit. I'm not genuine in the same way anymore, it's not that I'm not genuine but because I'm coming closer to a total realization of how women work (people in general tbh), I've realized that my old type of genuinity isn't sustainable. For this, I literally had to have a change of heart. This is where my thought of "how being yourself" popped up; basically, I was myself before, didn't work, I gave it a considerable amount of thought and came to some realizations. Because I grew and learned from my experiences, I can therefore argue that I'm "being myself".
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However, after another bit of thinking, I realized how my title phrasing isn't correct due to this; I may be myself in my head 100%, but one is never truly oneself in social interactions because firstly it's simply impossible, I could never expose myself completely to someone under the premises that semantics and time are too limited, but those aren't the sole reasons as to why one SHOULDN'T "be yourself", in 95% of all social interactions.
People can like you for various reasons, but what people love most about you is your uncertainty. When you're a mystery, people get emotional reactions from thinking or interacting with you. For this reason alone, you don't want to reveal everything about yourself (i.e. "be yourself") because most people think higher of you than what you can deliver, when revealing your mystery people often get disappointed with reality.
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I believe there are ocassions where men can truly be themselves, however, and that is in manospheres. With men on your level of thinking with similar reasoning, you can explore the depths of yourself; I believe every man should find other men to which they can expose themselves completely, because by doing so you can get other men's perspective on whether your thinking is conventional or not, or you could perhaps help other men attain conventional thinking. Also, remember to stay true to yourself; even if you can't display yourself completely, i.e. be yourself, you should always respect yourself. If someone is disrepectful and you don't do anything about it but are bothered by said behavior, you're not respecting yourself. Speak up for yourself, state your thoughts and opinions and don't be affraid to do so
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The title should probably be something like " How changing your mentality can go from drying pussy out to giving water to Africa"
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INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Your edits start to get a bit confusing, and look a little like you were thinking as you wrote, and couldn't quite get a succinct point.
The stuff before is great. I hugely believe that once you have changed yourself, taken on knowledge, reflected, grown, swallowed the pill, 'to be yourself' is the aim, the 'full circle' so to speak. I do continually work towards NEVER doing something because I think it would be what SHE wants. That involves bullshit PUA tricks, tactics, scripts, bullshit. Not to 'be alpha', because she wants as Alpha. Not to 'act high value' because she wants high value, etc.
But to truly, authentically act on my my best interest, with my confidence in who I am, and honestly present myself to everyone, because I am a prize. Utterly non-needy for anything to go a certain way. Yes, many won't be receptive. We're not made to gel with everyone. To welcome that, and not hermit away trying to discover more ways to avoid rejection. To know in every way that I am a king, and that kind of authentic display has ALWAYS gotten me the most attraction. That's a level of trust in oneself. No longer changing to be what we think others want. Being us (new and improved), and knowing the right ones will reciprocate.
Hell, I'm more interested if what SHE does is along the lines of what I look for.
Your stuff at the end about maintaining mystery and such, should be part of your authentic display as you integrate it into your natural 'skill set'.
Overly revealing yourself is a mark that you're approval seeking, and still needy. Really, why would a healthy man feel the need to reveal everything about himself? Hell, this is about me qualifying her.
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donkeydodo 5y ago
I agree with you 95%; I don't think I can be fully myself if I can't reveal literally EVERYTHING about myself - in my POV, it doesn't have to be needy or approval seeking, it can just be honesty for what it is worth; if overly revealing yourself is a mark that you're approval seeking, then revealing anything about yourself is a mark of approval seeking thus every interaction would literally be needy.
I don't think this'd be possible in a man - woman relationship; our biology are too different in nature. I do, however, believe this is possible in manospheres as stated; some of my closest friends, I can literally reveal my darkest secrets about myself - what they do in turn is helping me (d)evolve these, so that I can overcome them and become a better person
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As my edit also stated, I believe a relationship benefits from mystery. I believe the healthiest relationships are the ones in which your SO can always be surprised by you - not surprised as a surprise party, but rather a trait, opinion, something you like etc. Once something becomes predictable, it becomes boring.
This summarized pretty well what I meant with my edit; since it is entirely impossible to actually reveal everything about yourself, you should reveal things about yourself as one plays poker. Play it smart and you'll win
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INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
I guess I'm thinking about it in the context of a guy who tells all during the initial first few dates, or the approach.
IMO, if a guy is revealing all, there is usually a motivation behind it. He wants her to think he's a really honest guy, or he wants her to think he's genuine, or wants her to approve of his life and who he is.
There just isn't a need to 'tell all' other than some sort of neediness behind it.
I agree that you should tell bits and pieces, and maintain mystery. That's both a combination of knowing effective red pill behaviour, and also healthiness. Why would I reveal a shit ton about myself to someone I barely know?
I guess the end point, is yes be yourself. All of the effective red pill stuff a guy needed to work on should become part of who he naturally is.
Kakieng 5y ago
Bro you aren't red pilled, you are just obsessed with getting pussy, grow up already, how old are you, 21? Pfff you are not red pilled.
donkeydodo 5y ago
Care to elaborate? Pussy is overrated imo
Kakieng 5y ago
You post is about drying pussy and flooding pussy.
Being red pilled isn't about getting laid, redpilled is seeing though the guided narrative bullshit. For instance being red pilled woukd be supporting gun rights because you see through the leftist bull shit.
Redpill is not an actual pill that makes your dick hard.
donkeydodo 5y ago
So, you're telling me what I already know; this post serves as something to be taught by, for me and for others. I don't get where your frustration comes from
Kakieng 5y ago
Because you posers make it about getting laid and pussy when its about rights and truth.
donkeydodo 5y ago
Well, redpill isn't about sleeping with women per se, it's about becoming the strongest version of yourself as a man. Doesn't mean it's unnecessary to learn social psychology and how to handle yourself in female company
Kakieng 5y ago
No the fuck its not, its nothing to do with interaction with the other sex.
You all are ill informed posers just trying to get laid.
donkeydodo 5y ago
I think MGTOW is what you’re looking for
Kakieng 5y ago
No, you idiots are sadly ill informed, women can be red pilled.
Red pilled is not being attractive or getting laid or cucks or being the manliest man possible. Red pilled is a political spectrum leaning towards the right thats based in truth.
How can you be redpilled on gun rights if being redpilled is about getting laid, you people are fucking retarded.
How can you be redpilled on the gender pay gap when its about being the manliest man you can be?
You people have no idea what it is you are speaking of.
You are just a bunch of white knights.
donkeydodo 5y ago
Man you’re projecting traits onto me that I don’t even have. You don’t know jack shit lol, yet you assume so much; you’re not redpilled, even if you think so
redpillschool Admin 5y ago
How being yourself gets you laid.
Step 1: Change yourself.
I'm going to leave this up because the post isn't terrible, but I cannot stand the use of platitudes and the "be yourself" in the title is misleading.
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donkeydodo 5y ago
You made me think a bit, read my edit and see if you agree!
DreamExpedite 5y ago
I agree with the mod of the subreddit that taught me most of the social knowledge I now possess, but to add, I believe that being yourself includes changing and improving yourself because as humans, we have an innate desire for progress. Self acceptance is also included in being yourself, but it isn't the same as staying the same, self-acceptance is accepting that you're shitty as of this moment, because you are and that's the truth and being yourself means accepting that truth and also striving for change.
As a side note, I appreciate you- the mod, because every post I see, there's one of you correcting it, banning it, commenting on it.....helping us. Thanks man, and have a good day!
zyqkvx 5y ago
Mini opinion piece:
"Be yourself" is a permenently destroyed expression. Trying to rebuild it with newer, better meaning is just confusing, and non productive. Leave "be yourself" as the failed plague it is to be referenced only as a notion of failure.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
You eventually have to be yourself. If you're not, what are you trying to be? To not be yourself, is pretending, faking and impersonating.
There is a process where growth and evolution must occur, but it MUST end in being yourself. Nobody, especially women, is attracted to someone whose behavior isn't actually organic from who they are.
zyqkvx 5y ago
There is no self. You make yourself. That bowl haircut isn't god's decree. I think what you are talking about is congruency. Yes, you (er, I) want to be congruent. Being congruent and non-petty puts me in easy street in many ways. but I rant
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INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
It's an interesting one, 'being yourself'. Granted, you can shape personality, of course. I guess it's a balance of shaping my personality and expanding for myself, though. My values, and what the person I aspire to be. Rather than shaping my personality to be what I think others would want me to be. Or overly trying to appease that 'one' woman.
DreamExpedite 5y ago
I don't quite understand what you're trying to say and neither do I agree with it, but I'll get back to it tomorrow morning with an open mind when the day hasn't beaten me up yet. Thanks for being alive! I wish you all the best in whatever you might want to achieve in life. BTW, if you don't mind me asking, what is it that you want to achieve in life?
zyqkvx 5y ago
"Be yourself" in a nutshell. Some fat beta goes up to a girl and asks for advice to be a better person. She responds, "Just be yourself." Women are less concerned with facts and truth and more how they look in front of others when saying things. So billy beta walks away thinking "just accept myself as a fat slob."
jah..
ZachMeadows 5y ago
Simple, easy to read, to the point.
Sure there's nothing completely new => make yourself your only mental point of origin.
But the best lessons are always worth repeating.
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Actually I think that most women know that they won't fit in the market at all, and fear the complete rejection of potential mates, even if they would give it freely.
I found that girls that are aware of their beauty will give less intense shit tests and be less of a hard time. Weirdly, the ugly/fat/insecure women are a piece of work. At least where I'm currently living...
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To me it's like men, truly handsome/successful men will be less likely to brag or put others down.
Psychocist 5y ago
This is what finally gave me the bliss I was looking for in everything else. Life becomes so simple when you only listen to yourself and watch very carefully what thoughts you allow from others.
donkeydodo 5y ago
True enough, most backtalk that people conduct is projections and nothing else; for example, a fat woman might bash another fat woman because that woman is fat, i.e. "Omg look at that woman's calves, they're sooo fat", she might say this so it appears as if she's skinnier, because her calves are skinnier (due to genetics). The more a person is in resonance with one's shadow self, the less one will talk shit about other people.
EPArt 5y ago
PERSONA!! sorry couldnt help it, although its weebish the 4th game was all about challenging & accepting your shadow self and being the real you.
Although I remember a time when I was extremely anti social blamed mostly everyone else. But once I self reflected was honest to myself and gave less shits and focus on entertaining myself. All sorts of people gravitated to me more and I found myself having fun and being more positive and way less judgemental.
ZachMeadows 5y ago
And on that note, a good exercice would be to identify what 'triggers' us and improve on that.
If I think a guy is ridiculous for pea-cocking, is it because I'm insecure about my style ?
donkeydodo 5y ago
Indeed. I don't think every backtalk necessarily is a projection, but I think most are. Those who aren't, however, might just be facts about someone's behavior that aren't angled in a way that'll make YOU look like a better person - if I say to a friend of mine "Chad a fucking meathead retard", it's most likely a projection; Chad might have fucked a woman you wanted to fuck, so because his physique and game is better than yours you project outwards to not acknowledge your own flaws. If I'd say "Chad is stupid because he gladly fucks women without a condom" it's can be, but isn't necessarily a projection (same goes for the first example as well). Factually, to fuck a woman without a condom can be pretty stupid; STDs and pregnancy rapes (woman goes pregnant --> keeps it without your consent) and other things is a great risk nowadays as a man. To fuck a woman you don't know without a condom is therefore stupid.
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If I were to guess, I'd say that this would be a projection; why would some other man's pea-cocking bother you, unless you are affraid yourself to conduct said behavior? If he pea-cocks and it works, he's doing something right; instead of bashing someone for pea-cocking, try to see what he's doing that gives him success. A thing I've noticed about bluepilled men is that they've adopted some female qualities; a female quality is projecting out what you're insecure about yourself, onto other who possess the attributes you wish for. For example, skinny guys will in many cases be irritated and annoyed with guys with muscle, because they don't have muscle themselves and they can see how women glance at their muscles and admire them, whereas they don't get the same IOI's and admirations. The only way to change the world is to start with yourself, not the other way around; to fix a broken world, you must first be whole yourself
YourZenemy 5y ago
Wasn't expecting such a fire thread on a Tuesday morning. Well written and much-needed for me.
VisiblePlan 5y ago
Not nessecsarily just be yourself. Be confident in your skin sure, but if you have defeciensies then you should work to be rid of them.
DigitalDragonSlayer 5y ago
Agreed. Be yourself is retarded advice. Detrimental as well.
Be the best version of yourself.
Blackphish88 5y ago
I guess it makes sense women need the upper 5% of men (or want them at any rate) if they're so concerned with 'filtering shitty genes. It'll take a lot of good genes from him to make up for all the shitty ones she's passing on.
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Vikingcel 5y ago
But how do you reconcile behaving like a pussy slaying champion with not actually being able to fuck every woman or most women or even any woman whatsoever.
donkeydodo 5y ago
By adapting a abundance mentality. The reason women can control men so easily is because we're partly very emotional beings as well; we are so obsessed with pussy that pussy controls us, more than we realize (generally). With the realization that "pussy is temporary pleasure", you can rationalize other priorities; if I take myself as an example, I've reached a level of mental clarity that pussy literally means nothing. Idgaf if I fuck someone or nah if I go out, and this mentality alone makes me a pussy magnet; while every dude is drooling at that 10/10 girl, I just look at them, laugh and do my thing. In most cases, these women end up under my arm - because I don't care if she's there or not. I'm there to have a good time, and that is what women see. Women can smell desperate men, they can smell if you're looking at their ass. Look at the ass, but don't drool over it. Realize that there are thousands of asses at the same level, and thousands of asses that are above that. TRP preach non-pedestalizing of pussy because TRP realize that each pussy is just another pussy. I've ditched a whole lot of pussy under the premise that the owner of the pussy is considerably mentally retarded, I don't care if she's a model. My mentality is basically; she may be hot, but is there anything else she can offer me? Most women can't, so my contingent attractions dies faster than it lit up.
Vikingcel 5y ago
I always go out with that mindset. Still an incel.
mattii__mo 5y ago
It's because your attitude and actions are absolutely terrible.
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"I would open her by feeling her ass - Vikingcel"
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\^\^ That's all thats needed to be said.
Vikingcel 5y ago
Elaborate why my attitude is terrible. You can't elaborate on my actions as you have no clue how I act. Just remember to not moralize.
donkeydodo 5y ago
Well, you have to show slight interest as well; in my case, women often view themselves as 'not worthy' of my company (quoted from a couple of women). I believe they think they're too low on the SMV scale, because they apply their own conventional thinking onto men, i.e. "date up". What you need to do is keep your head high, if a woman looks at you, look her in her eyes until she looks away. You can also give women drive-by comments on their looks, something they've done etc. I've noticed that many women I initiate with appear very nervous when I do engage, almost as if they don't want to have anything to do with me. When this happens, I say something short, give them a smile and walk away and talk to other people. 30 minutes later, they're coming up excuses for themselves to 'accidently' stand next to me, eagerly talking to me. Basically, don't show specific interest in anyone, but show women that you're generally interested. You don't want to appear as an easy target, because women loves the challenge, however, you don't want to be too hard either. General kino (push/pull, dread) applied on women giving you IOI's will get them to want you.
Another example is that as mentioned, you want to look as if you're enjoying yourself. When I go out, I always dance - I love to dance. When I dance, I dance for myself alone, and I don't care if people are watching. Women love that; when you're confident while dancing, even if you suck at dancing, you'll get IOI's. What women see is how confident you act, because that reflects your mentality. If you can't act confident, you're not confident, thus they don't want you. Abundance mentality isn't just about women, it's about everything; a true abundance mentality is a mentality in which you do what you want to do, and you don't care what people thinks about it. This type of mentality helps you get a job, build future relationships with people, allows you to "eat more of the cake" and many more things. People admire people who possess abundance mentalities, because they are so care-free that they don't care if people admire them or not. This is the level of mentality one wants to reach. Remember, you don't do this for women, you do this for yourself.
Vikingcel 5y ago
Of course mental gymnastics can help you when you're high smv. If I acted the way I'd want, I'd get kicked out by the bouncer.
donkeydodo 5y ago
Depends on how smoothly you do it. This weekend I went to a rave. Just as I were to turn in my jacket, this random HB8 came up to me and asked me to draw on her shirt; long story short, I ended up drawing 5 dicks on her shirt, I said a huge dick on the inside of her leg would fit her and I ended up drawing a huge dick and balls on her pants, literally drawing on her pussy. Needless to say, most guys wanted her but she went home with me because I didn't give a shit - I drew the dicks because I found it funny, I didn't draw stuff for her. Think of it logically, average dude would have been thrown out for what I did, but because I did it with such an abundance and assertiveness, I made her drip through her pants instead.
Vikingcel 5y ago
A random HB8 approached you, asking you to touch her.
Has nothing to do with how 'smooth' you were. The average dude wouldn't get thrown out, it just wouldn't happen to him at all.
mattii__mo 5y ago
You should real negative. That kinda thinking doesn’t help you, and will bleed through when interacting with others
Vikingcel 5y ago
It doesn't. It's ez to just stay in the moment and enjoy banter etc.
You can't pinpoint anything else, because I'm right. Last resort argument "oh ur negative, ppl are magic and can read ur mind"
mattii__mo 5y ago
No, you’re wrong. I could tell, it shows here dude. You’re whining and not adding anything to the discussion. Get out there and work on yourself-
“If I behaved how I would act I’d get thrown out”
^^ theres your issue. The herd determines how you act is weird, so change it. Don’t know what you would do to get thrown out of a night club, sounds like a personal issue
EvelynnSpoiler 5y ago
Wow, and to think this sub was borderline incel a few years ago. Glad to see you all taking the RSD route
donkeydodo 5y ago
This is what Redpill has learned for years, just expressed with my words :) Glad you view it as RSD!