Hi everyone, I would like to just share a quick story for everyone, I just ran into a friend and as we were talking one of our mutual friends got brought up and he's still a lost cause.
So this story begins in grade 9 in middle/high school depending on where you live, so let's call this guy 'Joe'. I've known this guy since grade 7 and I'm almost 22 now for context, so that's around 10ish years. So Joe is quite honestly an acquaintance of mine but we've always been friendly, I also happen to have a very good friend called 'Brad' that's also a good friend of Joe. So in grade 9, a girl transfers to our school called 'Marie' who is two years younger than us and what I would call a HB6/7 with nice boobs depending on your type but what I would call cute at best.
Let me describe both Brad and Joe real quick. Brad is about 5'11 and about 190lbs I would say and would eventually do both football and wrestling in high school. Even at 14 Brad is already a lot bigger than basically 99% at our school and is just fucking huge just by his genetics. Joe, on the other hand, is about 5'5 and even by grade 7 he was already fat as fuck, I'm talking +200 lbs so it's bad. He's a pretty nice guy but he has self-deprecating humor where he makes jokes about how fat he is and just generally acts in this autistic manner, it's hard to describe but you should know the gist of it. He's also always been a bit of a beta where he lends people money and gives people free shit but doesn't get anything in return except for friendship (?).
Now Brad has always been a player and is already pretty sexually active, so he makes a move and starts smashing Marie quickly, even at grade 7 Marie is already a bit of a hoe lmao. Now since Brad and Joe are basically neighbors, they already hang out quite a bit at Joe's house, since Brad is 'dating' Marie, the three of them spend quite a bit of time together. For Joe, it's love at first sight, and he third wheels Brad and Marie the whole time they 'date' as well as paying for their dates and all that shit, pretty pathetic in my opinion.
Brad only dates/smashes Marie for a few months and then moves on pretty quickly because he realizes Marie is actually really fucking crazy and his a lot of mental and daddy issues. So we get to high school now and Joe has already been friend zoned a long time ago but still insists on spending as much time as he can with Marie, who's now in grade 8, texting and chilling with her when he has time, as well as third wheeling with Marie and her new boyfriend. So throughout our whole time in high school, Joe hangs out with Marie whenever he has the time, and comfort Marie whenever she breaks up with her newest boyfriend. You can see where this is going right?
It gets worse, at this point in time I don't see these guys as much we've all moved on but I try and keep in touch when I can. Around three years ago, I went over to Joe's house for a party and after a few a hours, there only me, Brad, a random guy, and Joe. So we're all pretty drunk at this point and Joe confesses he's third wheeling another couple, even after all the times over these years where we've tried intervening to stop him from getting cucked, he still can't help himself from attaching himself to girls who are already dating. So at this point, he's third wheeled Marie for like 5-6 years, he got a new job where he's friend-zoned by another chick, and before that chick at the new job he got friend-zoned again. See the pattern?
So we've come full circle into this story where I ran into Brad today and we were just catching up with each other. Brad mentions that he and his friends had another intervention about this shit for however many times. So after 2-3 years of not hearing from Joe, he's once again gone back to third wheeling/friend-zoned by Marie again, driving her and her new boyfriend around and buying them and shit whenever. Joe has also graduated from school and now has even more disposable income to waste on Marie.
Let this be a lesson gentleman, some people just don't learn. I was slipping back into some blue pill programming recently but after typing all this stuff out, I would rather kill myself then end up like Joe.
TLDR: Alpha fucks, Beta bucks.
converts_to_ISO 5y ago
For the rest of the world:
Brad:
5ft 11inch ≈ 1,803m
Joe:
5ft 5inch = 1,651m
^(This conversion was done according to ISO80000, the 1893 Mendenhall Order, and the 1824 British Weights and Measure Act.)
^(I'm a human trying to spread awareness about the importance of international standards. Pls don't ban. :'()
BobbyPeru 5y ago
Guys who get chronically friend zoned basically don’t know better because they’ve never had a woman really want them... only
Chad. Brad knows what this is like. Guys like Joe only know the friend zone, and they continue to think it’s their Avenue to getting laid simply because it’s the only avenue they know. They believe time is on their side... it’s not.bakamoney 5y ago
Lack of abundance.
There's that idea that every girl that talks to them will be the last.
Social circle fuckery is also to blame.
The rest of the town probably knows of Joes retardedness by now so no other girl will actually touch him. (In the same circle atleast)
shinywhitedarkness 5y ago
Such guys have such a narrow image of the world and won't break out of it. They don't know better and position themselves into the victim role, because it is comfortable thinking that they are doing everything right and everyone else are assholes. You can't take that magical feeling that they're experiencing away like that.
bakamoney 5y ago
Was a Joe once.
Intervention won't help.
You need a very hard disconnect to fix him.
Think Joe moving to a new town.
I member back in high school I had one it is for this girl.
Literally the entire class told me "This is retarded." In sweeter and harsher words.
Next year I moved out.
I still held oneitis for that girl for like two weeks still.
Thankfully, I wasnt seeing the girl everyday so it died pretty quick too.
But moving out was the only thing that helped back then.
No amount of advice would have gotten me out.
bakamoney 5y ago
Idk what syndrome you call it. But everytime I see a girl I like in a setting where I see them everyday. (School , college , etc) I develop oneitis...
Random girls in streets thankfully don't do much.
Just to complete the story I developed oneitis twice in the next hs. Then again in college within three months after which I quit ( for other reasons).
Anyways no one it is since last three years. Not I am in the bait situation so its not really tested. Started on TRP last year-ish so hopefully it never happens again.
FrancisNevettshire 5y ago
It's scarcity mentality carrying you from one episode of oneitis into another. Not trying to say you're a dumb kid who didn't read the sidebar – it's subconscious ... hear me out. I have experienced the same a few times even while being redpilled, until I actually understood the mechanism as follows.
Low exposure to women in your daily life (for example, because you work in a male-dominated field and you don't waste your free time in bars) can trick your subconscious perception mechanisms into believing that the pool of available women in your tribe is drying up quickly, so you need to find and bind yourself to ANYTHING that has a vag right. fuckin. now. Our brain evolved in an environment where the next group of humans was at all times days and days of travelling removed, except on special occasions meant for women exchange. Even though you rationally know you can at any moment move into another town or another social milieu to meet new women, even though you know there are x million bachelorettes in your nation right now, your subconscious still and all cannot factor this knowledge in in it's assessment of your current position in life. Like when you are about to go on a roller coaster: you know it's safe but you're still trembling.
Understanding it in this way has helped me overcome the emotions when they pop up.
bakamoney 5y ago
You are absolutely right. Its an artificially induced scarcity thing.
I have ignored girls who were interested in me due to oneitis. Lul.
This sub has helped a lot though in changing my shit!
pinlol 5y ago
this evolutionary psychology tidbits are fucking amazing.
the amount of information i was able to internalize while imagining myself as a hunter/gatherer is unbelievable.
largepaycheckaddict 5y ago
Bro, you gotta stop hanging out with losers. Seriously.
Ditch these dudes. They sound like no-life townies who have no direction or drive. Do you wanna spend your leisure time around that? Or around people who are driven to accomplish things?
Best thing I ever did was get up and move to a big city to chase my goals. Not saying you have to go to a big city but chances are your loser cuck friend, the daddy issues slut and the fat lid aren’t going to help you become anything but mediocre.
Psychocist 5y ago
Agreed. I moved to another country and have been monk mode for over a year. It has honestly fixed all of my personal problems. It has also made me realise just how many people are posing. You can tell how serious people are by the sacrifices they make. People talk a lot of shit but they don't quit their jobs or migrate to another city/country or dump their GFs or get rid of bad friends. They make shitty little sacrifices to make themselves feel good.
Trouble is it's difficult to see when you're in the middle of it. Completely displacing yourself is a great way to dramatically shift your perspective.
Nicolas0631 5y ago
Agree. I have that colleague that complains all the time how he doesn't get promoted and he always find external reasons for that.
But he will not simply work more to get the job done for example. He will act like he is really smart, talk a lot, people will resent him and that's it. So he doesn't evolve.
He will explain you it because his previous boss was bad, because he could have gone a better school but prefered another one... But he doesn't work to improve.
infurno8 5y ago
Nah, I haven't seen Joe in person in 3 years now. This all stuff that Brad is telling me, but since I ran into Brad yesterday I just remembered all the shit that Joe has done over the years .
DerpJungler 5y ago
You're right. Being around betas will sometimes affect you as well. But IMO he should sit down and have a quick talk with Joe before ditching him, lay down the fundamentals of changing his life and becoming rational. If he gets it; good, if he doesn't; poor him.
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smokecheck1976 5y ago
You want to know the damnable truth behind it all? Joe will eventually get laid. She may even be a "nice" girl. The one that does that will be able to crack the whip over him for the rest of his life using his access to sex with her to regulate almost all of his behavior. They will grow to resent each other. Hell, even if she moves on he'll be pining over her while some other dude has her tied (consensually) to his bed. If you think you have seen pathetic now, just wait until it happens.
​
He may listen to some sense when he hits that low point. Until then, you will have more success telling a brick wall to not be a brick wall.
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uglynihilist 5y ago
I was really surprised but you just can't help some people. They would not listen to you and even if they do they won't swallow it. I guess just let him struggle.
infurno8 5y ago
Yup, it's been almost 9 years since 'Joe' has met this girl and he's the ultimate orbiter. I haven't heard from this guy in a while and I thought he would finally break out of it, I guess not....
MisplacedSanityP 5y ago
I’m convinced you can only help those who come to you for help. Sure, you may be able to help 1 person out of 100 that didn’t come to you, but the conversion will be low and the pros will far outweighs the cons.
Nicolas0631 5y ago
Let's say it complex and hard to really help people but it can be done.
The real question is if it is worth your time ?
There billion people out there, why help him specifically ?
ex_addict_bro 5y ago
Why would you want to "help" them?
This is EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS.
Being a cuck, being a victim, "third-wheeling", "orbiting"... that's what they want, either they get a kick from being dismissed or playing a victim.
They simply don't know any better world. But there is a better world. As long as you decide to get some help, to get some assistance from somebody who will help you to grow up, you can change those patterns.
At this moment, he doesn't.
bakamoney 5y ago
I think its both.
Its very much a self decided option.
You have to want it.
But again you to let them know there are options.
Afterall that's the point of this sub.
infurno8 5y ago
It's been almost a decade since I've known him, and this guy has been a huge beta for that same amount of time. I'm not sure what it'll take for him to wake up but it's all on him at this point.
7Tomus 5y ago
This is a problem not just among guys but generally. When someone does not want to help himself out of his misery, noone can help them. Other than this example I have talked to some of the girls that I know and they have acquaintances who are single and already 40. So basically their life is ruined because of their inability to reflect on themselves.
As you said, all your friend might need is just stop orbiting to stop self loathing and start putting value to his own time, start lifting to lose fat, get a bit in shape and start receiving free IoI once in a while and probably change the city, since his reputation is probably long gone.
ex_addict_bro 5y ago
Why is it so important for you to have him woken up
infurno8 5y ago
It's really not, I just find it a little sad that he hasn't changed at all.
berlengas 5y ago
offer him No More Mr. Nice Guy and hope him the best
RightHandWolf 5y ago
Taking the pill is a lot like the recovery process from a drug or alcohol problem. A lot of newbies in the process want to start evangelising about it, sharing their insights and appointing themselves the role of "spirit guide" or something.
The cold hard truth is that some people can't be saved. You want to be this guy's lifeguard? Admirable, but ultimately foolish. Unless you are a very strong swimmer, you won't save him; you're just going to drown with him.
krunchtimer 5y ago
I pretty much stopped reading at this line. Brad is a testosterone genetic lottery winner. He'll have a ton of lean muscle compared to everyone else (and more confidence/less anxiety) because that's what testosterone does. If someone were to start injecting Joe with test, he'd give Brad some competition, but realistically no one is going to inject a teen with test unless if by dumb luck he learns about it on his own.
So Brad is lucky to have naturally high test, and Joe will be lucky if he figures out a way to get some and inject it.
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