As I have gotten older I have learned a valuable lesson. If you are waiting to be ready before doing something you may never end up trying that thing. This goes for approaching women, applying for that job, applying for that degree, showing up to that interview, starting that new hobby. I missed out on so many opportunities during my 20's because I was waiting until I was 'ready'.
The real truth is that you will never be 100% ready. Accept this. Remember this. Do not let this stop you from doing that thing you want to do. Ever. The moment I realized this my life changed.
If you are waiting until you are 180lbs 8% shredded to start approaching women you will miss out on so many opportunities on learning and even hooking up and finding someone you like. If you are waiting on your job to settle before starting your new business idea you might never start your business. If you are waiting until you have more experience before applying for a new job you might miss out on the job of a lifetime.
Successful people in this world know this. They don't wait for opportunities to come, they just go out and do and opportunities come to them. Winners take the leap when they are not ready, fall flat on their face, keep getting up until they win.
Real 'alpha' men are not afraid to make mistakes, they are not afraid to take calculated risks, and learn from experience not from reading about other people's experiences. They guy who sits there, reads 100 hours of redpill before he decides to approach women will lose out 100% of the time vs the guy who spends 10 hours reading and 90 hours going out their and doing. The first guy is waiting until he is 'ready' the second guy knows he will never be ready and best teacher is experience.
TLDR: Make calculated risks. Realise in life, no matter how old you get, no matter how many books you read, how many push ups you do, you will never be 100% ready.
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bemore_ 5y ago
It depends who you are as a person but yeah once you go in your head, you will rationalize everything. If you are more thoughtful, you'll benefit from more action than reflection. If you're more action oriented, you'd benefit more from reflection.
It's finding balance between comfort (routine) and being uncomfortable (novelty)
throwitpplaway 5y ago
It really is interesting to know that the majority of the faults we have, WE KNOW, and yet never truly improve.
Like action taking. Entrepreneurship, women, self-actualización and many of the other things that can only thrive by action, we tend to over plan on.
God knows the amount of books and courses I’ve took on business, project management, online marketing, sales and things I have yet never even actually done.
I’ve also noticed that taking action is EASY. It really is, it’s harder to strategize. For example: plan out week workout plan, projected calories/weight goal, etc VS go to the gym, hit big lifts and cut out soda, snacks and sugar. What’s actually easier to do?
My new hurdle is understanding what books/courses to read and take that I can actually utilize right away
wendysNO1wcheese 5y ago
One of the truest things that can be said.
Hjalmbere 5y ago
Only applies to approaching women. If you show up to an interview for a job you are thoroughly unqualified for you may fool yourself you’re an alpha male but in reality you’re just another deluded ass-clown.
Above doesn’t mean you shouldn’t challenge yourself professionally, but don’t try to fly a space shuttle if you never even flown a Cessna.
TLDR; Take calculated risks. Don’t be a jackass.
Xemnas81 5y ago
Can confirm, made me miss out on asking a fellow intern out/give her my no. because I wanted to wait until the MeToo risks were normal. Now she's left.
OfficerWade 5y ago
That part about being 180lbs and shredded really got me, because I’ve reached this milestone and I still find excuses not to approach. Man. What the fuck
kja1810 5y ago
This one's good. Thanks OP
Well_hung_Yakuza 5y ago
This! As my university studies come to their final end, I regret not trying out more things and being even more social. Some of the opportunities there will be gone forever. As I will move to a new city I made a point to try EVERYTHING, as it's not too late to do that, but still, do not make my mistake! Allow yourself to fail, as he who wants to be a master must first be a servant. Ridicule yourself in front of a lot of people while trying something new. It is worth it, and one of the most organic ways to meet a lot of new people and chicks!
Smerdakas 5y ago
Perfect is boring. One of the best chapters from Pook, one of the best things I've read in my TRP journey:
When you see a girl you want to approach, or you are getting cold feet about a date, remember three words:
“Perfect is boring...”
Three words!
“Perfect is boring...”
Your brain will spin out all these reasons why you are unworthy...
“Cheap and wimpy car.” “Poor clothes” “Shortness” “Bad haircut” “No money.” “Not as good looking” “No confidence” “Past failures”
“Perfect is boring!” and watch those reasons evaporate.
TheRedPillRipper 5y ago
Very similar to an old coach’s adage; “Live in fear or live in hope.”
He used to say everyone lives in fear; cause it’s easier. Fear to make that hard run or that tackle. Fear to trust your teammate. He said It’s harder to live in hope; hope you’ll make that tackle or make your runs. Hope your teammate has his man covered and trust him to do his job.
I never really had an issue with living in fear but that coach put it into words that resonated. Don’t fear being unprepared; prepare as best you can and hope for rest.
Jkarl1 5y ago
I just finished a great book titled “Principles” by Ray Dalio, in which the essence is the same as this post. He is the founder of the worlds biggest hedge fund, and he basically stated that the only way to succeed is through failure and reflecting back on your mistakes to improve them. Its a never ending process. It’s a great book and he gives you a great guideline and explanation on the steps to psychologically overcome this fear of failure and to grow.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B9XGUpQZY38
javiercer20 5y ago
Great post.
Perfectionism my balls...
Many women won’t sleep with you. Many of them will find you 0% attractive, doesn’t matter how rich, muscular, successful, how big your social circle is or how nick your dick is. We are talking here about women, the weakest, insecure and most emotionally untestable animals of our specie. You can’t be 100% perfect with them, NEVER.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
So we're all in agreeance...we all gotta keep doing, not thinking.
A mass tidal wave of Red Pill men just rock'n the fuck out.
SaladThunder 5y ago
Man, this hit home for me. As a 30 year old who recently lost his job,car, and found his gf is pregnant.
TIME TO GET ON THE HORSE.
Yougotredonyouagain 5y ago
You spelled "whores" wrong.
nuufo 5y ago
Or... Could it be that YOU are ALWAYS ready.
jshtx2117 5y ago
Success has an action bias.
Thinkingard 5y ago
I am feeling this, not very powerfully yet, but I am feeling it. I am still insecure enough about my bodyfat that I am not approaching women. I just finished Bang and Day Bang and took copious notes and so now I don't have any excuses on not knowing how to approach a female. I'm telling myself since I am successfully losing weight, getting in shape, and will be starting a new job, and because I'm recently separated from my wife, I want to focus entirely on myself (monk mode) before I decide I want to approach women. The next big hurdle will be exiting monk mode once I reach my goals and actually approach women when I'm ready. (I went out to a bar the other night to see how I felt about approaching an attractive girl, and rather than fear the interaction per se, I'd be lying if there wasn't a tad bit of fear, but in my defense she was the only one in the whole bar (tuesday night) but she had an absolute she-beast of a friend clinging to her, and my game isn't tight enough to make that approach), I realized I wasn't over my own marriage yet).
GoingToMakeItBrahs 5y ago
I remember in my young teens I came to this realization. I was thinking about speaking to this girl I liked and made all these justifications not to. Then I stopped myself and realized how fucking stupid they were and that I’ll never actually be ready, but you don’t need to at all. The worst that happens is she says no, who the fuck cares. I’m still me, she’s still her, and I’ve learned more and am more ready after.
trp_nofap_rewire2018 5y ago
This is 100% true. Although I can’t hack my brain to adhere to this. My default modus operandi usually is: write down my master game plan and think of every possible detail before taking action. More often than not this hinders me big time. This happened when I realized I’m pretty much invisible and should do something about it. It sucks, but that’s how I am and it’s been hard to change.
4nt43us 5y ago
It's very rewarding as a man doing something without any plans, having confidence that you can adapt on the spot. We live in a time of luxury where we can sit, plan, predict and reduce error. This is not how the male mind was ever meant to work. It's actually not fun or engaging for men and makes us depressed. Men learn from mistakes. You will be much happier in life if you make calculated risks, plan as little as possible and learn on the spot. You are holding yourself back.
How bad do you want to change into the best version of yourself possible? If you want it bad enough, you will find a way to change.
trp_nofap_rewire2018 5y ago
Thanks dude, you’re right. Great quality post. That’s the sort of material I like to see around here!
TruthSeekingPerson 5y ago
The flip side is that if you don't feel comfortable doing something it's because your instincts are telling you not to do it. Make sure it's something you want to do as opposed to something you think you should be doing. I tend to believe this rule applies to approaching women. Are these women really desirable and worth giving your attention? In most cases the answer is almost certainly no--if they were you'd want to talk to them. For many men the best solution is to let women signal they're interested in you.
looneyniggabunny 5y ago
Thanks, I needed this as I was entering a new phase in life.
foxhound525 5y ago
Meh I think this is only true for those who struggle with strategic implementation. Ive had people convinced I was juicing because I went from skinny AF to muscular within a year, but it all came down to a long term plan, which even now I am still progressing through. The trick is knowing when to move to the next phase and making sure you dont get apprehensive about taking the leap as you approach that time. There are some things that you just have to get on with though. I'm sure there's a law of power related to biding your time and mot executing before the plan is ready too
RinkyInky 5y ago
Yea. People that don’t plan ahead and know when to move on to the next step. Yes you’ll never be 100% ready, but if you’re not at least 60-70% ready your chances of failing will be much higher. Failing isn’t bad, but if you keep failing again and again it’s time to look back and figure out where you’re going wrong. Always slow down and evaluate.
CaptainBW 5y ago
Our Egos often get the better of us. Good post OP, it’s refreshing as I’ve been on the verge of unsubscribing for good. Most of life is a battle between safety and freedom, and though those often intertwine, too many people in general let their soul buckle under failure. Failure is inevitable and unavoidable. Wrestling with Fear is a huge part of Life, and I hope men all over are able to realize it for what it is, and conquer it. When the Ego dissolves, Infinity opens up.
4nt43us 5y ago
Our culture does not promote risk-taking behavior and as such many young and old men a missing out on a big part of life - failure. Man get's depressed when risk taking isn't part of his life. Fear points us in the direction we are meant to go. It shows us areas we need improving in our life. That's why so many trust-fund babies proportionally are on anti-depressents, take a fuckload of drugs and do nothing meaningful with their life because they have never needed to go through fear - everything has always been given to them.
SuperiorConstantine 5y ago
Holy fuck I needed to hear that.
Mr_KenSpeckle 5y ago
Good message. OP’s message is not just about overcoming a negative. Approaching life this way is affirmatively liberating.
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rad_hombre 5y ago
Church.
Perfect is the enemy of the good.
I'm coming into a very similar realization approaching 30.
It isn't about being ready or not ready.
It's about action or non-action.
Engagement vs. disengagement.
Are you doing things in the world and engaging with it, being proactive?
Or are you simply in reactivity– passively accepting and dealing with things as they come your way?
I remember "discovering" this mindset in my early 20s and crushed it for awhile, but subsequently "forgot" about this truth and fell into some bad times. I think people need community to remind themselves of this truth.
It's easy to get worn down in the world.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Makes me think of perfectionism.
It's impossible to pre-plan what's going to happen. Over-reading, over pre-planning is a form of outcome dependence.
You're exactly right, at a point you just have to take the leap. So simple...
B3ER 5y ago
This is my problem for sure. I'm so self critical that I've convinced myself that I need to cover every base before I can do something. The frame is lacking.
fokm 5y ago
The perfect is the enemy of the good.
SUCK_MY_DICTIONARY 5y ago
Yep, it took me a long time to realize that: A) literally nothing is perfect and B) everything can be improved
Things we call perfect are just things that have gone through a lot of trial and error design iterations to where you’d really have to think outside the box to improve them.
So in essence, perfectionism is a total lie and it wastes a ton of time. Improvement is good, but they say “fail early and often” for a reason.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Yep. It's old behaviour,/thinking. That rejection/failure will bring us down mentally.
With the power of abundance, idgaf, rejection turns into a chance to learn and move on.
Fulp_Piction 5y ago
Big hurdle for me to overcome personally, and OP is spot on. An honest attempt at your best is all you can really control in the situation, so failure of outcome isn't really failure, you don't fear it and you hopefully can grind and get better while dealing with the setbacks.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Yep yep. It's only through trying and failing you realise 'hey, this failure ain't so bad'.
Embrace rejection/failure.
rockyp32 5y ago
Yup I’m in that boat I guess it is outcome dependence
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Yeah, it's a bitch. You can analyse it until the cows come home. But more thinking leads to more thinking.
At some point we just have to drop the fuck'n worry about what other people think of us. Take the pressure off. Build some stuff in your life that makes you feel proud of who you are, so the ego investment in other's opinions become less.
You can look at all the negative outcomes we're avoiding, the negative emotions, discomfort. At the end of the day...we just have to walk through it. It's the ONLY way.
Does someone skydiving for the first time, spend a year reading about skydiving to help cure the fear? No, you cure by jumping out of the plane.
X-HeavyBand 5y ago
Paralysis analysis I believe is the term for it.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Yes, perfect. I have to live with the fear of failure and walk through it. Sad part is, so many men will never even get close to that point.
If I get stuck, I just go into inertia. All 'mentally perfectly prepared' for something I never actually DO.
odaklanan_insan 5y ago
So many sperm cells will never even get close to the egg.
VeryTalentedCheff 5y ago
Other way around.
Paralysis analysis= you analize the paralized
Analysis paralysis= you get paralized because of too much analizing.
urosinho10 5y ago
Well I have been analyzing myself and I am kind of paralized by that so...?
hobeezus 5y ago
So it's time for you to cultivate a bias towards action on the things you think are important. The Obstacle Is The Way.
theoctosquibble 5y ago
Overthinking, overanalyzing separates the body from the mind.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Yes, that's huge. Big agreeance on that.
When it comes to approaching women, it's that initial reaction in the body that creates momentum and authenticity.
Stopping to overthink just adds a lot of shit, which she reads.
StolenLLama 5y ago
That's actually a song dude.
Tool-Lateralus
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Ah, cool. Just checked it out.
FereallyRed 5y ago
It's ego protection.
You're afraid of taking this test.
Scares the shit out of you.... "What if I fail?"
So you do what every logical guy does.... you study. And study. And go on askTRP and ask a neverending series of laterally irrelevant questions. And debate the answers. Feels like you're learning and progressing.
Yet you never quite get around to scheduling the test... you never actually go out and try talk to women.
Your frantic little ego hamster is using this excessive preparation as a placeholder for what it is you're actually supposed to be doing.
Because if you're doing something that is even remotely associated with the test material then you can file it away under "preparation" and therefore add validity to your fuckarounditis.
And because this preparation sublimates your anxiety about actually taking the test, it's a worthy substitute to actually taking the test. The hamster spins in it's wheel.
Drilling down, the fundamental issue is your irrational fear... "What if I fail?"
The answer is.... nothing of significance.
And to go all meta on you, it's really not even about the test. The test is not what matters.
You're staring at the finger.
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MrCobs 5y ago
What did you mean "you're staring at the finger"
FereallyRed 5y ago
“Don't think. FEEL. It's like a finger pointing at the moon. Do not concentrate on the finger, or you will miss all of the heavenly glory.”
― Bruce Lee
bookofcookies 5y ago
We think its like maths while it is actually more like playing basketball.
puthiyaaccount 5y ago
Hey, what did you mean ? I don't get it.
bookofcookies 5y ago
Life is like riding a bicycle while juggling 3 balls and playing dodgeball at the same time.
clon3man 5y ago
This go hand in hand with "try everything" "get out of bed early and take action". If you only attempt 1 thing per month then your "waiting for the right moment" is actually justified, fwiw, that's the death cycle, you're reinforcing that perfectionism is important, because it is in the optimal strategy for making sure 1 thing works out.
However, the real game is making sure you attempt 10 things in ways that vary in effort from half-assed to well-executed such that 1 to 3 of those things pan out, every week. This also makes your attempts easier and less anxiety provoking which makes future attempts more frequent... well you know the drill...
diamondiscarbon 5y ago
I see this point brought up repeatedly, and while I acknowledge its truth, I dont understand how I would implement it. For example, I want to start cold approaching, but I am waiting for myself to bulk up a bit more and then cut down to 10 percent bf, the exact scenario mentioned. But that just wouldnt work, as I am a 5'6 average looking male in high school. Actually, Im probably below average rn as I am in my bulking phase, so I am a bit chubby in the face. I feel as if I'd just get flatout rejected by everyone as my smv would be super low. I just want to continue lifting and reading redpill books and top posts until my body is caught up.
However, I am new to this redpill game, so I would appreciate any advice from people who have had similar experiences starting out.
Nicolas0631 5y ago
What are the consequences of failed cold approach to a stranger woman if you fail ?
0 consequences.
What are the consequences if you are successful ?
Getting laid, getting confidence, getting to know a the person.
​
You are not in a small tribe where there only like 5 girls available and failing with them mean that you'll stay single all your life and where every failed attempt will be discussed for years by other members of the tribe.
Nonstopas 5y ago
Approach early, build up confidence and you will stop caring about rejection, and then keep working on yourself, still approaching at some point you will get more success
TruthSeekingPerson 5y ago
You need to trust your instincts. If you feel comfortable approaching someone then do it.
Be careful what you do in school. Cold approaching at school is different than where you won't see anyone again.
The shaming going on in this thread is pathetic. Don't do something you don't want to do because some wannabe meathead on the internet is telling you to. Always be your own person and make your own decisions. Don't follow the herd.
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
Reads post about never being ready. Acknowledges it as truth.
Proceeds to explain not wanting to approach women until SMV is higher.
Well gee man, how can you implement this advice.
Self-improvement/monk-mode is a deep rabbit hole. And it’s a lot more comfortable to just sit on the sidelines and continually tell yourself that you’re not ready yet.
At what point will you be ready?
Hint: Never, as elaborated in the post.
If you want to take some time to focus on yourself and not women that’s fine, but don’t say you don’t know how to implement the advice of this post after you just acknowledged it as truth and proved yourself to be a perfect example.
When you aren’t focusing on women, isn’t that the perfect time to practice approaching? You’re not looking to get women right now. You would like your SMV to be higher. So why not take opportunities that present themselves now and practice.
You said you’re new to red pill game. Taking what you read and putting it to practice is the most important aspect.
diamondiscarbon 5y ago
Thank you for your response, but I'm not sure my question was answered. My issue is that I think I am objectively ugly right now but only due to bulking for six months. I have cold approached before as I love the adrenaline rush that runs through me before and after, but now that Ive gotten chubbier, my confidence is just not there. Confidence is everything, so Im not sure what to take from advice that says just go out there. I know that my smv would be so much higher after my plan of 2 more months of bulking and then a 3 month cut to being shredded.
I guess what I am asking is for advice on if cold approaching is the right move or if I should wait, and what the mindset is to overcome my appearance. And to make a point clear, I'm not trying to make an excuse to avoid cold approaching and fall down the pithole of being in monk mode too long. I have cold approached before and am eager too start doing it on a daily basis.
Jkarl1 5y ago
It’s because you are looking for an easy answer. The answer is: you HAVE to fail to succeed and grow. By “waiting to be ready” and finding excuses NOT to do what you want, puts you in a comfortable spot in which you neither fail nor succeed. The point of the OPs post is most people don’t do what they want because they are afraid of failing, when failing is exactly what you need to embrace, in order to succeed. You will never find the right solution to the problem by not failing. So embrace the pain associated with failing and reflect on your mistakes so you can grow.
You must absolutely cold approach now. The only reason you don’t is because you are scared. Fear is just psychological. The more you approach the less you will fear rejections. Every-time you approach and are rejected, think of what worked and what Didn’t work and improve on what did work. This is the only way! Success through failure.
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
You’re only in high school. College is really the time to cold approach. I just find it hard to believe your confidence has taken that much of a hit from a six month bulk.... must be a dirty bulk
If you really didn’t like your appearance before that bulk, it is what it is. Gotta play with the cards you’re dealt. Looks get your foot in the door a lot easier, but fortunately, looks matter a lot less to girls. What’s really important is your demeanor and the way words are delivered. Learn to enjoy life, find amusement in social interactions, and value yourself above all else.
And join a frat.
RightHandWolf 5y ago
Yes, every man is scared in his first battle. If he says he's not, he's a liar. Some men are cowards but they fight the same as the brave men or they get the hell slammed out of them watching men fight who are just as scared as they are. The real hero is the man who fights even though he is scared. - General George S. Patton
A good plan, violently executed right now, is better than a perfect plan next week. - General George S. Patton
We herd sheep and we herd cattle, but we lead people. Lead me, follow me, or just stay the hell out of my way. - General George S. Patton
HappinessIsYourDuty 5y ago
"The perfect slave" / "cannon fodder"
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Nicolas0631 5y ago
I constantly see that at work, there often opportunities, sometime directly visible (like the boss saying that they look for candidate for that or this job), we have the internal website with literally hundred of internal job listings and nobody prevent you from applying outside of the company.
But when I ask a collegue if he will apply to that manager role, they most often say that they are not ready.
Me I say it is because I don't want it, I want technical job, not managerial, but I am applying to them and actually get promoted.
I can get the not ready stuff when you are a newcomer with maybe less than 2 years experience, but many of theses person have 5 years of experience and more, so why not ? They don't even want to try.
KeffirLime 5y ago
One of the biggest factors holding people back is comfort. They don't really need to do anything so they don't. They want a better life, they have goals, but the consequences for not achieving them is to probably just keep plodding along at an average life.
To get what you want you've almost always got to be willing to risk that comfort. To possibly lose it and step outside of your niche into the unknown.
The reward however is creating something unique, something different, something that represents you. There's few feelings as satisfying as looking back on your authentic accomplishments and the challenges you overcame to achieve it.
NoMoreMrNiceGuy95 5y ago
Comfort is the death of men
rock1987 5y ago
This is beautifully written in David deidas way of superior man - stop hoping for completion of anything in life
RightHandWolf 5y ago
A classic clip that seems appropriate . . .
https://youtu.be/xFntFdEGgws
omega_dawg93 5y ago
the city of houston taught me this lesson... i learned it quick too.
here's what i mean: i was working downtown houston, and if you don't know, it's 'heaven on earth' for meeting good-looking, educated, professional women... they're EVERYWHERE!! i was like, "what more can a man ask for?"
but when i saw a few i wanted to approach, i'd always say, "give it another week... just chill, smile... and next week, approach." but guess what? it would NEVER HAPPEN because the city is just too big & busy, there are too many women, there's not enough time, and you.can't.wait.for.the.perfect.time!!!!
when you see her, you need to act NOW, or you may NEVER see her again... that's what you need to do in a city that big.
_tlex 5y ago
Damn I'm about to move to Houston soon any good spots to game in particular?
omega_dawg93 5y ago
yeah... downtown. lol.
seriously, there's a tunnel system under the streets; that's why you don't see many people walking on the sidewalks-esp in the summer.
there are sports bars, shopping, restaurants, etc., under the streets of downtown houston and as i stated... lovely, educated, professional women in abundance.
_tlex 5y ago
Underground bars? Shits sounds dope as fuck, good looks
RuleTheOne 5y ago
very true, get her now. Even if it doesn't work at least you tried
44361066 5y ago
I -a 23yo feel like I need to have my shit together (reaching my peak) in order to fully attract a beautiful woman who isn’t damaged goods in her own peak smv.
It’s obviously wrong, but I can’t hack my mind to think otherwise. Maybe because despite all the self improvement I’ve been doing my success with women isn’t satisfying.
black_engineer 5y ago
I'd advise to compartmentalize. What's most important to you ATM, the competency at that thing will give you the confidence to do everything else. The 1st thing is to gage whether or not you feel confident on your path in life. If the answer is a complete no, you need to take care of this and forget about attracting women. If the answer is kind-of, you should treat meeting women like a job : you have a schedule, a plan, and a goal.
DerpJungler 5y ago
In order to get your shit together and reach your peak, you need to implement theories and practice in real life. No matter how much knowledge you acquire, it will become useless if its not being utilized every damn day of your life. Im 23 as well, trying to gather as much information, whilst going out and practicing at the same time. Yes, rejection and failure suck, but those are the most important lessons. Go talk to that girl, go apply for that job, go ask that teacher for help, even if you fail, the next time you will do better.
Apfeltee 5y ago
That‘s the wrong thinking. It‘s the process of getting your shit together that is important. Just like stated above, don‘t wait till you get there, which will never happen anyways probably.
yeezusshityall 5y ago
"It's the process of getting your shit together that is important"
Damn buddy you have no clue how much I needed that right now. I feel like I'm working on so many things at once right now I feel like I'll never be where I want to be, but it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. I'll sure be happier once I lose all this weight though.
KeffirLime 5y ago
One of the biggest parts of your SMV is how you engage with women. If you aren't actively working on that you'll fall flat when you finally do.
Think of it as part of your SMV and not something that comes after you raise your SMV.
warlordchad 5y ago
This is exactly right—it’s all well and good to watch videos on YouTube and read pick up blogs, but until you actually get out and do it, that learning isn’t actualized.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
You will never be ready
Putting that in superbold because this post is 100% spot on.
I've seen too many people hold themselves back because they're "not ready" for the next step - especially with business/finance/jobs. Ten years later those same people are still "not ready" - they'd have been better off failing and moving on than waiting and they might have succeeeded.
Throughout my 20's and 30's I'd jump at opportunities I was nowhere near ready for, applied to jobs I wasn't qualified to do, and tackle projects I was nowhere near experienced enough to handle.
This was incredibly successful, I wish I'd applied the same approach to women sooner than I did.
For most men: push harder with women. Escalate when you're 30% sure she likes you, not 99%. She doesn't even know if she likes you until you do. Part of your appeal as a man is that you can fuck women, so she needs to see you try and do this to feel fully attracted.
mikredditor 5y ago
This is a very good point. My biggest successes in all facets of life have always come soon after I’d made a leap of faith. Knowing how to do so is incredibly important. That said, it’s critical that you have a grasp of at least somewhat of what you are planning to do, or you’re just setting yourself up for failure.
Buchloe 5y ago
I think a good way to take uncomfortable leaps is to say "How would I act if I (was confident at approaching women, knew I would get the job, had willpower to quit smoking)" etc. and then act it out enough to where you are confident that you'll at least do the thing, whether you're secretly uncomfortable still or not. And then the comfort and confidence in yourself comes with time.
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33papers 5y ago
Great post. Very true. Do it now, whatever it is that you want, because you will never feel truly 'ready'.
Sallac 5y ago
Nothing gets done on its own. Passivity is not suitable for a man.
yairof 5y ago
We tend to limit ourselves unnecessarily due to society's binary norms. Left or right wing. Weak or Strong. Success or Failure. The mindset should be that its ok to make mistakes and look a fool. A master has undoubtedly failed more times in that field of expertise than all the attempts a novice has made. Growth cannot occur if you do not venture out into the unknown. Like a baby learning how to walk. The falls are inevitable but each new experience gained in the attempt culminate into the creation of the desired skill.
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I think Jordan Peterson says it best:
We might start by considering the all-too-black-and-white words themselves: "Success" or "Failure." You are either a success, a comprehensive, singular, over-all good thing, or its opposite, a failure, a comprehensive, singular, irredeemably bad thing. The words imply no alternative and no middle ground. However, in a world as complex as ours, such generalizations (really, such failure to differentiate) are a sign of naive unsophisticated or even malevolent analysis. There are vital degrees and gradations of value obliterated by this binary system, and the consequences are not good.
To begin with, there is not just one game at which to succeed or fail at. There are many games that match your talents, involve you productively with other people, and sustain and even improve themselves across time. Lawyer is a good game. So is plumber, physician, carpenter, or schoolteacher. The world allows for many ways of Being. If you dont succeed at one, you can try another. You can pick something better matched to your unique mix of strengths, weaknesses and situation.
gabeangelo 5y ago
Of course alphas can be afraid of making mistakes, but they act anyway.
Casanova-Quinn 5y ago
This is an important topic.
I've watched a fair share of interviews with highly successful people (business moguls, high level athletes, etc.) and one the most common similarities I've noticed is a "make it happen, and fix it along the way" mentality. Almost NO ONE who is highly successful started off on a "perfect path" to success.
KV-n 5y ago
This is extremely well put. Exactly what ive been doing when it cpmes to education, work, hobbies etc so far and it all turned out fine in the end. Whatever you do it never turns out as bad as you fear, nor as good as you wish. Its always somewhere in the middle which more precisely means it will be alright in the end but you will fuck up quite a few times until you get to said end.
I hate people who try nothing in their life because "what if they fail???" With this way of thinking you never get to do anything so why even live. That being said, im confident to try anything in life in any area, except for one notable exception which is approaching people, including women. Idk why but i fear that so much sb would have to point a gun at me to make me do it
Casanova-Quinn 5y ago
You simply need to start doing it, there's no trick to it. The fear will slowly fade the more you do it. Practice breeds confidence.
NextBad 5y ago
Thank you for writing this, lately this community is all, build a amazing life, radiant some energy and women will be a by product..
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You learn about things by failing, after 20 to 30 rejection you will learn the little things, and the subtle lighting
TruthSeekingPerson 5y ago
I'm not sure how helpful this is. There's no instruction to how to approach women only shaming people who don't. Surest way to get rejected is to try and do something when you're not confident in it.
hazelstein 5y ago
Wow, I just had this I am not ready plus I don't have mood today to cold approach.
I definitely have a lot of I am not ready moments.
I need to just DO thing. Like you said You will never be 100% ready, its another illusion to keep us from doing what we need to do !