First of all, this is a detailed account of MY experience. Maybe others had it different. But, I believe there are universal principles in my perspective that are worth sharing.
Background: Single mother with very strong personality, beta weak father. My parents split when I was 6. Older sister. Shared custody, but I spent most of my time in my mother's house, which is a matriarchal family. My mother and her three sisters didn't have a good relationship with their father. In other words, I was raised in a situation completely dominated by females. You can see where this is going. Mom and dad worked together since I was born, both lawyers who owned the office. After splitting, they made the huge mistake of continuing working together. Then my stupid father made the bigger mistake of marrying a bipolar whore who had never worked, was 30 and lived with her parents, had never gone to college, was a total loser dumb slut that took advantage of his blue pill nature. The classic post-wall girl that was looking for her Beta Bucks. They met and married within 6 months lol. She obviously got pregnant real quick and my younger sister was born. The crazy bitch ruined even more my father's relationship with both me and my older sister. She hated us and we felt the same, and alienated us from our younger sister which we both loved.
That leads to my teenager years. I was always good looking and tall, but a total disgrace with girls. First real kiss with 9, but because the girl was in love with me. Only kissed again with 14, three girls total until lost my virginity. Virgin until 18. Very, very shy, couldn't defend myself from high school "chads", never popular. My father never taught me to be a man and stand up for myself. Nerdy guy that loved videogames. Very intelligent, but a severe lack of discipline that plagues me to this day, so I was a mediocre student. Total loser was my future, no doubt. Started looking for PUA content because I was frustrated with how my family was always commenting how a guy as good looking as I never showed up with any girls. Some thought I was gay. Then I found this sub. That was about middle 2016. Mind blowing stuff, life changing content. But I never really started doing what I should with what I learned here or at least did not do it enough to make a difference. For example, I got fatter and fatter as 2016 and 2017 progressed. Only started regular lifting in october 2017, but did not eat a healthy diet, so still got heavier. July of this year I weighed 213 pounds (I’m 6’0 feet tall). Felt ugly and had many health problems. 2 years after finding TRP, I basically had not made any major strides. So I started a deep reflection on everything. My lack of discipline was imprisioning me. As Jocko Willink says, discipline is freedom. And I finally started improving. I’ve lost 26 pounds since July, I reached the 1 year mark of lifting, I went to a doctor to “fix” my hormones (like testosterone) and other health problems. I’ve been studying more and better, cause I abandoned college two years ago, I hated my course and was failing in it, and now I’m graduating in Economics, which is what I truly wanted. After this, I can now say that I’m improving and reflect on the past 2 years. Here’s what I learned.
Lesson 1
You will start to idealize your goals
The most obvious thing about TRP, in a general way, is that you’re learning something new, acquiring new knowledge. And TRP is a special kind of information, the one that can change your life and give you power and control. Add the element that the majority of people have no clue about TRP principles and theories, the average TRP guy is in possession of a scarce good that has incredible value. In other words, he has power at his hands that most do not have. You know a top confidential secret that most do not.
However, one of the most emphasized things here is the difference between having the knowledge and taking action. Imbued with this new knowledge, you will construct objectives, goals you want to achieve. And here is where lies the trap: the knowledge itself is not enough, action is necessary. But, since you’re know in a position of power, you’ll idealize this goals, rationalizing like this: “When I’m jacked and tanned, the girls will drool over me! And I will not be used and manipulated by them, cause I know their true nature through TRP! So, it’s all gonna be good when I get there!”. Since you now have the knowledge, you are absolutely CERTAIN that you’re gonna succeed. How could you not, you have the secret TRP superpower! The TRP information becomes your comfort zone, and you’re back in the mediocrity loop without making real progress.
Lesson 2
The Red Pill is a dopamine spike in itself
The TRP/Manosphere member will have orgasms reading the field reports, the Side Bar, the tweets from guys like Illimitable Man and Rollo Tomassi, and so on. He will spend hours on the subreddit, congratulating himself for reading the posts. I myself did that A LOT. And he will feel GREAT about it, just like the fat man does when he eats a whole pizza, or the Netflix addict when he watches the new episode of some dumb show. TRP is now your dopamine spike of the day.
Meanwhile, the necessary action for progress and results is left aside. The lifting of the day is ignored because you already read TRP posts, your “progress of the day” is done.
This is the instant gratification prison all over again, and the only way to achieve greatness is to escape it, through meaningful ACTION.
Lesson 3
The search for pleasure can be a prison
TRP is often associated with getting girls, and that’s fine. And the pill will help you a lot with that. However, this “endless pursuit of girls/pleasure” is toxic. What I mean by this is that you can even start taking action, but you will do it to get chicks, not for yourself. Let me tell you right now: GIRLS ALONE CAN NOT BRING A MAN HAPPINESS OR GREATNESS. It’s impossible. That’s why people here talk so much about a man’s mission, rightfully so. You should lift for your own sake, read books for your benefit as a human being, meditate for your own mental health, and so on. Happiness and greatness come from WITHIN, through the means of, you guessed it, ACTION.
Escape the prison of immediate pleasure, where the prisoners believe that pleasure justifies itself, and only then true happiness can be achieved. This is widely taught in both christianism and buddhism, and there is a reason. And, believe me, if you do this, the girls will come.
Lesson 4
Realize that it takes time
Kinda of a cliché, but it’s true nonetheless. The results you want are products of long term plans. You’ll not get jacked in just one year of lifting, sorry. Greatness and happiness are long term projects. Face the struggle everyday, be it lifting, gaming, reading, meditating, studying, or whatever. Everyday, a step forward. Everyday, another lifting session. Everyday, ten minutes of meditation. Everyday, thirty pages of the book you’re reading. Everyday, studying to get better at your job and hobbies. After a while, the results will appear, and you’ll realize that it was all worth it.
Only by ACTION can your goals be achieved. The Red Pill will show you the way, but won’t walk it for you. After I started really taking action, I reached a level of happiness I never knew before. TRP showed me the path to greatness, and I’m finally walking it, after being adrift for most of my life. I hope you can walk the same path.
AnakinRebornRage 5y ago
Awesome post and true to life. I'm struggling with the goal idealization segment. Do you mean people tend to not take action when they're sure they will reach their goals or that they think it will be smooth sailing when they do?
strikethrough123 5y ago
TRP gets girls out of the way so you can get your mind to focus on something else. Food is the most important thing on your mind when you’re hungry.
Pre-TRP and a little bit into TRP I focused solely on fucking girls and going out of my way to fuck more girls. After being with a fair amount of women (about 30, mind you I was a virgin pre-TRP), I’ve come to realize that pussy ain’t shit and that your desire for chasing hoes is better when redirected to something more worthwhile.
All this “focus on your mission” stuff doesn’t really work if you haven’t eaten yet. You can’t build a farm when you’re hungry.
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Rejolt 5y ago
I find one of the biggest turning points is first time you bang a chick you meet you and think wow, nothing has changed in my life.
If you're not happy with your life outside women, you'll never be happy. I learned that a year ago and changed how I think about women
Flpgneves 5y ago
I agree. That's why I said the pill will help you a lot with that.
But, as you said, pussy ain't shit and there are things more worthwhile.
My perspective is that true happiness and greatness, and living life in a virtuous way, in the Aristotelian sense, can't be achieved with just pussy.
largepaycheckaddict 5y ago
I 100% agree with you.
I’ve had my fair share of casual sex with plenty of women. Sex is great and booking up is fun, but I’d honestly rather put my goals and purpose in front of that. A night you’re banging some chick from the club putting yourself at risk of an std or unwanted pregnancy.. or whatever drama comes with rhe bitch.. that’s a night you could’ve been grinding for a better life later on.
I say let the chicks come to you. Whatever works out works out. For now I’m gonna do me, work at my goals, get ripped, read more books, and have a good life. If a good woman comes my way and I see potential in her I’m willing to build a relationship. I want to have a family to provide for and live a good life so that’s why I grind every damn day.
I actually kinda feel sorry for these dudes who waste their weekend out chasing pussy when they could be doing something more worthwhile in their time.. it feels like passing a dude in a race.
Hombremaniac 5y ago
> after being adrift for most of my life.
I guess many, me included, will relate to this. I'd kick myself into the nuts for not being where I am now, back when I was 30. Then again it's waste of time to think like this and better start at 40, than later.
Anyway good post, should be common knowledge around here, but sometimes reiterating is a good thing.
aherrns 5y ago
Damn! Did I write this in a moment of lucidity? The story of my life!
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Interesting points.
Every man's journey will be different. You're right though, that this becomes about a lot more than women. It's as if it started as purely sexual strategy, then morphed into a lot more.
For myself, it's a great process. All of it does have to be for myself. Building frame has turned into something for me. Purely the way I see and hold myself. Letting go of instant gratification is huge. Like you say, that every day process of working away - lifting, working, meditating, etc. Eventually you build a strong enough foundation to approach the world as new, but still chipping away.
It's a tough one to keep focus on what this really is all about, and the focus and effort it takes to become the best you can. With all the young guys in ASKtrp who just want to know how to game that oneitis they've had for 6 months, the focus get's lost.
Change is tough, change is hard. Keep plugging away.
odaklanan_insan 5y ago
"Face the struggle everyday, be it lifting, gaming, reading, meditating, studying, or whatever. Everyday, a step forward. Everyday, another lifting session. Everyday, ten minutes of meditation. Everyday, thirty pages of the book you’re reading. Everyday, studying to get better at your job and hobbies."
Not everyday. Not for a long time. Don't think like that. Your will power will yield to it. Only focus on the moment. You don't have to read 30 pages everyday for years. It'll make thousands of pages. It's just too much to bear. Focus only on THIS day. You only need to read 30 pages before sleep. Read it and it's done. You'll worry about the other 30 pages tommorow. Play with one girl today. It doesn't have to be a flirt. Annoy her, say something daring or tell something about her dress. Observe her behavior. Learn one more thing about girls reactions. You only need an hour in the gym. 2 years? Fuck no... tommorow's another day. That's one of the things I focus on when meditating.
Overcalculating will overheat your engine. Too much cpu usage will drain your battery. Divide and swallow. Be aware that one step is all it takes to make you better today. Appreciate that, congratulate yourself and sleep with a good concious.
You'll calculate all those steps, all those days years later and smile. You might even not need to calculate. Maybe you'll just suddenly realize you made it, who knows... But not now.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
I like this, man. Good reply.
I only need to be Red Pill, just for today. I can have a tendency to look into the future. You've reminded me, the only thing we can really control, is the process we take today. That makes every day kind of exciting, too.
I like to do a little 'inventory' of my day, at the end of one. What have I done, what do I want to work on? Small stuff, maybe two or three things I'd like to do better. The next day, after a meditation, I remind myself of those two or three things. They're my focus - just for today.
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thewrecker8 5y ago
Success is not owned it's rented. And the rent is due every day
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FereallyRed 5y ago
You were trapped in GLO's Pleasure Palace.
uglynihilist 5y ago
Totally agree on information consumption. It’s such a trap. People scroll instagram with Gary Vaynerchuk (not even reading) and they believe they are somehow ahead of the game meanwhile living in their moms basement. Pathetic. I have more respect for people who try and do all sort of shit without giving much thought than for those who only study and don’t execute.
MarcosDomingues 5y ago
Soo... What if Im already lifting heavy and studying, what am I supposed to do next? I have too much free time on my hands
Lambdal7 5y ago
Actually cold approaching.
Taking your mind off girls is stupid and is only for beta guys who never take action.
If you got 3 plates, yoy dont spend much time thinking of them anyways.
gatorgrips 5y ago
Teach yourself something like how to play an instrument or learn a hobby or skill you are interested in.
MatrixofLe3adership 5y ago
Holy shit, that is painful too read.
Always my days have seemed to me too short to achieve my desire.
Howdoiusesync 5y ago
those are the basics, what will make you better than 90% of people doing that? That is the mindset of this post.
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
Find active ways to grow, develop yourself, and develop skills you're interested in. If you want to draw pick up the books ad learn some basics. Want to learn how to shoot a bow and arrow? Find sime classes or informational resourses. The world's your playground once you start exploring your interests.
JuicySosa300 5y ago
Build a social circle and practice/improve your ability to communicate with others
Sniffalot 5y ago
If you mean hobby, jiujitsu. It’s an excellent grappling sport that helps get that urge to fight out, boost your test and use the muscles you gain working out. It allows you to get that fight out and be aggressive.
If you mean in not a hobby sense, build up your social circle.
SunTzuWarmaster 5y ago
Anything but TV and video games. Even sitting quietly by yourself (meditating) is better.
jihocech 5y ago
Work more. Part time job maybe? Money gives freedom.
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Greek-God-Brody 5y ago
Sorry, might have missed, but how exactly did taking action brought you more success with women? By approaching more, by meeting more women?
Also, Chads are born, they're not created. You don't become Chad by lifting. There is no gym for your face.
Sir_Distic 5y ago
Think about who Chad is. He's a muscular, funny, confident guy who draws women to him with charisma and looks. He dresses nice. He shows off his muscles. His attitude is cocky and funny. Women love it.
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Chads are most definitely made.
Flpgneves 5y ago
Yes, approaching more, and by improving my social skills overall.
Also, a body with more muscle and less fat is more attractive to women. Maybe you won't become Chad, but will become more alpha.
Jeffspark 5y ago
Great Post. I believe the stages your mention are not hard lines. I find myself somewhere between 1,2 and 3.
Also, I don't think phases 1 and 2 are a waste (considering the lack of action). It is part of the metamorphosis where your brain and thinking patterns are adjusting to the new found knowledge. You must however push to keep taking action.
trp_nofap_rewire2018 5y ago
Good shit man. Your background post RP is similar to mine. Been reading/theorizing too much and not getting stuff done. Are you from Brazil/South America? Cheers
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Ripperinoskinerino 5y ago
Good post brother, I found this extremely useful and refreshing as I'm fairly new to thia. Really appreciate it
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Flpgneves 5y ago
Too low. Fixing it with proper food and TRT.
embracingtheredpill 5y ago
All good lessons. Keep going.
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DiSysmic 5y ago
Always nice to be reminded that many, including myself, tend to fall back into this loophole. Great post!
WadKnock 5y ago
I do so love it when condescenting fucks like you take the joy out of anything in life just because it's a "dopamine hit". I swear to God broskyies like you are not fun to be around and I struggle to even imagine you having male friends, much less game anything, just because you're uptight cunts.