The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.
Whisper
Posted 5y ago in Building Power - Permalink - Locked - 2.8K Views
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Frenetic_Zetetic 5y ago
This sub is getting worse and worse with these rationalized BS posts that do nothing to help new people on the fence, other than continue to obscure and dilute genuine understanding of RP info.
linkofinsanity19 5y ago
This is the best post I've read in a long time. It gave me chills how true it is.
cupshadow 5y ago
This was spot on.
I'm not on TRP to go after every trashier girl I could get on. It's too about pride, self-respect and personal standards. It's about the girls that will really gonna add value to my life, that will put real effort to meet and spend their time with me.
ThinSpiritual 5y ago
Thanks for the post, very timely for me.
I'm at the stage where I can get sex regularly, but I can't remember 95% of them and I start to wonder why the fuck do I even want sex in the first place? So now I want sex from hotter girls, from girls that I feel affectionate towards, from girls who have a higher SMV... I'm becoming hypergamous?
Last weekend I went to a date's home (second time meeting her), I knew I was already in her when she invited me to go over. Anyways, in the midst of fucking her dog hopped on to the bed and I pushed it away, knocking over a bottle of wine and creating a massive mess. I don't mind, but she does. We paused to clean up and after which she said she lost the mood to continue.
She said she's sleepy, "let's go to bed."
"No, I'll go home."
I felt unwanted. Or at least, I wanted her more than she wanted me. Sleeping together would be a torture for me.
A soft-next ensued, because I didn't really get what I wanted. This post cleared everything up for me. Gracias.
Loze1 5y ago
For the past week I've been contemplating this topic in my mind. Prior to that I did some introspection and uncovered this truth about myself. Even more strange is, when questions like these come to mind, I somehow find an answer to them later down in the form of a post or article.
I want to be needed. I want to feel it. That's what is at my core. After reading Mindset (by Carol Dweck) it's an issue I had since childhood. Most of the children in my extended family were older than me so I was the one excluded from whatever they were doing. That time I was about 7 and they were in their teens or close to it. I wasn't party of the club just because I was too young. I was a quiet child. Children are pretty fucking heartless among themselves if you asked me. I was also bullied for that same reason. It felt like nobody wanted me.
I'm working on myself right now. It was hard to come to terms with it. I know I won't be lusted after like a male magazine model. No matter how long I stay at the gym. Maybe through plastic surgery? I'm looking at this the wrong way. I won't be able to get that kind of attention with my looks alone. I'll need to add some game to that. Not at my best yet. There's a lot of work to be done until then.
McVaghunter 5y ago
Actually, no. I just want sex. I don't care if she's lust or not, all I want is to get laid as frequently as possible with as many girls as possible. The shape of the body of a female in her prime matters to me more than anything going on in her mind.
Sure I hard next girls who don't fuck on the first date but that's not because I "want to be desired" but because she wasted my valuable time once and I'm not gonna allow that to happen again. I don't burn bridges tho, she's more than welcome to approach me later on, but we will be heading straight to my place. Believe it or not some of us in TRP (very few admittedly) do workout, and between the job, the personal project, the workout, the cardio, eating and meal prepping, cleaning the kitchen, we do have a very tight schedule. Going out on a first date and not getting laid becomes a fucking disaster.
So, "you listen to me with your ears and not your low T disorder". If a woman needs enough time to know you before she could decide if she'll fuck you or not then she does not see you sexual value. Maybe because there isn't any. Sorry to inform you that some of us genuinely value sex more than passion. Humans are different, there's nothing wrong with craving passing, most of men do, it's called being bluepilled.
As for why not just pay for sex, I would've loved to, but the point is to get laid every day, sometimes multiple times a day, and that would cost a fucking fortune, hint why I've completely ditched TRP's advice about taking girls for drinks on the first date; with multiple girls approached every weak even a simple drink for each one of them will cost a fortune.
This post is disappointing coming from a TRP vanguard, whatever that means. It's sad to see TRP taking over by men who crave passion. What a shame. Why would a particular woman's passion matter if AWALT?
ChrimsonChin988 5y ago
I'll bite.
At some point, yes, most of us will feel the need to have a girl lust after us. But don't make the mistake to think this is the end goal. Some of us are not even at the stage of having the need to have a girl lust after us and some of us are already past that point.
Having the need to have a girl lust after you is ego stroking and ultimately is rooted in insecurity. Therefore, it can not be final.
This is nothing more than Maslow his fucking pyramid. First, we seek to fulfill all our bodily needs (food, shelter, SEX) 2 or 3 layers above that we seek things like love/belonging/feeling of accomplishment (having a girl lust after you can be an example of these things).
You can spin this shit all you want because our perspectives are constantly shifting and therefore also what feels relevant/authentic/true to us.
What I want to leave you with is that because something feels like the 'ultimate' truth to you right now doesn't mean it will always be that way because our perspectives are very dynamic and constantly shift, therefore our needs and motivations do as well. Just because something feels true to you right now doesn't mean it is actual truth.
Coming up with 'final solutions' like 'The thing you REALLY want' is pretty shortsighted tbh.
To elaborate on this, you fell in your own fucking trap. As you pointed out whisper, some people are not yet at the point where they want a girl lusting after them but just want sex. Basically, you say that rookies think they want A but they actually want B, committing the exact same mistake as they do, because you fail to see there is also an C, D, E, F etc. In a few years you will say 'ha these noobies think they want B but they actually want C!'. and on and on. That's why thinking in terms of 'final solutions' is shortsighted...
EkMard 5y ago
What you say is correct, but you made the false assumption that this post is written for anything other than showing people who have A that they actually want B.
Bear-With-Bit 5y ago
"I don't want your number, I want you to wonder." - great American poet Sean Combs
8380atgmaildotcom 5y ago
Not to suck your dick but every post you have is the highest of quality. Not a single word is in there that doesn't need to be. It simply shows unlike most on here that you know what you are talking about.
Deep down this is what it boils down to.
UnanimousInMyOpinion 5y ago
You guys who are making way too much out of this “caveat” bullshit are the Spergs. This is a masterful, remarkably insightful post that fleshes out everything you need to know about “don’t chase women.” Unfortunately, and painfully for many, those men who don’t get the depth of, and heed the advice in, this post will live to regret it. It’s a slippery slope exactly how long it’s going to take some woman to start liking you (bullshit), how much “game” you have to play before she realizes how wonderful you are (bullshit). The spirit of this post should be obvious to non-Speegs, and it’s message is true to life
bouncypoo 5y ago
I agree most dudes desire women with the hope that she will desire him in an equally reciprocal fashion. Women don't love you and are incapable(look up briffault's law). Women want, no need, validation and attention from men, sans the sex. The wise claim a women will never love you like your mother, luckily for me my mother was incapable of even doing that right; I was merely a puppet boy that fed her attention and validation. My childhood experiences allowed me to swallow the blood filled pill before I knew what it was.
Most women are useful for nothing beyond a cock spitshine. Beyond that they are solely to be utilized for your amusement. As long as you maintain frame they inevitably will fall in line, that is until you fall "in love". Focus on yourself, amass great fortune, build a wonderful empire unto yourself, but most important of all don't fall in love boyos.
Of course I've fallen in love once. Once they catch a whiff, your downfall is near. They notice your softened emotions , how you have become weaker, all the while she has woven tightly woven vines , more than you can imagine. They all swing in the breeze. Once she catches a glimpse of your beta she will find a way to drop you to your knees, all the while clutching to her thickest and strongest vine. You will lay there watching her jump off the ledge , to her new Tarzan, she won't even look back. As you lay there almost as good as dead. You will never be the same afterwards. Afterall no one respects weakness.
DirtyPickleGuy 5y ago
This hits the nail on the head.
I recently hit 10 women. In two months I had banged as many chicks I would've gotten in a year. It felt good but after the ninth I didn't feel anything. I used to feel something. If she was hot; good. If not, bad. But I didn't feel anything with this HB7. I decided I needed to fuck more chicks to figure out why. I hit 10 and still felt nothing.
Probably need to work on retaining pussy, or getting a couple plates.
adam-l Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
You cannot have pussy as your ultimate target. Sex for us men is like food. If we are starving, it's the most important thing. When we have enough, it no longer makes sense obsessing about it.
Have a mission.
Mangasbzo7 5y ago
This.
Would go one further and say the more women you fuck the less significant sex becomes. Sex to me now is about as significant as what I chose to eat for lunch last Wednesday.
What is way important now is the girl's personality, and do I enjoy time with her without sticking my dick in her. If that box is checked, then good sex flows naturally from there.
RightHandWolf 5y ago
Being good together in bed is a big deal, but being good together out of bed matters more.
IAMB4TMAN 5y ago
I think in general, this is correct - there will be women who things just click with & the desire is hardly confusing. But, I think to really bring this thinking to be sidebar/another TRP law/theory to live by, it needs to fully incorporate ASD.
​
Here's something to discuss:
- If you are a very good looking Man, & you have demonstrated traits that convince a girl (even the HB8+'s) that you are at least 1-2 SMV points higher, I have noticed that the insecurity you inspire will trigger them to delay sex w/ you. Overall, under the below 2 situations, I've wrestled with whether delayed sex is due to lack of desire for awhile, & so far the conclusion I am coming to is, is that there are instances where it is not necessarily a lack of desire.
​
1) I'll start with weak escalation -> delayed sex
- If your escalation game is weak, for example, going in for a kiss w/ the intent of sex at the end of a date after little to no physical contact during the date, you will 99.9% of the time not be able to close, but that does not necessarily mean she does not desire you. I've noticed a good test for desirability is her willingness to give you a 2nd chance - the shorter the time frame between this 'chance' & the 2nd date, the higher the level of desirability. Following this article's advice on nexting her right after she denies you under the belief that her desire for you isn't strong here is wrong, fundamentally. If you're just trying to increase n-count & maximize efficiency, yes, arranging the 2nd date to fix your escalation errors is probably not worth it, but in the context of her desire for you, you are still in the game.
​
2) Overgaming + handsome or just overgaming to the point of making her feel insecure about the SMV disparity -> delayed sex
- I think that if you have convinced a woman that your SMV far outstrips her, her delaying sex w/ you is more a function of reputational/vanity protection vs. lukewarm desire. I have noticed that this tends to happen with physically handsome Men following TRP game + PUA game too strictly to the letter or if you are dropping all these game concepts on a girl who's SMV is clearly 1-2 points lower than yours. When you get to the point of having sex & she denies you, or tells you to wait, I think that this is not a function of her lack of desire for you, but more so a form of ASD which can be overcome, but to do so one must have knowledge of advanced TRP game (distinguishing shit tests vs. comfort tests, a bit more weight into the 'pull' part of push/pull dynamics).
-- Caveat: From what I've noticed, sufficient Fame is the only aspect of a Man's SMV that can officially overcome any reputational/vanity offenses / SMV disparity insecurities/concerns as I have seen high smv men with fame get away with overgaming.
​
Overall though, I think filtering for that 'fuck yeah' interest is probably one of, if not, the most efficient way of capitalizing on sexual strategy as an RP Man if quantity > quality is what is desired. At some point in a Man's TRP journey though, I think there will be a period where one strives for quality > quantity; that is when you could depart from filtering for only 'fuck yeah' interest & go out there to capitalize on desire in a secure way.
​
Note: Everything I've said to this point assumes that 'fuck yeah' interest/desire exists but you fucked it up with #1 and/or #2; I am not advocating for attempting to inspire desire that is lukewarm to begin with. Overall, converting lukewarm desire to desire is an endeavor that will 99.999999% end up in failure as you will be gambling with your frame to get her there which I think is an unnecessary risk, period, & even if accomplished is not the 'fuck yeah' desire she will have for a Chad/better Chad.
​
TLDR: Generally, if a woman delays sex I agree with Whisper/Rollo that the 'medium is the message' & it can be attributed to lack of desire / she just isn't that into you, so -> next. But, assuming you are not hamstering the IOIs & everything else that point to a high level of desire, delayed sex can be a result of #1 and/or #2 & not necessarily a lack of desire.
DiSysmic 5y ago
TRP and askTRP are saturated with Gen Z's and Millenials. At the root of our need for feedback, we aim to reach for society's high ladder while filling our sexual needs with some no-strings-attached pussy.
I have yet to understand what the hell passion means.
mental_models 5y ago
I recommend learning to enjoy some of the power dynamics.
We can get into a routine where pussy is simply food for the sexual appetite.
A scoop of whey and some milk can address the appetite, but sometimes you want to really indulge.
BlindingTwilight 5y ago
Nice post and very helpful for inexperienced guys. Women who make you wait come in two varieties. The girl who is looking for a plow horse, or the girl who actually is into you and she wants to secure your commitment. How can you tell the difference? Most guys cannot tell the difference because they are thirsty and desperate for someone to love them. Guys who are experienced with women, let’s say an n-count above 20 don’t really need any tips here because they have learned through experience. For guys with less experience this is a real problem. The best metric is as always the sex itself. If she has made you wait and after the first stages the sex drops off, then she sees you as a plow horse. If the sex remains fun and regular then maybe she really does like you as a person and find you attractive as well. It’s a fine line because guys who are sexually inexperienced could easily think that just because she has sex with him regularly that she is into him. Getting more experience is the safest way to judge if she is into you or not.
TheRedPillRipper 5y ago
”There are only two tragedies in life; one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. - Oscar Wilde”
Sexual Strategy is amoral but what the boys want is a shortcut to sexual success. Although not a shortcut TRP provides a tried and tested methodology. Once they get there those enlightened enough realise that there’s more to sex, more to passion.
Personally; I’ve always been an ambitious son of a bitch. I don’t focus on who lusts after me; cause I’m far too driven pursuing the one thing I lust after.
”Everything in human life is really about sex; except sex. Sex is about power.” - Michael Cunningham
Patriot29 5y ago
One thing I want to add is that once you become that high value man who secures the powerful lust of a hot woman, do not let your guard down. It is easy to become so deluded as to think that just bc a woman’s entire world and sense of self worth revolves around you at this given moment, that it is an indicator of future loyalty. You may be tempted to increase your time spent with her or even LTR her when you first experience this genuine lust. You might find comfort in knowing that she believes she can never do better than you. Do not fall for this trap. The act of increasing your investment in any way will be the nail in the coffin. You can and will lose their lust. And when you do, it will be a rude awakening and yet another layer of pill to swallow.
Mangasbzo7 5y ago
Exactly this.
The other week my fwb of 3 months told me she is falling for me and thinks abt me all the time.
Before TRP my response to that would have been to give her more T.A.R. & committment, but now I know that doing the complete opposite to that is actually the best course of action right now.
SexdictatorLucifer 5y ago
No need to get paranoid about it. This advice could potentially lead a guy to throw away 3 yrs or so of pornstar sex with an amazing woman. Just keep your wits about you and understand how powerful this attractive womans lust for you is, and the influence it has over you. And most importantly, what she can do with that power. Keep your head and watch what she does. Up her dose of your time in a small increment. Does she react positively, and begin lusting after your harder? Or does she immediately push when you pull? Yes, you must know the dangers you outline, but after learning them no need to be paranoid. Its all observation and calculated interpretation.
Popular-Culture 5y ago
This post came at a great time for me. I have this plate who has been a consistent and reliable source of sex for me. Always compliant when I invite her over and very fun in bed. But I don't feel that desire from her. Sure, she temporarily scratches my itch for sex, but it doesn't give me any long-term satisfaction. You're right: I want her to lust after me. And I don't think she does. So I'm left wondering if I should keep this thing going, or just end it before it dies out. Regardless, I need to keep increasing my value and keep hitting the gym hard so that I can one day inspire that feeling of lust in women.
Mangasbzo7 5y ago
I had the same thing with a girl. Don't overthink things.
A woman's value is primarily sex. She is giving you that reliably, so just enjoy it while it lasts and don't look the gift horse in the mouth.
Also remember to not be emotionally invested, and remember one day probably sooner than you expect the relationship will fizzle out. And that's perfectly ok, bc you should have other girls you're fucking anyhow
ArtDeve 5y ago
Chicks can be purely friends too. Maybe they won't understand parts of you but much of the female psych is weird too.
Better if you aren't sleeping with them but if you can do both, it can be super valuable and very rewarding.
Being able to walk away, no - attachment, is essential though. Men are wired for biological enslavement and we need to keep that part in check.
kenpachitz 5y ago
So… why does she keep coming over so willingly?
If she's compliant and the sex is enthusiastic (not sure if it can be fun if not), aren't you just manufacturing a problem in your own head?
mental_models 5y ago
Good question.
If that's not 'enough', than it seems like either she's below the quality that really energizes the quoted poster, or that the poster has expectations that are not aligned with the source.
redpillcad 5y ago
Once you become AlphaFucks and see how women treat men they desire it will fall into place nicely.
First become a high value man
Vikingcel 5y ago
Low-key avoiding saying that the thing you really want is validation.
SoulRedemption 5y ago
I see your point. The way the word "validation" used in here is the way a girl who may want several guys to give her attention (orbiters) and seeking it from other girls as well. On the other side, guys may want validation sue to insecurity reasons so they like being reassured they are "a good friend, good bf, nice person, good husband" etc.
Lust derives from a different emotional state. As do loathing which is different to hate.
Lust is passionate and gives you the satisfaction when you have sex. As opposed to a girl that is just having swx with you. Mix a girl who just wants to fuck with lust, passion and a desire to fuck you, both you and her would get more out of that sexual interaction.
Does lust give your ego a boost? Sure it can. Is lust a way for your validation? A by product maybe. But as I said before, it comes from a different place.
mental_models 5y ago
validation = scarcity (please validate me!)
lust = abundance (fk or walk)
TheRedPike 5y ago
Have a point.
Vikingcel 5y ago
Validation is validation.
If you have a scarcity of validation, it's 'please validate me!'
If you have abundance of validation, it's 'validate me(fuck) or walk'
Lust has nothing to do with abundance, scarcity or validation. If I see a pretty ginger with a nice ass, I will get lustful.
Exactly the negative connotation of 'validation' I've talked about. You even have to hamster up to keep it.
mental_models 5y ago
Focus on this statement for a second.
You have a strong desire for that hot piece of ass. In this case, the 'lust' is coming from you(as opposed to her lusting for you). You aren't feeling a need to 'validate' her, are you? You desire. You have a passion for her.
That could be 100% nature. Or maybe she got her hair done, dresses sexy and does lunges... -The point is that she's wielding power(, and you desire her value. (and she has her pick of most men if she has any game).
That's what I'm talking about with power and value and abundance.
If you flip the script, and you lift and you are successful, suddenly she's sees a built dude with a house and she LUSTS for you. That's the empowerment.
Vikingcel 5y ago
I doubt anyone ever validates someone/something thinking 'I'm going to validate that person/thing'. Maybe if you're autistic.
When you see a chick that makes you lustful, as soon as you express that lust, you're validating her. If she lusts after you and expresses her lust, she's validating you.
It's easy to comprehend.
See what effect validation has on men?
mental_models 5y ago
Watch a woman manipulate a beta male. You'll see it often.
You are struggling with the semantics of empowerment vs. validation.
Vikingcel 5y ago
All besides the point.
Adress this. Am I wrong? If so, elaborate why.
EkMard 5y ago
A man requires validation from women (is hungry for sex) when he doesn't have options. When he is getting regular sex, he does not require validation, as in he doesn't hunger for sex. Now he cultivates his taste. And he finds that he prefers women who are passionate for him.
Vikingcel 5y ago
He does still require validation, it's just that he has abundance of it.
Ie., women that validate him more
IvyExcess 5y ago
I love that a virgin is giving advice here. Yall check your sources, your consuming regurgitation
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
I tried to believe this was trolling. I really tried.
Vikingcel 5y ago
It's the truth. 'Validation' just has a negative connotation here, because the alpha males love to beat their chest and claim they don't chase or need external validation. They really just want to say that they don't supplicate with intent to be validated, which is great.
As the OP eloquently put, men want to be lusted after. If you're like me and have no issue with swearing in front of children or spit snus drip at the mall, you can break the TRP norm and say that (straight) men crave being validated by women. Nothing wrong with that. You take a seasoned RP Chad veteran and take all female validation from him and he'll be posting on asktrp wondering what happened that he no longer gets laid, doesn't get tinder matches, doesn't get checked out, always gets the cold shoulder when cold approaching and the drunk bar whores only talk to him until he buys them a drink and then they disappear.
Now if you take that alpha lad and take all external validation away from him, he'll either move to Alaska to live as a hermit or hang himself.
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
OP was hitting on the fact that there is sex and there is passionate sex. One is better than the other. A lot better. And it has nothing to do with validation and everything to do with desire.
Vikingcel 5y ago
No, that'd be too simple.
Being desired is validation. You want to be desired, right?
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
It’s pretty simple.
Yeah it’s not about sex, but like, it is. It’s about leading up to sex, and that affects the sex immensely.
Auvergnat 5y ago
Good post but it needs a caveat for spergs who are going to use this post as a justification to avoid approaching women that don't show desire from the get go...
Yes, men have a core want for female desire. Yes it’s natural, and no you shouldn’t settle for less. Keeping chasing a girl who doesn’t desire you, or trying to maintain a relationship with a girl who doesn’t desire you will make you miserable..
BUT it’s important to remember that, while a man knows in 0.3 seconds upon seeing a girl whether he desires her or not and will usually not change his mind after he gets more information about her, a woman's desire for a man is not necessarily that fast, and does change over time as she gets more information about that man.
A woman might not be attracted to you at first at all, but then because you used excellent Game, swat shit tests, demonstrated more masculinity that she's seen in months, and presto, she's lusting for you.
Hey you can have a girl completely ignoring you for months, and then one day she sees her "rival" showing lust for you, and boom preselection turns on the tingles to 11.
So again, yes you want women who desire you, and no you don't want to be "chasing" women who don't show that desire...
BUT don't ever forget that women's desire is HIGHLY INCONSISTENT. So do show a reasonable dose of persistence, do make the minimum seduction efforts if they don't cost you much, do arise that desire in her.
Or to use OP's poker analogy: The guy who will play any hand no matter how shitty is just as foolish as the guy who only plays when he's been dealt a straight flush. Learn the Game. Play some, bluff some, fold some.
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
Plus there are literal periods when women want to hop on dudes like less one week out of a month and the rest thet're luke-warm to non-receptive on account of their menstrual cycles. The closer a chick is to the more she wants to get boned. Period.
Rimefang 5y ago
This is what I needed to read today. Exactly what I needed.
Mangasbzo7 5y ago
Chasing after a girl who doesn't sufficiently express interest in you in the literal definition of scarcity.
You should never be emotionally invested in anything a woman says or does. Ever. And I mean literally ever.
EdmondDaunts 5y ago
Great point. Just to clarify though: a woman doesn’t lust after you. She lusts after the way she will perceive herself with you. If women are AWALT and master hamsterwheelers it is never about you as an entity. It is always about her perception of herself.
It’s a small point. But it means if it doesn’t work out it’s not a reflection on your inherent qualities. Just your sales technique.
embracingtheredpill 5y ago
Absolutely. Came here to talk about the caveat needed. In the wrong hands, this post becomes fuel for people looking for a "higher purpose than sex" while playing video games all day and drinking Mountain Dew, to feed the cliche.
Not sure you provided the necessary caveat though. Not sure you can, as these people can rationalise anything.
Whisper 5y ago
Sigh.
Yeah, probably.
[deleted]
bnnmmh 5y ago
I just want sex.
A couple of times I got chances to get sex but because of my past experiences I got so nervous, my hand was shaking and I lost the erection. It was a very very embarrassing experience. Now I scared if a girl starts liking me because it'll lead to sex and I cannot do it. I tried to commit suicide but to be honest I scared from death too. I don't have guts to kill myself.
It's funny that I scared of sex now. when I tried to talk about it people laugh at me and insult me for not being a man.
derex 5y ago
You can easily fix this problem with money, message me and I can explain how.
WalterEArmstrong 5y ago
Get thee to a professional counselor, there are ways to deal with those anxieties.
ArtDeve 5y ago
Go for lower SMV women. It takes off the pressure and you can just be you. Overweight women can be awesome and have great personalities. Older women can be very direct and yet cool with whatever.
Stage fright sucks and has nothing to do with health.
Go down on her. Especially if she hasn't been with a guy in a while, she will appreciate it and you won't feel any pressure. You will get out of your head. She won't notice if you are not hard.
Maybe that is it but most likely.. it will get you into it too.
Make sure to clearly communicate that you do "enjoy going down on girls but only if they are clean shaven. That is, if it comes to that. Just FYI."
If she takes this wrong, she isn't worth your time.
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anti-hypergamist 5y ago
This link might help you with your problem: https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/having-sex/how-to-beat-performance-anxiety-the-only-thing-you-need-to-know-about-having-sex-with-a-new-girl
Whisper 5y ago
Contrary to what fiction seems to think, erections are not automatic with high testosterone. The penis is a barometer of whether a man is content with how things are going.
You are having this experience because you think of sex as a performance. Like you're supposed to do a "good enough job" of responding.
And that's not the case. Her orgasm is your job. Yours is her job. If you can't get it up, then she is doing a shit job at making you happy. And it probably doesn't help that you are not even expecting her to.
growingstronk 5y ago
Where were you with this advice when I was 18 and decided to lose my virginity in a public park on the 4th date
SIGH
Maith_fear 5y ago
And this is their perspective too, a girl can even be so disappointed that you didn't come that it outweighs the fact that you made her come.
Focus on your own pleasure first and you'll be the leader she wants you to be.
bnnmmh 5y ago
You hit the nail on the head. I never thought this way. Thank you.
fullbleie 5y ago
We are here for you, man. We all have this problem from time to time.
dfgabc 5y ago
man, let me know if you need help or someone to talk to. committing suicide is not the way to go. you should let a family member know!!
RightHandWolf 5y ago
???? . . . know when to walk away, and know when to run . . .
Chadster113 5y ago
This is what confuses me most about the red pill: don’t be validation seeking but then this post comes along and says you should be looking for passion/lust.
Can someone explain this to me? I just be missing the nuances here
Mangasbzo7 5y ago
OP isn't saying anything controversial. He just saying instead of just sex, what we all really want as men is a bitch who will worship us like a god. If the bitch don't seem like she willing to do that, then stop pursuing a dead end and go find other bitches who will. What's there not to get?
mental_models 5y ago
Lust = result of properly wielding power.
Whisper 5y ago
Yes.
A man who's desperate for validation from whatever girl he's talking to is different from a man who reserves his attention for the women who love and appreciate him.
Why do you think we call "starfish sex" that, as a term of disdain?
adam-l Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Getting to the point where you have girls lusting after you is necessary, for a man. Whether it is sufficient, i.e. it makes you feel fulfilled, is another issue.
For some men, it is sufficient. I tend to think these are mostly men with a power lust, which is essentially a chronic feeling of powerlessness.
(Hopefully) more often, when you do get enough female passion, you start focusing on other things. It allows you to become creative - and puts you on the road to self-actualization. I don't know if the word sounds too vague or undefined or something, but, ultimately, there is no escaping it: that is man's deepest motive, to realize the full of his potential.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Awesome reply
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