I enjoy browsing /r/DeadBedrooms, a subreddit for men and women who are not getting sex from their partners. Not because it has great advice or insight, but because it's good to see how others fail and continue to fail and learn from that. It's like the Darwin Awards for relationships. It's funny how are detractors will take us breaking up or divorcing as a sign of complete failure of our beliefs, yet they give the most beta, mainstream advice and that sub has huge failure rate.
However today, among the posts of how you need to "communicate more" and "try doing more chores", I came across this: https://archive.today/UEumt
Basically, this guy has been married for 7 years and gets mediocre sex 10 times a year (I hope he was masturbating, or else those 10 times would last about 10 seconds each). He tried all the regular advice; having the talk, giving her time to change, trying to compliment her, but it has only given him empty promises.
So dejected and at his wit's end, he says "fuck it", and pulls back. He starts running and getting out of the house more. Stops showering her in attention and praise. Stopped lingering in bed for hours trying to get mediocre sex. Starts focusing on everything but her.
And how does she react? Exactly how we all know she would. She's concerned about the lack of physical and emotional attention. She pines for him. She wants more time with him. This wasn't even a full dread game (no jealousy, no major self improvement, no real outside activities), yet she's reacting. With actual RP advice, this guy could save his relationship. He's already seen the truth and has nothing to lose.
Of course the comments are full of people saying that he should stop this (because we all know that when we do something new that provides good results, we should go back to our old ways immediately), trying to blame him for not doing enough foreplay (which he proves wrong), and generally just taking all the blame off of his wife (as is to be expected). But we all know what will happens if he not only keeps the dread up, but increases it. He followed all the unnatural, beta advice he's heard his whole life, and after it not working for 7 years, he finally gave in to his instincts and it's working like a charm.
Another example of how red pill tactics are not necessarily made up power plays, but natural responses that get positive results. Dread game isn't something that we redpillers conjured up in a lab, but that what others naturally do. He is starting to get the sex life he wants (although I'm sure following the horrible advice on that sub will ruin it), is becoming more in shape and being a good father, the wife is feeling new passion for her man, everything is overall better. The only ones unhappy are the betas and feminists, so in general good day for the human race.
j-coordinate 10y ago
I wouldnt bother with dread if I was getting it ten times a year.id just fuck someone else.
Nespos 10y ago
From comments:
"I can't figure out what the problem is, so it must be you." How relieving it would be as a male to have such sophisticated accountability-aversion built right in.
1independentmale 10y ago
Can you imagine being with that bitch? Next she's going to tell you that "sex starts in the kitchen" bullshit where she claims to get horny watching you do chores.
"I'm not warmed up. You should try mopping the floor, that might do it."
vandaalen 10y ago
But don't you dare mopping the floor the next time when you want to have sex. What kind of an abusive asshole are you, trying to manipulate her into having sex with you? That's basically rape. It's mop-rape.
Jaereth 10y ago
Not true. Certain partners may just need it every time. Doesn't mean you're not doing it right.
iluminatiNYC 10y ago
The lube thing is dumb. No one knows how either of them are built down there. Sometimes you need a bit of lube to get the party started. :)
Still, dude having a life for himself is a good thing. This isn't dread game as much as him getting off the tip of his woman's clit. If she can't handle this, she probably has some major issues. (Ironically enough, I doubt she's cheating. If she's that enmeshed with dude, she won't have the heart to creep.) He's becoming a human, full stop. If that's dread game, that's defining the Red Pill down.
Now if he's willing to try for the whole package, I'm sure someone will welcome him. :)
[deleted] 10y ago
Some chicks holes are just not as wet as others. It happens.
user_none 10y ago
And there's the guys in /r/bigdickproblems, for whom lube is almost a necessity.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
1independentmale 10y ago
I disagree that it's his fault. He's been lied to his entire life just like the rest of us. He dotes on her and puts up with her lack of interest because he's been told that's what a good husband does. He's trying to be a good man for her.
These bitches need to start recognizing when they have a good man and treat him right. If they did that, this sub wouldn't exist.
[deleted]
zyk0s 10y ago
I'm ok with the idea of having all the responsibility of in exchange I have all the authority and power. But these are not patriarchal marriages anymore. And sex is part of the marriage contract, just like provision. If you remove that, there's no point in marrying whatsoever.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
BlackHeart89 10y ago
Lmao!
I love when they put, "as a female". That lets me know that I can take their advice with a grain of salt. Not that I think women are stupid. Its just that every bit of advice I've ever gotten from a female in regards to relationships has either not worked or was just too dumb to even try.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
LoyalLuBu 10y ago
As a wealthy, white, cis-male, I'm inclined to agree with you.
getomc 10y ago
As a wealthy, white, cis-male, I'm inclined to agree with you.
TheRealMouseRat 10y ago
actually, a girl noticing her guy doing things to plan for a split would probably make her re-evaluate the relationship. does she want to split up, or does she want to put in more effort? often she puts in more effort.
kick6 10y ago
Even if she makes the other choice...it's still a better deal.
TheRealMouseRat 10y ago
yes, it's a win-win for both people involved. staying in shitty relationships is crap for everyone.
holzy444 10y ago
Isn't that the whole point of dread game ?
BhiQ 10y ago
Yup, dread game could definetly result in her breaking up with you but at that point it doesnt matter anymore. Better single and able to pull women than being stuck in the Beta mindset of "Well, she's my wife..."
vandaalen 10y ago
Not only that.
Who'd want to waste his time and energy, maybe even his resources, exclusively with a teenager, caught in a decaying body, constantly bitching and nagging, with whom you'd have to bargain for sex less than once a month?
If she's ending the relationship, it only shows that she's not willing to reciprocate the effort by putting some effort in by herself, and you are definetly better off without that bitch.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
mikeTherob 10y ago
Yes I have. She was an absolute psycho though and it didn't work, I just had to stop being a pussy, bite the bullet, and end it like a man.
[deleted]
Glenbert 10y ago
This highlights a general thing in life that drives me batshit. That is the unwillingness to admit that what works is what works. When i see people who are more committed to a principle -- whether religious, feminist or even Red Pill -- instead of the very plain reality in front of them, i want to go crazy.
pilledwillingly 10y ago
This is a big problem with TRP as a subreddit. There's so much stuff here that WORKS, but you have to dig through a lot of crap to find people discussing it because they are trying to push their own philosophy/agenda that they've subscribed to. It's why the sidebar is infinitely more valuable than the comments.
CQC3 10y ago
Definitely. I was a pretty damn beta kid and teenager, nothing to be proud of. I definitely instinctively harbored some "RP" ideas, like negging, withdrawing attention or not giving time for nothing. Those things alone, even done halfassedly were the only chances I had at anything, but folks harangued me when I said they felt right, or fair, or were even effective.
That crabs in the bucket analogy is spot on.
You'll always receive the things you desire most, when you can muster the power to no longer desire them any longer.
AllOrDeath 10y ago
Being unwilling to admit reality is, generally, unwise and pathetic, but there are times when not exploiting things can be for the greater good.
NS_white 10y ago
Yep. What works is not exactly politically correct.
Cyralea 10y ago
The curious thing I've noticed from talking to various BP'ers is that they're broken into two camps. The ones who claim it doesn't work at all (or only works on a small subset of broken women) are almost invariably teenagers. Picture the scrawny, low-testosterone loser in high school. Zero dating experience to relate these concepts.
The other camp is the older crowd that recognizes that it works, but feels it's immoral and unnecessary. Usually more women in this crowd.
Halfjor 10y ago
Very late comment, but relevant for someone reading this in the future (top posts all time).
TRP is much easier to swallow and understand when you have previous experiences to draw from. When I started reading TRP I had examples from girls I'd been with, my success and failures, and even the behavior of my sisters and mother.
If you take a guy that has nothing to draw from then he won't be able to cross reference anything here with experiences in his own life. It will be much harder to swallow, and can definitely lead to straight up rejection of TRP.
cocaine_face 10y ago
The important thing is to go for self correcting beliefs - science for example.
Honestly I'd more or less lump TRP in that too - is it effective? Ok, that's the methodology we should have in place.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
neveragoodtime 10y ago
Wow. You just opened up a fundamental problem in our world and especially politics today. They act on how they want the world to be, regardless of its efficacy. Thank you for opening my eyes to that, have an up vote.
RedBigMan 10y ago
TRP is full of knowledge that gives you great power. As the saying goes with great power comes great responsibility.
Morality discussions to me should basically be mental exercises and a place to consider the greater ramifications of using this knowledge in practice. We know what works but once we know what works we should ask should we be doing this in these circumstances.
TRP knowledge (like dread game and stuff) can be used to repair a marriage from the inside. Likewise it can also be used to destroy one from the outside (banging married women)
newmewuser 10y ago
Traditional morals are just totally inappropriate for this era. They may have being useful in the Iron age when men knew near nothing about the world, but nowadays it is crystal clear for any rational being that they are not only obsolete but a dangerous legacy that do more harm than good.
catbrainland 10y ago
tl;dr: nietzsche / machiavelli
TheLife_ 10y ago
TRP definitely employs the scientific method. We just don't publish papers and research to scientific standards. No point when we're collectively reaching our goals and sharing our experiences.
Glenbert 10y ago
More accurately, I think that if enough things here stop working for people this place will go away and a new one will arise. It's like with all the pickup artist tricks and tactics. They've gone mainstream so they no longer work and now people are looking for something different.
It's less of a matter of self correction and more of a matter of creative destruction.
user_none 10y ago
From a previously married guy's perspective, I like browsing /r/deadbedrooms as well. The one recommendation that has me cringe just about every time is, "Go to counseling." I'm sure there may be good counselors out there, though I wonder how many people know the abysmal success rates of marital counseling are, in terms of couples that stay together. It's been a few years, but I seem to remember the success rates being around 20-30% - that's horrible.
"Talk more!"
"Do more around the house."
"Take her on special dates."
Fuck that. Get your ass in shape if you're not already. Get off the couch. Fix shit around the house if you own one. Work on the car and get greasy. Lift heavy shit, be productive, break a mean sweat. Don't cower in fear that you may piss her off if you don't go with her every whim. Be the rock. Be the anchor of her ship in a storm. Most of all, own her in bed.
Hokuto199x 10y ago
That sub is very sad, but it was a great wake up call for me. I saw my relationship heading in that direction, and thanks to that sub I knew what wouldn't work. Would you take financial planning advice from a homeless guy? No. Plus a lot of their advice really reminded me of shit I'd already done that had only seemed to make matters worse. It wasn't long after that I found this sub. Finally - advice that made some fucking sense!
The politically correct bullshit doesn't get you what you want. To get what you want you have to understand (and embrace) reality rather than deny it. For a long time I thought maybe it was just me since all of the advice everywhere else echoed the same "communicate better" and "show more respect" and "do more for her" generic shit. How sad is it that this was the first place to tell me to consider it was okay to be a man? By that I mean a man that embraces his masculinity. Everywhere else tells me it's misogyny and patriarchy and rape culture to be the way I want to be, the way every instinct I have tells me to be. Totally ass backwards, IMO.
RandomHuman117 10y ago
http://i.imgur.com/XrYyAf2.png
This can't be real.
HS-Thompson 10y ago
That seems shockingly normal to me. Dude probably thinks he has everything locked down and stable, but doesn't realize that he needs to leave his women breathless and satisfied often or she'll be yearning for other cocks.
That's straight TRP theory right there, seems plenty real to me.
Mightyskunk 10y ago
This was my exact complaint about my wife until I discovered dread game. Now I get whatever I want, when I want, and with enthusiasm. Now my problem is that the other girl wants my dick, knowing full well that she is my wing man. Or, wing woman. Feast or famine.
zyk0s 10y ago
Have you considered she posted this to have people validate her and tell her to cheat/break up so her conscience can be alleviated?
rpscrote 10y ago
this man understands the hamster
BlackHeart89 10y ago
It could be. But it doesn't mean anything. Enough info wasn't given. The question is, how long has she had to go without sex before she seriously started to contemplate fucking some other dude.
If the guy is truly neglecting her, then thats on him. He's fucking up.
Cyralea 10y ago
She's probably a 4 or a 5 that got the attention of a 7-8 guy that wants an easy lay. Beta boyfriend at home is probably similarly a 4-5.
Dev_on 10y ago
Pragmatism isn't about speculation Stick to what you know and save the bias fantasy for somewhere else
Dev_on 10y ago
Pragmatism isn't about speculation Stick to what you know and save the bias fantasy for somewhere else
TattedGuyser 10y ago
Odds are shes a fat and homely and the invites out are just being polite. She wants the hot guy at the office to want to fuck her, but if your guy at home isn't doing it... chances are you've become boring and gross.
Crackertron 10y ago
You would be amazed at all the attractive women I work with who's husbands don't fuck them. Usually WOW or COD widows, or the guy is getting plastered as soon as he walks in the door from work.
TattedGuyser 10y ago
yeah I imagine it happens, but everyone acts like it's only the mans job to maintain all the attraction. If all she does is the starfish yeah I wouldn't fuck her either.
I should have put:
Hot chicks are awesome to screw once, twice or even 10 times, but once in an LTR, it takes more then a body to maintain attraction.
You're playing a dangerous game talking about sex with women at work. Be wary of the backstabbing that's almost sure to come.
TheThingsIThink 10y ago
They may be mentioning it to get some strange on the side. He ignores it, no problem.
Glenbert 10y ago
That is totally what's going on here. I was in a relationship with a woman like this once. She started putting on a lot of weight, and the fatter she got the more delusional she got.
Here's what really happened...
Hot guy from office: Okay everybody, let's go get some beers.
Other female coworker: What about, y'know, her.
HGFO: Oh right. I'll ask her to join, but only if you blow me later in the parking garage.
OFC: Oh Chad, you get me so wet.
[deleted]
widec 10y ago
Please, it's been like that for as long as I can remember it, and this account has been around for a while. If you can't separate the good from the bad, then you probably want to refrain from reading the subreddit.
1independentmale 10y ago
Fuck you, that was hilarious. Concern trolling used to result in a ban. Pity the mods are spread so thin these days.
Glenbert 10y ago
But I have 4 sentences! You said so yourself!
[deleted]
[deleted]
AbsoluteAltitude 10y ago
Don't like it? Then go away
dakkr 10y ago
I do like it though, I find it funny.
switchme808 10y ago
So you're here to make yourself feel superior to everyone right?
"haha these guys are so blinded by their red pill shit it's so sad glad I'm not one of them"
dakkr 10y ago
It's not really that, for me it's essentially the same thing as reading /r/tumblrinaction, but /r/theredpill is the opposite extreme of the spectrum. I wouldn't say I believe that I'm superior to you guys, I just find you funny that's all.
switchme808 10y ago
You saying this with a straight face? That's exactly the opposite of what your post I replied to implies.
dakkr 10y ago
Believe what you want man, makes no difference to me.
arabontour 10y ago
Social pressure man, she wants to more than anything in the world but society will view her poorly if they find out.
She'll probably just find a way to fuck dudes discretely then rationalise herself ("but I wasn't loved!") when she gets exposed.
trudatness 10y ago
If you want to be an all-star, then you gotta swing the fucking bat yo.
If she's pining to get fucked and you ain't fucking her - that's on you.
Part of being alpha is laying pipe. Dick game - have it.
Then again, this definitely could be the hamster trying to rationalize jumping back on the carousel. Not enough information here to go on, so taking her word on face value she wants cock - and he's not cranking it up.
Here's a clue fellas... If you're in a relationship where girly-girl loves the dick every time you give it to her, then you best be hitting that shit at LEAST 3 times a week MINIMUM. I'm thinking most men coming to this sub are everyday guys. You should be able to hit that shit every single day. Man up and put the pussy on blast, bros. Don't fuck around. Knock the bottom out of that pussy on every opportunity.
Don't give me the "I work hard and I'm tired" excuse. Git motherfucking gud. You should be a Sex God with a mighty and powerful cock that's putting her head on spin and giving her the wiggly giggle every time someone mentions your name.
If you ain't knocking a bitch out with dick, you ain't doing it right.
ThrobbinCorncob 10y ago
Good fucking lord this gave me a hearty chuckle because it's so true. +1 sir.
iStillEatSnakes 10y ago
Good point all around. The main thing that I get from this is not enough info. Too short of a blurb and we don't know wjat the guy has to say. If you got a girl who loves the D, make sure to give it to her.
[deleted] 10y ago
I would hit it once a day when I was with my exes. Bare minimum.
FrameWalker 10y ago
Hey how often do you fuck plates I've been sticking to the once a week by defaukt
trudatness 10y ago
Well I think plates are a different story. You're not with them all the time so I'd say 90% of your "get-togethers" need to include fornication - or else why you spinning the plate?
Relationships require regular maintenance as a general rule.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
HitlersCow 10y ago
Denying sex occasionally is incredibly powerful. I fuck on my terms, not hers.
Never say never.
trudatness 10y ago
It's all about giving her a steady dose of that vitamin D.
Slammin_Muff 10y ago
Your sexual innuendo game is fucking tight
trudatness 10y ago
Dude that shit gets you laid - no shit. You lace your subtle talk with a slight flavor of arrogance and sexual innuendo that's not cliche'd - defeating the shit tests with smirks and grinning chuckles 10/10 you will consistently put the biscuit in the basket.
I've used that shit for 25 fucking years - it's tried and tested. Married guy now - still do that shit to my wife and after we've been together for nearly 8 years now and she still lets me do crazy shit like grab her by the back of her hair and bust my nut everywhere.
You have to get your body tight in the gym, but that's only step 1. Out in the field you have to have that attitude matched with a quick wit that can spin their heads around. Fortune favors the bold. Smile, look her right in the eye like you both know she's going to cum hard later - IF you deem her worthy.
HitlersCow 10y ago
Curious: How old are you?
Also, as a younger guy (24), I see marriage as a lose-lose. What made you decide to marry?
Slammin_Muff 10y ago
Word to the wise right here man
PedophilePriest 10y ago
I agree with everything you said, except the 3 time minimum. Too low you can do that in one day. If your living together in a committed relationship, i'd go with a 7-10 time minimum.
Also knocking out girls with my dick is a pretty amazing feeling. That should be the goal every time you hit it.
trudatness 10y ago
When you get older and have kids and shit, logistics of hitting the trim start to become an issue. If it's just you and your girl - then hell yeah - every morning and every night 3 out of every 4 weeks.
For men in marriages with kids - I'd say 3 times a week is a hard floor, where more than that is ideal.
BeautyQuark 10y ago
I believe that 2-3 times is supposedly the average number of times per week. So yes that should be the hard floor. The other major difference when your married is learning to back off and please yourself.
I use to always leave my wife damn near unconscious from our sessions. Literally her entire body would go completely limp and she would not be able to move for 5-10 minutes. This would lead to a DECREASE in sex, as she just would not have the energy for a 1 to 2 hour fuckfest. I have made changes and now try to keep actual intercourse to almost always less than 20 minutes, and usually 5 to 15 minutes. She initiates more than I do, and will beg me to fuck her.
TL:DR In LTR game it is almost always better to err on the side of less orgasms than more orgasms for the woman. Make her chase the orgasms that she knows you have the power to give, and only occasionally unleash your full power. Be her SEX god, and remember too much of a good thing is probably unhealthy for her.
TheThingsIThink 10y ago
I find it hits streaks and patches. Morning/night/morning, then nothing for a few days, then Night/morning, a blowie a day later. I find telling my wife that I'm hard and there is no reason I should have to take care of it works. The biggest thing is I have to keep MY attitude about sex right, and she follows
[deleted]
Olipyr 10y ago
Agreed but the message is on point.
vox_veritas 10y ago
... says the guy with "mofo" in his name.
trudatness 10y ago
Lighten up francis. GTFO with the SJW tone police bullshit. The "Bro-language" was on purpose to give the post the emotional edge it needed.
Sometimes the correct vernacular can drive home a point - especially when you want to communicate attitude - because attitude is very much a part of my point.
[deleted]
trudatness 10y ago
I guess I'm a bro at heart and I give zero fucks about it. Doesn't make me retarded or stupid.
Attacks on "bro-culture" emanated from lesbian feminists who hate on masculinity in the first place. Remember that. Dudes wanting to create their own deal and have some laughs with coined language is somehow oppression and triggering to these infantile egocentric cunts. They attack anything that perpetuates free male thinking. "Bro-language" is all about heterosexual male culture - keeping shit light, fun while being able to cut real if necessary.
They want to label anything inherently masculine/male as dumb and negative. The truth is you can communicate very sophisticated ideas, emotions and attitudes writing in this style. Fuck them, you know what I'm saying? I write however the fuck I want. If I'm effectively communicating that high libido is an expectation inherent in alpha-type SMV males, and doing it in a way that seems emotionally authentic - then I did what I intended to do and fuck all the misandrist haters out there who can't deal.
kenatogo 10y ago
If you're speaking/writing a certain way because feminism, then you're still letting feminism dictate how you communicate, even though it's in opposition.
Wambo45 10y ago
That's a strawman. He never said he talked a certain way because of "xyz", he said he's not going to STOP talking a certain way just because "xyz".
trudatness 10y ago
You really can't defend trying to police how other people choose to speak. That's self-deluded, arrogant SJW bullshit.
I think my ability to communicate abstract ideas speaks for itself.
NeopolitanAfterglow 10y ago
Despite the downvotes, I agree with kenatogo. Your writing style is absolutely unreadable to me. Anytime I see bros and brahs and douchebag lingo I just have to stop reading. I will never listen to someone who puts themselves on that type of meathead pedestal.
kenatogo 10y ago
Just because someone disagrees with your methods doesn't make them an SJW, nor does it make them arrogant or any other labels/insults/whatever you want to attach to them.
[deleted]
Magnum007 10y ago
maybe this is his dread game in play, and it's workingEDIT: ok when put that way, I can see how I'm wrong
RojoEscarlata 10y ago
Making her want to be fucked by other guy isn't dread game
Quite opposite actually.
[deleted]
gekkozorz 10y ago
I ctrl-f'd "red pill" and surprisingly didn't get any results. This is usually one of those threads where someone will say "Wait, stop! Just because you used Red Pill tactics to get positive results, that doesn't mean TRP is a good thing! Don't go Red Pill, please, I'm begging you!"
Dreamtrain 10y ago
Look at the first post in DB's front page, you could literally re-phrase the title "Red Pill summarized" and everyone is agreeing
BluepillProfessor 10y ago
Dread does the body good.
Note that this was just subtle dread- self improvement, put yourself first, get in shape, stand up for yourself, get busy. There are a lot of people who think that "Dread" means sexting photos of you screwing some random hottie to your wife.
Dread is subtle and it is not cruel or capricious. Dread is completely necessary for any happy, normal relationship and they have lied to us about that fact for almost 50 years.
a_nus 10y ago
He's focusing on himself and getting a positive reaction from her? Abuse!
[deleted] 10y ago
I can't be the only person who finds it amusing how people who have a case of dead bedroom ask for advice on a sub that gives thems a higher chance to interact with others who suffer from the same exact thing.
That's like asking /r/burnedmyfood for advice on how to become a better cook or some shit. True, everyone at some point burned something but where is more likely to find the people who learned their lesson in order to learn from them?
Lt_Muffintoes 10y ago
The only advice one should take from failure is what not to do.
trp222 10y ago
Women's financial strategy of beta bux is amoral, so why shouldn't men use amoral sexual strategy?
SwissPablo 10y ago
It's pretty simple really: introduce a little uncertainty and mystery and it keeps a woman's interest. Too much communication just means you give all your power away.
[deleted]
raceAround126 10y ago
This is exactly how I found the red pill. I even posted this sort of thread on dead bedrooms
Screambloodyleprosy 10y ago
I stopped sleeping in the same bed as my wife, and this was one big reason (out of many). I'd rather be celibate than listen to endless excuses (often blaming me) and have my interest be interpreted as pressure. Actually it's not even "interest" that's pressure - me not doing or saying ANYTHING is "pressure" because "she can tell" I'm wanting more. However, it's pretty much celibacy for me now, and honestly it's better than the bullshit before. But unless that's acceptable to you, I wouldn't push the game too far - assuming other stuff is working well enough. Go ahead and get the lube but try to be real - be close. If SHE starfishes then you can just get up and say that's not what you want, and go do whatever you were going to do otherwise
Why is this guy even commenting? He could follow what OP has done and improve his situation, yet he is on here commenting about how to do things and he can't even do them himself!
justinsayin 10y ago
This also works unintentionally when guys get old enough that their drive naturally slows down.
Xbitz 10y ago
So many Virgins in that sub giving advice. lol
Upvote_To_The_Left 10y ago
This drives me crazy. if you are a virgin, you should be ashamed to give advice. shut up and get laid.
dakevs 10y ago
I like reading about success stories like this.
It seems like a lot of the posts I've been seeing seem to be negative.
JackGoldsteinWrites 10y ago
This is a non-story in my humble opinion.
The male versions of this already exist anyway (seekingarrangement, etc. )
Even if this takes off, men will learn to game it. That's the nature of men. They will reverse engineer the algorithm, either logically or intuitively, and game it, like they learned game for girls (i.e., dot their linked in profiles with the buzzwords).
[deleted]
iluminatiNYC 10y ago
I went back and read the original, and man am I feeling it. Dude isn't even anywhere near the Red Pill. He's just taking the hint of very blatant signs of a lack of interest. That homegirl wants him to hang around despite her rejecting him is a sign that she's a loser. I'm not sure I'd want her back after this. Dude needs to move on. I don't know how obvious the hints have to be. The wife buying a billboard saying that she doesn't want to fuck? LOL
shafe616 10y ago
I'm not entirely sure what the dread game is but I think I understand it enough. I've gone on 5 dates with a hot sexy girl over the bast 4 weeks, the dates are great and I get her to my home but she wont have sex with me..shes "not ready" and "doesn't want to get hurt again" so ive cut back on the attention (texts, calls, etc) and I get her saying she misses our chats, etc. Its hard for me to do play the dread game because im scared ill lose her but I know I must play it even more than I have been.
Glenbert 10y ago
Dread game has zero application to your situation. It's a strategy for LTRs.
PrivilegedOne 10y ago
Dread game is utilized more with longer relationships going stale rather than new ones while they're in the process of blossoming. Did you never read The Game? It sounds like you're struggling more with last minute resistances than anything else and that should be more towards where you need help than dread game.
Dread game works when people are more heavily invested in a relationship. When you haven't had sex yet though? She might think you're gay, not interested in her romantically, don't find her attractive, or you found someone else. She has no fucking clue which way it's going to be, and if you're pulling back and pulling dread, she has no way to find out. Now you've given her free time, haven't shown interest in a while, don't be too surprised if she finds another boyfriend while you're doing that.
vox_veritas 10y ago
You're exactly right. This is LMR, not a dread game situation.
shafe616 10y ago
Cool I'll look into last minute resistance. I am worried she will lose interest but I am also worried she will be turned off if I show her too much attention. Im trying to have her gain interest in me and create doubt in her mind, the push and pull technique. You're right tho, I think its time for me to "pull" and show her some more attention.
KyfhoMyoba 10y ago
Also consider that she's using you for BB. That she's not DTF after 5 dates means, to me, at least, that she's just not that attracted to you.
igotbeatbydre 10y ago
So you actually found a girl who isn't a hoebag and you're running dread game because of it? That's just stupid. Girls who are reserved like that are really hard to come by. I hate when girls say "i don't want to get hurt again" but she seems like the type of girl who wants a strong emotional connection before sex. Which is a good thing
shafe616 10y ago
On the contrary her saying "she doesn't want to get hurt again" means she has giving it up for alphas in the past and now she sees me as a beta who will accept this "shit" test and comply into her orbit?
igotbeatbydre 10y ago
That's agood point and that's why i don't like when girls say that. That's up to you to decide though
shafe616 10y ago
I agree but I'm worried that I will become stuck in her orbit and be the friend guy that supports her. I dont want to be another one of her beta freinds I want to be her alpha
vox_veritas 10y ago
Don't be fatalistic about it. If you want something, take the steps to make it happen.
igotbeatbydre 10y ago
Just make it clear what your intentions are. Kiss her. Hold her hand. Get a bj. Do everything else. If she starts treating you like a friend or doesn't give it up by a month or 2 then drop her.
shafe616 10y ago
Good advice I may have been jumping the gun with pressuring sex so soon. 2 months sounds like a good rule of thumb. I was told you don't want to be the one who "controls" the relationship, but I guess stating that you are looking for something more than friends isnt a bad idea.
MattyAnon Admin 10y ago
a month or 2? this is insanity.
You want to be aiming for 10-20 hours total time in her company. Group time counts. Bar time counts. Time alone counts. That's about 3-4 dates.
"Not ready" and "Don't want to get hurt" is classic "you are beta and I will make you wait". It's heading towards gf/bf but without the hot sex to get it started. You'll always be in second place.
To avoid being an orbiter simply don't be an orbiter. Don't be "doing stuff for her". Certainly not paying. Not too much attention. Don't be putting in everything and getting nothing. Do what you want and invite her along. Escalate. Make shit happen. Don't settle for second best.
It's not dread game if you're not in a LTR, but you should be covertly implying you're seeing other girls. Do this by seeing other girls and not denying anything. Do not be too overt about it.
Another classic beta behaviour is "not wanting to lose her". Alpha is "she doesn't want to lose me". Reality is a blend of both. Women play their cards close to their (lovely) chests, but do be aware of this dynamic.
Olipyr 10y ago
No such thing as jumping the gun. Own it. That's a sign of a confident man. Don't apologize for wanting sex with a hot woman.
The fact she keeps coming back is a good sign.
[deleted]
siegristrm 10y ago
Shit can backfire when they find out about your plates, etc. I was prepared to leave my wife of almost 9 years, and she knew something was up. Next thing you know we she ia saying she wants a divorce and we both sign the papers. My Dad convinces me that I don't want the possibility of some other man raising my daughters, which is true. So, yeah, I convinced my wife to stick it out a bit longer, but that dread game I played backfired.
Now It's a fresh start for me to set our relationship I want it to go. I got stuck in that from Alpha to Becoming beta while married mode.
Sucka that this sub isn't 100% universal though. It doesn't really apply to Asia Asians that aren't Americanized.
scholarly_pimp 10y ago
This got downvoted but I'm curious to hear more about this.
Say more about you being stuck in "that from Alpha to Becoming beta while married mode"
siegristrm 10y ago
Probably got downvoted for some Beta shit... which is fine. I know what I want. Probably a bunch of guys that think raising your own kids is beta or some shit.
Anyway, I have read FR about the same shit, so I know I am not the only person to experience this but... I will just explain the sequence of events.
I am a prior Marine and was 21 when stationed in Japan. I was 23 or so when I met my wife, but we didn't date nor talk much until 6 months later. About 2 months before meeting her I had a AF spouse Milf, A Marines Malaysian wife, and some Japanese girl as regular plates before plate theory probably existed (circa 2005). I started dating my wife and dropped all but one plate. My wife was a strong, dominant Japanese woman whom definitely had higher SMV back then. However, I had her paying my bills and a key to her house within a month (was getting 0 paychecks to owing backpay). We dated for 6 months, but I didn't want to leave Japan, so we made a contract marriage and continued to see each other. Around this time, I dropped my last plate. We were full on married mode now. First 3 years was smooth... fun vacations, good sex, etc. 4th year sex had a drastic decline , but were still able to get pregnant. Sex dropped more. I bitched, but didn't push. I , all around just started doing Beta shit. I turned into a housewife by day and work at night. My wife worked days and watches the kids at night.
I don't know if It's kids (specifically, 2 daughters) or what, but I went from a fit Marine spinning 3 plates to a housewife and I don't know how.
Also, Japan laws are still deeply in favor of mothers getting the kids. Which is why I can't just bail.