Here are some concrete tips you can use to inspire a healthy amount of dread in a relationship. I’ve been doing these and they’ve been working like a charm. You have to get these rolling from day #1:
(1) Don’t give her a straight answer when she asks “Is this serious?” or “Are you still seeing other girls?” Answer with a question: “Well, I’m spending pretty much all of my time with you, aren’t I?”
(2) Never friend her on Facebook, add her to your Instagram, or connect with her on any social media whatsoever, even deep into the LTR. Turn off read receipts on all of your messenger programs, and never use chat apps with her that say when you were last active. Never do voice calls or video chats with her. You’re untraceable when you’re not in her presence. Your life outside of her is your own, and it should be completely opaque to her. She’ll go crazy when you’re away. “What is he doing?! He hasn’t texted back for hours?! Is he with another girl?! I can’t track him at all!” She won’t be able stop thinking about when you’ll grace her with your presence again.
It’s crucial to never do voice calls or video chats with her, ever. If you voice chat with her when you’re free then it’ll mean something when you’re with another girl and you opt to text instead. She’ll know something is up, because you’re not answering the phone, and you’re texting instead. If you keep it strictly to texting 100% of the time then you deprive her of information. It’s not weird that you’re not picking up the phone, because you have literally never voice called with her, not even once. If she asks why then say you have phone anxiety, or something.
(3) Don’t cut her out of your in-person social life. Still invite her to social events with your friends. Since she’s excluded from your digital social life, getting a glimpse of your actual social life will be a blast for her. A night out bar hopping with your friends will be a huge treat. Be sure that your male friends are Alpha types who won’t be chatting her up beta style and trying to be BFF’s with her on Facebook. Your Alpha friends won’t invite her into your social media circles, because they won’t give a shit about her, just like they don’t give a shit about most women. Your beta friends might let her slip into your social media circles more easily, because they’ll think she’s oh so special and they’ll want to keep in touch with her. (Pro tip: try not to have too many beta friends).
(4) Always have somewhere to go so you can vanish if she disrespects you. Have a go-to bar. If you’re on a trip with her then have money in your pocket for a shitty hotel room so you can crash elsewhere. She’s allowed to express her preferences and debate with you about things, but she’s not allowed to be disrespectful, not even once. The moment she disrespects you say “OK, I think I’m going to leave now. Cya next time.” Then calmly walk out the door, head over to the bar, and crash elsewhere for the night. Don’t explain why you’re leaving, she’ll know. Don’t respond to the torrent of emotional text messages that will inevitably follow. At most wait a few hours and then respond “Chill your pants, I’ll see you next time.”
Remember that the trick to this is actually leaving for 24 hours. You’re not just threatening to leave in an attempt to coax an apology out of her, you’re actually walking out the door. Also remember that you’re not walking out the door in anger, you’re doing it calmly and for calculated effect. It’s a punishment. Your masculine presence is a reward for her. Getting to sleep in your arms is a reward for her. If she disrespects you, she loses your presence. You actually have to leave for this association to soak in for her. As a bonus, she’ll be going crazy wondering if you’re with another girl for the night, and she’ll be kicking herself for having driven you away. The next time you see her do not tell her anything specific about where you went. If you do this correctly that will be the one and only time she disrespects you.
(5) Talk to her openly about your plates, but in a playful way. She won’t be able to tell if you’re joking or not. Never bring it up yourself, but feel free to riff off of her about it when given the opportunity:
Her, after not seeing you for 48 hours: “So, when was the last time you had sex?” (Playful tone).
You: “Oh, you know, just last night.” (Sarcastic/flippant tone, even if it’s true).
Her: “Really?”
You: (make a silly face that doesn’t really mean anything).
Her: “Hey! No! Tell me! Did you really?!” (Worked up, but still happy).
You: “Who knows.”
(6) Protect your phone around her, even if you don’t actually have anything to hide (even more so if you do). For example, if you show her some random internet thing she’s going to want to take your phone from your hands to look at it. Don’t let her. If she ever gets a hold of your phone for some other inocuous reason then get it out of her hands ASAP. Make it so that your lock screen message alerts show no previews. When your friends are texting she’ll see that you’re getting messages, but not from who. She’ll wonder if it’s a side chick, especially because you’re so protective of your phone. If she asks you why you protect it say that you just like your privacy. If you do actually have a side chick then this should all be a given. At the very minimum you should occasionally be texting with some fresh prospects anyway.
(7) Talk down on people who have relationships (especially BP relationships) even if you’re very clearly in a relationship. Maybe your friend Ted vanished from your social circles recently because he found a new girlfriend. You’re hanging out with a buddy and your girl is there. Feel free to say “Fuck’n Ted, look at him being all Mr. Relationship now. Poof, he’s gone. Fuck that.” Later on she’ll shit test you by saying “Sometiems I wish you were more like Ted, and that you’d spent more time with me.” She actually doesn’t, and she’ll say that shit even if you’re with her full-time 6 out of 7 days of the week. As a bonus, when she says that you’ll know for certain that she sees Ted as a beta and doesn’t want to fuck him.
I’ve had girls tell me “You know, I’m 100% sure you’re cheating, but I have zero evidence. If you are cheating you’re really good at hiding it. I admire that.”
I’ll just grin, pause for a minute, and then say “thanks” in a confident but mildly sarcastic tone. She still won’t be able to tell if I’m joking or not.
Her: “Wait... are you really cheating?!”
Insanely hot sex will follow.
Remember that you can play these dread games even if you don’t actually have a side chick. If you do have a side then chick you’re hiding your side chick. If you don’t have a side chick then the act of pretending to be hiding a side chick shows your LTR that you’re high value and reserve the right to have a side chick.
bobeta 5y ago
I guess my problem with what you wrote is that I don’t want to do most of that shit. Like just spending a night in a hotel room because she pisses you off? That sounds awful. And sometimes I just want to call a girl; texting annoys the shit out of me.
The whole concept of purposely doing things to make her insecure in your relationship seems kinda evil, but moreso it just seems like a pain in the ass.
I find that expending that extra energy to simply attract more women on the side is a better use of your time. If a girl is being juggled she’ll certainly get an inclination.
I’m not saying you’re wrong or that anything you wrote here won’t work. I just think there are other ways to get the result you want.
[deleted]
partyboob305 5y ago
I feel you and as nice as I want to be to my ltr and tell her all the nicest things about her that i truly feel — shes fucking glued to me waiting to have my babies and ive been nothing but dread gaming the fuck outta her from the beginning like 7 months ago. Shit works unfortunately, loves a motherfucker
Quaternionz 5y ago
And yes, these strategies are indeed “evil.” But this is how you fight hypergamy, and if hypergamy isn’t evil then I don’t know what is.
Fight fire with fire.
You’re not making her insecure about her safety in the relationship. You’re making her insecure about her judgment of your SMV. She’s not flipping out and going crazy with panic about if you’ll abandon her or not, she’s flipping out and going crazy about trying to pinpoint your SMV.
KeffirLime 5y ago
Keep the morality out of it. It either works, or it doesn't.
A large portion of the Red Pills advice is in-congruent with what most people want to do.
Most guys would love to tell their partner how special they are all day, most guys would love to cut off all women and simply be blissfully devoted to one. Most guys would love to share their feelings and pour their heart out to their partner.
However, what we want does not not always lead to what we want. What I mean by that is, that the individual steps we desire to take does not always lead to the end result we desire. A guy may dream of playing in the NFL, but wants to spend his days playing xbox. No matter how much he wants it, playing xbox will not lead him there.
Some goes for your girlfriend, you may not want to do all these things like dread, abundance, leading but then you have to be prepared to have a woman who may not be loyal, will not treat you how you desire and may not love you the way you want.
It's for each and every person to individually decide what they want more, xbox or NFL, and either way must be prepared for the corresponding results.
partyboob305 5y ago
Took the words right outta my mouth here
tchower 5y ago
It’s hilarious to me how relationship value between the genders is inversely correlated according to dread, but it actually makes sense and explains female behavior these days. The less valuable she becomes, the more valuable you become. Another reason why feminism was a terrible idea and so many woman are becoming misandrists.
Quaternionz 5y ago
At first it was pretty hard for me to suppress the urge to say “No baby, you’re the only one, I haven’t been sleeping with any other girls.”
You certainly can’t be honest if you are cheating either. It’s a no-go to tell your LTR “Yes, I fucked someone else two nights ago. Her name is Stacey and she’s 22. We did it at her place at 7pm after drinks. Hope that’s OK.”
Then it finally hit me that the correct behavior isn’t honesty. The correct behavior is to give a vague non-answer and playfully mess with her.
Regardless of what the reality is, you make it seem like you could be cheating. Then she gets to decide in her own head how to take it. If she feels like she wants the validation that day she’ll think “Nah, he’s just messing with me. He’s been with me the whole time, he’s mine.” If she’s looking for the excitement that day she’ll think “Fuck, he does go away from time to time. Maybe he is fucking someone else occasionally. I have to find out! How do I find out?!”
You’re giving her a pick-you-own-adventure fantasy story book.
BP-style honesty used to feel natural to me, but now it feels flat and gross. I’d sooner stab myself through the hand with a pen than tell my LTR honestly whether I am or am not cheating. It’s such a huge missed game opportunity. By being honest you deprive her of a lot of the excitement that she craves.
noct3rn4l 5y ago
u/quaternionz Unlike these peasants i have no moral quandaries about the above methods. This post’s golden, #2 had me laughing my ass off. Turn off read receipts. So petty i love it, and undoubtedly effective. Never talk on voice or vid chat is a nice touch too. Although for my rationale id avoid the anxiety bit and stick with something playfully ridiculous like “no tongue”. Let me know when you figure out how to get them to stay in their room all day and knock when they need to eat.
KeffirLime 5y ago
Yeah I suspect most people have an issue with the morality of your methods than the actual content, I haven't seen anyone go after an actual point and try and disprove it's efficiency.
Your comment for example is classic dread - reducing comfort and amplifying abundance and it'll work, but you're not being all that "nice" to her, and it mentions cheating.
Dread is one of the toughest aspects of the red pill for some. It doesn't come naturally, and it doesn't exactly entail being nice. Most have spent their lives being super nice to women and it rips at their core to resist it.
The paradox is she wont love you more for it and she certainly wont reward your honor. In fact in my experience women being dreaded are happier, more loving and generally much nicer people. They filter out their bad behaviors all on their own for fear of losing you.
It's precisely why we don't discuss morality on this sub. It either works or it doesn't, we don't worry about whether it's nice, that's up to the individual user to decide.
AloofusMaximus 5y ago
It's paradoxical because most people still WANT to be monogamous (including a great deal of men here), and try to feign dread. I think a lot of what the OP wrote was completely unnecessary, because if you ACTUALLY have multiple women (and she knows she's not "it") then there's literally no need, none, to put up with any bullshit or nonsense.
Dread happens only up until the point where you have the talk..where either she suspects it, or you're lying to her.
KeffirLime 5y ago
I think OP is talking more about being in an LTR and dreading said LTR to yield more investment.
Dread happens only after the talk, or it only really matters after the talk.
AloofusMaximus 5y ago
Your talk and mine are different then. Cause after I have "the talk" with a woman she knows for certain that I'm never promising her sexual exclusively.
Before hand she suspects, afterwards she knows for sure. That's why my MLTR always has her A game on, she knows I spend time with her by choice (not necessity).
KeffirLime 5y ago
That's subtle dread then. There's things you probably do other than telling her directly that allows her to know she doesn't have your entire committed comfort. Those things are dread.
Quaternionz 5y ago
The hotel room thing isn’t just a ploy. You do actually go to the bar, hit on other girls, socialize, stay out late, and then go pass out alone at 3am. You’re temporarily de-investing in her and having a “you night,” because she disrespected you and doesn’t deserve an “us night.”
Maybe you do actually find a higher quality girl when you’re out, and then your LTR has to genuinely fight an up hill battle to get your attention back.
You leave because a “you night” is genuinely better for your life than an “us night” unless your LTR girl is being unwaveringly obedient and respectful.
At this point in my life these strategies come naturally to me because I am actually fucking lots of girls, and I’m so fed up with relationships that they’re honestly not worth it unless they’re 99.999% perfect at all times.
ReturningSpider 5y ago
This is unbelievably shitty advice. If she sees you as a high value man, as long as you're not overly clingy some base level of dread will always exist.
Good 'dread game tactics', for the most part, would just be embellishing on things that are true and things you would be doing anyways with or without her.
More than that however, they are something you only need to pull out once in a while to poke at her. If you do it all the time, she will either get used to it (and it will stop having the desired effect) or more likely she'll get sick of your LARPing and go looking for dick elsewhere.
Thisismybot8 5y ago
Yeah this post is incredibly shit advice. OP has either never been in a long-term relationship or has only dated psychotic bitches that might tolerate this for a bit. I've been red pilled for maybe 7 years and in an LTR for over 4. Being this much of a blatant asshole won't get you very far.
Edit: I don't know why common sense is being downvoted lol
partyboob305 5y ago
You know how i know youre not red pilled? You say youre redpilled...
womans_algorithm 5y ago
You know how i know youre not white? You say you are white...
BusterVadge 5y ago
This stuck with me. I agree, but it's hard. 90% or more of modern men are beta AF. Even in my line of work (sales) and circle of friends it's mostly beta men.
How do you keep your social circle mostly alpha? That seems impossible to me.
Quaternionz 5y ago
It is indeed difficult to find Alpha male friends.
My strategy is to go to night life venues or bars, and to make connections with guys who are chill, in shape, quietly confident, and can get female attention but don’t really seem to be looking for it.
Things to avoid:
Extreme dark triad guys. The guy who is on a coke trip and is aggressively bullying everyone will usually have some female attention, but he’s not great friend material.
Guys who have zero female attention. He might seem like a good dude, he might even be confident and well put together, but if chicks don’t dig him he’s not an Alpha. Girls have a way sharper nose for this.
Solid Alpha friends will have bros-before-hoes attitude because they’re already sex satisfied. If the dude literally brushes away female attention to keep the hangout male-centric, then you’re solid.
American_DangerLog 5y ago
In my experience, i’ve vetted my friends by throwing little TRP tidbits in conversation. Not full blown Red Pills but just a little something. If they don’t agree or are on the fence about it, drop them faster than you would a hot potato. If they agree they are probably worth hanging out with and picking up chicks. Surprisingly enough a lot of guys in my age range (i’m 20) are slowly becoming RP’d. Even introduced quite a few to the side bar with success.
Flying_Wingback 5y ago
I did the disappearing act overnight when I used to date my neighbor and it worked wonders lmao
buttgoogler 5y ago
Oof, bad move.
Actually, most of those are bad moves.
[deleted]
McVaghunter 5y ago
Real redpilled men build a herd of harem instead of wasting time plying
dreadpretend games with their one and only option (aka LTR).Compromisers will tell you that spinning plates requires hard work but in reality everything in the is sexual game will require them hard work because their SMV is average at best.
Quaternionz 5y ago
Yes, actually having the haram is better, and makes the the dread games come naturally. If you don’t have a haram yet then fake it ‘till you make it.
noct3rn4l 5y ago
He uses the term LTR in the post but this seems most effective for a hot high quality plate that you want to keep spinning indefinitely (by effectively reducing her hypergamy thru dread) but that isnt quite up to snuff for whatever reason.
tempolaca 5y ago
Dude you sound like a psycho.
Quaternionz 5y ago
Thanks, I’ll take that as a compliment. That’s the intended effect.
[deleted]
AutoModerator 5y ago
Just a friendly reminder that as TRP has been quarantined, we have developed backup sites: https://www.trp.red and our full post archive (and future forums) https://www.forums.red/i/TheRedPill. Don't forget to register on TRP.RED and reserve your reddit name today. Forums.Red is currently locked but will be opened soon.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
kalashnick 5y ago
Honest question: What's to stop her from seeing other men if she suspects you of seeing other women?
KeffirLime 5y ago
This is a beta fallacy peddled by bloops and women. Abundance yields more investment, not less.
SeasonedRP 5y ago
That isn't what happens. Instead, she tries harder to snare you. I agree with the OP that you shouldn't be blatant about it. Letting her imagination run wild is one thing, whereas being outright disrespectful isn't a good idea.
Quaternionz 5y ago
For starters, she knows I’ll leave if I find out. She respects the boundaries I set for her, because she respects me generally.
If you do all this right you get absolute 100% submission from the woman. She’ll be texting you randomly with nudes saying that she wants to be your house wife sex slave, chained up with a collar on and getting her brains fucked out 24/7 when she’s not too busy cooking for you. (Have have this offer multiple times, genuinely, and not just as a temporary bedroom fantasy).
Also, when a woman feels that she’s secured a commitment from an Alpha she genuinely won’t want to see other men. The male fantasy is unlimited access to unlimited sex with unlimited women. The female fantasy is impenetrable resource security from an Alpha who she’s nesting with, and having babies with.
Feminism has convinced women that the unlimited-sex fantasy is a female fantasy by depriving the world of Alphas generally, sacking women with Beta hubbies, and then making women feel the need to go on a sex quest in search of an Alpha. Wanting unlimited sex is a state a woman can be in, but it’s not her ideal happy state.
If she thinks you’re literally the best she can ever do then she won’t want to fuck other guys.
The fact that you’re probably fucking other girls won’t be a deal breaker. If you do the dread right it’ll even be hot for her. Or you can swing it into threesomes or some sort of polygamy.
She needs to have:
1) The confidence you’ll never leave her 2) Resource security 3) The certainty you’re an Alpha
If she has those three she won’t want to fuck other other guys, even if you’re fucking other girls. Women only want to fuck other guys if they’re missing 1, 2, or 3.
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
Your_Coke_Dealer 5y ago
This is good advice to maintain a woman’s interest using dread. This is also terrible advice when either used in the long term or all at once. In other words, it’s great for short term relationships but will fail you in 3-6 months.
Why? If you apply heavy dread or apply dread for too long, she’ll feel like shit being with you. Then come the comfort tests, where she’ll actually want to see a little bit of the beta traits to feel secure. And then you break plates because of demonstrating in no uncertain terms that you don’t give a shit about her and/or are playing games.
In general, you give women the tingles of excitement by not giving a shit. This plays on their desire to go into your frame and impress you, or seek to tame you. But excitement won’t keep her around because it’s fucking terrifying or exhausting to be in a constant state of excitement for that long. Eventually she’ll give up with the trying to tame you. A small amount of beta comfort is needed to reassure women to stay around.
That said, if you don’t want a LTR of any sort, you don’t have any desire to be managing a roster of bitches, you only lease short-term, etc., then carry on with dread because it does work for a while
partyboob305 5y ago
Youre wrong its been working great for me for 8 months
WuTangAyri 5y ago
So you're saying to never add an LTR to any of your social media? Unless you live in a cave this is going to be really fucking weird and not look good on you lol
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
Th3V3rg3 5y ago
Make her think you're cheating on her. That could end badly FYI, perhaps prepare for her to take it the wrong way and bang a bunch of dudes.
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
THEdirtyDotterFUCKr 5y ago
4 stuck a nerve with me, I agree with OP. Regarding the go-to bars I have a few that are my own, I do not invite friends or take dates there, nor am I a regular. These are just hole in the wall joints I can decompress, people watch and perhaps pick up a broad. These places I might frequent twice a year each.
​
Regarding leaving for 24 hours, I think it is situational. Sometimes 12 hours will suffice, others a full week. Only once did I have one act out on a trip, I calmly told her "I do not put up with bitches" as I walked out. This was long before texting was a thing, and cell service did not work because we were out of country. I got another hotel, picked up another broad a day later and hung out with her until my flight. Which I upgraded my seat to first class so my ex would have to see me when she finally got to board.
​
I still laugh when I recall hearing the ex complain to the stewardess "there's a mistake! I'm supposed to be sitting with him!"