There have been many links tied to single mothers raising blue pilled sons and one common narrative that is seen in my observation is young men having to "man up" in the absence of their father and instilling a provider mindset that often carries into adulthood.
*****
Quick background on myself for context: My father was in the military service well before I was born up until the point that I was 16. He often traveled as a result so at the age of 7, he dropped me and my family in our hometown as he continued to travel around. My parents were still together this entire time but as I was lucky to see him a few times a year maximum during this time, my mother was not a "single mother" in the traditional sense but the affects on my upbringing were all the same as if she was minus the providing of his income (which might as well have been child support payments in light of this)
From a young age I was extremely rowdy. I took no shit from anyone, I took what I wanted and was extremely ambitious. Through out my upbringing though this was slowly beaten out of me under the narrative of "manning up." When my father would leave for duty I was named defacto head of the household. What this led to is me instilling beliefs in myself that it was my duty to forgo doing the things I wanted to do to stay home and take care of my mother and several sisters. While the other boys were out playing games, socializing, doing the things young boys should be doing, I was playing the role of protector of the house hold. To add to this I have an extremely doting and needy mother so I was sheltered from doing most things a young man should be doing at this age.
While at the time I thought it was for my own best interest, after coming to the red pill and seeing things how they are, I came to the shocking and slightly disturbing fact that I had been turned into a sort of pseudo husband in his absence. My sole purpose was to fulfill the emotional and attentive role he would have filled and I was being blocked and dissuaded from living my own life to fill this role. Also of little help was the fact that my father is pretty alpha in his own sense but for the limited times that he was around took absolutely no role as head of the house hold and assigned all decision making both of me and the house to my mother. I guess he decided it wasn't his place to since he was rarely there or because he simply didn't care to. In either case the reasoning is void.
School was no better as maybe 90\% of my teachers were women, as well as all the head positions like principal. These women often dissuaded manly behavior and even punished it. It was an extremely equalist environment and so from a young age well into adulthood I was taught to be subservient to women and my sole purpose was to take care of their emotional needs and follow their rules often at the expense of my own life and happiness.
As you can imagine, this carried over into the limited relationships that I had. Whenever I would peruse a woman or even stumble my way into a relationship (I'm decently attractive looking by conventional standards and often I would temporarily attract women from appearance alone until my deep blue pilled conditioning behavior quickly drove most away,) I entered into them with the same frame that was instilled into me from the time that I was a boy. From the frame of "manning up" I learned from my mother and father and teachers. My default relationship with women was to be subservient, doting and to provide.
As for how this related to my Red Pilled journey and the theory I'm proposing today, eventually after many failed attempts at relationships, I was blessed to stumble upon the Red Pill. I was lucky to find it at the time that I did because all my previous experience and observations had me in a place to be fully receptive to everything I was reading with very little hesitation on my point. My first thought was that I had a lot to learn, which was and still is true but further into my journey I started to see that a lot of what I needed to do was to UNLEARN bad habits that I had picked up and as opposed to learning new ones. As I said, when I was a boy I was extremely ambitious, self motivated and drew boundaries on anyone that got into my way. I was shamed into becoming a slave. I remember often being told that I was selfish, that I thought of nobody but myself and that I wasn't being a "man" by not accepting responsibilities that were never my own to begin with. It wasn't as much that I needed to learn my alpha behaviors but that I need to unlearn the beta behaviors that were beaten and shamed into me my entire life, for the sole purpose of pleasing and fulfilling women's needs.
*****
In conclusion often when boys and men come from single mother household, they make their mother and women as a whole their priority. Either by their own hand or their mothers. Often their red pill journey will be one of unlearning what they have known their entire lives and reinstalling a sense of self and becoming comfortable with making their own life their priority. They must relearn what it truly means to "man up."
livefast06 5y ago
I had a single mother. Should have died multiple occasions, almost failed highschool, almost got expelled and arrested from/in highschool, almost got arrested for theft multiple times (cops coming to my house for stolen items, etc.), I am very lucky I didn't get someone pregnant. It took me a long time, learning the hard way, how to navigate through this life on my own. I know not having a strong male presence in the home had something to do with that. My sister came out with BPD. If you don't want kids, don't have them. Otherwise stay in your kids' lives and help the mother raise them. The future literally depends on it.
RPADHDthrowaway 5y ago
I had much the same situation.
My mother left me and my father when I was around 7, effectively abandoning us both for several years. Later I ended up living with her (ofc Dad had no choice but to play along, with the legal system stacked against him), as soon as I began living with her I was forced to take much the same role as you described, in addition to constant lifting and carrying, as my mother is possibly the lest physical person in existence. “You have to help me! I can’t lift this!” “Sorry, we don’t have enough money for that” (because she spent it all on something pointless ) and “Your step father is such a man child because he won’t commit to me” were the common refrains throughout my childhood.
It is a daily battle to unlearn the beta conditioning beaten into me , not to mention the unresolved hatred I bear twords my mother for abandoning my father and I, and then taking me away from him when I needed him the most.
Most of my post pubescent life I have actively fled from interaction with women because I expect them to betray me like my mother did to my father. I fear I may have a deep seated hatred for women because of my childhood. Certainly, I’ve never been able to maintain any sort of healthy relationship with them.
I’ve honestly no idea what to do about this. I hope to get therapy when I have more money, and with the help of my father, who thankfully is there for me as much as he can be.
metallicdrama 5y ago
Women we fuck aren’t worthy of our love. And that doesn’t come from hate. Our children are worthy of our love. Our dogs are worthy of love. But the women we fuck or even have kids with we need to be completely indifferent towards emotionally and objective about. That doesn’t mean hate them. But you don’t owe any woman shit. If she has your kids respect that fact and raise your kids. But she isn’t anything other than someone who will mismanage whatever money you give her and conscript whatever labor you allowbher.
HierEncore 5y ago
sounds like the "step father" plated her.
RPADHDthrowaway 5y ago
In his own way, he most certainly did. From the age of 11 I was able to see the writing on the wall, and told my mom he would never commit to her. Of course, she never listened.
That said, he was actually always cool to me. Dude taught me how to shoot and a bunch of other things.
[deleted]
HierEncore 5y ago
Both your parents sound like extremely self-serving narcissists. Your father managed to fail HORRIBLY as a father. He neglected your upbringing and paternal needs, his only son, for a fucking career. Yes he paid bills, but that is expected of ALL PARENTS. He fucked up severely and opened you up to abuse from your mother, teacher, and all the other people who took advantage of your lack of self-confidence and male guidance.
Boys who grow up without their fathers physically present end up feeling like it is somehow their fault and like there is something wrong with them. Leaving these kids exposed to all sorts of abuse and manipulation. This often carries into adulthood. You sound like you've improved yourself a great deal, but sorry to say sounds like you had shit parents.
CoraliePeach 5y ago
Being forced into an adult role as a child is horrible for both sexes. My parents being abusive, and my dad especially being abusive to my mom, and her constantly needing validation, which she got via suicide threats... I thought it was my role to become her therapist. As young child, and continuing until I moved out. It really fucked me up.
metallicdrama 5y ago
Holy fuck. Reading that made me grab a beer.
[deleted]
conflagratorX 5y ago
Yeah my mother was pulling me into adults life since I remember. She was even telling me when she refused to have sex with my father. How fucked in the head you must be to tell your children such things?
She was constantly turning me against my father so when I was 20 and I had good job prospects I threw him away from home and became breadwinner for my lazy ass mother.
And till 27 years old I thought that it was normal and every kid probably had similar experiences. All of these fucked me up hard. I always thought there is something really wrong with me but I was focusing on my carrier so I was able to keep my sanity. But I had to finally crash so I fell into my first suicidal depression. Then I went into therapy where therapists made me realize that my mother basically took away my childhood by pulling me into things that child should not experience. On emotional level is the closest thing to sexual abuse. And no wonder why I was later diagnosed with borderline personality disorder which is really rare in men. Now I am focusing on unscrewing myself from this.
RivenHalf 5y ago
The experience of a man is truly universal as this place has taught me. My mother didn't initially use suicide as a threat until I was much older and preparing to move out. That was her last ditch effort to keep me, "If you leave me I might kill myself."
It truly amazes me how similar so many experiences are. Good luck to you my man.
magx01 5y ago
I think so many of us share the same experiences because there are certain few personality types that everyone falls into. There are like 6-10 "types" of people and once you figure out which one someone is you can literally predict close to every action they make and most things they will say. We like to think we're these complicated independent unique snowflakes but there's really only like like 8 people repeated across billions with different faces.
[deleted]
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 5y ago
Do what you want. Go live your life dude.
She's not going to kill herself, and if she does its because she's fucked up, not because its your fault.
Your mother is not implying she's depressed, she isn't looking for help. She's using the threat of suicide as a method to control you. Its absolutely disgusting. Sorry to say dude, but your mother is despicable in my books.
CoraliePeach 5y ago
My point being, child abuse is horrible. The effects can last your entire life. And emotional abuse should not be so easily discounted. It's much harder to identify than physical, so it's harder to make it stop, even in an adult relationship. When parents put their kids in a provider or therapist type role, it really fucks up their perspective on what a healthy relationship looks like.
Satisfaction- 5y ago
I was that therapist child for both of my parents, hilariously. In private, they both complain about each other to me. I don't know if they realize they both do this. (Still do.) What's a guy to do about this though?
CoraliePeach 5y ago
Get your own therapist, for one. They can advise you on the best way to handle it. My own thought is usually to tell them to stuff it and/or cut them off. Stand up for yourself, if it's at all a feasible option. And still get therapy if you feel like you need it, for all the years they used you as their personal sponge x.x
For me, it's actually been a bit of a plus in some ways. I can emotionally compartmentalize to the extent that I'm practically a psychopath at times. As a kid, I could empathize with people very strongly, but I developed the ability to turn it off most of the time. So now I can listen to peoples problems and then go home and get a good night's sleep lol.
One example I usually talk about is when I was about 15. My dad had just left after his abuse had come out, my mom was devastated after 30 years of marriage, and my older siblings had gone to the 4 winds, leaving me all alone with her. One time, I talked her down from suicide, and went right back to writing a paper.
Satisfaction- 5y ago
I get what you mean. I was incredibly stony and unemotional all throughout my teenage years. I found that I opened up a lot more after 20. I'm doing really well right now, though. I'm in a new city, I know no one, but I'm riding a productivity wave from digesting the pill. It's amazing how much time you have in a day if you get away from bad habits.
My escape from all the family issues was always video games, and it's a habit that I've carried all the way through my early 20s that I'm just starting to shake off now.
Maybe there's people out there that can moderate their usage, but I sink to the depths of laziness and unmotivated lifestyle if I get a chance to. I have to be so vigilant with myself, otherwise I'll throw away a day just for some cheap, low effort thrills.
I can't imagine what i'd be like on hard drugs!
CoraliePeach 5y ago
Yeah, that's why I tend to avoid video games. I feel like if I start playing them I'll never have time for the other stuff I want to do.
I'm not unemotional at all. I just don't "feel" bad for people. I don't connect with their pain if I don't want to. It's what I used to get through breakups, and to get away from my abusive ex. I felt really fucking bad for him, but I powered through it until I felt happy about it, managed to disconnect from his suffering. Because if he hadn't been so shitty to me, he wouldn't be suffering at all.
[deleted]
[deleted] 5y ago
I relate to this, except for me I had the huge advantage of not knowing english and so my childhood rowdiness was beaten out of me by social isolation.
After all, how do you socialize when people think you're dumb and can't speak english. my classmate in elementary school (when I first arrived in US) came up to me and goes "are you retarded?" in a genuine, kid sincere (naive) way.
So I think a lot what I had to do as a young adult was to relearn how to get social and not be afraid that people will leave me mid conversation... It's almost a subconscious thing to be "pulled out" of a conversation because I feel like people won't care what I have to say. Sometimes my mind would just go absent and start retracting. The reason being, that I was so used to being alone that I developed other hobbies to compensate... so it takes a conscious effort to redirect my attention again to the outside world and it's inhabitants.
You can say I am an introvert. I'll tell you that's not exactly true. It's was more about my upbringing and being caged in a suburban home than it is solely about my personality. As I stated earlier, I was rowdy before coming to the U.S. So if introversion is a personality, then I'm saying it is shaped by the environment... which means extroversion could be shaped too. In another words, I find that I could train myself to be extroverted. It helps in business. That's why I can't stand it when people resign themselves as introverted. They're missing the huge advantage of being both.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is... people don't have to be what they were bought up to be. If a person was bought up to be an emotionally supportive beta to his mother because of a lack of a man in her life... he can also learn how to be an alpha man with a clear mission, powerful skills, and physically aesthetic body. He doesn't have to set a limit on his mind by labelling himself as a bitch because science says he's an introvert and that's what he's going to be. He has the choice to be "irrational" and become the top 1% of 1%. Even if he grew up with a single mother and had to learn english from scratch, he can still be social and have friends if he works at it.
Just my opinion. Why do I feel like somebody is going to take my last point as offensive.
[deleted]
yomo86 5y ago
This is not womanly advise it it self-perseverance. A son who is either financially stripped by a woman or who invests solely in a woman will not invest in mom. Especially since mom is not even capable of fulfilling the easiest womanly tasks such a cooking anymore, thanks to feminism.
FMIBMW 5y ago
Ditto.
My mom is a widow (dad was an alcoholic and smoker)
I fucked up and had a kid at 21 - she witnessed me go from a man on a mission (college, work, lifting, etc..) to a dad bod college dropout. Just today she slammed me with harsh redpill truths:
"Son, the family and I love you and want the absolute best for you. We are not going to help you financially in this mess YOU created with every opportunity to walk away from in the beginning - You will face the courts on your own and own up to your actions. We support you through this and will help you with your daughter however you need to move on from your toxic ex, stop focusing on her/chump boyfriend that won't last, and move forward in a positive direction. You used to look good, be happy, and independent - get back on that and you will eventually attract the RIGHT women for you to have a family with, not a little girl like your ex. Now man up."
Single moms sometimes spit the harshest RP material.
The_Chiselnator 5y ago
Actions not words.
What women say is just bullshit. Forget it. What are the actions?
The_subtle_learner 5y ago
My mother says exactly the same. Grew up with her and a little sister.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
She's right, but it's so rare to hear good advice like this from mothers. They usually downplay female avarice.
pmvail 5y ago
It’s telling that this mom would admit this to her son. She knows the default of most women and is warning her son using the knowledge she has of females.
j_arbuckle2012 5y ago
Women are Wonderful effect. Well documented.
It is extremely rare to get solid relationship advice from female family members.
n-esimacuenta 5y ago
It depends, in my third world my female familiy members told me exactly that.
Never marry a women from a poor family, she will try to get them out of poverty at your expense.
No single mothers, they are so desesperate to hook a man that they will temp you with everything.
Never marry a non-university educated women (that includes homemakers), your new family will need the extra income.
Watch out women, they will behave nice but they will change once married
Common sense wisdom, not PC in America.
PD: One more from my male math teacher
metallicdrama 5y ago
If you’re lucky a male relative isn’t a complete moron and will tell you some truth. I was lucky. My dad told me it all way before I could understand it. I know tons of dudes who got shot guidance from their dads and wound up just as fucked as they were.
The_Chiselnator 5y ago
It has a clinical name: Covert incest.
Or emotional incest.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_incest
conflagratorX 5y ago
It is a fucking good name. On emotional level closest thing to sexual abuse.
chaseexcellence 5y ago
I was raised by a widow mom. She never dated or remarried after my dad died. My mom was a perfectionist and she rasied me as a blue pill child. It came back to haunt me. After swallowing the red pill, my mom and I have some major fights now about life and how she raised me. I wish she would have been a mom who would have taught me about what women are really like. I have realized my mom has a teenager mindset. Women are just grow teenagers.
Sumuran 5y ago
I guess I'm lucky. My dad spent most of my life in and out of jail. My mom never trash talked on him. Didnt try to alter our perceptions of him. When he get out, shed tell him to spend time with us. My mom worked 12 hour days to provide for my brother and I and basically taught us that we need to look out for ourselves first because no one else is going to. She didnt force religion down our throats. She gave us a lot of leniency in regards to making our own decisions. I know my mom would have loved to be a stay at home wife and mother, but that wasnt the hand she was dealt and so she did the best with what she could.
VisionsofGandhi1 5y ago
She sounds like a great mom
unclecrumble 5y ago
Jesus fucking Christ I can relate to this all to well. My mom was a psycho who couldn’t parent her kids without freaking out about trivial bullshit. My brother and I suffered endlessly and nothing was ever her fault no matter what happened. There were times when we would fight all day for weeks on end. She was constantly riding my ass trying to make me subservient but I never once l showed her respect because frankly she never deserved it. My mom acted like a child and manipulated my grandmother into giving her money all the time because she was affluent. I saw first hand what happens when a woman is in charge and that shit is plain fucking scary.
I basically had to learn to cook at 11 and am now a sous chef at 25. She forced me to become a man because my father wasn’t around and I had to constantly assert myself. I became very used to confrontation with women at a young age. Nowadays I’m told by women that I’m scary. I think what happens is they can see that I know their true nature and that’s what scares them. I suffered for 19 years under that woman’s grasp and wouldn’t you know that now my brother and I barely talk to her and she acts like we’re the assholes. She never made a good decision once in her life. I distinctly remember multiple occasions of her simply forgetting to pick me up from football practice but that was somehow the coaches fault or mine. I hate that woman and I always will but the things she taught me about woman are so valuable I should be thanking her. She really showed me that men should ultimately be in charge and left unchecked a woman will destroy everyone around her before she destroys herself.
metallicdrama 5y ago
Brother from another mother. Women are intimidated by men like us. Because there are the guys who are relatively alpha because life was easy and they were well provided for and basically have confidence and options. They can get pinched and shaken down and it’s no big deal.
Then there are the guys like us who don’t have as much margin for error in life and KNOW that women are sick and will squeeze what little you have on a whim. And we don’t even pretend to give a fuck about their their acts and our limbic systems just put out that award as fuck and fuck your bullshit vibe no matter how hard we try to play.
Most women are used to either a guy who plays along because he doesn’t have to cover his downside as hard, or because they’re idiots. Very rarely do guys emerge from a single mom like a Marine Recruit who made it and knows at the cellular level that you’re not a fucking man if she’s in charge of anything other than the stove.
I feel you bro. My mom has ruined everything she had ever touched in her life and mine and has yet to finish destroying the family wealth she inherited after being a loser her whole life. I likely will have to tell my Aunt to fuck herself and she can pay for the funeral lol. Women are cancer. We are the cure.
unclecrumble 5y ago
It’s nice to see there’s more dudes going through the struggle out there. It really does feel like I survived a war man shit is crazy. You made a lot of points that resonate with me and my situation. I get the feeling I’m too intense for most women..they are very turned on but also hesitant to approach. I’ve also been told I’m very blunt which is because I have no tolerance whatsoever for bullshit. Especially from women.
We are a minority. Like the guys who graduate from SEAL training or people that get picked to intern at the White House. Most would crumble and turn to drugs or whatever. I’m proud that I fought and never let her destroy my life. My roommates always ask me how I get my main girl to do so much. I respond, “I’m not a mommas boy”. Women love men that don’t need a woman’s affection, it’s like their version of a unicorn. Our mothers basically taught us to keep women at an arms length emotionally-which if you think about is the basic fundamental law of this sub.
metallicdrama 5y ago
Women are traps. Let them take the sperm. But keep your soul out of it. As soon as you let a woman think you’re equals you’re less equal in both of your minds.
My friends are so whipped. One of them makes 130k a year and is broke with nothing going in to retirement because “happy wife happy life”. He is the most miserable sack of soy I know. She doesn’t even work and he does all the cleaning lol. I’ve tried to show him TRP but his mom trained him well.
Once the cortisol eats all his T she’ll probably start making passes at us.
My cousin used to be in awe of the shit I would text my gfs. My aunt hates me to this day for breaking her brainwashing. Women are evil when they leave the kitchen.
unclecrumble 5y ago
I can’t believe simps like that dude even exist. There’s millions of fucking women out there and 90% of them will play the victim card to get what they want but who gives a shit you get your jollies then gtfo. It’s ridiculous how many times I’ve seen the same traits in women..not sure if that’s what I’m attracting but it’s been interesting to say the least. Clingers galore. Cars were keyed, cases of harassment were filed, I’ve seen some wild bitches that do not want to let me walk.
For me it’s about risk vs. reward, pro vs. con in any situation. I look at chicks like I look at a car I’m thinking of buying: how many miles are on it(her partner count, her age), body and trim, interior(pussy), horsepower/engine(sexual abilities), gas mileage(how she handles money), reliability(is she employed). I think it’s great how I can always say the same things to chicks and it works every time lol.
metallicdrama 5y ago
We keep getting smarter. They stay just as dumb lol.
magx01 5y ago
Same sort of thing here except my Dad was in the picture but he was a cowed little mouse who took it and took it and took it until he would inevitably explode. Then the house would go silent for a few days until it all started to repeat. My mom was just like yours but also physically abusive. Sewing needles, wooden spoons, belts, fists, teeth (yes, she bit me), open hands, whatever. My Dad as well but to a lesser degree.
Not only did she not ever accept responsibility for anything ever but on one occasion when I sat her down to talk through some of our issues after a few years of no communication I apologized to her for my actions (no situation is one sided) and her response was "I will never apologize to you for anything, ever." I told her that killed the last shred of respect I had for her and she told me to go fuck myself and I left. Another few years passed with no communication.
Now? We talk and they have (sort of) calmed down but we absolutely cannot discuss any of that old shit or it will all blow up again. The conversation has to be surface level bullshit. So basically a fake relationship. Like strangers. Whatever few little things have been brought up they have acted like I am crazy/making things up.
I have to say though if anyone replies you don't need to be sympathetic or give me advice- it's all good. Shit's in the past; I don't harbor any resentments nor am I struggling with any "feelings." I'm great- especially post divorce (I "went mgtow" and am living a healthy, minimalist, low stress lifestyle). I don't even really blame them for anything at the end of the day- I am starting to think none of us are responsible for any of our actions in fact but that's a huge discussion for another time/place and one that is sure to make me sound insane until we started to actually hash it out.
Hope you're doing okay man; sous chef is a great position to hold. You must eat AMAZINGLY well every day, damn :)
Scrub_TLC 5y ago
Please for your sake cut these toxic narcissists out of your life! No more talking, It's Just a cost-benefit analysis, they add nothing to your life and keeping them in it has a huge POTENTIAL cost.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcWvJmWIlo0
My mother was an awful person I have not talked to her for over half my life and it is one of the best choices I have made!
All love good luck!
[deleted]
unclecrumble 5y ago
I do eat pretty damn well and women respond to men that can cook. I’ve used the old “well if the sex is good maybe I’ll make you something you’ll like” many times. There’s nothing you can really do except learn from your parents mistakes man. At the end of the day they really did us a favor because we were forced to become men. A lot of guys get pampered by their mothers and women can smell a mommas boy from a mile away. Best thing I ever did was use the anger my mother created in my for something constructive(lifting, mountain biking). Anger can be used as motivation. I often times had thoughts of defeat but then a little voice came out of nowhere that would say, “you’re better than this you’re better than them man the fuck up don’t be a pussy”-that’s what made me who I am today.
As a side note I distinctly remember the way my grandpa treated my mom and grandmother...he was old school. When he was around he never was disrespected and they were kept in line. He ran his house like a fucking man should. If dinner took awhile, he’d yell, “Jane when we eating this Christmas or next Christmas, Jesus Christ”. Fucking loved that man. As soon as he died everything went to shit because the women were in charge. I’ll never forget how he treated them and how effective his approach was
magx01 5y ago
That's the difference between women and men. Men internalize lessons and would have continued on his legacy. Women need to constantly be reigned in because they don't internalize shit; they're like wild horses.
jm51 5y ago
Boys need male role models.
Might be accidental or it might be deliberate but either way, the rise of what I'd term pedophobia has decent men avoiding the company of boys that need their guidance.
When I was growing up, there were a lot of activities for boys. Youth clubs, boxing and judo clubs with volunteer work done by older guys that cared enough to add their input. Army, Sea and Navy cadets had ex military guys volunteering.
Now, far too many decent guys are scared of having their honourable intentions viewed with suspicion, so they don't bother.
boogalooshrimp1103 5y ago
Check out season 4 of the wire namond. Hes a kid in the 8th grade whose mom tries to push him into dealing drugs like his father who's locked up for life
Zanford 5y ago
Great post, deep insight, could really be something to it.
Wonder if there's a racial difference here: white sons of single mothers tend to become more pseudo-father and beta-providery, whereas black sons just ditch family responsibilities and join gangs
VisionsofGandhi1 5y ago
It depends on socio-economic status
ginger_whiskers 5y ago
Eh. I've seen childhood friends, and now neighbor kids, of either race go either way. Just my experience, no data to back it up.
_A_L_3_X_ 5y ago
i had a pretty simliar situation, but my mom, being pretty alfa, made all the decisions and let me and my brother just be children. the problem is now, that because im prett dominant and alfa too i get into a lot of fights with my mum.
Satisfaction- 5y ago
I have had a very similar experience with my youth. Father worked away, still with my mom but for all intents and purposes, single mother household. Compound this with the fact that my sibling has mental disabilities and I too had to "man up" from a very young age. I remember putting aside shit I wanted to bring up to my parents as early as I can remember, just so they could handle my screaming infant sibling.
I'm in the process of unlearning most of the ways I interact with women and retraining myself. It's been so good... I've been having so much more success and generally I've been a lot happier after placing myself as my point of origin, placing less emphasis on the outcome of my interactions.
It goes to show that if you choose to find happiness in things that you alone control, you'll be happier a lot more fucking often...
NormalAndy 5y ago
“Now that bastard has gone, you have to be my man of the House.” (Do what I say).
I remember it well.
The_subtle_learner 5y ago
An example of words VS actions. She doesn't mean what she says on that quote obviously.
EPGMDAWG 5y ago
Through the reddit articles on trp i am in the process of retraining myself after waking up to the scary fact that you have also woken up to.
RivenHalf 5y ago
It's a hard fact to awaken from. I'm definitely still working through my anger phase from it all but I am thankful that TRP is giving me hope for the light on the other end. That's what keeps me going.
dix2long 5y ago
From a single parent matriarch household, I definitely had to unlearn a lot of what I was taught. I think of it like this: your mom doesn't want you beating cheeks, and she wants you to be strong, but not strong enough to disobey her. And while she may have the best interests as a son in her mind, she doesn't have your best interests as a man at heart.
livefast06 5y ago
Ah, to stone-cold redpill the mother of a matriarchal household. Very few things can provide that level of satisfaction, vengeance, victory, and feeling of true independence all a the same damn time.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
Fyrjefe 5y ago
Thanks for the Amazon link. It's recommended in the sidebar for a reason. There's also a copy on Gutenberg which I was perusing a while back. This author has had countless clients with our problems and has lots of great steps in identifying the destructive thought patterns.
taxandstuff 5y ago
never even crossed my mind to put on a cape for a single mother. bitch, is you crazy
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
The tragedy of this is that women who say this are projecting their own selfish laziness onto you, as they demand you provide for them.
It's not just the single mother thing. Absent fathers have no influence, but fathers allowed to remain are only allowed on condition that they follow the beta male paradigm.
"Man up" only means "avoid shaming by being a slave". It doesn't need to be relearned, it needs to be completely avoided.
Do what you want and ignore anyone who says otherwise. If you can't live your life in this way then change it until you can.
[deleted] 5y ago
You have put it very well. Nice to feel validated by someone else’s similar experience.
Throwawaysteve123456 5y ago
Fuck, this cuts deep. I think this story is all too common man.
[deleted] 5y ago
A rare worthy post on TRP. But it's not only single mothers who are shitty.
[deleted] 5y ago
There's nothing beta about loving your s.o.
Whether you lift 1000 lbs or make 1million bucks
The_subtle_learner 5y ago
Nothing beta about loving indeed, alpha males in our mammal setting are supposed to be able to be strong and lead groups - love being a common denominator there.
The_Chiselnator 5y ago
Define this love for your s.o so that we know what you mean
[deleted] 5y ago
Love is that sense of accomplishment to a job well done
Just about bliss
Happiness basically