First off I think this post is painfully obvious. It’s actually a shame that I need to write this. But if I don't, you Blue Pill dorks are gonna be stuck in the Matrix forever. April 1 2018 is as good of a time to Red Pill you on the Red Pill as any. So here goes.
The Red Pill is a form on sexual strategy where Alphas like myself try to teach you Betas how to be less Beta. That probably sounds good to you in theory my dude. But did you ever take a step back and think maybe just maybe that Red Pill Alphas are Alphaing you?
I mean bro, why are you taking all of this information on good faith? You really think there isn't an agenda here? We're fucking Alphas. Of course there's an agenda.
Ever notice how the Red Pill tells everyone to lift? Why do you think we do that? I'll finally tell you because you losers haven't figured it out. Big burly muscles and tan skin is associated with the working class. Obesity is a sign of royalty. All these false flag fitness posts are a trick to give you the body of a peasant while we Alphas hold the physical form of big beautiful kings.
Next ever notice all the video game hate? Go workout. Stop playing video games. Why do you think we tell you that? Because the future is digital. We want you to be as weak as possible in the digital world because that's the next frontier. Here you are wasting your life talking to girls, lifting weights and just generally being a retard while we Red Pill Alphas are decked out in epic gear, ranked legendary in Hearthstone, Diamond in StarCraft and win Fortnight on the regular.
Next let's talk about women. If you've read the Sidebar you would know that a woman is incapable of love as a man would want it. Ok. So why are you looking for love with women if their incapable of love? Ever heard of Sex Robots? Look it up loser cuz that's the future right there. Also ever notice how there are no guides on seducing dudes? Got you again loser. Men are capable of love unlike women. Yet here you are wasting your time with bitchy materialistic whores while we have all the dudes for ourselves. We have a saying amongst the Endorsed Contributor team: It's time to get excited cuz no girls are invited.
Next let's talk about masterbation. Yea we definitely got you with that NoFap propaganda. Ok think about it logically. What happens when a star no longer gives off energy? It collapses in on itself and becomes a black hole. So by tricking you into holding in all of your energy we know your gonna collapse in on yourself and become a Beta Black Hole Bitch. The more powerful a star the more energy it gives off. That's why powerful men follow the path of the stars and masterbate constantly.
Alright I think that I've revealed too much of the Red Pill Left Hand Path. Not that it matters anyway cuz you're to indoctrinated to invest time into perfect your Cyber Strength, achieve a full figure, follow the Path of the Stars or learn how to give an amazing blowjob. A real Alpha would know when he's being alphaed by Red Pill Alphas. You're not and you don't.
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BetaBitchBoy69 6y ago
lmao tan skins for the working class? Since when? I live in new england you can tell if someones wealthy during the winter they have a tan, it means they traveled or have a second house somewhere much warmer... The dude who owns the jewelery store I buy my watches from has a darkkkk tan 24/7.. He goes to florida and sits on his yacht all winter.
aaasssaaa11 6y ago
your posts are great man but please learn how to spell properly
[deleted] 6y ago
a true alpha is a feminist and doesn't fall for this alt right propoganda!!!
Dmva100 6y ago
And the world told the boys in school that rape is bad but failed to mention that it's just a socialized construct. If a woman just gets fucked, forcefully or not, and no investment or provisioning results from the man, then she couldn't monetize her pussy so it becomes a criminal act. The globo-joos need the pussy to be monetized to profit on a mass scale from consumerism and 'family' expenditures.
Only men can be raped.
[deleted] 6y ago
Lmfao at globo-joos . That's the real red pill right there.
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r4nd01 6y ago
y'know, i actually knew a guy (who in retrospect was red pill AF, but this was in the early 2000s) who made a strong argument for the claim of fat guys being seen as royalty. He didn't preach it as an absolute truth like "you should get fat and get all the chicks" but he said he thought it was some trait left over in some women from darker times when only leaders high on the totem could get that fat.
He had a long term younger GF of many years who he told he would never marry and she was cool with it. She waited on him hand and foot like a geisha and if she started to get even a tiny bit out of line, it was nothing for him to snap her back into place. He had no reservations about openly checking out and sexualizing other women in front of her, and would fuck other women. Eventually they got so that the two of them would fuck other girls together and she got really into it, so that eventually they would even hire prostitutes together.
Dude was fat as fuck and ugly, but his frame was rock solid. but he was obsessed with occult mysticism, psychedelics, and other stuff like that, so thats mostly what he taught me about and, aside from a few comments here and there, pretty much left me to my own to piece together sexual strategy.
ValarMorghulis90 6y ago
I appreciate the amount of time he took to craft this lol. Laughing so hard.
Elfclan30 6y ago
I remember a guy who talked like that. He weighted 400 pounds and would try to amog people on fb and would flash money, watches etc(and say obesity was a sign of wealth). He even posted a pic of his fat face with the black and white filter and the csptatiom "alpha as fuck".
He pissed some people off so he was killed a restauran in mexico.
His name was Raul Robles and was the CEO of Hacking Mexico.
thebluesSV 6y ago
I thought you were talking about Dj Kaleb at first,
MisterRoid 6y ago
That guy looked buff. I wonder how much he could bench.
hatguyfromXKCD 6y ago
What in the cuck is this shit?
Entropy-7 6y ago
Check the posting date and think about it.
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markdumte 6y ago
I can't decide if satire or crazy.
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scissor_me_timbers00 6y ago
Clearly satire. Although I’m not sure the purpose it serves.
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[deleted] 6y ago
I have a feeling the ideas either "question everything", or making the point that any retarded n00b can post on here and spew their own sexual strategy.
EDIT: April fools lmao
scissor_me_timbers00 6y ago
Oh go figure it’s april fools
whatsthisgarg 6y ago
You are all a bunch of beta faggots stuck in the angry phase, and I mean ALL of you.
LOL. Obviously not true. Some of you are beta faggots stuck in the denial phase.
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[deleted] 6y ago
Sigh. If only all shitposting was this high quality.
That being said, there is one important point made here to be kept in mind while reading this. While the Red Pill is a great guide to life and ECs and the Vanguard are to be respected and admired (as in every male hierarchy where people who contribute most value get most respect), everything they say or everything in the sidebar should be taken with a grain of salt.
This does not mean that any of this is wrong, but to create false gods or edifices out of any institution for no rational reason is to get TRP but also somehow completely miss the point. You may think that EC and other Alphas are gods, but remember: at the end of the day, it is YOUR journey and YOUR path. All the ECs and Vanguard are very very helpful, but they can and should only provide you with a torch and guide you and help you, but it's your life and you should live the best possible version of it, thinking through how to implement TRP principles and habits in your daily life and in those moments when interacting with women.
I AM NOT advocating that TRP is subjective or make your own. It is very objective. You still have to put in the hard work. You have to lift, you have to learn, you have to approach. But you have to do it in your own way, your own style. A C chord is still a C chord, but there's a difference between how Bob Dylan plays it and how Larry Page plays it.
Gloqa 6y ago
Lmao if you think you can just
Beta ———————> Alpha
[deleted] 6y ago
I hit Hearthstone legendary in a vague past. You wouldn't believe the pussy it got me.
Xristopanagia_666 6y ago
Hahahhaha best 1st of April joke ever.
Is it joke or prank, i am not brittish or american so please tell me.
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sir_Twinkletoes 6y ago
The only streak that matters to me is my killstreak. When I hear the call of duty, I answer.
S-Blaze 6y ago
My level 108 paladin is beast can't wait to hit 110 and farm gul'dan over and over again. Having fame, knownledge and power in the virtual world is so much more rewarding. Man the singularity is gonna be hot it's totally not the biggest mindfuck ever. Thanks Lucifer for this prison planet.
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[deleted] 6y ago
Duh, that’s why true right hand alphas would have God on their side and with the help of God create right handed red pills.
motivatedstogs 6y ago
I get 100+ girls wanting to fuck my brains out when I post a victory royale on Snapchat. While you’re lifting, being occupied, your girl is sliding in my DM’s kid.
RationalTactician 6y ago
Quality 4/1 shit post OP. Well done
imbeciI 6y ago
u/GayLubeOil is the only one plugged enough to see the world as it truly is.
CapnRonRico 6y ago
The alpha paradox which I just coined (got a nice ring to it)
If you were an alpha of any calibre, you would not be on reddit & you would not be teaching the inadequate when that time could be better used chasing & securing pussy.
Unless of course you have a business.
RedwallAllratuRatbar 6y ago
Yess, it makes all those posts, even "good" ones in-credible
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jonib0ni 6y ago
Becoming a Yu-Gi-Oh pro is the most efficient way to get laid. You won't believe how many groupies (8+) get banged in the backstage rooms of TCG tournaments.
Thank God the red pill fools don't know about this and still waste their time in the gym.
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MusicSports 6y ago
I genuinely can't tell if this is serious or not. I love this subreddit.
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BlackCraneStoic 6y ago
Used to play it myself. Look, the thing is all the hours spent memorizing card data and obssessing about strategy can be leveraged into learning how to develop gains in the gym. I took that same energy, redirected it and now I'm defined AF.
Energy and passion in one area of your life can be transferred to other ones with enough motivation and discipline.
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BlackCraneStoic 6y ago
It won't be. Granted though I still vaguely remember the effects of cards like Bazoo The Soul Eater and Panther Warrior the memory gradually fades. Especially with cards that are more technical and less artistically memorable.
Like Fatal Abacus for instance. I remember the name. I remember it has skulls and it's burn based but I don't remember the conditions or damage output. Maybe something like 300dmg per x condition but the point remains. The memory fades and eventually different outlets to direct enthusiasm and interest emerge.
masteryimain34 6y ago
Wow best post on this entire subreddit
burrrahhh 6y ago
You become a true alpha sex chad when you dominate in bed, by making a girl fuck you with a strapon.
Hillarysdilddo_2016 6y ago
Forget negging, try pegging!
jaedgy 6y ago
I agree vro. All these white guys who are ripped can't comprehend that girls want skinny-fat indian dudes. Or even better, dad-bods.
McRoddy 6y ago
I don't know whether to laugh or cry as a beautiful hazel human.
Captain_Save_A_Hoe_ 6y ago
Remember sharing your wife is NOT beta! Sharing is caring, how would you like it when you had to sexually withdraw from other women??? Thats how she feels when she makes you watch her get creampied by a complete stranger in your bed.
max_peenor 6y ago
It's only beta if you don't look him in the eye as he blows his load in her ass. Maintain eye contact to assert dominance.
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pplay_ 6y ago
Take note that this is all disinformation to make you weaker. You actually know more about being alpha earlier in your journey. The longer you spend doing this the more beta you become.
It is imperative that you flex on everybody in the comments section to demonstrate this and resist the disinformation.
A discussion is not about a certain topic, per se. Do gorillas and lions have discussions? Fuck no. A discussion, in particular on the internet, is an opportunity to flex your balls and rub them across someone's face through their computer screen. That is the reality you must understand as a Red Pill Man.
Hillarysdilddo_2016 6y ago
Don't know why you got downvoted. This is some funny shit.
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HardfallDodger 6y ago
Im new here & a tad old school. Question, working out sharpens you mentally & physically (fact), but doesn't lifting, tanning & being a gym chode play into objectifying men (historically the women role)? Tanning being particularly girly.
MisterRoid 6y ago
I knew it all along that people around here only give advise in an effort to out-alpha others, but it's nice of you to admit it.
albus_scirocco 6y ago
Sex robots are the future though.
caliginousbliss 6y ago
can we take a moment and appreciate op's username
karpathian 6y ago
Check the tag, he's banging hot chicks while sporting a dad bod and doesn't leave the house except to head to your mothers.
int_float_char 6y ago
This is just absurd.. had a good laugh out of it.
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[deleted] 6y ago
Why go through painful ego obliterating rejection, when you could just get rich and pay for hoes everyday? Logic.
[deleted] 6y ago
I'm suprised the mods are keeping this post up, even if it's a joke.
TheDarkRanger 6y ago
What is the point of this post?
VasiliyZaitzev 6y ago
GLO is wishing us a happy April Fool's Day.
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ShootTheJae 6y ago
Inverse this post for mad gainz
[deleted] 6y ago
More April fools crap. I'll stay off here and mgtow for 2-3 days. :/
max_peenor 6y ago
The problem is that every single point in that post is NOT a joke for certain people.
clavabot 6y ago
Exactly, and by doing the opposite of what he says to do we can become super betas
FeelTheBernieSanderz 6y ago
True alphas are humorless amirite?
[deleted] 6y ago
Not true, but after about the 10th obvious April Fools story it gets old going through them.
tcbabcock 6y ago
This isn't funny. If you want to be funny go be a clown somewhere.