A few weeks ago I made a post on checking her phone (I originally linked it but auto mod didn’t allow it, check my post history if interested)
During the thread there was a request for me to do a post on the subject of training plates.
I initially wrote that post and wasn’t happy with it for several reasons;
- I wanted to do more research with my girls and see to what extent my methods worked, there’s no point putting out a definitive post unless it is definitive
- It still isn’t concise enough for the average normie to read
- The vibe was wrong and the wording needs to be very precise, due to the sensitive nature of the subject I don’t want to be misinterpreted, there’s a fine line between BDSM and abuse
This post is still coming so stay tuned.
It is in the process of this research however that I was hit with another problem, today a friend of mine overdosed.
My reaction to this has been simple, I’ve curled up alone in bed all day and had a miniature break down, yesterday I was a man, today I am a boy and tomorrow I will be a man again.
Whenever we are at our weakest it is a natural instinct to reach out and seek comfort elsewhere, unfortunately this is a luxury as a male that you cannot afford.
I could have and wanted to reach out to my “plates” for some comfort, someone to hold me, cuddle me and tell me everything was going to be alright.
If I had shown this weakness no matter the reason that would be it, weakness is not attractive, the relationships would all fail, maybe not today maybe not tomorrow but in the next few months they would all swing.
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube you can’t put it back in, if you show any weakness there is no going back it is a permanent stain on your image for years to come.
There is no shame in weakness, every man will have his days when he isn’t strong enough to go on and maintain this illusion, the most important thing is that you do this in private and preserve your perceived frame.
No one cares about the struggle, it’s all about the finished product.
DeontologicalSanders 5y ago
It's a strange paradox. Yes, of course it's a bitch that we get sold this Disney Channel myth of a truly loving, supporting woman/gf/wife who's there for us when times get tough, only to find out the hard way that when a man opens up or expresses weakness, most women withdraw sexually at best, or bail entirely at worst. On the surface, that condition of our existence seems almost tragic.
But if you really think about it, is that truly what you want from a woman? Some sort of cooing matronly figure to hold you at her breast while you sob, and then cap off making you feel better with conciliatory sex? Why would you ask or expect someone so inherently weak, fickle, and capricious to shoulder the burdens you face as a man? If you need her to do that, are you really a man? If she is capable of bearing them , is she really a woman?
whatsthisgarg 5y ago
That's kind of a caricature but you are exactly right. I have never understood this mentality. It's a mommy issue. It seems to be rampant in this younger generation, but it has always been there.
CapnPoot 5y ago
Such a crazy pill to swallow. Obviously being a man is about dealing with your problems, but our whole lives we were indoctrinated to believe that our wives would be the one to help us stay strong.
What a bait and switch. We have to keep ourselves strong when a loved one dies, and prevent our girls from having mental breakdowns when 16 Handles runs out of mango sorbet.
notpahimar 5y ago
I bet that last part has a story behind it.
CapnPoot 5y ago
Story: every single girl in the Upper West Side has a breakdown when their favorite frozen yogurt place is closed
FuckboyAWALT 5y ago
The best thing is that women try to sell us the illusion that they are always there for us and we should always talk about our problems with them.
Bullshit. Grab your best mate and a beer and talk about the shit that bothers you.
whatsthisgarg 5y ago
Lemme tell you a little story.
A really good friend of mine killed himself, about 10 years ago. There was a huge memorial for him, this guy had tons of friends. I was the last one to speak. I told an amusing story about him, everybody chuckled, then I burst into tears as I said "He was one of the best friends I've ever had, and I'll never forget him." Then I pulled myself together.
The next day at a party his ex-wife and THREE of her slutty friends aggressively hit on me. With two of them, it was a subconscious thing, they were just expressing their inner reaction physically; the other two, it was overt and very conscious.
If you think about it, had I not shown the appropriate emotion at the service, it would have been deeply unattractive.
So, you CAN show deep emotion, but this, as with EVERYTHING about you as a man, has to come from a place of strength, not weakness.
KyfhoMyoba 5y ago
BINGO!! Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
When a man, who has only shown strong, masculine, alpha characteristics drops his guard very briefly, it acts as an accellerant to her arousal/ hypergamy. IOW, if there was no or little attraction to begin with, it means nothing, but if he's already demonstrated his worthiness, that little chink in the armor becomes blood in the water for her piranha-like narture.
I suspect that it shows her that she has good chance with him - that there's a way to his heart for her, her subconscious is telling her, "Hey, you just might have a real good chance with this one!"
BTW, The only time a man should cry in public is at his mothers funeral. At his fathers, he should be stoic and proud. At his child's (God forbid) he needs to be strong for his wife. I guess your crying very briefly at his best friend's is OK, but the fact that you pulled it together immediately is what put you at the place of strength.
Oh, and his dog. You can cry for a bit when your dog dies. Man's best friend, and all that.
gbdoragnic 5y ago
I believe your story, however his weakness comes from a place of weakness, sometimes life gets over whelming, sometimes you feel the pressure and need some time to relax and someone to unwind with.
Don't do this with women, crying if your friend or kid died gets you a pass, crying because you're depressed with life in general is not ok
jackofspades76 5y ago
This is the secret to success in everything.
flee_market 5y ago
Women for sex, men or therapists for emotional support.
Sorry for your loss.
FeralRed 5y ago
AKA.....
Iron Rule of Tomassi #9
Never Self-Deprecate under any circumstance.
KyfhoMyoba 5y ago
Gotta call BS. I self-deprecate all the time, but it is almost always as part of my agreeing & amplifying.
Context is key.
FeralRed 5y ago
Tomassi covers this in his post about rule 9.
KyfhoMyoba 5y ago
Key phrase: Women despise the obligation of sympathy. That's why when I self-deprecate, I don't oblige sympathy, I compel reflection. Or laughter. I'm happy to tell the truth via a joke on myself, but I do so from a place zero fucks given, so ....
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
Self deprecation is very different from wanting support, and you should do neither with/from women
TheTrenTrannyTrain 5y ago
We are all Gods, and Gods don't bleed.
[deleted] 5y ago
This is the truth I didn't want to accept.
Morphs_ 5y ago
I actually experienced a bit with this as I've been sick but still ploughing through with work. Yesterday a plate convinced me to come over and let her take care of me and she managed to arouse me enough to go.
So I wasn't at 100% yet I still tried to deal with my sickness in a manly way. Like even when weak, I still manage to appear strong in my dealings. Of course time will tell but she regarded the sex as "the best she ever had" so I take it as a positive sign.
So to add some nuance to your claim, yes cry like a child in solitude or with male friends who you trust. But I think you can allow a plate/FwB to "comfort" you, as long as you actually stay the stronger one. So you hold her, etc. No crying in her lap.
Kobinks 5y ago
That was my point, I needed to be alone because I wasn’t composed.
Just needed some time to get over the initial overhaul of emotions. Now I’ve got it together again I can go back to maintaining frame and get low key comfort from a position of power.
Arbiterjim 5y ago
I'm not sure I agree with this from a health standpoint. He makes allowances for time to grieve, but emotional support is important to survival. My dad was the stoic, face your life alone kind of guy, and he had a stroke at 46. Keeping all of that in... it poisons you.
Not saying you should go out and sob in your plates arms, but seriously... find a good outlet
Ripred019 5y ago
You can pay a therapist or have some good male friends. I have the same problem, honestly. Sometimes I just want to be a little bitch and have a soft, caring woman take care of me and make me feel better. Hell, I've made the mistake of showing that kind of weakness to women I was fucking. OP is right, it's always a mistake. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but a few weeks or months later, the pussy juices start drying up and all she can see is the beta bitch underneath an Alpha mask.
strikethrough123 5y ago
You can do this to plates you're trying to drop. Win win.
Foobyx 5y ago
eeemmm... How do you plan to hide when you live with your wife and children?
Dawnguards 5y ago
Real red pill man doesnt try to catter around womens opinion on what the real man is.. So there is no weakness you can show. You are you and thats not a weakness.