We all know and see the 'Red Flags' through and through when dating / getting involved with a woman, but what are some of the things you have seen that's kept them around or even attracted you to develop to a LTR with them?
Talking about attitude, mentality, how they act, things they do... Anything that comes to mind.
I thought I'd raise a different perspective and see how it goes.
Cheers
nastynickdr 8y ago
Check this list of warning / green / red flags:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3kgbn7/the_lengthy_red_flags_warning_flags_green_flags/
RPthrowaway123 8y ago
jimmAo 8y ago
just wondering, what's a low partner count for a girl that's 22~23?
[deleted] 8y ago
Ultra low might be 0 - 4
low would be around 8 - 10
RedditArgument 8y ago
0-4 IMO. Basically a plausible number of serious boyfriends number. It's plausible for a girl to have had 3 or maybe 4 serious LTRs where sex is naturally implicit. 10+? She's having casual sex which is a no-no for LTR.
marty2k 8y ago
I think a little bit of casual sex isn't horrible, I give women a fairly reasonable "tried it out, didn't like it" that doesn't go into AF/BB "I'm a different girl now" range.
StarDestinyGuy 8y ago
This was a nice green flag to me, when she texted me this:
"I really like you so I don't care what we do, as long as I can see you."
Very refreshing attitude these days.
3rt41 8y ago
Had this from one of my exes, she turned out to be like one of the true spawns of Satan after a month or two.
locomotronn 8y ago
same lol..jesus AWALT.
[deleted] 8y ago
I don't see why one wouldn't thrive on the needy ones. If you can prevent them from sucking your energy reserves dry.
RedPharaohRising 8y ago
If she's new, that counts for much less.
StarDestinyGuy 8y ago
It's been about 6 months.
darthskids 8y ago
Concur. Thats more of a red flag than a green one.
leftajar 8y ago
For me the biggest one is that she has real, substantive adult hobbies. Too many girls just laze around, checking social media until it's time to go out. They have nothing interesting to talk about. Show me a girl who hikes, dances paints, or any other thing that requires discipline and initiative
p1niu 8y ago
Girls with real hobbies and passions are extremely rare. My observation is that they're also usually more masculine and have close relationship with their father.
leftajar 8y ago
Daddy's Girls are the best to date -- they actually like men and are comfortable relating with them.
[deleted] 8y ago
[deleted]
Squeezymypenisy 8y ago
It's honestly people in general. Most don't have hobbies, either due to laziness or just addicted to something.
sodainthewatercup6 8y ago
I don't really get this. As long as she isn't over-feeding her validation hamster on Instagram, I don't see the importance of this. Hobbies build status and character. I don't give two shits about a girl's status, and character can be built by basic social interactions.
If we go LTR and into basic human instinct, as long as I suspect she knows how to raise children with me I don't see the issue.
I don't see the issue with having a girl that isn't into doing a bunch of hyperactive bullshit because in my opinion those are masculine activities. Now, get me on the topic of yarn/yoga/cooking hobbies and I get it. Thanks for letting me post this. I think I mapped this out properly just by typing.
Solving problems in real-time, folks.
oleanderteabreak 8y ago
You seriously don't care about her personality so long as she can adequately hang babies from her tits?
sodainthewatercup6 8y ago
Reread the comment and respond accordingly.
AFPJ 8y ago
Grew up with parents who are still together (who she still lives with), has siblings, no debt & spends wisely.
Relaxed, open, willing. Capable of doing but unable to independently decide which things should be done.
Enjoys following your lead, has no problem saying she wants a family, is intelligent but demure about it
Shy, interested, feminine, cuddly / attached after sex - this is a great predictor of past partner count.
Initiative to cook, clean, bring something for the house, make coffee at your place in the morning, etc.
[deleted] 8y ago
[deleted]
AFPJ 8y ago
Are you under the impression that you want to have an LTR with an "Adult"? Even the women who get a masters and make 6+ digits are just children. Why pretend? "Adult" is basically "Strong independent wymmyn". More importantly, these "Adults" likely have a -$200,000 net worth from student loans & will suddenly "quit" or be "laid off" when they move in with you, or will have to quit / be laid off and will most likely not return to the workforce once they give birth.
If the whole "equitable partnership" concept is your fancy, by all means - there's a lot of different ways to run an LTR.
But if you don't make enough to buy a house in LA/SD/NYC, don't think that dual income is a viable lifestyle. It's not: that's a hard truth many couples, hell - many people - can't accept: they can't afford city life. And if none of the above are your gripes - why care about dating an "adult"? Name a single benefit that comes with dating an "adult" woman.
punchykitten 8y ago
SD? I know LA is Los Angeles, NYC is New York City, but what's SD?
machimus 8y ago
San Diego.
truchisoft 8y ago
Traveled several hours to the university every day, took her a long time to become a dentist and she did part time work as a promo girl meanwhile.
That kind of grinding is good test of character
RPJapan 8y ago
Red flag: is from a western country
Green flag: is not from a western country
recon_johnny 8y ago
Wife was a virgin at 17. I took it.
BinglesTRP 8y ago
Cooks healthy for herself.
Self-dependent
Has interesting hobbies
Uses a gym
Not a "Free Spirit" (Codeword for high partner count)
Educated with an "Adult" job. I don't want the district attorney, but I don't want the cashier at Burger King either.
[deleted] 8y ago
Does this exist?
Vaselinee 8y ago
Yeah I just dumped one today
shootinthegym 8y ago
In a sense yes but once they see a red flag they immediate throw all the green flag out.
BinglesTRP 8y ago
Yeah, her name was oneitis. Difficult, difficult oneitis.
Moldy_Gecko 8y ago
Not ALL free spirits have high partners. The best one I know of is a virgin. She also started dating a girl for a bit though.
BinglesTRP 8y ago
I've never met one that didn't have a high partner count. At the very least - they're not LTR material whatsoever.
[deleted] 8y ago
My green lights:
Outdoor hobbies
Plays Sports
Has an education
Works a full time job doesn't need to be glamorous but it shows that she has an understanding of value over a PT waitress which gets coin thrown at her.
Has an actual interest in trying new things and learning.
Has good banter a bonus if she is actually funny.
Keeps toned and in shape.
Terminal-Psychosis 8y ago
Gets along well with her parents without being still attached at the navel.
Can admit mistakes, laugh at herself even. Sure signs of maturity and healthy mental state.
Most important to me is a sweet disposition, and sexiness (for a VERY select few, meaning me).
Major bonus if she can cook well, and actually has hobbies. I have a fetish for creative women.
Honesty Trust and Respect are important too, as in any relationship.
We're talking long-term stuff here. For a fun weekend, she needs a hot bod and is sexually uninhibited.
Invalidity 8y ago
She has a mind of her own, but within moderation. This means that she understands your point and contributes her own opinions on the matter, but is neither fully agreeable nor antagonistic.
She understands what being feminine is about and why it is important. She understands the importance of maintaining her appearance. She can't be described as a "ratchet" girl (huge red flag for LTRs, but fun for the short term).
She isn't taken aback by splitting the bill. This is critical, as the majority of women who I've encountered as wanting to be 'traditional' end up primarily being overly entitled princesses. The odds are not in your favor that the girl knows what it means to be traditional, and chances are, she will insist that you cover the meal. Do not.
She has a positive relationship with her father. You are heavily gambling if she has no father (or even no male role model) or if she hates her father.
p1niu 8y ago
I like the notion about the father relationship. I once had a gf who was raised without father - the bastard left her and her mother when she was three. She hated him. We broke up. Now when I look at things from a little more distance, I realise that her lack of father was causing so many problems in our relationship. I also notice that girls who have good relationships with their fathers are more interesting - have more hobbies, topics to discuss, etc.
marty2k 8y ago
No one should ever feel bad about not dating chubby or fat girls. Even if it was 100% genetic, women never feel bad about not fucking a small guy, a deformed guy, or a balding guy. Men get shamed into this and it's fucking annoying. I don't care if you ate a million burgers or you lost the genetic lottery, fat is not attractive.
Invalidity 8y ago
Agreed, shaming is a powerful tool for getting people to take actions that are otherwise illogical or undesirable. In particular, in Korea a lot of girls are shamed for looking fat, and it keeps the majority of the female populace relatively under control in terms of weight.
America on the other hand... You can easily imagine a fat bitch telling a skinnier bitch, "Girllll you look like you dying, you need to put some meat on those bones." Hence, why there are so many fat bitches in America (as well as other Western cultures).
marty2k 8y ago
It's also women are much more entitled over here. They're entitled to be found attractive, they're entitled to a fit boyfriend, they're entitled to not have to pay extra for Healthcare, they're entitled to not have to see anyone else who's attractive. Fuck working hard at the gym, not eating so much, and putting in a little effort. It's much easier to whine, even babies can do it. The whole not working hard thing made both men and women fat, but only women feel entitled enough to whine about it.
Invalidity 8y ago
The problem boils down to the primary male role model in their lives not exerting discipline or boundaries on them. These girls likely had fathers who were pushovers and gave them everything they wanted, from attention to gifts. As a result, they become entitled to receiving things from men.
It's a vicious cycle, but the men who succeed with these women don't take shit from them and know how to restrain them.
badboy_throwaway1234 8y ago
A lot of high standards in this thread.
For those describing the women, have you actually met ANYONE with all of these qualities?
[deleted] 8y ago
[deleted]
kellykebab 8y ago
Yeah, it'd be really cool if these dudes could give examples of real life success. I, too, can list the qualities of my fantasy lady until I'm blue in the face, but it doesn't mean shit if I've never met anyone who meets more than 15% of my criteria.
[deleted] 8y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 8y ago
[deleted]
blazeitfiggot 8y ago
Offered to drive/pick me up from a job interview when there was no on site parking.
Archwinger 8y ago
Gratitude. Genuine gratitude is sexier than tits.
Hits the gym regularly and has the body to prove that she's serious about it and not just one of those 'tards that walks on the treadmill in her make-up and hoop earrings waiting for guys to talk to her.
Knows how to cook - healthy, and takes pride in it and enjoys doing it. It's not enough to just know how to cook. If a woman does not beam with pride at the very thought of nourishing another human with something she created from her own hands and mind, then she's shit mother and shit wife material.
Not involved or only barely involved on social media. If she can't go an entire 3-5 hour first date without pulling out her cell phone to check something, she's done. You can't disqualify someone just for having a facebook profile they use to keep in touch with a few friends, kind of like e-mail, but somebody who's an active and regular facebook user? Fuck that.
Has her own hobbies that she's actually into and not just doing for appearances or to meet guys.
Low partner count. Zero sex outside of a committed monogamous relationship. That one time in college she fucked a random to see if she liked casual sex is one time too many.
Doesn't get drunk, even when there's an open bar or you're buying. I know this one's obvious, but the sheer lack of restraint in young women today is just plain shocking. If the drinks are free, women nowadays go hog wild. It's not just the drunkenness that's annoying. Women who drink a lot will be very fat, very soon.
No or very subtle makeup. Dresses feminine but not whorish.
No drugs, no smoking. This goes along with eating healthy and not drinking too much. Women who do this shit just don't take care of themselves. It demonstrates stupidity as well as a lack of discipline and restraint.
No cosmetic surgery. No tattoos. The body is a temple. You don't fuck it up with elective modifications.
Employed. With a real job. Women who can't hold real jobs have something wrong with them.
aguy01 8y ago
I second this. Nothing is less attractive than a selfish woman in a relationship.
IDefyAxioms 8y ago
I never understood the dislike of tattoos. It's been a long standing idea in the RP realm, but I've never really understood why it matters so much. Yeah, I've read everything saying it's a mark of rash, poorly planned decisions, but why? Granted, I'm a fan of (good) tattoos (though I would never get one) and that probably creates a bias, but I hardly see putting an interesting, meaningful piece of art on your body as indication of poor character.
Yeah, I'm narrowing the field down to tasteful, thought out, and well done tattoos. I've no argument in defense of reconciling shitty tattoos planned while drunk or carelessly with a potential LTR.
Archwinger 8y ago
Tattoos are a cultural thing. Some guys like them. To each his own. I think permanently scarring your body as a form of decorative expression is stupid.
That's just me. My word on the tattoo culture and the world of tattoo art is not gospel. Just one man's opinion.
[deleted] 8y ago
[deleted]
Archwinger 8y ago
On the contrary, all of that forces girls to be actually interesting. Not just superficially interesting.
Wouldn't you love to meet a girl who can be more interesting than slutty clothes, kinky sex, drugs and alcohol, and dumbass tattoos?
Jessie_James 8y ago
I'm going to quote Doc Love, because he nailed it on the basics:
Once you apply those, a lot of other traits just fall into place.
[deleted] 8y ago
[deleted]
marty2k 8y ago
I find the majority of these women are the "No More Mr Nice Guy" types, people pleasers who act nice not because they want to make people happy but because they want people to like them. Dated a girl like this, everyone loved how nice she was but would release it all on me and become a raging bitch if the moment struck her. The worst part is they hide it very well and release it only after you've committed.
[deleted] 8y ago
Girl let me know she had HPV before the first time we had sex and was real torn up over it. I took a week or so to think about it and consult my doctor, but I always appreciated her honesty and the fact that she was willing torisk letting me reject her in order to share the truth. Ended up LTRing her.
LandShark805 8y ago
Manners. Everything from chewing with mouth closed, to saying "Bless you" after a sneeze, to being on time or communicating prior to being late A polite woman tends to be a considerate one and it transcends to many things in the course of a relationship.
[deleted] 8y ago
Zero sexual partners.
Similar political beliefs.
Feminine. Dresses somewhat conservatively in public and isn't shrewish. Doesn't visit pubs or clubs and doesn't get drunk. No tattoos, no piercings (normal earrings are acceptable). Rarely swears and respects people when they're talking no matter the quality of their dialogue.
Strong bond with her immediate family, particularly her father.
Naturally coloured hair.
Hygienic and tidy. Clean hair and teeth, good breath, shaved body hair.
Cooks for you.
Into fitness.
Rorta 8y ago
Lets be honest, you aren't going to find a girl with zero sexual partners who isn't over 18, except in maybe very rare instances.
The only place you will find a girl like that is maybe some of the top tier colleges and universities, virtually one of the only places where there is women with a level of drive to not bow to the promiscuity and drinking culture that is so prevalent in society today.
That or the Church of the Latter Day Saints...
Jessie_James 8y ago
Who the hell wants to sleep with a virgin? They absolutely suck in bed.
Tom_The_Human 8y ago
90% of modern women (including the vast majority of hot ones) just got ruled out.
Thizzlebot 8y ago
you are missing the part where he says "zero sexual partner count" lol holy shit talk about living on fantasy island.
Tom_The_Human 8y ago
Honestly I look at that list and just think "Christian fundamentalist".
[deleted] 8y ago
To be fair, the original question was "what are your green flags?"
While the odds of one woman having all those is nearly zero, they are all, individually, a green flag for a woman.
keytoimmortality 8y ago
So many people on this thread seem to be forgetting this. These are all green flags, not a checklist that must have every point ticked off before they'll date the girl
Cyralea 8y ago
There's a difference between weekly intoxication and the girl who drinks lightly only at social gatherings. Pretty sure the latter is who he was referring to.
[deleted] 8y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 8y ago
And I wouldn't trust people who've had their lips loosened by the "truth serum".
1-800-777-GOLD 8y ago
I don't drink. Any reason why I would be untrustworthy?
enriquex 8y ago
For me it's not about trustworthiness, it's about attitude.
Sure, you might be totally fine and OP was being far too broad, but from my personal experience I've found people who don't partake in the same substances you do as incredibly judgemental.
They might not say it or act on it, but the "holier than thou" attitude is there for most people.
Also, most of the time they're simply grossly misinformed. The body is a temple, sure, but it's also an incredibly resistant one.
I don't care when people don't drink or don't do drugs or whatever, but for some reason the opposite doesn't hold true for most people.
1-800-777-GOLD 8y ago
I don't drink for health reasons (alcohol is bad for already sick intestines), personally.
[deleted] 8y ago
There are multiple reasons I don't consume alcohol or recreational drugs, and none of those related to alcohol are due to a "holier than thou" attitude. Also, Cyralea's reply is the correct interpretation of my comment.
halfunplugged 8y ago
sounds like a unicorn... and boring as fuck
MeatCurtainRod 8y ago
low/no past partner count
knows the difference between feminism and equality
same fitness level as you but still feminine
knows the value of a man cave. This has profound implications as all men need their personal space.
is independent. Has her own friends and her own way of living. Higher education as well, and is able to carry on conversations. But is able to share her life with you as you share yours.
is willing to do things with you and for you. A relationship is not about 50/50. It is about 100/100.
Basically is able to keep up with me and my lifestyle.
[deleted] 8y ago
"low/no past partner count" + "as high a sex drive as me"... isn't this sort of a walking contradiction?
MeatCurtainRod 8y ago
No it isn't. Even nuns of the catholic faith have many dirty thoughts. Like I said before, a high sex drive and having lots of sex as no correlation to each other. That is like saying they found a case where a kid took a vaccine and also happened to be autistic, therefore vaccines cause autism.
highshehi 8y ago
Well, I think your first and last point describe a unicorn.
MeatCurtainRod 8y ago
Then my wife is a unicorn. And while we are on that topic, a high sex drive doesn't mean have lots of sex before me. There is no correlation between a high sex drive and having lots of sex.
qwertthrowaway 8y ago
Dating a former virgin, can confirm.
highshehi 8y ago
At some point a lot of people are former virgins.
Jessie_James 8y ago
No partner count but a high sex drive?
I'm fine with a low partner count, but I don't want to sleep with completely inexperienced women - they usually are pretty bad in bed.
MeatCurtainRod 8y ago
See that is the problem boys have nowadays. They have this common misconception that just because a girl is inexperienced, that she is forever useless in bed. I can tell you for a fact that women have this uncanny ability to learn. They are able to experiment. They don't mind practicing on you until they perfect it, and they can get really good at it if you let them. THAT is fun.
life pro tip: just like women, all men have different things that turn them on, so the argument that an experienced women will satisfy all men is a fallacy. The truth in professional escorts lie in the fact that they have the ability to read a man and figure out what gets him going. That is a human trait, not an escort trait.
Jessie_James 8y ago
I will respectfully disagree, but at the same time agree with you because you not only contradict yourself, but seem to actually agree with me:
Exactly my point. People have quite various likes and dislikes in bed.
You seem to think you can "train" a woman to like certain sex acts and all will be well. But you just said that is not the case, and it's quite myopic to think that anyone could do so, regarding sex or anything else.
If a woman does not enjoy anal sex and you do, are you really going to say that you should "teach" her and let her "experiment" and she'll magically love it?
So ... what if she hates it?
That's like saying "I'm a smoker, but I'm going to meet a woman who is not a smoker and train her to love smoking." The same could be said for food, drugs, habits, hobbies, etc.
You can't make someone love something just by telling them to try it more.
If you agree, I have some liver and onions here you should try. It's great!
MeatCurtainRod 8y ago
Cook it, and I will certainly try it. Cook it right, and I will eat it again. And again. And again. Get my point? Same with canned peaches. I know a girl who absolutely hated canned peaches. Why? Because she was told so, and forever avoided canned peaches. Until she tried it. So now she loves them. THAT is the point.
This whole notion of "if you fail once, you are forever a failure" is a fucking disastrous mindset and NEEDS to change.
PS: I FUCKING LOVE onions. I think if you put onions on any meal, it will taste good. And if you even suggest some bullshit answer like "but onions and ice cream don't go together" then obviously this argument is over as you are just arguing edge cases.
Jessie_James 8y ago
You completely missed the point.
MeatCurtainRod 8y ago
I am purposefully ignoring your point because you have such a bluepill mindset that it isn't even worth validating. You claim women have this reservation towards certain men. You claim women are so special. You claim women are either sluts, and then there are special women for just you in the world.
Seriously dude, your bluepill point of view needs to change. Welcome to TRP. My point was that being a virgin does not mean does not want sex. You apparently seem to think that virgins are useless in bed, and if they aren't then they are unicorns. Fuck, get women off their damn pedestal because that shitty mindset is your failure.
fort_wendy 8y ago
ITT: How to spot Unicorns
Espada18 8y ago
After reading most of these 'Green flags', I think I've found a keeper.
truchisoft 8y ago
Its just your turn, remember that.
Espada18 8y ago
My turn at what?
truchisoft 8y ago
At fucking her
Espada18 8y ago
Yeah, she's a virgin..
truchisoft 8y ago
Great, you got the first number!
SpaceCrunch 8y ago
Thorough responses to texts. The kind of text that has multiple sentences with relevant and useful information.
Also, being on time to meet up with me.
scarletspider3 8y ago
Is supportive of you and your goals. Also if you mention that your broke and she doesn't run to the door or start acting different.
sabinmightyfist 8y ago
wants sex everyday raised by good family goes to very good school enrolled in a difficult school program and has job related to field low partner count ( as a man you'll never really know her count, but with the evidence I've gathered I presume it to be low)