Yesterday went out with a group of friends and my ex from 10 years was there. She was laughing at all my jokes, had the puppy eyes look so I texted her today to meetup to watch a movie together, she said who is coming. I told her us two. 3 if you count the neighbor's dog. We entered the flat, we talked for a minute and then i put on the movie but there was no kino during that time. THen during the movie, i out my hand around her and rested my head on hers.
While watching the movie, went for the first kiss but she moved away her face. Shoe moved a bit away and after a while I went again ( I thought it was ASD). We kissed for a bit and then she said i don't feel it's right (I think i should have agreed and amplified but honestly i still don't know what i should have done else) so I stopped and then after that I tried to reinitiate and we kissed for even logner so then i slowly started to caress tit and she was surprised but I felt like she liked it but she moved away. After the movie we started talking about how are things as it was years since we have seen each other. She is a shy person and it took her an hour to articulate that she doesn't want to see anyone now, she doesn't know my intentions and let's just be friends. I don't know what doesnt know my intentions means. I'm not robbing a bank. I just wanna fuck and have fun while we're together.
I feel so good that I tried. I'm not pissed off but I'm proud that I tried. It's been years since I tried something. I want to know where I was lacking. My next aim is to get comfortable getting rejected a i have a deep fear of rejection. So I hve to force myself to approach and talk to women even though I know it will feel uncomfortable for the first approaches.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 6d ago
Essential reading: Rooting Through Garbage by Rollo Tomassi.
Read that Rollo article.
Forget her and go after new women.
Good. Now go try with new women.
You were lacking in the part where you forget your ex and try new women.
Stop that. You're programming yourself to have that fear every time you say that crap.
Lebbaeus 6d ago
Correction, i used to have that deep fear of rejection
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6d ago
Rejection is just a girl saving you time so you can get to the next "yes" girl faster
Lebbaeus 6d ago
You will never escape her impression that you were so optionless you had to beg her to rekindle her intimacy with you. This hit me hard man. lots of work to be done. Thank you for the guidance. Also just read your article, I realize as the days pass by I'm catching negative thoughts more and stopping them. I'm doing good man.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 6d ago
Good. Keep it up.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6d ago
It's really hard to fuck an ex again. The one time I was able to it wasn't worth it
Once they've filed you away into an emotional sewer in their brain, it is really hard to get them in bed again and it's never as good as it used to be
The one time I did it I felt like robot during the act. My mood about it was draining and I felt like a soulless mannequin fucking this chick that had since taken dicks that weren't mine since the last time we fucked. I was partially checked out during
It wasn't that enjoyable and took 4-5 makeouts after the venue we happened to both go to closed to get that one lay
While she was over she overtly said she wanted to cancel but thought I'd be mad. Before we fucked half an hour later she said "I don't know if we shou.... Nevermind ' as we were escalating. The whole time before that she was texting her attorney over a family matter and it was clear her mind was on stress and not present on me
That same night we went to the venue we went to regularly and she disappears an hour or so into it after acting weird so I dance with other women
I later find her talking to the same guy she betrayed me over the previous year that had originally been the reason we stopped seeing each other anyway. She talks to him for two fucking hours one on one before her and her sister drive him to his house. She almost didn't even say bye to me passing me after I nutted straight in her just hours earlier.
All that work just to fuck this former FWB who I initially stopped seeing over a guy who was "just a friend" that she went home with in front of me just to basically do the same thing with the same guy the same day I managed to not only fuck her again but fill her up with my nut knowing she'd already taken plenty of new dicks since me the year prior
Not to mention, I hadn't even seen this guy for a year since that one incident before it, and you have to wonder if she deliberately invited him out that night in particular considering he didn't bring his truck for some reason (possibly ubered there to get them both drunk) and he had no history of really showing up except for her and it had been over a year since I last saw him show up
It's really not worth the ego lay man. You're only going to be fucking a worse version of the woman you used to fuck and have a connection with. Women almost never upgrade in between relationships outside of gold digging for a higher income bracket. They are virtually always older and less attractive and have been with worse men since you since you last saw each other and their soul is that much more gone by the time you fuck. And there is too much sewage under the bridge™ to even feel all that good
There is no reason to try to fuck an ex again, not even pride, any time reason tou can rationalize to fuck an ex again boils down to scarcity and misplaced ego
Lebbaeus 6d ago
Yeah it's not worth it all. Personally, doing that gave me my confidence back man. I'm gonna focus ton meeting new girls and report back here for more feedback
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6d ago
That's good man, keep grinding you'll find better
Kloi 6d ago
I'm going to have to disagree.
I've fucked 3 out of four of "exes" with almost no real work. All I did was stop contacting them and started genuinely improving my life. All of them eventually came back around on their own accord within 16 months. Two of them, even cheating on their current BF. One messaged my current GF (apparently they were BFFs in middle school) Please don't date him. He knows I'm still in love with him! While in an absolutely miserable relationship she is still in. We split in 2017ish.
Again I really didn't have to do shit but ignore them, focusing on myself.
My first GF used me as rebound dick between every single guy after we reconnected. It'd always go the same. After a couple weeks of fucking, we'd be laying there in bed and she'd say something like, why don't we give this another shot. I'd always laugh and point around her room. This isn't the type of life I want from my partner.
100% agree with this statement. This is why it's so easy, while they're SMV declined, mine to this day has continues to experience jagged growth.
As far is OP is concerned, I would never actively pursue an ex but in my experience they always come back around naturally when you're in a better position in life.
This is where you're lacking but you already knew that didn't you? For the love of gods, ride this high into some new pussy. Please.
Lebbaeus 6d ago
Honestly dude, I had arrived to a point where I had completely given up on myself. Just the act of inviting her over and escalating made me feel like I'm the fckin man and got my balls back.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6d ago
Post was already long, meant to say unless you ended on better terms than not and changed something besides just time
Why did you quote OP under my reply? I didn't say that
Lebbaeus 6d ago
One last question, I really want to do MMA but I'm lifting 4 times a week. Is there anyone who balanced both? Making gym gains while being able to do MMA 2 times a week. Might switch to 3x Gym and 2X MMA
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6d ago
I wouldn't know, i've never done MMA
reply to your post instead of me so people see it and I'll sticky it
Kloi 6d ago
You'd be totally fine as long as your diet and sleep is allowing for adequate recovery.
Kloi 6d ago
Only one out of four my relationships ended on good terms so i don't think that really matters.
I know you didn't. That was directed towards the OP. I guess it was late and I was being lazy by confining everything to a single reply.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6d ago
when you see them around all the time it matters. Their week to week seeing you around doesn't award you the contrast of growth. especially when there is no room for dust to settle
Kloi 5d ago
Now I'm the one that's confused.
I don't think it matters if the relationship ended well or not. At least in my experience.
We're on the same page you need growth and an extended period of no contact. I have never reached out to an ex, they always made the first move 6-16 months later.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5d ago
Impossible when you banged them at a place you both frequent
Nevermind my comment