What's up Brothers, hope you're all good.
I'm a teacher in a school, and I stay in the staff quarters/lodge.
One of the female teachers seems into me. She has been giving me lots of IOIs, such as unnecessary playful touches, laughing at my statements which don't seem funny etc.
she also said (if she were to date any guy among the guys, it would be me) during a Truth or Dare game.
She is always tensed around me.
She has an apartment in another town, and only comes to teach twice a week.
She also reviewed during the Truth/Dare game that, she isn't really ready for a serious relationship RN.
I just want to bang her, and maybe make her a plate. I don't want a anything serious.
Is this a good idea? I'm thinking I get her number, chat with her. Then tell her I want to come over her place. My aim is just to fuck her. I have no serious plans with her.
I don't have an apartment of my own. The room in the staffs lodge I stay is shared with 2 other guys.
Thanks for your feedback!
Attempt to answer: I think it's not a bad idea, because I don't have any serious plans with her.
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Lone_Ranger 3 4w ago
I find myself almost alone in NOT adhering to the 'don't shit where you eat' rule. I think it is stupid. I have always shagged as many women as possible wherever I have worked. The office is a brilliant place to meet women. And when word gets around that you have banged a few of them, then they all want some. There is nothing better than a 'bad reputation' for notchign up some easy lays. The hive mind and FOMO does all the work for you.
To those that say 'you'll get fired' - I wish that were the case, because I would have gone straight to a labour tribunal and I would 100% have won compensation for unfair dimsissal. consensual relations between adults is not 'just cause' for dismissal, and I would have been awarded a multiple of my salary in compensation.
Go ahead and bang who you want - as long as its consensual.
The bigger question is why the hell are you asking us about this? asking others for permission to do what you want to do is one of the most pheggy things a man can do.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 4w ago
Your word against hers.
Soyciety takes the woman's word over the man's, unless the man presents proof.
kawzero Should i (x1) 4w ago
???????? Thanks for the advice. She also enjoys swimming, and we have done that as a group before. With other staff.
I plan taking her to the pool, then to her place to get laid. She into me as hell.
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Lone_Ranger 3 4w ago
remember to report back. Im curious to know if you are all talk or actually got some balls.
kawzero Should i (x1) 2w ago
@Lone_Ranger Here's what happened bro.
We haven't met since then, until yesterday morning. She came to the lodge/school and ended up in my room hanging with me and my roommate (she's a casual friend to my roommate). When roommate stepped out for a minute, I hit her with “There’s something I want to tell you” then paused and said nothing. Roommate walked back in after 40–50 seconds. Later she slid into my DM privately and asked
“You said you wanted to talk to me, is it something private?” (NOTE: We have never texted before, maybe she got my number from our Whatsapp group) .
When roommate stepped out again, she asked verbally what it was. Told her “We’ll talk.” She said okay.
She also forgot her charger cord in the room by accident. Few hours later she messaged again asking if the charger was really there. I I Replied short: “Here✔️” She thumbs-upped. That night around 9 PM, decided to open the original “is it something private?” DM and run some game. To build intrigue, I decided to start by.
Me: “Why are you doing this?” Her: “How do you mean” Me: “Something about you has been bugging me.” Her: “What?” Me: “If I tell you now, u might overthink it. You know what?” Her: “Not interested” That was the last message. Didn’t reply. Haven’t opened anything else, no double-text, no viewing stories, full radio silence since then.
My plan was to tell her "I want to come and see you at your apartment."
after my last message (You know what?)
I feel my mistake was:
I built strong intrigue and got her chasing multiple times in one day with a “private thing” hook, but prolonged the mystery without closing to a meet-up fast → she defensively shut it down with “Not interested” (likely thinking I was heading toward a serious/relationship talk). Or she want to preserve her ego. Or maybe she's joking/shit testing. Anyway I didn't reply her again and don't plan to.
I feel a bit pained though, because I wanted to bang her, and she seemed into me.
.
Lone_Ranger 3 2w ago
it sounds like you have your answer.
kawzero Should i (x1) 2w ago
Any suggestions/advice on best thing to do next?
kawzero Should i (x1) 3w ago
Definitely bro. Will update you guys how it goes.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1mo ago
That's 1 "should I?". Penalties for making "should I?" posts.
Usually not a good idea. There's a reason the phrase "don't shit where you eat" is so prevalent.
If you don't give 2 shits about the job, knock yourself out and bang this bitch.
Yeah, that's great until she changes her mind and you don't. Suddenly, regret turns into charges of rape.
Are you all still teenagers?!
Musicgoon78 3 1mo ago
Jesus man... Don't shit where you eat and get your own place. FFS!
kawzero Should i (x1) 1mo ago
Thanks bro. But, Honestly, I don't give shit abt the job. So I don't mind risking it.
Musicgoon78 3 1mo ago
Well then my brother just go after what you want. Escalate and go from there.
Take her to a hotel or where I used to live there was a place that you could rent a hot tub room for an hour. That was good shit!
kawzero Should i (x1) 2w ago
Here's what happened bro.
We haven't met since then, until yesterday morning. She came to the lodge/school and ended up in my room hanging with me and my roommate (she's a casual friend to my roommate). When roommate stepped out for a minute, I hit her with “There’s something I want to tell you” then paused and said nothing. Roommate walked back in after 40–50 seconds. Later she slid into my DM privately and asked
“You said you wanted to talk to me, is it something private?” (NOTE: We have never texted before, maybe she got my number from our Whatsapp group) .
When roommate stepped out again, she asked verbally what it was. Told her “We’ll talk.” She said okay.
She also forgot her charger cord in the room by accident. Few hours later she messaged again asking if the charger was really there. I I Replied short: “Here✔️” She thumbs-upped. That night around 9 PM, decided to open the original “is it something private?” DM and run some game. To build intrigue, I decided to start by.
Me: “Why are you doing this?” Her: “How do you mean” Me: “Something about you has been bugging me.” Her: “What?” Me: “If I tell you now, u might overthink it. You know what?” Her: “Not interested” That was the last message. Didn’t reply. Haven’t opened anything else, no double-text, no viewing stories, full radio silence since then.
My plan was to tell her "I want to come and see you at your apartment."
after my last message (You know what?)
I feel my mistake was:
I built strong intrigue and got her chasing multiple times in one day with a “private thing” hook, but prolonged the mystery without closing to a meet-up fast → she defensively shut it down with “Not interested” (likely thinking I was heading toward a serious/relationship talk). Or she want to preserve her ego. Or maybe she's joking/shit testing. Anyway, I didn't reply her again and don't plan to.
I feel a bit pained though, because I wanted to bang her, and she seemed into me.
.
Musicgoon78 3 2w ago
Let me be brutally honest. This was really bad. That's ok. This is a learning moment for you.
First off, the amount of overthinking you're doing is staggering. You've made a ton of assumptions. None of them based in reality. Never assume this kind of stuff. That's a big mistake and will keep you from growing.
Now, a man that has confidence and a masculine presence will not "build intrigue". He moves in swiftly and decisively. This was very passive and uncalibrated. You were unclear and playing games with someone that doesn't know your sense of humor. This was very unattractive and confusing. I guarantee you pissed her off. I would be super pissed if I got messages like this. She doesn't want to play games. That's not seduction, it's immaturity.
If you're going to ask a woman out, do it directly. Face to face. Don't play around. Don't ever build intrigue again! That's going to give you a 100% failure rate.
kawzero Should i (x1) 2w ago
Alright bro. Appreciate the honesty. Maybe I will let her pass.
I agree I fucked up .
kawzero Should i (x1) 4w ago
Well said Bro. She also enjoys swimming, and we have done that as a group before. With other staffs.
I plan taking her to the pool, then to her place to get laid. She into me as hell.
First-light 2 1mo ago
Based on all your comments, I say go for it.
I would try keeping it discrete unless she starts telling people. This allows you to act the great gentleman, keeping the lady's secrets and it saves you from pissing off colleagues. Jealousy can develop if a guy starts banging a female member of staff in a tight community, particularly if she has been quite a large character.
I would invite her to meet on an off day and suggest a weekend trip away that would involve staying in a hotel. Depending on whether she shits where she eats, you might get to even use her apartment later on. If not, that should tell you something.
Its not got to be a binary thing where you fuck the job up if you fuck the woman or you keep the job safe by not banging. Keeping it discrete can make the exit a lot easier and greatly limit damage potential. Lots of sluts love this sort of approach because they love having double lives and getting lots of male attention. When you get one of these, if you can keep it like this and do not get emotionally involved, its an easy quite long term casual thing.
kawzero Should i (x1) 4w ago
Great insight Bro. She also enjoys swimming, and we have done that as a group before, with other staffs.
So, I'm planning taking her swimming, then we proceed to her place to get laid. She's into me as hell.
First-light 2 4w ago
Great. Plausible deniability for all -she only went swimming with you. This is a good idea.
However, I also feel Typo's point deserves consideration. He is giving the worst case scenario. but even in the best case, you have to know when to quit. If she starts to be into you as opposed to wants to keep it casual, it will end badly. Once she is into the idea of a relationship (whatever her idea of that is), unless you end up marrying her, there will be a bitter awkward end. You have to get out early enough that there is not serious damage. Women are usually bitter to exes. A bitter ex in the work place is not good news and might lead to problems.
Getting into her bed will be the easy bit...
kawzero Should i (x1) 2w ago
Here's what happened bro.
We haven't met since then, until yesterday morning. She came to the lodge/school and ended up in my room hanging with me and my roommate (she's a casual friend to my roommate). When roommate stepped out for a minute, I hit her with “There’s something I want to tell you” then paused and said nothing. Roommate walked back in after 40–50 seconds. Later she slid into my DM privately and asked
“You said you wanted to talk to me, is it something private?” (NOTE: We have never texted before, maybe she got my number from our Whatsapp group) .
When roommate stepped out again, she asked verbally what it was. Told her “We’ll talk.” She said okay.
She also forgot her charger cord in the room by accident. Few hours later she messaged again asking if the charger was really there. I I Replied short: “Here✔️” She thumbs-upped. That night around 9 PM, decided to open the original “is it something private?” DM and run some game. To build intrigue, I decided to start by.
Me: “Why are you doing this?” Her: “How do you mean” Me: “Something about you has been bugging me.” Her: “What?” Me: “If I tell you now, u might overthink it. You know what?” Her: “Not interested” That was the last message. Didn’t reply. Haven’t opened anything else, no double-text, no viewing stories, full radio silence since then.
My plan was to tell her "I want to come and see you at your apartment."
after my last message (You know what?)
I feel my mistake was:
I built strong intrigue and got her chasing multiple times in one day with a “private thing” hook, but prolonged the mystery without closing to a meet-up fast → she defensively shut it down with “Not interested” (likely thinking I was heading toward a serious/relationship talk). Or she want to preserve her ego. Or maybe she's joking/shit testing. Anyway, I didn't reply her again and don't plan to.
I feel a bit pained though, because I wanted to bang her, and she seemed into me.
.
First-light 2 2w ago
Thanks for the update. Sorry to hear how it went.
I think sometimes we are the ones who over think things. Odds are she does get it that you are interested in her but you never know she might not even have understood from the confusing way it went.
I think that the way you were trying to do it would have been OK if there had been massive sexual tension between you two with neither able to come out and say it but as it is she was only interested, not infatuated. That is not to say she could not have become more interested but she does not want someone to fall in love with her (she is not looking for a relationship she has said). If she went down the route of that conversation she would be locking in to a path where there was no easy way to back out except a cold refusal if you got too clingy, too urgent.
I think you might have done better to say "wanna go swimming?" That leaves it all open and gives time to build things with her.
When women say they are unavailable they are usually telling the truth but they are also almost always lying about why. "I just want to focus on getting established in my career now" is the common answer. They might be unavailable for a relationship because they have their career on max priority but there is usually something else too. Why turn down the benefits of having a man? Women who are really trying to establish themselves are go getters. They make poor girlfriends but they still want it all. Women always want a bit more of good things. If a woman does not want a relationship because she is studying or starting in a career there is more than just career to it. Either they are saving themselves for a chance for someone way out of their league (least likely) or (most likely) have a "situationship" or two with richer older men while working in an earlier stage of their career. They are being boosted by these men and want to keep life simple.
Women love attention. Having a man adds to their perceived value. If woman is refusing that outwardly, she is still almost always available for it privately but only provided the man is high enough value and prepared to take what he is given and not ask for any more. They usually have learned from experience that the complications of a relationship that they do not fully want are too great and may cost them benefits either now or in the future. (Always follow the benefit with women, Briffault's law always wins).
If you just make it simple for them -take them out, show them a good time and when they are relaxed on the right night escalate, you will be able to enjoy them (if you feel its worth jumping those hoops).
I would be interested to know more of your situation. How old are you, how old is she, what is your country that sort of thing. It might shed more light on my thoughts above. But we all need our privacy too, so no worries if you don't want to say.
kawzero Should i (x1) 2w ago
Thanks for the deep insights bro. This is a solid take.
She might be serious with her reply, has lost interest or was kidding/shit testing. However all I want Is to bang her, the IOIs from her have been a lot.
Maybe the intrigue I created, was too much, but it is what it is. She's coming to school tomorrow morning, her charger cable is till in my room, so we'll definitely meet tomorrow.
I plan to just laugh at her reaction tmrw, when we meet, and then be like "what were you thinking I wanted to you?" Then make fun of her reacting like a little girl etc etc, From there I will tell her in a very serious manner "I want to come over to your place"
What do you think? Honestly, my plan is to make her a plate and be fucking each other. I hate LTRs, have never had one.
She's also indicated she doesn't want anything serious, so makes sense to be fucking her.
I'm a handsome guy, in shape, and workout regularly. Girls show interest in me a lot. Maybe, I have to be more direct with my approaches with women after several IOIs.
NB: I'm 26, she's around 24yrs. Nigeria.
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First-light 2 2w ago
Thanks for clarifying that. That's what I thought. I wasn't sure it was Nigeria but I was pretty sure you were young professionals in sub Saharan Africa.
In that case my advice is do not fuck about with mind games. Do not be ashamed of desiring her but do not let it be a big thing -its there is she wants it zero pressure. Be courteous, be generous, allow 100% plausible deniablity (it will happen when she is ready), be prepared for no a few times before yes. Of course if you don't meet the bar she has in her head its no use anyway but if you do, it is very likely the doors will swing open if you knock politely and grease the hinges.
She is a young professional who does not want to blow it picking a man who is lower quality than she would like, disappoint parents or earn a bad rep with employers. There is a medium possibility of a sugar daddy on the scene, it could even be someone working higher up in the school.
If you do not simp out, appear to fall in love or act like an unworthy immature man who needs mind games, much may be possible. She is constrained by not wanting to be caught fucking up. Make sure she is not caught and you may well get to enjoy.
kawzero Should i (x1) 2w ago
Alright bro, thanks for the advice. Will see how it goes.
kawzero Should i (x1) 3w ago
Alright man. Well said. Will update you guys how it goes.