Met this girl off Tinder a while ago. She unmatched me after ghosting but if I'm remembering the conversation correctly I opened with some flirty pickup line which she responded positively to. After a bit of banter I asked her out and she agreed and gave me the # so we could set it up
Once I moved the conversation to text we made a short conversation about our day and then I went for logistics. We agreed on a day 3-4 days out but there was a snowstorm and I wasn't really feeling it so I decided to try and go for just meeting up at her place. I sexualized a little bit but nothing too crazy
She can't do her place so I suggest going for a drive and boom ghosted.
Last screenshot is the day we had set up to meet (Wednesday). There's a bit missing but you can probably fill it in. Personally I don't see where I'm going wrong. I guess I could be more assertive/decisive instead of asking
But yeah I've used a few different texting strategies, flirty/fun and bantering (which seems to get me the closest to meeting up) overtly sexual (this got me banned), typical conversation (How has your day been, any plans for the weekend, etc.) but that gets me ghosted pretty quick if not ignored.
I could show the conversation with the girl who was really into me and I was able to meetup with but catfished me by like 2-3 points IRL (I couldn't bring myself to escalate and go for a kiss cause I wasn't attracted) for an example of when my banter worked but that was probably cause she was really into me. Literally the only girl that's been like that with me
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago Stickied
OP said the part of his post where the SpongeBob cold meme starts, his attempt at game/logistics for coming over was:
financehardo420 3w ago
text ss #1:
Instead of giving her like 3 dif time slots and asking her “if they work” you say something like “I’m free Wednesday let’s grab drinks” etc.
text 2:
financehardo420 3w ago
@verm did u delete rest my comment? Da fuq?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
How tf would I be able to edit your comments
Did you add any characters in your post that format remove everything after them?
There are certain characters or emojis that will read as markdown format that will nuke everything after it.
financehardo420 3w ago
Ahhh I see that makes sense that’s where it cut off used an emoji
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Why are so many parts of your conversation with her missing? There is zero continuity between photos of your conversation, and half of your texts to her are cropped to hell, cutting them off completely
Please post a clear conversation on imgur, you definitely fucked up in your conversation to her very badly but i can't even give you feedback because half of the relevant conversation is missing due to bad cropping and bad screenshots
joyboy 3w ago
Old screenshots and the conversation is deleted from my phone. I lost a lot of the conversations I had so most are discontinuous. I didn't say anything autistic lmao she would've ghosted if I did? Why would it get to the point of her saying she could be down if I said anything autistic?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Like for example you typed something before "bearable (monkey blind emoji) and those look like logistics at hers. But we have no idea what the fuck you said there, if it made sense, or if she was likely to agree to it or not.
The most important parts of your FR conversation are missing as far as logistics goes. No idea what was said and it's hard to give you feedback outside of the autism we can already see
joyboy 3w ago
I remember, I said it was super cold or something and then sent that gif of spongebob freezing, and then she said something like "haha yeah my house is cold af." Then I said "dw I know a way to make it bearable" and then the breaking your back line
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
You were autistic as fuck and she was being nice. Reply to your main post with the missing parts of your conversation to the best of your memory and I will sticky it to the top so we can see how you made logistics etc and don't post any more i incomplete FRs again. It is really hard to fill in the pieces.
Your lack of self awareness of the autism in this post is very high
joyboy 3w ago
Lol being "nice" bro she would just block or ghost way before like most girls
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Wow..
You REALLY don't understand women. You're going to sit here with no exp and tell me how women behave. Lol
Redpillpusher 3w ago
Well you're not autistic/bizarre in your conversation but you are unremarkable, which is still unacceptable, esp. When trying to get females online where there are at dozens of other men trying to get the same basic female. This and the huge amount of Catfishes, as you pointed out, make online dating a horrible place for many men, me included. Otherwise, hardo is correct, you're coming off as corny in the texts and indecisive. I'm incredibly goofy with females because I view them as children anyway but that side is revealed only after I've stretched her out
[deleted]
joyboy 3w ago
So I'm supposed to just be more serious? What happened to being playful and flirty and shit? How would I stand out over texting? I thought the point of texting is to mainly go for logistics after a little bit of banter to show that you aren't a serial killer
Redpillpusher 3w ago
You act "playful & flirty" in real life, not over texting, she hasn't met you and there is no sexual tension so being playful via text (not even voice call) is weird, unless you're witty enough (you are not). You could get away with that at the very least AFTER a successful in person meet. You thought correctly, the point of texting is to go for logistics but you failed. You did not lead by providing a discrete time & location, all you gave were several suggestions. Guess what: 10 other men are texting corny lines and saying "maybe we can do whatever, whenever you are free" just like you. That is why you are unremarkable & at that point, if she chooses between you 10 clones, she's going to go with the most attractive man, all your other assets become worthless.
joyboy 3w ago
Dude texting only for logistics is cringe you have to be playful and banter otherwise they’ll think your a serial killer
It’s not like I’m sitting there having full fledged conversations, just light convo. And I didn’t say “whenever your free” I gave her days I would be available and I already asked her out on the app to get boba
Redpillpusher 3w ago
Like I said, this is why online dating is worthless. If you had met her in real life, she wouldn't have to worry if you're a serial killer. If you continue to prefer texting corny lines to females, like ten other men are doing, fine, I'm just giving advice that works for me, keep trying a formula that hasn't worked for you. I was saying "whenever" as a loose exaggeration. You gave several days, showing indecisiveness to a female, one who's naturally indecisive. She will gravitate towards someone with a plan. Online dating isn't for you, nor is it for me. the difference between us is I realized this and adjusted my routine, you are not.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
You speedran getting rejected with almost no attraction or comfort by near immediately going full forward with a back breaking sex line before she even had a chance to respond to the cuddle line. Your chances were already low, but she might have responded positive the cuddle. But then you went full ASD and turn off with an autistic sex line when she had no reason to be ready for that level of escalation.
It's fucking retarded
joyboy 3w ago
Dude you’re talking about building “comfort” and “attraction” over text while other guys are talking about how I’m being a orbiter and I should text ONLY for logistics. Which is it?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
BOTH
She was a tinder girl. Girls that match you are already interested. But that doesn't mean trigger her ASD and get her to get to fuck a stranger before she ever meets him first. That's retarded unless she's a big slut or you're crazy hot. You're not going to build attraction over a text, i didn't say that. But girls that match you need to have rapport to meet and you obliterated it
Considering she matches you, you could have just stuck to logistics and should have since your game is evidently autistic
joyboy 3w ago
Yeah but girls get 10k matches so just sticking to logistics doesn't really work so you have to try to stand out. I've tried sticking only logistics and they just get bored and ghost
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Standing out like a sore thumb disgusts them like a sore thumb though
Look, you're failing hard and now you're arguing with a guy who "gets it" I'm just plain going to stop helping you because you're a complete waste of time of talk to.
You're arguing from a position of ignorance
joyboy 3w ago
Ok fine. So how should I go about it then according to you? Give an example conversation for something I should try and go for. Like am I literally going to be opening with "Lets meet for X at Y on Z?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
https://www.forums.red/p/asktrp/299826/game_on_tinder/7291214
joyboy 3w ago
Do you make those high effort openers for girls that don't invest much into their profile too? Like if they just have a generic pickup line/joke in their bio and then nothing else, no prompts or anything filled out
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
It's been a long time since I used these. The quality of OLD girls has dropped a ton in two years time
No. If their profile is vain/shit I don't. I've just used more direct statements now but I still use emotionally salient words etc
joyboy 3w ago
Alright bro I'm gonna try your approach of writing a few sentences. Not sure how it's gonna work out since I heard first messages should be light and easy to respond too but I'll give it a shot
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
It should be easy to respond to. Hence one of your parts should be a question
It should NOT be written in a way that is overwhelming. Most of my content to them is not stuff they would respond to, but many choose to
Redpillpusher 3w ago
And yes, like they said you need to reveal the entire conversation, you might have been autistic and hid it from the world
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Srsly how are we supposed to help an OP when half his logistics and game attempts are obscured lol
Maturin_nj 3w ago
She liked you enough to meet with you. This should havebeen a layup for a date with an attractive girl to have fun. Instead you pushed her away with some bullshit sexualizing over text. Text is for setting up dates and minimal talk. Try playing long game. This will require you to hold her in your frame longer. She is a person. And seemed pretty cool. Cooler than you. Shes not a plastic sex doll. You might even like her once you get to know her a little.
Much better post than your emotional outbursts of the past.
Lone_Ranger 1 3w ago
This is not really a field report, it is a report detailing your orbiting via text message.
Your issues are as follows;
First-light 3w ago
I think one of the crucial things to understand about female sexual behaviour is that they can only get sexually excited about men if they are feeling comfortable and if the man has crossed their value threshold for mating.
Unless you are very attractive and very smooth and she is a very big slut, you won't cross this threshold in an opening text conversation. So don't go sexual. At best she will be playing along if she responds to this sort of thing not feeling it and she may get nervous about doing that -is she agreeing to bang a guy she does not know if she wants to? That could be awkward, best run. Cuddling maybe a topic to touch on but that is the limit. You can only escalate after she has decided you cross the threshold. You can probe to see if this is the case as you go along but this is why the whole courtship ritual of doing something with the girl and usually feeding her something before you get on to seeking access to her pussy exists. It relaxes her, it proves your credentials as kind and capable, it gets you across the threshold.