edit. i'm talking about a situation where i'm already alone with a girl in a cafe where couples go to. i thought you were supposed to help me fuck instead of telling me to go fuck myself....

I lost 20kg. I still need to lose 30kg to not be fat.

A girl takes my picture and shows it to me. I feel bad about how fat I am. It makes me feel like I'm not supposed to escalate. Outside she wants to take my picture. I run away because I'm fat.

I am very self critical.

I'm not used to asking what I want and taking what I want. In my mind, I give them "space" because if they actually want me, they will fill that space. The reason I'm doing this: I am trying to maximize odds of my happiness, not trying to maximize odds of sex