Should I be honest and tell her I do think of her when I’m not busy or?
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago Stickied
This is a serious newbie question. You should READ THE SIDEBAR before posting
Since it seems like you haven't
Always DARE never DEER with women
Illimitable Men Shit Test Encyclopedia
DragonNuts 1mo ago
If you are in a casual situation I would keep it casual.
Women feed of validation of their attractiveness. It's survival.
You can say some shit like "Yeah I think about bending that ass over every second. I'm thinking it now slaps her ass, smirk, chuckle, escalate."
Imo that's indicative of a strong sexual frame.
Or "I think of you just as much as you me.".
Or "Who the fuck are you? Another stalker snuck in? BE GONE WENCH"
Testme 1mo ago
Psychological questions are usually either traps (see Vermillion's answer) or they are validation seeking. In this case, it is the latter. So, you have a lower quality woman trying to use you to validate her insecurities. "Validation" means to make her feel ok about her insecurities or reassure her that "everything is ok". For example, here she is worried that you are not devoted to her enough. She thinks of you when you are not around and worries that you do not do the same thing, thus making her feel like she might like you more than you like her, which makes her feel like she has less power over you, or even that you might leave her, making her even more insecure. "Validation" is when you say "Oh, I think about you all of the time" making her feel (1) more powerful in the relationship / more control over you, and (2) more secure because you are more devoted.
Here's the rule: NEVER VALIDATE
Another issue here is that she is asking you a question. That is bad in and of itself because when one person questions another, then the interrogator is assuming the superior role and the person being question is the subordinate. Obviously you do not want to allow her to be in a role where she is superior to you--it's disrespectful.
One way to deal with these kinds of questions is to not answer it directly but to say something related. For example, you could say: "I think about important things and that's what you should be doing as well." So, by saying this you are being responsive, but you are not actually answering her question (which would be submissive). Also, by saying "...that's what you should be doing as well" you are asserting dominance and showing leadership in the relationship.
Boosted_Arrow 1mo ago
This is a shit test. You can agree and amplify: yea babe literally all the time, I see your face on all the other girls.
Pressure flip: Bitch you think you're that special huh?
disagree and amplify: no never, actually I totally forget you even exist, it's like alzheimers
Lone_Ranger 1 1mo ago
"I think of you all the time, Janet"
Use Janet if her name is not Janet.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
This is kind of a Schrödinger's shit test. It's actually a comfort test but if OP fails it she actually loses attraction for him if it's evident he thinks about her way too much
S0me0ne 1mo ago
“no never, actually I totally forget you even exist, it's like alzheimers” i liked that one, something I would say in a playful way
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
too drawn out man. Read the sidebar
S0me0ne 1mo ago
After reading men shit test encyclopedia I think agree and amplify is good in this case, what would you say?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
I wouldn't
"Yeah sometimes" change convo in the same message
It's that complicated
Theolympicnomad 1mo ago
Fuck that, a former fuck buddy of mine asks me if I miss her. I flat out said "No".
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
There we go
S0me0ne 1mo ago
That’s what I was going to do before asking the question on here but I’m glad I asked because I’m now reading a lot of things I wouldn’t have and thank you for your time.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
No problem man best of luck
S0me0ne 1mo ago
If I ever need advice on anything, can I message you?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
I have limited time, I can answer questions but I can't provide the equivalent of coaching or extended help
S0me0ne 1mo ago
No problem
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
"Yep, sometimes".
or the fun option: "Who are you again?"
or the more extreme: "Of course I do Sara". (assuming her name isn't Sara)
or the nuclear option: "Which one are you again?"
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Assuming OP is a newbie only the first one is one he'll be able to handle. He won't be be able to follow up with the more extreme ones when she inevitably shit tests him even harder after that
Impressive-Cricket-8 1mo ago
Quite a few good answers already, so I'll just add my two cents: don't take her seriously. It's a dumb question, give it a dumb answer.
I'd go with something like "whenever I'm horny", or just a "meh" and not elaborating further. If she insists, change the subject. If she still keeps at it, ignore it and change the subject again - like you were never even talking about that bullshit. If she really keeps at it, or gets pissed, call her out on her behaviour "damn, next time I think about you, I'll remember how crazy you are". Just don't take stupid questions seriously.
Intrepid_Place53900 1mo ago
(do you ever think of me when we aren't talking)
ya babe, just the other day I got a hard-on and thought why aren't you here to take care of this
Lone_Ranger 1 1mo ago
I am assuming that this is over text message?
For the love of god, do not answer with ANY kind of answer.
Keep text messages for logistics only.
Only acceptable answer is 'You around for a chill out later on? My place at 8pm'
That is it. Do not get dragged into convos on text. That is entering her frame.