"I. Be irrationally self-confident No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy than rational defeatism."
How are you supposed to develop this type of irrational self confidence when all you've experienced is negative reinforcement with rejection after rejection, ghost after ghost? I've been ghosted/rejected by 200+ girls so how am I supposed to be confident?
Would appreciate it if people who could actually relate would offer advice (aka have had failure after failure but kept pushing through to see a success) instead of guys who will say "Just do it" or "Get in the gym". It's hard to not get demotivated and you just feel more and more like shit if you go so long without a success.
pancakesforbreakfast 3w ago
Alright you approach counting autist. You want to be the guy who needs more so others get less, the suave character of mystery who women swarm over, and the world’s mistress?
The very first thing you have to do is forget about numbers. Forget about success and failure; after all, success can only exist if someone (you) gives it a definition, with failure being the inverse logical equivalent.
There are people who have done no approaches in their life but have what you constantly struggle after. They never think about numbest of successes, failures, number of approaches, because they haven’t trapped themselves mentally like you have. We can blame Instagram for incubating a culture of narcissistic fantasies but I’m partial towards blaming you for your own shit, because as men that’s what we’re responsible for.
So… success doesn’t actually exist, failure doesn’t actually exist: you’re probably thinking what exists and that’s a great question. I’ll let you answer that for yourself. If you want to improve, it’s an easy answer with self reflection. If you can't answer it, you don't want to and aren't ready.
After (if) you figure that out, self-confidence is easier than lifting a 10 lb dumbbell. There are people who have banged 10 chicks in the past half year with no self confidence, constantly defining themselves through the validation of women, and others who have banged a third of the number (the .3 is for flicking a nipple) and are completely cool with expressing themselves.
Do you think Kanye West would lose confidence if he was rejected by anybody in the world?
Addendum: Fuck you for looking for an Alpha checklist. If it were that easy, TRP wouldn’t exist.
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Yeah well unfortunately you have to actually succeed one bit at a time. If you keep failing repeatedly at everything with women, then you need to set your goals very low and start succeeding at square one. And then when you succeed at square one move to square two until you are succeeding at square 10 or whatever your goal is.
Sounds like you're shooting over your pay grade. Also you still should read/finish rational male. I don't think you're going to have success at all if your ideas of how women work are all wrong.
joyboy 1mo ago
I'm almost done with it lol. It seems more oriented towards guys who are completely in the "AFC" camp aka they think women are princesses, there is always someone for everyone, being a beta orbiter will get them laid eventually once she sees how great they are, etc. I already knew all this shit from when I read redpill/blackpill content years ago.
I'm failing on the game side of things. By shooting above my pay grade are you saying I have too high standards? Maybe you're right but I can't bring myself to fuck fatties. I would just feel disgusted and even worse off than before.
Lone_Ranger 1 1mo ago
That's because you are making the mistake of using the women you bang as some sort of measure of the value of yourself as a man.
Loads of young men make this mistake. They think that if they bang 5's (or lower) then it devalues them as a man. They think,
"If I fuck this fattie, then I can't really be a chad. It's better to fuck nothing that fuck a low value woman"
This is the losers mentality that keeps men frustrated, sexless, spergy, loser incels. I have seen it all the time - guys that are themselves at best a 5, going around college saying 'she's a 5, I would never bang her'. So they get nothing. Occasionally, they get their courage together and will approach a 9, get shot down in a blaze of glory, and say 'well, I tried'.
You have to realise that your value as a man has nothing to do with the quality of women you bang. If you want to fuck some girl who is a 5, or who is chubby, just fuck her, and stop quibbling like a little fucking cuck.
LISTEN TO YOUR DICK. If your dick wants to fuck a girl, then lay on your game and see if you can pull her. It really is that simple. All through college my mates and I would fuck as many women as possible, regardless of how attractive they were.
Fucking fatties and 5s gives you that confidence that you need later on. Its really only after you've fucked 25 average women that you are going to be able to land those better looking chicks.
Women are intuitive. Its like they have x-ray specs - they can see through you and they know fake confidence from real confidence. When a guy is standing in front of them, and laying on his best game, they know if he is shagger or not. They know if this guy has a high body count or not. If there are two guys trying to game them, they will always choose the guy with the most confidence and highest body count. They just know.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Then you should probably read Day Bang my Roosh V next or something like that that is a pretty mild game read compared to more advanced stuff. You're definitely not ready for anything advanced.
no. i didn't say that anywhere. I mean you are obviously trying to accomplish goals you don't have the skills for, such as pulling girls or really moving forward with them much at all. Idk why your skills are as underdeveloped as you are, its probably as simple as your skills aren't great + you have a bad attitude/demeanor with women.
You need to drop your standards so far as your goals are concerned. Set your goals low. Make a girl laugh, hold a conversation with a girl you don't know for 5 minutes, invite a girl to a group function, get a girl's number. Rinse and repeat basic steps until you have a good idea of what works and doesn't work at your most basic steps. Then progress. No guy should be struggling this hard in "200+ approaches" unless they are massively fucking up basic steps
joyboy 1mo ago
I can do all these pretty consistently. The one date I ever had she said she had a good time and wanted to see me again (she invited me directly to her dorm over text a few hours after). I couldn't go through with it cause she looked nothing like the girl I swiped on.
I haven't done 200+ approaches, that's 200+ girls in total including IRL/online. Most of the girls I talk to are off the apps (like 80%) with the rest being irl daygame approaches on my campus since I'm not that into the drinking/partying scene which could be a limiting factor.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Right but man 1/200+ that's not good.
Okay, so I was just giving you an example, if you already have step one stuff down then start moving to step 2 stuff like turning conversations from 5 to 10 minutes, making plans, etc
If you're consistently bombing out there then you are either messing up step 2 stuff or you actually aren't as good as you think at step 1 stuff, which heavily impacts step 2 stuff
joyboy 1mo ago
Yeah that makes sense. You're right about the bad attitude by the way. I made another post about it on here
"I have a bad mindset which is fucking up my interactions with girls. I can’t get out of my head when i’m talking to them and I always have these thoughts in the back of my brain, like for example I think that she probably fucked guys more attractive/charismatic than me in the past so why would she want me, I’m not interesting enough for her to be interested, how am I supposed compete with all the other dudes in her DMs, etc."
I fee like this is the main thing holding me back when I approach and talk to girls in public or even online ( "she's probably going to end up ghosting me anyway just like every other girl", "she probably has 6'4 jacked rugby players messaging her", etc.)
I didn't have these thoughts during my date since I felt like I was the only guy she was interested in which let me get out my head. But I'm not sure how to maintain that mindset throughout all of my interactions
First-light 1mo ago
I do not see this as practically possible and I do not see it as being actually desirable either. A man should know himself, including his limitations. Otherwise what is he but a twit at best, the sort of over entitled thing that we see in "where are all the good men?" women.
Anyway that said, yes one needs to go from zero or eve minus to something realistic and positive on the self confidence front. It is not wise to be irrationally self confident. It is also unwise to be irrationally underconfident and if you are failing a lot with women and you are not someone with a physical or mental disability, you will be actually underconfident. You will have learned that failure is normal, when it should not be normal for a normal man to fail 100% of the time.
What to do about it? Acknowledge that you have a negative view of reality. Work in small practical steps. Keep a record of you small successes.
The record keeping can be surprisingly helpful. Every day wright down all your positive encounters with women and why you think they were positive This is a cognitive behavioural approach and it will reinforce your successes. So if you smile at a girl and hold the door for her and she says thanks with a smile, you write it down. If you make a girl laugh, you write it down and so on. Try it you might surprise yourself. It creates a virtuous circle of action, leading to positive reinforcement leading to more action which all leads to a gradual and realistic improvement in self image.
joyboy 1mo ago
Thanks man. I'll try it, but I don't see how it's going to fix my mindset. I get these terrible thoughts with every girl I talk to and I know it's fucking me up.
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
It's experience. Confidence comes from experience. When I got back from Asia I had banged so many hotties that I had very high confidence. Then I started encountering all these entitled American chicks and was blown away. Like wtf? I have to play these stupid games and jump through all these hoops and be rich and tall and blah blah just to get with a fat average chick? Fuck that shit! Bye Felicia!
joyboy 1mo ago
You need experience to get confidence but you can't get confidence without the experience.. Catch 22
MFVORX 1mo ago
If that's the case, how is anyone getting laid and/or employed?
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
It's not a catch 22. You get experience by attempting something. If you get knocked down, you get back up and learn from it and try again. The mother of all learning is failure.
joyboy 1mo ago
Negative experiences don’t build confidence. They add up and make you feel even worse
Confidence comes from positive experience
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
I understand. Thomas Edison tried to a make a light bulb and failed over 1000 times. It's the 1001th time that the light bulb came on. You can give up or keep trying and learn from each mistake.
MrSupreme 1mo ago
Spend a few days reading through the Roissy Archives (chateau heartiste), there's some great inner game content in there
redhawkes 2 1mo ago
The Roissy Reader
joyboy 1mo ago
Yeah I know, that's where I got the quote. It's from the 16 commandments of poon post
redhawkes 2 1mo ago
It's a mindset and the essence of it is Outcome Independence aka IDGAF. This is all perceived value, that's why women shit test. If you're congruent with that attitude, she'll get the tingles.
You should have stopped at 50 and self reflect, but obviously, you keep doing what doesn't work. Once you get success, repeat what you did and it'll become second nature.
Your problem is external validation. That's why you fail. You treat women as a measurement unit for your self worth, instant failure.
joyboy 1mo ago
How am I supposed to not have outcome independence if I actually care about wanting to be with the girl? Outcome independence comes from abundance mentality = you have options, which I obviously don't have at the moment.
And I have been self reflecting the entire time, kind of dumb to assume that I haven't lol. Just cause I opened an account here recently doesn't mean I haven't been seeking advice on improving my mindset elsewhere.
coolsocks00 1 1mo ago
You’re taking it too literally. You can get abundance mentality because it is not actually tied to the act of sex/getting sex. Just like you can get lots of sex and still not have an abundance mentality.
An abundance mentality can be achieved by believing in an abundant world. A world abundant in possibilities, women being one of them. Knowing that if a girl rejects you, that is nothing in the grand scheme.
Also believing that you actually deserve good things. That you dont have to fake, you can just take things, and believe in your own value. This is called internally validating yourself.
joyboy 1mo ago
Ok thanks that makes sense. So basically just focus on things other than girls to find my own value. This makes sense right after I fap but when I'm horny all of this goes out the window and I feel like pussy is the most important thing in the world
coolsocks00 1 1mo ago
Thats okay. The masculine drive to fuck you feel right there is a superpower, not a drawback.
redhawkes 2 1mo ago
Abundance mentality. Act as if you have.
Yea, elsewhere meaning incel circlejerks, hence the retardation.
joyboy 1mo ago
That’s easier said than done. How did you fake it when you first started out?
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1mo ago
Any situation, act like you've been there before.
FFS, don't tell a chick "I'm a virgin! You're my first!"
joyboy 1mo ago
I've tried that before and it just comes off as inauthentic trying to be something I'm not. Maybe I'm just not as skilled a liar as some of you.
Of course I don't go around telling anyone lmao.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Maybe give vague answers dude or pass shit tests?
https://www.google.com/amp/s/illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/%3famp=1
Lone_Ranger 1 1mo ago
Stop comparing yourself to others
Stop pedestaling women, in particular, attractive women.
The confidence that you are talking about comes from having fucked plenty of women - its not a quality game, its a quantity game. Once you have fucked plenty of women, then women treat you differently. Once you have the reputation as a man-slut around college, all the women want some. No women wants to get with an incel.