Well. Here it is.
I showed up to a buddies place and we watched Rocky. Then I showed up to the bars at around 10:30. I notice a trend here whenever I show up to bars, it’s literally a bunch of dudes standing around and girls dancing together in their girl clique. I didn’t see anyone hook up with anyone, no grinding, no nothing. Just girls dancing with each other and guys standing around like a bunch of homos with a beer in their hand.
Now I’ll admit this: I dressed pretty bad. I showed up in a t shirt of my school and jeans. No jewelry. I danced quite a bit and was having fun but I drank a lot of beer. I was looking around and all the girls were chilling with each other and all the guys were chilling with each other.
I would go up and approach girls but they all gave me a “eh, go away” vibe. They go home with no one, either. I don’t even see girls talk to other dudes. I saw some of my frat buddies literally standing in the back NOT dancing and NOT talking to anyone else besides themselves. No women. At this point, I was getting pretty depressed because I’ve come to the realization that most guys there are dorks and women come out to dance and have fun without any intention of hooking up.
Fuck. Guys, I hate to type this out but I have to. I really really really really do.
I had a long dry spell and I saw 3 fat chicks in the front. We started dancing and they talked to me and flirting. They seemed to be the only ones in the place putting out and I needed some. Long story short, I made out with one of them and brought her back to my apartment and tried to fuck her but I couldn’t get hard because she wasn’t hot and I was really drunk. I ate her out and got some head and we tried to fuck but I’m all fucked up. Midway through our session of trying to fuck, the friends call and tell her she HAS to leave. So I walk her out and got her snapchat. Kind of glad shes gone anyway. This is the very first time in my life that I brought home a chick from the bar. I’m proud that I did that, but really unhappy that it wasn’t a chick that was hot but it literally was the only ones willing to put out. I swear to god, I did not see ONE but of sexual stuff in that whole bar. Not to mention, I brought home a fat chick. I had to because I felt like every other girl in there wasn’t looking for dudes, they already have their rosters and shit.
So now I’m in my room drunk at 2AM and feeling like trash. At least I know where I can possibly pull chicks (never a fat one). I never felt so conflicted. I’m happy that I pulled and made out with a girl at the bar unlike 95% of other people, but I’m also depressed because I didn’t even get a chance to properly fuck her. I also faced fear of rejection. Lots of times I’d tap girls shoulders and say “hey” with a smile. Got nothing out of it. Maybe fat chicks are all thats good for me.
So yes, I did it. Yippee. I’ll try again next weekend but Jesus Christ fellas, I’m really downbad.
unplugged69 2mo ago
You failed, but you tried and this is good. Most guys talk about it but they don't initiate,you've already beaten 90% of men at this point. Let me give you some tips:
Jewelry is for fags
3.Constantly practice both night game and day game
When approaching women don't give yourself outcome goals, you need to be outcome independent so if she's not down to fuck you call your plate later and do her. Abundance and outcome independence are key. I know you don't have a plate but let's imagine you do
AbusiveFather1 2mo ago
Will you keep going to clubs/bars now that you know what they’re about?
Don’t lower yourself, don’t play on their home turf. They just scammed you - I promise you can definitely do better.
User4566 2mo ago
No, I’ll still go but I know how to make it cheap. I only spent $20 that night believe it or not and I had fun talking to people there. They’re a rip off if you go only to chase ass, I’ll admit. But I went to also drink and have fun.
mattyanon Admin 2mo ago
haha thanks for the story :)
I'll comment further in reply to Vermillion-Rx's post
imtranscending 2mo ago
lol
MrSupreme 2mo ago
If it was me writing the field report I would take note and learn this:
1- No fat chicks (they may be easy.but low self esteem and crap social proof/preselection) 2- I'm not the bar type,but if the place looks dry might as well hop to another one,or give up trying to smash and get drunk,dance,enjoy the night 3- If I'm trying to not be embarrassed about the fact that I hooked up with a fatty,I won't bring her home.Keep it away from my apartnent,maybe hers will do. 4- no matter how long the dry spell, settle for quality girls, even milfs are better than low self esteem Fatty's (beta women) 5- if drinking interrupts sex, then no drinking.I think its called whiskey dick
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
I'll respond to the rest later because I didn't have time/headspace to read it yet,
But this is so far from the truth. They go there, even if not explicitly to fuck a dude, with an open mind that their desired Chad will game them right and if it happens it happens
Your attitude is still largely broken about women and game
You had zero competition. Chad could have made himself the party and only guy getting all the pussy. You can either take of make opportunities and you did neither here
I need to write a post about Emotional Consonance because so many guys completely fail to understand that if you encapsulate the vibe the women are already having that you can easily slide in to an opportunity or to make one yourself
The reason bars end up with this is because women are going out with sheer abundance mentality, they know they can get dick if they want
I've had women literally tell me they can get dick if they want and that that's why they don't, because they don't see what they want but could have it
But also, these stupid chumps are not doing jack shit to vibe with them at all. You need to be on the same or better wavelength as the women you approach (you can make them feel negative emotions but that's extremely advanced and you cannot be doing that unless you are professional)
Think, if women are like a red pigment you add red to it to keep it red. Same with emotions. You approach them largely with the same shade of vibe they are already experiencing or a better shade of the same color
In packs especially women will give with a certain vibe. You need to be consonant with the kind of vibe they are experiencing
mattyanon Admin 2mo ago
If the music is loud and there is dancing, she goes there for attention. The music means she can dance and get attention, and the loud music blocks any form of conversation with a man.
If it's a more chill and sociable place where you can have a conversation, there's more chance that she's going there to meet someone.
That being said, women are still women, and they are always up for meeting an attractive man.
OP: Always go out looking fucking sharp. Women care about looks MORE THAN MEN, and your clothes say a lot about your social status. Sure you can break through that with game and looks, but in your situation (poor game, unknown looks), it sounds like you really need to wear decent fucking clothes.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
Loud music is a barrier but they are open to the right man approaching them. They aren't going to let some music stop them from Chad
User4566 2mo ago
Got it. Thing is, I didn’t want to look like a try-hard. There were tons of guys there who dressed like drug dealers or rappers and non of them got any attention. One of my chad buddies dressed in a plain white t shirt and jeans and women still approach him so I figured I don’t have to go over the top.
What do you recommend I wear?
Edit: forgot to mention, I did get some possible choosing signals. In my previous field report, I dressed in a black t shirt and jeans and I did get a solid choosing signal from a chick. I also THINK I got a choosing signal from a girl there. She looked at me and then said something to her friend while smiling. Couldn’t tell if she was digging me or clowning me. Didn’t approach.
mattyanon Admin 2mo ago
Right, because he looks good like that.
Depends on who you are, your best style, haircut, and how ripped you are.
Probably digging you.
Do you look good...... some muscles, low bodyfat, visible abs?
User4566 2mo ago
Super super super objective. I’m white, 6’4”, 14% body fat, have muscle (can bench 275) and defined arms and shoulders. I also have medium/long hair, which sometimes helps with women. But when I approached some chicks at the bar/nightclub, sometimes they give me a “oh…hey… :/“ kinda look. I think one of them even chuckled at me approaching her.
imtranscending 2mo ago
Your stats give you chad status.
Let me ask you this, why do you think you're messing up?
Why did you try and bang an overweighty?
I've read many of your field reports user, lots of them involve trying to pick up women once you're intoxicated or on your way.
Do you think alcohol is helping you perform in these situations?
User4566 2mo ago
You’d think, but I still get rejected.
Mainly just approaching girls in these places, I kinda find it hard to get the ball rolling.
It was free pussy, I was downbad, we all have “that girl” we don’t talk about lmao
Because booze makes me WANT to talk to people. It also helps me shut my mind off from overthinking. When I’m sober, I get super uncomfortable and very introverted. I feel like cold approaching chicks on college campus is a bit of a waste of time because they’re starting to catch onto it on my schools subreddit. Chicks saying “don’t come up to me and ask me for my number” and all this shit.
mattyanon Admin 2mo ago
Ok.
You look good, you care too much what other people think.
User4566 2mo ago
The reason I do this is because I get rejected a lot. If I looked good, girls would put out. Sometimes women do show interest, like last friday a girl looked at me and licked her beer bottle. On Tuesday, a girl looked at my crotch then back at me and smiled.
This only happened at the bars and clubs, I don’t get any attention in class. I also grew up a dork so I have PTSD from it.
mattyanon Admin 2mo ago
Right.
Learn to care less. You're getting enough choosing signals. You need to learn to talk to women, interest them, and tease them (ie act like you have all the power, are enjoying it, and couldn't care less).
User4566 2mo ago
Yes, which is why I’m going out and trying to learn. So far, I’ve been doing very well besides my latest experience. Those girls who gave me signals were much hotter than “that girl”.
But then I get in my head, like maybe she didn’t mean it, maybe it was a mistake, if I approach I’ll blow it.
First-light 2mo ago
I would call that a pretty successful training session. Well done.
The more you practise the better you get. I am sure the game pros can critique what you did but as you say you pulled the best you thought you could achieve that night and she was willing to do whatever you wanted. That is a success, even if the masters of the chad art might have done better..
Failing to get hard is a real blow to the ego. Probably the only things that could be improved on there is be less drunk and feel you are trying less hard about the whole thing. No game is ever played best when drunk or when trying too hard mentally. You would always tell a sportsman to arrive sober and relax and enjoy the game,. The mind is the biggest erogenous zone and if your mind is not relaxed and you are just doing things as a sort of duty, then it will be hard to be excited about fat chicks.
I think its fine as a learning experience and the fact is that if you had been able to bang, you would have had a far better feeling about the whole thing.