I know this MILF that's part of a social circle of people in their 30s and 40s that I hang with. She's divorced with a kid, has tattoos, formerly a bartender and fake tits. The reference of me being her son came from last night. For context people kept hitting on her while we were talking. This guy for the second time walked up and said “I hope you’re taking care of my man (referring to me).
Her: "I take great care of him, his dick is huge and he keeps coming back."
me: Whatever she gives me I also return to her.
For the third time the drunk says "“I hope you’re taking care of my man" (referring to me)
Her: Oh I am, I feed him 3 meals a day.
She gets hit on A LOT (fake tits?), and as she was tryna get out the door she got stopped by another guy. So I walked up and said “mom, can we leave now” and her: "you're ready to go home?" to help pull her away from the guy. It worked and it was funny, we both laughed about it and told the group.
So I used that to open her in text (got her # from a house party over Halloween, she wasn't hesitant).
Being an ex bartender, she can sniff any flirting from a mile away. I'm just testing the waters, but don't wanna risk making it awkward with the group (I think she'd tell the other women, idk). I could've kinod her last night, but wasn't feeling good. We hug though. I think I should keep the light flirting going, but what advice do y'all have?
ObliviousDuck 1y ago
I'm speechless. Last comment I said about you getting fucked by a girl and still wondering if it was an IOI was a joke, but now... You are one step closer to making it reality.
Too late. She probably already told them she openly invited you to go fuck at her place and you were too clueless to get it.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
You need to swap usernames with OP
[deleted] 1y ago
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Lone_Ranger 2 1y ago
THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS! It's actually impossible to parody.
ObliviousDuck 1y ago
Look, I get it. It is never 100% stuff, never will be, and we autistic fucks hate stuff that isn't 100%, but at some point you have to go for it.
In that case, the girl literally asked you if you wanted to go home. What the hell did you say so that didn't happen? What you needed to do was pull her by the waist and say: "Yeah, let's go." Fuck this "I didn't feel like kinoing that night". This is bullshit rationalisation and you know it.
But let's suppose for a moment that I am wrong and you are in fact friendzoned (which is a slim but real possibility). This is the kind of stuff you want to know immediately by polarizing her. You want to get rejected so that you don't linger in Limbo for nothing and lose your time with her.
[deleted] 1y ago
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ObliviousDuck 1y ago
No. The girl has fake tits, she doesn't need your help to get rid of a guy. She was talking to you, just like you were subcommunicating by asking her to leave with you, but I'm starting to think you did it by accident.
She was flirting with you. Was it for validation, for fun or for your dick? You won't know until you escalate until it's make or break.
Lone_Ranger 2 1y ago
That reminds of this one time, when I went back to this girl's apartment for a coffee. I went to make the coffee in the kitchen, and when I found that she was out of coffee, I went back into the living room to ask her about that. She was lying on the floor, dressed only in stockings and high heels, and had a ball gag in her mouth. Her legs were wide open and her pussy was freshly waxed, glimmering slightly in the soft candle light.
"What's the deal with inviting me back here for coffee when you know full well you're out of coffee??" I cried.
I couldn't really understand what she was trying to reply (ball gag getting in the way). So I just left, stopping off at StarBucks on the way, to actually get a coffee.
As I drove home alone, I couldn't help wonder to myself...was there some hidden message or something in the way she was lying on that rug? Was she trying to insinuate something?
I don't know. I hope one day I'll just meet a women that doesn't want to just play games.